Dismissive Avoidant Breakup: What Your Avoidant Ex Is Thinking!
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- Опубликовано: 27 янв 2021
- Did you go through a dismissive-avoidant breakup? Did your avoidant ex breakup with you? Or did you breakup with your avoidant partner? And even though you felt like you were in the anxious-avoidant trap you miss your partner and want to know what they’re thinking. In this video, I profile the dismissive-avoidant partner and tell you what the dismissive-avoidant attachment style feels after an anxious-avoidant breakup.
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You confused me in your video because you mentioned if you broke up with the DA ...
Is there a cure for that?
Terrific video and 💯 accurate.
@@daniellestaley9432 Thanks Danielle!
When something is pervasive, long standing and highly resistant its engraved. Maladaptive. That's a personality disorder. Avoidant Personality Disorder. There is also narcissistic traits with DA.
If you're here because of someone like this is not with you anymore. Just leave it alone, you have no idea how lucky you are to be removed from that situation. Find someone who wants to reciprocate your love.
Comments like these help me sooo much.
@@exodus2197 i was there. I don't even miss her anymore. She is busy bringing chaos to another guy now. I have a woman who communicates in a healthy adult way and she makes my life happy. I am at peace now.
@@Azav312 Me too! I had the same issue. Some poor other soul is being tormented daily by her.
@@Azav312 this gives me hope 😆
They are torture and bring so much drama and stress
DAs are hard to have a relationship with. They pull away and act like they hate you. If they can’t go to therapy or work on things then it ain’t worth it. This goes for any attachment style. My ex was a DA and he was emotionally unavailable. Not worth it.
💯💯
I can totally relate to your comment!
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
Completely agree.
Fortunately for me it was a very new relationship. So many thanks to wonderful informative channels like this one who've shown me the avoidant attachment styles.
It's saved a lot of heartache & suffering down the track.
I used to have a lot contempt and hate for my DA ex, then I realized how truly damaged and well, emotionally disabled she is. Imagine grown-up woman not being able to process emotions and running to a party, shutting down and watching cartoons or smoking weed at even the slightest hint of a difficult situation, challenge or strong emotions (not only in a context of our relationship, but any context really). I now finally feel compassion for her, which is a good thing I think
What I have learned is that when they are not with you, they talk themselves out of having feelings, kill all their intimacy and attraction for you, then decide when they miss you show back up. You may have a great time in person and they open up and you get intimate, but as soon as you are apart again, they convince themselves they are better alone and shut you out. It only gets harder the closer you get. I thought I was secure and then after 1.5 months of dealing with the push-pull, I realize how much more healing I have to do. Please let these people go if they pull away from you, protect your energy and self worth and self esteem. They will naturally try to tear down your boundaries and control you and the relationship and Stick to your guns and move on.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
Exactly what happened to my ex gf, she pulls away after she is away from me, while I being the anxiously attached was think how can someone just not miss someone like I do.
I just got dumped 2 months ago after a 4 year r/s, because she pulled away from me and strongly had a belief we can't work things out although I tried to reason with her and give support.
I was utterly destroyed, after really feeling I'm the one who was always initiating everything, and at the end, I was the one being dumped. I guess I just have to learn to let go and slowly build up my self esteem and confidence. :(
@@shawnkee8689 me too same situation & yet I still miss him. He ghosted & blocked me even though he cried twice & helped me move into my new apartment. Makes no sense. I’m in so much pain feel like he doesn’t love me anymore & is maybe with someone else.
@@auds_e7 he is just feeling guilty of letting a great person go. Guilt is not love. You have to know the difference. Stay strong :)
OMG dated a DA and all I got was empty feeling after any conversation, we had good time only when we were together they play by out of sight out of mind and yes dating a DA is the reason I started therapy. I always felt their is a lump in my stomach when I was with them. They are very damaging even with a secure person they play games. Run as far as u can else u will spend money and time seeking therapy
Mine didn't even bother to break up. He just ghosted me 6 weeks ago. I'm totally devastated and barely getting by. These people just don't give a sh**. I recommend leaving as soon as you realize you're with one.
Jillian I had the same thin happen to me just walked away no reason and I tried relentlessly to get her back and she just turned nasty it's been 15 months since breakup and I still care about her but it was toxic.
@@michaelferguson1934 sorry to hear that. Their callousness is shocking. I wish you peace and healing.
People with BPD love to ghost
Remember that they are coming from a place of fear, not strength. Brave and strong guys do not behave like this. Take care of you, I recommend therapy, it really helps a lot.
Therapy has pivoted my life twice now. I often get asked at work to join in meetings I have no business being in, simply because of my new and better communication skills, and that came after my break up and lessons learned from it.
I simply practice what I learn about communication in relationship courses for couples. And it is legit it works!
I now feel blessed, even if it took me almost a year to get here. On a bad day I am still a bit angry or sad. And if it hadn't hurt so much, I would never have learned about attachment styles, and I would never take communication classes. Now I have a better time at work, a better outlook on relationships and life. And all because of a break up.
I too am a victim of this. Out of nowhere they don't love you anymore
I feel like AA is like water. It can be a lot, but it’s ever flowing, moveable, and can be channelled into slower moving lakes and rivers and even damned to a point.
DA is like a stone wall. Highly immovable (unless broken down, piece by piece), unchanging, and often impenetrable.
I genuinely feel sorry for people like this. I’d rather wear my heart on my sleeve and get hurt than hide behind an emotional fortress, alone. That’s not really living.
Amen - even though this hurts I am so thankful to feel and be living, not a stone cold fortress and dead inside
100% this. I find I finally start to feel compassion towards my DA ex
@@pineapplethief4418 me too
I agree and we have a better chance of healing this stuff to become secure and being with someone secure. Secure people realistically won’t stick around for avoidants because they don’t respect their need or boundaries and are horrible communicators, at least an anxious person will
FINALLY, someone explains what the DA is likely feeling when you're the one who dumped the DA. Everything is always from the perspective of the DA dumping you. FINALLY! Well done!
Dimissive avoidants are not relationship material and not worth even worrying what theyre thinking.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
You sound even more cold than them and also cruel.
Do they even care? I'm beginning to think she only cared about what I could do and provide for her...not about me.
Avoidants of any kind can't meet a partner's needs. Ideally, two avoidants should be happy together, but there is no glue to hold a relationship together.
I just got out of a relationship with a DA and this is helping me so much to not take things personally. She kind of opened up about some painful things in her past and she said that she tends to shut down when things get hard. I guess I didn't realize at the time how bad she would get.... And now I'm just trying to get over this and love myself again
@motoant its so hard not to take it personal
Im with you brother
My dear if you seriously want to recover ur relationship / get ex back or a specific person
Mr williams is the best when it comes to recovery relationship, he recover mine and he can also help you
M e s s a g e h I m n o w V i a W h a t s A p p
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
This makes a lot more sense to me now, my biggest mistake was pushing when she pulled because I wasn't aware of the attachment styles. However towards the end she did become incredibly verbally abusive which pushed me into a depression and further anxious tendencies. Working on myself now the best I can, I just feel a sense of pity for her rather than bitterness at this point.
The abuse was just further devaluation they use to protect themselves and say the relationship isn't right. It's all about destroying the whole thing to them. Think about it. It was so beautiful in the beginning but we get closer, they get closer and then they're afraid of losing themselves and their independence. They shut down gradually. We notice. We chase. They devalue. We chase. Then we break and they say "ahhh! See! I knew this wasn't right." We are all in this together. It's very difficult but after reading about this for so long I have to begin believing even if it were to succeed, this relationship would not have been fulfilling for me.
Trust me it doesn’t work if it’s just you not pushing. I tried this with my ex I just broke up with today. Yes it would sometimes work to stop the anxious avoidant trap but he eventually went so far with the pulling back I had to end the relationship. Because you can’t stay without sacrificing your needs and boundaries. It’s not healthy. A healthy person will just end it with them
take it easy on yourself, they gave you a lot of reasons to be really angry, i'm going through the same thing!
"Avoidant" is just a nice label for someone who has an undiagnosed personality disorder. There is no happy ending. Run, don't look back. You can't help or change them.
In my view, avoidance is an adaptive survival strategy/mechanism... Just like anxiousness/preoccupation. They're both valid and they most often ARE NOT signifiers of a personality disorder.
@@KatyaMorozova DA. act very often in a narcisstic way. They are highly toxic and dangerous. It's a personality disorder like pnd. There is no excuse for their behavior just an explanation. Without treatment they're gonna end with a long lasting depression for years that also can turns into bipolar behavior. DA s have to learn that being bad and mean has consequences. Leave them alone with this bs . They got to do the work not you. Don't waste your time. Run...
@@philphil4042 Can I ask what "bad and mean" looks like? What is the behavior you're describing?
@@KatyaMorozova I can answer this cheating, ignoring, criticizing, etc honestly its awful being with one. Stay away unless they're willing to work on themselves.Not worth it.
@@KatyaMorozova cheating and discarding i have seen by a DA.
I took mine back 5 times over 5 years. They say they’ve worked on themselves, but they only mean they’ve regained energy that they lost failing at your relationship. They don’t usually work on themselves. I love her, but it was a lost cause and I wasted years trying to make something work.
I dated a DA with ADHD... that was a nightmare of a roller coaster.
100% you described my experience to a T! It feels so validating to know the background behind why he acted the way he did 😅
Thanks for sharing! I’m so glad it resonated. 😊✨
Know exactly what you mean kelsey, (lovely name by the way) even though I broke of my relationship, two and half years ago and decided to be relationship free since. Wow ! I had so many questions. A few questions pop up now and again, but hey that's life. Very hard to be in relationships especially now days, don't you think ? All the best Kelsey 🙏
The AT is like a map to my relationship. I wish I knew about it 7 years ago. We had one break that matches exactly what you said 3-6 months and she came back. But now with pandemic it’s pushed us to edge again and she is deactivating and retreating.
My dear if you seriously want help to get ur ex or a specific person
Mr williams is the best when it comes to recovery relationship, he helped me get my ex and he can also help you
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
I can tell you exactly what an avoidant thinks. "it is all his fault, he is shit, i´m happier without him, he did everything wrong, im perfect, i never gaslighted you, i never did u bad, you were bad" i tried to help her by informing her of attachment styles, and her being avoidant to help her become self-aware so she wouldnt get hurt and so that she could work on it, but that turned into a huge fight and insults.
My dear if you seriously want help to get ur ex or a specific person
Mr williams is the best when it comes to recovery relationship, he helped me get my ex and he can also help you
十18048760380🇱🇷🇱🇷⏭⏭❤️❤️❤️
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
†13609219711⏭⏯??????
You are incredibly well spoken and really helped me to thoroughly understand my breakup situation with the DA. Thanks.
Thanks a bunch! And so glad it was helpful.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
Wow! You explained this SO well. I can totally relate. Thank you! 💕
You’re welcome! So happy it resonated. 😊
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
This video is very helpful, thank you.
Do they ever break up? They behave so unbearable that YOU have no chance other than to leave. Honestly, stay away!
They never break up cos they hate confrontation, so they treat you like shit so you do there dirty work!
Then they come back to try and be friends cos they didn’t do anything wrong and it’s you that ended things, you end up been the bad person 😅
Appreciate (you) labeling and providing clarity; Though I wish seen this a year ago
Are you a mountain person or a beach person?
Thankyou for this information. 💓
I did reach a breaking point and I left. I do miss them but I don't have regrets. I just hope he heals but I know he will avoid therapy and opening up about his feelings at all costs
That's kind of what happened with me. She'd been spending no time with me. Communication was becoming less and less. I was still seeing her weekly (we took a class together). The one class she came tired and things were going on but I asked if she'd have some time for us after class. She just shook her head "no." I was beside myself suddenly. Like what is going on. I just zoomed out and was looking at the situation in disbelief. How could this person love me? Treat me this way? When we got out of the class I confronted her. She got mad. Sped off. She was done. I even smiled at one point during the argument and she asked why I'd done that. I replied that I was in "disbelief." To that she got upset and said I was saying she wasn't a good partner. Lol I am going crazy over here wondering how someone could not see their own behavior. I'd been asking to see her for so long. Just to spend some quality time together. They don't want to do that though for fear of getting too close. It's all a game of push/pull. Then we get upset and the waterworks over not being a good partner begin. Like we're supposed to feel bad for them when they take every suggestion as criticism and every need we have as unrealistic. We should be able to take care of ourselves. What is love to them? I really don't understand it
@@jamesgraves9858 Damn dude I feel this so hard
@Chance it is sad. I am still sad three months later. You go back and forth and think what could I have done differently but I don't think it matters at all. I wish I hadn't cared as much as I did but if I hadn't cared as much as I did I might never have had the chance. It's damned if you do and damned if you don't.
@@jamesgraves9858 Good question, what is love to them... I had an unhealthy childhood but perhaps I did experience some love because I DO know what love is... maybe these folks actually DON"T know what love is.... idk
@@jamesgraves9858 I totally get this. Just dumped mine too. Mind you we lived an hour apart and only saw one another once a week. All I wanted was some calls during the week and my one day. He said he needed someone “more laid back” and less structured. First off we live an hour apart and both work full time, we have to plan ahead bc of that and he has 3 jobs even worse. And once a week isn’t laid back enough? What did he want someone he sees once a month yet claims he wants a life partner. No you need a casual hookup buddy bc nobody who’s serious will accept these crumbs. Ridiculous
Excellent video thanks Katya! Much clarity here!
My pleasure! Happy it helped.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
Never realized this could be something that I never knew existed. If only had hone through this earlier I am sure I would have sustained her very easily.
Are you a mountain person or a beach person?
I am so impressed with your explanation and examples of what causes a DA in early childhood. I also LOVE how you addressed breaking up with the DA and not them doing the break up. It is so hard to find content for this situation ! I broke up with my DA boyfriend and then regretted it -and we reconciled 3 months later after no contact. I had to seek him out and explain it wasn’t his fault. Things are still very difficult now 7 months into out reconnecting and we are long distance! We have a 17 year friendship as a foundation so I am hopeful we can pull through!
Thank you for the comment and for the feedback on what you found most helpful.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
If long distance is tough with a DA, then you definitely stand absolutely no chance when around eachother.
Hi Nicole can you explain how you seemed him out? I tried to see my fiancé at the time when he was in a different state for work for 1.5 months. He refused to see me. When he came back, I tried to talk to him on the phone to explain, he screamed and blocked me. It has been nearly 4 months should I go see him at his house and try that way?
Thanku for that, I needed that explanation.
I found this video very encouraging.
I'm so glad!
Fantastic video! 🙏🏾
Thank you! ☺️
Excellent video and advice. Beats the hell out of categorizing people with names such as codependent, narcissistic and or empathetic traits etc. 🙏
Thanks, Dave! The way I see it is that we're always categorizing(that's what the brain loves to do)... I aspire to at least categorize compassionately and in a way that helps us understand where each of us is coming from. 🙏
@@KatyaMorozova Thanks Katya ! you certainly do come across compassionately ! I understand that people need to categorize, by categorizing one categorizes oneself in some cases.... There's a lot of people giving advice and when one can determine or detect a person's range of authenticity, it can be sad to see. I wish you all the best with your compassionate quest in educating 🙏
@@davewelbylivinginhistinyti4796 Thank you, Dave!
OMG YES! Alot of what they say are narcissistic traits also align with anxious attachment, but anxious attachment sounds way better than the N word
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
This was extremely helpful
Glad to hear it. 🙏
loved this, hit all the nails on the head and is basically how my last relationship went. Thanks
You’re welcome! Glad it helped.
.My dear if you seriously want to recover ur relationship / get ex back or a specific person
Mr williams is the best when it comes to recovery relationship, he recover mine and he can also help you
.M e s s a g e h I m n o w V i a W h a t s A p p
.十18048760380🇱🇷🇱🇷⏭
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
My ex dumped me and came back and then dumped me again. I’m convinced that they were an avoidant. Any time there was an issue and I can tell that there’s something serious on their mind they would not discuss it. We only got back together for a couple months and I told them if there would be any issues in our relationship this time we should discuss them immediately… but out of nowhere they started getting incredibly cold and distant and wouldn’t share anything they’re going through but also blaming me that I didn’t care when I genuinely tried to hear out their problems. They also seemed to blame everything on me and brought up INCREDIBLY minor things from past and dumped me for them. I’ve actually never had a full on argument with this person before or any serious issue between the two of us but it made me feel like such garbage because of the “reasons” they were dumping me. It all seemed like an excuse to do it. They also just removed me out of their life completely out of every platform and told me that it’s best to part ways for good. Went from crazy loving to crazy cold bringing up minor issues from months in the past. Now I just feel like I was the problem and I’m not sure if they’ll ever come back again 😪
Doesn’t sound like they were very fair to you. It’s certainly not fair to let issues pile up and not communicate to you that something wrong till the end. And it’s really rare that only one person bears the burden of being the only problematic person in the relationship.
@@KatyaMorozova it’s just a very off putting situation. I don’t know what to think of myself anymore because we really never had any big arguments about anything ever. We simply disagreed about minor things before and they brought things up so far from the past which seemed so insignificant… the way they just tossed me aside twice now seems so childish. It’s really beyond me why they never decided to talk about anything either, really makes me wonder what’s going on in their head all the time :(
@@HelloThere156 Their brain is just wired like that... Probably from trauma in the past. It will be difficult to understand without being in their heads.
My dear if you seriously want help to get ur ex or a specific person
Mr williams is the best when it comes to recovery relationship, he helped me get my ex and he can also help you
M e s s a g e hlm v l a what’sapp
My partner of thirty seven years is DA. Its been push pull for all those years and I have come to the end of my rope. This is one of the very best videos I have seen, and I have seen a lot, on the subject.
My partner acts out the exact behaviours she had to put up with as a child. Her mother was institutionalised and my partner put into care temporarily. She dreads becoming her mother but she is getting more and more like her daily.
Thank you so much for your replies. I've a feeling that things have perhaps gone beyond hope I'm afraid. I could write a book about our ups and downs over the past thirty seven years which we have always just managed to find some kind of resolution. Looking back, I was just making excuses for her, to convince myself that we still had something special. I now understand her issues but she will never face them.
We are at the point of splitting up because she holds so much resentment about me trying so hard to get to know her and draw her out of her shell. I know she must have felt like she was under siege sometimes but she doesn't acknowledge that she has caused me any pain at all. I'm looking for somewhere else to live which will take a few months due to commitments so I just hope that she feels enough to kick start some self reflection
Thanks again for the support.
Wow for 37 years. That’s rough. I have no idea how you did it. I’ve dated most for a year at most and I was debilitated. Get some good therapy. It’ll benefit you after that exposure for so long
Lucid and very interesting.
Glad it resonated.
Narcissism is a pattern of repetitive behaviors that protect the sense of self from detriment, for the human to survive. Only through interpersonal relations can we observe the shadow traits. We tiptoe around the fact that our attachment styles if insecure, yield narcissistic behavior, Whether preoccupied or avoidant. We all fall on the spectrum. Until we are honest that these often become personality disorder, not just defense mechanism, we cannot effectively address our traumas. We are living out traumas and retraumatizing one another, then coming to see how and why. We MUST own our pathological traits, stop calling it empathic, identify trauma wounds and bonds, and seek help to fully heal. Otherwise, we stay hurt and hurting others.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
†13609219711⏭⏯??????
Thank you for addressing the situation of when you broke up with them. it's not that common to talk Bout that.
You’re welcome! Happy to talk about topics that go unaddressed.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
Ok thank you ❤
I enjoy your content could you describe attachment styles and infedilty betrayal?
Thank you! I’ll add that to my ideas list. 🙂
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
What I don't understand is how they can break up with u, I did nothing wrong n she is still angry at me.
They are afraid of love that's all.
@@philphil4042 omg..so you never know when or if u r going to be discarded..
@Glyn R I think it's some sort of fear to trust and fear of intimacy
@Glyn R yep.. sounds familiar 😔
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Past wounds.. best way to describe my ex's past. Jenny in Forrest Gump. Mine probably did a few more vile things. In the 20yrs since she was actually very impressive. Hard working, stable. Made good money. Except she was still an addict and took Dr prescribed speed 3 months out of the year. She would turn to me at times and say. " I fuck up". It hurt her but the hardest part was watching her split I watched her eyes die when she lied to me. The woman I met no longer exists. Sometimes it's best to let them leave.
Thank you so much for this informative words ❤️
You’re very welcome!
@@KatyaMorozova but a question how we can a dismissive avoidant feel safe when she asks for by distance or getting closer ?!
.My dear if you seriously want to recover ur relationship / get ex back or a specific person
Mr williams is the best when it comes to recovery relationship, he recover mine and he can also help you
.M e s s a g e h I m n o w V i a W h a t s A p p
.十18048760380🇱🇷🇱🇷⏭
I don't think an unhealed dismissive avoidant actually knows what they want. Ambivalence. They have shoved their emotions down. I like the spectrum idea. Not enough.imagined transgressions sounds unhealthy maybe fantasy based.
Holy fuck I just realised I might be a DA. You precisely described how I feel after being dumped.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
Off topic, your skin is great
Thank you! 😊
This was so accurate in describing my ex it made me cry lol
Aw I’m glad it resonated with you. 🙏✨
@@KatyaMorozova So how do I get him back? :(
@@sml5386 My dear if you seriously want help to get ur ex or a specific person
Mr williams is the best when it comes to recovery relationship, he helped me get my ex and he can also help you
@@sml5386 M e s s a g e hlm v l a what’sapp
@@sml5386 十18048760380🇱🇷🇱🇷⏭⏭❤️❤️❤️
This is so accurate with what im dealing with my gf!
Glad it resonated.
Hey friend... did the two of you breakup recently and you realised she is a dismissive-avoidant?
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
†13609219711⏭⏯??????
My ex was adopted. I think that's why she has a dismissive avoidant attachment style. I still really love her, and hoping for her to come back.
I've been looking for videos about jealous dismissives who deactivate when they feel there's a threat that will leave them rejected and abandoned, but I can't find anything about it.
@Mohammed Baba stf up!
They feel nothing if they already reemplace you
I was married to a DA for 27 years. I know now why it was a struggle every day being married to her. I always felt unheard and not loved fully.
A ex fiancé from 30 years ago came for her and we’re now getting divorced.
She called me controlling but we never had any deep conversation about her unhappiness.
She was shut off to any emotion towards telling me her feelings, until we started the divorce process.
It’s so weird to have her text me over details wrapping up this marriage. She’s a totally different and angry woman.
Damn that's a time bomb tragedy with a short fuse. Fuck.
Great video thank you
You’re welcome. Thanks for stopping by.
My dear if you seriously want to recover ur relationship / get ex back or a specific person
Mr williams is the best when it comes to recovery relationship, he recover mine and he can also help you
M e s s a g e h I m n o w V i a W h a t s A p p
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
She was definitely the 3rd one. She broke up and didnt feel like she was holding her end of the efforts as earlier in the relationship.
My DA ex showed his heart to me, but I didn’t know he was DA and broke up with him because of his emotional distance. Now after understanding this personality style I think he will never come back. ;(
±2348102689570⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️ Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of breakup.,.....❤️❤️❤️
My dear if you seriously want help to get ur ex or a specific person
Mr williams is the best when it comes to recovery relationship, he helped me get my ex and he can also help you
M e s s a g e hlm v l a what’sapp
十18048760380🇱🇷🇱🇷⏭⏭❤️❤️❤️
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
I’m fa and he is da. I kept trying to break things off and he kept blocking me over small arguments. In the end he blocked me and I came back . After a week I know that I don’t want to be with him anymore. So we’re on the same page 😅
My dear if you seriously want to recover ur relationship / get ex back or a specific person
Mr williams is the best when it comes to recovery relationship, he recover mine and he can also help you
.M e s s a g e h I m n o w V i a W h a t s A p p
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
He wants to help me financially but still doesn’t want a label and rarely see him. I’m just confused. He’s my ex of six months. Sighhhhhh
Going through a break up with a DA right now. Went to Hawai’i and thought we were going going to the next stage. She started pulling away after the trip and I got insecure. I got clingy and needy and was dropped instantly (after 6 months) and she’s asked for me to not contact her for a month. I sent her how I feel and even wrote a poem but she just shot down my feelings and said I was being selfish for pushing my emotions on to her :(
Sorry you went through that. They have rigid and irrational boundaries. It’s best to move on and love yourself.
Hi, I went through something similar but it was my ex who was the one starting to act clingy, needy, sent me flowers, wrote me a poem. He wants to be friends but I have remained no contact. My attachment style fluctuates based on who I’m around, however I can tell you that his anxiousness and insecurity pushes me away. I turn into an avoidant. It sounds like that’s what happened in your relationship. The only advice I can give from a female avoidant’s perspective is to work on yourself and become a more healed, secure, confident person with better boundaries. Avoidants tend to respect people with boundaries and people who can stand up for themselves. Whatever you do, don’t go back. She’s already decided that you are insecure and needy. Best to heal and start over with someone new.
Sounds like my ex together with her 2 years it was a rollercoaster every 6 months she would leave and the come back after a few weeks... especially after we returned from overseas holidays ...she said I was desperate and needy ...No i was in love not needy just anxious because if her hot cold actions. It's been 18 months now and no contact
@@FM-zg5hz why the anxious is the one have to work on them self, you also need to work on your self and be brave to say this to him and value him as a person and open up, it’s ridiculous that DAs attract anxious and then punch them
@@ahmedkmj Yeah I'm glad you said that! An anxious person most likely was a Secure person until the other became Avoidant and shady. So which one really needs to work on themselves if they dont want to end up alone?? @F M
Perfect definition of my ex 😂😂😂
Did anyone else have issues opening up the 5 Step Guide?
We break up one week ago and he did not give me a closure and logical reason while he claims that he is the logical one and calls me too emotional. Should I wait for him to text me or its over I don’t know anymore. He doesn’t reply my messages anymore :,)
I would call my self a mild anxious attachment. But I didn't know about these theories until recently. It's really weird. I just got out of 5 year relationship with one , a DA. And I have to say One of my constant complaints with the person was that? You know, it really doesn't feel like you're too into this. I used to say I feel like i'm always having to go without. I didn't realize that's because I was. And it's interesting because my last 2 relationships have been with DAs. Both of them school teachers.. ( That comes with its own set of problems, Because from experience politically they are at the child's table forever, And they can be some of the most arrogant people you ever wanted to meet.. they think the world rides on their shoulders at the same time, all evidence of doing a good job as a whole is low.) But I have to admit I had very much the same complaints in both relationships. Due to their jobs there was never a whole lot of time, And when they did have free time, there was always this Battle between spending time with you and wanting to do their own thing.. It really was maddening. The first relationship basically ended mutually in an irritated fashion. i basically said i Can't continue unless we can come to some other way of existing. And the person went cold as ice. The second one was five years. The first 3 years were pretty good, but it slowly got worse and worse. Until about a month and a 1/2 ago. I was always amazed at how what I called her responses could be obtuse... In a large way unfeeling. I always wondered what the distance was. I always figured if you're willing to share your body with somebody, That was like the ultimate of letting somebody into your inner self. I've learned it, that's not always the case. The last relationship literally just ghosted me after five years. I made an offers to try to discuss it, and let's see if we can't fix the problem, And I was just met with nothing. I guess total deactivation. I'm more hurt by the coldness of the breakup Than I am of the breakup itself because I did sense it was coming. And nothing really bad happened Just something triggered them, Or who knows maybe they found somebody else.. But I don't really understand the ghosting thing. In way earlier times in my life? If I had to end a relationship. I always gave a reason to the person. In the future i will be much more alert to this personality type
My ex had this weird resentment towards me. I'm not sure if it developed because she wanted to spend more time with me during the relationship. Can this resentment that you described reverse at all?
Are you a mountain person or a beach person?
I want to know what’s my chances of getting my dismissive, avoiding BACK I really miss her. How can I go about booking a coaching section? With you
Hi! You can book a coaching session wish me here: www.katyamorozova.me/single-session/
You're eloquent and well-versed in your subject matter so why the very distracting gesticulations? I find myself reading the comments below rather than watching you, attractive as you are.
Thank you for this great explanation. I have a question! This week I blocked my ex (DA) , because last week was our 3rd break up. The first two times I followed the no contact rule. I noticed he keeps coming back after months and finding out the grass isnt greener on the other side. He keeps taking me for granted.. We did have a lot of fights these last weeks which is really sad. But he didnt want to work on the issues anymore. I know i made mistakes myself too which I regret. But overall I know I have had the purest love for him. The last two times, after those break ups, I let him back into my life, he knew i still had love for him despite everything that happened.. So I think this maybe is not a real break up for him, at least I’m sure he is expecting that he can come back whenever he is done playing with other women. Because he could come back to me in the past.. However this time i blocked him because he hurt me so much with this on and off thing. It took me so many strenght and I am hurting a lot. I know many coaches don’t recommend blocking, but also in this situation? Where he is expecting that I will be waiting for him forever? And he can come back whenever he misses me? I’m doing this for me but of course I hope he will still miss me after some months and fully regret breaking up. I hope he will miss me so much. I hope he will reach out again and this time see that I blocked him.. I am realising he has never fully lost me because he could always come back to me, but this time its different and I hope he will realise he made a big mistake. Do you think he will ? And is it different because its the third break up? Will it take a longer time? And will he realise and regret his decision when he sees Im done playing his games and I wont wait for him forever..
This same thing just happened to me. Am devastating. Now he claims he has no feelings 4 me… but I’ve known him for 30 years & he was the one who reconnected & claimed I was the love of his life. I tried to go NC but just can’t. So now I’ve blocked his number but I found out I can text him anyway even tho he can’t text me. Ugh. I told him I blocked him & that I won’t unblock him. We shall see. I write him texts everyday but try to pretend I sent them. I hope I can stick to it. A horrible humiliating place 4 me 2b mentally & he wasn’t even on my radar when he came back. Pure ugly mess.
Tbh why would you want to go back to something that was so totally dysfunctional? Sounds far too messy. Heal yourself and don't look back is what I recommend. xx
Never !!!!
My ex girl freind DA broke up with me and said I was needy and clingy and did not give her space, I am a FA and it was 20 years since my last girlfreinds :(
I’m sorry to hear about your breakup Lyle. That must’ve been really tough to hear.
My dear if you seriously want to recover ur relationship / get ex back or a specific person
Mr williams is the best when it comes to recovery relationship, he recover mine and he can also help you
Ti
M e s s a g e h I m n o w V i a W h a t s A p p
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
What if the DA PUSHED you to break up with them?
Then it might be a combination of the two. They’re in a sense activating by forcing your hand so that they can deactivate without having to be responsible for the deactivation/breakup since you’re the one “who broke up with them”.
@@strawberryjam5844 Good for you. you deserve better. You deserve to be loved. ❤️👏
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
Interesting analysis. As a DA, I've only had a single instance in all of my relationships where I knew it was my fault. We got back together, but ultimately we weren't right for each other. The rest I never regretted ending because it was the right thing to do (including the one woman I got back together with and eventually broke up with again).
The free gift link is broken FYI
Hi. Thanks for letting me know. It should be fixed now.
Remember when DA stood for Duck's Ass?
It occurs to one seeing the humor in difficult situations might mean you spilled tahini all over the kitchen floor today; twice.
Damn you 4pm cup of coffee ☕️ 😮😮😮😮
My DA ex at 57 is miserible. She blames her lack of sleep, her boss, her job, but the biggest problem is me.
After two years of being gaslighted, manipulkated and devalued, as well as used, I finally told heer quietly that I won't invest anymore of my time and energy that has any asociation with her moving forward.
Simple.
One boundry. Completely removed my self from her existence.
No explanation needed.
Closure not necessarry.
Theres nothing left in what is not in the present or future.
I will never date a DA again.
Never!
Are DA’s neglected by their parents when they were kids?
That is sometimes the case with DA's, yes. I just made a video touching on this a bit more: ruclips.net/video/wnQ4glaBVKg/видео.html
my DA just ghosted me...after 3 years together....yup
Holy shit.. Mine did after a year and it kills me. I can't imagine 3... Did she ever contact you again?
@@bighussey He. Nope
Fear not mine did as well. Dumped for for petty problems almost a year in the past and ghosted. It’s like they were looking for excuses to justify their decision.
My dear if you seriously want to recover ur relationship / get ex back or a specific person
Mr williams is the best when it comes to recovery relationship, he recover mine and he can also help you
M e s s a g e h I m n o w V i a W h a t s A p p
Clicked to see if I’m a DA. I definitely am a high DA.
Thanks for sharing. It can be helpful to identify your style and work with it if you choose to.
My dear if you seriously want to recover ur relationship / get ex back or a specific person
Mr williams is the best when it comes to recovery relationship, he recover mine and he can also help you
M e s s a g e h I m n o w V i a W h a t s A p p
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
Lol Blindsided and shocked bc they weren't listening when the FA warned them with ultimatums prior. Also, I don't feel like DAs are as loyal as you think.
Yes most aren’t and cheat a lot bc there is zero emotional attachment and it gives them more space to cheat
Mine broke up with me. I’m only thinking she is a DA. She did it prior to my birthday. Then sent me a happy birthday message.
I lost myself in the relationship. Fell hard for her. Never before did I dedicate myself to a woman until meeting her. Going on six months now. She went on vacation with an old "friend” and coworker.
Sorry, hang in there. I faced something similar, I was younger and I felt so harshly judged by things I was doing. I lost a piece of myself each time and became a different person to them.
If you truly loved her, and she was aware. She will feel it later on and realise what she lost. Buttttt maybe don't go back to her.
@@Fallen_Angels Yeah, it stinks when you look back at yourself in the relationship.The realization that you had changed for the relationship.
I did truly love her. But the one thing that really bothers me. She had made that trip to visit her ex. The guy who supposedly pushed her away multiple times. Sore he was only a friend. I stopped checking her social media after the second time she met up with him.
It hurts……really hurts. Everyone has said exactly what you said. She’ll realize it one day. And try to reach out.
Same, lost myself , too. Did no contact snd on final days she told me that she’s avoidant…met after 1.5 months had sex, vibe was awesome she said we practice now so it works better next time…suddenly 1 week after that I am not worth being in her life after having shown her the true meaning of love as she said…just so fucking sad. Her loss though
@@smaimer4974 My ex finally reached out last October.
Her life was falling apart from her friends passing. Was basically looking for sympathy.
Told her it sucked and left her on read this time.
I'm a DA and I really want to change myself. I need to know how tho...
Thanks for commenting Andreea. I'll think about some vidoes that might be supportive to you on your journey.
±2348102689570⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️ Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of breakup.,.....❤️❤️❤️
My dear if you seriously want to recover ur relationship / get ex back or a specific person
Mr williams is the best when it comes to recovery relationship, he recover mine and he can also help you
M e s s a g e h I m n o w V i a W h a t s A p p
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Do they, really, have feelings? 😳🤨
that's a really psycohpathic thing to say
@@viridiana2870 That’s very dismissive thing to say.
@@Lotna That's a very unempathetic thing to say
I certainly not missing him at all
I know everyone is not the same and I am not generalising it. But my ex partner, who’s a DA, is far from loyal lol. I don’t think he would understand how much pain he put me through in our relationship. I don’t think he cares about the reason for break up. Probably already meeting new supplies lol.
Hi my relationship is fixed back again
my ex is back to me we loving and
happily together, I got help from a
man who brought us back together..
+190
5919
3258
He helped me not quite long and I got my husband who left me over two years ago within 48 hour's
But the thing is my DA gf doesnt want to fix things. She just let the situation be.
Well, then acceptance is the only thing to bring.
My dear if you seriously want to recover ur relationship / get ex back or a specific person
Mr williams is the best when it comes to recovery relationship, he recover mine and he can also help you
M e s s a g e h I m n o w V i a W h a t s A p p
After a terrible experience dating a DA, I feel deep sadness for what she went through. :(
Hi my relationship is fixed back again
my ex is back to me we loving and
happily together, I got help from a
man who brought us back together..
+190
5919
3258
M e s s a g e h i m f o r h e l p o n w h a tsap
She didn't care about my feelings and thoughts. Why should I care about hers? Lol.
On their mind ? I can bet anything but the person they hung out with a while back , people are after all disposable aint they ? Honestly DA people should not date , they should not engage with others. They are so secure and loving when they first get together, then at some point every tiny or non tiny things become a big deal, your mannerisms become a major irritant , you become an irritant . They stone wall you and wont reply properly no matter how much you reach out . I have been with people but no normal styles just turn off like a switch, its like a completely different person with whom you would have never connected , forget hanging out traveling. A small mistake or an off hand comment is enough to send your emotions to the gulag and there is no trial and your are dismissed! Dismissed .
From now on I will always will look for the dismissive avoidant and stay away , its too much heartache .
Yes this is the truth. They dupe you. At first some can be very giving and attentive and you think ok finally someone secure. Mine even portrayed himself as someone committal. Once I let him in it’s like a flip switched and I was better able to understand his past in relationships and it became so clear and apparent he is an avoidant and not healthy at all. He actually opened up a lot to me at first. Sucks they really do fool you
Or sometimes.... 🧟♂️ 🧟♂️ 🧟♀️ 🧟♂️ 🧟♀️ 🧟♂️ 🧟♀️ 🧟♂️ 🧟♀️
You're on the bridge
Scared to leap 😱
A girl walks by to take a peek 😮
She screamed 😱
Don't do it!!
But wouldn't ya know?
The girl's got a head like a Buffalo 🐃
With a little red hair all over the top
And breath thar could make the traffic stop 🚦
But all you can say as you run away is....
Jumbo go awayyyy
Jumbo please don't stayyyyy
-FZ
I was monkey branched by my DA
I Think I'm a dismissive avoidant
Are you a mountain person or a beach person?
Today was my 36 days of no contact c but I broke it and send an apology text to my DA ex bf , I said..
"I apologize for all the disrespectful words and things I ever said to you .
I was very toxic and pushy I pushed you to do things you're not comfortable with.
I forced myself on you .
This is not love , this is sickness
I gave you anxiety and stress instead of peace ,comfort and love .
You were so kind , gentle, caring and loving boyfriend.
I wish you all the peace and love in your life and I hope you will find the woman who can appreciate you.
And thank you for all the memories. "
And he answered me an hour later (which was very good)
"Don't blame yourself it's ok I. Apoligise for everything too thanks for good memories"
I don't know what to do next 😞
This is so people pleasing..you were hurt as well..when do you get your own apology..the DA I liked always apologized after I had done mine..months after and it made me feel like a fool for thinking it was all my fault from the beginning
@@wiemahdickson8713 agreed they never take accountability. This time around I realize it truly was him. I did all I could and most other people do when with these people
Oh wow I'm in this exact same situation now. I sent a similar message and got a pretty much exact reply. I know it was a long time ago but I'd really appreciate hearing how you're doing now? Did you ever have any more contact?
Mines deactivated dude to me not showing enough emotion. 😶
My dear if you seriously want to recover ur relationship / get ex back or a specific person
Mr williams is the best when it comes to recovery relationship, he recover mine and he can also help you
M e s s a g e h I m n o w V i a W h a t s A p p
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
†13609219711⏭⏯??????
I have a Question Katya❓ thank you in advance
Whenever my ex DA /FA and I would try to schedule date days,
Our therapist suggested twice a week to be reasonable. He would always say, " I've gotten used to the routine for you, but don't ask me , I'm ok seeing you less."
He didn't see how that was hurtful...
Why do DA and FA say things like this?!
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
Because they are disgusting pieces of s. Get rid of him.
I’ve been trying to reach out to him after o was very rude to him. I was going through a lot personally and I didn’t communicate it to him. He has t spoken to me in a week and has deactivated his ig, he hasn’t blocked me but I miss him and I’m really sorry. I want this to work but he is silent. I don’t want to be a bed person in his life and idk what to do.
.My dear if you seriously want to recover ur relationship / get ex back or a specific person
Mr williams is the best when it comes to recovery relationship, he recover mine and he can also help you
.M e s s a g e h I m n o w V i a W h a t s A p p
.M e s s a g e h I m n o w V i a W h a t s A p p
..十18048760380🇱🇷🇱🇷⏭
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Lmao....this is the first time i ever hear someone say that a dismissive avoidant is loyal 😂😂😂😂😂😂
I agree if anything they are so detached they very easily cheat and stray. It’s also a way to create distance with a partner
My DA has all these traits. But also very Christian
4 months into no contact with my DA ex. I thought we had something special. I know she is a DA, I was prepared to work with that. I miss her so much because we had amazing times. I doubt she will ever reach out.
I am a secure/avoidant leaning female. You have to move on and take all the energy you were giving to her and begin to pour it into your own life. It will be a process to get there, consider several months to a year or more if you commit to the work. That person showed care, but the actions prove to you there is no love for self. We hold on to relationships and energy of others because we aren't connected to ourselves first. It feels like you love her, but it's attachment, and addiction to the neurotransmitters of attachment. We get hooked on the highs. I never say never, in that it's always possible for all of us to work towards secure attachment, but if not, there is truly no hope for a healthy relationship. Hope this helps.
@alchemicalsoul thank you. Unfortunately I know you are coming with truth and good advice. Yes you are correct and I'm working hard on the trauma left behind. I've never had a connection quite like it. The highs were higher then with anyone ever. She would be more generous, kind and loving and then go stone cold. More then anything I want to save her. She deserves love, kids, marriage but will not accept her attachment style. I would do anything for her to open up to being loved.
This has to be the biggest load of crap i've ever heard. YOU will not normalize Narcissism, Coming up with these bogus terms for pure evil is exactly that. EVIL!
is there any way to reattract a female DA?
Leave her alone
@@Jejsucifjjenwnsn you mean move on then? don't even try to reattract?
Nice cebu blue!
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......