How To Win Her Back FAST (And Why Most Men Fail)
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 17 июл 2024
- 💪 [FREE MASTERCLASS - SPOTS LIMITED]
Learn The Proven 5-Step Process to Empower Yourself to Rebuild Your Relationship/Marriage urlgeni.us/MCEP131DS
-----------------------
In this week's video, I want to show you HOW my clients are able to get such INSANE results, and how they can get it so quickly...
-I will show you the ONE thing you need to focus on to win her back
-How to master and create this ONE thing in your own marriage
-What happens when you do master this ONE thing
Through my years of being a relationship coach, I've guided my clients through every possible scenario and given them the tools they need to not only rebuild trust, but to take their relationship to heights it's never been before.
-----------------------
🎁 [GET THE FREE GUIDE]
How to Properly Lead Conversations to open Up & Heal Your Partner’s Emotions
relationshipsmastered.com/hea...
-----------------------
CHECK OUT MY POPULAR PLAYLISTS
My Clients Who Have Reconciled After Affairs
• Client Stories Who Wor...
What To Do If She Needs Space
• She Needs Space From T...
Dealing With Stonewalling in Relationship
• Stonewalling In Relati...
How to Communicate Better in Relationships
• How to Communicate Bet...
Marriage Separation Advice
• Marriage Separation Ad...
Facing Divorce? Here’s What You Can Do!
• Wife Wants a Divorce! ...
-----------------------
OTHER VIDEOS MENTIONED IN THIS VIDEO:
How to Artfully Control Your Emotions in Your Relationship or Marriage
• How to Artfully Contro...
Michael's Client Story
• Meet Michael - I Was C...
Eve's Client Story
• Meet Eve - Completely ...
How to Stop Divorce By Avoiding The Paradox of Logic & Emotional Debt
• How to Stop Divorce By...
What is a High-Value Man in Long-Term Relationships & Marriages? High-Value Men Defined
• What is a High-Value M...
Collection Of Inspiring Client Stories:
• Relationships Revival ...
-----------------------
#WinHerBack #GeoffreySetiawanReviews #RelationshipsRevival
Hey guys hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts? Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited)
💪 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> urlgeni.us/MCEP131DS
🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions
🎉 To see how all my clients have achieved massive success through dire & hopeless circumstances, click here! ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
How do I get your help?
I just have one question, i believe in a lot of what your saying, espically about how she feels emotionally with me, the baggage the trust issues, not living up to promises. Shes tried 1000 times. I pushed her away, but the question i have is. I pushed her into an emotional affair, and maybe im taking the wrong approach sometimes in the healing process/ reconcilation but now shes saying its not because of the wall, or our history, my issues, how shes tried so hard to get me to see, and i didnt listen and build that emotional safty, she says now its because of him. What approach am i suppose to take here. Maybe shes just coming from a place of hurt i dont know anymore. she says she doesnt want me to try, or be different, and that i cant be her safty, because he was that for her. I know im never giving upand immaking real changes. Is that all i can do, im lost on how to communicate with her. She sees it as to much, or trying to hard or im preeching. Do i just sit back and make mychanges? Worst yet is its a co worker. How do i handle this?
She invited me back in our bed last night after almost two months of sleeping in the guest bedroom. I’m putting in the work and she’s starting to see my internal shifts outwardly. I’m putting in work like I never have. I’ll be back in the guest room tonight as discussed, last night was a “test run”. The old me would have gotten upset that she hasn’t let me back in fully, but the new me sees and understands her internal struggles and is holding zero expectations to move back into our shared bed until she’s fully ready, but the fact that she wanted a “test run” is MASSIVE compared to where we were a month ago when I was staying at my dads. Put in the work guys, she will see it when she’s ready. Don’t forget to remember the small victories when things feel hopeless, don’t give up even if it seems easier. If I can do it, you can do it. Thank you Geoffrey. Without your guidance and watching these videos daily (sometimes more than once 😂) and really striving to make myself better, last night wouldn’t have happened. Thank you so much. To the other guys in my position, YOU GOT THIS!
This is so on the money. The catch 22 is why relationships fail. Because one person cannot be open and discuss openly. It's always the inability to overcome a problem that ends the relationship, not the problem itself
so true, I failed to communicate my feelings effectively and that ended up in a disaster...
You’re the reason why my old partner reached out to me. It gets better.
Can you tell us about your story , surely we will get some motivation.
Yo let’s hear it?
@@user-ho7mh1wb3z a year ago, I was separated due to my partner’s frustration with my commitment and trust, lack of responsibility, emotion disconnection, bad communication and emotion unintelligence, so she had every reason to do so, I wasn’t getting it for the past 7 months til she blocked me until I spent most of my time trying to figure out myself then I stumble across Geoffrey’s video and learn a lot from it. Even tho months went on we got along again but now I’m in the process of applying for the lifetime program to change my life around me in a greater good. Thanks to Jason Newman as well with all the email replies and advices now I’m definitely ready to move forward on this. I’m still in the works.
tell us the guys need help
Story please?
Men. Know your worth. Know that no one is better than you. Love someone and set them free.
Ugggghhh it rocked me to the CORE when you were talking about putting yourself in her shoes where even if you can express your unhappiness, your partner brushes it aside as a simple misunderstanding. I do that. I do. I'm not being malicious or machiavellian, i really do believe if i can just explain myself she'll see this isnt as big a deal as she thinks. Man...I gotta do better. Thank you for holding up that mirror.
How did it go?
@buellerferrisbueller3045 WELL she's a really mean person lol, but I still apply this to my other relationships and it's always helpful, good luck!
Thank you. I needed to hear exactly this right now. My girl and i are on the rocks and today I was going to talk to her and try to figure things out and hearing this right before is helping me with how to go about it and really needed to hear this. Thank you so much. Hopefully this will help me save my relationship and help me change to heal the love of my life
This is 100% the best video I have watched on youtube!
Greetings from Nicaragua! Wow, this is the best relationship coach I have found in YT! I was paying attention to other dating sites and making the mistake to use the NCR, something inside me was telling me that was not the right approach, I know I have an anxious attachment style that I need to work on, but going in the opposite direction of the spectrum is not the right thing to do, I hope this channel grows and many more people benefit from your expert advice.
This is incredible! Wow this is so helpful. I completely resonate with everything you’ve said
All of your videos are unbelievably helpful man. Thank you for the insight
I am so glad i found this i hope not too late ! Been working hard for all the stuff that have been wrong so this gives me a clear goal and understanding on what is the right thing to do ! :)
I have learned and understood more about relationships, my partner, and myself in just 3 of your videos than I've learned my whole life. I am so happy that I found you, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
wow geoff! thank you again for such ana amazing video! working on getting into the program but like all videos, this video is tremendous in my path of self betterment and to prove to myself that i can make changes for life!!
Awesome to hear! What were your most valuable takeaways from this video?
I just want to thank you for opening my eyes with my own relationship. I love her but i want the best for her so i will be as open minded as i can🙏🏻
everything is spot on, thank you
Good shit!! Harsh truths but wise
The falling striving breakdown was amazing. Tiring it back to sleep. I was literally today going to talk to her on our date about us and are we there…. But that would be striving. Thank you!!!
I'm extremely thankful that this was the first video I was recommended today! It was precisely what I needed to listen to! I find myself in the same scenario and your evaluation of what has probably occurred is absolutely accurate. It’s a difficult situation to be going through & it’s not all one sided. I certainly take responsibility my part. I ‘m definitely not perfect! Being a step parent to older teens add so much complexity to the dynamics of the relationship. It’s also difficult when the other person never takes responsibility for their own actions/ faults. Do as I say, not as I do? Thank you for your advice!!
We're launching a video in about 1 month on the topic of fixing one-sided relationships. We also currently have many interviews that center around this topic.
e.g. All of them began their journey in the program as the only one trying to fix the relationship, and with their leadership and reversing the feedback loop, all of them are amazed at how much their partner usually reciprocates.
Glad you enjoyed this one and found this to be valuable...
I can help you get your back, ask me how
I'm happy that you found this early enough to fix it.. I wasn't so fortunate.. its been 9 months and I did all the wrong things. Similar situation. Step dad to her 2 teenage kids we have 1 5 year old together so we still communicate and she wanted to communicate and stay friends, other coaches said do no contact..it was 7 months later when I found about no contact. When I did that it made her pull back from communicating and now we talk less but still talk. I'm not sure where she is mentally with me. I feel her feelings are less now than before. So I'm confused.
@@demigod5913how?
Your info is really good
So good as always ❤
What did you like most about this one?
these videos are helping me
Hello Geoff, thanks for doing what you do! I watched this video and it really resonated deep with me. I am in a particular situation. I feel I am going through a transformative moment in my life after a breakup and would appreciate your insights if you would allow me to tell you my story. Is there a way that I can reach you in more of a 1:1 setting? Then maybe you can tell me how you can help me, what programs you have, etc. I'd really appreciate your answer. Thank you!
You are honestly the best on RUclips with advice . Is there any way I can get a 1on1 with you ?
Lovefools stay hard 💪💪💪
The first time after watching 1000+ videos in RUclips the only one i didn't Skip any second of the video
And the most video have the key of our problems
This is one of the best theories I’ve heard about causes and solutions for a LTR to brake up but what you say in the min 19:50 is exactly the lack of skills that lead us to a break up, there fore you can’t encourage you ex to explore other relationships
Good stuff.
You are a wise man!
Thank you brother, I will take everything you said and I'll shoot my best shot at getting her back. I'm prepared for any outcome now, whatever happens. I will post an update after some time.
How did it go brother?
Good video
I listened to her for weeks and the one day I brought up the problem I had with the relationship she leaves. Great.
I get it! I really fucking get it!!! Thank you so much for the information.
Your videos are good and they help to have faith and to keep growing for ourselves. Do you believe anyone can change? Can a toxic relationship be healed?
You will never know how grateful I am for this. Thank you very much.
wow your explanation on falling outcome really hit me deep. its true. ive been trying to get back together with my partner of 9 years after 4 months breakup, the more i ask can we get back? can everything get back to normal? the more shes running away from me. but the moment i stopped asking and just hangout with without asking, the more she contacted me back. and today she said shes ready to give us one last chance. and i swear to never f it up. our issues is communication and my lack of attention to her. but these 4 months of getting her back, ive been present at all times. pray for me, she fall in love w me like before and more guys. and goodluck to all! 🎉
Praying for you brother❤️
What do you mean? Did you just whent to her house or?
We’re you guys still hanging out in the break? Did you just go about your life during the break until she contacted you? Or did you ask to hangout with out any questions?
I found your videos a little too late... I hope I still have time to reconcile with the woman I love.
So we have to be at our best when we are already at our worst? This is how I feel. Yes, there are some things I need to change. I’m humble enough to know that but there are also a lot of false accusations brought against me and then the few things that I do need to change are used to prove the false ones too. I’m exhausted I’ve also stepped out of the marriage while separated. So now she’s extremely convinced that she’s made the right choice.
Thanks man..been giving my wife space for a month. With occasional contact. Now we have a dinner date set. I think you know what you're talking about
I want to learn that she will never ever come back. I don't want her back. I want her to forget me, to move on! I even thought to fake my death. I keep on hearing the contrary of my need and desire. You being a expert , this should be do easy. Lets hear it.
This is great!!!
You are giving me so much hope I thank you
If people want to walk away from you, let them walk. Something breaks even if you do win them back
Wish i saw it just a couple days earlier. Hope it's not too late
Hi Everyone. Do you know if Geoffrey does one on one coaching?
Thanks god for showing me this, i was falling for these first date advices in a long term relationship and it made it so much more worse, thank You for this
I left my last relationship because of the catch-22, I didn't know how to properly express the feelings I was having and thought it would be better to end things. We were on and off for 2 years prior to this final chance my ex gave me. She told me she'd reach out sometime around valentines day but at the beginning of February I found out through my friends she's become facebook official with someone else. I have yet to talk to her and I'm really really hoping that she either reaches out or responds to me when I ask her if she can talk. I'm probably gonna watch this video a couple more times. It feels like I haven't given up hope entirely but I do genuinely love her and miss her and I figured out what I did wrong to cause those feelings of the catch-22. Wish me luck guys
I just broke up with my gf after a year and a bit together - all are mutual friends got involved and told her she rushed it and made a mistake - she is currently saying that there is no chance of us getting back to gether I’m afraid that r friends and I have pushed her further away by saying this to her it came out of the blue after a petty argument 3 days ago, we were completely fine and in a good spot which is what i thought like everyone else. What do I do?
How do you "plant the seed?" I hear from all your clients keep saying i just kept planting the seed everyday. What does that mean and how do i do it?
Does this apply to a relationship that was a year and 3 months?
Nah, I'm not offended by being told that. I'm just upset in general because I've never been good enough and they always leave for someone else. Yeah, it definitely is a me problem. Doesn't hurt any less. Thanks for the video Geoffrey.
well you need to start telling yourself you are good enough, because that internal self talk of you not being good enough will show
give yourself more credit and believe you are good enough
My wife hasn't left yet, but she has filed the divorce papers. I'm trying to work on myself as much as possible. I may be overdoing it and cramming my brain with loads of positive information.
It has been 3 weeks since the day she decided to leave me. Just today she actually said, "Yeah, you're getting better." Today I resisted a lot of her issues and she even threw a curve ball at me. I remained calm and peaceful. I guess I passed 1 test. lol. It's only going to get worse. From my understanding she needs to approach me to emotionally connect with her deepest emotional insecurities. Right now she does not trust me enough to share those with me.
Trying really hard to build back trust. I suppose I'm planting seed #2 right now. I have sort of planted seed #3. I have encouraged her and helped her file the divorce. I haven't encouraged her to leave and I especially haven't encouraged her to meet someone else. That will be extremely tough.
Any update? I have been planning with my wife (who cheated once then left me harshly) to file so we can agree on details. She knows the door is open to talk but said immediately she doesn't want to talk to me. We talked a lot about our issues for a few weeks, things were getting better with increasing resistance. She was emotionally safe enough to talk about stuff prior, now she needs space. She seems to resent herself a bit and regret how she has acted. All I have now is to keep working on myself.
@@tb87670 I discovered something about myself even though my wife has said it for 9 years, that I have a bad temper.
For some reason, everything bad I did my wife brought it up and I didn't really think much of it. I would always justify myself saying that I'm not as bad as most men.
Well that attitude led to the divorce I'm afraid.
As far as updates are concerned. I finally admitted that I have a bad temper. She said, "Finally, you realized that after 9 years!?"
Just yesterday I wrote her a message apologizing for not realizing everything I've done sooner. I even complemented her character. After assuming responsibility for my mistakes and complementing her her response this morning was the following: " I read your text last night. I have a hard time believing anything you just said. Actions speak louder than words." She also mentioned that I haven't ever valued her opinions and that I don't listen to her.
That's where I'm at right now. I'm working with friends and getting as much advice as possible. Biggest thing is making peace with whatever the outcome is. I'm struggling with that mindshift.
I am continuing to work on my temper. Most importantly, I am making goals so I can become the best version of myself possible.
Those are actions that my wife may or may not see. I can't force her and I can't tell her what changes I'm making otherwise she thinks I'm doing it to get her to come back.
Hope this helps. Good luck with your relationship.
Can I or should I ask her (separated wife) on dates during the Time phase or do I wait for her to come to me and ask
Hey Geoffrey - but is this the same if she says we are done and she has started to see someone she has known for years and says he does not judge me...... I can see the lack of safety in that statement, but the fact she has fallen for someone else she knows well why would she want to look at me? i get the "are you saying if you create the perfect environment...." bit but its been 10 months and she just seems colder and colder.
I am genuinely trying obv i must be failing but its not from unwillingness to put the work in. The fact there is someone else is making it feel she is not even looking at what i am doing.
please let me know what you think. Thanks,
What happened?
What do you do when they say not to contact them again ? Its been 3 and half months sonce the break up i feel misunderstood and also i made her feel misunderstood acted negative agressive after the break up she put me in a space where she came to collect things and her cousin try to start a fight with me a snap back didnt call her names but i know i show anger which i regret i feel like i want to fix her but she doesnt feel there anything to talk about and shuts down and now doesnt want to hear from me
Just want to point our your captions always say "why *she* leaves" 🙃
Just wanted to point out that it's not always her.
Otherwise ignoring this - bang on advice
Ok I have a question what does it mean when it feels like she’s trying to avoid topics that may hurt your feelings does it mean she’s trying to protect my feelings still because she still cares for me or them?
@GeoffreySetiawan, I am experiencing scenario #2
soo if im the dumpee, should i just wait til she contacts me first before implementing these?
Like, when should i create these "seeds" when she doesnt want me to text or call her after the break up?
Cause im currently just working on myself growth, and chillin, having no idea if i should contact her or not.
My wife moved out. So many unresolved issues and past events enter my mind all of the time. We work well with communication if it's about our son but that's the only topic that is ever communicated. She has no interest in talking to me personally.
Sometimes… stop trying to do things and just gotta let go
I been watching for a couple weeks and I keep fucking up. It's hard to change after being with someone for 25yrs. It's like I'm stuck in a repeat and can't change the channel.
This is why the internal shifts and identity shifting is a massive part of our curriculum.
Change is a mother fucker I know I'm the problem in the relationship 100% I've learned a lot from watching hours upon hours of ur video's. It's like anger and being piss off at the world does want me to change because it's grown such deep roots.
@@mickey7664696 Begin by watching my videos on emotional regulation & managing emotions. Understand the differences in approaches to managing emotions at the very least.
I have a couple times and it has helped when I talk to her a lot
I’ve been with my ex girlfriend for 8 years we’ve haven’t spoke in about 3 weeks. When is a good time to check / if it is a good time what do I say?
How to talk with you personally?
"About to fall asleep" watching this video.
What should I say when I slip up and appear needy to my wife? Case in point: I got up at 3 in the morning and my wife wasn’t in bed and I did what I normally did which was go to the window to see if she had left. She saw me doing this while she was getting cereal and got angry at me asking why I’m checking up on her due to the way I USED to be controlling. I calmly told her I wasn’t trying to control her but that I understood why that would piss her off due to what had happened in the past. Should I apologize more in those situations or I feel it might be better in this situation just to give her space bc words won’t mean as much as actions.
You should’ve said you weren’t checking up on her you were just worried something happened.
So I gave her space since I did some shit with my girl of 5 years. We saw each other after 2 weeks of not. Still she was dry and upset and I gave her what she wanted and we agreed on 1 month of no contact, is that the best thing to do or what should I have done?
I am now at almost 6 weeks since my wife had a one-time affair and left me. I have been getting better at the steps laid out above but know I need more practice. I had a few slips like displaying minor frustration on a day I was feeling terrible (sick that day). I am more untethered to either outcome, but is it tetheredness when any successful students join your program to save their relationship? Or is that an idea that it would be great if it happens, but stay outcome independent?
This is where my mind is, I am now improving myself and enjoying the process. I have dug down to water and have been working on my issues. Yet thinking "what if she came back" gives me some dread, like is she worth taking back if she won't work on her issues as well? She admits she did terrible stuff to me. Is this a healthy way to think Geoffrey?
If she cheated leave her bro love yourself as well. Anything you learn from this man at this point should be for self growth and future relationships
You know, many, many spouses have cheated on their partners and it remains unknown. This in itself may not be a reason to leave her, as if she actually had a bad experience she will come back and may in fact be more committed. It does not show any weakness to call her back, forgive her, and move on. If she comes back your relationship may be stronger after she sowed her wild oats.
has she shown you true remorse and regret for what she has done? I would suggest marriage counseling as today everyone is so quick to up and leave when things can be worked out
if she refuses to work together you have to let her have the freedom of leaving or making a true effort on being better
So how do we say go have another relationship and not do no contact at the same time
#3 can be done by no contact...let her go into the wilderness...she'll decide from there just work on self
What if they don’t want come back even after the change? Does it take time
So me and my ex been together 3 years high school relationship and she broke up with me because she said she lost love in 2 days and she said she wants to be single and she said I had a bad job I talked to her told her I can be better I can change for her and she say no she said I need time to heal should I do no contact would that be the best I told her I would be able to fix everything
And I am only 18 I am young she is to I told her I would do anything but she didn’t let me and I saw her In person and she talk to me and she told me that she was genuinely happy and she haves her little moments what should I do?
What do I do if she is saying she needs space to process how she feels?
Definition of Internal Shift: 12:37 thank you G
Most definitely! I enjoyed making this video for you guys!
I feel like the missing element of number 3 is encouraging her to take time away, but also tell her your boundaries, and that what she decides to do with the time away could come with consequences. If you feel strongly about her not dating other men, and are willing to set that boundary, you will come across as less needy because you’re telling her that you might not be there as the fallback option if she explores what is out there. If the situation was reversed, most women would be totally out on you if you went and dated other girls to see how you really felt.
Make your point
How can your partner see these shifts if you're separated?
Me and my wife have one kid we been together for 4 years but she say she is done and want nothing to do with me but I want to restore trust and get back with them what can I do or what should I do
Ive been watching dozens of this guys videos. These arent bullshit gimmicks, these arent stupid tactics to keep your partner. This guy is improving people with permanent lasting changes. Enter him into the wholesome triad of Mr. Rogers, steve irwin, and Bob ross and turn it into a quartet.
I'm not even trying to save my marriage anymore through these videos. I'm trying to make myself a better man. If my marriage is saved as a result then yay. Otherwise still yay. Thanks Geoffrey.
same here my wife wants to leave me because of a Catch-22 my son 17 from a previous relationship lives with us is becoming very violent. My wife has given me the options him or me, but I am legally responsible for my son so I can't really make him move, the only thing I can do is trying help him solve his anger issues, but this will be the cost of my marriage
How long is considered to be a long relationship or at least short one?
I think a long relationship is like 10+ years
@@EggmayorI say at least two
If she isn’t really leaving you, but all the sudden wants to be out with her friends more or away from you more, without leaving…is that really the same as “wanting their space” even if they don’t say that phrase?
it’s either she lost interest or she wants more space
Hi can this apply to a same sex marriage? We are both men. Thank you for your amazing videos!
How much?
I am in a bad situation. My wife has blocked me everywhere, we are separated from past 3 months and she is living in another country (parent’s home) now. She’s not ready to talk, her parents are not ready to talk. What should I do? My wife is asking for divorce.
[Please Geoff]
I split up with my girlfriend of 3.5 years just a week ago (or she split up with me, should I say.
Reason being I haven’t been the most attentive and in many many cases I took my anger out on her.
It’s important to add that my dad passed just 4 weeks prior to me and her making it official. And in that time (3.5 years) she poured her heart and soul into making me a better me, but I neglected her.
She broke up with me and to say I am distraught is an understatement.
She wants space, and I am trying to respect it, but I am also dying to message her.
How do I re-establish this contact, or do I simply allow the process to take its course and hope and pray she initiates the contact with me. (Trying to get my mindset right for the long term)
Thanks Geoff!
It will take you at least 6 months to change
Keep watching my videos - Your internals are clearly very shaky, and if you need to ask "How do I re-establish contact", then your frameworks are shaky, at best.
And like I always say --
The BIGGEST shame is not having no contact...
The BIGGEST shame is manufacturing contact when you have nothing to show in terms of changes...
So keep watching my videos, and help yourself by learning to help yourself. :)
@@GeoffreySetiawanBeen on a very big binge of the videos. And attended the masterclass last night. And I’m going to watch them (ur videos) regularly to let things sink in and settle in.
Thank you for replying.
My story is similar. She tried to uplift me out of a bad funk for a while, then following a few family tragedies she cheated then left me quite suddenly.
Right now she needs space, this is the hard part. She claims to have nightmares of us talking about our issues. She notices improvements but doesn't trust it yet, plus obviously needs time and space. This is a hard thing to do.
@@tb87670 I’m sorry to hear that mate.
But I can agree entirely that giving space is quite tough. It’s been strange for me too, because we went cold turkey after speaking every day for like 3.5 years.
But I’ve taken Geoff’s advice and I’m doing self improvements whilst allowing her to take time.
Hoping that it works out. And I hope that your side works too. 🫶
Hey please here me out. I'm in a secret long term relationship with my 2nd cousin. She's 16 and i'm 22, my father and mother okay with it. But i don't think her mom would be okay if she finds out. What can i do???
What's the time frame? My wife's been gone for almost 6 months now. Has her own place right down the road from me.
Look at it this way, if you are expecting a timeline it’s not going to happen that you’re getting back together. Expect to be broken up and done forever. That is the only way they’ll come back
Bro can i talk with uu im in the same situation also i am an over thinker 😢
My ex-wife wanted to get back together, and we've been trying to see if we can make it work. However, she's still communicating with a man that she agreed to go on a date w/ shortly after we broke up.
I've tried to have a conversation with her about committing to us, and she's said that she will continue to talk to him & doesn't see an issue with it as she has set the boundaries. She's said that me having serious conversations with her is pushing her away, but I'm also uncomfortable with the situation I find myself in now. What should I do?
Tough one. Been in that boat. You need to play her game I think. Its painful I know!
That she told you "you are pushing me away having these conversations" sounds manipulative, ngl if the dude is some kind of old partner or interest and she is not willing to cut him off, let her go
I’m telling you man, it’s not worth just leave. Close that door fully
@@jtnguyen8105 With you there. OP will be amazed how quickly you can get over her. Go through the processes and you will come out feeling great. I have been there and done it, looking forward and don't even think about her anymore.
Welp, she dumped me by freely laying out the issues she had but was opposed to any solutions or discussions because those were hard and required her to confront her family. I think she already felt safe enough with me to unload but she wasn’t comfortable enough to tell her parents she was in love me.
Coach I really got to ask you this because I see this a lot in your vids: what if she comes back and she lets the floodgates open... And the way she expresses that is by extreme disrespect and even with physicality?!
I'll just say this - If you believe your partner is such a bad person that even though you gave her the PERFECT ENVIRONMENT and every reason possible to behave well, that she still acts like a narcissist...
Then you need to get out of that relationship, but both people's sake.
But the irony in that is this - would you personally feel safe with someone who thinks that lowly of you? So have you REALLY created the perfect environment?
And if you admit that you have not created the perfect environment, why not learn to?
I can tell you, thousands of my clients have learned the right ways to create the 5 pillars, and they are always amazed as to how much their partner changes too, and realize how much more potential their partner actually had.
And you cannot just say "I tried that" - are you sure you tried it with the right HOW and WHY?
You can't just go to the gym, do it all wrong, and say "Tried that - doesn't work!" :)
In the video, all the steps for creating safety assume you screwed up somehow. How do you establish safety when you havent screwed up (or at least you don't know how do you screwed up if you have)?. My girl seems to still love me, but we are distancing ever more every day, and she says is not my fault. I think we lack enough safety to properly communicate, but I can't create safety with the steps described here because I can't see the "bad seeds", and she will not tell me either. Its a catch 22 in the catch 22.
In the same situation and looking for the same answers.
My wife committed adultery, and she doesn’t like who I am inherently as an extrovert. I really can’t think of how the marriage can continue.
Me and my gf of 17 years have separated we have a 8 year old daughter she want talk to me at all what do I do
Do you believe this is the same for a dismissive avoidant? They sabotage the relationship, close down, push you away, won't communicate, will not see self fault and then they leave you.
Well, yes I believe this works regardless of situation or what you label your partner. I guess the problem (paradox) with your question is that you are blaming character of your partner as to why you can't create safety. Whereas, your partner doesn't feel safe, which is why they are shutting down... Creating a negative loop... Do you see the problem here? If you label the character of your partner as the problem, then you have no power to create safety in the first place... what do you think?
@Alex-yu1bh I label her as I label myself as an AP. We are what we are, and we shouldn't hide from that.
@@droflivelife fair point, it sounds like you aren't trying to hide from reality, also sounds like labeling helps you understand your situation better? Am I understanding correctly?
@Alex-yu1bh it's just being honest with ourselves. But I find APs are OK with identifying and helping themselves. APs are mainly watching these videos to try save a relationship but DAs unfortunately don't do the same work most times and you can not ask them to either as they reluctant to see their side of the issue.
@@droflivelife that is an interesting perspective to hear! I appreciate you sharing
Im in so much pain after the love of my life left me months ago I honestly dont see how i could ever live without her. She left me after the small mistake of me cheating 3 times. I begged and begged for forgiveness promising her i wouldnt do it again and i honestly meant that. My heart has been hurting so much ever since she left. Ive been doing everything i could to get her but everytime i attempt to text or call her she blocks me. Nothing works anymore and honestly the pills arent quite numbing the pain how they used to . Please give me advice to get her back i miss her so much
"The small mistake of me cheating 3 times" Why you want her back? Its clear you didnt appreciate what you had
I think the initial thing is it just hurts man.
intrigued by your perspective but wondering when it’s just too late. 4 months separated, divorce pending. any reconciliation stories after divorce?
They can happen. The only way she'd ever consider coming back is if you change for yourself and become the best person you can possibly be. If she some how agrees to see you again, just be you and she may see those changes. Just don't tell her you've changed. She has to see it in your actions.
@@Bob-fh3yk are you in the program?
@@user-xv6vi7hq4u no. There's a plethora of knowledge on the Internet. If you're self disciplined enough, you can make the changes necessary in yourself.
The Internet also has all the real ways to win her back.
the internet does? where?
I have many. However, the mindset of those clients and their questions was not can I reconcile? They asked how can I change in a big way and how can I make it permanent?
#3 literally says no contact but u discouraged no contact at start of video