The gentle power of highly sensitive people | Elena Herdieckerhoff | TEDxIHEParis
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- Опубликовано: 23 июн 2016
- Elena is a mentor for highly sensitive and empathic entrepreneurs. She explains why we need to change the prevalent cultural narrative around highly sensitive people.
Elena Herdieckerhoff, Founder & CEO of Entreprincess, is a mentor for highly sensitive and empathic entrepreneurs. In her TEDx talk, she explains why we need to change the prevalent cultural narrative around highly sensitive people. As a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) herself, she has made it her mission to empower other HSP entrepreneurs to turn their sensitivity into their greatest business asset. She is an award-winning serial entrepreneur, including having built a highly acclaimed international luxury skincare brand, and has graduated from the Sorbonne (DEUG), University College London (B.A.) and the London School of Economics (MSc). She is passionate about entrepreneurship, French literature, organic living, Reiki and spirituality!
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
When someone says “don’t be so sensitive”, I say “don’t be so insensitive”.
ha ha! right on!!
Period
You are smart
Niiice. Haha!
❤️
Being a highly sensitive person makes you feel like you're an alien on the wrong planet
Sooooo true! I often say my being here was some kind of mistake in paperwork
Or maybe we are on a mission.
Its all about sensing the god and why he created as. And after i discovered islam i relax and lived happy
true true! Sometimes I feel like I need to be somewhere totally different! Sometimes I ask myself why am I like this?
I keep saying “Im not supposed to be here, this is a mistake…”
My wife of 6 years is highly sensitive. We married in our late thirties and run a business together. Her sensitivity used to drive me nuts. But after many long conversations, tears and many apologies, I can say she has helped me become a kinder, gentler man. I’m still improving. I feel blessed to have her. I must’ve prayed for patience at some point because the good Lord is helping me have that virtue in spades.
U are a great man for cherishing her and ur love for her will come back at a ten fold
She's just being a female. They're all that way.
I'm a HSP and my husband has same experience. Glad we glow up together 😊
God Bless you 😁❤️
What is the patience for?
The opposite of sensitivity is insensitivity, and that is nothing to be proud of. Sensitive people are not weak or broken. They are stronger than the rest - feeling everything to the fullest and still leaving their hearts open. It is not weak to feel something. It is weak to push it away and numb yourself out of fear. True strength is feeling everything and not building walls around your heart.
Beautiful. I hope more people read your comment.
Death is numb. Life is sensitive.
When I’m upset, I cry. When someone else is upset with me, I cry. When I’m angry, I cry. When someone is angry at me, I cry. When I yell at someone, I cry. When someone yells at me, I cry.
I can relate so much to this.
So true me too
Same here and I’m 62 yo
Shut up
Chanandler Bong me ttoo
im so sensitive that when I am mad at someone, I feel bad for them for having someone be upset with them because it might make them sad which ends up making me twice as sad smh
I can relate to this so much omg
Damn, I relate too much.
And that's why I don't wanna get mad at anyone in the first place.
You are adorable!!!
I feel you 😄
i know that feeling XD and im a man
Being a highly sensitive person who cries at every Disney movie and smiles at sunflowers, I was told " don't let the world hurt you", "it's such a little thing", " you are too sensitive " and believed that there was something incredibly wrong with me. The ability to feel vast range of emotions quickly became a sense of guilt and shame. I think it's a tragedy when a person who wear their heart on a sleeve, start locking their hearts away in gallows. There is nothing more tragic than telling a person who feels everything that there's a problem with them. Thank you for this video. I'll keep this close to my heart everytime I feel a little sad. Thank you 🌻
Having a bad day or being sad is okay. Just don't let it drown you, but everyone sometimes has a bad day, or even a bad week. There's nothing wrong with that. Take the time to recover and treat yourself with the kindness you also give to others.
I always had the problem of having to get up and walk out.
“Corporations should invite sensitive people to the table, because without sensitives they risk lacking integrity, innovation and humanity”. Very well said, indeed.
Nope.
they'll never do that - money and HSPs don't coalign
Consider there are changes in the middle ground and non profit side, very often it is the changed that bring that to their work and after these two years, I believe we are interested in change in every place 🍶
I like this. Awesome comment. True 👍
Haha if only.
"It's both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so very deeply."
😢
Righttr
Wow, right on, I totally agree with your comment.
mire like curse... at least for me...
Exactly.
When you tell someone they're too sensitive what they hear is
"Your feelings arent important and I dont care about you and you need to stop being who you are"
Exactly! 👏
😢😥😰
Oooo
I grew up with a Mom telling me that.
When you brutally tell someone that they are too sensitive, it is a judgemental statement saying that person isn’t good enough and that they should change, which is really difficult to do and to hear. You really don’t feel accepted at all when you hear that haha. There are better ways to help people and build them up I think, because that only tears a person down. I grew up hearing that I was “too nice”, what is that even supposed to mean I thought. Why couldn’t others try to be nicer, why should I have to change? But I was pretty naive and people took advantage of me being nice, so I’m glad that I’m not overly trusting anymore! But hearing that wasn’t helpful at all, it was life that taught me, not people always telling me that I was “too much”, that was only hurtful to hear...
I’m a teacher and an HSP. I had a student this year who is a HSP. He would always come over to my desk to have a quiet conversation with me when other students were working. I think he appreciated having a teacher who understood him, and didn’t see him as whiny and annoying. I will miss him next year as he moves onto the next grade.
this is so heartwarming...
you're a fantastic teacher
I wish I had a teacher like you growing up
I am an HSP and I pray to have someone who understands me and that student is so lucky that he had got a person who is his own teacher to share his feelings.
Being sensitive does not make you weak always remember that sensitive people often feel hurt more than others but they also feel good feelings like love , empathy , faith more than others and this is what makes them strong . ❤️
I agree this 10000%. This is so true and correct
The other prize we pay is loneliness, I always think off God and Jesus it helps a lot it always brings me back to being accepted as me to my true core so I stand my ground, I can't change myself for what I stand your core values that comes from whit in yes I'm seriously sensitive and we need a whole lot more of sensitive people, and for many out there if you fall off the horse clime back on and don't look to much back just ones in a while keep strong go stronger
"Most HSPs have a genuine urge to create connection and meaning. Because they feel every pain they see, they want to elevate the forgotten, and save the misfortunate."
"Only connect." E.M. Forster The deep urge to connect has driven my life since very early childhood. When I saw Forster's statement on the first page of his book Howard's End I understood myself for the first time.
Hit me like a brick
Ouch
And right wrongs.
THIS.
@@elenalatici9568 I feel the same, but the lack of connection, or the failure of connection is so distressing. I also wonder if many HSPs ended up as English majors. Reading and discussing great literature in college was like heaven for me.
It really sucks when you feel like you can't speak up sometimes cause you know you'll just start crying. That's me... I'm afraid to speak my mind and tell people how I feel cause I'll just cry and it feels horrible crying around other people, especially when you're a guy.
Not much different when you're a girl. I cried while doing a speech at my cousin's wedding lol 😄😑. Embarrassing
I feel you
Brandon Lease I am like that too .. people do not understand that it is out of how passionate you are about some thing but they read is weakness ... eventually I stoped arguing with people
Well I have the opposite; I can feel as bad as anything. I could be sitting in the corner, rocking back and forth, wanting to kill myself, and I will NOT cry. This is not a choice, this is my life. And believe me, it's not all it's cracked up to be. Nobody ever takes me seriously. I might say to someone "I feel really really terrible right now" and they'll say "oh, can I help you?" and then I'll look at them and smile involuntarily, and they'll kind of pretend to listen to whatever I say (generally something along the lines of "I hate myself"), give some sort of useless piece of advice (like maybe, "think about something else") and move on. Meanwhile, here I am, losing faith in humanity and desperately, desperately needing someone to help me. I wish I DID cry. You guys have it a lot better than you think.
Which isn't to say that your struggles aren't valid - just, be careful what you pray for
I recently went to see a psychologist and discovered I’m a HSP (and I’m an Asian male). Everything starts to make sense now as I hated shopping because it will give me massive migraines due to the lights, sounds and colours and I’ve got to think “I need to buy something”, amongst other things. Been told many times that I think too much and to not be sensitive, to man up.
Now I know myself better, and I’m working to accept myself for who I am.
"to man up" is so toxic. (i'm asian female)
Hi I am very sensitive to light too. I get migraines a lot, you could look into sunglasses that sort of tone it down in stores. It's helped me out a lot everywhere I go. I use them at school and at work too lately and if you pick the right model you could jokingly play it off as being cool or trying to look like a secret agent, it's been my go to joke for a while. You also don't need to man up, you're good the way you are.
Yes, for boys especially (speaking as Southeast Asian & American) this is important. My son is 13 and he thinks deep and has intense feelings too. I want him to learn to express himself in the right way instead of keeping it all inside and then spiraling into a grumpy/teary fit at night. Men generally have it harder with stereotypes around emotions and manliness. For any fathers reading this, remember that your impact on your children (sons especially) has a boomerang effect back to you. You show your emotions and tears and joys so your kids learn how to be human and compassionate, expressive and supportive in good ways; and fathers, you get the benefit of deeper connections with your family, better sensitivity to your kids' emotions and needs, and a lighter heart to be strong for your loved ones.
HSP from Germany here. This made me cry a few times. Reading the comments feels so good. Knowing that there are so many others like me 💕
I feel you - my heart goes out to you.
I feel the same when i watch the video.
me too
So geht es mir bei vielen hsp Videos. Ich werde nie vergessen als mir klar wurde wieso ich so bin wie ich bin es war einer der emotionalsten Momente in meinem Leben. Hoffe dir geht es gut bleib stark!
Hsp introvert ppl are called cruel selfish ones by their narcissistic or extroverted families
💗💗💗💗
"... a touch is a blow,
a sound is a noise,
a misfortune is a tragedy,
a joy is an ecstasy,
a friend is a lover,
a lover is a god,
and failure is death.
..."
The HSP among you who reads this will recognize it too.
Oh, yes. Too bloody right. Especially the three last ones.
My bf is a HSP.
I am reading and watching video about this, because I want to understand.
Not surprisingly, he is an artist and schoolteacher of art.
I have learned much from this video;
I think this is more difficult on a man.
There is a place in the world for gentle people and the blessing they are to those who love them.
@@Briselance Yup
Yes exactly.
Love that
This comment section feels like a big support group.
refreshing, isn't it!?
@@nwwoman525 very much so!
section is full of pussies
maybe we should keep in touch! :)
LOL! it really does. I think that says all that needs be said about HSP's being better than normies...IJS...there's not a lot of youtube videos where you can read a full page without at least 10 insults. lol
I want to hug every sensitive person right now. And say: "dear wonderful person, you are not alone! You're soooo beautiful! I quite understand you..I'm like that myself, it's good that I'm not alone!!"
HSP from Australia… I am 59 years old and only just realised I am a highly sensitive person. So great to have a name for my sensitivity at last. I was on a mission all my life to change who I was and I hated myself for feeling so much… I love so so deeply and that scares people… I am so sensitive to sound, light and too much activity around me. I spend lots of time by myself now and I love it. I was so scared because I didn’t want to be around people much and I labelled myself a loner… but I’m not …. And I’m me and so so accepting of myself now…. Th all my fellow HSP’s, keep being yourselves and know there are lots of us out here and we are needed by this world to keep it balanced because there is so much cruelty and hate in this world now…. Keep shining your bright lights 😃😃😃❤️❤️❤️
I think I just found my people... 😊
Naomi Cugini I am sitting next to my sleeping partner in our dark bedroom at 2a.m. trying to sob as quietly as possible with that same realization. It was especially poignant as I just spent an exhausting week of over thinking, trying to explain how/why I felt the way I do and starting to think maybe I really am as bonkers as some people think. In my heart I knew I wasn't though, and now I see it too. We have found the others.
heeey! xD
me too :)
Omg I want to name my daughter Naomi what a pretty name !
It's a nice feeling, especially since as HSP I felt no other mental illness/ diagnosis fit my description.
I think that's what made it so hard for me to figure out I'm HSP, it's not a mental illness yet I was led to believe I might possibly have mental health issues because my hypersensitivity can lead me to experience symptoms of depression, paranoia, and anxiety all at different times.
It's such a nice feeling when you get to realise that you aren't handicapped, you are just different thus our HSP coping mechanisms need to be nurtured in different ways to that of regular society.
Also on a side note I'm not upset about finding out I'm just human. Kind of leads me to believe everyone else is just robots not gonna lie lol.
I’ve realised that as an HSP I love deeper and more selflessly. This is mostly not returned at the same level and leaves a feeling of being unappreciated and not loved.
Completely, I don't think most of us will ever get the same in return. But I know personally it won't stop me from loving as much as I do. I know because I tried to grow cold hearted, it was impossible and frustrating.
Me too💌
exactly
@@leiftheviikiingerickson7156 i’ve bever related to anything more than this comment
I totally agree @Christa
"This world is a comedy to those that think - a tragedy to those that feel." ~ Horace Walpole
So true, Horace, so true...
I understand myself so much more.
I recognise this is not weakness.
I understand the agony and strife.
My perception of life is felt beyond full.
My emotional dial is not broken.
A limitless empathic capacity.
Imagine when you have an argument and when you are 100％ right you cant even defend yourself bc your tears coming out faster than your words and people opposide you blaming you for using your tears as a gun as if crying is a choice
selenator gomez omg yes!
Sooo true
I have this problem terribly. And that's why I hate confrontation more than anything. Unfortunately people don't understand, even my parents, who get bothered when I don't like to talk in arguments. But if I do I just cry
My angry, controlling, manipulative, abusive ex-husband always liked to tell at me and call me crazy and tell other people that I am crazy but I realized that crying about the horrible treatment of myself and our young son would be a reaction out of a sane person. He knew I was very forgiving, deep feeling, strong loving person who is sensitive to the feelings of everyone they encounter but could not get the same thing from my own husband for me.
@@deelove2793 I am very very very happy that you had the strength and the courage to stand up for yourself and leave. I applaud you and wish nothing but the best for you! GOD bless you and your son!
I can literally read people's emotions and mind just by looking at them. Anyone else can do that?
Big Mo me too. Blessing and a curse
I have a formidable intuition I don't have to. Learn some things I just know
Me too, it’s very easy to do: simply observe: the pupils, body language, corners of mouth, tilt of the head, among others.
Sometimes, it’s hard to be neutral to someone you know dislikes you...
Yes
Me too
I’m a HSP, but I realize that feelings can often be wrong. Use your intellect to analyze situation and recognize reality.
This pulled me out of the darkest hole you could imagine. Thank you I feel a sense of pride about something I’ve always felt great shame for
I just wanted to say hi to all my fellow HSPs. Love, from Me
And how many here, actually have that gotten it diagnosed by a neurologist, maybe decades ago, and think it's basically a term for, "not harmful, shrugs, whatever"? lmao
💖
Hi
Hi!!!
Hello😻
To all HSP people: it's so good you're here
Thank you
Oh, thank you!!! :)
That is very kind, I'm glad you are here. many thanks.❤️
We are necessary
I was accused at my workplace for being “too sensitive “ I thought about this for some time and came to the conclusion that it’s not a bad thing but a plus. I care about people. Caring about people can only be seen as a beautiful asset. Don’t stop being a sensitive person just because it makes those without sensitivity uncomfortable. The world is a better place with us in it.
Same experience at work for me
泣いてしまった。
よく考えすぎだと言われ、自分でも分かってはいて、でもどうすることもできなくて、言われたり自覚したりする度に自分に辟易してたけど、遺伝的なものだと断言してくれていて救われた気がした。病気じゃないから誰にも言えないし、ずっと一人で抱えて周りとの差や違いを必死に埋めたり隠したりしながら生きていくんだと思ってたけど、コメント欄の人たちも私と似ていて、仲間ができたようで心が軽くなりました。ありがとう。
Live how you like to live my dear.
Because others are just, people.
People who don’t understand you, they are strangers. Strangers, we can ignore.
祝福您
As a sensitive, I take on a lot of emotions from people and a lot of times, very deeply. Sometimes it sucks because it drains you out. I find that being out in the nature alone, recharges my soul and makes me feel at peace.
One time I had an panick attack ower my friends emotions
Praying, reading books, drawing and going to the gym also help
Energetic healing methods help you. I’m also high sensitive… call it however you want. I feel so much, deep and also the problems of other people. I work with Matrix energetics from Richard Bartlett, aura technique, 2 point healing method… As such emotional people we have to learn to protect ourselves because we get so quickly negative energy from others into our own system.
I think it's hard for many who don't understand an HSP like me, when I retreat into myself to be alone, to just be in a quiet space...especially when things are fraught. I am always at my best in a green out door space... Far from the madding crowd.
All my life I've been like that (now 58) and it will always be that way.
It was the same in school, in college and the work place. At times it can be extremely painful.
As I live in a major city, this can be, intolerable at times.
Sadly, the majority of the world don't understand the complexities of an HSP. They just think we're highly strung, or just difficult. It's precisely the fact that a non HSP's environment makes us that way, that we need to retreat to a silent place like a church for instance or just go alone to a quiet room and shut the door behind us.
@@captainvonk do you have social anxiety
i used to hate myself and i would google "how to be heartless" all the time lol. but now i love myself for being kind
omg same
same i used to search things like be emotionless cause no one ever validated my feelings not even my mom lol
Me too
😅😅😅 so relatable
Im thinking about getting the book "the art of not giving af"...being an emotional empath can be so overwhelming it makes me physically sick.ik good and well ima read the book and be the same sensitive person i was before i read it.wish i knew how to not absorb all the energy i come in contact with.mostly bad energy....
Being highly sensitive, most of the times there's a sense of emptiness that I feel,sometimes you are just out of breath,
coz I've experienced that nobody's gonna feel or react to me the same way and I'm invested in them just to regret later, you feel like caged in an window-less box
I totally agree
Can totally relate :( Be gentle on yourself. 20% of the world understand your world....
As a HSP I cried by the end of the presentation. Boy how we need a gentler world. 🙏🏼💎
I'm always told "You can't save the world" Maybe not, but I'll cry trying 😏
me
Omg 😂😂😂 so true
Hahaha love it!!
I hear u. I often get yelled at for giving all my money to strangers or letting ppl i barely know live w me for free in a small 1 bwdroom apt until they're ok.
@@karencarney7595 I feel you on that. I once brought home a mother and her 2 kids. Fed them, let them shower and stay the night. I drove her around town finding resources. Finally found a woman's shelter for them. Never saw them again. Other times I've given our sleeping bags away and made hygiene bags. I could go on and on lol. No matter what I'll always have a big heart to help others.
My biggest problem with being an hsps (even though I hate putting labels on everything) is, that I notice everything. I feel like I can see peoples bare souls, it feels like I KNOW what they're thinking! it's like I feel their feelings and fell their vibes. It's something that led me to social anxiety. I used to have so many friends, but at times I started to sort them out, cause I just couldn't stand their lies, their begrudges towards me. I simply smell their intentions. But honestly it's overwhelming for me being in school or work everyday, cause there're to many bad vibes out there and it feels like they're weighing down on me. I don't know...
i feel the same exact way.
It’s okay, things will get better. Just like Elena said, you have a beautiful gentle gift. ^^
Voice of Humanity
wow that's exactly how I feel..thank you for putting it out there...its hard when you feel so much and then the line between inspiration and duty gets mangled..we are like walking dreamers with so much love..but in a toxic environment it suffocates your beauty and perhaps the toxic environment goes inward when it's not you but the world's ugliness that hurts so much
This hit me on another level, cannot agree more. Thank you.
WHAT YOU SAID RELATED...GOOD TO KNOW NOT ALONE!
As a fellow highly-sensitive person, this made my heart smile. I've always thought that being highly sensitive was a bad thing, but this TEDTalk made me realize otherwise. Thank you for this!
Literally same!!
私は小さい頃から｢感受性の強い子だね｣と言われる事が多く今まで生きてきて、自分の感受性の強さに生きづらさを感じており未だになれません。
生きていると沢山の困難にぶち当たります。その度に深く落ち込みます。最近やっと日本にもHSPという言葉が広がり、理解しようという動きが始まってます。こちらのスピーチを聞いて涙を流しながら聞きました😢 私はいつもHSPというのが弱く恥ずかしい事だと思っていたので、スピーチをされてる方の力強くも優しい言葉に胸を打たれました😌✨
とても素晴らしいスピーチをありがとうございましたm(_ _)m✨
私も感受性はこのままに自分自身を大切にしながら生きたいと思います✨
and always remember that you’re not alone
Many highly sensitive ppl don't realize that they are the energy healers of the world. Put your energy to work my friends. We are the gifted one's. Trust me.
energy healers? explain please :)!
I think I've just found the right video x) I mean, I've been saying that sensitive (plus, logical & fair) ppl will be the ones who'll "save" this world, because they simply are the ones who care enough to do it! That leads me to mentioning my ultimate dream, of somehow making all these ppl unite (at least on the internet) and start acting on our ideas of a better, more balanced society... Scattered as we are, we can't change much, imo. If we gathered up, more would follow and true positive change would become less and less unrealistic (hint: war and its chaos being the only thing that can stop it).
"We are the gifted ones" Oh woooooooww. Modest, aren't ya?
Susan Peters trust me
Stella R. HSPs/Empaths. We feel the energy around us, we feel people’s energies and emotions and have a deep empathy and understanding of people’s pains and problems.
We have been gifted by God/Universe to heal other people on this planet, because the world is in need of healing and enlightenment. We are on the verge of a new world and we are the ones that will bring it.
Thanks for this! How many HSPs are diagnosed for depression because they just feel like no one understands them and they’re too sensitive.
I think HSP's are quite susceptible to anxiety and depression. I saw some quite violent things when I was younger, which didn't affect those around me in the long term but stuck with me and are still clear in my mind to this day 15 years later
Just coming over from 3 time narcissistic abuse my life is full of stress from small age and always think is there anything that my mind so I ate 100's of sleeping pills in last 30 years living as hsp is to tough it's better to live like narcisst people . everybody like to humilate us without any cause today's world is just for masked personality like narcisst .we can't change the world but we need to change according to this wild world
Pilot Ryan and Capt. Mike RC So sadly true.
Ah I’m one of them
@The Effortless Fairy Same
The fact that this video made me cry, confirms I’m an HSP 😅 I really needed to hear this. I never knew what my issue was until watching this.
I saw this video some years ago which made me realize I’m an HSP. Today I saw it again and I’m also crying, I totally feel you
5年前の動画なのか、、、ずっと伝えられない思いを抱えてたりそれを伝えることが出来た時、自分の意図と反して涙が出てきてしまうことに悩んでいたけれど、つい最近ようやくHSPだと分かってから、凄く心が軽くなりました。この動画を見て、より一層そのままの自分でいていいんだと感じられました。
Is there anyone who feels like she/he trained so hard to oppress their sensitivity that they sometimes seem cold to others?
Lendri , I’ve spent my whole life trying to “Man Up”. My dad told me the world would crush someone like me. A softy. The more I tried to suppress who I was, the more depressed I became. Speak your truth. Your beautiful the way you/we are.
Mark Flitz thank you for your kind words ❤️
Completely, my cousin accused me if having anti social disorder.. Quite the opposite
Definitely. Not to single out guys, but we really do have it beaten out of us, especially us Gen X guys and older. The message is always that it's not normal to feel things, especially to feel them deeply, or to be concerned about others, or to need others, and especially not to show emotion. There's so much suppressing that happens over time. I'm 45, i've been told in person I give off a strong "stay away" vibe and it's probably true. I'm not doing it intentionally, but I think it's just something that's so burned into the subconscious, we don't know how to get passed it or to "undo" it. I feel like it's getting better for younger generations, at least I hope so...we cheat people by holding them to these preconceived notions of what we're supposed to and not supposed to be.
kgbeezr75 very true
I've always felt weird and alone about feeling things on a deeper level. I was always told by my family and friends to "get over it" and that "it's not that big of a deal". I've always felt misunderstood. Thank you so much for this beautiful tedtalk
The thing is that everything you feel is actually real. So use it to your advantage. Hsp have actually great ability to influence other people because they get every cue!
itsjacky feel the same way :(
itsjacky I can relate to you 100%
itsjacky
have s good day
HSP's unite! We are dreamers who dream of a kinder world. Take care of yourself first and you will surely improve the lives of those around you. Respect and accept yourself for you are strong to feel such impactful emotions and choose to continue on everyday. Some people would feel our emotions and crumble at the seems, where as we feel them and know that they make us incredible friends, family members, and strangers. Your empathy is admirable and your big heart is exceptional. Take care of yourself❤🔥
Thank you!! Awesome words made me feel better ❤
Sigh.... Story of my life. It took me a very long time to realize I'm HSP, after a friend mentioned about the book to me, in my 40s.
It's definitely hard living as an HSP in this world where it's all about competition, ambition, and just go go go. So much injustice, so many horrible things going on, and so much noise polution out there. You feel everything so deeply!!
To be told "you overthink things", "just get over it", "you worry too much" and so on all your life.
To feel like you don't belong and feel so alien, and at odds with so many things and the ways of this world, to feel so different.... It's been very challenging for sure. Everything she said (in the Ted Talk).... It was just yes, yes, yes.
Good to at least know we're not completely alone and that there are others out there.
Sending a big hug and lots of love to all my HSP brothers and sisters.
💕💓💕
Sending hugs your way!!
Big hug!
What is the book you mention?
I'm an old lady. I felt like you were describing me when I was young. Meditation taught me to discipline my mind. I learned to turn off the noise in my head. I learned about peace. My sensitivity blossomed into wisdom
Karin Larsen that’s the message we should be spreading!! Meditation has also helped me immensely
I'm 37 years old and I too have invited meditation into my life 3 years ago from the advice of a therapist and it has helped be also bring inner peace and wisdom. It's really great to see this mental health tool being practiced in schools now! ✌️
I'm on the right path ❤️😉
Beautiful, that is what im always seeking and practising now for myself too. For a long time in my life, i struggled, i did not even fit in cause i was toi different.
, yes indeed. Very much so, this information can help a lot of us growing into this and to learn to embrace it.
This might be the first RUclips comment section I've seen in a while where it's filled with nothing but pleasant and considerate commentators
Mrsuicidesheep’s comment section is pure love too hehe. It’s great electro music but seriously, I enjoy reading the comments,
Steve Thomas i love that and agree
this is sarcasm, right ?
Because it's filled with...well...highly sensitive people
Steve Thomas Amen
The mean comments have prob been filtered out.
How can I give this a thousand likes? Thank you so much for breaking HSP's down in layman's terms. I am proud to be an HSP.
Absolutely beautifully said! Thank you! All my life I have said, "I'm either the happiest person in the room or the saddest. It's a blessing and a curse," completely unaware of the term, HSP until recently. Now it all makes sense. ❤
My mom always said "stop being so sensitive!" And that made me even more sensitive.
My dad would say that to me too.. sucks
yeah thats crazy its not like we can stop being so sensitive on comand
I heard " don't be so sensitive" alot, I kept thinking, people don't feel or see these same things? A therapist said, " you see things "before" other people"... They don't see it. Wow.
My dad has said this my whole life and still says it
Lol me too😢😅
Sensitive people are GENUINE. We are the ones who care while everyone else walks away.
Omg yes
Yes!
💯💯💯❤️
cat lady love your username! 😻
Lynn Marie Anderson yes
I'm a sensitive person training to be a counselor. This video got me thinking about the relationship between my HSP and my ADHD.
I have always wanted to train as a counsellor, but felt I would get too emotional with clients so I didn't go down that path. How have you found it, being HSP?
ADHD & CPTSD are very similar.
i am highly sensitive and have adhd as well. if you have imfomation, studies or links you could share i'd be very gratefull !
As a child, I struggled with math, and I know my teacher was just telling me what I did wrong, and a small reminder. She didn't know that I'm an HSP, so after she walked away, I almost started crying in the middle of class.
Thought I'd mention my story.
Same I'm also a HSP and struggle at maths whenever my teacher raises his voice at me Or tell me where I'm wrong in middle of the class i feel so overwhelmed and shed silent tears.
Same! If a teacher shouts at me, I cry almost immediately. But tbh, crying is much better than yelling and shouting mean words
This is me, I hate my emotions, I'm empath and sensitive. Its exhausting.
Hud .Hud I think I am too. I feel ish I'm not supposed to feel
Hud .Hud there comes a time that you embrace yourself ♡ keep on going :)
How do we, as hsp's, deal with our families, friends and the general public when it comes to explaining OURselves? Yes, I've been told to 'toughen up', to 'get over it', to 'move on'. But my sensitivities to EVERYthing prohibits this, in a timely enough fashion for others. I get left behind.
There will be a time that you will recieve acceptence from others..the first thing what hsp people have to do is embracing themselves as beautiful and lovable people..then the rest will follow..and if not? well then you've created so much love for yourself and people that do support you, that you dont need the validation of others
Yeah, which is weird. If it is making us so exhausted how come we tend to be insomniacs. You think the mental exhaustion would knock us out.
When people say “be a man”, “crying is for girls” to a guy, don’t understand that expressing your feeling is not being weak but rather is a sign that they are strong enough to display their feelings and have the courage to show their real self
Agreed.. 😇🤗
This is lovely ❤️ as a girl who only dates highly sensitive guys, I completely agree!
Rudra patel 🙏
Amen!
I agree 100%! It's a falsity that being emotional is a sign of weakness & that keeping it together is a strength. Actually being present with & feeling our feelings is a massive strength, a superpower even. If everyone was able to really feel, own & accept their pain the world would be a very different place, less projections (wars, violence, etc.). ... And I find vulnerability in a man to be incredibly attractive! Good for you for being able to be your true self in a world where men in particular get stamped down!!! 🌺
At work, in life, people say I think too much.
Well, finally, I calmly reply, “it’s you who doesn’t think enough”
Felt good.
I believe that 17 years ago, I was misdiagnosed with a very serious mental illness, when, in fact, I’m not mentally ill, but actually am a HSP.
Same thing happened to me
"My favorite extreme sport is being an empath in a society of ego maniacs." -some rando on insta
venuspenistrap hahaha that’s hilarious
I love this! 😂
you'd need a bit of an ego already to post something like that lmao
venuspenistrap
Lmao wtf
Love it :)
28 years old and I finally feel validated. Thank you. I never knew.
I feel the same!
So am I :')
Me too 😭 feels good.
26 years old..same here. I've never heard of anything like this before and it's changed my life
Hugs
I was told in therapy im super sensative and .I personally see it as a gift to be so caring to others who need support ,I not only feel others pain but find im drawn to certain places to aid someone in some trauma .I could be classed as being clairvoyant .Manny times i have felt compelled to be at a place at a specific time ,only to strike up conversation with someone in great need of help Someone i never met before .Yes help to the point of stopping them from calling it a day to put it mildly .Yes we have our gifts and they sometimes cost .
"imagine being in permanent osmosis with everything around you" that's exactly what it feels like. I often feel weak and fragile, so thank you for underscoring how sensitivity can also be a gift.
I decided to live alone, and it helps alot for being highly sensitive person.
I've recently come to this conclusion.... It used to sadden me, but now ive accepted its best
Yes it does help. I recently let somebody move in . Yikes been alone 7 years , should be interesting ... 😂
Careful it can lead to depression and a whole heap of other problems especially in pandemic
pffft... of course
I do not want to be isolated either. I want to be loved like I love people.
“When one cries the other tastes salt.” That’s so intense and truthful.
I love that Hebrew adage she borrowed too!!!😀
I dont get it?
@@comet6740 tears taste salty, it basically means that empaths feel what others feel
But what if I love salt, but am still empathetic?
Absolutely!
When I finally learned that I’m an HSP a few years ago, so much made sense. As much as it still hurts to be like this, it also explains so much and validates the fact that my experiences were/are real. We may we weird but we’re not alone ❤️❤️
So much makes sense. The light bulb came on!
But HSP isn’t a diagnosis, how do you explain that to a friend or potential lover? “ oh I went to my psychologist and I was diagnosed to be a highly sensitive person” lol it sounds funny. I’m the same and I know it’s a symptom of my bipolar which makes much more sense
@@NaaaaYaaaa well, something doesn’t have to be a technical “diagnosis” for you to be able to explain it to a loved one or for them to think it’s valid haha. I can explain it very easily to my loved ones and partner. Obviously most people who are HSPs will have other diagnosed mental health issues. But it’s not only a symptom of mental health issues - it’s a real thing that only about 20% of the world can be defined as. Many people probably don’t even think it’s real to begin with.
@@LWoodworth95 I had problem in my vision, My school medical check up suggested using specs
My report was received by my parents but they ignored, I kept Forcing myself to believe that My eyes are not that poor, cos I feared my parents judgement if i get spectacles that what will they react , also whenevr i tell them i have prblm something they react too excited, hype or in loud voice which cause me to be more panic, also I was afraid i won't be able to win attention of my crush if i got specs, But my crush himself got spectacle prescription and i kept feeling bad for him as if it was happening to me
And it even demotivated me to seek help to get specs for myself, I didn't had guts to speak out abt my poor vision to my parents out of fear of judgement and their hyper reactions and also my siblings might tease me and all
Now after 10 yrs after this incident i finally carried courage to tell parents that i need to wear spectacles, my dad brought specs for me, but my mother was not allowing me to wear them thinking 'GIRLS SHOULD NOT WEAR SPECS, OTHERWISE THEY WON'T GET SOLD IN MARRIAGE MARKET' , I wasn't having guts to wear specs in front of her even if i need it 24 /7, and i was avoiding to wear specs ever again even if it cause me pain
I am now in so stress that i keep sleeping to avoid debate with mummy on specs issue, have appetite issues, got ill out of stress, and am also introverted that i don't share my opinion openly and cry inside amd always sacrifice my likes
Please help me how to get thru this
Even little things in life become suffocating for me, that i don't feel like being alive only, i feel it was good if i never existed
My whole life is deadly struggle😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
"without highly sensitive people, our world would almost certainly be a shade darker." This is a really beautiful speech! So many beautiful insights and touches of humor (HSPs were "Born to be mild" that was cute :) ) Thank you again for this talk.
I’m highly sensitive. I’m a INFJ personality type. I know when someone is lying and I can read people like a book. My intuition is usually spot on.
I'm a INFJ too. Same to all.
Me too, I'm only an INFP :)
Airene Bechayda, you are still quite rare!
Lifiani Langenati, another rare personality. It can be a challenge, but it can be amazing too. We notice things that others don’t. We are more aware of the natural world.
Another one here. INFJ, HSP.. and depression.
This comment section made me feel like am home with people whom we share a lot in common
IKR
never felt tjay
Same
So I decided to stay here forever but idk how 🥺 but I want to stay no matter what, I’m gonna find how!💪
Amen! I felt the same too!
👍👍👍
I'm a man and a HSP with Complex PTSD thank you for opening a door as I analyze everything especially my own mental health. As HSP didnt come with a manual....a grown man crying .........great !! Add that to the list.
relatable :( HSP + PTSD all at once.. i hope you're doing better on your side !
Empaths like us are so blessed but we have to be careful not to surround ourselves with too many negative people, even if our nature is to take care of them. I’ve started taking on everyone’s problems because I can literally feel them! I spend entire days in bed to recover from these draining souls! It’s a lonely life unless you can find your “tribe” and people with similar talents and positive activities. It took me 8 years to reconnect with my love of dance and writing again. I also had to make a conscious decision to eliminate certain people from my life who just sucked the life out of me on a regular basis and would then talk badly about me to others when they were intoxicated. Extremely hurtful until I learned to manage this and be careful who I allowed into my life. 🥰
Living in this world feels like you're being assaulted on a daily basis, it can be so draining. Staying away from people is usually what I need. Nature walks do the trick for me. Social media is not healthy for me, it makes me ill. Somewhere in there is a balance and you just have to find it.
texsangie I agree! Everything is too much, too loud, in your face and obnoxious. Every advert or newspaper headline is desperate to get your attention. You’re bang on about nature healing and grounding you. Mindfulness meditations help me too, I only wish I learned this when I was younger, now, only the people I really love are the only ones who can upset me, random people’s opinion of me is none of my business. I think we ROCK!!
Great advice! If nature walks are not available, a bathroom break to run water over your hands/ splash some on you face is a nice quick rest! Water heals!
Yes I can hike for hours and hours. It so refreshing.
Staying away from toxic people is ok.
Pinning away with them will not make us stronger, it’ll only make us more sick.
When you’re allergic to something, you don’t expose yourself to the allergen. You avoid it.
Social media, that’s our allergen. Hence we avoid it.
I describe that feeling as being "abraded". It feels like my skin and nerves have been rubbed raw.
Someone told me when I was a child that it was a gift to be caring and understanding, but I’ve always thought that was bs, it’s only made me a target of psychotic people and I hated it. I hate how people lie, they will backstab you for materialistic values, manipulate and use you, and even try to hurt you. I had dreams and passion but I felt like I wasn’t cut out for this competitive world. I had many so called friends but I cut them off, moved away from the city to the country side to get away from the negativity. I love being with animals insects and nature, but I feel lonely sometimes that I only have two friends, because I do love spending time with people. It’s been 5 years now I’m healing myself and there’s one thing I’ve learned. Lying, manipulating, backstabbing, calculating, greed, and hate comes from weakness and fear. You need to be a strong person to be loyal, caring, kind, and compassionate. I always thought I was the weak one, but now I know I wasn’t as weak as I thought, in fact I was probably stronger not to loose myself in a world of sickness, driven by fear and weak minded people. I know it’s hard but to my fellow sensitive gentle souls. You have the power to change the world because you are strong. Money and materialistic values cannot rule our souls. The world needs people like that more then ever now!
i needed to hear this. thank you
I love this comment! I feel you. I feel alone most of the time because I feel my family and friends are not as sensitive as me. I expect from them the same amount of care as I give. I felt out of place a lot of times but I’m learning to find happiness on giving without expecting the same back. I always feel different than those around me and now I know why. We got a super power 💪
Absolutely beautiful.
I really feel that, thankyou :)
Hey, I think the word you are looking for is "sociopathic", not psychotic! Psychotic just means you have hallucinations, delusions, paranoia. Sociopaths are people who may intentionally manipulate others because they feel no empathy. (I only say this because I experience psychosis and am trying to challenge the stigma and stereotypes we face every day. It starts with the language we use!)
What a beautifully poetic TED talk. I especially liked when she described this level of sensitivity as “permanent osmosis with everything around you.”
A highly sensitive person being married to a narcissist is a bad combination! Now I understand why... I am so glad I found this TED talk, thank you.
Narcissists see our value better than anyone else…even ourselves. They use it against us, unfortunately, but in a terrible way their targeting of sensitive and empathic people let’s us know we are amazing
Sometimes it sucks to be a sponge for everyone else's emotions.
and at the same time nobody is a sponge for you
Indeed
it does ):
And you just keep taking everything in without even trying to burden others with your own issues...
I agree ... And keep only that what you need. If you don't need what you picked up, let go of it. Release it 🌬️
" we should not try to force sheep into wolves clothing" love this.
It's an incomplete description though: sheep usually are not that smart and follow power. I don't think that's a matching comparison.
Ditto!
@@aronhighgrove4100 Sensitive people are like cats. Do you ever notice just how crazy-sensitive cats are? They take in EVERYTHING in their environment at all times. They pick up on every subtlety, hate chaos, get easily overwhelmed, and jump at unexpected noises (or even just if there's suddenly a *cucumber* behind them for that matter). They provide a gentle comfort to their loved ones that is completely different from the way dogs act. Maybe we should say "don't force a cat into wolves clothing"?
@@aronhighgrove4100 True, with the exception of
Shaun. But the point is still understood.
Me too.
This made me cry. As a child, my dad kept telling me being sensitive was a bad thing and it ruined our relationship 🥲
Is he still around that you can now explain to him it's scientifically proven and genetic? I wish mine was.... :(
I was an alien in my family of five kids, I am the only sensitive one, my parents thought there was something wrong with me, and treated poorly for it.
My God. This was absolutely amazing to come across on a Monday morning in my 41 yrs in this life. A time is coming where ppl are embracing who they authentically are and for that I am grateful. I am a proud HSP!
This made me cry terribly because I felt so understood... I don't feel that often.
Let's be friends. I share your sentiment.
google empath and search different sites. It will give you more insight on being HSP. I felt the same way when I found out that I was not all alone after all.
Elizabeth Yorker me to!!!
Same here
Same 😢❤
I feel there should be a country with HSP only 😭 so that every HSP can live a peaceful and happy life
I want that soooo badly!
YES
Omg yes please
Very good.
I hope there is no angry person.
FRANCE. tbh
I needed to hear this. I’m not an alien, I’m more sensitive and this day onwards this is my oath to myself:
I’ll never be ashamed of who I am.
I overcame all obstacles as hsp. No more insomnia, no more connecting to movies and others to feel them. I'm still able to pick up on details but in different, less disruptive ways. I highly value what I have learned about us as energy beings, able to "read" and connect and disconnect etc. Now I'm thrilled to be highly sensitive and empath and share my abilities with others to help and create more harmonious world 💕
Did you do this with the help of a psychologist or on your own? What helped you?
I am glad she kept our secret handshake secret.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Ha I see what u did there
Same honestly, that's something we defs dont want to let out the bag. (Best part is, they'll all think were joking, whoever reads this...)
Or secret hands holding grip
😉😂
insomnia. yes, because we can’t shut off our brains or stop noticing everything going on around us. i’m glad she mentioned this bc i relate.
Yep. Which fuels a sometimes crippling anxiety. For everything.
You can help yourself with dealing with insomnia if you train things, wich helps to relax your brain and body. Breathing techniques, meditation and such. With them, you can just convince your brain that you are safe and shut down the fight or flight response :) It's even scientificaly checked, that slow exhaling gives your brain a signal that it's safe, so it release hormons which relax your body. When your body is relaxed the brain relax too :) Research it and try yourself, it works
me too
Yup, just a Kasia Ko said, train meditation and stuff like that. It keeps the insomnia away on most of the nights.
I relate too to this part. My brain is always going.
You are describing me and my childhood almost exactly. I was told frequently that I was too sensitive like it was a horrible disease and I need to find a way to rid myself of it. I could feel others' feelings since about age 5. Being the eldest of 4 born to 2 alcoholics , I became the major caregiver to my siblings... always wanting to make them feel better, less anxious or fearful... I took this on myself. I was a survivor of dv and sa and despite all odds, at the age of 31, got my Rn degree. My sensitivity helped me in my career and I especially resonated with Alzheimer's, stroke and comatose patients bc I could sense their needs somehow. I seem to attract narcissists in my relationships that have contributed to my depression and anxiety including cutting ties with some family members to maintain some sense of emotional stability. I have been retired for 10 yrs now and enjoy times when I can be alone. I am especially sensitive to animals and have had many rescues in my lifetime. I do not regret my gift of being different but an error early on in judgment was thinking that people had the same depth of feelings and so therefore I couldn't understand why they were insensitive to me and others. I no longer feel weak or odd and, tho I've been called weird... I am now ok w it.
This lady explains it perfectly!
I also loved chasing butterflies and trapped them in a case when I was a little girl! Then realising my mistake!
As a teenager I always had emotional trauma for days, weeks, or even never getting over some imagery, after watching a horror movie or a gory violent scene in a movie or tv show. I thought I was the only one.
It wasn't until a few years ago that I realized I was an HSP after suffering a sudden panic attack and breakdown at a new job, which was a dark, miserable, controlling, and negative place. I was one of three of which I knew of whom had the same issues. One said she'd go to the toilet and secretly cry in there and come out hiding this fact. The other was signed off with stress. Both were the only ones I properly bonded with. After I left the job, someone said to me that it was because I was feeling real human emotions and I should be thankful that I wasn't a robot, that what I felt was natural. The job left me depressed temporarily, but that was almost the correct response.
Since reading about HSPs after the ordeal, I understand myself more and am happy with myself for not coping with a narcissistic, toxic work environment. I am more aware of my qualities and use them to help myself and others.
As an HSP, it is very frustrating when I have so much empathy for somebody, yet I have absolutely no clue how to express to said person how much I love them/care about them.
Alexander the Great this happens to me alll the time
Yes, me! 😅
It hurts so much too when you give everything you have, and get nothing in return. I endlessly feel like the walking wounded. I promise myself i will just treat them the same way. But i cant. Or i try, then i beat myself with guilt.
Yes! Caring way too much about everyone but you can't express it because you might seem weird!
That’s me!!!
"I can't watch scary or violent movies" So relatable, sensitive people unite!
Cool! Watch science films to see beyond the film maker's understanding and make the world a better place.
I was always the girl screaming at horror movies at sleepovers, lol.
me too! i'd always watch sci-fi movies instead
I can relate to other comments but this. Strange.
Yeah..I always felt a bit left out because all my friends can watch those things completely unfazed
This made me really emotional. I'm a HSP and I feel so unhappy everyday. I overthink before and after sending an email at work. Get overwhelmed by a sudden call from a colleague. I feel like all my life, I'm only trying so hard to become someone else... Someone mentally tougher, easygoing, relaxed, extroverted, assertive and that defines success in STEM fields.
I am one of the HSPs, and I tend to cry everytime I appreciate something or just seem so wonderful to ignore or sometimes seeing people's pain. Society makes it harder for other to express theirselves and often crying is like a taboo. I hope people would acknowlege this reponse when HSPs are in their peaks and understand that crying has its biological function and purpose.
Crying IS such a taboo and I want that to change! Crying is honestly one of the best if nothing the best tools for processing emotions! Cry Guys Unite 2022!!!!!
I'm a deeply sensitive man and I'm proud of it!
I would have to take the word "deeply" out of a description of me, but yes, I too am proud of sensitivity. More men should be, but it's beaten out of them, and that's so sad.
Same here!!
It’s the way to be!
So am I! The first time someone told me that I am very sensitive, I actually didn’t like it... as I saw it as being “weak” - which I am not. Now like the way I am... it’s what has made me be successful in what I did for a living.
@@MsHumble4 I love your story. Now I am strong enough to live without shields, to feel and everything that happens to myself and around me in an all-encompassing way.
i have never related harder to a comment section such as this one. it makes me really happy to know there are so many other people out there in the world like me.
I'm over here liking almost every comment I see :D
I felt exactly the same and actually started crying because I actually felt relieved that there are “other” people like me. I like myself the way I am .
We are here for you
Ha imagine relying on the idea that you are similar to a significant number of people to feel secure
Completely agree.
There are enough tough people in the world. Much love to all my fellow sensitive people.
❤
私の周りにはHSPを理解してくれる人がいなくて辛いです。
やはり、よく「考えすぎ」なんて言われます。
この感性があるから、今の仕事で成功してるし、出世できてる。
必ずしも、私は自分がダメだとは思わない。
でも、理解して貰えないのは、時にはとても苦しく生きづらくなります。
──────
I have a hard time finding people around me who understand HSP.
After all, I am often told that I think too much.
This sensitivity is the reason I'm successful in my current job and I'm able to get ahead.
I don't necessarily think I'm not good enough.
But not being understood is sometimes very painful and hard to live with.
Sometimes I wish I wasn’t Highly Sensitive. I am tired and I only have so much to give.
What she didn’t talk about is that HSP are more often victims of trauma, and wounded healers.
Kristy Mounsey sending you lots of love. It’s not easy being this way and being abused or having a traumatic situation. Know you are loved. Sending you a big hug.
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
Love you kristy
You just need to learn how to ground, center and shield yourself before going out in public.
Yes, sadly there are those in the world that prey on our "weakness". They take advantage of our kindness and caring nature and use it to their advantage.
I am sending you a virtual hug. 🤗🤗🤗 ❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🤍🖤🥰
9:51
"Because they feel every pain they see"
That's so damn true...
I get torn apart by anyone's suffering, even if I never saw them before in my life. 🌻
I always thought everyone was like that- feeling other's pain?
Agree
This is me
Even when it’s a fictional character and I know it’s fictional, it’s still so painful, emotionally and physically
｢違っていい｣と言ってくれる人がいる。
それだけで悩みを一緒に抱えてくれているような気がして、少し心が軽くなりました。
ありがとうございます。
もう少し、頑張れそうです。
I'm Japanese, and my English is not very good, so I rely on a translation machine.
It wasn't until more than 40 years later that I learned that I was actually highly sensitive.
I developed C-PTSD due to years of childhood bullying that led to a change of schools.
My parents harassed me at work and I suffered for half my life.
After 12 years of EMDR treatment with a therapist, I realized that I am a sensitive person, HSP.
I want people to know that there are people like this in Japan.
I've been friends with the pigeons that come to my garden for a while now and post them on youtube.
you're not alone
@@tsushimashuji Thank you, that's encouraging.
You are a kind soul. Thank you for sharing. I am hispanic. It is my birthday. Have a great day.
@@user-jv8oe9gn1s happy bday!
You’re not alone 💓