Father Knows: Fishy Feelings || Father Knows Something Podcast
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- Опубликовано: 28 июл 2024
- Welcome back to Father Knows Something! Real People. Real Stories. Real Dad advice with a dash of ADHD, and maybe a couple of millennials chiming in from time to time to add their takes.
This weeks episode has Jerry, Justin, and Morgan talking about write-ins involving situations that feel off or a bit "fishy." Sometimes you know when somethings not right with your partner and others you get concrete evidence like their Tinder profile. Have you dealt with anything similar to these write-ins? What advice would you give these listeners?
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Index:
00:00 -- Start
6:16 -- Story 1
17:52 -- Story 2
32:59 -- Story 3
44:42 -- Story 4
Thank you Emilie for time stamps :)
I'm one week out from finding out my boyfriend was cheating over snapchat. If your partner talks to people via an app that automatically purges their conversations, it's a red flag, yall.
Had a "bestie" that loved to message my partner over snapchat..despite also having his number if she needed to message him. She had the audacity to call me insecure because I set a boundary that I was not comfortable with them talking over snapchat because wtf. Just use text message. Her and I haven't been friends in over a year now; hardest but best decision I've made.
it happened to me 6 months ago. the guy in my profile picture LMFAO idk how to change it. it was his coworker and we were together for 4 years. it sucked
@@laurenbader1566 i think you can change it by getting into your google account through a computer and changing the profile picture of your google account!
@@laurenbader1566 it’s always a coworker fr
@@bxckspxce2715 and you're still with him? While he had secret conversations with your friend? That's weird 😅
Jerry really opened my eyes with “ once you start keeping score the game is over” I realized my partner and I have been in a vindictive/spiteful mentality towards one another lately. It’s definitely not love anymore :( time to let go and move on elegantly as jerry would want me to🥹👍
Taylor swift has a lyric about this too!!!
"no more keeping score, now i just keep you warm. No more tug of war, I just know theres more"
I dont know you, but I’m proud of you for recognizing what’s best for yourself. Not a lot of people can do that, and i wish you the best on your healing from this!
@@toolo4599 thank you that made me cry lol best wishes for you as well🫶
Listening to the 1st story, obviously the messaging a girl and clearing chat history are so sus, and his lack of attention towards his partner is bad, too. But girl, he put a HOLE through the wall when he got angry. Even ignoring everything else, that's a warning.
Exactly! I was waiting for them to comment on the hole in the wall and was surprised they skipped by it! That's a more severe red flag than the cheating, honestly. Being cheated on, you can get over, being abused though, that's a totally different story...
And I feel like that age gap was REALLY sus from the get go
That was definitely the most important information, and ended up not even discussed... They probably just just didn't catch it on the spot.
Seems like he was angry that he got caught
That boyfriend being secretive on Snapchat.. dump him. He punched a hole in the wall. Any kind of violence for being called out on his bullshit behaviour is an immediate HUGE RED FLAG and should be considered as something that has the potential to escalate. No thanks.
THISSSS plus the age gap is super sus.
Story 1- girl RUN. From the start, it is not a good fit and it’s not balanced. I agree w Morgan, my buzzer is going off. He’s 2 yrs out from still being a teenager, she’s almost 30. End it. No one is getting anything positive from the relationship
Story 2: This would absolutely change my relationship with my father. This isn't about his love life, it's about how he treat's other people. He lacks basic respect for a person that he's been in a relationship with for 10 years!!
I love Jerry's statement about just ending a relationship before you hate each other. I have left before that happened and I have stayed until that happened and I completely agree that it's best to get out of a relationship before it gets to the point of complete resentment particularly when it's a long term relationship. Don't wait till it gets that far because it just makes it so much harder and hurtful.
@@kassandrarogers4286 That's tough. I don't have children so I can't speak from experience there but I do have parents who have a fairly toxic relationship. I would almost think it's even more important to leave before you hate your partner because if you wait till you resent each other the children are going to see that and feel that and it will just make coparenting that much harder.
@@kassandrarogers4286 I don’t mean to over step here, but the fact you do have kids should make you want to leave so they can experience a cordial relation between their parents. And not grow up seeing you guys in a toxic relationship assuming that’s how all relationships are. I understand how you would want your kids to experience having both parents but it might not be the best example for the way they perceive relationships
You’re an amazing mom regardless of the decision you make :) both are very selfless decision that requires a strong person
6:16 write in 1
17:52 write in 2
32:59 write in 3
44:42 write in 4
Love all the positive dad vibes❤️
Omg thank you! I hope all good things happen for you in life! 😅
For the last story- I think you need to go to individual therapy for yourself before you even think about couples therapy. There is a reason on why you have a pattern of cheating so much and that has been with multiple partners. It’s safe to probably say it’s not your relationship/partner, it’s you. Go to therapy and find out why you end up always cheating and start to heal and fix that inside yourself. I don’t think it would be fair to your SO to continue the relationship without focusing on yourself first.
Hi guys, I just want to say thank you so much for FKS and THT. Your episodes have gotten me through my fathers passing last month, and though I’m still grieving from losing him so young, you guys sure do help so much- I don’t even know how to put it into words.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart. 💜💜💜💜💜
Sorry for your loss love, I hope you know your father will always be with you in your heart. I pray you have a long beautiful life, your dad will be so proud of all the things you accomplish! 💓🙏🏼
I'm sending you all the love
prayers for you and your fam 🙏🏻🤍
So sorry for your loss
I alway say, listen to your inner head as I believe the other side talks to us.. we just need to listen
I found out my previous partner cheated on me FIVE years prior to telling me, it completely made me feel like the last chunk of time was a lie and I unfortunately took some of that mistrust trauma into my next relationship (luckily hes always been very understanding and patient, I now trust him with my everything)
Morgan, your editing style is one of my top tier favs. I love where you choose to zoom and jump cut.... I love all of it. It keeps my attention locked in and keeps me interested the entire way through the pod. Even your sponsor segments are awesome. You were made to do this type of career. My husband and I love you guys! So proud to be an OG sub. XO
Justin taught me well :) we both edit these eps
@@TwoHotTakes Right on! You two are so amazing as a couple. Power couple for sure. Thanks so much for the reply. Take care!
Morgan playing with the stuffed panda is just too adorable.
Wow story two hit home. It was a very hard lesson to learn that who my father is as a father is not who he is as a partner. Sometimes compartmentalization is necessary to save that father daughter relationship.
This is two weeks in a row that the podcast has made me cry at work. First with Morgan last week and now that comment about the cancer patient. It’s heartbreaking.
Also I feel better about myself. I brought my girlfriend breakfast and coffee to my girlfriends work on Valentine’s Day since we couldn’t celebrate full since we had class (don’t worry: I got a card, chocolates, cow slippers and a cow squishmillow. She loves cows and she didn’t want flowers and/or scented stuff)
As someone who was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in 2020 it's impossible to explain how deeply bone-tired your body and mind can get. I've experienced some exhausting things in my life including giving birth, but cancer is on a whole other level. The advice given was phenomenal, kind, and in my opinion perfect. Education, talking to professionals (psych, oncology doctors and nurses, and other specialists), and being understanding is important for not just the person with cancer but their loved ones also. Seeing how much of a mental, emotional, and even physical drain your illness is on your loved ones can truly hurt, but seeing that their love for you is so strong that they'll push through all of that stress to support you in every way they can means the world.
The first one hit home. Guess what? Had a kid with him. Now we have a no contact order because he decided that putting his hands on me was the best decision instead of either loving me or leaving.
My sister once told me , someone could be an amazing friend and a horrible husband or an amazing mother but a horrible human , you can change the scenario but point is , there are a lot of sides to one person and you can't control how someone you love treats others . This is just a general view to take into consideration when seeing things and hearing stories like theses
Story #2. Morgan, I love the way you explain that it’s true. Your dad is not just your dad. He is a different person to everyone has a different relationship and once you get older, you realize that your relationship with your dad as a dad is different than he is as someone’s brother or someone’s partner, and I had to learn that. Of course, your father is the first example of a relationship, and what it should look like however, once you grow up, you realize that you can compartmentalize and you are able to just focus on their relationship and build those boundaries like you said. LOVE IT LOVE IT! Obviously, there’s different exceptions in my opinion like if he was abusive ect but that’s a rabbit hole and it wasn’t the case here.
Jerry’s glasses during the tinder story 🤣 flying nun vibes
When Justin said "take back those things" that resonated with me. When you're going through a breakup (me with friends right now) it's hard to keep doing the things that you enjoyed doing with them. I appreciate your words on this topic.
@30:17 Morgen said it "have an adult relationship with your dad" My father used me at the age of 4 to help cheat on my mom, a 9 year marriage. Then again at the age of 13 he lied to me so that I would "be his cover" to un knowingly lie to my step mom when he AGAIN cheated in the Ukraine this time. This father of mine did other things to lose my respect but the cheating alone, as his only child and daughter, has ruined us. To this day I cant talk to him unless a therapist is involved. I'm reminded of that EVERY time I pick up his calls even when he seems like he's trying to be a good dad he finds a way to be an ass. For reference I'm 26 now. Talk to my mom 1-10 times a week where as I'll go 1-9 months without talking or texting my dad.
47:40 morgan playing with the pandas feet😂 i love it! thank you guys for another amazing episode!!❤️
My best friend has been in a new relationship for 3 years, she broke up with her very long time relationship like 6 years ago. This January me and her went parasailing and it was an amazing experience, when we were in the air she told me happily how the only time she went parasailing before was with her ex boyfriend and that now when she thinks of parasailing the memories will be doing it with me and that it “fixed it” by being with someone she loves.
Just in time to keep me entertained while I work from home! Always awaiting the next uploads from FKS and THT
What do you do for a work from home.job??
@@Boymom2839 Call center for a insurance company
I LOVE Jerry’s glasses 🤓😂 never seen glasses like that before lol
Loving your dad and respecting your dad are two different things and it took me a long time to learn that. I felt really guilty about loving someone who I have no respect for and it's an unfortunate position to be in. Navigating relationships based on how a person treats others rather than just yourself is important but it doesn't have to mean that you give up on someone. As long as you draw your boundaries and speak your truth gracefully, you can create an authentic relationship without sacrificing your own morality.
Not me singing No Role Modelz when they said fool me once😂
SAME
My husband proposed in Banff while we were on a cross country motorcycle trip to Sturgis 😊 Morgan is right…it is MAGICAL. Truly if you ever have the chance, run there. Morraine Lake is where we got engaged, literally was so beautiful it brought tears to our eyes. It doesn’t even look real in person!
Yay! Just in time for my morning coffee & I get to watch an episode from (Father Knows Something) with Morgan & Justin! Sweet! I needed this more than y'all know. ❤️ thank you all 😊
Yesssss!!!!!! Another week of getting the episode right when it drops! Needed this so bad.
Another great episode!! I love listening to these while i work 💚
Love you Jerry, Justin and Morgan & Holly !!!
Jerry, love your takes. I just wanted to say something about you calling a minor “jailbait.” Using that term is not only derogatory of minors, but places blame onto the child for “baiting” the adult into committing crimes worthy of a jail cell. Hope that makes sense, thanks for reading! 10:40
Thank you for correcting me. I do recognize the reason for the correction . Jerry/Dad
@@jerrysiegel3354 thank you for hearing me! i know you meant no harm
Words don't matter if the actions don't align with what the person is saying.
Love this podcast as well!!
Favorite part of my week ☺️ hoping to hear my story soon because I’m in need of advice
Why are you still accepting better help :/ in the terms it literally says they don’t have to be qualified
Right? I’m shocked to hear the sponsor in so many episodes
To be fair they may have a contract w/ bh that lasts a certain amount of time. If that’s the case I hope they do not renew it!
I looked up and burst out laughing in shock because I wasn't sure what I was looking at on Jerry's face XDD love how your glasses open like that! SO cool!
Such a good episode!
It is possible to have a relationship with your father,even if it requires a red line where you want no contact with his relationship partners. My father was a serial cheater and late in life he left my mom for his middle school crush. My parents maintained a respectful coparenting, co familying while my dad’s mistress lived with him about an hour away. We still had lunch once every couple of weeks, until he died suddenly. I was furious with him for his romantic relationship, but now that he’s gone, I wish I’d tried to get past that anger. He died with our relationship unresolved, and it haunts me to this day, nine years after his death. If you don’t want to have regrets, set boundaries with him, but maintain the kind of relationship with him that you can live with once he’s gone.
Mickey Atkins actually did a video about better help and she talked about how some people actually had traumatic experiences because of it. You should definitely check it out❤
Your dad is a W dad. I love his advice.
morgan holding her emotional support panda is a mood
The 1st story gives me the ick like she “groomed” him when he was 17. And it’s just inappropriate to begin with. Now he’s acting weird because he’s trying to experience life that you got to experience and he wasn’t even out of high school for long before he was together. Now he put a hole through the wall because he’s immature because he didn’t the opportunity to grow and understand his own issues. The relationship should be DONEEEEEEA
I have been a listener to both THT and FKS for a while a Love the Shows and Story#4 Really struck a Chord with me and I had to make a comment.
I cheated on my partner, took responsibility and earned my partners trust back. I felt for the writer in the story and wanted to say that being in your position and fearing for losing my best friend and also just wanting them to be happy. If they decide to stay they accept that you both will have to work through feelings of trust and sometimes anger or frustration, but with communication and honesty from both sides you can have an even stronger relationship than before. Couples Counseling is Fantastic and each having your own therapist can help work through the feelings of guilt, shame, self hatred, depression this can cause. I've been there and its not work because you love the other person its like Jerry said be their best friend. Me and My Partner are happier now than we have ever been and I plan to keep it that way on my end at least I can't Imagine a Life without them. I hope everything works out for bot of you if you read this.
Thank you so much for sharing!! ❤ you said it all so well.
Are we just going to gloss over the wall punch in the first story?
Story #2. I think it's important to get into the mindset that a child shouldn't be the one to make their parents proud. Even though it sounds right, it isn't that child's job. It's the parent that should be making their children proud of them.
ik this was mine months ago but my advice for the person in the last story and anyone going through the same is to really evaluate yourself. why did you do the thing you do? what caused it? is there anything that could get you to do it again, and when you talk to your partner tell them these things but also take the responsibility for your actions
Love the movie Michael literally one of my all time favorites
If you get life insurance, get a whole life not a term. After so many years you lose the termed insurance but with whole life after so many years you stop paying but you keep the insurance for life. Much better.
Not the Better Help plug 😞 Morgan... Really?
You can pull snap chat history from the website
My ex repeatedly talked to other girls on Snapchat and lied but his stupid ass didn’t delete the saved messages. If he’s deleting the messages, that’s the smart thing to do and it’s going to be a no from me
I think some people, especially those with neurodivergence find it extremely difficult to near impossible to be able to cope with others crossing what their personal evaluation of moral is, unfortunately it truly can give the ick and make it self sacrificing to continue to keep those kinds of people in their life no matter what their position is :/
9:13 HE HIT THE WALL!!! Leave NOW!
HAPPY PURIM!!!!! 🎉
Thank you, get your Grager and make noise
@@jerrysiegel3354 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉😂
Need new tht episodes
Gerber, or term life insurance in general, is generally considered a poor option for children who are not chronically ill (and you'll have issues getting it if your child is ill) you'll pay all that money just for your child to outlive the policy and get no return. I've learned life insurance on children is a poor decision and you're better off putting the money you'd spend on life insurance in a high interest savings to cover any final costs
I stopped talking to my dad after he left our family for his mistress. Him being a bad person over powered any respect I had for him.
I wish I would’ve written into something cause I have a story I’d love to have y’all’s take on whether it could be constituted as cheating or not or justified cheating (I know you think know cheating is justified, I used to think so too but when @buse & SA come into play & you’re desperate to get money to leave then maybe imo)
From the first story I was like dang they kinda tearing into op then they explained the age gap & I was like 👀. Side eye bc when I was 17 I was entering college and would’ve graduated by 20/21 years old & op is 22? I’m 21 rn and I have nothing in common with a 17 year old and all my little cousins are around that age so I see how these current kids act. No chance in hell I’m dating someone even 19 & below.
Also, as a sister of a marine brother who’s currently overseas, leave them military men alone if you can🙂.
I think a cheater who has a partner that stays, worst fear is not their partner finding out l. It’s the consequences that come after. & it’s not the consequence of their partner just leaving, but the consequence of broken trust. That op was contemplating making decisions for her partner not bc she’s considerate of how he feels but bc the guilt is eating her up & she doesn’t trust herself because of her own track record. She definitely worded her write in as a mature person taking accountability for her actions, but the reality is that she’s already been contemplating breaking it off with him bc she can’t come to terms with her past actions that she knows hurt him. It’s guilt disguised as accountability bc she doesn’t really believe that over the years she became a better person.
Smashing the phone is abuse big red flag run girl please for your safety
I hope you’re ok Morgan, you seem sad 😢
56:05 Ok i want to know about Jerry cheating.
I will say Snapchat deletes every 24 hours but he didn't let you see 🥴
Father knows somethings up?
I’ve heard really bad things about better help: not real therapists, barely any help, etc- I wish people would stop promoting it
To story number 4:
I can appreciate trying to not be harsh to the person who wrote in but I'm baffled by their write in,
I felt it was a bit manipulative, "oh poor me he guilt has eaten me"... haven't you learnt from the past? Or do you just cheat and hope people will forgive you because you feel bad after cheating? 😮
Time to face the consequences of your actions, having 2 years of no cheating doesn't take away from the fact you cheated full stop and doesn't justify cheating in the first place and yes you told your partner eventually but you still fkin cheated in the first place after having a history of cheating in previous relationships..
I really hope you manage to work things out and I hope you learn & grow from this, if not, please stop trying to be in relationships when you can't remain faithful. Like 'you' feel bad.. Yeah your partners must of felt fan-fucking-tastic🤦🏼♀️
Get therapy & stop justifying cheating with "but I felt super bad afterwards"
Jeeeeeeez, sorry to father knows something crew because I love how lovely you all remained throughout this one but honestly the second that story ended I literally out loud went "fuck off" because I was like is this B for fucking real 🤣🤣❤️
PLEASE stop supporting better health. They have caused harm to so many people
First father knows best watch already loving it 🎉😂