For the guy who is struggling with mental health issues and it's impacting the relationship. I would say set a time frame and stick to it. Give him the heads up of this time frame and expectations you want to see, and if by then those changes have not been met to your liking it may be time to leave. You can grow apart and grow back together but if he isn't willing to make those changes don't hold yourself back for someone else's potential. There may be things you like about this person but like they said, if you aren't willing to put up with that behavior the rest of your life and want/need change to be happy. Then it's best to leave.
I 100% agree. As an empathetic person myself- to a fault- I still say you need to protect yourself FIRST. Love yourself first. And if you truly love someone you want them to do the same. I know it’s hard because you don’t want to feel like you’re kicking him when he’s down- but nothing will change if you keep stringing things along. I say this from personal experience. I was with a guy for 10 years that I met when I was 18, and quite literally wasted most of my 20s being with him because I fell in love with the idea of us having a beautiful life and romance. Never really happened. Sure we had moments but not what I truly wanted. I really did love him, but it was extremely toxic and we both ended up addicted to drugs with no money, losing friends, losing jobs etc. and I don’t blame him entirely either. I allowed myself to love my life according to his decisions and thoughts (which were not great), and I didn’t choose ME. I’m not saying they are the same person (your bf and my ex), but I want you to truly evaluate the life YOU want to live. He needs help, and you really should have some sort of time evaluating conversation. Mental illnesses are very real, but they are not excuses for living a life that isn’t fulfilling. Hoping the best for you and your boyfriend darling 🫶🏼 BE BRAVE.
100% OP needs to look up codependency. Some of what she said is describing that, and while it typically affects someone taking care of someone with an addiction, it can also happen with someone caring for another who is constantly reckless or just doesn't care for themselves even though they have the ability to do so. This guy is in such a place that he can't hold down a job or care for himself. By constantly caring for him and making excuses for him, she is preventing him from facing the negative consequences of his actions (the main desire of someone who is codependent). You see the potential and know they can do better, but by constantly caring for them, you lose yourself in the process. She said she doesn't want to break up, but I do not see this getting any better if she doesn't. Breaking up is the only way, and even with that, you can't be involved in his life at all so he can focus on healing himself. He needs to be forced to be on his own, so he can take initiative for himself. They don't get better until you leave because you are enabling their behavior. It sucks, but that is the hard truth of it.
Story 1, your brother ruined the family. You are right to call him on it at least financially. I am sure he did it with confidence that you would let it go.
Whoever wrote the last story- you are an incredible writer and you made me cry with the comment about a different morning voice. You should possibly write to your mom to express that. Honestly everything you said in this write-in might help her to understand. It’s totally understandable that you would want to read that, especially being the age you are now. It’s so natural to want to understand someone’s thoughts and mind. I hope she is understanding ❤️ She may be protecting you from it because it could possibly be hurtful. But you are an adult and you seem very understanding of how that headspace can fog our logic. I’m sure he loved you and I also am certain your mom feels she’s protecting you from something ❤️
1st story, Ugh non-compete is letting him off too easy! Hopefully she already had a non-compete from the start and can also take him to court, he did that to himself.
They also have way too much faith in our "justice system" if they think he's doing any time for that situation. She should make him sign a lifetime non-compete and it's up to her if she wants to keep a relationship with her brother.
Last one had me crying. It's the exact situation my poor daughter had to deal with when she's older. But for now, she is 5, and has her innocence as he was too mentally ill to be around since her birth. My heart is broken. I cannot tell you how many times I think of how or when I should tell her. I want her world to be innocent as long as it can
You guys are wonderful people, I hope each of you know that. You guys have no idea how many people you help on a daily, weekly, monthly, yearly basis. Not to say any of you are perfect, but you are all good and caring people with good heads on your shoulders. Thank you for being there for all of us.
Story 1: Also confront your family and have them explain just how they think it’s ok to steal from your family. How they can think it’s ok to take $100,000 away from you and your family? Have them explain just how they think it’s ok to be a thief to your own family and the thief never has to own up to their choices and consequences? This is not ok and this needs to be dealt with legally.
I agree. The only thing I think we didn’t dive deep enough into is just how stressful and life-changing it can be to break up a close family. He has committed the crime that started all this, but now it feels like she’s in an impossible position with the family telling her to “let it go.” Bc even though this is ALL her brother’s fault, in the family’s eyes it’s HER who is making the ultimate decision to either let it go, or cause a divide in the family. On top of it she has a new baby niece or nephew who I’m sure she wants a close relationship with. It seems like the obvious answer that he’s a criminal and needs to either pay back, Lose his job or be brought to justice.. but it’s so hard to make those moves when you know it’ll damage the most important relationships in your life. So back to your comment that she needs to find a way to get the parents/family to understand the seriousness and reality of this. I would start there. Show them the statements/receipts and have a sit down talk at how you can’t believe it either, but it is in fact.. the truth.
I agree with Halle with not always having to be loyal to a company. We're no longer in the times where you could stay with a company for years get a pension and retire. If you're not happy at a job then you have to keep moving on and find one where you feel you can contribute and gain skills!
the butterfly effect and the car project ones got me. my first week of eighth grade, i decided at the last minute to visit my grandparents with my mom instead of goofing off at home. my grandmother had been battling cancer and passed later that week, and i was the last grandchild to see her alive. i'm so glad that i made that decision. as for the cars, my dad has two that don't run. one became run-down in the 90s and the other while i was in high school in the late 2010s. they're my dad's "retirement projects" and my mom calls them what they really are, "money pits". he feels entitled as the former breadwinner to sink his savings into these projects while my mom actually manages the money to get my sister and i through college and grad school. boy do i dream of the day when those cars finally get sold...
Time stamps! Story 1 Stolen Money 4:12 Story 2 Car Inheritance 18:01 Story 3 Boyfriend’s Mental Health 31:05 Story 4 Family Boundary 45:39 Story 5 Tw: Suicide and mental illness 55:56
With the story about job hopping, I'd also point out that his depression and morbid thoughts aren't just worrying her but it's hurting her mental health too. I'd be scared of both of them falling into depression and then feeding off each other and escalating the thoughts/habits
That’s unfortunately a big reality with mental illness, and I say this as someone with a ten year diagnosis of MDD. It seriously affects your loved ones when it’s not in check. I’ve traumatized my parents and the guilt is major.
❤ yay this upload made my entire morning! I freaking love you guys so much and have taken so so much from all of you on every episode. So thank you for this podcast as well as THT because they both get me through my days and nights ❤
WOW that last one was visceral. "I'd never know what his hands felt like. I'd never know the difference between his morning voice and his truly awake voice." Etc... That really got me.
Ugh! I didn't even want to say it, but I'm glad Morgan did. OP needs to prepare themselves for the absolute worst so that anything else is better than that, AND he'll be prepared to handle it if it does come to fruition. I really hope he was able to talk with his mother about that, specifically. Maybe she can help prepare him. Wishing them the best result possible.
I am so so happy my mom didn’t have Facebook when I was kid. Just like Morgan my mom shares everything on Facebook and in group chats with family members to the point that it’s stopped me from telling her things and I have all my Facebook posts set so she can’t see them. I love her but I’m a rather private person and I can’t imagine her sharing EVERY little thing that I did with pictures while growing up with everyone she knows. These poor kids being raised now will have such a lack of privacy.
For the parents who live in another country and re having a baby. Another possible option, depending on your concern, is a digital picture frame. They dont have the access to the digital copy of the photos.
Lmao! I envy Morgan. 😂😂 hi Michelle I had a Father as half as good as you!😢 you know what though, from what I learned from my dad, is not what I wanted for my kids. I knew what to watch out for. My husband is a great father. The things my dad wouldn’t do for me and my brothers, my husband jumps up to help me with. It does make me sad, till this day, I don’t have a good relationship with my dad.
For story 1: My dad had a very similar problem with his brother. Looong story short he stole a lot of money from a lot of people, including my dad, who are all in same line of work with him, and ran away. It caused my dad to lose his job since his company thought other people my uncle stole from would try to take their money from my dad since it was known they were brothers. Yet, my grandma still insisted that my father should forgive his "little brother". She didn't even ask how he was handling loss of his job, considering he is paying for my college and loss of money becuase bc of "her baby" in the middle of an ECONOMIC CRISIS. It didn't click in my dad's head that he was being used until I basically argued with him about it. He is now suing my uncle now along with 26 other people, so just take what is yours and don't let someone just get away with something so life altering just because they're related to you. also the parents should blame the brother for ruining the family dinamic what the actual fuck
Are you guys ever going to do your podcast down the rabbit hole again? I’m mainly a RUclips listener but recently found that podcast on Spotify and got obsessed!!
I wonder if the mom in the last story isn't protecting the writer, she's protecting herself. Mark said something bad about the mom and she doesn't want writer to blame her for Mark unaliving himself
damn the whole dad committing suicide thing is so close to what my own fam went thru other than the fact that i always knew he died by suicide. I don’t think he wanted anything to do with me, no matter how my mom wants to defend that, but his life was tragic and he didn’t have the correct tools to deal with it.
Jerry’s socks are BRIGHT❤😂 Story 3 - my ex bf and I went through something very similar. After awhile he came out as trans fem and is now living her best life. Honestly I think with us being together, she would’ve never opened up. I think she had to have her own independent self reflection to come to her conclusions and I think we’re both much happier.
33:39 My favorite book quote really helps in this case: “Love can’t cure mental illness” no matter how hard we try, sometimes this things are very hard to get over with. I would recommend that they go to a physiatrist, since it may be a brain quimestry.
34:50 this dude has no sympathy from me. It’s not that he can’t, he won’t. I have everything listed there plus more (OCD, PTSD, postpartum, etc.). It is so hard to keep going and do what I need to do and yes my boyfriend works but it was because HE didn’t want me to, but now I’m once again looking for a job bc I convinced him it was necessary. But anyways yes it’s hard but if you really care enough, you’d do it. I’m trying to balance and learn and raise myself (after toxic childhood situations) and so is my boyfriend and we’re only 19 and my son is going to be 1 soon. Without a kid I would have been working already and saving and just enjoying myself with my boyfriend and finishing up certain things. I think you need to break it off because he’s just dragging you down and using these excuses to not do his job in your relationship. Thank you for listening to me Ted talk.
for the last story - I think it’s important to remember that when that note is written. It can be written during a very very low point and I think if it’s something they need I can understand that, however it may not bring relief or comfort.
Story 3: I understand this story so much. I don't share photos anymore at this point and it makes me uncomfortable with my MIL posting it online that I'm not looking forward to next Sunday where she's going to want to take photos and post them. It won't be a fun conversation.
On story 4, I've had this issue with family. I have a rule that if you aren't the one who took the picture, you don't get the picture. Ppl just don't get social media or that once it's online it's online forever
With story 3, it sounds like his ADHD isn’t very well managed. Unmanaged/untreated ADHD can greatly contribute to severe depression and anxiety. If I were OP, I would research ADHD and how it contributes to depression then I would sit down and have a conversation with him where I laid out how I’m feeling and the concerns I have. I would try to keep the conversation from feeling accusatory, (as many people with ADHD also have Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria), ask him how he feels about the whole situation, and ask him if he would be willing to try seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist. Another piece of advice for OP, it isn’t your job or responsibility to manage his mental health. It’s hard when you love someone and they are struggling, but unfortunately you can’t fix everything for him and he’ll have to decide to help himself/seek further help from a professional. When you don’t prioritize your own mental health, you aren’t able to properly support your partner because you aren’t putting yourself first.
On the last story my mind went crazy immediately. Thinking what if she had gotten with the dad before "Mark" committed suicide and maybe he put something in the note about that. (His 13th reason)👀 and maybe she doesn't want the daughter to resent her for that or maybe blame her for his death...😅
the last story, made me reflect on those i’ve lost to suicide- majority are male. high school boyfriend (18), friend in high school (15), another high school friend (19), & my father (53).
Both families need to respect the boundary even if they don’t agree. I agree it’s kind of excessive to ask of this but it’s their kid. They can do as they see fit
Tbh I would’ve thought it was excessive five years ago. But seeing how far AI deepfake technology has already gotten, I’m 100% with this mom. I don’t think I’ll ever post photos of my (hopeful) future kids online. Physical copies only. I want them to have autonomy over their own image for as long as possible in this increasingly crazy tech climate.
Last story: as a person who has attempted, I am terrified I will lose someone to this. My son is very sensitive and I fear he will struggle in the ways I have in my earlier years. Perhaps her mother is afraid of the feelings she may have after the note or simply afraid to speak about the topic at all. I am very open with my son and we speak about the dark side of life to ensure he is informed and supported. I believe she should read the note but I can understand the incredible fear for your child in this scenario.
just wanted to say in regards to the story about the girlfriend with a boyfriend struggling from depression and ADHD, it is 100% possible to heal/grow and learn to cope with those things while in a relationship without breaking up, but it still has to be healthy for both parties while doing so.
The mom with the relatives who want the pics should stick to her guns she has every reason to! The deep fake stuff is what made me stop posting pics of my son! It’s horrifying!!! I watch pedo catchers all the time and there are so many people who you’d never think and that is just terrifying in itself!
Hello there Morgan, Dad, and Justin. I was listening to the podcast for this episode and I wanted to offer some knowledge on the last story. As far as my experience goes. My brother committed suicide on Dec 31,2021. And for me loosing a sibling is the hardest and will be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. When it comes to personal effects of these kinds of situations. All of them belong to the next of kin (so OP’s mom). BUT, this is all public record so anyone can access those records. I had to with my brother because my mom refused to tell me anything outside of how he died. I didn’t tell her when I went to collect copies of his files because the next of kin can lock those files down so they aren’t accessible. This is what was told to me by the police and states records office. If the OP thinks obtaining any records of his death will have to be gotten herself I think that should be based of how the conversation with her mom goes. And then decide on if she wants to mention it to her or not. I knew my mom would 100000% lock those records so I would never have answers so I kept it a secret. Just a little personal experience knowledge for you. But those records are definitely public record and on file:
55:56 If I were OP I would ask my mom if there was anything in the note that she didn’t want me to read and if so, ask her why. It might be the case that there is something in the note that OP’s mom thinks that OP wouldn’t be able to deal with or would change her perception of her biological dad.
I did say I’m visiting Sydney… I’ve been here all week and currently waiting On boarding plane back to Los Angeles.. I really love Sydney and the people here… I look forward to my return in July … Hope Morgan, Justin will come too…
There is a thing called secondary trauma/PTSD. This is diagnosed to the caregivers. Several of these stories made me think of secondary trauma. I hope everyone who is a partner or caregiver to a person with mental health issues gets into THERAPY! Take it from the ex-wife of a wartime veteran. It doesn't take long to sink under the weight, regardless of how much you love that person.
That first story…The sister NEEDS that non-compete and to fire him. He doesn’t deserve to be part of her business, unfortunately. He feels entitled and that’s not ethical.
I live in ohio and I see kids coming up missing all the time, Raids being made on sex traffickers, people will steal your pics and put them on their site and once someone buys that pick your family/baby/kid is targeted….you can be out and about and men will tag your car and then you’re next in their list….is as parents have to be their voice and protect them because they have no concept of danger…if no one can respect the boundaries of the parents they don’t need to be involved with the child 🤷🏻♀️ I’ve always said idc what your title is you won’t feel entitled to my child…Facebook you can hit those three dots and easily hit save photo even if you have the share off and it’s scary anybody’s baby can be in whoever’s phone
Can I pay for my story to be heard? I want to write in but don’t want the emotional exhaustion if I’m not heard, could this be something to become available?? I’d pay up to 100 CAD for my story to be heard / advice.
1:05:055 I’m afraid the worst thing would be that the dad thinks something negative about the his child, something like: *I’m afraid to be a dad… I can’t do this. I don’t want them to be like me or even know me…etc*
The car story, it’s not about the money at all I mean yes it is but there are people who want to know they can do the work and know everything about there vehicle, and old cars are so freaking cool and rare how often do you see old cars? Not often. Having something old makes you realize how far we have come. And restoring a car give you so much self accomplishment, how many people can do this? Not many but anyone can, nobody knows anything till they do it.
Hey Morgan, it's actually not true that Boomers generally only had a couple jobs during their lives and didn't have to job hop. The average boomer actually worked about 11 different jobs between the ages of 18 and 44, so Jerrys not unusal at all. What you said is mostly true for the silent generation.
The one thing I will say about story #1 was that the 50/50 split didn't seem all that fair if he was, in fact, doing all the work. Still shitty of him, though.
He was doing all the work in that location but using the company name that is not his at the end of the day. 50/50 is more than fair as he was using an already reputable established company to do the work which is likely why he was able to be as successful as he was. they opened a new location for him and provided everything he needed to do the work he's doing so yes the company aka his sister should 100% have been compensated 50%. If he wanted 100% ownership or something he should have started and built his own company from the ground up to begin with. He got greedy and undercut his own sister for financial gain.
Story 3 Boyfriend’s Mental Health : I agree with all that has been said before about prioritizing yourself first, and rethinking if this is a place where you want to be. But as someone suffering with depression, I do empathize with his feelings (except not ending jobs in a good term). But stressing about the future is still a hard thing for me to do. First thing I remembered while listening to the story is that my best friend also suffers from depression. And when I was at the lowest point in my life I was having very harmful thoughts. She kindly asked me not to talk about her about those thoughts because it was affecting her negatively. At first I felt very bad about the request, but it made me think a lot. I know it is very hard to deal long time with someone with that disease, and my ex husband left me when i was at my worst moment. I wouldn't suggest you to stay and try to save him, because that's something only he can do. There's a limit to what you as an external person can do. But if you haven't had the conversation about how much it affects you, I really think you should do it. In my position, I wouldn't want to affect anyone I love with my own negative thoughts. I wish you two the best. Together or separated.
Story 1 is nobody concerned that the services were provided under the table so he probably never paid tax for it and the company can get in serious trouble?
Kami, The TT did get “Tagged” Chick car.. That stated I will say I have had 2 of them and truly can say it has been one of my favorite cars of all the vehicles I’ve owned i. My life .. A long list of cars…
As a victim of a pedo i am very torn on the options of deep fakes. It kinda maked me wonder if i could have been safe if he had been able to get his disgusting wants trough very well fakes. So mo real babies harmed
First, I’m so so sorry that happened to you. You didn’t deserve that and whoever did it doesn’t deserve the air they breath. And second, your line of thought makes absolute sense and in a perfect world that would be the horrible but less horrible “solution”. Unfortunately there have been studies in this with images and “dolls” aimed towards that demographic(it’s disgusting to even type out) in order to protect real kids. And every time the person still wanted to escalate to real children 😔
I don't know if anyone will read this ,a long time ago I posted pics of my kids as a lot of parents do when my daughter who is tech savvy saw it she freaked out! I honestly had no idea at the time how nefarious social media is please don't post your kids
You are right. In NY state at least, the limit is $2000 in total assets. That's cars, clothing, jewelry, including costume jewelry. Repairing it could cause all sorts of issues- I have a friend on disability who lost hers because she bought a used, cheap beater that happened to be a convertible and it was a luxury. I remember the conversation vividly, as I was put on SSI for my MS shortly thereafter- and later put on SSDI as a disabled child adult. It switched to that at 32 😂, after my mother started collecting her social security. I can never get married, or I lose it. My one med is $78,000 for one infusion I need twice a year. We're *very* limited on what we are allowed to do on disability. Interestingly, we are allowed to marry others on disability.
For the guy who is struggling with mental health issues and it's impacting the relationship. I would say set a time frame and stick to it. Give him the heads up of this time frame and expectations you want to see, and if by then those changes have not been met to your liking it may be time to leave. You can grow apart and grow back together but if he isn't willing to make those changes don't hold yourself back for someone else's potential. There may be things you like about this person but like they said, if you aren't willing to put up with that behavior the rest of your life and want/need change to be happy. Then it's best to leave.
I 100% agree. As an empathetic person myself- to a fault- I still say you need to protect yourself FIRST. Love yourself first. And if you truly love someone you want them to do the same. I know it’s hard because you don’t want to feel like you’re kicking him when he’s down- but nothing will change if you keep stringing things along. I say this from personal experience. I was with a guy for 10 years that I met when I was 18, and quite literally wasted most of my 20s being with him because I fell in love with the idea of us having a beautiful life and romance. Never really happened. Sure we had moments but not what I truly wanted. I really did love him, but it was extremely toxic and we both ended up addicted to drugs with no money, losing friends, losing jobs etc. and I don’t blame him entirely either. I allowed myself to love my life according to his decisions and thoughts (which were not great), and I didn’t choose ME. I’m not saying they are the same person (your bf and my ex), but I want you to truly evaluate the life YOU want to live. He needs help, and you really should have some sort of time evaluating conversation. Mental illnesses are very real, but they are not excuses for living a life that isn’t fulfilling. Hoping the best for you and your boyfriend darling 🫶🏼 BE BRAVE.
"Don't hold yourself back for someone else's potential." I LOVE that.
100% OP needs to look up codependency. Some of what she said is describing that, and while it typically affects someone taking care of someone with an addiction, it can also happen with someone caring for another who is constantly reckless or just doesn't care for themselves even though they have the ability to do so. This guy is in such a place that he can't hold down a job or care for himself. By constantly caring for him and making excuses for him, she is preventing him from facing the negative consequences of his actions (the main desire of someone who is codependent). You see the potential and know they can do better, but by constantly caring for them, you lose yourself in the process. She said she doesn't want to break up, but I do not see this getting any better if she doesn't. Breaking up is the only way, and even with that, you can't be involved in his life at all so he can focus on healing himself. He needs to be forced to be on his own, so he can take initiative for himself. They don't get better until you leave because you are enabling their behavior. It sucks, but that is the hard truth of it.
Story 1, your brother ruined the family. You are right to call him on it at least financially. I am sure he did it with confidence that you would let it go.
Whoever wrote the last story- you are an incredible writer and you made me cry with the comment about a different morning voice. You should possibly write to your mom to express that. Honestly everything you said in this write-in might help her to understand. It’s totally understandable that you would want to read that, especially being the age you are now. It’s so natural to want to understand someone’s thoughts and mind. I hope she is understanding ❤️ She may be protecting you from it because it could possibly be hurtful. But you are an adult and you seem very understanding of how that headspace can fog our logic. I’m sure he loved you and I also am certain your mom feels she’s protecting you from something ❤️
1st story, Ugh non-compete is letting him off too easy! Hopefully she already had a non-compete from the start and can also take him to court, he did that to himself.
They also have way too much faith in our "justice system" if they think he's doing any time for that situation. She should make him sign a lifetime non-compete and it's up to her if she wants to keep a relationship with her brother.
The way he references his online fans as his kids, ❤is e everything! I love the words of wisdom
every day is a good day with jerry justin and morgan
So like can I really come get dad’s car or? 😂
YES!!!! hahah its ready for pickup whenever
It’s true , Love Dad
Last one had me crying. It's the exact situation my poor daughter had to deal with when she's older. But for now, she is 5, and has her innocence as he was too mentally ill to be around since her birth. My heart is broken. I cannot tell you how many times I think of how or when I should tell her. I want her world to be innocent as long as it can
I’m so sorry that happened to you and your daughter. You sound like such a wonderful mom ❤
You'll know it when the time comes. 🫂
Was listening to an old episode when I realized WHAT DAY IT WAS!!!!
You guys are wonderful people, I hope each of you know that. You guys have no idea how many people you help on a daily, weekly, monthly, yearly basis. Not to say any of you are perfect, but you are all good and caring people with good heads on your shoulders. Thank you for being there for all of us.
Story 1: Also confront your family and have them explain just how they think it’s ok to steal from your family. How they can think it’s ok to take $100,000 away from you and your family? Have them explain just how they think it’s ok to be a thief to your own family and the thief never has to own up to their choices and consequences?
This is not ok and this needs to be dealt with legally.
I agree. The only thing I think we didn’t dive deep enough into is just how stressful and life-changing it can be to break up a close family. He has committed the crime that started all this, but now it feels like she’s in an impossible position with the family telling her to “let it go.” Bc even though this is ALL her brother’s fault, in the family’s eyes it’s HER who is making the ultimate decision to either let it go, or cause a divide in the family. On top of it she has a new baby niece or nephew who I’m sure she wants a close relationship with. It seems like the obvious answer that he’s a criminal and needs to either pay back,
Lose his job or be brought to justice.. but it’s so hard to make those moves when you know it’ll damage the most important relationships in your life. So back to your comment that she needs to find a way to get the parents/family to understand the seriousness and reality of this. I would start there. Show them the statements/receipts and have a sit down talk at how you can’t believe it either, but it is in fact.. the truth.
Doing summer school and this is going to get me through the day
Driving to get food before work, love listening to y’all!
I agree with Halle with not always having to be loyal to a company. We're no longer in the times where you could stay with a company for years get a pension and retire. If you're not happy at a job then you have to keep moving on and find one where you feel you can contribute and gain skills!
the butterfly effect and the car project ones got me.
my first week of eighth grade, i decided at the last minute to visit my grandparents with my mom instead of goofing off at home. my grandmother had been battling cancer and passed later that week, and i was the last grandchild to see her alive. i'm so glad that i made that decision.
as for the cars, my dad has two that don't run. one became run-down in the 90s and the other while i was in high school in the late 2010s. they're my dad's "retirement projects" and my mom calls them what they really are, "money pits". he feels entitled as the former breadwinner to sink his savings into these projects while my mom actually manages the money to get my sister and i through college and grad school. boy do i dream of the day when those cars finally get sold...
Time stamps!
Story 1 Stolen Money 4:12
Story 2 Car Inheritance 18:01
Story 3 Boyfriend’s Mental Health 31:05
Story 4 Family Boundary 45:39
Story 5 Tw: Suicide and mental illness 55:56
Thank you!!!
Godsend
With the story about job hopping, I'd also point out that his depression and morbid thoughts aren't just worrying her but it's hurting her mental health too. I'd be scared of both of them falling into depression and then feeding off each other and escalating the thoughts/habits
That’s unfortunately a big reality with mental illness, and I say this as someone with a ten year diagnosis of MDD. It seriously affects your loved ones when it’s not in check. I’ve traumatized my parents and the guilt is major.
❤ yay this upload made my entire morning! I freaking love you guys so much and have taken so so much from all of you on every episode. So thank you for this podcast as well as THT because they both get me through my days and nights ❤
This just made my week better and I have not even watched the video hahaha.
Waiting for my lunch hour to see it ❤️
❤love morgan, dad and justins takes
WOW that last one was visceral. "I'd never know what his hands felt like. I'd never know the difference between his morning voice and his truly awake voice." Etc... That really got me.
Ugh! I didn't even want to say it, but I'm glad Morgan did. OP needs to prepare themselves for the absolute worst so that anything else is better than that, AND he'll be prepared to handle it if it does come to fruition. I really hope he was able to talk with his mother about that, specifically. Maybe she can help prepare him. Wishing them the best result possible.
I am so so happy my mom didn’t have Facebook when I was kid. Just like Morgan my mom shares everything on Facebook and in group chats with family members to the point that it’s stopped me from telling her things and I have all my Facebook posts set so she can’t see them. I love her but I’m a rather private person and I can’t imagine her sharing EVERY little thing that I did with pictures while growing up with everyone she knows. These poor kids being raised now will have such a lack of privacy.
Wow I think I need to schedule an eye appointment… totally thought the board in the back said “Fck this shit” 😆
I'm hereeee love this podcast 🩷 I listen to every single episode 🥰
Rated you on Spotify, and now you're @ 4.9!!! 🎉❤ Thanks for all the great advice Poppa Jerry!!!!
Loved it. The themes are always so diverse and relatable to various aspects of our lives. Greatly appreciate all the effort you put in.
For the parents who live in another country and re having a baby. Another possible option, depending on your concern, is a digital picture frame. They dont have the access to the digital copy of the photos.
Story 4: set & stick to boundaries. If family betrays your trust or does not adhere to boundaries cut them off entirely.
Love your show and THT !
Lmao! I envy Morgan. 😂😂 hi Michelle I had a Father as half as good as you!😢 you know what though, from what I learned from my dad, is not what I wanted for my kids. I knew what to watch out for. My husband is a great father. The things my dad wouldn’t do for me and my brothers, my husband jumps up to help me with. It does make me sad, till this day, I don’t have a good relationship with my dad.
Omg the intro is so cute
For story 1: My dad had a very similar problem with his brother. Looong story short he stole a lot of money from a lot of people, including my dad, who are all in same line of work with him, and ran away. It caused my dad to lose his job since his company thought other people my uncle stole from would try to take their money from my dad since it was known they were brothers. Yet, my grandma still insisted that my father should forgive his "little brother". She didn't even ask how he was handling loss of his job, considering he is paying for my college and loss of money becuase bc of "her baby" in the middle of an ECONOMIC CRISIS. It didn't click in my dad's head that he was being used until I basically argued with him about it. He is now suing my uncle now along with 26 other people, so just take what is yours and don't let someone just get away with something so life altering just because they're related to you.
also the parents should blame the brother for ruining the family dinamic what the actual fuck
The family who wants the photos needs that digital frame the parents can update
I’ve always been an audio listener of two hot takes and never seen Jerry before and I imagined him looking totally different!
Are you guys ever going to do your podcast down the rabbit hole again? I’m mainly a RUclips listener but recently found that podcast on Spotify and got obsessed!!
No :( But we may do something similar on THT unsupervised
Wait there is a THT unsupervised??? Where is that at?
@@FatherKnowsSomething Aww sad! I’ll check that channel out again!
@@sarahbeth9525 it’s another channel here on RUclips
I wonder if the mom in the last story isn't protecting the writer, she's protecting herself. Mark said something bad about the mom and she doesn't want writer to blame her for Mark unaliving himself
Last story: Perhaps Mark referenced how a baby overwhelmed him
I just saw a comment about THT unsupervised. Where is that at? Love u guys!!
damn the whole dad committing suicide thing is so close to what my own fam went thru other than the fact that i always knew he died by suicide. I don’t think he wanted anything to do with me, no matter how my mom wants to defend that, but his life was tragic and he didn’t have the correct tools to deal with it.
Last story I teared up 🥺
Jerry’s socks are BRIGHT❤😂
Story 3 - my ex bf and I went through something very similar.
After awhile he came out as trans fem and is now living her best life. Honestly I think with us being together, she would’ve never opened up. I think she had to have her own independent self reflection to come to her conclusions and I think we’re both much happier.
33:39 My favorite book quote really helps in this case: “Love can’t cure mental illness” no matter how hard we try, sometimes this things are very hard to get over with. I would recommend that they go to a physiatrist, since it may be a brain quimestry.
34:50 this dude has no sympathy from me. It’s not that he can’t, he won’t. I have everything listed there plus more (OCD, PTSD, postpartum, etc.). It is so hard to keep going and do what I need to do and yes my boyfriend works but it was because HE didn’t want me to, but now I’m once again looking for a job bc I convinced him it was necessary. But anyways yes it’s hard but if you really care enough, you’d do it. I’m trying to balance and learn and raise myself (after toxic childhood situations) and so is my boyfriend and we’re only 19 and my son is going to be 1 soon. Without a kid I would have been working already and saving and just enjoying myself with my boyfriend and finishing up certain things. I think you need to break it off because he’s just dragging you down and using these excuses to not do his job in your relationship. Thank you for listening to me Ted talk.
My*
for the last story - I think it’s important to remember that when that note is written. It can be written during a very very low point and I think if it’s something they need I can understand that, however it may not bring relief or comfort.
Story 3: I understand this story so much. I don't share photos anymore at this point and it makes me uncomfortable with my MIL posting it online that I'm not looking forward to next Sunday where she's going to want to take photos and post them. It won't be a fun conversation.
On story 4, I've had this issue with family. I have a rule that if you aren't the one who took the picture, you don't get the picture. Ppl just don't get social media or that once it's online it's online forever
I regards to KiwiCo, I got my granddaughter the panda crate and I love them. So does she. She loves Pandas because of the Panda Crate.
for the last story i would be looking under the floorboards looking through every box, folder, and file
With story 3, it sounds like his ADHD isn’t very well managed. Unmanaged/untreated ADHD can greatly contribute to severe depression and anxiety. If I were OP, I would research ADHD and how it contributes to depression then I would sit down and have a conversation with him where I laid out how I’m feeling and the concerns I have. I would try to keep the conversation from feeling accusatory, (as many people with ADHD also have Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria), ask him how he feels about the whole situation, and ask him if he would be willing to try seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist. Another piece of advice for OP, it isn’t your job or responsibility to manage his mental health. It’s hard when you love someone and they are struggling, but unfortunately you can’t fix everything for him and he’ll have to decide to help himself/seek further help from a professional. When you don’t prioritize your own mental health, you aren’t able to properly support your partner because you aren’t putting yourself first.
On the last story my mind went crazy immediately. Thinking what if she had gotten with the dad before "Mark" committed suicide and maybe he put something in the note about that. (His 13th reason)👀 and maybe she doesn't want the daughter to resent her for that or maybe blame her for his death...😅
Love this trio❤
the last story, made me reflect on those i’ve lost to suicide- majority are male. high school boyfriend (18), friend in high school (15), another high school friend (19), & my father (53).
I almost cried when he called us his kids. 🥺 my dad passed away 2 months before my 21st birthday..
SPEAKING OF DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE!! When is that coming back???
where are these couches from? Im in love with them!
Both families need to respect the boundary even if they don’t agree. I agree it’s kind of excessive to ask of this but it’s their kid. They can do as they see fit
Tbh I would’ve thought it was excessive five years ago. But seeing how far AI deepfake technology has already gotten, I’m 100% with this mom. I don’t think I’ll ever post photos of my (hopeful) future kids online. Physical copies only. I want them to have autonomy over their own image for as long as possible in this increasingly crazy tech climate.
Last story: as a person who has attempted, I am terrified I will lose someone to this. My son is very sensitive and I fear he will struggle in the ways I have in my earlier years. Perhaps her mother is afraid of the feelings she may have after the note or simply afraid to speak about the topic at all. I am very open with my son and we speak about the dark side of life to ensure he is informed and supported. I believe she should read the note but I can understand the incredible fear for your child in this scenario.
just wanted to say in regards to the story about the girlfriend with a boyfriend struggling from depression and ADHD, it is 100% possible to heal/grow and learn to cope with those things while in a relationship without breaking up, but it still has to be healthy for both parties while doing so.
Sweet ass decor ❤
The mom with the relatives who want the pics should stick to her guns she has every reason to! The deep fake stuff is what made me stop posting pics of my son! It’s horrifying!!! I watch pedo catchers all the time and there are so many people who you’d never think and that is just terrifying in itself!
Story 3: if the boyfriend can find a profession where every day is “different” and keep him on his toes, that will help keep him engaged with work!
Hello there Morgan, Dad, and Justin. I was listening to the podcast for this episode and I wanted to offer some knowledge on the last story. As far as my experience goes. My brother committed suicide on Dec 31,2021. And for me loosing a sibling is the hardest and will be the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
When it comes to personal effects of these kinds of situations. All of them belong to the next of kin (so OP’s mom). BUT, this is all public record so anyone can access those records. I had to with my brother because my mom refused to tell me anything outside of how he died. I didn’t tell her when I went to collect copies of his files because the next of kin can lock those files down so they aren’t accessible. This is what was told to me by the police and states records office. If the OP thinks obtaining any records of his death will have to be gotten herself I think that should be based of how the conversation with her mom goes. And then decide on if she wants to mention it to her or not. I knew my mom would 100000% lock those records so I would never have answers so I kept it a secret. Just a little personal experience knowledge for you. But those records are definitely public record and on file:
55:56 If I were OP I would ask my mom if there was anything in the note that she didn’t want me to read and if so, ask her why. It might be the case that there is something in the note that OP’s mom thinks that OP wouldn’t be able to deal with or would change her perception of her biological dad.
OP’s mom should still let her read it as until OP reads it, she will always wonder.
Did Jerry say he's visiting Australia? if so as an Aussie listener I hope the trip goes well!
I did say I’m visiting Sydney… I’ve been here all week and currently waiting On boarding plane back to Los Angeles.. I really love Sydney and the people here… I look forward to my return in July … Hope Morgan, Justin will come too…
There is a thing called secondary trauma/PTSD. This is diagnosed to the caregivers.
Several of these stories made me think of secondary trauma. I hope everyone who is a partner or caregiver to a person with mental health issues gets into THERAPY!
Take it from the ex-wife of a wartime veteran. It doesn't take long to sink under the weight, regardless of how much you love that person.
I can relate to the bf in story 3. I am never content with my job. Its depressing. I get burned 🔥 out so easily with a job.
That first story…The sister NEEDS that non-compete and to fire him. He doesn’t deserve to be part of her business, unfortunately. He feels entitled and that’s not ethical.
Story 1 : i say this kindly I would sue ☀️
I’m in LA and my boyfriend loves fixing cars for fun, 23:22 , you guys still looking for someone to offload it onto?
Story 1 I’m in justin with this one what ever she does she has to do what’s best for her and her husband
Is the one couple never going to print off any pictures of their baby? How do you do that without involving technology?
I live in ohio and I see kids coming up missing all the time, Raids being made on sex traffickers, people will steal your pics and put them on their site and once someone buys that pick your family/baby/kid is targeted….you can be out and about and men will tag your car and then you’re next in their list….is as parents have to be their voice and protect them because they have no concept of danger…if no one can respect the boundaries of the parents they don’t need to be involved with the child 🤷🏻♀️ I’ve always said idc what your title is you won’t feel entitled to my child…Facebook you can hit those three dots and easily hit save photo even if you have the share off and it’s scary anybody’s baby can be in whoever’s phone
Can I pay for my story to be heard? I want to write in but don’t want the emotional exhaustion if I’m not heard, could this be something to become available?? I’d pay up to 100 CAD for my story to be heard / advice.
I think the daughter has the right to read the letter
I wonder if the mom in the last story does not want her to read because mark might blame her in some way
Turning the Audi into an EV wouldnt be that hard.
Spotify won't work:-(
1:05:055 I’m afraid the worst thing would be that the dad thinks something negative about the his child, something like: *I’m afraid to be a dad… I can’t do this. I don’t want them to be like me or even know me…etc*
For morgan: it’s boomer generation, gen x, millenials, gen z, and gen alpha
She’s also handling his IT work too…. Since it’s her email….
The mom threw the note away is my guess
More I watch more I realize I'm may e a adhd baby 😮
Plz add time stamps like THT!
Dad could do it easily enpugh.
The car story, it’s not about the money at all I mean yes it is but there are people who want to know they can do the work and know everything about there vehicle, and old cars are so freaking cool and rare how often do you see old cars? Not often. Having something old makes you realize how far we have come. And restoring a car give you so much self accomplishment, how many people can do this? Not many but anyone can, nobody knows anything till they do it.
❤
Hey Morgan, it's actually not true that Boomers generally only had a couple jobs during their lives and didn't have to job hop. The average boomer actually worked about 11 different jobs between the ages of 18 and 44, so Jerrys not unusal at all. What you said is mostly true for the silent generation.
Quattro is actually 4 not eight 😂❤
He was holding up 8 fingers though hehe
@@FatherKnowsSomething ohhhh
2003 Audi TT Quatro AWD 6speed 225hp (Engine Timing Belt GONE) Lets Convert to Electric… 👍
The one thing I will say about story #1 was that the 50/50 split didn't seem all that fair if he was, in fact, doing all the work. Still shitty of him, though.
He was doing all the work in that location but using the company name that is not his at the end of the day. 50/50 is more than fair as he was using an already reputable established company to do the work which is likely why he was able to be as successful as he was. they opened a new location for him and provided everything he needed to do the work he's doing so yes the company aka his sister should 100% have been compensated 50%. If he wanted 100% ownership or something he should have started and built his own company from the ground up to begin with. He got greedy and undercut his own sister for financial gain.
Story 3 Boyfriend’s Mental Health : I agree with all that has been said before about prioritizing yourself first, and rethinking if this is a place where you want to be. But as someone suffering with depression, I do empathize with his feelings (except not ending jobs in a good term). But stressing about the future is still a hard thing for me to do. First thing I remembered while listening to the story is that my best friend also suffers from depression. And when I was at the lowest point in my life I was having very harmful thoughts. She kindly asked me not to talk about her about those thoughts because it was affecting her negatively. At first I felt very bad about the request, but it made me think a lot. I know it is very hard to deal long time with someone with that disease, and my ex husband left me when i was at my worst moment. I wouldn't suggest you to stay and try to save him, because that's something only he can do. There's a limit to what you as an external person can do. But if you haven't had the conversation about how much it affects you, I really think you should do it. In my position, I wouldn't want to affect anyone I love with my own negative thoughts. I wish you two the best. Together or separated.
Story 1 is nobody concerned that the services were provided under the table so he probably never paid tax for it and the company can get in serious trouble?
No dog outro 😞
He never sent me the videos before he went to Australia awhhh
I am sorry to say but here in europe we are saying that audi tt its a car for haidressers (I do not want to offend anybody. I didnt invent this).
Kami, The TT did get “Tagged” Chick car.. That stated I will say I have had 2 of them and truly can say it has been one of my favorite cars of all the vehicles I’ve owned i. My life .. A long list of cars…
As a victim of a pedo i am very torn on the options of deep fakes. It kinda maked me wonder if i could have been safe if he had been able to get his disgusting wants trough very well fakes. So mo real babies harmed
First, I’m so so sorry that happened to you. You didn’t deserve that and whoever did it doesn’t deserve the air they breath. And second, your line of thought makes absolute sense and in a perfect world that would be the horrible but less horrible “solution”. Unfortunately there have been studies in this with images and “dolls” aimed towards that demographic(it’s disgusting to even type out) in order to protect real kids. And every time the person still wanted to escalate to real children 😔
I mean if it’s her brother and it didn’t hurt the company why not just let it be and just never hire him again he lost a good opportunity
I don't know if anyone will read this ,a long time ago I posted pics of my kids as a lot of parents do when my daughter who is tech savvy saw it she freaked out! I honestly had no idea at the time how nefarious social media is please don't post your kids
She would get more than 30k she would get all the profits. 30k was what would have been her share. Technically all the profits were hers.
Story 1: 4:16
I could be wrong but if she is on disability can she legally have the car ? You have to report your earnings
You are right. In NY state at least, the limit is $2000 in total assets. That's cars, clothing, jewelry, including costume jewelry.
Repairing it could cause all sorts of issues- I have a friend on disability who lost hers because she bought a used, cheap beater that happened to be a convertible and it was a luxury.
I remember the conversation vividly, as I was put on SSI for my MS shortly thereafter- and later put on SSDI as a disabled child adult.
It switched to that at 32 😂, after my mother started collecting her social security. I can never get married, or I lose it. My one med is $78,000 for one infusion I need twice a year. We're *very* limited on what we are allowed to do on disability. Interestingly, we are allowed to marry others on disability.
No she wants 30k her lawyer said she can claim 100%
Their family already ruined because she’s going to remember them turning on her.
And the taxes they might have to pay on that 120k