Let’s Talk About ADHD and Trauma
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- Опубликовано: 28 май 2024
- Living with ADHD can be difficult, and trauma can make the experience even harder. And in some cases, it can even take a form that resembles ADHD. Jessica talked about her experience with Dr. Patrick LaCount, to shed some light on what it looked like for her, to have both ADHD and trauma.
This highlight is from a past Live AMA about ADHD and Comorbidities, featuring Dr. Patrick LaCount. Watch the full video here: ruclips.net/user/liveEZoiqjPRe_Q
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00:00 - Trauma and ADHD Overlap
01:01 - Challenges of ADHD and Trauma
02:04 - Understanding ADHD and Trauma
03:07 - The Interplay of ADHD and Trauma in Personal Experiences
04:03 - Relationships and Trauma
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Jessica McCabe is not a licensed mental health provider, but information presented on How to ADHD is reviewed by researchers and approved by licensed clinical psychologist Patrick LaCount, PhD (practicalpsychservices.com). While information presented on How to ADHD has historically been built in consultation with researchers and licensed providers, videos posted prior to April 2023 were not subjected to the same formal approval process required by the RUclips Health program.
For more information on the RUclips Health program and verification of health-related content, please visit: support.google.com/youtube/an...
In the book you made it clear how valuable your mother was. Trauma does not cause ADHD, but everything stacks, and ADHD can make us particularly vulnerable. We miss you, Jessica - but we are so happy you are taking her example and embracing how important a mother's attention is.
No trauma does not cause ADHD but it can be misdiagnosed as ADHD especially if a person is younger in the same with autism let's just say diagnosing is hard and symptoms tend to mask one another roll over on another
I believe trauma can cause ADHD. Read “Scattered” by psychiatrist Gabor Mate. When I was a kid, I had to disassociated so often. I believe this was one of the things that changed my brain. ADHD has classically been described as brain damage without loss of intelligence.
Trauma doesn't cause ADHD (at least as far as is known atm) but the symptoms can be very similar or virtually the same, esp when you look at complex trauma. I've read many times that to differentiate the two you look at if there was trauma and if you can't find any and it's been present very early it's ADHD. If you find trauma (complex or otherwise) it's that. So definitely sthg to look at for anyone with ADHD tendencies or diagnosis
@@sheepdog03 Gabor Mate made that up by pulling it out of his rear cavity. No one agrees with him, and he has done no testing of it, though he sure uses it to sell books and such. Don't take my word on it, there is plenty out there regarding the matter.
@@sheepdog03 He also doesn't believe in genetic predisposition and says that things are caused by generational trauma instead. He also says that if you heal the generational trauma then you can cure chronic illnesses, autoimmune disorders, ADHD and other things.
He also believes in weekend retreat psychedelic therapy to cure PTSD, depression etc (sorry if that worked that way then Harry would have been cured years ago)
In addition to this, I'd also argue that ADHD (and neurodivergence more broadly) is usually a *source* of trauma. We are often told from a young age that the way we naturally function in the world is inherently wrong. This results in a deep distrust of oneself, masking, etc.
YES! And then it’s insulting when your trauma gets attention and treatment, and your AU/ADHD (general ND) gets cast aside and disregarded as a result of that “trauma”. 🤦♀️
@@yiravarga I am struggling with the opposite right now
"What do you mean you need more help, you already got your diagnosis didn't you?"
Yes, that's what I was thinking about watching this video: I don't think I've experienced one specific traumatic event, but know that I have coping mechanism and anxieties that look like trauma responses. So now that I've been diagnosed and been working on it, I do believe that those mechanisms have been developed to "help" me deal with my ADHD and how others were reacting to it...
For sure this. Although, CPTSD I suspect is more likely than just single event truama
Feeling like you can't trust your own brain, even if you can predict it just knowing you won't have the response that other people want can be very hard to cope with.
The daily grind of instances where we feel like we failed, or we get into a situation where it's so hard to cope that it actually hurts just to attempt to go through it.
The manner in which you communicate with yourself holds significant importance in shaping your thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Unpopular opinion, but I 100% believe my ADHD is a manifestation or side effect of childhood attachment trauma and child abuse. When my trauma symptoms came out at age 40 and 47, the main thing that happened was I suddenly had a million thoughts in my head at once, and executive dysfunction, and task initiation problems -- so my ADHD is one of the main symptoms of my trauma.
I feel the same :(
I am the process of healing from childhood trauma, so this came at the right time.
awwww hope it helps
Me too, childhood abuse survivor here
same. I have had some that won't even believe that ADHD exists for me because I have tons of childhood trauma. There's no "pre-trauma" me. so it's hard to figure out. :/
Same here. 😭😭
The Doug reference is spot on.
I hope you are getting some sleep and revelling in this time with your family - and that you know your awareness of your own trauma will help you be an amazing parent.
I literally remember zoning out and forgetting everything to escape the misery I lived in as a child. Now I can't get out of it.
That's exactly how I coped, a huge dose of dissociation on top of inattentive ADHD only diagnosed later in life and possibly autism, too. Somatic therapy and EMDR have helped me a ton.
@@RowanRiverstoneThanks for sharing this ❤ Do you mind me asking what form of somatic therapy you found helpful? I’m looking for the right help and need some pointers please.
@@dassijes5943 For me personally Somatic Experiencing combined with Hatha Yoga and Kundalini Yoga, specifically Kirtan Kriya meditation, has been a huge game changer. I went to an EMDR therapist first to help deal with some specific stuck trauma and C-PTSD. That was pre-ADHD diagnosis. EMDR helped me with a lot of things, but not ADHD things and an overall dysregulated nervous system.
That's where SE, Yoga, and meditation came in. The SE gives you tools to switch between a sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous state, learn the difference, and understand your reactions and triggers better. The Yoga and meditation bring you more into your body and the now and help you stay anchored. I will still sometimes dissociate in high stress or with specific trauma triggers, but now I know when I'm doing it and know how to come out of it when it's safe rather than just operating from that as a default state. Be gentle with yourself, and if a specific thing isn't helpful or makes you feel worse, just don't do it. CBT therapy was a really bad fit for me ultimately, for example. There are other types of somatic therapy, too. I lucked out in hitting on a great fit the first time I tried it.
Throw in about a year's worth of maladaptive daydreaming and same.
Yes, I am curious too. I dissociated so much that I have TERRIBLE recall for events, particularly upsetting ones (unless they're really traumatic--then I can't seem to forget them!). And as I get more and more overwhelmed, I can't seem to "stay" in this reality, and my mind wanders (but not psychotically; just no focus as it seeks to daydream away). It gets to the point where it's PHYSICALLY exhausting (to the point of incapacitating sleepiness) almost daily.
I'm sure it took a lot of courage to post this. One of the things I've always respected about you is your ability and willingness to use your own struggles to light a path for the rest of us.
One thing I've learned over the years is that it's never "just". It's a cocktail that manifests differently for each of us, although there are common themes that can help us connect.
ADHD, anxiety, trauma, depression, grief - Ron Weasley might well say "One person can't feel all that at once, they'd explode."
To which I'd respond, "And your point is?" Because the acting out we do is very much like an explosion.
Yup. So rare for it to be a "just".
Yes, please more on this topic. My spikes in symptoms seem to correlate to spikes in trauma in my life. Late ADHD diagnosis makes it hard to see the difference sometimes.
Yeahhhh, it can be hard to tell what might be from the ADHD... what might be the trauma... and then figuring out how they affect each other in return.
Or…if it is both. You’re so distracted because your anxious, but your anxious because your so distracted.
I'd argue that for many, there is no difference: ADHD is just what trauma looks like symptom-wise in them.
Childhood abuse survivor here, was told that my behavior caused my dad's alcoholism
Ugh I'm so sorry to hear that... that's so hard to hear and be told as a human, much less as a child. Big hugs.
@HowtoADHD thanks. he was my only parent too, fun times...
Look this will sound rude but I hope you chuckle dryly when you hear that😅. I love that you can recognize how absurd it sounds because it is.
Trauma can be very difficult but especially with ADHD added onto that, since we process those emotions a lot differently :(
amen brother
And they're more intense on top of it.
what's lovely about youtube and people like jessica is only a few years ago, people would NEVER get to see a resonating conversation like that and know it wasnt just them. kudos.
Jessica McCabe, I wish more people in this world were like you. You're a camp fire on a winter night, a waterfall on a hot day, the soft rain in the springtime.
You inspire me every day to be what my fantastic 10 year old son needs me to be. Thank you for giving me the shield weapons to fight for him, but also to teach him how to fight as well.
Username checks out 😉
This just warms my heart! Thank you for being a great parent, wishing you and your fantastic 10 year old son all the love, happiness and success you deserve :)
This is such an important topic - I always feel like my childhood wasn't bad "enough" to have trauma but I think not being diagnosed until 23 and feeling the constant dismissal of how I was as a child and feeling like I was always feeling has been encoded as trauma.
I think having ADHD is a trauma itself, in this world as a neurodivergent :(
True. ADHD is a constant cycle of trauma.
Word.
Made me cry my heart out watching this. My parents challenge me to go back to therapy a lot because of my PTSD and ADHD and depression, but I can't get myself to go and do it and idk if that's ADHD or PTSD or something else but it's made this never ending cycle. Thank you so much Jessica for all you do and how much you've helped me and I'm sure so many others.
I don't know if it would work for you, but when I was having trouble with counseling I had sessions with a life coach instead (they were trained by Kara Loewentheil) and it helped me a lot. We worked on changing patterns of thinking and only went deeper when I wanted to. It was really helpful to have someone I could talk to still.
If you have a fear of therapy, look around for therapist channels that sometimes mention how to find the right therapist. Once you find a few that work with you, it can help with some of those "what if" fears. You can get a sense for how a therapist that you like will talk, from tone to the words they use. And that might help. Worst case scenario, you've found some online resources or community that can help you some.
It actually makes a lot of sense. ADHD and autism symptoms include heightened sensory sensitivity and sensitivity in general, so being sensitive to trauma seems to make complete logical sense.
Sorry for you loss hunny.
I know that she’s right next to you even though you can’t see her.
I'm a 23 year old that recently got diagnosed 6 months ago and I started going to counseling and one of the things she asked me was "Why didn't you get evaluated or diagnosed sooner?" And after thinking about it for several days I finally started to piece everything together and realized that my dad had an affair when I was around 3-4 years old and started a family with another woman. I'd often witness him beating my mother and he'd hit me as well whenever I'd get distracted or wasn't doing well in school which made everything so much worse. There were fun and good times, but also bad as well and I'm just glad to finally have answers as to why I couldn't learn or behave like the other kids.
I’m sorry you went through that. Hopefully you’re in a safer place now you can heal and learn to have healthier decisions, relationships, and a healthier life. My heart hurts for you.
Sending you positive thoughts, sorry as well that you had to go through that, glad you’re seeing a therapist. Take care.
The breathtaking, nervous laugh inducing moment I just had when Jessica was saying that her therapist told her that she is reliving her trauma through her relationships has me in a state of I don't know what. Like, now I know why my situation has gone on for so long. 🙍🏾
I've been in a similar position and came to the same conclusion with my therapist. Including, like Jessica mentioned, with a person with untreated BPD and addiction.
My trauma picked someone emotionally unavailable so that I could try to prove myself to be "good enough" this time. I hyperfocused on fixing him and the relationship to prove my worth to myself. I stayed way too long to prove that I don't quit, and that I am capable of solving the problem. But that person was never going to meet me halfway, so it was doomed from the start.
I had to leave that relationship, grieve the highs of that rollercoaster (which can be like a drug itself), and commit to finding my worth outside of other people or accomplishments. I'm in year 3 of that journey and it's still a process. But it's worth it, 100%. You can do it too.
@@dresdenvisage ❤️
I literally had to pause the video after that sentence for a couple of seconds to process...
You can get through that :) It took some time for me, but I am finally with someone healthy, loving and warm who is good to me and who I adore very much. I though that was completely off the table before
@@catvalentine4317 You are bringing some hope to me. Thank you! :)
I am just now starting this Journey. I was diagnosed two years ago with ADHD-C and just recently started therapy back up, with the idea of focusing on my past traumas. My therapist brought up this idea that some of our Trauma can cause our ADHD to be worse than what it actually is before the Trauma. I'm looking forward to seeing what unfolds over the next few therapy sessions.
Love that you've such a supportive and informative therapist. Hope your sessions continue to go well!
ADHD-C? What's the C mean?
@@Deerhunterjs Combined Type
I was diagnosed with PTSD first, and I would say its 100% certain that I have PTSD due to combat and wartime atrocities, but getting my ADHD diagnosis was a nightmare because of it. I had what are definitely PTSD symptoms, symptoms that could be from either, and then some other "unexplained" symptoms (undiagnosed ADHD or AuDHD). They gave me tons of different drugs that didn't seem to do anything for me. I got trauma focused treatment, and that helped to a degree with reducing some PTSD symptoms, complex grief, and survivor's guilt, but I had these other symptoms that I now know were undiagnosed ADHD (or other neurodivergence). I had to go around the VA to get evaluated on my own dime and came up obviously ADHD-I according to the assessor. I'm still in the process of working out whether I'm AuDHD and PTSD or just ADHD-I and PTSD.
Another complicating factor is that the doctors I have that are competent in PTSD don't seem to know anything about neurodivergence, and the doctors I have that are competent in neurodivergence are very up front that they don't know much about PTSD.
The executive functioning impact of getting PTSD on top of whatever neurodivergence I have is pretty crippling. I got so much worse after military service, especially meltdowns (and some new kind of meltdown/flashback combo that really sucks), and I seem to have worse executive functioning and sensory issues as I age. I'm doing a bit better now that I'm getting ADHD medication and medication for meltdowns.
If I had known I was neurodivergent I would have stayed well away from any profession that could likely result in PTSD. The impact of the combination seems to be devastating and seems to have foreclosed on my future and wrecked my health. I wound up completely disabled by my mid-thirties.
Early thirties here now, also completely disabled, for the same reason. Neurodivergence plus PTSD. It’s a nightmare combo that has almost no recognition or believers, even worse support than chronic fatigue syndrome. At least that got the attention and funding it needed after covid.
@@yiravarga I feel you sibling. As far as I can tell, there's almost no research about it.
Let's talk about this terrible combination.
I finally told my Therapist the other day "idk man but my life sucks and I don't want it to anymore"
@@benhagstrom2185Real that's how I feel too
Yeeeeaaaaahhhh, and important conversation to have nevertheless but booooyyyyy is it a brutal combo.
I'm no therapist, but I have learned from my mistakes. The need to slow down and think about a situation, instead of reacting is important. Our reflex response is heightened, partially because we're overstimulated. Things happen because we need to learn from them. Often times we avoid dealing with them, but the problem repeats itself when we don't. We can't change the world if we can't accept change.
@DaleESkywalker hey man it's good advice to have in our heads, personally I appreciate this info
I don’t believe I have ADHD. I have many of the symptoms but I put them down to complex trauma. I follow your channel because your tips help with the symptoms regardless ❤
Glad the tips help
I have no words, but wanted to just say that I'm so thankful for you and sorry you went through that! He was right about your vulnerability! I think you heal a lot of people when you allow yourself to feel what they can't. You are doing so much good in this world
I'm a firm believer that the trauma and abuse from my previous relationship, damaged my brain so much that now I'm reliant on medication to manage my ADHD. Thankfully, therapy and CBT have helped tremendously. Your channel is a blessing.
I'm very much in the same boat, except therapy hasn't been enough. I'm frankly at a loss at this point.
I’ve been waiting 17 months for trauma therapy in the UK with my current service, and 5 failed years of other services that didn’t even recognise my AdHd or ASC.
In crisis recently I called the Samaritans, (suicide intervention) after a few texts they said we needed to “take a break and evaluate”, and they never came back to me.
There’s NO support here.
Same situation here in Canada. I got kicked off the public counselling program in 2021 because they shut it down (heaven knows why). The text lines are only open from 4pm-midnight. Private counselling is $200 PER HOUR. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY in this economy can afford that.
Thank you so much for making this! This is constantly my battle - my team thinks my adhd is actually PTSD. I have gotten conflicting diagnoses since childhood. I also can very much relate to being treated like a bad daughter to a very sick mother and emotionally closed-off father. I've gone through so much work and abusive relationships and I'm still unclear as to what my actual diagnosis is. I appreciate you and your channel more than you know ❤
This is good. I am feeling a lot of anger towards certain people and "coaches" that say ADHD is caused by trauma. And nothing else. And you have these people just convincing patients that they can "cure" ADHD by "curing" their trauma
Life is always beset with traumas. But being born with differences impacts how we experience and express it. Much love. ❤
I never had the anxiety, I've al ways had the depression. I've had similar trauma as well. Impulses are not fun. I'm not even sure what to type but thank you for your videos I guess I'm glad to know I'm not alone
Is there a longer version of this discussion? I loved how insightful this was and I would love to learn more.
I'm currently exploring how much of my angry outbursts is connected to Trauma.
I'm not sure if it is Trauma, but because of my undiagnosed ADHD (despite two Tests!) my Dad got frustrated with me a lot, especially when I was a teenager and young adult. In my head I often hear him say: "Will you finally take responsibility for yourself, your education, etc", like he frequently shouted at me during that time. I started to feel insecure about my Dads love towards me. In my head I always knew he does love me, but my feelings began to suggest otherwise. And I think part of that insecurity stayed with me to this day when I'm 33 years old. Now I experience these doubts differently than before. My dad is so proud of me, and when he says it, compliments me or anything similar, I hear that little voice in the back of my head that says: "Do you think he really means it? Does he mean what he's saying?"
I think a lot of my emotional outbursts and frustrations are connected to this issue. What do you think?
Was going to write something way to long and way to personal... But I can relate to that dealing with several of these things can make figuring out what is going on way harder. I wish you kindness and healing.
For me it was the divorce of my parents and my father leaving from one day to the other. At a crucial step in my development at 6-7 years old. I couldn't cope with my emotions, got meltdowns at kindergarden and my mum couldn't and wouldn't deal with my emotions of grief and anger.
im in highschool and sometimes i feel really anxious if ill be able to finish highschool. like some days i have really good brain days but then i have a bad brain day and fall into the burnout trap and start failing my classes. there are some subjects that are really difficult because its mostly verbal instructions or theres too many exams. i often leave out studying for an exam last minute because im just too overwhelmed by the material😭😭
and i keep hearing my teachers saying i have the potentional "i just have to try a littlr harder" i always feel like everbody expects me to do well in school and go to univeristy.. idk if ill be able to do that. school is already extremely overstimulating and overwhelming :(
@@autumn_xx Is there a school counselor you are able to discuss this with? You may be able to request accommodations to help you succeed in school and go to college if you want to. ❤
awwwww I'm sorry to hear that... yeah school can be rough... have you considered speaking with your school about some accommodations?
@@HowtoADHD i did try but im on the "waitlist" since february :((
also i didnt mean to overshare sorry 😭😭
after a year of therapy I know for sure that I do not have adhd but OCD and PTSD. hopefully, I recovered from some symptoms but still struggling.
I would listen to a whole several hour long conversation/interview like this. This was meaningful to hear
The trauma of being undiagnosed creates its own trauma. I also come from a family who doesn't "support or believes" my diagnosis. Big hugs. That was a big share. ❤
Your mom is a gift and she taught you so many great lessons, your dad needed help and he unfortunately was not able to receive it. Your life is a beautiful one and you do not need to relive this trauma. You are a survivor sister and you will move on from this and help many more.
I'm from Argentina, and I just want to tell you how much your videos have helped me. You are my favorite channel regarding my mental condition. I can't explain the way you make me feel understood. I even send your videos to my family, so you can imagine! Thank you so much for everything you've given to this channel. I can tell that maintaining it can be really challenging, but it is precious. It's noticeable that it's made with heart.
I actually went to see Dr. LaCount as he was in close proximity a few years ago, he redirected me to a trauma therapist who has changed my life! Thank you!!
Seeing you sad, I cry with you. You are a fabulous person.
In a weird way, i have felt like my adhd made me better able to deal with my trauma once it was identified. Since i have to purposefully and deliberately shift my focus to important tasks, i feel like its easier to let go of things i can't change. And understanding my own reality vs perception has made me more empathetic to other people because i know that what i see and experience is not what they feel and experience for any given situation.
Wow that’s not something I’ve learned. I’ve known for over a decade I have adhd but my trauma has recently surfaced and it is hard to do that. Do you have any suggestions?
Jessica thanks for being real! We love you.
One of the things I learned about my adhd and trauma, that I was told my therapist also experienced, is what I call pretzel legs. When I sit down for a period of time I sometimes find my legs not crossed, but twisted like im twisting my fingers for good luck. It took me a bit to realize that was because of so much 'why are you anxious?' 'why are you bouncing your legs?' 'stop moving!' growing up...
It wasn't undiagnosed ADHD (to me at the time it would have appeared that), but I had a young diagnosis and prescription (was told in my 20s by my father that happened when I was real young like 5 or something) hidden from me for my formative years, so everything was always my fault.
Thanks for your vulnerability, I'm not trying to like take the spotlight or anything, I just wanted to share a bit of my minor trauma and ADHD experience
Same!! I twist myself up into weird uncomfortable positions and just freeze. It's how I used to do my homework in my last year at secondary school (after a horrendous family trauma that added to my already well-developed PTSD).
@@1midnightfish That's terrible!
I hope you have someone to talk with (therapist etc.)
Best Wishes for the future! :D
@@Aura-Of-Syrinx Aww thank you! I'm still waiting for my assessment but I managed to get funding for a coach specialising in PTSD and ADHD, so I'm getting exactly the help I need for the first time in my life.
My very best wishes to you too!
Next can you do adhd and anxiety? I have both (and autism too) and I wonder how they connect!
We have a video that highlights some things about ADHD and anxiety from an AMA Jessica did with Dr. Sharon Saline! You can watch it here >> ruclips.net/video/wkq60psl320/видео.htmlsi=h60x0Lxb1SJ8W5wT
@@HowtoADHD THANK YOU! Also, you're awesome!!
Seconding how valuable and admirable your vulnerability and authenticity are.
May your mum rest in peace.
Trauma therapy is great for people who went through trauma, regardless of if the trauma was decades ago or yesterday. I am realizing that some things are connected to the trauma, and some things are because of my neurotype. It’s not always clear cut but some trial and error is good and you run with it.
I also read that trauma might not only be because of an event. It can be a prolonged period of not getting what we need (physically or emotionally), even when everyone’s intentions were the best. Breakups, grief or job loss are traumas. They’re not traumas that would be recognized by a psychiatrist but they always play a significant part in someone’s emotional health.
P.S. Trauma can worsen ADHD symptoms and if left unaddressed or untreated, the person can develop other disorders like histrionic personality disorder, and borderline personality disorder, and addictions. It can run in the family yes but can crop up when things go unaddressed.
Huh. I now have to wonder if this is why when my family collectively went through a very traumatic event (which was arguably the worst for my mom) that I'm the only one who ended up with severe PTSD. ADHD runs in our family, but I'm definitely the one who struggles the most with emotional regulation.
How we all experience (and respond to) ADHD and the affects of trauma can be quite different even within the same family. So it makes sense that you may struggle way more with a certain symptom over the rest of your fam.
Whew, this dropped on the day my ADHD therapist signed me up for somatic trauma treatment... I'll definitely give it a listen ❤
Opposite for me. Extensive lifelong trauma treatments and therapies, only to have to self advocate that I probably have Autism or ADHD (which itself probably caused most of the trauma). Don’t let them gaslight you, don’t let statistics and culture sway you. If you think you’ve processed and healed your trauma, but still are distressed and disabled, advocate hard for it being an additional thing on top of trauma. “It will always look like unresolved trauma from third person if there are still unmanageable symptoms.”
Jessica, that was honest, raw and vulnerable. Best wishes from Australia 🇦🇺
I realize this is from an earlier segment, but I wish I could reach through the Internet and give you a hug. I understand this better than I wish I did. I lost my mom when I was a few years younger than you were when your mom was in her accident, and my father crawled in a bottle. Just try to remember how much of a beneficial impact you have on your community, and the world at large. I think you have done your mom proud.
Im a therapist and someone who has CPTSD and ADHD. They both show up so similarly and honestly it’s hard to tell which is which when you’re trauma began as a child. I appreciate this video! Thank you!
I second what Dr. LaCount said, Jessica. Your vulnerability is life-giving. And Dr. LaCount, you’re awesome too!
I think it’s great that you are openly discussing this topic. I am so sorry about your mom. Sadly, my relationship with my mother is strained. She suffered a Brian aneurysm when I was around 14. She hasn’t been the same ever since. But throughout my childhood, while most of it was good, there was toxicity. I didn’t realize any of that until I got older. I wasn’t diagnosed until 34. I just turned 35 in April. But I am realizing that a lot of my past issues in life and even with my mom, were tied to ADHD and also trauma. I am trying to mend things with my mom, piece by piece…baby steps. It certainly isn’t easy but I’m trying. Thank you so for this video and your channel.
Im really sorry about your mother. i got paralyzed 13 years ago but adhd is affecting me more than that. You tought me more than my doctors ever did. i can watch your videos without losing focus(i cant even finish a sentence sometimes). This channel makes me feel better about myself cuz i m already dealing bunch of Traumas like everyone else but you help me on this one. i feel like im not alone. When i watch your videos i go yes i have that thing too, this one is me etc. i cry while watching some videos cuz you show me things that i didnt even know was there. I hope you get better.
I wonder why it‘s not talked about more that ptsd can change the brain and cause adhd-like symptoms. I only heard about that recently when someone told me „I don‘t think you have ptsd, I think you have adhd“. I‘m on the autism spectrum so it wouldn‘t be that surprising but any online test I took for it came back negative, even the criteria for women. A psychologist said that there is something like trauma-induced adhd symptoms because it can change your prefrontal cortex.
I‘ve done a deep dive into adhd since then (hello, special interest 😅) and bought your book, because I don‘t care where it comes from, I‘m just glad that I learn tools to cope with it.
Jessica, thank you for your willingness to be real about your life. Your honesty makes it OK for us to be real, be struggling, be human and be hurt. I am so grateful for your channel; the education you provide for me makes me a better teacher, a better mother, and a better partner. You make such a difference in my life and in my family. ❤
Hugs Jessica. I sought and got my diagnosis after trauma too. You are a good person. A good daughter ❤
My kiddo and I (both ADHDers) were literally talking about this very thing this morning. We've bought and read your book and we're sooooo grateful for your insights. Thank you. 🙂
Hey , 3 months diagnosed adhd and autism and it has been easier to understand thanks to your wonderful words
Thank you and keep being you 🦆❤️
Jessica, I don't know if you'll see this, but you sharing your history and input from experts is so important for me. I'm terribly sorry for the loss of your mother!!! FYI, I lost my son to a DD, which exasperated my adhd (which is in the process of being diagnosed, although this sped teacher is pretty sure I've always had it). Between the undiagnosed adhd and the death trauma I had a tbi (coma for a week) and have avoided diagnoses and meds, but I finally realize I think I need them. Thank you!!!
I also am upset over a loss as my Guinea pig died 3 weeks ago at 5 years old which made me go into deep depression and 1 week later my others Guinea pig died at just 1 year old with no warning and my ADHD has just made this process so difficult.
Thank you for sharing. This hits home
I'm in trauma therapy now (Brainspotting) for childhood CPTSD and religious trauma. My therapist thinks that healing the trauma wounds will significantly improve my experience with adhd. The intrusive distracting thoughts, and impulses, the hypervigilance and need for approval may ease. Fingers crossed.
Thanks for taking the time to discuss and untangle this!
You've helped me so much...
Hope you can find healing big sister 🫂♥️
I'm going through these same things in therapy right now. It's a huge load to deal with. Thanks for understanding this and shedding light on it. Using relationships to relive your trauma is something I've done before. Now I know that's a thing. I'll be more mindful of that now. Thanks again Jessica!
Also in trauma therapy, trying to sort this stuff out. My undiagnosed mom was the one who checked out, and I am now looking at relationships through the lens you described. Thanks for this video
My struggle is that I have CPTSD (complex posttraumatic stress disorder). It was ongoing trauma. Combined with occurring during core developmental years, I don't have a "before the trauma" like PTSD from acute traumatic events. It's so, so difficult. I've had a hypomanic episode; I've been depressed; I have a history of self-harm; I've been on medications for depression/bipolar; my entire teenage and adult years have been plagued by emotional dysregulation and executive dysfunction. I'll try and set aside time to watch the whole video, but having childhood trauma or ACES (adverse childhood experiences) makes life... Just so much harder. It's not different. It's harder because I'm missing developmental milestones and social knowledge that my untraumatized peers have.
Ty Ty Ty. Your openness and courage has aided me in seeking help for myself. I’m dealing with “compounded” issues as well. Been going for 2 yrs since Covid. I can already see it helping my family and it has been so worth the investment.
Thank you 💙
healing my trauma-related emotional dysregulation drastically reduced my ADHD symptoms.
Love this and thanks Jessica for generously sharing your experience
I love this. I was what is now called an, "ADHD people pleaser" I started dating my boyfriend in January of this year and it was so rough for him the first 2 months because he never dated someone with ADHD and was getting hurt because I was putting people before him. I just figured out a months ago with my counselor that my behaviors and actions were not a result of my ADHD but trauma. I was just assuming that it was just my ADHD making me act that way. After learning this my counselor and I focused heavily on my people pleasing past and not feeling good enough from past relationships and family life. I still struggle time to time, but things are 10x better with my partner, because I'm putting him first and he is being very supportive and understanding of my ADHD, which makes me fall more and more in love with him every day. I highly recommend that anyone struggling with ADHD to seek a counselor or therapist because you may be suffering from not just ADHD but trauma also.
Been following your channel since the beginning, ADHD used to be how I identify myself, and recently I was diagnosed with Complex PTSD and BPD. Diving into the symptoms I began to question if I ever even had adhd... my trauma was ongoing since I was born so I guess I'll never know really, but your channel helps either way
Thank you for sharing, Jessica. ❤
I would add that, you can't escape the re-enactment of your trauma in your choice of partners, only gain awareness that it's what you're doing and work together with your partner to resolve it in positive ways. I think it's an important detail to keep in mind for people who may be avoiding partnership because they're afraid of the re-enactment. It's part of maturation IMO, and once you find a match who's aware of this dynamic, you can grow out of it together.
Ofcourse it's not like you can't do ANYTHING to heal your traumas without a partner, or even a therapist - there's tons of ways to dive into your traumas and resolves them on your own. And those methods really need more attention, because the people who need them, are often the people who cannot afford them :/
Yeah, it's really hard to pull these things apart. I have come to believe that my adhd wouldn't have harmed me as much if it weren't for the traumatic experience of people/systems mistreating me because of it.
This video really got me thinking about how the Trauma I went through probably changed me a lot and unveiled previously latent ADHD-y traits.
Previously I felt more autistic (diagnosed) but the during the last couple of years (after and probably due to the trauma) I have clearly went through personality changes and now I definitely feel more ADHD.
Wow Jessica. Your family had a lot to deal with there. I am so glad that you can see your father with such compassion. You have great maturity and strength of character.
Low self-esteem plays a big part in our lives.
The music at the end it brain-scratching music. I love this! 🤩 With that out of the way: Thank you for this very very vulnerable video about this very crucial topic. Sometimes it is not easy to track what part of struggle something comes from.
I'm teasing apart stuff like how my physical pains are part chronic effects left over from years of undiagnosed endometriosis, part sth. seemingly different going on there, too, now that I've have surgery, AND also part ADHD as there's things like
- hyperfocusing on physical pain makes it worse, but getting the focus off it is particularly hard as it is a strong impulse!
- not paying attention to the body and not having any automated safeguards there (aka brain either attend to hyperfocus-thing OR must-fix-body-position this-hurts and that BREAKS focus!) .... it really leads to a lot of physical "neglect" almost. And also additional injuries (I'm looking at you, corners of furnitures!!!)
- conditions and pains getting worse cause I forget meds or take them wrongly or get into "waiting mode" to remember them or just hate taking them as they are a sensory nuisance ...
Now throw in further yet-to-be-assested-but-highly-likely-there things like trauma and lack of support (which makes work on trauma impossible, as the most crucial condition is the presence of basic safety!!!) 🥲things are quiiiite a tangled mess!
On the bright side: some interventions actually help with a bunch of conditions. 😉
Putting your book on yet another list, again. Beautifully discussed. Perfect outro music. Thanks Jessica and Patrick. ♥
❤ Thank you for sharing. This encourages me that I’m not alone. Thank you for your honesty and bravery x
Hi Jess!
Its so interesting that you you are covering this topic and im so glad that you are. Ive only recently come across your channel as of a couple months ago. Interestingly trauma and healing has led me to your channel in the first place. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child (like many others im sure, i was given meds and told id be different from others and thats about the extent of an explanation i received)
Ive been in therapy for a while now talk, EMDR, CBT, etc. but i wasnt quite getting the answers i needed as to WHY i am different and WHAT makes me different.
The topic of rejection sensitive dysphoria was one of the first videos i discovered and that summarized a majority of my life.
Its hard figuring out whether the behavior or pattern(s) are ADHD, anxiety, PTSD, TBI. But what ive found most importantly (and unironically learned a lot from you) is really just manage with routine and self care. Observing but not ruminating on thoughts. Speaking with someone more grounded, and ideally more neutral than i.
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your journey with us. You can know confidently that you have helped at least one person 🙂
Having ADHD, and for the first time going through therapy and really diving into my PTSD I developed from being Bullied, Healing from Codependency, and learning how to love myself has been one of the hardest challenges of my life. Thank you Jessica. You are more of an inspiration than you realize. Thank you for sharing your experiences and your stories, as well as tips and help.
I'm giving you a huge hug right now.
I don't usually comment, but I cried with the “reenacting your trauma” part, I feel I'm trying to heal from that right now, but It's so hard when you are still trying to help the people that traumatized you.
I'd love more like this! You could give me an hour of this and I would watch it
I have childhood abuse trauma and ADHD. I got therapy for the abuse and the ADHD was diagnosed while I was in therapy but my therapist, while good with PTSD, really down played the ADHD.
To the point that I didn't address it until a decade later after crashing and burning during Covid. And that makes me both angry and sad.
I found this Channel recently while grappling with my ADHD, I bought the How to ADHD book, and the audio book, I have read it every day so far.
Thank you so much for this, I’m dealing with this right now in therapy as well and feel so overwhelmed. ❤
I'm so sorry to hear that... that's so tough to go through.
Just learning over the past week that I do have trauma and trauma reactions. Good timing, thank you 😊
I’m going to save this to watch this later. I’m already an emotional mess in less than 2 minutes in.
@Jessica, sorry to hear that you have gone through a tough time at present. One piece of advice when your emotional and feel the need to weep, never apologise for weeping, which is a release valve. Since birth knowing what it is like to have needed surgery and losing loved ones at an early age. Try to smile and be thankful for the times you've had together. I often tell people I may not be smiling on the outside, that does not mean I am not smiling on the inside.
Thank you Jessica for being so open about this kinda stuff. Helps me know I'm not alone with grief and various other things. I also have ADHD and lost my mother last year in February very suddenly. Slowly I'm just now beginning to open up a bit more about that because of therapy, so yeah. Thank you
Loss and the grief of that can be so tough. I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Big hugs.
Ive been thinking i have adhd for the past like 2 years but i stil dont actually know, ive done so much research on it out of my own self interest and all the stars have aligned to it being adhd
Thank you, Jessica, for sharing this! I've learned recently about the definite overlap between the 2. Especially CPTSD, or complex/childhood trauma. I came across Tim Fletcher on RUclips and his lectures on the subject are profound and life changing. I recommend that everyone check it out!
Person w adhd and ptsd here , and this is so powerful❤ thank you for sharing ❤