My wife is moving…but I’m not going with her! | Reddit Stories
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r/BestofRedditorUpdates - My wife is moving out of state and I can’t leave with her
r/BestofRedditorUpdates - Caught My wife sending pics to BIL is our marriage is salvageable at this point?
r/AITA - AITA for telling my wife that she needs to seriously work on her mental and physical toughness
Note: stories are often abbreviated, find the story at the top of the description
#redditstories #reddit #funnyredditposts
OKOP okay op okay storytime ok storytime
I have nerve problems due to some medical issues and the most ridiculous things can cause me unbearable pain. Even simple things like a hug can either make me cry or make me very angry some days.
My medical issue was diagnosed by a paramedic friend when i talked about some of the symptoms i had been going through in passing (he actually gave two but one was immediately discounted through blood tests). When mentioned to my doctor if that could be the issue, my doctor said nope you're to young to have anything like that. It took seeing a specialist to confirm my paramedic friend was infact correct.
Doctors dont know everything and they know even less about womens physical health, as most medical studies are based upon the male anatomy. The lady in the story may very well have an undiagnosed condition, causing her reaction to pain. So please dont belittle someones reaction to pain, just because to you it seems over the top.
I’m so sorry you’ve been having to go through that and hope that some kind of treatment has been able to bring relief now that you know what it is ❤
I lowkey wish that all of their recordings had us chat there on the side to add our perspectives, because something like that is probably something they have no knowledge of. Would be cool if we’d be able to share things like that during their recordings and have a person dedicated to monitoring the chat for potentially important details like that and shout them out for relevant stories so that those can be added to the story recording
In this first story I am just wondering why he is not considering moving to the new state with his wife and then flying back to visit his kids every other weekend or special events.
A round trip flight twice a month isn’t something most people can afford
@@sierraalice8072Right but we have established that the parents are loaded- they could afford rent for the ex + kids, they probably could afford Bi-monthly domestic flights + a hotel for the weekend.
@@carinaraymond2 well thats the parents money, not his and they only have to pay rent until the mom gets on her feet, they’d have to pay flights and hotel for a lot longer
Hey! Before menopause I froze to death below 80⁰. She sounds like me. She probably really is in pain. In 30 years she'll be walking around needing spinal fusion, hip and knee replacements and not be able to get the doctors to do MRIs because she's not throwing enough of a fit. Then when she finally gets them to do them, one of the a-holes will say, "Well you certainly have a right to be in pain." No sh!t. Please don't assume she's just whining. Just because her nervous system doesn't work like yours doesn't mean she's not in genuine pain.
Dude, come on. Because she is cold, and you also feel cold, you understand her?
I couldn’t agree more I have such extreme pain that it gets too much at times
No wonder the wife wants to move. The amount of say his parents have in their lives is insane. They just get together and make decisions about their lives without her. She probably didnt envision a life where his parents dictated their major life decisions. I think the parents are being helpful with the added bonus of irritating her by shipping his ex to the same city she's going to school in.
It is not about the ex, it is about his CHILDREN if you can’t handle dealing with the ex when their are kids involved you shouldn’t marry someone with kids and split custody
@@emilyjohn2034 Just because he is moving doesn't mean he would just drop out of their lives! He can still come back for his weekend visits. Not every divorced person has to live in the same place as their children to have a good relationship.
@@stirrednotshaken4837 yes you CAN live that way but it is absolutely not ideal. It is 100% a better situation to be near his kids. What if there’s an emergency with the ex and he needs to take the kids? What if there is any emergency with his kids and he’s not there to support them? And then there’s the fact that factoring in travel will always limit your interaction, he won’t be able to make it to all their school functions or concerts which he could easily attend if they were close. My point is that the parents are not “dictating his life” they are giving him the amazing option of getting to stay with his wife and his kids. To many people are focusing on the ex when it isn’t about the ex it’s about the kids. If you get in a relationship with someone who has kids and split custody the ex is ALWAYS going to be apart of your lives. And it’s okay if you can’t handle that, but don’t be with someone in that situation if you can’t handle it.
@@emilyjohn2034 If there is an emergency, there are always his parents they can stay with until he can arrive. Millions of kids that have to adjust to their parents having to move away from them. It doesn't mean it's permanent. It's only for 4 years. And you keep harping about it not being about the ex, but she is part of the equation even if you don't think so. She will always be part of the problem as long as the kids are under the age of 18.
@@stirrednotshaken4837 she will always be part of their lives yes, but it isn’t a problem. That’s just the situation that the wife AGREED to be apart of. You cannot get into a relationship with someone who has split custody if you aren’t okay with their ex being part of your lives.
His parents don’t live in the same state they live in the state the wife is moving to, please finish the story before trying to correct someone
And yes plenty of gives deal with that situation does mean it’s the best option. As I said travel will mean OP is going to HAVE to miss a lot of their life and 4 years for a young child is a very long time that is when they are going through so many changes in a very short period of time. And it is definitely the MUCH better option for the dad to be fully involved in their lives. There are ZERO negatives to them all moving because OP and his wife aren’t paying for anything and they aren’t changing any situations they are just going to be in the exact same place they were when the wife fully agreed to be part of his life.
The last story is the typical 'she's a woman in pain, rub some dirt in it and you'll be fine.' It's a known fact that most woman in pain are dismissed as being dramatic or being extra whiney. I def would be getting a second or 3rd opinion to get to the root of her pain sensitivity. Also you can't compare a body's response to muscle pain as a result of a hard workout to her hypersensitivity to a papercut etc. It's clear there is something more to what's going on. How can he claim his undying love and then easily dismiss her pain? Like red flags...
Right?! The way that people perceive and deal with pain is subjective. I can’t believe the total disregard for a person explaining their own level of pain.
Every other weekend visitation is common where I live.
Same for me. Women get majority custody most often as the result of men basically not trying to get more custody. In 70% of cases where men actually fight for majority custody, they get it.
But usually this is a result of the exes mutually deciding that being mostly in one household, is best for the kids schooling and stability.
Oh man… you guys are completely off the mark lol. Dental school is very tough, and she probably doesn’t want to be distracted by her hubby’s ex and her unacceptong in-laws. Long distance is actually the best case scenario for her that she can stay in relationship with her hubby while avoiding other unpleasant relationships.
Not everyone has malicious intentions (like, come on, drive wedge between kids and their dad?), and usually people with focused career plans consider those extra drama unnecessary and inefficient. It’s more likely that she just wants to get away from the drama, and it’s upto OP to either chase her or let her go. And yeah… dental schools in MA are all awesome, so no way she is expected to give up those great opportunities.
11:45 Nah the wife probably feels uncomfortable bear the ex and just never said that to be polite, now that shw can have some distance from that woman she doesn't want this to be taken away. They wife understands that OP needs to be around the kids that's why she never just randomly decided to move until she got this opportunity
Guys... it sounds like she had nerve issues. The types of pain she reacts to are nerve pain. The pain she can handle is muscle pain. She needs to go to a neurologist. Please don't assume that you know other people's pain.
Ooof I wish this was a live. This is sounding sooooooooooooooooo abelist and I'm quite triggered.
Yeah feeling the same way. As someone with sensory issues my first thought is that this could be a medical thing or disability.
@@madeleinemae2700 exactly! I usually love these guys cuz they talk through all the sides but even when it possibly being a medical issue was brought up, they immediately dismissed it just like the doctors did. It sounds like OP and his wife heard one doctor say "yea it could be all in her head" and just took that as gospel when it is a statical fact that doctors REGULARLY dismiss pain in female patients. It's so blindly abelist to just say "she couldn't possibly be feeling that much pain"
I got super triggered by John and Sam acting like Riley's point of a woman having pain during sex was moot. And that some women like the pain. Well some may like the pain, but others don't. And for them to think "if its done right, pain doesn't happen happen," is ignorant and a problem in our society.
@@AngieLaughsInappropriately yea same. Sometimes sex hurts.
@@Kimiq92 and sometimes after. Sex is not all pleasure and if there is pain, you need to see a doctor/specialist for specific pain because sometimes it's not normal and if there is pain that just occurs and can't be treated, then you'll have to learn how to navigate life around not feeling the pain again or bearing with it.
For the story where the wife is in pain she may have a sensory processing disorder. Just because from the outside it doesn't seem like she should be in pain doesn't mean that she's not experiencing pain. It's enough to make her jump and almost pass out so it's clearly something happening in her body. It's like how people with Autism could have say, a sound sensitivity, and it can physically hurt them to be near loud sounds others could ignore.
She can clearly handle pain and stress, like OP said earlier, she doesn't act like this all the time and can do really heavy workouts, so why not believe her that she is in pain when she says she is? What if they have a child with a sensory processing disorder? She would probably be able to meet that child's needs better than OP as he doesn't understand. You can't just "shake it off". It doesn't get better if you ignore it and can be bad for your nervous system.
I think if your partner is in pain, they're in pain. Anyone you marry could get sick and end up needing a little extra care or compassion. Maybe OP could help think of practical ways to overcome it, like getting her a good coat if she's experiencing being cold
If it was me, I would prefer to do long distance and NOT have his prior relationship, not counting the children, brought into my future. He stated that he was already set with the original plan. This dude needs to stop letting his parents have a say in his and his wife’s decisions. Grow a pair! Not everything is a conspiracy theory!
Totally agree that OP needs to stop letting his parents try to get him back with his ex (*slightly* behind the scenes).
Esp. considering the ex *wanted* to move. Otherwise, I think the parents would've let things take their course (in their eyes) in the absence of the wife.
Plus, LDR would be only 4 years. While guilt-tripping/manipulation of inlaws (esp. after doing what appears to be a massive favor) and cloying ex would be forever- or until they collectively get dementia (presumably still 4+ years).
For the titty pictures story, the biggest issue is the lying and how long she lied for. I don’t believe she had any emotional involvement or any desire to be physical with Jake. Being a sex worker is not inherently wrong, but doing it without your partners consent and support absolutely is. It becomes cheating the second it’s behind your partners back
not to mention what she is doing to her sister. that to me is honestly the worst part.
It is wrong, because she had no valid reason to do it, and with the BIL, that has no excuse. Also just because it's purely transactional for her, it is still cheating.
48:13 you guys there is sensory processing disorders and im sure you dont know that this story could be involving that and it might not. But many people with sensory processing disorders deal with issues like this and i wanted to let you know so that you could gain a better understanding of this. and maybe not call it an ick.
Yea.. I was super annoyed at their take on that one.
The lady with the boo boo… her husband explaining why he needs to clean her wound sounds like me explaining the same thing to my 6 year old when hurt haha
I think she didn't grow out of that phase.
1st story I think the wife wants to move and leave them alone to test if he would go back to his ex. And I think the parents want to move the ex because they think OP may choose his wife and then there would be no chance of OP getting back with his ex.
Or they just want to allow the father to be with his CHILDREN and his wife
I agree that the wife wants to "test" the husband to see if HE will be faithful to her by leaving him where they currently live. If he gets back with his ex, then she has her answer. I really wonder how far the new school is from their home. If it's only a few hours, then he could move with her and still come back for his visitations and special events, since it is only every other weekend. I agree with others that the current wife wants to get away from his ex and his parents. We haven't heard from OP what these people are doing or saying to his wife, other than his parents don't like her...which computes to them making her life hell if she has to be around them. The ex wife could be making snide comments to the wife about how she's going to drive her away or how she's going to win him back. People in those situations will eventually reach their breaking point and just want to leave...which she is doing! If she is unhappy, living apart for 4 YEARS might lead to a crack in their marriage and she will probably find someone else where she moves to. Long distance is a bad idea because most people will break up.
Out of town school story: I think the wife is trying to see what you would do in her absence.
❤❤
Edit: it’s not a red flag to be uncomfortable with your husband’s ex family following you across state boundaries just so you can go to school. OP needs a backbone. The original plan was the best option to support the wife. Not only that but if you really were concerned about the kids you wouldn’t uproot them from their friends and family. He definitely did something wrong for the court to rule every other week. But if he really loves his kids he’d stay, and trust that his wife is an adult going to school. And because it’s every other weekend it’s not like he can’t go visit his wife for a week and a half every month if he’s able
A week and a half TWICE a week no less, since his parents seem to be loaded and are happy to pay for his EX WIFE to move to the new state and pay for her housing until she gets a job and can support herself (and the kids). So if they can move the ex closer to them, the OP and OPs wife... They can afford to supplement OPs income to travel back and forth 2 times a month.
Every other weekend is pretty much the default custody agreement in most places as its just not feasible otherwise when you account for school. Actual physical 50/50 is uncommon.
I think that the wife wants to leave him... And by going out of state it would have been easier for her to do so.
@marciavanwormer5956 that's my opinion, too
My aunt and her ex husband have the kids every other week so its fair. So one week with my aunt the next week with my uncle. They have their rooms in each house so i dont think he did anything wrong its just the default custody agreement to have it be fair
2nd story 2nd update
"We are separating for a while, not legally. She is just moving to her parents' house for at least six months. She hasn't done anything wrong in the past two weeks, then again she hasn't done anything wrong in the last year either, and I can't get her out of my mind and end up checking my phone every few minutes. So, I thought I needed to clear my mind to decide if I really want to reconcile or not. Maybe six months would be a good amount of time. We are getting a postnup and keeping all my assets to myself. I'm not sure how that's going to play out if we get a divorce, even if it's amicable. "
OP ended up doing the paternity test, it was positive.
Idk how I feel about OP saying he can get better custody because she doesn't have a job and is doing sex work in the same breath...
Sounds like he's upset and just wants to screw her in the divorce.
But the wife in the last story could have fibromyalgia, and it isn't easy to diagnose, and it's different for everyone.
Yes. I have fibro and that sounds so like me.
@@candymadigan9308 My Mother in law has Fibro and my husband and I took dna tests and he has a dna marker for having a higher likelihood of having it. Both my husband and Daughter are totally fine with somethings, but incredibly sensitive in different areas of their body. I suspect they both have it but Im unsure of how to go about having them diagnosed.
You do not get to EVER tell someone they are not feeling the pain they say they are. The ONLY person who can determine how much pain they are in is THEMSELVES and not a single other person. Sounds like this woman has some kind of nerve issue, if my partner was having these issues my first priority would be to get them seen by a doctor not to call them annoying.
Every other weekend? Long distance kids.
If mom is local to the kids, you stay with mom on your weekends. Then you can stay with your wife most of the time. If mom isn't local, get a hotel room for your weekends so you can see your kids. Then you don't have to damage your marriage.
Ah.
From the update.
OP's mom wants OP back with ex. New wife would like to have ex-wife out of their life. She's probably fine with the kids, but I'm guessing there's a MIL/Ex problem.
Edit again:
Yup. I called it. Although I didn't guess that OP's parents weren't near the the ex.
I’m only 2.5 minutes into the story and already confused why Sam was saying for OP to stay with the kids and not move with his WIFE, when OP already only gets to see his kids every other weekend according to established visitation. Like just with that info, easiest solution to me seems to be obvious - you go with your wife and then travel on those weekends that youre allowed to see the kids (or take summers if traveling that often isn’t possible). Long distance co parenting is pretty common. Obviously he should still be the father to his kids, but that shouldn’t mean he has to be separated from his wife for 2+ years (pretty sure that’s how long dental programs usually take, if not longer, depends on the program as well as the wife’s prior education level)
A bit too often they seem to make up their minds at the start of a story without actually going back to reconsider the original take 😅 like yall aren’t on Hard Mode anymore guys 😂
7:48 "Here's the mic bro" I died 😂😂😂😂😂
That’s a worm 🪱 😂😂 love their editors
From WebMD: Clean With Hydrogen Peroxide or Alcohol? FALSE. Using hydrogen peroxide or rubbing alcohol to clean an injury can actually harm the tissue and delay healing.
13:00 Or... The wife got kinda liked the idea of being on her own during dental school and got attached to it immediately. More time to focus on her studies and not worry about her husband.
Every other weekend is a normal situation for custody. It is not an indication of a bad father/husband. This is why men usually take the brunt of paying child support.
First story: I would refuse too. Because that family that is already not liking her a lot, will only put more pressure on her saying that yes we moved everyone just because of you. Also, if I wanted to come back to the original city after the 4years, it will be impossible to ask again everyone to come back specially that the parents live nearby and probably she don’t want to spend the rest of her life that close to them seeing how they treat her. 4years is a long time yes but it’s not the rest of her life either.
Nah, thats not necessarily how medical/dental/nursing schools program admissions always work. Its dependent on the other applicants during each application year and how you keaure up to them. If all of the applicants in the instate schools were stronger than her on those cycles, but on the 3rd cycle to the out of state (broader app cycle) she was in a better position due to other applicants...its definitely not strange to be accepted to the good out of state and not to the instate schools. Also, in state usually means cheaper for residents and can make them more competitive programs for that reason as well. Ive dealt with this myself when getting into my competitive SUNY program, vs a more lenient admission for a private school which wouldve been much less difficult to get into but much more expensive.
THANK YOU - you def explained this better that I tried to do 😂 I also couldn’t get accepted to my home state nursing program but quickly got accepted to my neighboring state first try. Thankfully we’re in a city on the border so I just have to commute for school
Every other weekend is not an uncommon custody agreement. It’s called standard custody. You can be the best parent and get NOTHING. Custody has more to do with who has the best lawyer, not always who is the best parent.
I understand Riley’s point. The brother-in-law saw his sister-in-law struggling financially and used her bad situation to get her to send him nudes! Like if they are really family, he should have just helped her and not demanded a sexual favor in return.
Sam is thoroughly confused 😂
Riley low key let us know that he’s apparently packing that *SHMEAT.* Dude’s like, “no matter how small you are, it’s gonna hurt a little.” Yea, you’re gonna think anything is smaller and gonna hurt when you’re apparently a fucking forearm Riley 😆😂 my man is apparently packing a shalami shtick that literally always hurts women during sex 😆😂
He is right though, things happen and it hurts sometimes. I do wonder how the wife deals with it.
In the first story, it is 100% normal to get visitation every other weekend. That's actually the most common court order.
You do 100 get every other weekend by being a good dad. My bf spends all of his time fighting his bm for time with his daughter despite having every other weekend . Shes just NOT a good person and knows he dormant have money to take her to court over it . She literally has 3 baby daddies. Her parents don’t even like her. It happens ALL THE TIME to people.
Why did I think Shia was Riley for a minute? 😂
There was an episode on one of those hospital shows where the patient had a lot of pain like Laura and their partner treated them the same way and at the end they had a nervous or neurological issue where their senses (mostly pain) are heightened
My ex-husband’s sister helped me leave him and gave me the encouragement to do so (alcoholic). It’s been so much better since we split and he has been sober since!
I can relate to the first story. My husband has a child from a previous relationship & both sets of parents be making hints at wanting them to work things out. We are long distance from his son, but we spend time with him as much as possible. He just graduated from high school, so now my husband’s stance is his son can just come see us & we have no need to go visit him. Because before the mom used to always try to make it seem like he couldn’t come to us. I agree with how the wife feels, I wouldn’t want to have a long distance relationship with my husband. Nor, would I want my in-laws interjecting their opinions in our marriage.
Insecurity doesn’t add up, if she is insecure that her husband is going to get back with his ex leaving for FOUR YEARS to be long stance while he stays WITH THE EX would not be the preferred option. Sounds like the wife didn’t want a man with baggage and kids and just wants to get away from them. Don’t date someone with kids and split custody if you can’t handle that
Changes Name To *Charity*
So when's Riley's OF happening again?
Maybe in the story 1 is that maybe she just doesn’t like taking care of his kids on the weekends he has them…and she will avoid taking care of them for 4 yrs !! She doesn’t want a relationship with his kids??? She will be free of them for 4 yrs
I live in a very mother-leaning state Which means that even with all the evidence against my significant other 's ex-wife about being unfit, she was still granted custody and my SO was given every Wednesday and every other weekend. Unfortunately the courts are very biased when it comes to custody arrangements and don't always do what's best for the children
Every other weekend is typical for a custody agreement.
I can't wait to see sam 15 years from now with a wife and kids.
Regarding the pain theatrics, my first instinct was that this would be a dealbreaker. But then, I started thinking about my own relationship and if my SO had any similar issues, and I realized she does have similarly theatric meltdowns for freaking out regarding performing certain tasks (like calling to make appointments.) And, in those cases, I may have been annoyed, but it hasn't been a dealbreaker and my love for her has made me 100% willing to help her with those issues.
I guess all good relationships involve partners covering for eachothers' weaknesses, even when those weaknesses might seem a little silly or arbitrary when viewed from the outside.
I don't know if the wife is insecure, maybe more fed up. I think she wants to separate herself from his family and, at the same time, figure out whether he's worth the toxicity of his parents.
I missed half the live Thursday 😭 now I have to wait like the normies 😂😂
There is a reason john isn’t single and sam is lol
The grandparents sound like they just desperately want their hands on the grandkids, and think they will probably stay living near them long term. They're likely only thinking of their own wants.
Riley's point about spicy sleep was a very good one and idk why Sam & John fought back on it so hard. Maybe they don't ever have enthusiastic spicy sleep. Coz... things happen Lol And I totally get what Riley meant. Because honestly depending on the type of pain, I'm more likely to pause spicy times for minor pain than every day life. And I have a fairly high pain tolerance normally. Sometimes peroxide stings, but Neosporin? You have a condition, OP's wife, I just don't know if it's physical or mental.
I think she just wants to enjoy her time on her own without the rest of the family following.
This comment it in reference to the first story regarding child custody arrangements. Every other weekend is typically standard where I live. My son's father also gets every other weekend with out oldest son. This was partially because he didn't live in the same school district my son went to. However, during the summer we did every other week as I thought that would be fair. Now I will say that we are very flexible. I would give extra weekends or extra days whenever possible. Now my sons father and his bonus mom recently moved to our town, so our son just goes there or comes home when he wants to (once we discuss it of course) hes 16 and has a car now, but I always gave him the option to do what he wanted within reason. Me and his stepmom get along wonderfully. I helped her put in an application at my job and put in a good word for her. We carpool to work every day. But every other weekend is pretty standard where we live.
My dad only got every other weekend with his first two kids but he is the best father, his ex cheated on him and broke his heart and he couldn’t go through ongoing court issues and wanted her out of his life so didn’t argue
The "cheating" wife:
Hmm... it's not a horrible lie. I'd probably forgive it. But it bothers me. Also, I know if it was me, I wouldn't be able to lie even once. I'd plan to lie, but then I'd come clean. Every time I plan to lie to my husband within 15 minutes I tell him the truth. So even though it's not a bad lie, the fact that she's able to sustain a lie like that says something pretty strong about her.
First story, I think dental student wife is moving to be with a new partner and doesn't want her husband to come with I certainly doesn't want kids and first wife to deal with.
Having every other weekend is a very normal agreement for the kids to have some normalcy at school/ in the week. Especially if one parent was doing primary caregiving in the week anyway. The only thing it might mean is the other parent was generally less involved (as often happens, 1 parent is more present, sometimes for reasons that are hard to control such as work commute/ work schedules, or sometimes because they just didn’t care to be equally involved prior to the separation so there is no reason to a 50% time split and it does not benefit the kids.
Doctors often overlook pain symptoms in women and tell them they just have anxiety. She needs to advocate for herself and see another doctor
interesting mental gymnastics with the wife and her dental study. IF his parents wanted him to get together with his ex, they would be better of leaving his ex where she is so he has to stay there as well. I however think that his parents want their grand kids closer and THAT is why they pay for her to move. I can also understand the studying wife not wanting kids around every second weekend if this study is a hard study and she would want to rest up or study during the weekends. I wonder what wife would have said if he would have moved with her and he would have gone to be with his kids every second weekend. If she would not have been o.k. with that, then she has ulterior motives. I can see how she would not be happy with having his ex close by. Maybe OP is also very much a person that forces her to accept things the way he wants them and she just wanted breathing space, who knows. I wonder how the story continues.
Idk what’s going on with Spiderman, but I love it! 🔥
With custody, one parent is given full custody and the other is"visitation". Most states this is STANDARD in family court!! This does NOT make hime a bad father!!! A custody battle is horrible and their are only about 4 states that automatically do 50/50 custody automatically. Unless both parties agree to something else between themselves, EVEN THOUGH A JUDGE STILL HAS TO SIGN OFF ON IT AND A JUDGE CAN STILL DENY ANY AGREEMENT, MODIFY IT, AND HIS RULING IS THEN WHAT'S ESTABLISHED IN THE DECREE! Please don't assume that if a parent has only every other weekend, that they're BAD MOTHER& OR FATHER!! If the two parents can't come to an agreement between themselves with their lawyers, as well as usually a mediator..... Then you go to full trial..... IT'S THE ULTIMATE HELL! Anything You've done wing or even looks bad, who you've dated, where you love, if You've remarried, have other children, how expensive and we'll known your lawyer is. EVERYTHING IS USED AGAINST YOU! So much manipulation, hurt, humiliation and heartbreak over your child/children being torn. In my state its automatically full custody for one and visitation for the other. No 50/50 in our state! Unless we could agree outselves and have a judge sign a final decree! Unless you know how family court goes and how horrible it is, i wish more people did and would not make such harsh judgements, because if they knew, they'd understand how painful it is to hear it know people think your a bad parent and have done something wrong to get every other weekend
It’s actually pretty common sadly for woman to get more custody he didn’t have to do anything wrong to end up with every other weekend. My partners uncle gets every other weekend and he is literally the best dad and always has been the courts just ruled in the mothers favor automatically
For the first story: I understand wheere the ex is coming from but would she still act the same if it was about his work or education opportunity?
Having the kids every other weekend is not a sign of bad parenting. That's a common arrangement... Especially if the parents don't live in the same school zone/district.
Omg the wormies on the microphonesss ♡♡♡
The Problem in my oppinion is Not that the old wife is moving to the new city. The problem is the parents paying for all of it. So they have a very high controll over the old wife and kids and therefore a high control over OP. They are closer, and payed for all of it. And the fact that they do not like the new wife is not making it better. I can understand why she feels it is a better option to do it alone.
If not the parents could say in the future:
" But this whole thing that we payd for was just for YOUR education"
"We all did that for YOU"
....or some sort to make her or OP do what they want.
Why do they even get into this without someone asking?
I honestly think the wife has a right to be afraid of the extra meddling from the parents. The ex probably doesn’t want to be back with him so she’s not a threat. The threat is the parents pushing against the marriage and now being closer to him. He genuinely doesn’t seem to understand how upsetting and confidence draining it can be to keep hearing about how your husband’s ex is better and how he should be with her because they share the kids. The parents may even be meddling with the children and trying to turn them against their step mother.
I’m not saying that that’s what’s going on but the fact that they glazed over the changes in the amount she and he would be seeing his parents if he moves there.
Ngl I would’ve just told my husband that it was nice knowing him and that I’m divorcing. It’s a tough situation but ultimately, 4 years doing long distance won’t work out in most cases.
I feel like the BIL did take advantage of the wife some since she was in some kind of precarious financial position, and she went to him knowing he had the ability to help her out. He was the one that demanded nudes in exchange. I doubt she felt comfortable doing it but could have also easily felt like she didn’t have another choice at the time for some reason. Then once she got desensitized to it, she started to just view it as “easy money” so that she wasn’t feeling that constant cognitive dissonance (knowing she’d be hurting her partner OP if he ever found out) 32:47
Sounds like she has a condition. Nearly fainted... I wonder, if it felt like a broken bone? My hubby has a condition with his ADHD he has a delayed pain response, and feels less pain, he gets hurt a lot, and doesn't know why most times. Which condition is better? More pain for tiny things or less pain for tiny things and ending up with serious burns or gangrene?
wtf is dam doing? This whole episode is like here are Sam’s adhd ticks lol
Yeah, every other weekend was what my dad did, but only during the school week, but during breaks like winter and summer breaks we were at my dad's house and visited my mom every other weekend, my father at one point brain washed us I to thinking if we did school with them that we would see our mom more, it was a lie, but luckily we stayed doing school with my mom.
For the last story there could be something more causing her to have such a sensitivity to certain kinds of pain. Also if you have ovarian cysts they can cause pain during sex.
51:56 spicy sleep should never be painful….
Guys everyother weekend is actually normal. Unless you live close enough (isually same school area) then i have seen friends who spend legit 50/50 at parents house.
You should be able to get your kids over the summer so you don’t miss out on seeing them
First story is interestig to me mostly for the double standard. If OP was his childrens' mom instead of their father, everyone would be 100% sure that he's a monster for considering moving so far for years to support a new husband. Theyd also say that the ex would have a RIGHT to know that the mother of his kids is considering zooming away from the kids.
Every other weekend is very standard for custody, at least in custody that is mutually agreed. It's a lot for kids to organise everything for school when swapping weekly so often weekends is easier and more relaxing for kids and if dd not working then he gets to spend lots of time with them also this usually means he has them for school holidays and things (at least in nz this is fairly normal)
And every other weekend is pretty common amongst shared custody. The kids usually live with whichever parent that is more able to get them to school and do weekday routine in the easiest way and then each parent gets one weekend each, on and off. Idk there's some really bad takes in the first story lol
The first story some people really like working study Study really, really hard and going into classes and not being distracted by you know all these people moving with her and it will take distractions from her studies and that’s a lot of pressure that you’re putting on her and maybe you shouldn’t do that and you should just focus on long distance because school is very tough and it can be very hard on someone
Actually the majority of states every other weekend for the father is pretty freaking common. In fact I have a friend that lives in Texas that has been fighting so he can get his daughter longer than that. He's a great dad no bad history nothing it's just that Texas rule is that basically the mom has to be in prison for the dad to get any more custody than that. Of course you can come up with your own custody agreement and that's different but if the courts are involved then every other weekend is the norm.
7:01 Sam, every other weekend is normal lol, mostly, especially school age kids, my daughter goes to her dads every other weekend, she goes to school in my school district. He didn’t do anything wrong, he saw her more when she was under 5. Just how it goes.
Ive had the nail in my big toe split open and ive walked it offf... but i swear the needle prick from blood test that i get every 3 month hurts more
I don't believe just because you're moving for a better opportunity and life means that you're not putting your kids first. It doesn't make him wrong for wanting to support his wife and better financially support his kids and still see them as much as he can.
Every other weekend is normal because it provides stability for the kids. OP and ex probably don’t live in the same city, the kids go to school and it’s not fair on the ex to only have them during the week.
Based on the story, it sounded like they were all living in the same city initially
The pain story. Maybe its not pain and she has a fear or something like seeing her skin open or of infection. I have high internal pain resistence but if you press your finger into my arm it hurts really bad like when you smash a finger or stub a toe and its not deadly but its lingering pain. 10 cm in labor hurt but wasnt the worse feeling ive had. Maybe she just has strong external pain?
Story no way I would want to tolerate that behavior
Idgaf, OF IS CHEATING period.
Especially if it’s without your partner’s knowledge or consent…
It can depend on the couple, but definitely sounds like “sending nudes to other people” was clearly crossing an explicit boundary (especially since she was immediately apologizing, she knew what she had been doing was wrong and was outside the bounds of their relationship)
As a mother of a child with sensory issues, this was a difficult listen.
Sam trying to math some rules to determine whether a relationship can continue or not after cheating is hilarious. As a couples therapist who regularly works with couples dealing with infidelity, I have found these rules rarely apply, as there are usually more factors then Sam’s “golden rules” account for. I wish the OK hosts didn’t go to divorce as quickly & as often as they do; there is often more value in seeking couples counselling first. Even when therapy results in the end of a relationship, it is an opportunity for both people to understand the role they played in their relationship dynamic (hopefully preventing them from repeating patterns in their next relationships), & it can sometimes lead to the couple separating with more care, compassion, & respect. It’s easy to think in absolutes (“I would never tolerate…”, “I would end things if that happened…”, etc.) when you’re not in the situation, but most of the couples I’ve worked with have discovered it’s not as simple as that when it happens to them. I would love it if the OK hosts started a “Counselling! Counselling” chant. But maybe that’s just me.😊
These past 2 weeks have been insane.
My first marriage my ex's family were on my side. It happens.
“Really good program” 13:41 guys, he could also just be wanting to show off his wife 😂 OP probably doesn’t even know what makes a “good program”, he just knows his wife is happy about the school accepting her and he wants to support her. But also, see my other comment about how different state programs can have different acceptance criteria 😂
Y’all need to reign in the conspiracies sometimes, especially when you’re missing a huge one about the parents and the ex 😂
The man clearly cares about his kids. Also to everyone saying choose a wife over kids. Your part of the reason so many kids have no fathers and have messed up childhoods. Just saying
Nah the first story is a powerplay. Its not only about insecurity... By moving to the state especially with the parents support not only are they saying that they have the ex-wifes support but also she's the priority even over the son. If she allows this to happen whatever decisions they'll have from them on forward will always involved the ex-wife. She'll have control over their relationship.
The wife choosing to ldr route is for the keeping the stability of the already strained relationship.
She'll feel smothered if they move and she doesn't need that kind of stress when she's busy studying!
Also tbf i bet the wife is already thinking about an escape plan and a test.. in her position if the op fucks up or if the family fucks up she can leave his ass without problems..
Hey you can totally get every other weekend by being the best father. Close friend of mine’s boyfriend has that arrangement because the mother of his child literally framed him to be a p.o.s. To get sympathy from the judge in court ruling even though she was the one with a drug and many other problems :( custody battles can be super unfair lots of times
This channel is so hypocritical when it comes to men and parenting in one video they'll support a mother moving to a another country and taking the kids and s*** on the man for not being able to go and see them but here they also agree with the ex who said if you even think about moving out of state to support your girlfriend you're a bad father men cannot win😂😂😂
And then they talk about his custody with the kids and say how come he only got to see them once every two weeks what did he do wrong how come he had to do something wrong😂😂😂
first story: kids are already long distance 😂
Why half of the time they don’t understand correctly what op says? I understand perfectly all the dynamics and I am italian😅 aside from this love you guys❤😂
I think wife was trying to get away from him so that she could blame the long distance on the divorce 😮
53:29 one for the montage 😂