I absolutely loved your presentation. The content, the pace and the clarity of your speech and ideas. While listening I was thinking if I put a comment would Louise see it? And then I found you! Thank you 🙏🏻
Louise Evans thank you I have just listened to this before work you are a great teacher. I am on a journey myself learning how to do things differently in life and a big one for me is being aware of how I behave and realising I can change that. Thank you x
Arguably one of the finest TED talks one could experience. Louise Evans subtly manages to make us reflect while helping us navigate the complex world of interpersonal communication. Simply outstanding!
I am so grateful to all for you for your feedback. It makes me feel both humble and useful knowing that the Chairs can in some way bring a shift into your lives and contribute to your happiness. Thank you s much for your appreciation Louise xxx
Such a beautiful talk. I would like use this for myself as well as communicate this through film. You are a lady to look up to. I would be honored to meet you come visit Kenya, Africa and watch the giraffes! Will watch this video twice right now, and many times in the future.
Thanks Louise, I have this morning used a stinging judgemental comment on my sister and afterwards as I watched this presentation, I saw how terrible I can be to others. I know I can be a better person and I will work on it. Thanks you so much for impacting my life!
7:01 // The Red Chair - The Jackal: Attack, Misbehave, Blame, Judge. "The more we judge people the less time we have to love them." - Mother Teressa. 9:34 // The Yellow Chair - The Hedgehog: Self-Doubt, Fear, Vulnerable. "The highest form of intelligence is the ability to observe ourselves without judging." - Jiddu Krishnamurti. 11:06 // The Green Chair - The Meerkat: Wait, Patience, Mindful, Pause, Observe. "You have your way. I have my way. The only right way... it does not exist." - Fredrich Nietzche. 12:39 // The Blue Chair - The Dolphin: Detect, Self-Awarness, Powerful but Set Boundaries to Ourselves, Growth, Assertive but not Agressive. "Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom." - Arsitotle. 13:54 // The Purple Chair - The Giraffe: Connect, Vision, Empathy, Tolerant, Understanding, Listen to People. "I don't like that man, I must get to know him better." - Lincoln.
This talk just prevented a major confrontation with a teammate at work. I was planning the 'attack' tomorrow morning at work...but on the way home today (in traffic) I randomly selected this video from all the choices my RUclips page presented. And now...I'm suddenly in 'giraffe' mode. THANK YOU Louise. Tomorrow will be a good day!
Attack - Judgement of others, correct others Self doubt - Judgement of ourselves, play the victim Wait - for evidence, be present, curiosity Detect - My needs, self aware, create boundaries, assertiveness Connect - The others needs, compassion, understanding, empathy
"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." Victor Frankl
But if you vent to a psychiatrist on this as a patient everything you say should be in private. Not to be shared by everyone outside those office visits and triangulated.
1. Attack, misbehave,blame,complian,gossip, punish,judge. 2. vulnerable, judge ourselves, low self esteem, feeling of rejection, self doubt , fear of failing and disappointment, feeling of a victim like no body cares or loves me 3. Being vigilant, being mindfull, observant,we stop, pause, wait and be conscious and WAIT (What Am I Thinking ). Observe the person and wonder why is she behaving in such a way 4. Detect our own behaviour, being self aware, we know who we r, we know what we want, we know where we r going, we r not afraid to speak our truth but we know our boundaries, we r powerfull, here we grow we r free and become our full power,we become assertive but not aggressive. At no1 we lose our power 5. Display of empathy, compassion,understanding, putting our egos in the back seat, listen to people and care for them, embrace other reality, other perspective, other diversity, being tolerant and what is important for the person sitting before us and to stay connected
Oh I wished I would’ve found this earlier, I’ve messed up so many opportunities by overreacting 🙄. I’m definitely learning, thank you, this was extremely helpful.
I literally mess up all my conversations with my girlfriend because of how I am and it makes her feel less in love with me because of my actions and this like really is an eye opener for me on my actions my attitude and how I communicate with her
I watch a lot of TED talks and have to say, this is one of the best presentations I have seen... well thought out, well paced and delivered.... absolutely fantastic. Thank you Louise...
I am a middle school teacher and on Wednesdays I play a video to help the students learn a skill. Sometimes it is a learning skill, organizing skill, and once in a while a life skill. They take notes, rate the presentation and speaker, but also learn something. My eighth graders will watch this on their first Wednesday back to school. Thank you for an insightful presentation.
This is such a good talk: it makes me realise that I've been sitting way too much in the red chair lately, it's time to change... one choice at a time. Thank you so much for enlightening me, this is really a life changing speech.
Thank you all so much for your appreciation of The 5 Chairs. If they can help you in any way with your daily lives they are fulfilling their mission :-)
I just finished watching your TedTalk....changed my life....I am 48 and in the midst of many difficulties as are so many people in the WORLD...this SPOKE TO ME....I feel different...I feel empowered and hopeful. Wow. Brilliant.
How can I connect with you Louis ? Im guilty as charged, I think I'm more on the red chair. I love your analysis and background. Would love to learn more
" everybody is going through something " and " they have their reasons " are my life mottos . Everyone is doing what they do . don't judge - wait and see why they are doing it . I whole heartedly live by this and it makes you live life with little worries and it makes you stop and realize you shouldn't be judging one based on what they look or what they are doing because you don't know why
"I don't like that man, I must get to know him." Many times, I've misjudged others...always happy to learn that I was wrong. Deeply, profound quote! Great video! Thank you for sharing.
The best Ted Talk I've listened to in a very long time. Well thought out and well presented. And very meaningful to me at this moment in my life, when I'm re-thinking a lot about myself, my life, and my relationship with the people around me. Thank you very much indeed Ms Evans.
Awesome talk !!! It reminds me the quote: There are only three things you need let go of Judging, Controlling, and Being right. Release these three and you will have the whole mind and twinkly heart of a child. ~Hugh Prather
As a teacher working on becoming a future principal this video is probably one of the most meaningful videos I have seen. I think as a teacher, we are not just just educators, but leaders, mentors, and facilitators of life. Which chair a teachers sits in can really impact the outcome of student success. Just imagine the impact of the teachers if he or she sits in the red chair all day long?
Girrafe chair.....the giraffe has the biggest heart of all land animals...longest neck so it has incredible vision. In this chair we display empathy, compassion and understanding so in this chair we let go of our ego, we hold people in our presence and we care for them and listen to them, and stepping into somebody else's shoes and understanding them is a great act of generosity. To embrace diversity and to become tolerant.
We often talk about shifting behaviors but Louise's talk helps us to pragmatically feel and do exactly this. Even more so, we learn to stop the stories we tell ourselves which are fabricated in our mind until we open the communication. Great tool: W.A.I.T. - What am I thinking? What am I telling myself? Tweeting, texting and tech are with us forever. How can we be so connected yet so communicative. Louise gives us the answer. Thank you.
I'm deeply moved by your speech. I'm in the process of being more aware of my behavior, thoughts, and communication with myself and others and this talk sparked something in me that I was trying to figure out this whole time. Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart ❤. Thank you for helping me start the new year on the right foot.
Having been raised by my very or should extremely harsh, tough, iron lady African mother as all most African mothers are, I was never given a chance to express myself. I was always told off, never good enough, always comparing me to my peers, it was hard to make Friends who were scared of being my friend because of my mother. Traveled to England for the first time in 2008 on one year placement at a retreat house where the wardens were a wonderful elderly couple. The love and attention i received, these people taught me to love me, encouraged me to use my voice. Alot of that pain and anger was released because of what i received from this couple and people who came to the retreat house. Louise thank you for this talk, i can self evaluate, i know what to let go of and what hold on to. i am watching this like for the fifth time now. Love the idea of chairs, i have been in all those chairs all my life but i must say this is WISDOM. Thank you
My name is Dennis. I also understand how you feel, I was also a victim a toxic parenthood actually from Dad, Nigerian, I was forced to run away (self decision) after a domestic abuse but one thing i learned after leaving was calmness and had the opportunity to express myself and inner giant. I am a creative and found that gift spontaneously ... I now have a good respectful relationship from my dad and found that life is worth staying positive
You are an amazing speaker, Louise! I loved your talk, the concept, the story/ Vignette you used to illustrate the 5 chairs and the way you presented, so clear!
I just was "called out" as having adhd. I have watched your video multiple times. I have sat in every chair. Sometimes all in one day. I thank you for the knowledge and the perspective to see and understand things differently.
I watched this three times today. As I am going through difficult time personally, this message was enlightening and exactly what I needed.. I am red chair person.. i will continue to watch until I memorize the signals of each chairs .
On her brother’s comment... I understand that being in a relationship is important but it’s also important to correct the person in a good way only for good. And can’t we correct the person in a good way and still be in a good relationship? Why do we need to choose between the two?
This has been the most easy and beautifully expressed way of different actions and perceptives of how a person behaves/reacts, be it ourselves or others. Amazing🙌
If we only allowed a tiny bit of our daily spare time to observe and to assess our behaviours and our way to communicate to others, we would dramatically contribute to change this world for the better. The Five Chairs is a stuggering practical tool to make it happen. Thank you Louise!!
I'm proud to honestly say that I favor the green and both blue chairs. 😄 I'm disappointed in the realisation that I act & react in either the red or yellow chair with my husband of 20 years. Honestly I'd have to admit that i spend most of the time in both red and yellow chairs when remembering past events, talking to, thinking of and reacting to my husband. This talk has been an eye opener. Much gratitude Louise.
If we all learned this at school when kids, it would have saved us from so many heartbreaks, heartaches, misstakes, lesson learned and helped us to connect and learn about each others. I wish I knew this long time ago. But I will always go back and watch this. Thank you!! this was amazing and one of the top ted talks so far. I get teared up....I wish I could turn back time.
She deserved that standing ovation. That was amazing! So many of the issues I've been having with myself and my family suddenly became clearer. I'm going to have to set aside some time and sit down with these chairs, see how best they can help me in changing my life.
This, by far is the best TED talk OF ALL TIME! I stumbled on it, and never left. It was carefully thought of, to the latter with IMPECCABLE delivery. It deserved every resounding palms hitting against each other at the end. Thank you!
Thank you Louise! You have very successfully, condensed all the self-help books into 20 minutes! I cannot thank you enough. You have changed my life, and many others, as these comments will attest. This is one reason the TED talks are so powerful. Brilliant people sharing wonderful ideas in 20 minutes. God bless you Louise take care and be safe.❤️❤️❤️
Brilliant. As someone who's rushed through life, always in a hurry and often feeling like a "victim" of having too much on my plate, it's a gift to be able to pause. Think. Detect and perhaps act out of intention rather than impulse. This life is a journey and even someone like me, decades in, can learn new behaviours. I recently learned that I very much run off a script in my head that has been programmed over the years, but can be rewritten. Thank you for this. You are wonderful.
Honestly, this is an eye opener for me. I've spent most of my time being a jackal to attack, judge and later on have self doubt. Thank you Louise Evans
I was just on the verge of a breakdown. My Masters year isn't going so well and life is shit around me. Now i have some tools to make things close to me better. Thank you so much Louise Evans!
This just changed the entire course of my Thought Life, and I realize it has the power to change my Entire Life! “Do you want to be in a relationship with your mother, (insert any name) or do you want to be right?” Thank you!!!!!
thank You so Much for This Louise! your talk opened up my mind to an entirely new perspective on how to react to people and situations. things can be a lot less complicated if only we take a moment outside of ourselves to react in a non offensive way. I'm quick to anger, sometimes overly irritable so I know I need the 5 chairs in my life! God bless you for this!
I'm so glad you feel this can be helpful for you Yvonne. I also used to be very quick to react but as you say it only takes a moment of awareness and we can change the destiny of any situation or conversation :-))
Louise Evans yygjbdnbfbrjrnfwksnndfmfkrmmrfkjckdkfmnchejcjehejakjfkfkfmfmfmfmfmfmfmmffmmfmfmfmfmfmfmfmmfkgkglmmgmgmmgmgkgkgkmgkgkgkgkkgmgmmmmmntnfnnngnfnnkkgkgkgkkgkgkgktktktkkujebbnfnfjfjfjrjjfksjsndnndjdjjrjrjjrrjrje
Dear Louise, after watching this video for twice , I am sure that you are my favourite teacher. I am very glad to see you and hear your powerful and lovely voice. I live with my mother who is similar with yours. Actually I have very hard days with my mother. I am going to take your 5 chairs and i will try to solve my problems. Thanks you so much for your great talk. May God Bless You!
For anyone who's wondering, the 4th blue (dolphin) quote is from Aristotle "Knowing yourself is the beginning of wisdom" 🙏 thank you Ms Louise Evans, life changing speech
It was incredible, Louise! You've gethered so much wisdom to share with everyone! And every word you say is so meaningful. I'll rewatch it over and over again, not to miss a single word. Thank you so much!
There’s just something so much more attention-keeping about a classy British lady giving a Talk. Like it is one’s Mom or a Teacher. This was awesome. I need more of this because I’ve spent too long in the red chair.
I think this is the most valuable 18mins in my life really. You see I’m having struggle communicating with people these day, and it got so much worse each day that I think I’m suffering from depression. I have insomnia (which i never had before) caused by the worries of why ppl hate me so much or why they just can’t get it. I even feel suffocate in my own house. But your sharing I think will help me so much and I’ll try to change in this way. I’ll come back and write the results. Thanks alot teacher!
Dear Louise, At a low and vulnerable time in my life I reached out to You Tube to find strength. I found that I was interested in the Tedx talks for building up my self esteem! The Five Chairs jumped out at me and I continue to keep learning from your talk. Your audience captivatided me as well because I could see from the vedio that they could feel the encouragement too. I am a spiritual person as well. I am in the habit of reading and appling scripture to my day as well. When I was consoled with Proverbios 30:24-33, I was moved to thank you for the confidence and healing that your talk coupled with belief in a Grand Creator and Designer has done for me! Please keep helping humanity! Very truly yours, Tarisa May Karr
This is amazing - self-awareness chairs. I’m always working to be less scathing, less judging, less aggressive. I know it is deeply embedded due to my upbringing, but putting self-awareness into practice I have always struggled with due to being very compulsive. I have listened to all the ted talks on self-awareness and related topics, but this is the most compassionate visualization I have ever seen. Brava, Louise Evans✨
Wow it's so amazing as I have found a solution to most of my problems, I am quick to attach instead of connecting.....thank you so much for this wonderful teaching ❤
That was an amazing talk, Louise! Thank you. We met in London at a WorldWork conference in 2012 and you talked to us about the 5 chair NVC tool then - and then 5 years later you showed that you've obviously learnt so much more - so it's a powerful tool. Bravo!
I would say, which chair YOU decide to be dominant. We all have those chairs, but do you decide to be angry, to be doubtful or sad, or you could be a Giraffa if you want to ;)
Your philosophy derived from years of training and learning on both professional and personal levels is beautifully reflected in your book and through this presentation. Thank you for sharing and inspiring us with a mindful and at the same time practical guide. It is a guide for all time and for any place.
Every time I have a meeting, interview, or presentation, I go here, and I watch or read the book 5 chairs 5 choices.. who does the same ? Since 6 years ! Thank you, Louise 😊❤
Great talk, responsibility for one self and life. That's the power. The teachings I've been following for over two years now brings exactly that, inner strengh and power.
O my god.....her voice is so soothing and easy to get understood ........every word I understood without getting to use the subtitles which usually in other English videos I do when it's the peak of my understanding gets blurry .....................
I loved this TED Talk! I have had a few challenging days with my first Christmas in 23 years without my two sons. I am embracing their time to travel together which is what I wanted for them! But then some additional family dynamics appeared in my life. So tonight - feeling alone - I googled Ted Talks "chaos" which is how I found this one. I don't consider the life I live and lead to be chaotic but I allow a certain personality into my life that causes undue chaos (because I think I can "help" that person) and this talk was exactly what I needed. I retreat into nature when I feel "attacked" or "sad" but I also go on runs for joy and happiness! I love the chairs. The colors. The association with the animals. As a visual person, it will help me to remember! All of the quotes are from my people I like to quote! This is one of my all time favorite Ted Talks! I will share this talk often! And I will watch it over and over again! Thank you so very much!
watched it now on youtube, the moment it ended - i clapped loved everthing that she said. and have made a note of all that she said, in my little book.
This ted talk just answered the question I couldn’t figure out for myself or listen to from other people that have constantly been telling me, specially my partner. I can put this to work to improve my relationship with my partner as I’ve been needing to get out of the self-doubt and attack chair for a very long time. Wait and Connect are my goals
Dear Louise! I can't explain with words how you have touched my life today with your words, your charisma and your whisdom during the course with my workmates. It's been a great honor to meet you. Thank you trom the heart 💕
I'm feeling goosebumps because this talk resonates to me so much. I felt vulnerable while listening to this talk because it feels like it is exposing some of my inner conflicts that I didn't even realize I havem
Unique presentation! Unique method! Thank you, Louise! I was extremely impressed! Your work is invaluable! I believe that you have changed many people along the way! I also believe that people learn all their lives and change for the better! Good luck!
Thank you all so much for your appreciative comments. It really warms my heart deeply.
Louise Evans .....So beautifully explained. You are one of the most articulate teachers I have ever listened to!
The colors match exactly the chakras philosphy... blue:expression,words , yellow: self-esteem, etc... wonderful...
I absolutely loved your presentation. The content, the pace and the clarity of your speech and ideas. While listening I was thinking if I put a comment would Louise see it? And then I found you! Thank you 🙏🏻
Louise Evans thank you I have just listened to this before work you are a great teacher. I am on a journey myself learning how to do things differently in life and a big one for me is being aware of how I behave and realising I can change that. Thank you x
You're quite unique. Every TED Talk is great. But there is something particularly ingenious about yours. I will study this talk and teach it someday.
"Do you want to be in a relationship with that person or do you want to be right?", very powerful question!
@@wingit7335 well her mom was not does people.
You are gonna regret that
@@wingit7335 her mom exaggerating is not a big deal
I know, right!! Well put. 👍😃
I want to be right. I have self love which is doing the right thing despite how hard it is.
“The more we judge others the less time we have to love them..” brilliant
Lol said comment!!
I believe Mother Theresa said thatxoxo
"The more we judge others the safer we are".
Why would I want to love someone I judge to be unlovable?
Arguably one of the finest TED talks one could experience. Louise Evans subtly manages to make us reflect while helping us navigate the complex world of interpersonal communication. Simply outstanding!
Thank you for your amazing in saying very interesting
👌👌👌👌
True
Subtle world of lack of any communication and not knowing own children...
I am so grateful to all for you for your feedback. It makes me feel both humble and useful knowing that the Chairs can in some way bring a shift into your lives and contribute to your happiness. Thank you s much for your appreciation Louise xxx
Such a beautiful talk. I would like use this for myself as well as communicate this through film. You are a lady to look up to. I would be honored to meet you come visit Kenya, Africa and watch the giraffes! Will watch this video twice right now, and many times in the future.
@louise do you have books?
Thanks Louise, I have this morning used a stinging judgemental comment on my sister and afterwards as I watched this presentation, I saw how terrible I can be to others. I know I can be a better person and I will work on it. Thanks you so much for impacting my life!
I wish I had your chairs with me at all times.
Thank you for sharing this! You have made something which seems so complicated crystal clear. I'm really moved and touched by what you said.Thank you!
7:01 // The Red Chair - The Jackal: Attack, Misbehave, Blame, Judge.
"The more we judge people the less time we have to love them." - Mother Teressa.
9:34 // The Yellow Chair - The Hedgehog: Self-Doubt, Fear, Vulnerable.
"The highest form of intelligence is the ability to observe ourselves without judging." - Jiddu Krishnamurti.
11:06 // The Green Chair - The Meerkat: Wait, Patience, Mindful, Pause, Observe.
"You have your way. I have my way. The only right way... it does not exist." - Fredrich Nietzche.
12:39 // The Blue Chair - The Dolphin: Detect, Self-Awarness, Powerful but Set Boundaries to Ourselves, Growth, Assertive but not Agressive.
"Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom." - Arsitotle.
13:54 // The Purple Chair - The Giraffe: Connect, Vision, Empathy, Tolerant, Understanding, Listen to People.
"I don't like that man, I must get to know him better." - Lincoln.
👍
Saved
Wonderful thought
That is exactly the summary I wished the talk had. Thank you kindly.
À
This talk just prevented a major confrontation with a teammate at work. I was planning the 'attack' tomorrow morning at work...but on the way home today (in traffic) I randomly selected this video from all the choices my RUclips page presented. And now...I'm suddenly in 'giraffe' mode. THANK YOU Louise.
Tomorrow will be a good day!
So happy it helped you xx
Joyousj 🤣🤣🤣
How was your day in the end, my friend? Did it went well?
Aleksandar I would like to know as well
me too 🤭
Attack - Judgement of others, correct others
Self doubt - Judgement of ourselves, play the victim
Wait - for evidence, be present, curiosity
Detect - My needs, self aware, create boundaries, assertiveness
Connect - The others needs, compassion, understanding, empathy
Thank you so much!
Very well summarized! 👍
"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." Victor Frankl
👍
👍
That's merely a few seconds to choose the right response. Sometimes it's people pleasing and not being yourself..
One question
@@juveriasweet5354 yeah, it really takes practice to set the boundary, and respond in way that being ture to self and not not offend others
The highest form of intelligence is the ability to observe ourselves without judging
Exactly. The mind is a terrible thing to listen to.
But if you vent to a psychiatrist on this as a patient everything you say should be in private. Not to be shared by everyone outside those office visits and triangulated.
Nope 👎. The highest form of intelligence is to be able to get in the head of other people. Especially across age ranges ...
Jiddu K
Judgement is good.Judgement helps you choose right from wrong.Overjudgement may be too much.not in my opinion.
1. Attack, misbehave,blame,complian,gossip, punish,judge.
2. vulnerable, judge ourselves, low self esteem, feeling of rejection, self doubt , fear of failing and disappointment, feeling of a victim like no body cares or loves me
3. Being vigilant, being mindfull, observant,we stop, pause, wait and be conscious and WAIT (What Am I Thinking ). Observe the person and wonder why is she behaving in such a way
4. Detect our own behaviour, being self aware, we know who we r, we know what we want, we know where we r going, we r not afraid to speak our truth but we know our boundaries, we r powerfull, here we grow we r free and become our full power,we become assertive but not aggressive. At no1 we lose our power
5. Display of empathy, compassion,understanding, putting our egos in the back seat, listen to people and care for them, embrace other reality,
other perspective, other diversity, being tolerant and what is important for the person sitting before us and to stay connected
SARTHAK MOHAPATRA Thank you for the summary
Oh! No. I'm a no. 1.
Thank you! :)
Thnx it ll hlp me alot
So what chair should we choose correctly ?
Oh I wished I would’ve found this earlier, I’ve messed up so many opportunities by overreacting 🙄. I’m definitely learning, thank you, this was extremely helpful.
I literally mess up all my conversations with my girlfriend because of how I am and it makes her feel less in love with me because of my actions and this like really is an eye opener for me on my actions my attitude and how I communicate with her
You and me both. There’s another TED talk about how we are not at the mercy of our emotions. It helped me, it might help you too
I've been a victim too and it really affected my relationship. I hope I'll be better in my next relationship
I watch a lot of TED talks and have to say, this is one of the best presentations I have seen... well thought out, well paced and delivered.... absolutely fantastic. Thank you Louise...
I completely agree :)
I knew someone shared my sentiments. Bravo Louise.
MFGuitarStuff
Couldn't agree more!
MFGuitarStuff completely echo wit u...!
Thanks to the easy and clear introduction
One of the most brilliant talks I've seen on TED
true
I have listened countless times
Listen "own your face" too. Amazing
Sisterwives
Absolutely
I am a middle school teacher and on Wednesdays I play a video to help the students learn a skill. Sometimes it is a learning skill, organizing skill, and once in a while a life skill. They take notes, rate the presentation and speaker, but also learn something. My eighth graders will watch this on their first Wednesday back to school. Thank you for an insightful presentation.
Dear everyone who reads this, we don't know each other but I wish you all the best in life and happiness :) ❤️
Wish you the same dear!
Thank you so much.....
@@rhythmforlife7058 you are welcome
Same to you💖
Your a beautiful soul
This is such a good talk: it makes me realise that I've been sitting way too much in the red chair lately, it's time to change... one choice at a time. Thank you so much for enlightening me, this is really a life changing speech.
I hope you're not at the red chair anymore
Thank you all so much for your appreciative comments. It really warms my heart deeply.
Lula
Very powerful
Hi beautiful. HiI would loves us to be friends and also love to know more about you...what do you say?
Thank you all so much for your appreciation of The 5 Chairs. If they can help you in any way with your daily lives they are fulfilling their mission :-)
You did absolutely great in the explanation loved it
I just finished watching your TedTalk....changed my life....I am 48 and in the midst of many difficulties as are so many people in the WORLD...this SPOKE TO ME....I feel different...I feel empowered and hopeful. Wow. Brilliant.
honestly this was more informative, practical and life-changing than graduate school in Psychology :)
How can I connect with you Louis ? Im guilty as charged, I think I'm more on the red chair. I love your analysis and background. Would love to learn more
Thank you Louise. I have shared this link with many friends already. 🌻🌻
" everybody is going through something " and " they have their reasons " are my life mottos . Everyone is doing what they do . don't judge - wait and see why they are doing it . I whole heartedly live by this and it makes you live life with little worries and it makes you stop and realize you shouldn't be judging one based on what they look or what they are doing because you don't know why
Hello Julie how are you doing today i hope everything is fine with you?
Should we talk about how this Lady is beautiful and elegant!.
Love this about her so much!!
I thought no one was going to mention that. She is elegant, composed and has such a beautiful spirit. She exudes love.
Muy Bonita,
Class!
I wanna be like her when I grow old!
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”
AMEN🙏🏻
Lol knowing God as well.....!!
Knowing God is the beginning of wisdom
Fear of the Lord is the Beginning of Wisdom
So. True.
Who is watching this 5/2020 we need this more than ever today.
I have been watching this video since 2017, when situations around me make aggressive. Yes, you are right we need this more than every now and then
Me, watching NOW! 😊
Here
Thought provoking
RenStar Hurst 🙋🏾♀️
"I don't like that man, I must get to know him." Many times, I've misjudged others...always happy to learn that I was wrong. Deeply, profound quote! Great video! Thank you for sharing.
Thank you all so much for your appreciative comments
Really Magical and life changing words.hats off to you
Great mam.
The best Ted Talk I've listened to in a very long time. Well thought out and well presented. And very meaningful to me at this moment in my life, when I'm re-thinking a lot about myself, my life, and my relationship with the people around me. Thank you very much indeed Ms Evans.
Louise Evans
Thanks so much Louise. You've made my night
Louise Evans -that’s something I’m gonna remember all my life. Thank you ❤️
Awesome talk !!! It reminds me the quote: There are only three things you need let go of Judging, Controlling, and Being right. Release these three and you will have the whole mind and twinkly heart of a child. ~Hugh Prather
I love that quote Oyun. Thanks
Perfect! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Exceptional video x
@@louiseevans4882 you are the best teacher !! i studay english today.very uesfull. tank you very much
Thank you for the beautiful words.
her voice is so goddamn calming and this TED talk is so important
As a teacher working on becoming a future principal this video is probably one of the most meaningful videos I have seen. I think as a teacher, we are not just just educators, but leaders, mentors, and facilitators of life. Which chair a teachers sits in can really impact the outcome of student success. Just imagine the impact of the teachers if he or she sits in the red chair all day long?
💯 Agreed
This just made me a better person and helped me recognize where I sit most of the time...I'll be changing seats now lol
Been playing musical chairs with myself for years now how can i just sit in 1 ?
Me too lol
Hahahahaha
One of my favorite Ted talk :)
I always keep on re-watching this whenever I feel like I'm losing mindful self and I'm drowning in my emotions.
💪🏻💪🏻🌻💚
"Stepping into someone's else shoes and understand them is a great act of generosity"❤️
AMEN🙏🏻AMEN🙏🏻AMEN🙏🏻
12:34 : it shows how even if we have a slip of tongue, if we continue with flow without getting anxious about it, we can go on with our work
Girrafe chair.....the giraffe has the biggest heart of all land animals...longest neck so it has incredible vision. In this chair we display empathy, compassion and understanding so in this chair we let go of our ego, we hold people in our presence and we care for them and listen to them, and stepping into somebody else's shoes and understanding them is a great act of generosity. To embrace diversity and to become tolerant.
Three horns don't play with long necks
We often talk about shifting behaviors but Louise's talk helps us to pragmatically feel and do exactly this. Even more so, we learn to stop the stories we tell ourselves which are fabricated in our mind until we open the communication. Great tool: W.A.I.T. - What am I thinking? What am I telling myself?
Tweeting, texting and tech are with us forever. How can we be so connected yet so communicative. Louise gives us the answer. Thank you.
Maureen Rabotin is
How are you doing today my name is Eric Moore
Eloquent , articulate and intellectual... what a woman! One of the most inspiring ted talks I’ve seen
I'm deeply moved by your speech. I'm in the process of being more aware of my behavior, thoughts, and communication with myself and others and this talk sparked something in me that I was trying to figure out this whole time. Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart ❤. Thank you for helping me start the new year on the right foot.
Please do add your left foot so you can stand balance
@@stanleyatalakpa9995 😂😂😂
I love her voice and intonation! She'd be great to be a voice-over artist 😀
Having been raised by my very or should extremely harsh, tough, iron lady African mother as all most African mothers are, I was never given a chance to express myself. I was always told off, never good enough, always comparing me to my peers, it was hard to make Friends who were scared of being my friend because of my mother. Traveled to England for the first time in 2008 on one year placement at a retreat house where the wardens were a wonderful elderly couple. The love and attention i received, these people taught me to love me, encouraged me to use my voice. Alot of that pain and anger was released because of what i received from this couple and people who came to the retreat house. Louise thank you for this talk, i can self evaluate, i know what to let go of and what hold on to. i am watching this like for the fifth time now. Love the idea of chairs, i have been in all those chairs all my life but i must say this is WISDOM. Thank you
African parents can really be toxic
My name is Dennis. I also understand how you feel, I was also a victim a toxic parenthood actually from Dad, Nigerian, I was forced to run away (self decision) after a domestic abuse but one thing i learned after leaving was calmness and had the opportunity to express myself and inner giant. I am a creative and found that gift spontaneously ... I now have a good respectful relationship from my dad and found that life is worth staying positive
💓
This is inspiring to read, thank you for sharing, I hope you're well
@@anja1789 thank you. i am well
You are an amazing speaker, Louise! I loved your talk, the concept, the story/ Vignette you used to illustrate the 5 chairs and the way you presented, so clear!
So very glad. Thanks Christa
+Louise Evans One of the best Ted talks I've seen, too bad the people that really need it won't see it..
👍
Christa Schreiber glad it made sense to you. It takes all kinds of teachers.
Arianna Kamal k
I just was "called out" as having adhd. I have watched your video multiple times. I have sat in every chair. Sometimes all in one day. I thank you for the knowledge and the perspective to see and understand things differently.
Me too… In one day 😳
I watched this three times today. As I am going through difficult time personally, this message was enlightening and exactly what I needed.. I am red chair person.. i will continue to watch until I memorize the signals of each chairs .
Great talk, and I must say the brother's comment "do you want to be in a relationship with her or to be right", struck very deeply and to the point.
On her brother’s comment... I understand that being in a relationship is important but it’s also important to correct the person in a good way only for good. And can’t we correct the person in a good way and still be in a good relationship? Why do we need to choose between the two?
i absolutely ADORE this ted talk
I agree. She has great points and story.
me too love Louise Evans
Wow, love this!!’ 🦋
5 chairs and change ♥️
❤
Relachiiiiii
This has been the most easy and beautifully expressed way of different actions and perceptives of how a person behaves/reacts, be it ourselves or others. Amazing🙌
If we only allowed a tiny bit of our daily spare time to observe and to assess our behaviours and our way to communicate to others, we would dramatically contribute to change this world for the better.
The Five Chairs is a stuggering practical tool to make it happen.
Thank you Louise!!
You are so right Matteo....even just one behaviour a day :-)9
I'm proud to honestly say that I favor the green and both blue chairs. 😄
I'm disappointed in the realisation that I act & react in either the red or yellow chair with my husband of 20 years. Honestly I'd have to admit that i spend most of the time in both red and yellow chairs when remembering past events, talking to, thinking of and reacting to my husband.
This talk has been an eye opener. Much gratitude Louise.
Matteo Baronti Becky. A. Bailey's book called Easy to Love difficult to Discipline is a great parenting book.. Must read for all..
Definitely one of my favorite TED Talks. Louise's presence is so calming. I could listen to her all day!
Yup it is a
80% of your success is linked to how you communicate.
I shout myself to the top!
If we all learned this at school when kids, it would have saved us from so many heartbreaks, heartaches, misstakes, lesson learned and helped us to connect and learn about each others. I wish I knew this long time ago. But I will always go back and watch this. Thank you!! this was amazing and one of the top ted talks so far. I get teared up....I wish I could turn back time.
Its never too late
She deserved that standing ovation. That was amazing! So many of the issues I've been having with myself and my family suddenly became clearer. I'm going to have to set aside some time and sit down with these chairs, see how best they can help me in changing my life.
Love the idea of you 'sitting' with the chairs to get clarity ;-)) I've written a book called 5 chairs 5 choices (Amazon). That might help !
Thanks for replying! I will check it out!
f2fc😈😈😈😈😈😡😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😈😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😆😊😆😅😊☺☺☺☺☺☺☺😆😆😆😀😁😉😄😃😇'
This was the Ted talk I absolutely needed.
I have been a jackal most of my life.
I really want to change
Believe in yourself and work on yourself. I'm on the same path. Good luck. 🙌
Very honest - you’re doing very well when you can identify yourself like this!
This, by far is the best TED talk OF ALL TIME! I stumbled on it, and never left. It was carefully thought of, to the latter with IMPECCABLE delivery. It deserved every resounding palms hitting against each other at the end. Thank you!
This video changed my life, it changed my entire outlook on life, specially about wanting to be right or wanting to keep a relationship.
Thank you Louise! You have very successfully, condensed all the self-help books into 20 minutes! I cannot thank you enough. You have changed my life, and many others, as these comments will attest. This is one reason the TED talks are so powerful. Brilliant people sharing wonderful ideas in 20 minutes. God bless you Louise take care and be safe.❤️❤️❤️
Brilliant. As someone who's rushed through life, always in a hurry and often feeling like a "victim" of having too much on my plate, it's a gift to be able to pause. Think. Detect and perhaps act out of intention rather than impulse. This life is a journey and even someone like me, decades in, can learn new behaviours. I recently learned that I very much run off a script in my head that has been programmed over the years, but can be rewritten. Thank you for this. You are wonderful.
Please more talks from Louise Evans. I love this!
Honestly, this is an eye opener for me. I've spent most of my time being a jackal to attack, judge and later on have self doubt. Thank you Louise Evans
This is one of the most enlightening speech I have ever heard! Thank you!
Hello how are you doing, my name is Eric Moore how is the weather over there toda
Such a timely talk for me. Yesterday I wrote, “I will be better”today, I am watching this. Thank you Louise. I will definitely be using all of these
I was just on the verge of a breakdown. My Masters year isn't going so well and life is shit around me. Now i have some tools to make things close to me better. Thank you so much Louise Evans!
Your comment made me feel so grateful Vesh. I really hope the Chairs help you come into a better place in you life....a place you deserve :-))
This just changed the entire course of my
Thought Life,
and I realize it has the power to change my
Entire Life!
“Do you want to be in a relationship with your mother, (insert any name) or do you want to be right?”
Thank you!!!!!
thank You so Much for This Louise! your talk opened up my mind to an entirely new perspective on how to react to people and situations. things can be a lot less complicated if only we take a moment outside of ourselves to react in a non offensive way. I'm quick to anger, sometimes overly irritable so I know I need the 5 chairs in my life! God bless you for this!
Go grab the book on Amazon - worth the read.
I'm so glad you feel this can be helpful for you Yvonne. I also used to be very quick to react but as you say it only takes a moment of awareness and we can change the destiny of any situation or conversation :-))
Louise Evans yygjbdnbfbrjrnfwksnndfmfkrmmrfkjckdkfmnchejcjehejakjfkfkfmfmfmfmfmfmfmmffmmfmfmfmfmfmfmfmmfkgkglmmgmgmmgmgkgkgkmgkgkgkgkkgmgmmmmmntnfnnngnfnnkkgkgkgkkgkgkgktktktkkujebbnfnfjfjfjrjjfksjsndnndjdjjrjrjjrrjrje
Thankyou Louise loved ur talk!!
.
One of the best books - Nonviolent communication. It has helped me. It's like a potion on how to live in this social life.
Hello how are you doing, my name is Eric Moore how is the weather over there today
This was one of the best ted talks I’ve ever seen. Exceptionally articulate, well informed, and eye opening.
Making myself, my home, work, world better one chair at a one.
Hope many people watch and get a very fruitful benefits of your talk. A very big thanks Louise
Dear Louise, after watching this video for twice , I am sure that you are my favourite teacher. I am very glad to see you and hear your powerful and lovely voice. I live with my mother who is similar with yours. Actually I have very hard days with my mother. I am going to take your 5 chairs and i will try to solve my problems. Thanks you so much for your great talk. May God Bless You!
For anyone who's wondering, the 4th blue (dolphin) quote is from Aristotle "Knowing yourself is the beginning of wisdom" 🙏 thank you Ms Louise Evans, life changing speech
It was incredible, Louise! You've gethered so much wisdom to share with everyone! And every word you say is so meaningful. I'll rewatch it over and over again, not to miss a single word. Thank you so much!
I love this ted talk. She speaks with grace and shows how intelligent and thoughtful she is.
How are you doing today my name is Eric Moore
There’s just something so much more attention-keeping about a classy British lady giving a Talk. Like it is one’s Mom or a Teacher. This was awesome. I need more of this because I’ve spent too long in the red chair.
I think this is the most valuable 18mins in my life really. You see I’m having struggle communicating with people these day, and it got so much worse each day that I think I’m suffering from depression. I have insomnia (which i never had before) caused by the worries of why ppl hate me so much or why they just can’t get it. I even feel suffocate in my own house. But your sharing I think will help me so much and I’ll try to change in this way. I’ll come back and write the results. Thanks alot teacher!
Same here... Exactly what you say...
"we listen to people, we hold people in our present" - beautiful words, thank you Louise !
"This power we always have: to choose our attitude in any given set of circumstances." Very engaging talk! Wonderful and insightful!
Thank you. So glad you enjoyed it
Thank you so much.
Louise Evans awesome thank you ! The great lesson in the right time ! God bless you
How are you doing today my name is Eric Moore
Dear Louise,
At a low and vulnerable time in my life I reached out to You Tube to find strength.
I found that I was interested in the Tedx talks for building up my self esteem! The Five Chairs jumped out at me and I continue to keep learning from your talk.
Your audience captivatided me as well because I could see from the vedio that they could feel the encouragement too.
I am a spiritual person as well. I am in the habit of reading and appling scripture to my day as well.
When I was consoled with Proverbios 30:24-33, I was moved to thank you for the confidence and healing that your talk coupled with belief in a Grand Creator and Designer has done for me!
Please keep helping humanity!
Very truly yours,
Tarisa May Karr
AMEN🙏🏻
Sincere. Believable. Doable. No Jargon. Wonderful quotes from real leaders. Grateful.
This is amazing - self-awareness chairs. I’m always working to be less scathing, less judging, less aggressive. I know it is deeply embedded due to my upbringing, but putting self-awareness into practice I have always struggled with due to being very compulsive. I have listened to all the ted talks on self-awareness and related topics, but this is the most compassionate visualization I have ever seen. Brava, Louise Evans✨
How are you doing today my name is Eric Moore
you explained human behaviors using creative way. what a out of the box thinking. I really appreciate your views on how to connect with people.
Excellent presentation! She's found a way to explain many perspectives in the most creative way possible.
Wow it's so amazing as I have found a solution to most of my problems, I am quick to attach instead of connecting.....thank you so much for this wonderful teaching ❤
That was an amazing talk, Louise! Thank you.
We met in London at a WorldWork conference in 2012 and you talked to us about the 5 chair NVC tool then - and then 5 years later you showed that you've obviously learnt so much more - so it's a powerful tool. Bravo!
One of the most brilliant talks I've seen on TED
Who is watching 6/2020.
This is so inspiring
It has spoken directly to me
We all need to carry the 5 chairs along
Listening in July now, brilliant women!
I completely agree! This touched me to the core!
@@loribrejcha4676 listening in
April 2021
4/2021 here
Wow profound. Thank you for highlighting my 5 chairs.
I think a person is a combination of different chairs..what matters is which chair is dominant !!
sonali bhat
You're right. I like your answer.
"Hello Patricia"
well said sir.
I would say, which chair YOU decide to be dominant. We all have those chairs, but do you decide to be angry, to be doubtful or sad, or you could be a Giraffa if you want to ;)
that makes a lot of sense
The more we judge people; the less we have time to love them.
Love this statement.
Your philosophy derived from years of training and learning on both professional and personal levels is beautifully reflected in your book and through this presentation. Thank you for sharing and inspiring us with a mindful and at the same time practical guide. It is a guide for all time and for any place.
Hello how are you doing, my name is Eric Moore how is the weather over there today
I love the way all this is in a chronological order and we get to learn alot from this.
Thank you for this. How I wish I had seen such a clear and edifying presentation before getting old. Still time to act.
Bravo! It's never too late. I wish you success xx
sheils....your comment touched my heart somehow
Every time I have a meeting, interview, or presentation, I go here, and I watch or read the book 5 chairs 5 choices.. who does the same ? Since 6 years ! Thank you, Louise 😊❤
I've spent my entire life sitting in the wrong chair! Thank you for this presentation!
One of the best ted talks I have heard
Just makes us aware of the impact we have on others. And how we can improve relationships often
Great talk, responsibility for one self and life. That's the power. The teachings I've been following for over two years now brings exactly that, inner strengh and power.
So true Aprameya. Thanks
Thank you for your reply Louise. :)
O my god.....her voice is so soothing and easy to get understood ........every word I understood without getting to use the subtitles which usually in other English videos I do when it's the peak of my understanding gets blurry .....................
So spot on! and yes, i like how she speaks. gentle yet powerful!
I loved this TED Talk! I have had a few challenging days with my first Christmas in 23 years without my two sons. I am embracing their time to travel together which is what I wanted for them! But then some additional family dynamics appeared in my life. So tonight - feeling alone - I googled Ted Talks "chaos" which is how I found this one. I don't consider the life I live and lead to be chaotic but I allow a certain personality into my life that causes undue chaos (because I think I can "help" that person) and this talk was exactly what I needed. I retreat into nature when I feel "attacked" or "sad" but I also go on runs for joy and happiness! I love the chairs. The colors. The association with the animals. As a visual person, it will help me to remember! All of the quotes are from my people I like to quote! This is one of my all time favorite Ted Talks! I will share this talk often! And I will watch it over and over again! Thank you so very much!
Hello how are you doing, my name is Eric Moore how is the weather over there today
watched it now on youtube,
the moment it ended - i clapped
loved everthing that she said.
and have made a note of all that she said, in my little book.
I would be standing .. I am blessed and appreciating the gift I gained.. thank you for the energy .
This ted talk just answered the question I couldn’t figure out for myself or listen to from other people that have constantly been telling me, specially my partner.
I can put this to work to improve my relationship with my partner as I’ve been needing to get out of the self-doubt and attack chair for a very long time.
Wait and Connect are my goals
Update?
Dear Louise! I can't explain with words how you have touched my life today with your words, your charisma and your whisdom during the course with my workmates. It's been a great honor to meet you.
Thank you trom the heart 💕
I'm feeling goosebumps because this talk resonates to me so much. I felt vulnerable while listening to this talk because it feels like it is exposing some of my inner conflicts that I didn't even realize I havem
Never too late 5 years later, thank you for the beautiful words of wisdom indeed one behaviour at a time.
Unique presentation! Unique method! Thank you, Louise! I was extremely impressed! Your work is invaluable! I believe that you have changed many people along the way! I also believe that people learn all their lives and change for the better! Good luck!