Hey guys! Thanks for watching and I hope that was helpful. Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited) 💪 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass 🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions 🗣 Join the FB Group! -> facebook.com/groups/1032426806961329/
Geoffrey thanks again for all your help here on youtube whilst i really cant afford to do the masterclass but i need to know something, whilst every guy here would like to know when but that is like asking how long is a piece of string? what I want to know is what signs i should be looking for? when is the right time not in a chronological sense but how to tell is she ready? thanks again
This video made me smile like crazy, and I've watched it 6 or 7 times today. The reason this video makes me happy, is because it made me realize that I've reached a point where I act and think exactly like this. I've finally begun accepting that she wants space, that I must give her the space to work on her emotions and process her thoughts, while I work in my own issues. I am willing to wait for however long it takes, because I want to better myself for the sake of me, to be a better person and father.
Hi Omnivore, Happy that this video have been so helpful in your situation… Once you understand why your partner needs time and space you can start the rebuilding process of safety & trust.
I hope everything is good and went well with urs. Just going through the same thing with my misso and it’s definitely devastating as I’m just uncertain about my future but everyday waking up and just trying to focus on myself has helped. I still overthink and get worried about it a lot but everyday I can see it get better and I’m being more happy working on myself and doing things I want to do
I just wanted to give an update - Me and her are no longer married. But it was a decision made in unison. We agreed that we had been drifting apart for a long time, and that we would be better suited as just friends. She still enjoys her alone time, and I am slowly starting to open up when it comes to dating. We are better friends than we have been in years, since a lot of the tension is now gone. And although this video, and Geoffrey's other videos, didn't end up saving my marriage, I have learned SO much that I will bring with me into a future relationship. So, thank you Geoffrey.
Yes woman are weak they think they are strong. Go find a province girl in the Philippines that hasn’t been molested by western media and you will find a good loyal hardworking woman who will never leave your side.
Space is key. After watching this I’ve come to realize and understand that I was focused on the outcome rather then to just give space and time. It’s been almost two and a half weeks since everything hit the fan but it’s been on the downhill for more then 4 years. I’ve come to the realization that I’ve caused a lot of pain and hopelessness for my wife of 7 years together for over 12 years. I’m now on the path of changing myself first and permanently. Your videos have been getting me through these past couple weeks and I truly appreciate all you do to help men help themselves. Thank you.
I was completely shattered when she said she wanted space, everything you’re saying is so true and I was so scared of losing her forever. But watching this really helped and made me realize that I just need to work on myself and have patience and respect her decision for wanting space.
I am in a LDR for almost 3 years but she said she needed space weeks back because she thinks that we couldn't make it together in the future. I really can't handle the thought of loosing her, I kept texting her and being just spamming her with reassurance and love. These past weeks I kept asking her to tell me how she feels whenever she is ready but she never did. After watching this video I understand now I should focus on myself and get ready for the result even though it may be bad. Even though I love her more than anything, but I believe right now I should just be patient. Update officially ended things 3 July 2022 She came back after 1 month but all she did was left again. I decided to move on because holding on to someone who already gave on our relationship is just causing yourself nothing but pain. Trust me cut off contact, she keeps trying to contact me but just focus on you now. Now I am working out daily and focusing more on my life, I feel a lot better about things. For all the people out there struggling right now with theirs. All the best to you and if it goes downhill then don't be afraid to focus on yourself, there's more people out there that will appreciate you. Everything will be okay.
I’m going through this now. 8 years together. She’s been gone for just over a week. I’ve made some big self improvements with the time with my job and myself.
Just to update. We ended up getting back together for a week now. She just started moving her things back in. She was gone in total for a month and a half while I worked on myself. I'm a lot better now.
Hey rob, i wanted to know something. So I've been dating this girl for 8 months now, we love each other soo much and suddenly because of some dumb decisions of my she doesn't want to talk to me,she hasn't broken up with me or anything but she doesn't talk to me and tells me not to text her,she hasn't blocked me and this posts sad stories on Instagram, but she also suddenly says i love you and i miss you?and to make things worse im the most anxious person i know, so it's really difficult for me to go through this tough time, I just wanted to know will my situation get any better? And can you suggest me some tips to ease my anxiety? It's so hard on me, i check my phone every now and then just to see if she texts me.
@@cosmicmeat3277 I didn't get her back but, I learned what was wrong on my end of the relationship and his vids helped me gain closure. I'll be better next time is how I look at it.
Yes i do expect my husband to be a good listener & not giving judgement when i said something . It really makes me reluctant to express my feeling to him.
My girlfriend had asked for space and I was falling apart for the first few days and then I realized that I had been overwhelming her with to much love and attention and this space has helped me realize all of that and your video helped me lose my anxiety about the whole situation so thank you so much
🥰🥰There is this powerfulman who help restored back my broken relationship after many years of separation, he can help you too via his Whatsapp on (+ 2 3 4 9 0 7 1 2 2 8 0 9 7)🥰 thanks me later
So I’m here a bit late, I made the mistake of trying to pull her back in after she asked for space and she came back temporarily but said she didnt feel attached, and it just didn’t feel right. So I told her that I respected that and if she didn’t think it would work I backed her up on the decision to end things. This was about a week ago and we’ve been in contact through text, and once in person. She says she needs time and I’m smart enough to not pour my heart out and beg for her back. But I understand I’ve handled some things poorly, and hope to restore what I lost
I personally don't understand the space thing but as I am going through it and watching this video I understand how important it is to a woman to have it and I've had my impatient episodes where I plead for her to comeback. I need to control my emotions, work on myself and give her space to heal and gather her thoughts.
This is the realest advice I've heard on this topic. Way better than those "five ways to..." or "three texts to send..." articles out there. I'm glad I found your channel, my girlfriend of almost five years just moved out on wants to take a break, and everything you've described encapsulates my situation so well.
I came here because, as the woman in this situation, I'm struggling with his "changes" being sincere. I'm trying to figure it out, and the more we talk and open up to each other, the more confused I feel. Thank you for giving this advice in such an authentic manner, hopefully it will help many couples resolve their issues!
I just started watching your videos and these are exactly what I needed thanks! I've been really miserable and constantly texting her solutions but I really need to give her the space that she asked for cause I was afraid and worried she will leave me. This is my first real relationship ever, and I hope this process goes well. Thank you!
@@GeoffreySetiawan Thank you soo much Geoffrey! My gf messaged me today saying that she misses me after we were in no contact for a few days. I kept watching your videos to not only help me feel better, but make myself a better person than I was before. Everything you taught me was 100% accurate. Thanks!
@@christopherkim1581 yea that’s what I’m wondering I been on break for 2 weeks my 4 year GF ain’t missing me at all she enjoys the free time seems like don’t pick a party girl idk if she’ll ever come back
Seriously such a comfort to hear just to here you talk. My girlfriend and I have been together for 8 years and we were 17 when we got together, we had to move in together quickly because her family was moving away and she didn’t want to leave. So we stayed at my dads for 7 years and saved/ bought our house together and we have always been extremely happy. Everyone is super shocked to hear that she wants to part ways because we are know as the power couple and have been referenced as Marshall and Lilly from the show HIMYM if you know that one. But She wants space for us to grow and I’m terrified I just want to move back home. This could not have came at a worse time my grandmother passed away Sunday and we were all very close. I know space is what she needs I really want to move back home she is my everything.
Hey man, any updates? Also I’m with you 8 years since we were 19. Any way yea Geoffrey is the best one I’ve found on RUclips especially for long term people. No playing ego games, just better yourself. And I’m in like week 4 of space and I think I’m finally nearing that point of not latching to the outcome. But that also scares me because then I’m like well then if I stop caring about the outcome does that mean that the relationship is over??? Because definitely not the outcome I prefer.. I’ll make peace with eventually and respect her decision but definitely not preferred… but yea I hope it worked out for you man.
@@Rbear266 yeah mine isn’t 8 years but year and half and idk we’ve been very close and we moved in together at my parents very early and now she’s want more space to do her own thing which I completely understand and I’m trying to do my own thing. But I fear I’m also too attached to the outcome and going to be too pushy. I’m just afraid if it’s because she’s falling out of love with me as she doesn’t know if this relationship is going to last but she’s made it some what clear that she thinks it’s because she doesn’t feel happy in the relationship but loves me a lot and wants more time to be able to do her own thing. I can only hope giving her space will work as I know jsut continually pushing like I’ve somewhat done previously isn’t going to work. Plus it feels super weird to go against what u want to do
@@nickc8656 well my girl just “officially” broke up with me 5 days ago. But has been reaching out everyday with weird messages about ‘look at this, I just want you to be proud of me’ which is confusing the shit out of me. But I’m trying no contact meaning not initiating but responding for now and might have to send her a message about like please stop sending me these messages because they are messing with my emotions. If we are broken up we are broken up
Great advice again, people forgot about something, if you were in a "healthy relation" (that exclud toxic relation), even if you had problably mess up few things. Be sure there is a lot of things you did right, and your partner is not stupid, at some point the "need space" will help eachother to reminder good things, cause when emotion are messed up, the partner who ask for space, at this point he/she see only negative things (including her/his trauma if partner need time to find him/herself). In the other hand, the one who have to accept that "i need space" feel he/she cannot live without that person. So when you wait few weeks or months, at some point, the water will remain calm again and at that moment you and the partner will be able to communicate again. If the relation wasn't a toxic one, be sure the partner will came back eventually, but eachother need first to work on themself. So trust your partner and give them the space they need, it whill just show how respectfull you are
I had this friend who would perceive me needing space as me requesting for the friendship to end. He would send me messages guilting me into seeing how good our friendship is and how bad it is to walk away from it. And then when I try to explain to them what I actually mean and how it doesn’t mean the end. They would just give me a few days to a week of space where they continue to just share mini messages. And then after that small period they would come and guilt trip me that I’m not doing anything to fix our friendship and that I destroyed it! Sometimes needing space just means needing space. Not just from one particular person but from everyone. It means needing space to step back and introspect. To work on some deep emotions and deal with them. It means I just need silence to be with myself and work on myself. It’s just that. No need to take it personally and freak out about it.
I recently started talking to this girl and she said she needed space and which I have given her. I was hoping to at least reach out and wish her a happy birthday and see if shes doing any better. I think ive actually grown a bit because in the past i would freak out with other girls and go off the deep end, but with her Im learning to be more patient.
Some of the problems I find is that gossip between your wife/girlfriends friends can be very damaging. She has most likely spoken to them about the things which annoy her about you! As we know people tend to dwell on the negative points and not broadcasting the positive memories. Especially if her friends are not having luck in relationships and your wife/girlfriend tends to moan about her man to make her feel at their level. If Her female friends don't have children they are a bad influence, The ones who do have children but divorced are never likely to admit to your wife/girlfriend that they made a mistake. Also the chance of your wife/girlfriend telling her friends she made a mistake or swallowing her pride and changing her mind is also unlikely.
This is exactly my position. I found out my wife’s friends were talking negative about me and that had an effect on her. My wife admits that her friends are toxic and they do her no good.
Thank you so much for this video, everything you said I witnessed just a few days ago and thought I was on the right track but I was fooling myself and your right, she was suspicious, I understood why but it still frustrated me. I gotta focus on me. I don’t have to have the goal of proving it to her. That’ll just be the outcome. I gotta put my growth as priority for myself. Then she’ll see it. You taught me that today.
I've lost my partner and they have made it clear that they are never coming back. But I'm not giving up hope. I am going to stop worrying about getting her back and start working on myself.
Hey Pranjal, Work on yourself to become the best! Your partner and the external world will naturally see your changes… We have had many clients in our program that have made massive changes to re-attract their partners. And in case you’re curious as to how life-changing this program is, or how it is MILES beyond what other programs can offer, check out the links below! Client Review Videos: ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU Client Review Screenshots: drive.google.com/drive/folders/1Gp8UpRV9uMlFx763BfuQnEqN930FQb7b?usp=sharing
@@GeoffreySetiawan I believe it too, but in my case as it was a distant relationship, my ex wouldn't be able to see how much I've changed unless I ask them to talk or ask them to meet or atleast let me visit them
@@clayallen4354 Nope, it's been 1 year now, never had the chance to contact her. Deep down I know she's never coming back but I'm never giving up hope because that is my choice and something I control.
If you are a homeowner and she asks for space this is where it becomes a whole different issue. I honored the space that she wanted, and financially I don't have the money to pay rent somewhere while paying my mortgage. Regardless I paid for an Airbnb apartment for 22 days. I am still maintaining my house lawn and pool etc When she is not home in the evening. So there is a timeline of when I am coming back home. After my rental is up and I have no more money. Either we figure this out and continue to work on things, or a for sale sign goes in the front lawn. We've been together 28 years, and if we can't figure out if we want to be together after that long of being apart we lose everything. So in my opinion this is where separation gets very complicated when you own a home together.
Great information. Looking for the outcome instead of understanding the process makes a lot of sense to me. We sometimes just jump ahead wanting to get the results we want.
Absolutely amazing insight, thank you. I've recently been through a breakup where my partner said she needed to be on her own, and my first instinct was, "I need to tell her how I feel immediately and try and get her back!" Thank God I found this video - I'm now spending the foreseeable future giving her space, working on myself and how to become a better person in my relationships...whether that's with my ex or someone else in future.
I forced her to rebuild the relationship without working on myself at all after she asked for a break and she had prepared her mind for a breakup , I will follow these tips and keep updating! Thanks a lot :)
GEOFFREY THANKS .MY QUESTION IS I HAVE DIVORCE MY WIFE AFTER 7 YEARS IN MARTIAGE . SHE NEEDED TO MOVE ON HER OWN . AFTER SHE MOVE OFF FROM ME . NOW SHE TIMES CALL ME TO HELP HER WITH THE KIDS .SHE WANT ME TAKE THE KIDS TO THE KINDERGARTEN. I DO NOT CALL HER I HAVE DECIDED TO DO NO CONTACT .SINCE IT WAS HER DECISION TO MOVE OUT FROM ME . SHE TAKE KIDS FROM ME AND SHE NEED HELP WITH THE KIDS HOW COMES I THINK SHE IS USING ME . I NEED YOUR HELP . EMAIL ME .THRU ASUM114@HOTMAIL.COM
Fast vs right ! It changed my thinking completely. Time heals all wounds and I must be a consistent positive presence during this time and understand if she is who I truly love then the time will not be bothersome and patience will be required. It is a true test of love and manhood in my opinion. Thank you for your insight. It means so much
I’ve changed for her many of times but after I get her back I go back to my normal self. 2 months ago I changed for myself for the first time in this 3 year relationship of back and forths. I thought things were getting better but she doesn’t believe that I actually changed for myself she thinks I’m just trying to get her back again. I thought I had her back and was gaining trust but now she wants some space. I think she jsut want time to really think if she’s willing to give me another shot. And if she can get past the resentment she has towards me. We’ll see what happens. I’m gonna give her some space. She said she still loves me and wants things to work but needs time to think if she can give me another chance and get past her resenent and trust issues with me. I’ve never cheated or anything like that I’ve just been a shitty boyfriend and I didn’t realize it for along time what the issues were.
The need to give her space is clearly a massive oversight for most men and sure it’s good to be a man and take the initiative but this only seems to work as long as the lady does her bit too and not just blaming the man all the time. Surely it has to be a two way process?
Thank you for this. I’m starting to better myself by working more hours at my job and wanting to be the provider that I need to be but it’s good that me and my partner still keeping little contact with each other. I’m praying that she sees the growth in me as a man
Thanks again for the information. I really like the point that you say you need to improve yourself for yourself. I find myself understanding that more and more everyday. I'm finding this whole process more positive to me and becoming a better person. In the end it up to you to become the better person you want to be. " There are no shortcuts" and I wouldn't have it any other way
dw bro, it will be exciting for her to feel single again and talking to a new man. but after a little bit that excitement will wear off and she will miss you alot again. Just dont reach out to her she will come back
Insightful...actually realization came much later..still processing the fact that "its always how long it shud take ME to unlearn-learn-to communicate-not ro communicate-react-not to react- face the battle inside"..detaching from outcome with positive mindset too tough..but may be the way
This happened to me. She wanted space or a "break". We talked it trough she said she just needs time for herself to clear her mind and process her feelings for me and than she moved out from my house, took all of her belongings, told me everything will be fine. 3 days later shes dating another guy. This was a woman I was about to propose. I loved her sho much and she loved me for some time. We never spoke again since.
My biggest fear is that the guy she is talking to will sweep her off her feet. Your videos are helping me but there’s still that little edge and I can’t stop thinking about this other guy she’s talking to will take her away from me.
If you think you "own her" which is implied by the comment about some other guy "taking her away," then you are in the wrong head space. You can't own or control any other human. You can only fix your own mindset so that you validate yourself and require zero validation from your partner. Once you do this, it becomes clear whether you really want that person in your life. A man who has high self regard doesn't keep people in his life who are lacking in integrity and loyalty. He understands we live in an abundant world with plenty of high quality partners available who would align more closely to his values.
I am so thankful for you guiding me towards this video Geoffrey. I will have to watch it a few times for sure to learn very well the concept. Thank you for all your great information, and great explanation on how to approach this type of situations. Stay blessed!
Man you are so right!!! It's been hard during this separation but I'm seriously trying to better myself without sabotaging myself, I'm still sad and I miss her of course but I want to be a better ME, everything you say is so true!! You are helping me so much
It’s been two months. I requested to give her space, was that wrong of me? It’s because I pushed her away due to self doubt and invading her space in a way. She had a lot going on personally for her. So I wanted to give her space to figure out things on her own. I want to reach out to her to take accountability for my actions because within these last two months I have been working on myself and some days I did self destruct but I picked myself up. The changes I made are permanent, I understand I can’t always be around or up under her 24/7 because she will feel suffocated in the relationship. I found enjoyment in doing things alone and enjoying my own company.
This is really helpful and has been getting me through my separation from my wife. We’ve been separated since Xmas eve 2022 and it’s been so brutal. I did all the pushy begging and pleading, looking for answers. She says she wants space to grow and then we can start the relationship again from the start and forget all the negativity in the past. Fast forward to now and I’m not initiating contact and trying to better myself. She still messaged me and says she still fancies me and loves me but the anxiety of losing her is painful. Thank you Geoffrey for your videos.
@@cmoneygg5980 stay strong, and keep a positive mindset. It’s easier said than done but the moment you start to focus on yourself, you’ll notice a shift and your other half will notice too. I wish you all the luck.
@@mrkadiz1244 hey, it’s average. We still communicate. She reaches out to me first, I don’t contact her, it’s at her pace. She invited me up last week for drinks and chat which was nice. She said she doesn’t trust me emotionally which is fair. So I bed to build that up again. She asked me if I’d done anything with anyone else and I said no, neither has she, so she says. But I believe her. So it’s just a long game. Thanks for checking in.
This is definitely my situation I'm really struggling with giving her, her space ...she has admitted to me that she has been talking to somebody but she also said it's nothing...so knowing that that's what's making it so hard for me to give her space .... we been together for 18 years
@@dadunbar20 I am going through this right now. We've been together for a year and she says that her clinical, life, and a relationship is all too stressful. She said that staying w/ me means marriage + kids immediately (which I told her that we can wait) but I guess I missed the part where told me it was stressed and maybe I responded the wrong way idk. Any advice?
It’s been two days and this video absolutely pin pointed me to a T. This is so heart wrenching but I need to be have patience. I subscribed because your approach seems like the right advice.
Your methods are different than most popular authors on YT. However, it feels correct... like in the heart and chest i trust this, not that it will work 100 but instead, its showing required attributes (kindness, patience, selflessness,etc) relationships need
There is this powerfulman who help restored back my broken relationship after many years of separation, he can help you too via his Whatsapp on (+ 2 3 4 9 0 7 1 2 2 8 0 9 7)-_-_:'
Hi Ray, this is one of the first things I teach my clients in my program. We must detach from our partners and or outcomes. Watch this video to get a peak into how we teach them to do this. ruclips.net/video/LK0gJ7oFciE/видео.html
Good video, 4 weeks ago my wife told me we’re separating and she was gonna get her own place. I was devastated. But it’s also been a blessing because I was not there emotionally for her for years, I started seeking counseling and my eyes are wide open to the pain I have caused. I’m trying to better myself every day. If it works out for us great, but if not I will be a better person in the end. We’re still in the same house and her new place will be ready in 2 weeks. Yesterday I think was good and bad. We ended up having the best sex in years, we then had a great day shopping for her new place and getting lunch, we talked like we never have. That night she said this was a great day, but what will tomorrow be like, she’s still very much got a wall up and not sure if my change is real, but I truly think she’s starting to see I’m doing this for real, now the bad, having a day like that just really terrifying to me knowing she’s still leaving and complicates the situation. We shall see where this ends, but I’m hopeful, she’s been my best friend for 25 years.
@@Midwest31792 We continue at the same pace. We’re slowly getting to know each other again. She admitted this week she’s not sure she can ever forgive me completely for the past. But she also stated she is jealous someone new will get this new improved version of me. Right now I have to just keep doing what’s right for myself and building on my own strengths in life and hopefully one day we can find our way back to each other. I know she needs to see the other side of life and date other guys and see what’s out there. It’s hard and I try not to think about it, but if she doesn’t she will never be fully committed to our marriage if she did choose to try again. Yes it’s high risk for my emotional well being and yes it’s possible she could find someone else that gives her everything emotionally I never could, but then again maybe she wont. I have surrendered to the fact that it’s in Gods hands and if it’s meant to be it will someday happen. Everyday is tough and I think about my poor choices I made that caused this. I hope this helps man and I’m praying for you
Geoffrey, you are so wise and intellectual. Although this video is meant for men, it also helps women reflect on themselves. Thank you for sharing your knowledge :-) you’ve given me a glimpse of hope.
18 months and I’ve done all 3. #4 she believes my changes are real but might not be totally convinced. Separated 4 months and today I’m told she wants to build a new house so she can move out of her apartment
I’m in a tough situation. My girl and I have been together almost 7 years. We are on a break now but we still live together. I have nowhere to go. It is very hard to give her space because I don’t have a car. I leave and go for a walk and within a hour she calls and ask me where I am. She told me that we are more likely to get back together. It is very difficult but I love her and I have been working on myself and she is noticing.
have you tried not answering? let her wonder about you bro, she needs that space. when she asks what you were doing just tell her you needed some exercise. take up a hobby you can do outdoors and go do that. photography, painting/drawing, literally anything, just get out of the house and let her think about you.
@@aehrasyt yes I have not answered. One time I was gone for hours and she called me five times in 20 minutes. She got mad. It’s weird though because we still hug and kiss each other. It feels like we are not even on a break sometimes. I tell her I’m going somewhere and she want to go with me.
Hey man. I really appreciated this video. So a quick synopsis. We had been dating for 2.5 years. I have a 3 year old son, and she is not the mother. The initial reason for the breakup was because she still hasn’t met my son, the lack of security I gave her and the drama that my sons mother can cause. She loves me very deeply and has thought a lot and wants a future with me but because of those three reasons she has lost hope that can happen. A couple weeks ago I wrote her a letter and we met up and I really shared my heart and I Believe she heard it and was very responsive. She told me the next day that if she was gonna come back she needed time and space. Although my situation has some specific details would you say all your tips still apply. Sorry for how long this is haha.
Ole i am in the same boat but the other way around. Honestly i could do what you did just to hear you out without disrupting the space she has asked for from me. Would be ok to share some thoughts on how to go about it.
Wow you have just spoken not even about me but into me😌you have no idea about how you relaxed my mind….seriously have been rushing more into getting her back rather than working on to my self.Thanks mr.Geof
Hmmm. Great video and definitely on point! My Wife feels a break is needed but our issues are so fixable I said let's just take the necessary steps to fix things by making changes and forgiving one another for things. I have seen though she has entertained 2 guys back and forth on Facebook messenger so my thinking is a break would be to do just that and I don't agree with it but I know it's nothing I can control but I'm still praying and hopeful about the marriage overall. Im already working on myself but ofcourse we're trying to do a separation in the same home that we share a child together as well so it's tough to actually leave the home for either one of us.
May I ask how does it goes? My wife also asked for space after 24 yrs of married and I'm hurt so much. She can't talk the problem with me but she can talk to other guys during our "cooling of period"
Thanks so much man. My girlfriend and I both agreed to give eachother space mainly on her side though I wanted to give her space. I noticed every time I pushed for her she withdrew from me. My main objective is to better my self for me and I know when I better my self It will also benefit the relationship. I'm hanging strong and watching these videos keeps my motivation up because they bring me hope. I can only hope she comes back to me and only time can fix this. I appreciate your help
@@ismailcreisat8726 unfortunately it was just a sad excuse to break up with me. What I have learned from this experience is that if she needs space it would be best to emotionally detach from her during this time and if you fall out of love with her then she clearly wasn't worth your time and effort. You shouldnt make her your first priority if she is gonna make you her last option. I believe the break thing is stupid and childish and if it were to happen to me again I wouldn't bother waiting for her to come back to me because if she truly loved me she would never need a break because she would talk to me about things that bother her and she wouldn't treat me like I was a last option. I treated her really good I mean yea I made my mistakes but I'm by no means perfect but I made the effort to fix my mistakes if she told me something was bothering her and I always fixed my mistakes and I changed for her. All I'm saying is that if you were really good to her and you can consider your self a king in her deck of cards and she wants to reshuffle, she will most likely end up with a bunch of jokers and she will regret leaving you. If you end up suffering through this stage I highly recommend to detach from the relationship and leave her behind. I understand it will be hard to do that but you will eventually move on. For me on the other hand I loved her so damn much that I may never want to be In another relationship again. I have been played for a fool 1 too many times and I'm unfortunately drained. In the end know what you are worth don't play these silly games with someone. I mean let's be honest here, if you guys did get back together (and if I got back together with my girlfriend). Do you really think everything it will be the same, do you really think your relationship will be just how you guys left it. So know your worth and keep your head up and keep moving moving forward don't stop for anybody.
Thank you for the advice. I am in this setuation right now. I had a great advice watching your vedios . Lately her responds was : i am lost i dont know how i feel . I stayed silent and then she added ( i dont feel happy right now neither sad , i am observing). My answer was ( I understand. When ever you feel to talk let me know ). While. I am giving her the space i am working on my self for the better . Thank you 🙏🏼
;;There is this powerfulman who help restored back my broken relationship after many years of separation, he can help you too via his Whatsapp on (+ 2 3 4 9 0 7 1 2 2 8 0 9 7);::::
Hi Gerard, Am happy this video has been helpful. Once you control your emotions, you will get more clarity on your situation. If you’d like to learn more, you can begin by joining our free masterclass here. relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass At the end of this masterclass, you will also get some information on how you can submit your application for the program. And in case you’re curious as to how life-changing this program is, or how it is MILES beyond what other programs can offer, check out the links below! Client Review Videos: ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
This is what i was going through till i told here that we should give both of our self space for each an every one of us to build on here self and project then come back after 3months without seing each other so that when we will see each other we are going to réorganise our relationship
I stumbled on these videos but it wasn't a mistake as it's exactly what I needed to hear it just put everything in a different better perspective for me so thank you.
Great content! My LTR failed after nearly three years due to my insecurities and anexity. Your channel has been very helpful. She asked for time and space two weeks ago and then dumped me last week. Currently focused on self improvement and moving forward while I build myself back up during no contact. Three weeks sober and personal counseling have been wonderful.
@@htokid7299 no cap I think my girl after 4 years just got bored and wanted me to stop asking her to party says she wants a break to miss me more but I doubt she’ll be back idk if she deserves me but man I miss her everyday she went home even if I saw her everyday
I am making changes helping around the house, spending more time with my daughters and going to the gym. I feel real good inside doing this, but she’s not taking my changes well. She’s constantly saying after 18 yrs now you do this, is not worth it, I don’t love you anymore. Be happy yourself in your ways because I am looking for my happiness. She says many things that not only hurt, but make wonder if I’ll be able to eventually gain her back. Can you pls give me tips on how to properly answer when she says all this things, without pushing her back.
First time i am watching a realistic understanding of break up he has good insight of the underlying causes of breakup.geoffrey i want you to explain what is that bettering ourself for the betterment if you can make seperate video on this it will be very much useful❤
You're the best coach so far..I'm so into this girl I don't want any guy to talk to her so I hv become a little manipulative so I'm gonna try to use this approach..and I feel ok it will work
Thanks for this video i have learned a lot and i did the right thing by giving her space and respecting her decision and not contacting her so she can be in a state to forgive me for the wrongs i did to her
I am facing the break for the first time. I can not sleep at nights . I am trying to give her a space and not to contact her as I've learnt here . She asked for a month break after 5 months being together. it is so out of the blue for me. Then I said to her " if you want to breakup , say it straight" to which she replied " no, I want just a break". then she added the next what freaked me out " if you have one night stand with someone during this period , and when we get back together, I won't ask you about it". then I responded like " what the heck! How would you even think that way? I have feelings for you and not gonna do anything like that" Anyway this whole conversation ended with a thing , that she wants a break , with freedom for both of us. So my worry and fear like .... what about loyalty and devotion during this period at least? I do not hide it , I am afraid she can meet someone in terms of freedom, even if she said she doesn't need it . So that the meaning of her suggesting the break is so controversial for me . Do I need to end with her and move on? Because I can understand breakups with freedom, I can not understand breaks with freedom.. maybe I Gotta learn something more
I have a situation I need advice on: my ex broke up with me a week ago after a 3 year relationship saying she was confused and didn’t know what to do but I begged for 3 days to stay together which didn’t work so I waited around 4 days an send “Hey, sorry I was acting the way I did a few days ago. That wasn’t me. I honestly feel just as stressed about other things in my life too and it won’t happen again. Wish you well.” She responded “It’s okay, I’ve been bitchy and angry lately too, I think it’s just stress and trying to deal with emotions. “ I then said “I’m open again to try again in the future but my mind has changed a lot sense we talked last and I need to work on myself for me and if I move on I move on” which she than said “That’s exactly where I’m at, focus on myself and ensure that I’m happy, let time heal a little bit and then if we find each other we find each other” Did I blow my chances of getting back together and will no contact work?
Hi Kaden Packard, There is never a tipping point in long-term relationships and marriages. If you can prove to your partner you are the best option, they will always pick you. Remember we are asking them to spend their one and only life with us. For them to do that we have to be the best!
Just over a week since my love of 6 years left me. She intends to rent somewhere and told me that she cares but no longer loves me. We are not young and I worry for her future. She said she finds it hard to tell me when she's unhappy and bottles things up so they explode - like it did 10 days ago. It hit me 3 days ago that the reason may well be that I started treating her and talking to her like a mate, not my partner in life and most all a lady. I was swearing and cursing at things that would seem natural when with my buddies. Bit it's not the way to behave in front of her. I can offer her safety and security in her future with a beautiful home where we have spent such happiness. But she still has chosen to go. I didn't realise how bad I was. We spoke over the phone 3 days ago where she confirmed my worst nightmare, she's leaving. She's coming here in 5 days time for her things. I gather that the solution is to tell her I believe I now know why it went wrong and see if she agrees. I then have to convince her I'll return to my old, gentler ways. Which I most certainly will. When she does come here I have learnt from you to remain calm and unemotional and not try and control or force the issue. Thank you.
what if she had an emotional affair leading upto breakup and now she is with him...? he's successful, mild mannered, and they supposedly get along great and never argue and have tons in common! I supported the friendship because he was supposedly gay. Now hes confused.I supported the friendship and watched her drift away. Im 99% done with her. Cant allow her back in.
We’re apart now for 3 weeks and I am living under the fact that she has filed for divorce and thinks it will not ever work for us…I am trying my best to remain hopeful and we have been spending time together and communicating but she is so negative towards me
Hey guys! Thanks for watching and I hope that was helpful. Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited)
💪 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions
🗣 Join the FB Group! -> facebook.com/groups/1032426806961329/
Geoffrey thanks again for all your help here on youtube whilst i really cant afford to do the masterclass but i need to know something, whilst every guy here would like to know when but that is like asking how long is a piece of string? what I want to know is what signs i should be looking for? when is the right time not in a chronological sense but how to tell is she ready? thanks again
I like the straight and honest approach ,yes we need to work on ourselves !
What if you married and you are not sure you want her back?
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Philippians 4 : 6
Thank you
Amen
Amen❤️
This video made me smile like crazy, and I've watched it 6 or 7 times today. The reason this video makes me happy, is because it made me realize that I've reached a point where I act and think exactly like this. I've finally begun accepting that she wants space, that I must give her the space to work on her emotions and process her thoughts, while I work in my own issues. I am willing to wait for however long it takes, because I want to better myself for the sake of me, to be a better person and father.
Hi Omnivore,
Happy that this video have been so helpful in your situation… Once you understand why your partner needs time and space you can start the rebuilding process of safety & trust.
Hey ......is everything alright now?.....can you please share how you were able to work on this?
I hope everything is good and went well with urs. Just going through the same thing with my misso and it’s definitely devastating as I’m just uncertain about my future but everyday waking up and just trying to focus on myself has helped. I still overthink and get worried about it a lot but everyday I can see it get better and I’m being more happy working on myself and doing things I want to do
Great comments man think I need to take this on board too. It’s horrible feeling going through a seperation as we speak
I just wanted to give an update - Me and her are no longer married. But it was a decision made in unison. We agreed that we had been drifting apart for a long time, and that we would be better suited as just friends. She still enjoys her alone time, and I am slowly starting to open up when it comes to dating.
We are better friends than we have been in years, since a lot of the tension is now gone. And although this video, and Geoffrey's other videos, didn't end up saving my marriage, I have learned SO much that I will bring with me into a future relationship.
So, thank you Geoffrey.
Relationships are so fragile nowadays, and “she” can detonate it at any time, for any reason, logical or otherwise.... not even worth it.
true
Facts
Damn too on point yo it's ridiculous
Yes woman are weak they think they are strong. Go find a province girl in the Philippines that hasn’t been molested by western media and you will find a good loyal hardworking woman who will never leave your side.
If she says she needs space, give her the universe. You must ALWAYS be ready to walk away forever, and mean it.
Space is key. After watching this I’ve come to realize and understand that I was focused on the outcome rather then to just give space and time. It’s been almost two and a half weeks since everything hit the fan but it’s been on the downhill for more then 4 years. I’ve come to the realization that I’ve caused a lot of pain and hopelessness for my wife of 7 years together for over 12 years. I’m now on the path of changing myself first and permanently. Your videos have been getting me through these past couple weeks and I truly appreciate all you do to help men help themselves. Thank you.
Love it, glad you are seeing the spirit behind the message that I am sharing. Thank you for your comment and support.
that makes two of us its hard all the way around but its gota get done
What ended up happening?
I was completely shattered when she said she wanted space, everything you’re saying is so true and I was so scared of losing her forever. But watching this really helped and made me realize that I just need to work on myself and have patience and respect her decision for wanting space.
My GF said she needs space/a break but she’s also moving out, what does that mean?
@@Luciusaurelius it means she found a new pogo stick. Let her go
How did things turn out?
Did she come back?
what happened? care to share?
I am in a LDR for almost 3 years but she said she needed space weeks back because she thinks that we couldn't make it together in the future. I really can't handle the thought of loosing her, I kept texting her and being just spamming her with reassurance and love. These past weeks I kept asking her to tell me how she feels whenever she is ready but she never did. After watching this video I understand now I should focus on myself and get ready for the result even though it may be bad. Even though I love her more than anything, but I believe right now I should just be patient.
Update officially ended things
3 July 2022
She came back after 1 month but all she did was left again. I decided to move on because holding on to someone who already gave on our relationship is just causing yourself nothing but pain. Trust me cut off contact, she keeps trying to contact me but just focus on you now.
Now I am working out daily and focusing more on my life, I feel a lot better about things.
For all the people out there struggling right now with theirs. All the best to you and if it goes downhill then don't be afraid to focus on yourself, there's more people out there that will appreciate you.
Everything will be okay.
I’m going through this now. 8 years together. She’s been gone for just over a week. I’ve made some big self improvements with the time with my job and myself.
Congratulations Rob.
Just to update. We ended up getting back together for a week now. She just started moving her things back in. She was gone in total for a month and a half while I worked on myself. I'm a lot better now.
@@rob9368 That's great news, your story inspired me I hope it inspires other's as well. I hope everything in your life continues to fall into place.✌🏾
Hey rob, i wanted to know something.
So I've been dating this girl for 8 months now, we love each other soo much and suddenly because of some dumb decisions of my she doesn't want to talk to me,she hasn't broken up with me or anything but she doesn't talk to me and tells me not to text her,she hasn't blocked me and this posts sad stories on Instagram, but she also suddenly says i love you and i miss you?and to make things worse im the most anxious person i know, so it's really difficult for me to go through this tough time, I just wanted to know will my situation get any better? And can you suggest me some tips to ease my anxiety? It's so hard on me, i check my phone every now and then just to see if she texts me.
My god. This is my situation to a T!!!!!! I was solely focused on the outcome. I need to watch this video every single day. Ugh. Thank you so much.
You got this!
Did you get back with your partner?
Any update??
Update? Lol
New Sub... Wife left 2 months ago and I can't blame her. She's a good woman and deserves the best and I wasn't giving her my best...
Man I'm in a very similar situation. Same here. Currently going through a process of self-improvement. I hope she believes my changes.
Not alone here... me also.. 3 months now.
Same here man. It’s tough. Hope we can all come out on the other side !
My wife is leaving soon.
Don’t even know what to do. But I’m
Working on emotional safety
Simp.
It felt like you were speaking directly to me, even though we never met. Good vid
Thanks for the kind words Malik! Glad the work we put unto every single one of our videos is being recognized!
Did it help I just lost my girl 😔
@@cosmicmeat3277 I didn't get her back but, I learned what was wrong on my end of the relationship and his vids helped me gain closure. I'll be better next time is how I look at it.
same!
Not sure if I want to go through the dating game again. I love my wife. Great video
How did it go, Donald?
Any update??
Donald? DONALD??!
I sincerely appreciate your wisdom and education on this issue. It gives a light of hope during dark times.
Did things work out for you?
Yes i do expect my husband to be a good listener & not giving judgement when i said something . It really makes me reluctant to express my feeling to him.
My girlfriend had asked for space and I was falling apart for the first few days and then I realized that I had been overwhelming her with to much love and attention and this space has helped me realize all of that and your video helped me lose my anxiety about the whole situation so thank you so much
🥰🥰There is this powerfulman who help restored back my broken relationship after many years of separation, he can help you too via his Whatsapp on
(+ 2 3 4 9 0 7 1 2 2 8 0 9 7)🥰 thanks me later
Are you still with her now?
So I’m here a bit late, I made the mistake of trying to pull her back in after she asked for space and she came back temporarily but said she didnt feel attached, and it just didn’t feel right. So I told her that I respected that and if she didn’t think it would work I backed her up on the decision to end things. This was about a week ago and we’ve been in contact through text, and once in person. She says she needs time and I’m smart enough to not pour my heart out and beg for her back. But I understand I’ve handled some things poorly, and hope to restore what I lost
How are things now?
yes, cause I’m going through the same thing would love an update on it
yea, same brothers
Sheesh man where do yall find the strength to give her time
@@dadunbar20 we just gotta stop simpin lol 😂 I used to struggle bad with this
I personally don't understand the space thing but as I am going through it and watching this video I understand how important it is to a woman to have it and I've had my impatient episodes where I plead for her to comeback. I need to control my emotions, work on myself and give her space to heal and gather her thoughts.
We are in the same boat you are not alone
It's bad! But anyway let's see how it goes.
How are things now?
This is the realest advice I've heard on this topic. Way better than those "five ways to..." or "three texts to send..." articles out there. I'm glad I found your channel, my girlfriend of almost five years just moved out on wants to take a break, and everything you've described encapsulates my situation so well.
Did it end up well?
I came here because, as the woman in this situation, I'm struggling with his "changes" being sincere. I'm trying to figure it out, and the more we talk and open up to each other, the more confused I feel. Thank you for giving this advice in such an authentic manner, hopefully it will help many couples resolve their issues!
That's why I clicked here too!
I just started watching your videos and these are exactly what I needed thanks! I've been really miserable and constantly texting her solutions but I really need to give her the space that she asked for cause I was afraid and worried she will leave me. This is my first real relationship ever, and I hope this process goes well. Thank you!
Keep watching my videos and you no longer need to hope!
@@GeoffreySetiawan Thank you soo much Geoffrey! My gf messaged me today saying that she misses me after we were in no contact for a few days. I kept watching your videos to not only help me feel better, but make myself a better person than I was before. Everything you taught me was 100% accurate. Thanks!
How long were you guys in a relationship if you don’t mind me asking
@@christopherkim1581 yea that’s what I’m wondering I been on break for 2 weeks my 4 year GF ain’t missing me at all she enjoys the free time seems like don’t pick a party girl idk if she’ll ever come back
@@nickleavitt2671 how is it going?
Seriously such a comfort to hear just to here you talk. My girlfriend and I have been together for 8 years and we were 17 when we got together, we had to move in together quickly because her family was moving away and she didn’t want to leave. So we stayed at my dads for 7 years and saved/ bought our house together and we have always been extremely happy. Everyone is super shocked to hear that she wants to part ways because we are know as the power couple and have been referenced as Marshall and Lilly from the show HIMYM if you know that one. But She wants space for us to grow and I’m terrified I just want to move back home. This could not have came at a worse time my grandmother passed away Sunday and we were all very close. I know space is what she needs I really want to move back home she is my everything.
Thank you for your kind words... Really appreciate it! Give her space, work on yourself and everything else will fall into place...🙂
Hey man, any updates? Also I’m with you 8 years since we were 19. Any way yea Geoffrey is the best one I’ve found on RUclips especially for long term people. No playing ego games, just better yourself. And I’m in like week 4 of space and I think I’m finally nearing that point of not latching to the outcome. But that also scares me because then I’m like well then if I stop caring about the outcome does that mean that the relationship is over??? Because definitely not the outcome I prefer.. I’ll make peace with eventually and respect her decision but definitely not preferred… but yea I hope it worked out for you man.
@@Rbear266 yeah mine isn’t 8 years but year and half and idk we’ve been very close and we moved in together at my parents very early and now she’s want more space to do her own thing which I completely understand and I’m trying to do my own thing. But I fear I’m also too attached to the outcome and going to be too pushy. I’m just afraid if it’s because she’s falling out of love with me as she doesn’t know if this relationship is going to last but she’s made it some what clear that she thinks it’s because she doesn’t feel happy in the relationship but loves me a lot and wants more time to be able to do her own thing. I can only hope giving her space will work as I know jsut continually pushing like I’ve somewhat done previously isn’t going to work. Plus it feels super weird to go against what u want to do
@@nickc8656 well my girl just “officially” broke up with me 5 days ago. But has been reaching out everyday with weird messages about ‘look at this, I just want you to be proud of me’ which is confusing the shit out of me. But I’m trying no contact meaning not initiating but responding for now and might have to send her a message about like please stop sending me these messages because they are messing with my emotions. If we are broken up we are broken up
@@Rbear266 how are you now?
Being honest this is very true. Being stuck to an outcome keeps you stuck in the cycle.
Hi ShogunCal,
Absolutely! One you can shift your focus from the outcome that’s the moment when things start to change.
Great advice again, people forgot about something, if you were in a "healthy relation" (that exclud toxic relation), even if you had problably mess up few things. Be sure there is a lot of things you did right, and your partner is not stupid, at some point the "need space" will help eachother to reminder good things, cause when emotion are messed up, the partner who ask for space, at this point he/she see only negative things (including her/his trauma if partner need time to find him/herself). In the other hand, the one who have to accept that "i need space" feel he/she cannot live without that person. So when you wait few weeks or months, at some point, the water will remain calm again and at that moment you and the partner will be able to communicate again. If the relation wasn't a toxic one, be sure the partner will came back eventually, but eachother need first to work on themself. So trust your partner and give them the space they need, it whill just show how respectfull you are
Exactly. Well said!
Best Comment ever,thank you so much 👍
Very true and well said
I had this friend who would perceive me needing space as me requesting for the friendship to end. He would send me messages guilting me into seeing how good our friendship is and how bad it is to walk away from it. And then when I try to explain to them what I actually mean and how it doesn’t mean the end. They would just give me a few days to a week of space where they continue to just share mini messages. And then after that small period they would come and guilt trip me that I’m not doing anything to fix our friendship and that I destroyed it!
Sometimes needing space just means needing space. Not just from one particular person but from everyone. It means needing space to step back and introspect. To work on some deep emotions and deal with them. It means I just need silence to be with myself and work on myself. It’s just that.
No need to take it personally and freak out about it.
I think so many people ghost when they say they need space that it can be hard to know people’s intentions
I recently started talking to this girl and she said she needed space and which I have given her. I was hoping to at least reach out and wish her a happy birthday and see if shes doing any better. I think ive actually grown a bit because in the past i would freak out with other girls and go off the deep end, but with her Im learning to be more patient.
How have you stopped ?
Some of the problems I find is that gossip between your wife/girlfriends friends can be very damaging. She has most likely spoken to them about the things which annoy her about you! As we know people tend to dwell on the negative points and not broadcasting the positive memories. Especially if her friends are not having luck in relationships and your wife/girlfriend tends to moan about her man to make her feel at their level. If Her female friends don't have children they are a bad influence, The ones who do have children but divorced are never likely to admit to your wife/girlfriend that they made a mistake. Also the chance of your wife/girlfriend telling her friends she made a mistake or swallowing her pride and changing her mind is also unlikely.
This is exactly my position. I found out my wife’s friends were talking negative about me and that had an effect on her. My wife admits that her friends are toxic and they do her no good.
I don’t know if won’t be single again I love my girl I do anything to get her back
Thank you so much for this video, everything you said I witnessed just a few days ago and thought I was on the right track but I was fooling myself and your right, she was suspicious, I understood why but it still frustrated me. I gotta focus on me. I don’t have to have the goal of proving it to her. That’ll just be the outcome. I gotta put my growth as priority for myself. Then she’ll see it. You taught me that today.
I've lost my partner and they have made it clear that they are never coming back. But I'm not giving up hope. I am going to stop worrying about getting her back and start working on myself.
Hey Pranjal,
Work on yourself to become the best! Your partner and the external world will naturally see your changes…
We have had many clients in our program that have made massive changes to re-attract their partners.
And in case you’re curious as to how life-changing this program is, or how it is MILES beyond what other programs can offer, check out the links below!
Client Review Videos:
ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
Client Review Screenshots:
drive.google.com/drive/folders/1Gp8UpRV9uMlFx763BfuQnEqN930FQb7b?usp=sharing
@@GeoffreySetiawan I believe it too, but in my case as it was a distant relationship, my ex wouldn't be able to see how much I've changed unless I ask them to talk or ask them to meet or atleast let me visit them
@@pranjalmehtani1729 how's it going? Did it work out
@@clayallen4354 Nope, it's been 1 year now, never had the chance to contact her. Deep down I know she's never coming back but I'm never giving up hope because that is my choice and something I control.
@@pranjalmehtani1729 sorry to hear. At some point you may have to make the choice. Are you guys married?
If you are a homeowner and she asks for space this is where it becomes a whole different issue. I honored the space that she wanted, and financially I don't have the money to pay rent somewhere while paying my mortgage. Regardless I paid for an Airbnb apartment for 22 days. I am still maintaining my house lawn and pool etc When she is not home in the evening. So there is a timeline of when I am coming back home. After my rental is up and I have no more money. Either we figure this out and continue to work on things, or a for sale sign goes in the front lawn. We've been together 28 years, and if we can't figure out if we want to be together after that long of being apart we lose everything. So in my opinion this is where separation gets very complicated when you own a home together.
Great information. Looking for the outcome instead of understanding the process makes a lot of sense to me. We sometimes just jump ahead wanting to get the results we want.
Exactly! Thank you for tuning in!
Absolutely amazing insight, thank you. I've recently been through a breakup where my partner said she needed to be on her own, and my first instinct was, "I need to tell her how I feel immediately and try and get her back!" Thank God I found this video - I'm now spending the foreseeable future giving her space, working on myself and how to become a better person in my relationships...whether that's with my ex or someone else in future.
This is exactly why i keep failing in relationships,you hit all the points!!
I forced her to rebuild the relationship without working on myself at all after she asked for a break and she had prepared her mind for a breakup , I will follow these tips and keep updating! Thanks a lot :)
Update?
Thanks for watching peeps! What did you find most insightful? Leave a comment below! I'd love to hear from yah!
GEOFFREY THANKS .MY QUESTION IS I HAVE DIVORCE MY WIFE AFTER 7 YEARS IN MARTIAGE . SHE NEEDED TO MOVE ON HER OWN . AFTER SHE MOVE OFF FROM ME . NOW SHE TIMES CALL ME TO HELP HER WITH THE KIDS .SHE WANT ME TAKE THE KIDS TO THE KINDERGARTEN. I DO NOT CALL HER I HAVE DECIDED TO DO NO CONTACT .SINCE IT WAS HER DECISION TO MOVE OUT FROM ME . SHE TAKE KIDS FROM ME AND SHE NEED HELP WITH THE KIDS HOW COMES I THINK SHE IS USING ME . I NEED YOUR HELP . EMAIL ME .THRU ASUM114@HOTMAIL.COM
Fast vs right ! It changed my thinking completely. Time heals all wounds and I must be a consistent positive presence during this time and understand if she is who I truly love then the time will not be bothersome and patience will be required. It is a true test of love and manhood in my opinion. Thank you for your insight. It means so much
I’ve changed for her many of times but after I get her back I go back to my normal self. 2 months ago I changed for myself for the first time in this 3 year relationship of back and forths. I thought things were getting better but she doesn’t believe that I actually changed for myself she thinks I’m just trying to get her back again. I thought I had her back and was gaining trust but now she wants some space. I think she jsut want time to really think if she’s willing to give me another shot. And if she can get past the resentment she has towards me. We’ll see what happens. I’m gonna give her some space. She said she still loves me and wants things to work but needs time to think if she can give me another chance and get past her resenent and trust issues with me. I’ve never cheated or anything like that I’ve just been a shitty boyfriend and I didn’t realize it for along time what the issues were.
The need to give her space is clearly a massive oversight for most men and sure it’s good to be a man and take the initiative but this only seems to work as long as the lady does her bit too and not just blaming the man all the time. Surely it has to be a two way process?
Thank you for this. I’m starting to better myself by working more hours at my job and wanting to be the provider that I need to be but it’s good that me and my partner still keeping little contact with each other. I’m praying that she sees the growth in me as a man
Thanks again for the information. I really like the point that you say you need to improve yourself for yourself. I find myself understanding that more and more everyday. I'm finding this whole process more positive to me and becoming a better person.
In the end it up to you to become the better person you want to be. " There are no shortcuts" and I wouldn't have it any other way
Exactly! Glad you had that realization :)
I watched 50 years of video in RUclips regarding this topic but didn't motivate me but now I feel im on the right track
This is the best coach and I can’t understand why he’s not more famous it’s crazy this worked for me
I hope many couples watch this video. Very very very good. Myself, I am happily single and glad to have my own space :)
I’m in the I want my space situation, but I found out she was already talking to someone else. We’ve been together for 14 yrs. :( I’m devastated…
dw bro, it will be exciting for her to feel single again and talking to a new man. but after a little bit that excitement will wear off and she will miss you alot again. Just dont reach out to her she will come back
Insightful...actually realization came much later..still processing the fact that "its always how long it shud take ME to unlearn-learn-to communicate-not ro communicate-react-not to react- face the battle inside"..detaching from outcome with positive mindset too tough..but may be the way
A lot mental pain on losing a wonderful person. I can deploy for a year, but dont want loose her for a second.
This happened to me. She wanted space or a "break". We talked it trough she said she just needs time for herself to clear her mind and process her feelings for me and than she moved out from my house, took all of her belongings, told me everything will be fine. 3 days later shes dating another guy. This was a woman I was about to propose. I loved her sho much and she loved me for some time. We never spoke again since.
Ugh I’m so sorry I don’t get that. Wondering if that’s what my boyfriend did when he asked for a break a month ago
Smh
My biggest fear is that the guy she is talking to will sweep her off her feet. Your videos are helping me but there’s still that little edge and I can’t stop thinking about this other guy she’s talking to will take her away from me.
If you think you "own her" which is implied by the comment about some other guy "taking her away," then you are in the wrong head space. You can't own or control any other human. You can only fix your own mindset so that you validate yourself and require zero validation from your partner. Once you do this, it becomes clear whether you really want that person in your life. A man who has high self regard doesn't keep people in his life who are lacking in integrity and loyalty. He understands we live in an abundant world with plenty of high quality partners available who would align more closely to his values.
I like your delivery, makes it very easy to understand and Implement, subbed, good luck with the new channel 👍
Thank for the support! I'm sure you'll find many gems here :)
I am so thankful for you guiding me towards this video Geoffrey. I will have to watch it a few times for sure to learn very well the concept. Thank you for all your great information, and great explanation on how to approach this type of situations. Stay blessed!
I think this is the healthiest video I’ve seen on this topic
Man you are so right!!! It's been hard during this separation but I'm seriously trying to better myself without sabotaging myself, I'm still sad and I miss her of course but I want to be a better ME, everything you say is so true!! You are helping me so much
Did it work out my man?
@datyellaman447 did it work
I’m just so used to “I need some space” turning into they actually have someone else and I was just there to keep them occupied.
Right,that's exactly how I feel bro
It’s been two months. I requested to give her space, was that wrong of me? It’s because I pushed her away due to self doubt and invading her space in a way. She had a lot going on personally for her. So I wanted to give her space to figure out things on her own. I want to reach out to her to take accountability for my actions because within these last two months I have been working on myself and some days I did self destruct but I picked myself up. The changes I made are permanent, I understand I can’t always be around or up under her 24/7 because she will feel suffocated in the relationship. I found enjoyment in doing things alone and enjoying my own company.
Nice! It's not wrong to ask for more space, the more important question is how you go about doing it.
This is really helpful and has been getting me through my separation from my wife. We’ve been separated since Xmas eve 2022 and it’s been so brutal. I did all the pushy begging and pleading, looking for answers. She says she wants space to grow and then we can start the relationship again from the start and forget all the negativity in the past. Fast forward to now and I’m not initiating contact and trying to better myself. She still messaged me and says she still fancies me and loves me but the anxiety of losing her is painful. Thank you Geoffrey for your videos.
I did the exact same. I’m 6 weeks in and just now discovering how I should’ve acted. It can’t be too late, I’m still hopeful.
@@cmoneygg5980 stay strong, and keep a positive mindset. It’s easier said than done but the moment you start to focus on yourself, you’ll notice a shift and your other half will notice too. I wish you all the luck.
@@housearrest4443 update?
@@mrkadiz1244 hey, it’s average. We still communicate. She reaches out to me first, I don’t contact her, it’s at her pace. She invited me up last week for drinks and chat which was nice. She said she doesn’t trust me emotionally which is fair. So I bed to build that up again. She asked me if I’d done anything with anyone else and I said no, neither has she, so she says. But I believe her. So it’s just a long game. Thanks for checking in.
@@housearrest4443what ended up happening?
Very interesting to learn from another point of view. This will help lots of people
This is definitely my situation I'm really struggling with giving her, her space ...she has admitted to me that she has been talking to somebody but she also said it's nothing...so knowing that that's what's making it so hard for me to give her space .... we been together for 18 years
Stay tuned to this Fridays video to see what to do if there is someone else.
How did it end up going brother? Good I hope.
@@htokid7299 we are engaged bro
@@dadunbar20 I am going through this right now. We've been together for a year and she says that her clinical, life, and a relationship is all too stressful. She said that staying w/ me means marriage + kids immediately (which I told her that we can wait) but I guess I missed the part where told me it was stressed and maybe I responded the wrong way idk. Any advice?
It’s been two days and this video absolutely pin pointed me to a T. This is so heart wrenching but I need to be have patience. I subscribed because your approach seems like the right advice.
Your methods are different than most popular authors on YT. However, it feels correct... like in the heart and chest i trust this, not that it will work 100 but instead, its showing required attributes (kindness, patience, selflessness,etc) relationships need
Welcome to the new way of approaching relationships.
There is this powerfulman who help restored back my broken relationship after many years of separation, he can help you too via his Whatsapp on
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I’m attached to the outcome and it’s putting me through an emotional roller coaster, I haven’t contacted her in anyway…..remaining strong
Hi Ray, this is one of the first things I teach my clients in my program. We must detach from our partners and or outcomes. Watch this video to get a peak into how we teach them to do this.
ruclips.net/video/LK0gJ7oFciE/видео.html
Good video, 4 weeks ago my wife told me we’re separating and she was gonna get her own place. I was devastated. But it’s also been a blessing because I was not there emotionally for her for years, I started seeking counseling and my eyes are wide open to the pain I have caused. I’m trying to better myself every day. If it works out for us great, but if not I will be a better person in the end. We’re still in the same house and her new place will be ready in 2 weeks. Yesterday I think was good and bad. We ended up having the best sex in years, we then had a great day shopping for her new place and getting lunch, we talked like we never have. That night she said this was a great day, but what will tomorrow be like, she’s still very much got a wall up and not sure if my change is real, but I truly think she’s starting to see I’m doing this for real, now the bad, having a day like that just really terrifying to me knowing she’s still leaving and complicates the situation. We shall see where this ends, but I’m hopeful, she’s been my best friend for 25 years.
So what happened? I'm experiencing something similar
@@Midwest31792 We continue at the same pace. We’re slowly getting to know each other again. She admitted this week she’s not sure she can ever forgive me completely for the past. But she also stated she is jealous someone new will get this new improved version of me. Right now I have to just keep doing what’s right for myself and building on my own strengths in life and hopefully one day we can find our way back to each other. I know she needs to see the other side of life and date other guys and see what’s out there. It’s hard and I try not to think about it, but if she doesn’t she will never be fully committed to our marriage if she did choose to try again. Yes it’s high risk for my emotional well being and yes it’s possible she could find someone else that gives her everything emotionally I never could, but then again maybe she wont. I have surrendered to the fact that it’s in Gods hands and if it’s meant to be it will someday happen. Everyday is tough and I think about my poor choices I made that caused this. I hope this helps man and I’m praying for you
@@Junior-zf5edupdate?
Geoffrey, you are so wise and intellectual. Although this video is meant for men, it also helps women reflect on themselves. Thank you for sharing your knowledge :-) you’ve given me a glimpse of hope.
Thanks Lyn! Appreciate you taking the time to leave this comment :)
18 months and I’ve done all 3. #4 she believes my changes are real but might not be totally convinced. Separated 4 months and today I’m told she wants to build a new house so she can move out of her apartment
I can't give you any insights, cause I cannot give myself a break from your videos. They are making so much sense and don't want to stop. Lol.
This simple short video could've saved me months and months of time. Thank you so much Mr. Setiawan!
I’m in a tough situation. My girl and I have been together almost 7 years. We are on a break now but we still live together. I have nowhere to go. It is very hard to give her space because I don’t have a car. I leave and go for a walk and within a hour she calls and ask me where I am. She told me that we are more likely to get back together. It is very difficult but I love her and I have been working on myself and she is noticing.
have you tried not answering? let her wonder about you bro, she needs that space. when she asks what you were doing just tell her you needed some exercise. take up a hobby you can do outdoors and go do that. photography, painting/drawing, literally anything, just get out of the house and let her think about you.
@@aehrasyt yes I have not answered. One time I was gone for hours and she called me five times in 20 minutes. She got mad. It’s weird though because we still hug and kiss each other. It feels like we are not even on a break sometimes. I tell her I’m going somewhere and she want to go with me.
Keep watching my videos an learn some frameworks you can use yo get to a in-win solution on this.
Hey man. I really appreciated this video. So a quick synopsis. We had been dating for 2.5 years. I have a 3 year old son, and she is not the mother. The initial reason for the breakup was because she still hasn’t met my son, the lack of security I gave her and the drama that my sons mother can cause. She loves me very deeply and has thought a lot and wants a future with me but because of those three reasons she has lost hope that can happen. A couple weeks ago I wrote her a letter and we met up and I really shared my heart and I Believe she heard it and was very responsive. She told me the next day that if she was gonna come back she needed time and space.
Although my situation has some specific details would you say all your tips still apply.
Sorry for how long this is haha.
Alright man! Keep going!
Geoffrey Setiawan thank you! My bad the last part was a questions. According to my situation do all your tips still apply?
Ole i am in the same boat but the other way around. Honestly i could do what you did just to hear you out without disrupting the space she has asked for from me. Would be ok to share some thoughts on how to go about it.
Wow you have just spoken not even about me but into me😌you have no idea about how you relaxed my mind….seriously have been rushing more into getting her back rather than working on to my self.Thanks mr.Geof
Hmmm. Great video and definitely on point! My Wife feels a break is needed but our issues are so fixable I said let's just take the necessary steps to fix things by making changes and forgiving one another for things. I have seen though she has entertained 2 guys back and forth on Facebook messenger so my thinking is a break would be to do just that and I don't agree with it but I know it's nothing I can control but I'm still praying and hopeful about the marriage overall. Im already working on myself but ofcourse we're trying to do a separation in the same home that we share a child together as well so it's tough to actually leave the home for either one of us.
May I ask how does it goes? My wife also asked for space after 24 yrs of married and I'm hurt so much. She can't talk the problem with me but she can talk to other guys during our "cooling of period"
Geoffrey. Great video. It's always important for her to work on her self and "being the version" too for betterment of the relationship.
With all due respect, that should NOT have been your takeaway from the video :) Don't play victim.
As a woman i can say this guy is really good!
I love your videos. Right now i am separated from my wife due to some of my anger issues.
This video helped me a lot.
Thank you.
this is going to help tons of people! thanks so much for sharing this with people who might be in that situation!
Thanks so much man. My girlfriend and I both agreed to give eachother space mainly on her side though I wanted to give her space. I noticed every time I pushed for her she withdrew from me. My main objective is to better my self for me and I know when I better my self It will also benefit the relationship. I'm hanging strong and watching these videos keeps my motivation up because they bring me hope. I can only hope she comes back to me and only time can fix this. I appreciate your help
What happened? Did she come back??
@@ismailcreisat8726 unfortunately it was just a sad excuse to break up with me. What I have learned from this experience is that if she needs space it would be best to emotionally detach from her during this time and if you fall out of love with her then she clearly wasn't worth your time and effort. You shouldnt make her your first priority if she is gonna make you her last option. I believe the break thing is stupid and childish and if it were to happen to me again I wouldn't bother waiting for her to come back to me because if she truly loved me she would never need a break because she would talk to me about things that bother her and she wouldn't treat me like I was a last option. I treated her really good I mean yea I made my mistakes but I'm by no means perfect but I made the effort to fix my mistakes if she told me something was bothering her and I always fixed my mistakes and I changed for her. All I'm saying is that if you were really good to her and you can consider your self a king in her deck of cards and she wants to reshuffle, she will most likely end up with a bunch of jokers and she will regret leaving you. If you end up suffering through this stage I highly recommend to detach from the relationship and leave her behind. I understand it will be hard to do that but you will eventually move on. For me on the other hand I loved her so damn much that I may never want to be In another relationship again. I have been played for a fool 1 too many times and I'm unfortunately drained.
In the end know what you are worth don't play these silly games with someone. I mean let's be honest here, if you guys did get back together (and if I got back together with my girlfriend). Do you really think everything it will be the same, do you really think your relationship will be just how you guys left it. So know your worth and keep your head up and keep moving moving forward don't stop for anybody.
@@blitzkrieggaming8341 amen brother amen
Thank you for the advice. I am in this setuation right now. I had a great advice watching your vedios . Lately her responds was : i am lost i dont know how i feel . I stayed silent and then she added ( i dont feel happy right now neither sad , i am observing). My answer was ( I understand. When ever you feel to talk let me know ). While. I am giving her the space i am working on my self for the better . Thank you 🙏🏼
;;There is this powerfulman who help restored back my broken relationship after many years of separation, he can help you too via his Whatsapp on
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I wish i found this earlier, Youve saved me from so many anxiety attacks it is unreal. Thank you
Love it! Here is another great video if you have been struggling with anxiety. Let me know what you think.
ruclips.net/video/LK0gJ7oFciE/видео.html
This helped me alot right now. Im on the confused stage and it cleared my mind. I hope turns out well. So I stopped sobbing and start moving.
Hi Gerard,
Am happy this video has been helpful. Once you control your emotions, you will get more clarity on your situation.
If you’d like to learn more, you can begin by joining our free masterclass here.
relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
At the end of this masterclass, you will also get some information on how you can submit your application for the program.
And in case you’re curious as to how life-changing this program is, or how it is MILES beyond what other programs can offer, check out the links below!
Client Review Videos:
ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
This is what i was going through till i told here that we should give both of our self space for each an every one of us to build on here self and project then come back after 3months without seing each other so that when we will see each other we are going to réorganise our relationship
I have and am watching this video multiple time today. Just to keep me motivated
WOW 🤩… I have had a lot of good therapy in my past … I just want to say WOW!!! So many good points!
Love it! Glad you are finding value from watching my videos. What did you find to be most eye-opening?
Im going to counseling to better myself, its been hard but im trying
I stumbled on these videos but it wasn't a mistake as it's exactly what I needed to hear it just put everything in a different better perspective for me so thank you.
Great content! My LTR failed after nearly three years due to my insecurities and anexity. Your channel has been very helpful. She asked for time and space two weeks ago and then dumped me last week. Currently focused on self improvement and moving forward while I build myself back up during no contact. Three weeks sober and personal counseling have been wonderful.
How did everything end up brother? I just got out in the same boat this week🤦🏽♂️
@@htokid7299 no cap I think my girl after 4 years just got bored and wanted me to stop asking her to party says she wants a break to miss me more but I doubt she’ll be back idk if she deserves me but man I miss her everyday she went home even if I saw her everyday
@@nickleavitt2671 how did it turned out?
Make you impatient anxious and miserable
Makes you pushy and manipulative ( she will know)
You are not ready to get to the root of the problem
Great info you are bringing peeps! Thanks for sharing!
I am making changes helping around the house, spending more time with my daughters and going to the gym. I feel real good inside doing this, but she’s not taking my changes well. She’s constantly saying after 18 yrs now you do this, is not worth it, I don’t love you anymore. Be happy yourself in your ways because I am looking for my happiness. She says many things that not only hurt, but make wonder if I’ll be able to eventually gain her back. Can you pls give me tips on how to properly answer when she says all this things, without pushing her back.
Join my masterclass -- those surface changes are not the changes that actually matter.
This information was just exactly what I needed to hear ! Finally!!
How did it go for you man?
Going through it right now. We were not dating for long time but it still touches
Hi Galv949,
What did you like most about this video?
First time i am watching a realistic understanding of break up he has good insight of the underlying causes of breakup.geoffrey i want you to explain what is that bettering ourself for the betterment if you can make seperate video on this it will be very much useful❤
You're the best coach so far..I'm so into this girl I don't want any guy to talk to her so I hv become a little manipulative so I'm gonna try to use this approach..and I feel ok it will work
Thank you for your kind words. Appreciate it! What would you say was your most insightful part of the video?
Thanks for this video i have learned a lot and i did the right thing by giving her space and respecting her decision and not contacting her so she can be in a state to forgive me for the wrongs i did to her
I am facing the break for the first time. I can not sleep at nights . I am trying to give her a space and not to contact her as I've learnt here . She asked for a month break after 5 months being together. it is so out of the blue for me. Then I said to her " if you want to breakup , say it straight" to which she replied " no, I want just a break". then she added the next what freaked me out " if you have one night stand with someone during this period , and when we get back together, I won't ask you about it". then I responded like " what the heck! How would you even think that way? I have feelings for you and not gonna do anything like that" Anyway this whole conversation ended with a thing , that she wants a break , with freedom for both of us. So my worry and fear like .... what about loyalty and devotion during this period at least? I do not hide it , I am afraid she can meet someone in terms of freedom, even if she said she doesn't need it . So that the meaning of her suggesting the break is so controversial for me . Do I need to end with her and move on? Because I can understand breakups with freedom, I can not understand breaks with freedom.. maybe I Gotta learn something more
Very well explained and I have understood the whole process of what I genuinely have to do moving forward. Thank you ❤
I find all of these great! Your amazing! I will be joining your free class!
Thank you so much. This is the REAL THING and do helpful.
Much appreciation,
Wulfy
Awesome stuff man. Thanks for taking the time to comment and happy to be able to support you!
I have a situation I need advice on: my ex broke up with me a week ago after a 3 year relationship saying she was confused and didn’t know what to do but I begged for 3 days to stay together which didn’t work so I waited around 4 days an send “Hey, sorry I was acting the way I did a few days ago. That wasn’t me. I honestly feel just as stressed about other things in my life too and it won’t happen again. Wish you well.” She responded “It’s okay, I’ve been bitchy and angry lately too, I think it’s just stress and trying to deal with emotions. “ I then said “I’m open again to try again in the future but my mind has changed a lot sense we talked last and I need to work on myself for me and if I move on I move on” which she than said “That’s exactly where I’m at, focus on myself and ensure that I’m happy, let time heal a little bit and then if we find each other we find each other” Did I blow my chances of getting back together and will no contact work?
Hi Kaden Packard,
There is never a tipping point in long-term relationships and marriages. If you can prove to your partner you are the best option, they will always pick you.
Remember we are asking them to spend their one and only life with us. For them to do that we have to be the best!
Just over a week since my love of 6 years left me. She intends to rent somewhere and told me that she cares but no longer loves me. We are not young and I worry for her future. She said she finds it hard to tell me when she's unhappy and bottles things up so they explode - like it did 10 days ago. It hit me 3 days ago that the reason may well be that I started treating her and talking to her like a mate, not my partner in life and most all a lady. I was swearing and cursing at things that would seem natural when with my buddies. Bit it's not the way to behave in front of her. I can offer her safety and security in her future with a beautiful home where we have spent such happiness. But she still has chosen to go. I didn't realise how bad I was. We spoke over the phone 3 days ago where she confirmed my worst nightmare, she's leaving. She's coming here in 5 days time for her things. I gather that the solution is to tell her I believe I now know why it went wrong and see if she agrees. I then have to convince her I'll return to my old, gentler ways. Which I most certainly will. When she does come here I have learnt from you to remain calm and unemotional and not try and control or force the issue. Thank you.
Your video always pop up in the right time..its just like God asking me to watch it
Spot on Geoff, you really were..
what if she had an emotional affair leading upto breakup and now she is with him...? he's successful, mild mannered, and they supposedly get along great and never argue and have tons in common! I supported the friendship because he was supposedly gay. Now hes confused.I supported the friendship and watched her drift away. Im 99% done with her. Cant allow her back in.
We’re apart now for 3 weeks and I am living under the fact that she has filed for divorce and thinks it will not ever work for us…I am trying my best to remain hopeful and we have been spending time together and communicating but she is so negative towards me
Very important and valuable video👏