✨ Plan your most intentional & successful year with the 2024 Artist of Life Workbook, a powerful guided journal for achieving your dream life → lavendaire.com/workbook
@@boddapaduswathi2664 Baby steps. Start with self-acceptance and work your way from there, observe what you need to change in your life, like bad habits for example. Also, self-love is vital too.
“I expected the world to be better” This is so me!! I have to remind myself every so often that not everyone has the same heart that I do. And that there’re things that I just can’t change. I can only do my part and be the change I’d like to see in the world.
It took me till age 40 to realize this. It's easy to be naive, especially if u were lucky enough raised in a healthy, moral environment. You expect everyone to operate under the general rules you were accustomed to. Big wakeup. There are some evil or misguided actors out there.
This is something that I get so frustrated thnking about especially since covid i get to know about so many racism/hate/discrimination stuffs on social media and as a person of color It's really decreasing my self-worth and killing my happiness. Im an INFJ and I cant stand injustice in this world and Im bein so sad all the time
Omg I feel like that too... it’s really a challenge to experience things without judging them. But it’s always beautiful when we succeed! :) nature and animals always help me feel happy and carefree 💕
I am an idealist too and get disappointed when people don't do better but I also don't want to be judging people and imposing my expectations on others, I respect free will so much. It's such a struggle and sometimes acceptance feels like giving up.
I feel that deeply! I try to give myself a reality check every now and then because I want to think truthly, no matter the outcome, more, than hold on to my idealism 🌿
I get disappointed and the whole day goes me worrying about it... expecting too much is something i should let go of... i should accept what is and be grateful for what is there with me and eventually more greater things will happen! 💛
Aileen has such a healing energy. I always find myself coming back to her videos bc her words are like medicine anytime I go through emotional turbulence 🥺
I can relate, I had my baby two months ago and a lot happened. But I am learning to let go of the suffering I experienced and love myself and my baby girl
✨"Radical Acceptance is the willingness to experience ourselves and our lives as it is!" ✨ Just love and accept yourself as you are...😊 And great video Aileen❤️...
I had to learn to accept people for who they are.. It brings me a sense of peace because I know what they do and how they are so I can’t be mad at them.
I am going through a period of getting my life together bcz I have been holding extremely high expectations and didn't meet them and other events in life caused me to break down completely. Therefore all the recent videos have come very very handy to me. Thank you so much Aileen!!! You were always a big part of my success!!!!! LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCCHHH!!!!!!!!!!
I am going through this exactly! For school I held my expectations high and I did good for the first semester then I hit a small pebble on the road that was unexpected and that just became a tunnel of failure for me and it started to be rocks then big rocks that I would hit and I couldn’t get myself back up anymore. School is almost over so I’m just happy about that but this is had me but really hard on myself. It’s like I was at my best then I’m at my worst. Well lol, I like to believe there was a reason this video popped up on my RUclips so I will just start binge watching all these videos that she does!!!! She is so therapeutic, luv her already ❤️❤️ I hope wellness overall mentally and physically for you! Have a great day !!!
oof i struggle a lot with having expectations of other people. i think it's because i tend to be more on the giving side and just expect everyone else to be the same way. something i heard recently was "stop expecting you from other people" and it really changed my perspective. thank you for sharing Aileen! this is such an important message 💖
And here I thought I was the only one like this, it is so nice to know that there are other people like me too. And that quote is great thanks fo sharing
I have just stopped “giving” with the intention of getting something back. Instead I give, because it makes me feel good. And that is freeing ☺️ people will give back if they feel like it, and if they dont, thats fine too
This helped SOOOO much… my anxiety gets so high about things that are out of my control and that go against my expectations. Listening to each acceptance concept was very releasing of that anxiety and helped me to feel a sense of peace. I will be revisiting this video many times, I am sure! Thank you so much for all you do!
I was expected to be this funny person, the comedian of my friends group. Always had to be happy, and willing to go out and do whatever it is everyone else was doing. Meanwhile I was extremely depressed the whole time. I was expected to succeed In school and be a genius.it really broke me, I had a huge meltdown, after that I just let it all go. I stopped being what they wanted, I allowed myself to be openly sad. Told them all, I wasn't what they wanted. I lost those friends, but gained friends years later that accept and love me. I believed everyday I would have the friends i have now. It was through your videos that I broke free from that shell that was ruining my life! You're amazing and I love you. I'm so much happier and I watch your videos every time you upload!
"You allowing yourself to stay hurt by the hurtful actions that people have done to you in the past, that in a way is you not accepting reality." Thank you for this. I just recently left a pretty abusive relationship and everyone in my life doesn't understand why I'm not angry or bitter with him. That isn't the case. I feel like staying angry is staying stuck in your hurt and I really can't do that to myself. He simply wasn't who I expected him to be. It's okay to grieve. But I'm not angry because I reached acceptance.
I gotta say. Productivity RUclipsrs tend to sound eternally out of touch- even during the Summer 2020 protests, COVID, etc. However, this video is golden. Other productivity RUclipsrs need to follow your example. You have a great head on your shoulders, and truly are a leader in this space. THANK YOU FOR YOUR MESSAGE!
This resonated with me so much! I always thought of acceptance as settling in life, but it's not like that at all. It is accepting where you are right now. Letting go of things in your past that you can not change and things in your present that you can not change. When you just accept everything in your life and move on, it allows you to see more clearly the positives in your life. And it allows you to move forward and create an amazing life, free from stress and negative emotions brought on by fixating on things you can not change!
💕✨A little journaling to do after the video: 1. What are your expectations about yourself? Are they realistic? Where do they come from? 2. What are the expectations you have about others? Make examples. Were you hurt in the past because of your expectations? 3. What are your expectations about the world? Can you really change it or is it easier to accept?
Wow, that just brought me to tears (in a good way:) I tend to have a lot of expectations towards myself. But it’s so important to remind myself that I don’t need to be perfect in order to love and accept myself. Thank you for sharing, Aileen💞💞
I love radical acceptance. I think of using it for specific events where I feel incredibly distressed, particularly because I learned about it through a DBT module online. This video has given me a new view on radical acceptance.
I really needed this because yesterday i failed in something and I literally told myself "you don't deserve anything if you couldn't do this" I know that is really wrong
So Aileen is speaking on my life here. 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽💌 My mom died a month ago. My expectations vs accepting the reality that she's gone has been the largest battle. I thought she'd be there to go on summer cruises with, or whenever I walked down the aisle or got around to having children. There are so many memories I planned to have with her that can never happen now. And that's reality, neither good or bad just a fact. These feelings though, don't feel good. It is not an easy reality to walk in.
I love how you talk in your videos lately... I feel YOU and I can see that topics you are focusing on are something that you really wanted to talk about with us.... 💜 Your messages in this video are golden ✨✨✨✨ thank you as always 💜💜💜💜
Thank you for sharing this Aileen. Especially accepting your family for who they are but not allowing them to change you. I am gradually learning to embrace uncertainty, vulnerability, and self acceptance. Thanks for sharing your honesty and wisdom! 💕
wow I paused this video so many times to have a moment to rethink about the emotions and expectations I have on myself and other people - so interesting on how you can feel so differently after shifting your perspective!
Totally relate to a lot of these comments here. My parents always had high expectations from me and wanted me to live the life that they wanted. It took some serious self reflection and a long journey to figure out I wasn't really living the life I wanted. Glad to say I'm getting better at discovering more about myself instead of trying to constantly please others especially my parents. Very beautiful video. :)
Thank you so much for this video. I've heard of this concept of radical acceptance for the first time recently and am trying to understand it, and you presented the essentials in a such a simple, direct, and clear way that helped me to understand more. Thanks!
wow i kinda agree with this radical acceptance but sure i dont think it's that easy it needs practice cuz for me i find it hard not to let my mind running through thoughts of expectations i think this is really important and need to exist in our lives
Radical acceptance is about accepting the life circumstances you find yourself in. You can’t change the current situation so you have to accept it. My husband just died and so dealing with this trauma has been so difficult especially with two kids. I kept thinking why me? Why him? What if? Once I accepted that I can’t bring him back and no matter what happened I cannot bring him back. Even if I had started CPR sooner or had clued into the fact that he was dying it won’t bring him back. He was perfectly healthy and then dead and nothing can change that. No amount of worry can change it. That is radical acceptance of the situation as it is. This will save your life and it is certainly saving mine.
For me I have a lot of expectations about myself and others and a lot of them are tangled up with a poor view of relationships. I've struggled with anger, bitterness due to past traumas and broken relationships and entitlement and I'm trying now to know that no one owes me anything at all just as I owe no one or no thing 💫A N Y T H I N G💫 about myself to them. I 💫🔥C A N💫🔥 have balance and change in my life. I can look at things realistically. I can have multiple relationships. I can be balanced. I can be self-critical and recognize my flaws. I can be myself. I can accept myself. I can change. I can appreciate the good and bad and nuances of people. Accept them FOR WHO THEY ARE not for what they can do for me or how they've hurt me. I can forgive. I can not lash out in anger. I can heal. I can ask for forgiveness that DOES NOT ≠ reconciliation. I can adapt and accept that things & people will change. I can accept people and things and myself for how I am.
Highly recommend the book Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach to further explore this. I believe she’s who popularized this idea and she also has her own RUclips channel where she talks about this topic, meditation, and Buddhism :) 💕
I found that when I did this I actually enjoyed the process and challenges of learning and it reflected into my highest grades, rather than getting frustrated and hated studying
*i cant stop crying today and then i watched this upload. I'm still beating myself up but for the 14 minutes i watched this video I felt alittle better about my body image, my stuckness in life and depression.*
This was so very eye opening. It is such a hard concept to grasp, and I feel you helped to make it a little more clear for sure! Just when I would be getting lost in what you were saying you would bring it all back in place. Thank you for sharing and being such a beautiful human! ❤
wow the timing is perfect. im not even kidding, i was just crying and felt rly down and then i come here on youtube and see a video from u. i havent even started watching the vid yet but u always help me sm so thank you ily
I can be super critical of myself and others and always feel anxious and disappointed when things don’t go the way I imagined... trying really hard to accept that part of myself, show more compassion and hopefully slowly change 🌼💕
This is such a necessary video, I wish that more people knew this. Just having you as a content creator to start spreading the message is a step in the right direction. Here's to breaking our self-limiting beliefs and working towards radical acceptance to the amazing, flawed, unique human beings we all are!
Definitely gonna practice this....loved the whole concept of radical acceptance. This video came at the perfect time as i am going through a lot right now....and i guess all i need now is acceptance.😊
This reminds me of the serenity prayer. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can And the wisdom to know the difference between the two.
I really needed this. Yesterday, I cried a lot because I didn't get an award at my high school and wasn't great as my friend. what's worse is that she's not going to the same school I'm going to, and I'm shy when it comes to making friends + hesitant. So it's difficult for me. But I forgot that my goal was a simple 4.0 gpa at the end of my hs career because last three years I didn't do good, so that's reasonable, right? yet, I still got upset and felt worthless, not smart, nor appreciated. I have high expectations for myself and I just couldn't accept what had happened, until after our senior walk, and I realized that's the greatest accomplishment for me, after all, I made it. my parents aren't even setting expectations for me, other than just being myself + kind & respectful. it's just me... HAHA but after watching this video, it cleared my mind more. thank you
Lately I've finished my finals and been extremely stressed and anxious about my results.. Thank you so much for this video since it made me much calmer :)
I'm going through a similar rough time and have been since I graduated last year. Graduating university during a pandemic is hard and I wanted a ceremony and it would have been so good. I had a grad trip planned with my best friend to Hawaii and my mom had a job with an airline so I was going to do a lot of cheap travel. BUt I'm still alive and these things still might happen one day.
Accept things for what they are. Expectations is a way of being in control (wanting things to come out your way). We don’t have control of anything that happens outside of us. Relieve yourself from the pressure of expectations! From a self love content creator to another; this video is beautiful and so relatable! ❤️
Omg I just woke up, and I thought for 2 whole minutes that the title was “Racial Acceptance” 😂 And I was so ready to hear it because I’m middle-eastern. Radical acceptance is such a good topic. Lemme just 😅 go back to listening, now. Lol!
love this concept, but i would love to add on that after acceptance comes the growth mindset :)) i think in times of hardship and pain, giving yourself the dialogue of acceptance is much easier said than done 😪 Putting into practice the mindset of “this was painful, but what can i learn from this experience” can also make you more resilient for the future times you have ethan recurring feeling ☺️ otherwise, you might be bottling yourself to not feel those emotions by telling yourself to just accept it~ just my personal thoughts from my own experience with this :)) love your content as always aileen ❤️
Dear Lavendaire, I watched this video last night before I went to bed. This morning, I was out on my walk and I think I can apply this concept of radical acceptance of the world. "Accepting the world as it is". On my daily walk outside in nature in my neighborhood I always see trash on the ground (empty bottles, beer cans, food containers, tissues, etc.) and this bothers me! It almost makes me not enjoy my walk because I see this trash in our beautiful nature neighborhood. I wish people would not litter and instead put their trash into the trash container. However, I will try to accept the world as it is so that I can enjoy my walks! I know there will always be litter.
I'm just halfway through the video and can relate it word by word. It's almost a year since I've been following you and I'm so glad I found you. The person that I am today is much stronger and the credit goes to you🥺🥺🥺 Had this video come up 2 years ago, it would not have let me go through such tough times but as you know..the Universe has it's own timing and lessons to teach you. You're doing a wonderful job Aileen, mending lives of many like mine. Here to support you always❤️❤️
Please do not stop doing this channel ❤ Every videos in this channel means a lot to me :) whenever I feel stress or down, it helps me pass through everything😊
*To all the dreamers out there, don't ever let the world's negativity disenchant you or your spirit. If you surround yourself with love and right people, ANYTHING is possible.* 🙏🖤
U are amazing 🤠🙂. I will see ur comments here and there. U always radiate positivity and happiness through ur words. Somehow whenever I feel low, I come across your comments and that kind of energises me up. Thank u ☺️ buddy🤗🤗. Keep good work going
Aileen,I can't thank you enough for this video,radical acceptance really does set you "free"...I didn't realise how much I expect from my friendships,my family and myself!When i did that exercise you mentioned in the beginning, something shifted in me...I felt so peaceful! Can't explain it clearly...but thank uuu!
Thank you is not enough how grateful I am to discovered your channel, you really the one who guided me through life, to be the best version of myself lots of love.
I definitely was brought up to perform. My parents had expectations for me and I realized that my entire life I didnt know what I wanted for myself because my parents were always the ones making decisions for me. I had no sense of self and it has taken a LOT of self discovery and therapy to figure out what was best for me and truly discover who I was
@@billybobandboshow yeah I was raised to show tangible things despite being a woman I was brought gender neutral Like they told me Think n act like a man
I am so thi,kful for this video because iam in this situation for years and i didnit recognise that truth, and i am still suffering because of that and i didn't know how to deal with it.so thanks a lot
This was really helpful, especially for the start of my busy work week. I often put myself down when I don’t meet my own expectations and this help grounded me. :)
I can relate to you. I'm just like you and yes I need to have that radical acceptance. I have always been aware of it but it was so difficult for me to be consistent on it, so yeah, haha, radical acceptance can also be inserted there, that it won't be consistent overnight and there will be times I will stumble. Perfect timing for me to hear your words. 💜 Stay safe and take care. Sending much love to you, Aileen 💜🌻
Thank you so much. You’re explanation of this resonated with me and really helped me grasp a much better understanding of radical acceptance. Keep up your great work 🙏
Hi Aileen! I just learned about your channel recently and I’m like binge watching your videos already. There’s this calmness in your voice that makes me feel at peace (plus you aesthetically pleasing background ofcourse). Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us. I hope you’ll be blessed more! Take care!❤️
Hi girlie! Loved this video! have subscribed and will be watching more. This was so helpful. One thing that I wrote down in my notebook: When you say, why cant you accept that there are good people and bad people in the world. I couldn't write this down because I don't beleive it. I don't believe that there are bad people in the world (although I am open to the idea that this beleif is wrong and naive). Instead of that I wrote "why cant you believe that there are people who are for you, not for you, and against you in the world". Just thought I would share my thoughts. Lots of love to you ❤
I've recently accepted my spouse as he is. I found out that most of my disappointment is from my expectations of him. I am in love with the idea of what he should be as my husband. I am not perfect so I should not expect him to be perfect as well. I now have peace of mind. Being angry all the time is emotionally draining.
✨ Plan your most intentional & successful year with the 2024 Artist of Life Workbook, a powerful guided journal for achieving your dream life → lavendaire.com/workbook
*“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending...”*
*―C. S. Lewis*
love it❤️
@@sophiamac687 🙏🙏
But what to do when you don't know what to start and from where to start
@@boddapaduswathi2664 Baby steps. Start with self-acceptance and work your way from there, observe what you need to change in your life, like bad habits for example. Also, self-love is vital too.
A secret to happiness is letting every situation be what it is, instead of what you think it should be.
That nice 8]
Not the easiest practice but oh so powerful ☀️✨
True
THIS IS SOOOOO HARD THOUGH. I AM A COMPLETE CONTROL FREAK AND THIS IS THE HARDEST THING FOR ME!!
Yes, acknowledge it and keep going. If you put in the effort and have the right expectations you will be fine.
“I expected the world to be better” This is so me!! I have to remind myself every so often that not everyone has the same heart that I do. And that there’re things that I just can’t change. I can only do my part and be the change I’d like to see in the world.
Yuppp
So true
It took me till age 40 to realize this. It's easy to be naive, especially if u were lucky enough raised in a healthy, moral environment. You expect everyone to operate under the general rules you were accustomed to. Big wakeup. There are some evil or misguided actors out there.
This is something that I get so frustrated thnking about especially since covid i get to know about so many racism/hate/discrimination stuffs on social media and as a person of color It's really decreasing my self-worth and killing my happiness. Im an INFJ and I cant stand injustice in this world and Im bein so sad all the time
Yah exactly
I always tell myself I want to go through life like a child, being amazed by everything and not expecting anything.. it's so hard to implement though
Love that
Omg I feel like that too... it’s really a challenge to experience things without judging them. But it’s always beautiful when we succeed! :) nature and animals always help me feel happy and carefree 💕
YES FACTS ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
And have others feed, clothe and bathe you :P
I accept myself
I accept others
I accept reality
I am free!!!
Simple but lovely summary
I am an idealist too and get disappointed when people don't do better but I also don't want to be judging people and imposing my expectations on others, I respect free will so much. It's such a struggle and sometimes acceptance feels like giving up.
I feel that deeply! I try to give myself a reality check every now and then because I want to think truthly, no matter the outcome, more, than hold on to my idealism 🌿
I feel like you are my therapist sometimes 😩😂 you give the best advice 🌸
Hehe love u 💓
@@lavendaire Love u 3000 Lol 😁😂
I get disappointed and the whole day goes me worrying about it... expecting too much is something i should let go of... i should accept what is and be grateful for what is there with me and eventually more greater things will happen! 💛
Hey army
@@latapatil2659 Hey Army!💜
Hi ARMY
It happens to me to too. I start not to expect too much. I also start to enjoy things just the way they are.
@@hollynamjoon1083 Hi Army! Enjoying and accepting things just the way they are makes us more grateful and stress free! Keep going Army!💜
Law of attraction
Hi I am here's from India🇮🇳🇮🇳.... Pls all pray for us.. To get soon recover 🙏🙏🙏.
☀️✨✨✨
May Allah bless all of you ..and our brothers and sisters in Palestine 🤲
So true all the prayers me too frm India
Aileen has such a healing energy. I always find myself coming back to her videos bc her words are like medicine anytime I go through emotional turbulence 🥺
Amen sistah 🤗☀️
🥺💓
This is exactly what I needed. Now that I am pregnant I’m trying to learn to love myself and accept that I cannot control everything.
Oh that is such a beautiful gift for your baby 🌸🤗☀️✨
I can relate, I had my baby two months ago and a lot happened. But I am learning to let go of the suffering I experienced and love myself and my baby girl
@@sheilamogadime8681 sending love and prayers for you ❤️❤️❤️
@@00Mercredi00Thank you dear
Congratulations! Of course you cannot control everything but you can control how you raise your child
You would be a great mum
Sending love ❤
✨"Radical Acceptance is the willingness to experience ourselves and our lives as it is!" ✨
Just love and accept yourself as you are...😊 And great video Aileen❤️...
I really need this right now. Acceptance. Forgiveness. Gratitude.
"Increase appreciation, decrease expectation."
I had to learn to accept people for who they are.. It brings me a sense of peace because I know what they do and how they are so I can’t be mad at them.
It is so powerful, not easy!! But oh so powerful ☀️
The sunshine falling on her hand is looking soo divine 🥰🥰🥰
😍🤩
I am going through a period of getting my life together bcz I have been holding extremely high expectations and didn't meet them and other events in life caused me to break down completely. Therefore all the recent videos have come very very handy to me. Thank you so much Aileen!!!
You were always a big part of my success!!!!!
LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCCHHH!!!!!!!!!!
I am going through this exactly! For school I held my expectations high and I did good for the first semester then I hit a small pebble on the road that was unexpected and that just became a tunnel of failure for me and it started to be rocks then big rocks that I would hit and I couldn’t get myself back up anymore. School is almost over so I’m just happy about that but this is had me but really hard on myself. It’s like I was at my best then I’m at my worst. Well lol, I like to believe there was a reason this video popped up on my RUclips so I will just start binge watching all these videos that she does!!!! She is so therapeutic, luv her already ❤️❤️ I hope wellness overall mentally and physically for you! Have a great day !!!
@@strawberrydaurto3366 same (
oof i struggle a lot with having expectations of other people. i think it's because i tend to be more on the giving side and just expect everyone else to be the same way. something i heard recently was "stop expecting you from other people" and it really changed my perspective. thank you for sharing Aileen! this is such an important message 💖
I totally relate to this!!! I still have to learn because my emotions still get ahead of me
And here I thought I was the only one like this, it is so nice to know that there are other people like me too. And that quote is great thanks fo sharing
This resonates with me so much, too!
Wow, I love that saying 'stop expecting you from other people', definitely going to keep that one! Thanks for posting.
I have just stopped “giving” with the intention of getting something back. Instead I give, because it makes me feel good. And that is freeing ☺️ people will give back if they feel like it, and if they dont, thats fine too
This helped SOOOO much… my anxiety gets so high about things that are out of my control and that go against my expectations. Listening to each acceptance concept was very releasing of that anxiety and helped me to feel a sense of peace. I will be revisiting this video many times, I am sure! Thank you so much for all you do!
I remember learning about this concept in the Happiness Podcast and have been trying to get better at radical acceptance ever since.
I was expected to be this funny person, the comedian of my friends group. Always had to be happy, and willing to go out and do whatever it is everyone else was doing. Meanwhile I was extremely depressed the whole time. I was expected to succeed In school and be a genius.it really broke me, I had a huge meltdown, after that I just let it all go. I stopped being what they wanted, I allowed myself to be openly sad. Told them all, I wasn't what they wanted. I lost those friends, but gained friends years later that accept and love me. I believed everyday I would have the friends i have now.
It was through your videos that I broke free from that shell that was ruining my life! You're amazing and I love you. I'm so much happier and I watch your videos every time you upload!
"You allowing yourself to stay hurt by the hurtful actions that people have done to you in the past, that in a way is you not accepting reality." Thank you for this. I just recently left a pretty abusive relationship and everyone in my life doesn't understand why I'm not angry or bitter with him. That isn't the case. I feel like staying angry is staying stuck in your hurt and I really can't do that to myself. He simply wasn't who I expected him to be. It's okay to grieve. But I'm not angry because I reached acceptance.
I gotta say. Productivity RUclipsrs tend to sound eternally out of touch- even during the Summer 2020 protests, COVID, etc. However, this video is golden. Other productivity RUclipsrs need to follow your example. You have a great head on your shoulders, and truly are a leader in this space. THANK YOU FOR YOUR MESSAGE!
This resonated with me so much! I always thought of acceptance as settling in life, but it's not like that at all. It is accepting where you are right now. Letting go of things in your past that you can not change and things in your present that you can not change. When you just accept everything in your life and move on, it allows you to see more clearly the positives in your life. And it allows you to move forward and create an amazing life, free from stress and negative emotions brought on by fixating on things you can not change!
💕✨A little journaling to do after the video:
1. What are your expectations about yourself? Are they realistic? Where do they come from?
2. What are the expectations you have about others? Make examples. Were you hurt in the past because of your expectations?
3. What are your expectations about the world? Can you really change it or is it easier to accept?
Wow, that just brought me to tears (in a good way:) I tend to have a lot of expectations towards myself. But it’s so important to remind myself that I don’t need to be perfect in order to love and accept myself. Thank you for sharing, Aileen💞💞
Im with you
I love radical acceptance. I think of using it for specific events where I feel incredibly distressed, particularly because I learned about it through a DBT module online.
This video has given me a new view on radical acceptance.
I really needed this because yesterday i failed in something and I literally told myself "you don't deserve anything if you couldn't do this" I know that is really wrong
1. Radical self acceptance
2. Radical self acceptance of others
3. Radical self acceptance of the world
Beautiful video as always :)
So Aileen is speaking on my life here. 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽💌
My mom died a month ago. My expectations vs accepting the reality that she's gone has been the largest battle. I thought she'd be there to go on summer cruises with, or whenever I walked down the aisle or got around to having children. There are so many memories I planned to have with her that can never happen now. And that's reality, neither good or bad just a fact. These feelings though, don't feel good. It is not an easy reality to walk in.
I love how you talk in your videos lately... I feel YOU and I can see that topics you are focusing on are something that you really wanted to talk about with us.... 💜 Your messages in this video are golden ✨✨✨✨ thank you as always 💜💜💜💜
🙌🏻😍
Thank you!
Thank you for sharing this Aileen. Especially accepting your family for who they are but not allowing them to change you. I am gradually learning to embrace uncertainty, vulnerability, and self acceptance. Thanks for sharing your honesty and wisdom! 💕
from 8th minute, it was the best expression of this emotion that I saw till now
wow I paused this video so many times to have a moment to rethink about the emotions and expectations I have on myself and other people - so interesting on how you can feel so differently after shifting your perspective!
Totally relate to a lot of these comments here. My parents always had high expectations from me and wanted me to live the life that they wanted. It took some serious self reflection and a long journey to figure out I wasn't really living the life I wanted. Glad to say I'm getting better at discovering more about myself instead of trying to constantly please others especially my parents. Very beautiful video. :)
Thank you so much for this video. I've heard of this concept of radical acceptance for the first time recently and am trying to understand it, and you presented the essentials in a such a simple, direct, and clear way that helped me to understand more. Thanks!
wow i kinda agree with this radical acceptance but sure i dont think it's that easy it needs practice cuz for me i find it hard not to let my mind running through thoughts of expectations i think this is really important and need to exist in our lives
My dad used to tell me often, "to be aware is to be alive." Your video is the literal illustration of that mantra. 👍🏽
Loved this, I recently truly started radical acceptance, stoicism it is indeed a fundamental aspect of inner peace.
Radical acceptance is about accepting the life circumstances you find yourself in. You can’t change the current situation so you have to accept it. My husband just died and so dealing with this trauma has been so difficult especially with two kids. I kept thinking why me? Why him? What if? Once I accepted that I can’t bring him back and no matter what happened I cannot bring him back. Even if I had started CPR sooner or had clued into the fact that he was dying it won’t bring him back. He was perfectly healthy and then dead and nothing can change that. No amount of worry can change it. That is radical acceptance of the situation as it is. This will save your life and it is certainly saving mine.
For me I have a lot of expectations about myself and others and a lot of them are tangled up with a poor view of relationships. I've struggled with anger, bitterness due to past traumas and broken relationships and entitlement and I'm trying now to know that no one owes me anything at all just as I owe no one or no thing 💫A N Y T H I N G💫 about myself to them.
I 💫🔥C A N💫🔥 have balance and change in my life.
I can look at things realistically.
I can have multiple relationships.
I can be balanced.
I can be self-critical and recognize my flaws.
I can be myself.
I can accept myself.
I can change.
I can appreciate the good and bad and nuances of people.
Accept them FOR WHO THEY ARE not for what they can do for me or how they've hurt me.
I can forgive.
I can not lash out in anger.
I can heal.
I can ask for forgiveness that DOES NOT ≠ reconciliation.
I can adapt and accept that things & people will change.
I can accept people and things and myself for how I am.
Highly recommend the book Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach to further explore this. I believe she’s who popularized this idea and she also has her own RUclips channel where she talks about this topic, meditation, and Buddhism :) 💕
Tara Brach is an incredible teacher. Her Podcast is also a great resource!
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this made me realise that i should rather give my best in my studies rather than expecting myself to be perfect at it.
tysm :)
🤩 go sistah ☀️
I found that when I did this I actually enjoyed the process and challenges of learning and it reflected into my highest grades, rather than getting frustrated and hated studying
*i cant stop crying today and then i watched this upload. I'm still beating myself up but for the 14 minutes i watched this video I felt alittle better about my body image, my stuckness in life and depression.*
I pray to universe that you may heal soon..keep your head up girl...life will get better.. good things are on your way..
@@nikitarijal5922 thank you Nikita! I need all the prayers.
Watching this before my phone died
"You are who you are" and my screen turns black and i see myself. Almost teared
Thank you so much for this🥺 I’m actually feeling really terrible about myself these past few months and I really needed this video❤️
be kind to yourself, Yolan.
@@AnisQiz thank you! I’ll definitely try!
This was so very eye opening. It is such a hard concept to grasp, and I feel you helped to make it a little more clear for sure! Just when I would be getting lost in what you were saying you would bring it all back in place. Thank you for sharing and being such a beautiful human! ❤
wow the timing is perfect. im not even kidding, i was just crying and felt rly down and then i come here on youtube and see a video from u. i havent even started watching the vid yet but u always help me sm so thank you ily
Hope your day turns around 💕
@@sourgreendolly7685 thank you. hope ur doing well too
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I can be super critical of myself and others and always feel anxious and disappointed when things don’t go the way I imagined... trying really hard to accept that part of myself, show more compassion and hopefully slowly change 🌼💕
Also, you’re so sweet hearted. I’m so happy you’re a part of the world I live in 🙏🏻
Bang on time ! Your video today is a sign from Universe to me that all is well! I am taken care of :-) Thank you so very much ! Love and light
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This is such a necessary video, I wish that more people knew this. Just having you as a content creator to start spreading the message is a step in the right direction.
Here's to breaking our self-limiting beliefs and working towards radical acceptance to the amazing, flawed, unique human beings we all are!
Definitely gonna practice this....loved the whole concept of radical acceptance. This video came at the perfect time as i am going through a lot right now....and i guess all i need now is acceptance.😊
This reminds me of the serenity prayer.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference between the two.
I really needed this. Yesterday, I cried a lot because I didn't get an award at my high school and wasn't great as my friend. what's worse is that she's not going to the same school I'm going to, and I'm shy when it comes to making friends + hesitant. So it's difficult for me. But I forgot that my goal was a simple 4.0 gpa at the end of my hs career because last three years I didn't do good, so that's reasonable, right? yet, I still got upset and felt worthless, not smart, nor appreciated. I have high expectations for myself and I just couldn't accept what had happened, until after our senior walk, and I realized that's the greatest accomplishment for me, after all, I made it.
my parents aren't even setting expectations for me, other than just being myself + kind & respectful.
it's just me... HAHA but after watching this video, it cleared my mind more. thank you
Times doesn't heal everything. But acceptance will heal everything.
Dear Aileen, the world is much more better and beautiful✨ place just for you! 💛
Aileen ma'am how are u so relatable 😭
Lately I've finished my finals and been extremely stressed and anxious about my results.. Thank you so much for this video since it made me much calmer :)
I'm going through a similar rough time and have been since I graduated last year. Graduating university during a pandemic is hard and I wanted a ceremony and it would have been so good. I had a grad trip planned with my best friend to Hawaii and my mom had a job with an airline so I was going to do a lot of cheap travel. BUt I'm still alive and these things still might happen one day.
Just when I was putting myself down and having a bad day, this video pops up on my feed!! Thank you soooo much for this :))
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Accept things for what they are. Expectations is a way of being in control (wanting things to come out your way). We don’t have control of anything that happens outside of us. Relieve yourself from the pressure of expectations!
From a self love content creator to another; this video is beautiful and so relatable! ❤️
You are wise beyond your years. ❤
That was beautifully said. Thank you && thank you Aileen!!!!
Omg I just woke up, and I thought for 2 whole minutes that the title was “Racial Acceptance” 😂 And I was so ready to hear it because I’m middle-eastern.
Radical acceptance is such a good topic. Lemme just 😅 go back to listening, now. Lol!
love this concept, but i would love to add on that after acceptance comes the growth mindset :)) i think in times of hardship and pain, giving yourself the dialogue of acceptance is much easier said than done 😪 Putting into practice the mindset of “this was painful, but what can i learn from this experience” can also make you more resilient for the future times you have ethan recurring feeling ☺️ otherwise, you might be bottling yourself to not feel those emotions by telling yourself to just accept it~ just my personal thoughts from my own experience with this :)) love your content as always aileen ❤️
The self accepting part hit hard.
Your video impressed me a lot. A process to feel happy with others: radical acceptance, forgiveness, and gratitude ✨
Dear Lavendaire, I watched this video last night before I went to bed. This morning, I was out on my walk and I think I can apply this concept of radical acceptance of the world. "Accepting the world as it is". On my daily walk outside in nature in my neighborhood I always see trash on the ground (empty bottles, beer cans, food containers, tissues, etc.) and this bothers me! It almost makes me not enjoy my walk because I see this trash in our beautiful nature neighborhood. I wish people would not litter and instead put their trash into the trash container. However, I will try to accept the world as it is so that I can enjoy my walks! I know there will always be litter.
I'm just halfway through the video and can relate it word by word. It's almost a year since I've been following you and I'm so glad I found you. The person that I am today is much stronger and the credit goes to you🥺🥺🥺 Had this video come up 2 years ago, it would not have let me go through such tough times but as you know..the Universe has it's own timing and lessons to teach you. You're doing a wonderful job Aileen, mending lives of many like mine. Here to support you always❤️❤️
Please do not stop doing this channel ❤ Every videos in this channel means a lot to me :) whenever I feel stress or down, it helps me pass through everything😊
One of your best videos... I couldn't help myself crying... 💕
*To all the dreamers out there, don't ever let the world's negativity disenchant you or your spirit. If you surround yourself with love and right people, ANYTHING is possible.* 🙏🖤
U are amazing 🤠🙂. I will see ur comments here and there. U always radiate positivity and happiness through ur words. Somehow whenever I feel low, I come across your comments and that kind of energises me up. Thank u ☺️ buddy🤗🤗. Keep good work going
Aileen,I can't thank you enough for this video,radical acceptance really does set you "free"...I didn't realise how much I expect from my friendships,my family and myself!When i did that exercise you mentioned in the beginning, something shifted in me...I felt so peaceful! Can't explain it clearly...but thank uuu!
Thank you is not enough how grateful I am to discovered your channel, you really the one who guided me through life, to be the best version of myself lots of love.
You have made a positive impact on this world
Aileen, everything you say makes so much sense and gives me and many hope. Just watching one of your videos instantly makes me feel better.
This topic hits me. I got disappointed when things came out differently, I need to accept it yeah I must! Thank you Lavendaire for the words 😘
Thank you for sharing acceptance with many. Please continue to do so.
YOUR VIDEOS ARE ALWAYS SO HELPFUL. THANK YOU & LOVE YOU AILEEN
Thank you for videos. I've been watching for 3 years or more and it helped recover from stress. ☆
Lavendaire is the first thing comes into my mind when I needed practical advice for life. Oh and bible as well!❤️
I definitely was brought up to perform. My parents had expectations for me and I realized that my entire life I didnt know what I wanted for myself because my parents were always the ones making decisions for me. I had no sense of self and it has taken a LOT of self discovery and therapy to figure out what was best for me and truly discover who I was
Ugghhh.. Parents(My dad only) is toxic
Ahah, I think we're watching the same creators/topics. Anyways, same
I’m the exact same freaken way :( at least I’m in therapy, u are not alone, we are in this together ❤️
@@billybobandboshow yeah
I was raised to show tangible things despite being a woman
I was brought gender neutral
Like they told me
Think n act like a man
Same thing happened to me. I have no sense of who I am and self worth, because of how my parents treat me. I had to start from scratch in college.
I am so thi,kful for this video because iam in this situation for years and i didnit recognise that truth, and i am still suffering because of that and i didn't know how to deal with it.so thanks a lot
Aielin Lots of love from Bangladesh you just inspire me everyday
this video speaks to me to much :') THANK YOU FOR MAKING THIS, it is so important!!!!
Aileen you know your videos are so amazing every time I watch it I gain so much knowledge from there thank you 💞
This was really helpful, especially for the start of my busy work week. I often put myself down when I don’t meet my own expectations and this help grounded me. :)
i really need this, thank you so much for sharing aileen. now i know how to accept reality that comes from my expectation
Your vids are the things that inspire me to livee Ilysm!!!!
You're truly a blessing for me ❤️🥺
Your words goes deep to my heart and i always feel like its especially for me... I feel the same situation in life... Love u 💝💝💝
I can relate to you. I'm just like you and yes I need to have that radical acceptance. I have always been aware of it but it was so difficult for me to be consistent on it, so yeah, haha, radical acceptance can also be inserted there, that it won't be consistent overnight and there will be times I will stumble. Perfect timing for me to hear your words. 💜 Stay safe and take care. Sending much love to you, Aileen 💜🌻
Thank you for reminding me of my worth. Great timing. ❤
Thank you so much. You’re explanation of this resonated with me and really helped me grasp a much better understanding of radical acceptance. Keep up your great work 🙏
I love it! Perfect timing, I wrote down every word to let it sink in. That’s the lesson I need to learn
Thank you so much Aileen for bringing this up. I really do hope you'll see my email for you.❤
Hi Aileen! This is exactly what I needed to hear today. 🥲♥️✨ Thank you! Hope all is well with you ♥️♥️♥️
Hi Aileen! I just learned about your channel recently and I’m like binge watching your videos already. There’s this calmness in your voice that makes me feel at peace (plus you aesthetically pleasing background ofcourse). Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us. I hope you’ll be blessed more! Take care!❤️
I am VERY impressed by your WISDOM♥️
Hi girlie! Loved this video! have subscribed and will be watching more. This was so helpful. One thing that I wrote down in my notebook: When you say, why cant you accept that there are good people and bad people in the world. I couldn't write this down because I don't beleive it. I don't believe that there are bad people in the world (although I am open to the idea that this beleif is wrong and naive). Instead of that I wrote "why cant you believe that there are people who are for you, not for you, and against you in the world". Just thought I would share my thoughts. Lots of love to you ❤
I've recently accepted my spouse as he is. I found out that most of my disappointment is from my expectations of him. I am in love with the idea of what he should be as my husband. I am not perfect so I should not expect him to be perfect as well. I now have peace of mind. Being angry all the time is emotionally draining.
I'll advice you reach out directly on whtsapp for further guidance
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