I’m Going to Have a…✨Gender Reveal✨ (and telling dad the news!)
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- Опубликовано: 29 ноя 2023
- In case you haven’t heard, I'm gonna be a mom!! I will take all the tips, this is a new level of challenge and I'm heckin nervous...in the meantime, I found out what I’m having and wanted to share the news with you 😁
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Just by saying "I hope I'm a good mom, I hope I can forgive myself for when I'm not" I can tell you are going to be a great mom!
Took the words from my brain!!
You can't know that for sure beforehand. The parenthood hits everybody differently, and you know what kind of parent you will be only after you have a child. But don't panic if things don't work out at the beginning, it often takes months or even several years into the parenthood before things start to get easier.
My thoughts exactly
Thank you for this 🥰
Exactly what I'm thinking. She's a whole lot more prepared than I was when I first had kids, and I was nowhere near ready and I was nowhere near mature enough and it did not go well. And I have to live with the way my life is now because of it. But hopefully things will get better.
Sorry I don't mean to make this about me I'm just trying to convey that I wish I had been in a better place before I had children and from this video alone I can tell she is much more mature and much more prepared and much more responsible about things than I was.
this is the first time I've cried at someone elses gender reveal 😭😭 As an adhd mama to an adhd toddler, my biggest advice (if you're wanting advice lol) is that you will definitely mess up and make mistakes, but whats more important is that you apologize and talk with your child about it. They learn that they can trust their parent to take responsibility when they do something wrong and you are modeling for them what it looks like to apologize. It's not always easy but I know you will be a great mom, your little girl will have so much to admire you for!!
Thank you!! That’s amazing advice, I appreciate it!
Could not agree more. ❤
My Dad was fantastic about apologizing and it was and is still one of the best things he did for me. As a kid, you always assume that your parents are acting appropriately, and when he would come and tell me that he was sorry for getting so angry it was always so unexpected and lovely.
I have tried to give that gift to my kids too.
Being able to admit when you're wrong (and apologize!) is one of the BEST qualities a human can have. 😀
My mom used to do this. She would lose her temper and yell at me sometimes but then after she left and calmed down she would come back to me and say sorry she yelled at me. I think I Respected her more because of this and it helped me realize that she was not just my mom but also a person with her own struggles.
"oh god, is anybody?" is the perfect response to asking if you are ready to be a parent. Y'all will be great parents!
Exactly.
Having the mindset that I was, in fact, NOT ready to be a dad was one of the best tools I took into the first month.
😂 honestly it was apparently what my Dad said to his feng sui lady before I was born because he almost had a panic attack. Apparently he was like SUPER excited but also like really nervouse
Oh Jess, I cried when you said you hope you forgive yourself on the days when you're not a good mom. That right there is a good start 💜
Me too
Me too.
Exactly! Wanting to be a good mom and acknowledging when we make mistakes is more than half the battle ❤️
You are ALREADY a good mum. You're researching and learning and already working hard. Way to go mumma!
👍👍 I came to say exactly this!
@@philurbaniak1811 Same!! If you care to try to do a good job and are pooling info and resources, you're already doing a good job.
I came to say the same thing ❤
Sweetest, most honest and fun to watch gender reveal. Love Dad’s attitude and his poofy hair. Y’all will be great parents! Congratulations to a fortunate baby girl. ❤
I was also impressed by the poofiness. That's some raw natural talent right there. 😊
And potentially several great options for stimming, depending what he prefers.
Congratulations! It's a Brain! 😁
Haha right?? Probably 😂
@HowtoADHD I 💯 believe it. 😅 I believe ADHD is genetic, and, well... my dad's side of the family would make a _great_ case study. 😳
No one escapes from parenthood unscathed and you’re never truly prepared(been a dad for damn near 7 years now trust me I’m still not prepared like 60% of days 😂), you’ll do great
Hey, you've got 40% of the days going for you!
I'm mom to girls 15 and 7. I feel like the longer I've been a mother, the less I know what I'm doing.
Congratulations Jess and partner! Don't worry, you'll do great even when you think you aren't!
Yup I can relate. Dad of 4 ages 13 - 7, at least 1 with ADHD and 1 very much on the ASD spectrum.
Most days I wonder what the hell am I doing!! 🤣
😂 I am perfect. In my dreams.
I have 4 kids, my oldest just turned 11. I still don't have any clue what I'm doing most days.
Aww, you're going to have a baby girl! You're going to be a great Mom! How to ADHD parenting videos will be very well received.
I’m crying omg so cute 😭😭😭😭😭
"I hope I can forgive myself on the days that I'm not"
Oooooof that hit me right in the feels. This is a KEY to being an ADHD parent, especially if your kid also has it. There will be hard days. Lots of them. Sometimes you'll be amazing and sometimes you'll lose it. On those bad days, be honest with yourself, your partner, and (when they're old enough to understand) your kid too. Self-compassion is sooooo important and I am working to extend more of it to myself!
So true… that’s what my daughters therapist told me - be kind to yourself, and acknowledge how much you actually accomplish! I’ll work on that for the rest of my life probably… 😅
You're going to be an amazing mom, you obviously care so much and that's what matters. As a mom of two teenage girls I'll confirm having daughters is great! You're already a good example for them!
"god, is anybody?" truer words were never spoken!
my best wishes for the three of you.
Holy Moly, I'm laughing so hard watching this because you've been an inspiration for me at 42 years old realizing that I'm ADHD, but then seeing even you go completely ADHD on camera. I do the same thing ALLLLLL the time. I open something and try to skim to see the info because I don't want to slow down and read it in order. I love it. Truly. Not as a matter of making fun of you, but more of a matter of knowing I'm going through the same things others are.
Thank you.
Oh, and I can't forget the best part; "CONGRATS". So happy for you.
congrats. i know you didn't ask, but in terms of being the best possible mom, here's my own thoughts (altho I'm not a parent, just a queer AuDHDer who knows lots of other queer neurodivergent people). I'd suggest you keep in mind that neurodivergence is rly genetic, and that neurodivergent kids are statistically more likely that neurotypical kids to be trans and/or non binary. so there's a possibity your kid might not actually be a girl. I'm sure you'll love them regardless
Thank you for saying this
yes!
As a non-binary ADHDer, I endorse this message ❤
Which is why I always say that my son is a boy untill he tells me otherwise.
Thank you so much for saying this 💖 As a bi, AuDHD, trans woman, it really irks me when any folks (especially ones I really vibe with) assume that one can determine gender based on external genitalia of a foetus in the womb. Gender is inherently something that only an individual can advise about themselves when they have the language to do so.
So happy for you! I am AUDHD and trying to get pregnant currently, would love to hear any tips/experiences about pregnancy from an ADHD perspective if you’re able. Congrats!! ❤ You’re going to do great!
Happy to. I feel like I’ve already learned a lot I wish I’d known before going in!
There’s a book you might be interested in…an Autistic woman talks about her experience with pregnancy. I’ll try to find the name for you
One hard thing I have found was having to get off of my medicine especially during the first trimester. I expected them to put me back on it later...but they didn't. Also, if breastfeeding you can't be on your medicine. Something weird and lovely happens though, I have found that adhd symptoms go down during pregnancy. Postpartum was difficult because the pregnancy hormones were gone and I was wanting to breastfeed. That was the hardest time. Plus, people are typically nicer to pregnant people. Having a good support system during pregnancy and postpartum would have made things easier.
Here you go! www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/191401085X?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_asin_title
@@HowtoADHD I would imagine there’s just so much to learn!
So excited for both of you :) Your reactions were sweet and tender. That you said "I hope I'm a good mom", in my experience, is a really good indication that you will, indeed, be a good mom. I still, 15 years later, hope I'm a good mom! He's thriving and maturing into a pretty level-headed kid. My therapist has reinforced over the years that it is much healthier to wonder if you are a good mom rather than assume that you are. Ultimately, I just want to do right by my son.
I feel like you'll be the mom a lot of us ADHD daughters wish we had. Now you get to be that for your daughter! The grace and care you are already showing yourself (and have shown us brains) is proof.
I've been following you for years now and I'm honestly so excited and proud of you for not only tackling this new challenge head on but also sharing it with us. Both of those are scary things. We love you and we're looking forward to meeting you little one when they arrive. ❤
CONGRATULATIONS!!! You're going to be a fantastic mom!!
I hope so! 😁
You're going to be the best mom, even on days that you're not. Just do your best, and provide unconditional love... for your child and yourself. The rest will work itself out. 🤗
Thank you so much!!
You're going to be such a great mom! I'm so excited for you. And it was so sweet of you to share that with us. I was crying along with you. (And Dr B was such a good sport!)
You can be a good mom without being a perfect mom. I know this whole parasocial relationship thing is weird, and it's hard to know if the version of you that we know is the "real" you, but if the version of yourself that you present to us is ANYTHING like the version your daughter will meet, I know already that you're going to be a good mom. ❤
As an ADHD mama to a 2 month old daughter, congratulations. Motherhood has definitely been challenging, but I'm so thankful for this experience. I'm also very grateful for a super supportive husband who has my back on my good and bad days.
Oh Jess 💗💗💗 I teared up with you!! Sending you big hugs.
If you're concerned about being a good parent, you ARE a good parent. That's my mantra when I feel down on myself. 💗 Bad parents don't think about that stuff 😅
As an AuDHD parent of two that has found great value in your advice on this channel, I feel that you will be a great parent.
Congrats! I know you're going to be a fantastic mom, whatever gender your child actually ends up being 🥳
@ephemeraldisle thank you 🥰
Agreed! 🖤
Yes, this!
I'm not crying, YOU ARE!!! You are already a good mom! As a fellow ADHD first time momma, it's definitely going to be hard to remember that at times, but you are a great momma! I'm so happy for you guys!
Just knowing you have ADHD before you're a Mom, will make everything so much better. Give yourself grace and patience. I wasn't diagnosed until a few months ago and my kids are 18 and 20. I think I would have been such a better Mom had I known :( Prayers for a smooth pregnancy and birth :)
Congratulations sweet little momma ❤ Thank you for sharing this moment with us.
You are going to be an amazing mother. You show such understanding, kindness and compassion to all your viewers, we could be arguably strangers but you still treat everyone with such positivity that I know you will treat your daughter with such warmth.
I cried with joy when we found out our baby is a girl. She is 3.5 years old now, and her autism diagnosis at 23 months led me to my autism and ADHD diagnosis! It's natural to worry about being a good mum, but I know that you will be. Patience and forgiveness are two great traits to have. Sending you, your partner and daughter lots of love and support from Australia!
You’re going to be an amazing Mom!!!
Super excited for you both! Parenthood is a challenge just as much as managing ADHD. Your history of learning, understanding, supporting and contributing to each of our lives gives me confidence that you two are going to be amazing parents. As a dad of four, I am excited to see this next chapter in your life.
Congratulations! I for one am very thankful for the work you’ve done to promote healthy dialog around ADHD. Thank you!
Aw the sweetness made me cry. Congratulations!!
You will be a wonderful Mom. One of the books I read in my young mother days was titled The Good Enough Parents.
If you are worried you aren’t good enough that’s usually a sign that you are!
Your willingness to learn about yourself and to try different ways to accomplish important things will stand you in good stead.
I have a sneaking feeling you'll be an excellent mother to your child ☺ Sincere congratulations! Both yours and your partner's reactions are super duper relatable!!!
Congrats! I remember how exciting it was to find out a few months ago and now I’m holding my daughter in my arms❤That’s such a good thought-need to be forgiving when we have those rough parenting days!
Congratulations! What you said about hoping to be a good mother and that you hope you can forgive yourself when you're not is such a great place to start. You've got this!
You two are absolutely adorable! 😁 Congratulations!
Congrats Jessica! So excited for you :D
I was diagnosed just last year but my son has been diagnosed for close to 8 years. Your videos helped me be a better mom to him and continue to help. You're going to be an amazing mom because you have a foundation of knowledge already about your brain. Congratulations on the baby girl!
I keep crying at these videos Im so glad to see her happy! Shes helped me learn so much about how my brain worked, she really deserves it
A loving gift from your mom!!! ❤ You’ll be a GREAT MOM!!
Congrats!!! So excited for you!
Congrats! I'm so happy for you! I know that you're going to be a GREAT mom because you're already a GREAT mom! The care and concern you have now while your sweet little girl is growing just shows that you have what it takes. I look forward to watching your family grow!
Just by your reactions and excitement I can tell this baby girl is very loved and will have a wonderful childhood. Congrats!!!!!
You'll be such a good mom!
That's why I love using the search function whenever I'm looking for anything! Luckily even my phone pdf reader has one nowadays and most browsers do, too. I find it way easier to think of keywords that might be associated with what I'm looking for and then skipping through those instead of visually scanning a page. I sometimes miss really obvious stuff but overall it works quite well.
Oh and congrats of course! Really exited for you to bring us with you on the journey a bit :)
I didn’t even think to do that! Thank you!!
Awww this made me cry. You're gonna be an amazing mom. She's gonna be so lucky to have you as a momma.
Congratulations
AHHHH, SO HAPPY FOR YOU! 🧡🧡
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!💚💚💚 Oh my goodness!
Awwww! CONGRATULATIONS guys - and thank you so much for sharing this sweet and beautiful moment with us! It brought some much-needed joy 💜
I’m so happy for you both!! You’ll be a GREAT mom who will advocate for her kids and guide them into the world with all the knowledge we wish our own parents had had. ❤
Congratulations brain 🎉!!! I wish a healthy and happy life for the girl
Congrats from one girl mom to another 💜💜💜
It got super dusty in here! I'm so happy for y'all. You are going to be an awesome mom because you are entering this with an awareness of your challenges and a willingness to give yourself grace for mistakes. Teaching a child to be OK with mistakes is HUGE. ❤
Congratulations!! You guys I’m sure will do great. I’ve always been told if you worry about being a good parent you probably are or you wouldn’t care if you were good or not.
Yay! My daughter, my first, is 12 now. She’s wonderful! Being a Mom is wonderful! Getting to see the world anew through their eyes, you’re going to love that part so much!
Congrats! Girls are fun, crazy and sweet. I’m blessed to have two of them.
Same! And both are SO different! Plus, ADHD like their mom.
Congratulations! You're a great mom already. I'm an ADHD mom to an ADHD daughter and yeah, some days are challenging, but it's all worth it when she gives me a hug and a kiss at the end of the day.
You are definitely going to be a great mom to your baby girl!! Wishing you and little bub all the happiness and health. Congratulations!!
You will do great as a mom!
Congrats!!!!!! Being a parent is hard but you'll do great. You have a supportive partner and community behind you. YAY A BABY GIRL.
The two of you together are ADORABLE. 💜 Sending you all the well wishes for a safe and healthy journey ahead!
I'm so excited for you! I just had a son earlier this year and by god being an ADHD mom is hard but he is the most beautiful perfect child I could ever imagine. You'll do great!
The expectation: ::opens email:: * colored confetti explosion *
Congratulations, it's an EMAIL!
Right?? With a very scientific report attached in VERY SMALL PRINT 😂
The anticipation and speculation were killing me while going back and forth trying to find the information... And, yes! I've done that too!
*SPOILER*
Read more...
This is the mood boost I needed while recovering from dental surgery. Congrats and you’ll be amazing
Awwww. Thanks for sharing the moment. You’ll be a great mom to her.
When you said "I hope I'm a good mom, and I hope I can forgive myself on the days that I'm not", I almost cried a little bit myself too. Very moving, touching, powerful moment. Praying that you're going to be a great mom.
I hope your parenting journey goes well! Fair warning that your little brain is statistically more likely than the general population to throw you a gender curveball down the line :P
Oh, I’m aware, and happy to catch it if that’s the case :) We can always celebrate again once we know for sure.
Hugs I know how scary being a neurodivergent mom can be. But your a great mom already and I know you got this!
You help so many people with your videos. You're such a caring & giving person. You'll make a great mom. And, seeing the two of you, your daughter is going to be an incredibly beautiful person.
i’m genuinely so happy for you, you helped me figure out i had adhd so you’re my adhd mom, and you do such a good job alrdy, i’m sure you’ll be the best mom ever
Lol, the fact that the result says "fetal sex: consistent with..." is just hilarious, especially when you think about ND's often identifying as a different gender than their genetic sex :D
The more important thing though: this video made me smile a lot despite my day not being the nicest of days. Thank you for that and all the best to you 3 💖
You actually said it was a girl in the video where you announced that you were pregnant. Not sure how many other people caught it on that one.
With these videos and how much heart you show and put into things to help us who struggle with ADHD, you're going to be a PHENOMENAL Mom. Take it from a Dad who's still struggling every single day with the most incredible little guy on the planet who will be 4 in January (insane to say). Please keep up the amazing work, and putting out content.
You guys are going to be great! Be patient with yourselves. I wish your mom had known. The cycle of life continues, and I am feeling pretty emotional about it. Best wishes from adhd mom of two teens.
OMG OMG OMG! CONGRATULATIONS! You are already an amazing mom. Honestly, let me know how I can help YOU!
Thank you so much!! I will take any tips you might have!
You got this! you'll be a great mom- ill be skipping this video though, might be my trans self but gender reveals seem to force the stereotypical gender tropes onto a child, big fan of avoiding that kind of behavior- ya know?
I respect your choice! ❤️
So glad I’m not alone here. Gender isn’t something that can be tested for in advance.
Glad I'm not the only one here. Genuinely a little disappointed personally. Especially with neurodivergent kids it just feels bad to have them gendered based on their genitals, seeing the major overlap with transness/non-binary identities and neurodivergence. But I guess cis people gonna do cis people things.
sending love from a cis person who knows this is not ok
I just got my cell-free DNA results back too (and already knew the chromosomes of our embryo from IVF since we’re trying to prevent another loss) - the chromosomes are no one’s business, and the only gender reveal will be whenever our kid tells us who they are. Sadly I’m never surprised by gender reveals no matter who the person is. :( The gender binary has never been so in my face as it is right now while pregnant, and we’re gonna do whatever we can to make sure our kid knows that only they can define who they are, help them access anything and everything they want to play with and read, and tell off anyone who tries to push anything binary on them.
I'm an AUDHD mom of two neuro-spicy littles, and I am so excited to see the direction you take once the little one is here! I have learned so much about myself in parenting and I hope we will all get to learn new things from your experiences!
You’ll be a great mom ❤❤ It’s not always easy but it’s a beautifully messy process that you learn your way through. You’ve got this mama!🎉
a bit disappointed to see how you frame it. its not the gender, as you cant know that yet. and still imho weird to obsess about the genitals of a baby before birth. at least you didnt do a reveal party, but still weird to do it live on the internet.
I won’t get into the reasons I chose to do it, but I wanted to provide a gentle reminder that there is always more to the story than people see on the surface. I’m sorry you’re disappointed, and for deeply personal reasons, I stand by my decision. I also respect others’ ability to make their own when it comes to their own pregnancy and child.
@@HowtoADHD thx for the response. i only know how much hurt this practice brought to trans people and that it shouldnt matter as what your child comes into the world, only that you love it.
I think of how the inventor of the reveal parties regrets it cause her kid came out as trans.
society does enough gendered pressure on kids to behave a certain way and trouble to realise what gender they are supposed to be, opposite to what they might be anyways.
I dont wanna assume thats something you would do obviously, but I am cautious and the decision to showcast to a big audience is in bad taste to me personally.
ADHD OBGYN here! Congratulations!! Reminder that this is your baby’s sex, not their gender :)
Congrats! Lots of grace for yourself! And parenting is always learning as you go.
this 59 year old man sitting her with something in his eyes. The one thing I’m the most proud of are my wife and my kids. The only thing in life ive stuck with and it has worked. You will be a great mom and with all your knowledge she’s got a fighting chance. Contrast to mom and dad!!!!
As a trans person I cringe when someone talks about a gender reveal. But I like and respect you so I'm so torn lol
Same 💔🏳️⚧️
Knowing their genitals doesn't imply knowing their gender
Sure, but genitals reveal doesn’t have quite the same ring to it. Very likely her gender will match her sex, and if not, we’ll celebrate again once we know what it is!
I cry every time I watch your videos. I’m so happy for you and your little family. So much light your way
omg, I do the same you did reading this email with an attachement since forever. The more I'm excited, worst to find infos.
Congratulations 🎉 I cried when you announced. That's precious.
I am so very happy for both of you, and I think you will make amazing parents. However, as an AFAB transgender person, this almost made me cry. I'm sure you know that the overlap between being trans and neurodivergent is significant, and that your child will not be pushed to be a girl if they are not happy (like I was). I don't mean to imply that you would do that. But I just had to put a word in for us trans Brains. If your parents/doctors were wrong about your gender, that is not your fault.
Same 💔🏳️⚧️
As long as you are prepared for the actual gender to not be what was assigned a birth, you're gonna do great.
We definitely are prepared to love them and support no matter what if that turns out to be the case :)
@@HowtoADHD Then you are already doing great!
Your partners hair is amazing!!!!! ❤ You two are so cute. Thanks for sharing the moment. So much Joy 😊
Wow! Ok, my eyes teared up too. You are already a great mom because you want to be and you are aware of what it will take. Buckle up for the ride of your life - in the best way possible. 💕💕💕
Omg. The headline threw me, because gender reveal parties are transphobic, and often end in death 😢
BUT, it was *of* course, an absolutely beautiful and vulnerably personal sharing of more about this wonderful new life ❤ so happy for you, and her (or, who knows yet, amiright ?)- that they’ll have you for a mother. Love this !
they don't OFTEN end in death lol stop
@@tiptapkey your definition of the word often, and the position you are taking are trash. Please stop
@@monasharda9812 maybe you should stop
@@tiptapkey and thank you for ignoring my first point, you transphobic pos who also ignored the third part of my message.
@@tiptapkey no thanks. I’ll stand for truth, justice, and equality
You can't reveal a baby's gender in utero. :(
Oh my gosh, you two are so adorable! Thank you for including all of us!!
I love everything about this. I love how you showed us your first struggle with reading the document. I love your response to the gender and I love how you both interact with each other. You are such a lovely couple and it’s obvious how much you both love each other. Made me cry happy tears ❤