It's like indigenous wisdom. They might not share their knowledge through quantitative data, but the things they have passed down for generations are just as rich in truths and insight about the world
Romantic relationships are not a beautiful thing. Romance causes a lot of problems in this world. Life is a lot better without romance than it is with it. Romantic love is not special at all, and I think that the romantic type of love isn't real. More than half of romantic couples either break up with each other or divorce each other, And most couples who are still together are usually not happy being together. Also, there are a lot of toxic romantic relationships. Like an example is that abuse happens a lot in romantic relationships.
@@icysnow57cold64 I am really intrigued with your perspective about romantic love cause it resonates with me. But I’m also curious to know what would be a better option to build intimate relationships and reproduction on without romantic attachment.
@@leomcanthony There's a lot of dangers and risks to romantic relationships, so they should be avoided. The concept of romance should be removed from this world. Most parents hate the idea of their daughter dating and getting married someday and want them to be single for their whole life because of how dangerous romantic relationships are, while most of the time, they're ok with their daughter having platonic friends. That's because romantic relationships are far more dangerous than platonic relationships are. Most parents (both fathers and mothers) who have daughters are hoping their daughter never dates or get married and remain single for their whole life because it's much safer to be single than it is to be in a romantic relationship.
I’m only 21 but what she’s saying resonates with my experience so far. Out of the girls I’ve dated, I’ve only fallen in love with one, despite some of the others getting really attached after we got physical. We guys don’t fall in love because you sleep with us or even because you make us wait to sleep with you. We fall in love because we enjoy being around you. Because you’re beautiful, interesting, smart, confident, (or whatever traits the particular guy values) and are someone we want to be a part of our lives. When we feel this way about a girl, we commit. At least, this is what I believe based on my experience so far.
So here's s story I am 26 and kinda embarassed to tell that i like a guy who's 19 I don't like any guy who's 26 or even 25 n have many around me of that age But nobody's even half as masculine as he is Feminism is a lie Woman will pick a guy who would die for her over a guy who's just existing Some man said to me Women love men for what they can do for them not what they r And i agree
She wasn't specific enough I think. Men fall in love when the the women commits to them, when they feel safe and taken care of and they let themselfs give in. Just as a woman has to let herself give in to her feelings
She did a lot of work researching and she's good in a scientific sense. In addition I LOVE her presentation style. But as she says herself, all we really needed was her grandmother;)
There are too many wonders about the human brain. Personally I've been in a situation where I had to choose between 2 blokes who were getting close to me. Shortly after a stressed period to decide which one I' ll let into my life, I had a dream about a series of consequences on my life if I marry the one I truly love, which means my subconscious has probably done some analysis to let me decide, yet that feeling of (love) for him still lingers with no hope of going soon.
Nice Video! Forgive me for chiming in, I would love your thoughts. Have you researched - Saankramer Love Trick System (should be on google have a look)? It is a great one of a kind product for falling in love with an amazing partner minus the normal expense. Ive heard some pretty good things about it and my old buddy Taylor after many years got cool results with it.
@@riripenguin917 Suffering is subjective. What you are saying is like saying that one has no right to feel pain when they stub their toe while some women have to endure the pain of childbirth.
Riri Penguin Just because you can’t understand it doesn’t mean that it’s invalid. Get over yourself. Somebody always has it worse, so only one person has the right to feel sad, lonely, or negative? Is that supposed to be comforting? I don’t think you’re aware of how harmful that mentality actually is. You have no idea what other people might be going through.
Same here. I thought this would aid my lack of understanding of relationships and how they work. Now I only see them as a mess of chemicals and timing, further alienating myself from a relationship and understanding of human coupling. I guess Rick from Rick and Morty was right. Love is jus chemicals, devote yourself to science.
To fall in love you MAKE CHOICES!! You can feel attraction (physical attraction) but then you can decide to nurture it or ignore it. If you nurture the attraction by starting to FLIRT, WRITE MESSAGES, CONFIDE IN THIS PERSON, START TO ATTEND THE OTHER PERSON'S MESSAGES, START TO DREAM ABOUT SPENDING MORE TIME WITH THIS PERSON, WELL ALL THESE CHOICES will make you fall in love. Was it evitable? Yes, it was!! So it is never destiny that made you fall in love. You chased each other because of the CHOICES YOU MADE.
You end up learning, you can sleep with them the first day, or wait 3 months- regardless, if he wants to be with you, he will be with you. I waited 2 months to sleep with someone, I wanted to be committed- we broke up a week later lol
Thankyou girls ❤️ just saying these comments giving another side of the reality also makes me feel good 😅 Esp the fact that,” if Anyone wants to be with you, they eventually will somehow”
I agree, if you're right for each other and the connection is there it won't matter how long you wait. Pfff all these people saying you should wait till marriage like they know best...
Despina Georgiadou Despina Georgiadou Someone who cheats cheats because the feeling of being in love has ended. No more dopamine for them. problem is that that feeling will always end. They try to relive something that is not permanent.
Don't know how I got here but, it's Saturday night, I'm a dude, single as F, and I need to shower bad... But the joke is on you society, the joke is on you... One of these days I'm gonna get my act together. Watch out ladies.
I love this her talk because she doesn't only explain what happens, she also explained how they got to find the data.... it's important for understanding
Great proof of how today's hook-up culture is influencing relationships. People often forget that falling in love is also a biological process. We go from romance to romance without truly ever committing ourselves to anyone. And then we wonder why so many people are single and lonely...
Date and see if you are right for each other. If you sleep with a man too soon, you might end up with the wrong man or stay with the wrong man just because of oxytocin.
I loved him before we met. I felt his energy, I saw him in dreams. The feeling was mutual upon “meeting” in person. Don’t hold back on being physical to gain commitment. Love comes from a much deeper place, with a deeper purpose. Start with Self Love and be true to your calling if you want long lasting relationships (they are just reflections of you). ♥️
Couldn’t agree more. Getting physical while also being self-aware is probably the best way to not only protect yourself from any future disappointment, but to also enjoy the moment with your partner to the fullest!
cortisol levels increasing makes a lot of sense because falling in love made me reach levels of insecurity, jealously, and rumination i had never reached before
yeah but men dont get attached that way and women usually do. I mean do what you want but dont complain or be upset when the guy doesnt feel the same as you.
I agree men can be quick to get into bed but from what she said, the hormones show that guys arent actually that interested in a girl when they do that because their testosterone is high and that blocks the oxytocin. And if they don't sleep with the girl then and become committed because he fell in love then his testosterone is low and the oxytocin is more in affect
I am afraid of falling in love because I can't think properly. I always do the effort for the relationship to work even if I didn't get the love I deserved. Why do we always neglect all the bad signs but rather only see the good in him ? I'm still glad it happened to me because it gaves me the greatest lesson in life.
When you fall in love you get kind of addicted to a person. Dopamine levels rise as Dawn Mascara said in her talk. At the same time a part of your brain responsible for critical thinking lowers in activity, similarly to when you are drunk, which is also probably the reason why we have the phrase “drunk on love”. On top of that the threshold at which Dopamine gets released is much lower when in love causing you to build a romanticized image people you love and your surroundings when in love. In short our brain loves to love and like any addiction, we neglect or ignore the bad side of the addiction when having what we’re addicted to, like a loved one. I hope this helped.
The best way I’ve found to avoid being treated in a way that is not the best is setting boundaries (even ahead of the relationship) and sticking to them even when you begin the relationship. After commitment or some predetermined amount of time, you can re-establish what your boundaries need to look like but in the beginning it really helps to see if someone can respect you right off the bat
I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression when I was 14, yet I found my soulmate the same year (friends at the time) 6 years later, we're still together and planned to get married once Im out of college
I have anxiety and depression. It was surprisingly easy once I found the right person. Your brain might be wired differently but you're not defective. You're perfectly capable of leading the kind of life you want. The trick is to know yourself and recognize that what works for you might not be what works for everyone else.
Yes, and by that logic you could say that a chair is just a table you sit on. A table is just a platform for food, or going further, a few bits of material put together in a form that we humans recognize as a table. You could say that our bodies are just a collection of cells, our brains a bundle of neurons, our thoughts a series of signals and actions within the brain. Delving a bit further you could say that everything you see is just a bunch of atoms that have come together to form things. Or, you could be even more exact and say that everything in your world is made up of things you have perceived to be true and that is all you will ever know. After all, the only thing you can know for sure is that some signal or another made its way to one or more of your sensory organs and by some process this was translated into something you recognize as real. You could think of the world that way and deny that certain things are “real” for that reason. A chair is a chair because we have decided that is what we call those things we sit on, just as love is love because that is what we have chosen to call the sensation we feel around those we are close to. Neither is any more or less real than the other. Both have been felt time and time again by our species and given a name so we may convey our perception of reality to one another. Saying love is just a chemical reaction we have is true in a sense. However, it is also true for most everything else we perceive or feel. With that in mind, all of this really boils down to a choice. You can look at the world through a hard lens your whole life, knocking such things as “soul mates” and “love”, or even “chairs”. Or, you could choose to allow people to believe in what makes them happy and gives them a better quality of life. Any good scientist will tell you that a study is only as good as the instruments used to get the data, and most things will never be proven to be 100% correct. We live in imperfect instruments. Our brains and bodies are only good for a finite amount of time, and that is all we’ve got to work with. Do you really think that time is well spent bickering over whose perceived reality is correct? In a sense, we’re all wrong. In another, we’re all right. Who really knows? I think most people can agree, though, that love brings happiness (whatever that may be), and that is good (again, whatever “good” is).
This scientific study proves that the rule in the Bible of only having sex after marriage, which is commitment, makes a lot of sense with our biological tendencies.
give an example of a BIBLICAL child marriage. Please if you don't believe in a religion, its your choice. But spewing lies and making baseless allegations against someone else's faith and belief is just preposterous. Especially when you can't even be bothered to study the said belief.
I wasn't saying the children in the Bible were good at making marriage laws, or any laws whatsoever, I meant that God is just and made science to fit with his laws.
Marellec Lejon Yes I would also like to point out that marriages that have Jesus Christ as the center of their marriage are a lot less likely to result in a divorce than marriages that do not have Jesus at the center of their lives. When someone receives salvation, God will supernaturally make two people fall in love with each other, two people who were truly meant to be with each other. I've heard of Christian married couples still feeling in love with each other even after being with each other for tons and tons of years. That's because their marriage is blessed by God because it's a God ordained marriage.
Did the study account for age? Testosterone levels drop with age too, and I can't imagine the average age of single men to be the same as the average age of married.
The United States Air Force has an age-cap for participants. Somewhere from 17 years old to early/mid 30s, respectfully. The test was based only on this age group, I believe.
I'm sure yes! Harvard knows what they're doing when it comes to these studies right, and controlling other variables in an experiment is basic procedure that even 5 year olds know.
It's amazing how we undermine the wisdom of our foreparents. Education today is all about getting a job where traditionally education meant the understanding of life and the acquisitional life-skills
Each person is not blessed to have a wise person in his/her life but as a workaround they have the oppurtunity to hear this wonderful and wise Ted talk.I wish I had known this much before.
Falling in love is easy and natural. We need a way to come out of this chemical state when love doesn't work. If there were a pill or hundred for that, a lot of pain could be saved.
Ha, whenever people ask what spirit animal they are, or what animal they’d be if they were reincarnated. I didn’t want to be an eagle, 🦅 tiger 🐅 or bear 🐻 My only answer is a Canada goose - simply because they mate for life!!! Adding adorable prairie rodents to my list from here on.
"Falling in LOVE" is a deceptive expression, which makes the understanding difficult of what "love" really is. This video is if fact all about ATTACHMENT or creating a BOND between individuals. True love, on the other hand, is the thoughts and deeds of benevolence in different forms. Love is healing, constructive and creative energy, coming from one source and directed to another. So you can add true love in varying amounts to a relationship, or not at all. It all depends on the both partners' will and capacity to give or show benevolence - and to receive it as well. If you've grown up being neglected of care, attention and acceptance, you'll probably have difficulties in showing love, or even to understand what love actually means. That's when you'll have to learn to love yourself to begin with, to appreciate the wonderful being you are born to be. To understand and to accept - to really feel - that you are as special and important as anyone else born to this planet. This is the way you learn to appreciate other people, too. I've written this on other videos on the tube, as well, but as it is so important I really want to bring forth and to emphasize this information.
>>>> there are more than two genders. >>>> actually, gender is a cultural/ social construct. Biological sex is another thing, but there's also more than 2.
We are so preoccupied with falling in love, being in love, having a soul mate that we do not question whether that person is really good for us and are we good for them. That is why we have a high divorce rate.
Thats really interesting. But it also reflects my experience. If you go have sex with a girl to early it can lead to a drop of interest, while her increases fast. Sometimes in a speed where you feel that you can´t follow and get afraid by the plans she is already doing. But I learned from this mistakes. As said in the video take your time. Just keep dating for a while until you know that you love her. It´s an inherent advice not only for girls but man too if they want to stay happy with the girl. It gives you time to find out more about her and let the freshness of the first impressions sink in and really evaluate her character.
You're losing interest in women after you sleep together immediately because you don't see her as a nuanced true human being with different interests, values, emotions, ect... but rather an object or a prize, something to "win"... and similarly the women you chose are equally vapid to commit to you immediately, which likely means they are objectifying you in a different sort of way - maybe a paycheck, emotional validation, something to fill their loneliness....
This seems true. I dated a guy a few months ago and in the beginning he was completely in love with me and he was very enthusiastic. He really seemed to be in love. But then because I was so in love I couldn´t resist to sleep with him after a very short time. And after like a month he told me he is very sorry but he just didn´t fall in love even though he was so enthusiastic in the beginning and he really thought he was in love. He seemed very confused with himself. He was super honest with me. While I wasn´t so sure about my feelings until we slept together it seemed that he started not being sure after we slept together. It seems like I just slept too early with him we should have built a deeper emotional connection. I will never do that again when I´m really interested in a guy. I will always wait from now on. But it´s so hard to wait at least for me when I´m strongly attracted to a guy I can´t contain myself.
This is really a lesson. And I also always think of what my gynecologist said, “abstain” (because I’m still young and should be focusing on self and study). Please take care of your sacred heart. It’s hard when you fall on love with a man after sleeping with him because it feel like you are not allowed to feel heart broken because he’s not you boyfriend.
To all the lovely ladies, do not stay with a man who does not commit. Was with someone for 9 years who not once said I love you or wanted any commitment but lied about it. To the men who are deciding, do not drag a woman you care about into that either. She will possibly resent you.
This is a wonderful survey of so many people from different cultures, all ages over a long period of time which has made it fascinating and stimulating. What makes it even better is when people return weeks months or even years later updating their experiences and getting support for their growth or disappointment.
I was married for 6 years. I’m 29 now. I thought I was IN love. Maybe with the abuse it was clouded I don’t know. But with my now boyfriend, I feel like I’m making love, we stare in each other’s eyes, in each other’s souls, I don’t want to be far from him when he’s around me …. I feel so so so in love. I’m experiencing being in love for this first time. My ex was my first and I’m loyal and I thought ok this is the next step. Now that I know what it’s like to be in love I will never go back !
My major question is: what is the definition of commitment? Does commitment mean being exclusive aka a committed relationship, or does it mean being engaged? Marriage is nothing more than a piece of paper....a legal contract. A couple doesn't have to love each other or even like each other in order to get married or to commit. It is not physical or legal commitment, but emotional commitment that causes love to happen. The reason for commitment is the cause of love, not the act of committing.
she meant emotional commitment obviously. as in choosing to want to be with that person alone. Which is why it didnt matter if they were married or just in a committed non-marital relationship. The testosterone levels were the same.
It’s committing to make another person a part of your life, whether that means marriage or just a committed relationship, monogamous or otherwise. At least that’s how I understand it
I agree. *Emotional commitment is the most beautiful seal of love.* *I honestly would much rather wait until the timing is right.* *Falling in love is an incredible and amazing feeling! And it’s fun. Enjoy those moments and embrace them. I personally cherish that part.* *I truly and honestly do not want the one I’m falling in love with ~ to feel rushed in any way, nor feel pressured into marriage.*
There are so many correlations happening in my mind throughout the talk between what she is saying and feelings I have in various life experiences. I'm happy I found this. Sad that I have to lose my test levels if I want to successfully raise kids tho...
Yes❤what Alex said. And by the time you’re old enough to afford a family you’re T levels will gently and naturally decline…and you’ll welcome the peace and comfort and joy❤
My heart, mind, body, soul, spirit suppose to fall in love first with peace, light, faith. Then with a gentleman not gentlemen. Love is a powerful human emotion feeling of deep devotion in motion. People fall in love with that special person. It's a 100% natural thing to experience on earth. May you all fall in love with your sweet heart.
Feeling of “falling in love” will not be there for too long anyway. So we have to think about building relationship and learn how to love the person we chose.
Wow! People are taking this head-on. It say's how our "brain" falls in love, it isn't a recipe people, there are much more circumstances of the human world and it's complexities that have their role...
Love is not defined by emotions or fluctuations in hormones. Rather, it is underpinned by intellect and the will. Love in essence is willing the good of another.
amazing video. i am fascinated with the neural activity in our brain and how this is the main source to impact, and control our behaviors. interesting enough is the fact that we possess more than 100 chemicals in our brain that impact our behavior but only three neurotransmitters are responsible for the state of being in love. Congrats to the speaker for this research.
I don't even know why this recommend to me but it was the best explanation since I heard alot of stories and sciences here! And also her granny is genius without even studying science lol😁i loved the presentation thank you ❤
Such an interesting video. So the testosterone drop when men commit explains why you typically see that the population of commited men look less fit and older, less attractive in general. Yes it may be they have less time, less incentive to attract. But it is also a hormonal fight essentially
so if a married man is still fit and doing the stuff that single people do then is he trying to attract some chicks with out the knowledge of his wife?
Well, thats not quite right. The drop in testosterone is only momentary where men who look less fit in the context you are describing is usually attributed to many factors both mental and physical. Though there is truth in the hormonal fight, especially with respect to imbalance, which seems to be more prevalent in our modern times. Perhaps its a mix of it becoming more understood as well as modern society generating these imbalances at a greater rate. Also our life expectancies are longer and thus this could be something that effects the averages that we base our statistics by.
A woman should be smart if she doesn't like to be used by men. I agree, guys don't fall in love too easily, therefore you should also not sleep with him too early. Protect your heart from possible heartaches in the future because no one's gonna help you heal except yourself.
That’s true, but tricky sometimes to accomplish when you truly love someone. Waiting to be physical is challenging for women as it is definitely part of the attraction, protecting your heart is harder if you’re insecure and fearful of rejection. I would much rather get it right, and wait! Even if I came across too strong in the wrong ways. *I do not want to put any pressure on someone I love either. Falling in love is a beautiful place to be, it’s a state of mind, a journey for two hearts meeting together. And that’s really a wonderfully special part to enjoy.*
I slept with my bf after fairly quickly for me. I fell in love first. It took him about 8 months to fully commit to me. I can now say he’s genuinely in love with me.
I am falling in love. I literally felt that oxytocin release just by talking to him on FaceTime. His face just reminded me of babies playing...like all the innocence, potential, authenticity.
"Love is the state in which man sees things most of all as they are 'not'. The illusion-creating force is there at its height, likewise the sweetening and 'transforming' force. One endures more when in love than one otherwise would, one tolerates everything..." - FWN
Thanks Ma'am for biochemical clearification of the feeling that people call "Love" in their early maturities. Well I agree with everything that you have said but this is all the lusty physical and mental part of love. Hence, I also believe that Love exists at a higher spiritual level beyond the physical and mental level. If one despite gaining and losing everything that you said, has the person at the same place in heart with the same amount of space then I must say "This is Love Indeed"
@@faithbeyondocd4339 God knows our path and puts us on different ones accordingly, long before we ever understand the why’s in life. Part of knowing, is the acceptance to put your faith and trust in Gods hands.
this is ridiculous. medically speaking she just mixed a lot of research to prove her point of view . the problem is that you cannot associate a hormone level with longterm effect as falling in love or commitment because the hormones are constantly changing overtime and mood
Are you sure that she "mixed" a bunch of random research? It sounded more like the research related and proved various points while removing other points from the equation.
yes! many journal articles simply summarize and put together evidence of other studies in order to gain substance for their points - published scientific journal articles. but also remember that this is just a postulation. she places in key words such as"tends to" because this is a generalization and also a simplification of a complicated emotional and chemical process in a ten minute speech. not to say she has it all figured out either because she doesnt, but its definitely an interesting hypothesis!
I like how they tried to show an enzymatic reaction to describe a decrease in something but it only showed the difference between a reaction with a catalyst or not not two different reactions 😂😭
Her grandmother may think that a committed man is in love, but what about committed men who happen to cheat on their beloved wives? Was that not taken into account?
i usually never sleep with a guy i just met (not necessarily out of principle but cause i just cant, it feels wrong to have a guy i barely know touch me). However, when i met my boyfriend of 4 years, i knew from the get-go that i wanted to be with him and with him i was ok to let it happen that fast. And since that night he never wanted to let me go home. We spent the next days and nights together for years. Sometimes, when it feels right....just go for it tbh. Everyone and every situation is different
Grandma is so right. Never let a guy touch you until he says he loves you and means it. Let the guy develop a genuine interest and an strong emotional attachment and commitment to you before getting physical.
the real question is.... why is this in my recommended
Becouse you like us... Dont have boy-girl friend :(
weave snatched they know
Bc RUclips knows
weave snatched ...
weave snatched lmao
me: “i’m over him.”
recommended:
Katherynnicole literally same
Yessss
😂😂
Literally me
Katherynnicole hahaha
Old peoples might not know the science behind things, but they have experience. Which is priceless.
It's like indigenous wisdom. They might not share their knowledge through quantitative data, but the things they have passed down for generations are just as rich in truths and insight about the world
Romantic relationships are not a beautiful thing. Romance causes a lot of problems in this world. Life is a lot better without romance than it is with it. Romantic love is not special at all, and I think that the romantic type of love isn't real. More than half of romantic couples either break up with each other or divorce each other, And most couples who are still together are usually not happy being together.
Also, there are a lot of toxic romantic relationships. Like an example is that abuse happens a lot in romantic relationships.
@@icysnow57cold64despite what you think, the world goes on :)
@@icysnow57cold64 I am really intrigued with your perspective about romantic love cause it resonates with me. But I’m also curious to know what would be a better option to build intimate relationships and reproduction on without romantic attachment.
@@leomcanthony There's a lot of dangers and risks to romantic relationships, so they should be avoided. The concept of romance should be removed from this world.
Most parents hate the idea of their daughter dating and getting married someday and want them to be single for their whole life because of how dangerous romantic relationships are, while most of the time, they're ok with their daughter having platonic friends. That's because romantic relationships are far more dangerous than platonic relationships are.
Most parents (both fathers and mothers) who have daughters are hoping their daughter never dates or get married and remain single for their whole life because it's much safer to be single than it is to be in a romantic relationship.
i love how she took such a complicated subject and made it so easy to understand
I'm trying to be a romance song writer. Hope you can enjoy a song.
@@gboard17ؤ.. ش. كك.
عغ @.
eltern zeit
Set speed at 1.25. You'll thank me.
Thank you!!
Thanks
Laura Nguyen thanks 😂😂
Laura Nguyen how do you do that... How bout 1.5
Thank you
I’m only 21 but what she’s saying resonates with my experience so far. Out of the girls I’ve dated, I’ve only fallen in love with one, despite some of the others getting really attached after we got physical. We guys don’t fall in love because you sleep with us or even because you make us wait to sleep with you. We fall in love because we enjoy being around you. Because you’re beautiful, interesting, smart, confident, (or whatever traits the particular guy values) and are someone we want to be a part of our lives. When we feel this way about a girl, we commit. At least, this is what I believe based on my experience so far.
So here's s story
I am 26 and kinda embarassed to tell that i like a guy who's 19
I don't like any guy who's 26 or even 25 n have many around me of that age
But nobody's even half as masculine as he is
Feminism is a lie
Woman will pick a guy who would die for her over a guy who's just existing
Some man said to me
Women love men for what they can do for them not what they r
And i agree
i didnt know u spoke for all guys, thanks alex 🙏
@@bae5872 how did you get “spoke for all guys” from “resonates with MY experience”
@@bae5872 the use of the “we” pronoun is purely stylistic
@@VeryAwesomeStuff YOURE THE ONE WHO SAID "WE GUYS" BRUH 😭
Men don't fall in love when they commit. Men commint when they fall in love.
Billy Bones Brilliant, my friend.
Billy Bones very true.
The problem is Men can fake to commit.
She wasn't specific enough I think.
Men fall in love when the the women commits to them, when they feel safe and taken care of and they let themselfs give in.
Just as a woman has to let herself give in to her feelings
True and agreed. Commitment is a sure sign of a man's already in love.
She did a lot of work researching and she's good in a scientific sense. In addition I LOVE her presentation style. But as she says herself, all we really needed was her grandmother;)
J JH BAHAHAHA grandmother should actually give a speech here
There are too many wonders about the human brain. Personally I've been in a situation where I had to choose between 2 blokes who were getting close to me. Shortly after a stressed period to decide which one I' ll let into my life, I had a dream about a series of consequences on my life if I marry the one I truly love, which means my subconscious has probably done some analysis to let me decide, yet that feeling of (love) for him still lingers with no hope of going soon.
Sade life that's cuz you're fickle and don't know what you want.
Nice Video! Forgive me for chiming in, I would love your thoughts. Have you researched - Saankramer Love Trick System (should be on google have a look)? It is a great one of a kind product for falling in love with an amazing partner minus the normal expense. Ive heard some pretty good things about it and my old buddy Taylor after many years got cool results with it.
Sade Life1015 Which one you pick?
So should I inject some of that to my crush
😂😂 o pls iam dead now 😂😂
Unethical but understandable👏🏼 😂
Yes see if he stays.
Vas so pressin.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
youtube knows that i cried today over the person i fell in love with...
how do you feel now?
Me too
You slept with them too soon
Awwww❤️
Are u alrighty hope u r
Me watching this in quarantine because I’m sad and lonely.
same sis
Hahaha!!
we all out here livin the same life ay
@@riripenguin917 Suffering is subjective. What you are saying is like saying that one has no right to feel pain when they stub their toe while some women have to endure the pain of childbirth.
Riri Penguin Just because you can’t understand it doesn’t mean that it’s invalid. Get over yourself. Somebody always has it worse, so only one person has the right to feel sad, lonely, or negative? Is that supposed to be comforting? I don’t think you’re aware of how harmful that mentality actually is. You have no idea what other people might be going through.
watching this because I'm single and sad and lonely.
same
same
^ yep 😪
Me too😢
Same here. I thought this would aid my lack of understanding of relationships and how they work. Now I only see them as a mess of chemicals and timing, further alienating myself from a relationship and understanding of human coupling. I guess Rick from Rick and Morty was right. Love is jus chemicals, devote yourself to science.
To fall in love you MAKE CHOICES!! You can feel attraction (physical attraction) but then you can decide to nurture it or ignore it. If you nurture the attraction by starting to FLIRT, WRITE MESSAGES, CONFIDE IN THIS PERSON, START TO ATTEND THE OTHER PERSON'S MESSAGES, START TO DREAM ABOUT SPENDING MORE TIME WITH THIS PERSON, WELL ALL THESE CHOICES will make you fall in love. Was it evitable? Yes, it was!! So it is never destiny that made you fall in love. You chased each other because of the CHOICES YOU MADE.
120% agree
You end up learning, you can sleep with them the first day, or wait 3 months- regardless, if he wants to be with you, he will be with you. I waited 2 months to sleep with someone, I wanted to be committed- we broke up a week later lol
Brigette Nicole I definitely agree. From experience first hand. It doesn’t matter when you sleep with any one.
And I slept with my bf on our third date and we’re together 1.5 years later. Lol
Brigette Nicole can relate...
Thankyou girls ❤️ just saying these comments giving another side of the reality also makes me feel good 😅
Esp the fact that,” if Anyone wants to be with you, they eventually will somehow”
I agree, if you're right for each other and the connection is there it won't matter how long you wait. Pfff all these people saying you should wait till marriage like they know best...
I wonder how this work with cheaters.
Nothing works with cheaters.
they are properly goin in too fast or just lying to their self and others that they are on something
Hormonal imbalances, haywire 😁
If someone cheats on you he doesn't love you completely or at all because he didn't really commit
Despina Georgiadou Despina Georgiadou Someone who cheats cheats because the feeling of being in love has ended. No more dopamine for them. problem is that that feeling will always end. They try to relive something that is not permanent.
Don't know how I got here but, it's Saturday night, I'm a dude, single as F, and I need to shower bad... But the joke is on you society, the joke is on you... One of these days I'm gonna get my act together. Watch out ladies.
Santa Claus Good luck Santa.
get dem girls
Santa Claus may you keep on laughing !!!
Santa Claus Ho' Ho' Ho'!
😂
I love this her talk because she doesn't only explain what happens, she also explained how they got to find the data.... it's important for understanding
Finally I found a Ted talk really interesting and clear !
Pasi there are so many that come under that description though!
khazar made zionism cult system in colony europe with cia hypnosis media.
I cringed watching her fumble for words
Watch esther perrel
Hypnose you should watch the one I did it’s just as interesting ;)
Great proof of how today's hook-up culture is influencing relationships. People often forget that falling in love is also a biological process. We go from romance to romance without truly ever committing ourselves to anyone. And then we wonder why so many people are single and lonely...
Briliant ...
What makes you think “everyone” wants to fall in love or that everyone who’s single is “lonely” 🤦🏻♀️. Ugh people like you are unbearable
the quote "I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once." has been derived by watching this
hard to not fall in love with Augustus Waters 😭
It seems like there is no one in the room
Yeah lol
There is
Date and see if you are right for each other. If you sleep with a man too soon, you might end up with the wrong man or stay with the wrong man just because of oxytocin.
Yes!
yup
if just kiss too early, is it okay?
Oxytocin and Dopamine can either be our ally or enemy huh
Shez Shez Here is one amazing comment! You are good.
Falling in love to the right person is the best feeling ever. That's why it is important to find one!
It;s easy to say that but never easy to find one lol
@@ChaoticAng3lEJ So true. Sadly.
You mean if your love is reciprocated? But I guess it is one of the sign of the "right person"? That person love you back.
@@tiararoxeanne1318 it's kinda a 50% on that
even if that person likes you back, that doesn't mean they are the exact right person for you yk
right. love is complicated@@ChaoticAng3lEJ
Me: has a crush
My science addicted brain: WHY IS THIS HAPPENING, I NEED YO KNOWWW
Hmm…
Same 😭
Oxytocin got me f'd up.
Lmfaoo
great comment
Can’t take it back once it’s been set in motion
I loved him before we met. I felt his energy, I saw him in dreams. The feeling was mutual upon “meeting” in person. Don’t hold back on being physical to gain commitment. Love comes from a much deeper place, with a deeper purpose. Start with Self Love and be true to your calling if you want long lasting relationships (they are just reflections of you). ♥️
True, how long have you guys been together
Couldn’t agree more. Getting physical while also being self-aware is probably the best way to not only protect yourself from any future disappointment, but to also enjoy the moment with your partner to the fullest!
cortisol levels increasing makes a lot of sense because falling in love made me reach levels of insecurity, jealously, and rumination i had never reached before
I'm a song writer. Hopefully people can find some fulfillment in one of my songs.
lmao, THIS!
Your grandmother's really brilliant
marylinda onyeasi not really. ppl go the extent of committing to have sex these days. thus we have at times single mothers.
Satyajeet Shira that's when a man says whatever the woman wants to hear to get her into bed.
Yea you're beautiful. 😂
Lol yes. It is hard to decipher a man with a poker face.
Yeah brilliant Granny
it takes two people to sleep with someone so if women are too quick to get to bed with someone that also means men are quick also.
yeah but men dont get attached that way and women usually do. I mean do what you want but dont complain or be upset when the guy doesnt feel the same as you.
Mariah M i’m not upset lmao but just cuz they don’t get attached doesn’t mean they aren’t quick to get into bed
I agree men can be quick to get into bed but from what she said, the hormones show that guys arent actually that interested in a girl when they do that because their testosterone is high and that blocks the oxytocin. And if they don't sleep with the girl then and become committed because he fell in love then his testosterone is low and the oxytocin is more in affect
Stop comparing yourselves to men we women will end up crying in the end and not the men just learn and obey thats all
@Ramiz Ali please meaning of MGTOW
I am afraid of falling in love because I can't think properly. I always do the effort for the relationship to work even if I didn't get the love I deserved. Why do we always neglect all the bad signs but rather only see the good in him ? I'm still glad it happened to me because it gaves me the greatest lesson in life.
When you fall in love you get kind of addicted to a person. Dopamine levels rise as Dawn Mascara said in her talk. At the same time a part of your brain responsible for critical thinking lowers in activity, similarly to when you are drunk, which is also probably the reason why we have the phrase “drunk on love”. On top of that the threshold at which Dopamine gets released is much lower when in love causing you to build a romanticized image people you love and your surroundings when in love. In short our brain loves to love and like any addiction, we neglect or ignore the bad side of the addiction when having what we’re addicted to, like a loved one. I hope this helped.
It might be limerence
Same here!
@@davidkoormann5262 omg you’ve just described the entire decade of my 20s! 😂
The best way I’ve found to avoid being treated in a way that is not the best is setting boundaries (even ahead of the relationship) and sticking to them even when you begin the relationship. After commitment or some predetermined amount of time, you can re-establish what your boundaries need to look like but in the beginning it really helps to see if someone can respect you right off the bat
How about those suffering from anxiety/depression?? Can they ever love 100%...can they commit? How is love like for those suffering from either
I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression when I was 14, yet I found my soulmate the same year (friends at the time) 6 years later, we're still together and planned to get married once Im out of college
Alicia S. Damn
I have anxiety and depression. It was surprisingly easy once I found the right person. Your brain might be wired differently but you're not defective. You're perfectly capable of leading the kind of life you want. The trick is to know yourself and recognize that what works for you might not be what works for everyone else.
Haley Riker thank you for writing that :')
Yes, and by that logic you could say that a chair is just a table you sit on. A table is just a platform for food, or going further, a few bits of material put together in a form that we humans recognize as a table. You could say that our bodies are just a collection of cells, our brains a bundle of neurons, our thoughts a series of signals and actions within the brain. Delving a bit further you could say that everything you see is just a bunch of atoms that have come together to form things. Or, you could be even more exact and say that everything in your world is made up of things you have perceived to be true and that is all you will ever know. After all, the only thing you can know for sure is that some signal or another made its way to one or more of your sensory organs and by some process this was translated into something you recognize as real.
You could think of the world that way and deny that certain things are “real” for that reason. A chair is a chair because we have decided that is what we call those things we sit on, just as love is love because that is what we have chosen to call the sensation we feel around those we are close to. Neither is any more or less real than the other. Both have been felt time and time again by our species and given a name so we may convey our perception of reality to one another. Saying love is just a chemical reaction we have is true in a sense. However, it is also true for most everything else we perceive or feel.
With that in mind, all of this really boils down to a choice. You can look at the world through a hard lens your whole life, knocking such things as “soul mates” and “love”, or even “chairs”. Or, you could choose to allow people to believe in what makes them happy and gives them a better quality of life. Any good scientist will tell you that a study is only as good as the instruments used to get the data, and most things will never be proven to be 100% correct. We live in imperfect instruments. Our brains and bodies are only good for a finite amount of time, and that is all we’ve got to work with. Do you really think that time is well spent bickering over whose perceived reality is correct? In a sense, we’re all wrong. In another, we’re all right. Who really knows? I think most people can agree, though, that love brings happiness (whatever that may be), and that is good (again, whatever “good” is).
this video was great for my adhd. she got to the point every single time and was clear and concise. Thank you, Dawn.
This scientific study proves that the rule in the Bible of only having sex after marriage, which is commitment, makes a lot of sense with our biological tendencies.
Yea those child brides are great experts on the intricacies of love.
give an example of a BIBLICAL child marriage. Please if you don't believe in a religion, its your choice. But spewing lies and making baseless allegations against someone else's faith and belief is just preposterous. Especially when you can't even be bothered to study the said belief.
Google it.
I wasn't saying the children in the Bible were good at making marriage laws, or any laws whatsoever, I meant that God is just and made science to fit with his laws.
Marellec Lejon Yes I would also like to point out that marriages that have Jesus Christ as the center of their marriage are a lot less likely to result in a divorce than marriages that do not have Jesus at the center of their lives. When someone receives salvation, God will supernaturally make two people fall in love with each other, two people who were truly meant to be with each other. I've heard of Christian married couples still feeling in love with each other even after being with each other for tons and tons of years. That's because their marriage is blessed by God because it's a God ordained marriage.
From my experience and what I heard from a lot of people throughout my life, the grandmas advice is 100% spot on.
RUclips and I need to have a chat abt these recommendations lately...
Did the study account for age? Testosterone levels drop with age too, and I can't imagine the average age of single men to be the same as the average age of married.
James Li I'm sure it did because not all single men are in their twenties and not all married or committed men are in their 30-40 and up
The United States Air Force has an age-cap for participants. Somewhere from 17 years old to early/mid 30s, respectfully. The test was based only on this age group, I believe.
James Li I don't want to sound creepy but... you are so handsome!! 🤣🤣
I'm sure yes! Harvard knows what they're doing when it comes to these studies right, and controlling other variables in an experiment is basic procedure that even 5 year olds know.
James Li well the level of hormones is relative.i mean there is a ratio like testosterone estrogen ratio in men and all that.hope it clears things
It's amazing how we undermine the wisdom of our foreparents. Education today is all about getting a job where traditionally education meant the understanding of life and the acquisitional life-skills
My boyfriend always says “ I just knew when I saw you smiling and when my heart skipped a beat“ ...
According to Shakespeare? Love is a form of temporary madness!
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
It is.
Each person is not blessed to have a wise person in his/her life but as a workaround they have the oppurtunity to hear this wonderful and wise Ted talk.I wish I had known this much before.
Falling in love is easy and natural. We need a way to come out of this chemical state when love doesn't work. If there were a pill or hundred for that, a lot of pain could be saved.
It’s 1am wtf am I doing here and why am I still up? I need to get my life together.
1 am is not late
But here’s the catch
Take a shot every time she says ‘but there’s a catch’
She's not a great presenter
Wait I'm so sad they ruined the relationship between those little rodents 🥺
OMG yeah😆🤣
😂😂😂😂😂😂💀
Ha, whenever people ask what spirit animal they are, or what animal they’d be if they were reincarnated.
I didn’t want to be an eagle, 🦅 tiger 🐅 or bear 🐻
My only answer is a Canada goose - simply because they mate for life!!!
Adding adorable prairie rodents to my list from here on.
THE T IS CROOKED, I CAN'T HANDLE THIS
Lmao i thought i was the only one that noticed
LOL
NO WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?!?!
NOW I CANNOT UNSEE IT
😂😂😂😂😂
I'm dead 😂😂😂 type a's watching Ted talks
Long live her grandmother, her facts contributed to unravel the science of love!!
"Falling in LOVE" is a deceptive expression, which makes the understanding difficult of what "love" really is. This video is if fact all about ATTACHMENT or creating a BOND between individuals. True love, on the other hand, is the thoughts and deeds of benevolence in different forms. Love is healing, constructive and creative energy, coming from one source and directed to another.
So you can add true love in varying amounts to a relationship, or not at all. It all depends on the both partners' will and capacity to give or show benevolence - and to receive it as well. If you've grown up being neglected of care, attention and acceptance, you'll probably have difficulties in showing love, or even to understand what love actually means. That's when you'll have to learn to love yourself to begin with, to appreciate the wonderful being you are born to be. To understand and to accept - to really feel - that you are as special and important as anyone else born to this planet. This is the way you learn to appreciate other people, too.
I've written this on other videos on the tube, as well, but as it is so important I really want to bring forth and to emphasize this information.
Martin you are so right! Keep posting your wisdom, people need to hear it!
You did more healing than my therapist
Thank you @martinwest2538
❤🩹❤@@aspirantchoudhary9332
Yes,when a man give you promise it means he falls in love with u.but nowadays man always lies about what they say
yeah so how do i know its for real
Yilia Li >>> Both genders do.
>>>> there are more than two genders. >>>> actually, gender is a cultural/ social construct. Biological sex is another thing, but there's also more than 2.
that was all i was thinking too....because people nowadays just lie for sex...dont they?!
i guess you have to wait for him to really commit instead of falling for promises
We are so preoccupied with falling in love, being in love, having a soul mate that we do not question whether that person is really good for us and are we good for them. That is why we have a high divorce rate.
No one:
RUclips: Here watch this after 4 years it was released
Despoina Krt cos everyone’s on lockdown and bonding
Despoina Krt frfr
Frfr
7 Yr....
8 Years now
"Explenation point"
What’s wrong with that
its called an exclamation point
"Anadotal"
I know she talks weird.... but here's the catch... it makes a lot of sense
Thats really interesting. But it also reflects my experience. If you go have sex with a girl to early it can lead to a drop of interest, while her increases fast. Sometimes in a speed where you feel that you can´t follow and get afraid by the plans she is already doing.
But I learned from this mistakes. As said in the video take your time. Just keep dating for a while until you know that you love her. It´s an inherent advice not only for girls but man too if they want to stay happy with the girl. It gives you time to find out more about her and let the freshness of the first impressions sink in and really evaluate her character.
+Luke Jameson
He's lying, Jinx is not a Jedi.
You're losing interest in women after you sleep together immediately because you don't see her as a nuanced true human being with different interests, values, emotions, ect... but rather an object or a prize, something to "win"... and similarly the women you chose are equally vapid to commit to you immediately, which likely means they are objectifying you in a different sort of way - maybe a paycheck, emotional validation, something to fill their loneliness....
This seems true. I dated a guy a few months ago and in the beginning he was completely in love with me and he was very enthusiastic. He really seemed to be in love. But then because I was so in love I couldn´t resist to sleep with him after a very short time. And after like a month he told me he is very sorry but he just didn´t fall in love even though he was so enthusiastic in the beginning and he really thought he was in love. He seemed very confused with himself. He was super honest with me. While I wasn´t so sure about my feelings until we slept together it seemed that he started not being sure after we slept together. It seems like I just slept too early with him we should have built a deeper emotional connection. I will never do that again when I´m really interested in a guy. I will always wait from now on. But it´s so hard to wait at least for me when I´m strongly attracted to a guy I can´t contain myself.
Maybe we should wait until a guy show his commitment or want to make a commitment with us.
It’s a complementary spiritual energy vibration between two souls
This is really a lesson. And I also always think of what my gynecologist said, “abstain” (because I’m still young and should be focusing on self and study).
Please take care of your sacred heart. It’s hard when you fall on love with a man after sleeping with him because it feel like you are not allowed to feel heart broken because he’s not you boyfriend.
To all the lovely ladies, do not stay with a man who does not commit. Was with someone for 9 years who not once said I love you or wanted any commitment but lied about it. To the men who are deciding, do not drag a woman you care about into that either. She will possibly resent you.
Love is scary isn't it? You never know when it happens and when you fall in love, that person better catch you or else you'll break.
The most accurate definition of this thAng called love...
And shattered heart is worse than broken bones. The falling part is scary indeed. But it’s like those butterflies inside that give you a boost too! 🦋
This is a wonderful survey of so many people from different cultures, all ages over a long period of time which has made it fascinating and stimulating. What makes it even better is when people return weeks months or even years later updating their experiences and getting support for their growth or disappointment.
Who needs love when you can eat an entire bag of shredded cheese. Amirite fellas?
Bird Bird that just reminded me of my ex thanks
Get help
No sob
Yea... and play as many video games as u want
Exactly
YOU GO GRANDMA, MY GRANDMOTHER SAID THE SAME THING TO ME IN MY 20'S . I ALWAYS TAKE MY TIME IN RELATIONSHIPS.
I'm more ready to receive this information, than the first time I listened to this video. She's wise.
9 days to valentine’s and you see this in your recommended, interesting right? 😂
Broke up yesterday and found this in recommendations today.
I was married for 6 years. I’m 29 now. I thought I was IN love. Maybe with the abuse it was clouded I don’t know. But with my now boyfriend, I feel like I’m making love, we stare in each other’s eyes, in each other’s souls, I don’t want to be far from him when he’s around me …. I feel so so so in love. I’m experiencing being in love for this first time.
My ex was my first and I’m loyal and I thought ok this is the next step. Now that I know what it’s like to be in love I will never go back !
My major question is: what is the definition of commitment? Does commitment mean being exclusive aka a committed relationship, or does it mean being engaged? Marriage is nothing more than a piece of paper....a legal contract. A couple doesn't have to love each other or even like each other in order to get married or to commit. It is not physical or legal commitment, but emotional commitment that causes love to happen. The reason for commitment is the cause of love, not the act of committing.
exactly, I didn't undersatnd what commitment means?
I want a simple meaning please....
she meant emotional commitment obviously. as in choosing to want to be with that person alone. Which is why it didnt matter if they were married or just in a committed non-marital relationship. The testosterone levels were the same.
I think commitment doesn't necessarily mean exclusiveness.
It’s committing to make another person a part of your life, whether that means marriage or just a committed relationship, monogamous or otherwise. At least that’s how I understand it
I agree. *Emotional commitment is the most beautiful seal of love.*
*I honestly would much rather wait until the timing is right.*
*Falling in love is an incredible and amazing feeling! And it’s fun. Enjoy those moments and embrace them. I personally cherish that part.*
*I truly and honestly do not want the one I’m falling in love with ~ to feel rushed in any way, nor feel pressured into marriage.*
There are so many correlations happening in my mind throughout the talk between what she is saying and feelings I have in various life experiences. I'm happy I found this. Sad that I have to lose my test levels if I want to successfully raise kids tho...
That is a l for men ig..
Probably worth the sacrifice, rather have low T and a loving family than high T and forever alone
Yes❤what Alex said. And by the time you’re old enough to afford a family you’re T levels will gently and naturally decline…and you’ll welcome the peace and comfort and joy❤
Brain does not fall in love, heart does
This is how, in my 16 years of live, I learnt a lot by listening my grandmother and her stories.
Lol same
Both of my grandparents died sadly .. It would be nice listening to them
My heart, mind, body, soul, spirit suppose to fall in love first with peace, light, faith.
Then with a gentleman not gentlemen. Love is a powerful human emotion feeling of deep devotion in motion. People fall in love with that special person. It's a 100% natural thing to experience on earth. May you all fall in love with your sweet heart.
It’s Gods gift too! A magical and powerful experience like nothing else, especially when you didn’t have any expectations at finding your true love.
Feeling of “falling in love” will not be there for too long anyway. So we have to think about building relationship and learn how to love the person we chose.
Wow! People are taking this head-on. It say's how our "brain" falls in love, it isn't a recipe people, there are much more circumstances of the human world and it's complexities that have their role...
Judging from my experiences with men and love, I’d say this is pretty accurate in the real world
admit it ... we all watched this hoping it’d explain why we are so in love with that one person
I'm a song writer. Hopefully one of my songs can bring somebody happiness.
I don’t really need an explanation, but it sounds pretty legit for my behaviour 😂
Love is not defined by emotions or fluctuations in hormones. Rather, it is underpinned by intellect and the will. Love in essence is willing the good of another.
amazing video. i am fascinated with the neural activity in our brain and how this is the main source to impact, and control our behaviors. interesting enough is the fact that we possess more than 100 chemicals in our brain that impact our behavior but only three neurotransmitters are responsible for the state of being in love. Congrats to the speaker for this research.
And what are the big 3 please?
@@ivanperez3378 It’s called the Love chemical.
I don't even know why this recommend to me but it was the best explanation since I heard alot of stories and sciences here!
And also her granny is genius without even studying science lol😁i loved the presentation thank you ❤
when you think about this deeply you will realise this makes no sense
Lav explain.
Exactly
but why?
True. I don't know about the girls. But for guys, this is just bs
@@Michael.De.Santa_3006 why? Explain your point of view please
Such an interesting video. So the testosterone drop when men commit explains why you typically see that the population of commited men look less fit and older, less attractive in general. Yes it may be they have less time, less incentive to attract. But it is also a hormonal fight essentially
It probably also happens so they can bond with their children.
Well that sucks for men. It means that when we’re finally ready to commit, we won’t be attractive enough to get married. 😱
so if a married man is still fit and doing the stuff that single people do then is he trying to attract some chicks with out the knowledge of his wife?
Well, thats not quite right. The drop in testosterone is only momentary where men who look less fit in the context you are describing is usually attributed to many factors both mental and physical. Though there is truth in the hormonal fight, especially with respect to imbalance, which seems to be more prevalent in our modern times. Perhaps its a mix of it becoming more understood as well as modern society generating these imbalances at a greater rate. Also our life expectancies are longer and thus this could be something that effects the averages that we base our statistics by.
Im sure the drop isn’t so significant to affect performance because otherwise you wouldn’t see so many boxers and other athletes married
This is why I love science, give's me facts of every detail🤗🤗
A woman should be smart if she doesn't like to be used by men. I agree, guys don't fall in love too easily, therefore you should also not sleep with him too early. Protect your heart from possible heartaches in the future because no one's gonna help you heal except yourself.
A New Love Official learned the hard way and you cannot rush relationships.
That’s true, but tricky sometimes to accomplish when you truly love someone.
Waiting to be physical is challenging for women as it is definitely part of the attraction, protecting your heart is harder if you’re insecure and fearful of rejection.
I would much rather get it right, and wait! Even if I came across too strong in the wrong ways.
*I do not want to put any pressure on someone I love either. Falling in love is a beautiful place to be, it’s a state of mind, a journey for two hearts meeting together. And that’s really a wonderfully special part to enjoy.*
Its a feeling like nothing you ever felt before, it’s beautiful ❤️
Best drug I've ever had
Now I think love is even more complicated then I used to think 😌.
I slept with my bf after fairly quickly for me. I fell in love first. It took him about 8 months to fully commit to me. I can now say he’s genuinely in love with me.
I am falling in love. I literally felt that oxytocin release just by talking to him on FaceTime. His face just reminded me of babies playing...like all the innocence, potential, authenticity.
Update!
@@smaraki9738 😹😹😹
I second. Update please!
@@noemita494 they lived happily ever after
Update?
"Love is the state in which man sees things most of all as they are 'not'. The illusion-creating force is there at its height, likewise the sweetening and 'transforming' force. One endures more when in love than one otherwise would, one tolerates everything..." - FWN
Thanks Ma'am for biochemical clearification of the feeling that people call "Love" in their early maturities. Well I agree with everything that you have said but this is all the lusty physical and mental part of love. Hence, I also believe that Love exists at a higher spiritual level beyond the physical and mental level. If one despite gaining and losing everything that you said, has the person at the same place in heart with the same amount of space then I must say "This is Love Indeed"
I do believe that love is also something that comes from God. Bc of the way He loves us( described in Bible), we can love ourselves and others🩵😭✝️
@@faithbeyondocd4339 God knows our path and puts us on different ones accordingly, long before we ever understand the why’s in life. Part of knowing, is the acceptance to put your faith and trust in Gods hands.
@@guitarsoundsaround honestly I desperately needed this❤️thx so much I had to reread it many times so thx for the encouragement
this is ridiculous.
medically speaking she just mixed a lot of research to prove her point of view . the problem is that you cannot associate a hormone level with longterm effect as falling in love or commitment because the hormones are constantly changing overtime and mood
Hormone shot and a beer works, and love everybody.
She also contradicts herself throughout this talk. Confusing
Are you sure that she "mixed" a bunch of random research? It sounded more like the research related and proved various points while removing other points from the equation.
She is just talking about when we first “fall in love” she never said this happens long term.... but it is the foundation of a steady relationship.
yes! many journal articles simply summarize and put together evidence of other studies in order to gain substance for their points - published scientific journal articles. but also remember that this is just a postulation. she places in key words such as"tends to" because this is a generalization and also a simplification of a complicated emotional and chemical process in a ten minute speech. not to say she has it all figured out either because she doesnt, but its definitely an interesting hypothesis!
There's a reason why teenagers seem so madly in love.
Because our hormones are either sooo high or so down
I like how they tried to show an enzymatic reaction to describe a decrease in something but it only showed the difference between a reaction with a catalyst or not not two different reactions 😂😭
I'm trying to be a romance song writer. Hope you can find some happiness In a song.
Science 😏
Science can't defeat 95 yrs of experience, maybe grandmother didn't know about all those terminologies but she knew the facts behind it
Wonder why I got recommended to this on Valentine’s Day
Same 😂
Her grandmother may think that a committed man is in love, but what about committed men who happen to cheat on their beloved wives? Was that not taken into account?
Committed and cheat don't seem to fit in the same sentence. If I was committed in a relationship, then would I really cheat? :)
He didn´t fall in love
Just one of the many wholes in this speech.
Those men are mentally sick.
Then he is not committed. Mariage is only a game to him, that's not a commitment until it is complete.
i usually never sleep with a guy i just met (not necessarily out of principle but cause i just cant, it feels wrong to have a guy i barely know touch me). However, when i met my boyfriend of 4 years, i knew from the get-go that i wanted to be with him and with him i was ok to let it happen that fast. And since that night he never wanted to let me go home. We spent the next days and nights together for years. Sometimes, when it feels right....just go for it tbh. Everyone and every situation is different
Just when I started having feelings for somebody this pops up in my recommended. Nice.
Ur grandmother is truly brilliant. I wish I had come across this talk of urs long back.
Woow mind blown, great talk everyone needs to watch this
So you mean...I could stop myself from falling in love by blocking these chemicals??????????? Sign me upp
I am about to block my oxytocin
I'm a song writer. Hopefully you can find some happiness in a song.
Me: I’m over him
RUclips: no ur not
Grandma is so right. Never let a guy touch you until he says he loves you and means it. Let the guy develop a genuine interest and an strong emotional attachment and commitment to you before getting physical.
Wow I am completely mind blown, this has solved all of my questions , great ted talk!