1. You don't know how to say no 2. You attract the wrong kinds of people 3. Everyone keeps asking you for favors 4. Some people are suspicious of you 5. You're afraid to speak your mind 6. You forgive people too easily 7. You feel guilty putting yourself first 8. You forget to be nice to yourself
I relate to all of these, except everyone suspects me, not just friends, family, strangers too, heck i was once told try not to look to shady by an officer..
Well, know that saying no can help yourself. It's okay to say no to someone, think about yourself... What if they are pushing you too hard and you still won't refuse? It'll be bad for you. Let people know there are things you won't feel comfortable and if you tell them that, I'm sure they will understand. Of course they will feel bad at certain situations but don't let that bother your so much, you can always help or answer them if it feels right.
You know what buggs me the most? Is when someone does something mean or disrespectful to you and you are soooooo aware of it or you totally refuse that artitude of him him but you're fucking to nice to stop them at there places you know, who had this kind of thing before?
“Don't mistake my kindness for weakness. I am kind to everyone, but when someone is unkind to me, weak is not what you are going to remember about me.” ― Al Capone
Exactly when I get mad and put my foot down after I've been so exousted that my only option is to literally run away or say no then I say no cuse running away in the middle of a pandemic ain't gonna do anything. People get mad at me for being "selfish". Then again I grew up Mormon and the whole thing is always put your family first nomader what even if it kills you. And if u do anything for yourself your selfish. That mixed with being an empath in a highly sensitive person is not a good mix
So true. That’s why I learned to still be myself and be nice but not to expect anything in return. That way I am still being me but it doesn’t negatively effect my well-being as much if something bad does happen because of it
Then the worst part is when you are trying to be mean but you just can’t because you don’t know how to and when you do get mad they think it is a joke and you can’t ever tell anyone your problems because you are the happy kid and everyone can tell up you their problems assuming the their life is terrible
@@bookenjoyer3970 Some people don't have much sympathy and consideration for others, Some think it's not a big deal or none of their concern so..It's hard to express that feeling towards someone when you feel like they are judging you
Being too nice is hard. You don't know how to say no when you need to. People takes you for granted. Thinking other's problems will affect you as well. And not all people deserve second chances. Sometimes, it's better to just forget. I know this because I get bullied and get picked on for being too nice. I always follow my "friends" but they don't even think of me the same way. Now I'm devoured by my depression because I barely have any love left for myself.
Soo true @Joam ! I went through that too..I want you to know and always remember that you should keep moving forward, yes it'll be tough at times. And I know that I'm just a stranger but I believe you will make it through this. Do you believe in you? Now trust me when i say, time heals everything! It does. But first, you'll need to cut off the "friends" from your life and everything else will fall into place❤ So please take care! You can chat with me here anytime 😊
I totally get this, I’m the same, I’ve been taken advantage of for being too nice and I’ve learned the hard way that not everyone is deserving of the time I give them, at least I’ve learnt now to give some of that time to myself for a change
Totally understand. I’ve always been that nice people pleasing person. I feel like people took such advantage of me and it hurt my feelings. Once I started saying no and standing up for myself the so called friends started to disappear and now I am left with no one. It’s fine I honestly don’t mind. It’s exhausting to always be there for others and not get the same in return.
I hate saying "no" because I'm a afraid that people will think bad things about me like : "ugh she's so lazy" or "it's just a small thing why can't she do it for me?".
Same...they will talk behind my back sHe'S sO nArCisSiStIc ShE's So SeLf-cEnTrEd.. but sometimes their dumba$$e$ are getting finessed by ME! 🌈 I finesse people so that they'll stop getting on my nerves and stfu...
Same. My mom usaly makes it worse tho we recently moved and she didn't get a moving truck so it took weeks to move everything to the new location and it got to the point to where I almost ran away before saying no. When I did stop helping becuse I phisicly and mentally couldent my mom's all mad and saying at least your brother is useful.
It is hard to say no, but remember that declining favours is your right no matter big or small. Someone who judges your worth by what you can do for them without taking your time and wellbeing into consideration is not someone worth your time. True friends/family understand that you have your own life and not expect you to be available 24/7. People come into our lives, but we decide who we want to stay.
People-pleasing always backfires and is a weakness that can hurt one personally and professionally. Nice is a weakness when you set yourself up to be taken advantage of, you do the lion's share of the work, and you come in early or stay late to compensate for the slackers at the detriment of your own needs.👍
Wow that makes me sad how people now think being nice is a weakness. Recently I learned to embrace my snowflake personality. Being nice isn’t a weakness, expecting something in return is a weakness and tbh if you’re expecting something in return are you even really being nice in the first place or are you just doing it because you want something. Not being mean just simply making a point
I relate to this so much. My mom always say to me that I'm too kind for my own good, she's worried that people will take advantage of me. My friend is helping me to set boundaries for other people who'd control me.
Givers have to set limits because takers rarely do. Do not give everything to people who give you nothing to anyone. Being too nice is dangerous sometimes 🖖
*8 Struggles of Being too Nice* 1. you don’t know how to say no 0:55 2. you attract the wrong kids of people 1:21 3. everyone keeps asking you for favors 1:48 4. some people are suspicious of you 2:17 5. you’re afraid to speak your mind 2:44 6. you forgive people too easily 3:08 7. you feel guilty putting yourself first 3:42 8. you forget to be nice to yourself 4:10 *thanks for the video! 💛*
I trust people so so so easily. It’s like stranger danger doesn’t go off in my head. I’m this way because I want everyone to feel accepted and heard since I didn’t and still don’t always feel that way. In the end, I always end up with a broken heart. But then I see the next stranger and I do it all again.
yes, thank you for your comment. I think I too am 'compensating' by trying to give to others what was lacking for me. I want others to feel warmth, to feel seen and heard, as this is what I was longing for myself. I know how painful it is to feel invisible, uncared for, and unloved, and so I have 'overcompensated' by overly focusing on others needs and wants, while under-focusing on my own.
To fellow ARMY who made it here as well: **relates to half of these points** "oh yeah, me... me... me.." 3:30 **is distracted by the RJ sitting in the corner on the bed** "me... OH LOOK ITS RJ! :D"
You have to be nice out of a place of strength not fear. If you can be nice and warm without fearing rejection and conflict. That's genuine kindness that takes courage. Its the difference between a "nice guy/girl" that people walk over and disrespect and a genuine equinimitous kind hearted person.
Learning to stand your ground is one of the most important skills in life! Finding the balance between taking other's opinions into consideration and your own opinion is crucial. Something that has helped me with this is a lot is practicing my mental clarity, even made a video about it, with english subtitles of course :)
This is so true I remember when I dated almost all the people that has a crush on me even though I have no feelings for them. I do all the tasks. All the pressure comes to me. When people vent to me I always say "Come by anytime" and when I'm busy I can't turn them down
Hey nice person! If you see this... This is a sign that it's okay to say no. You have permission to protect your boundaries. Stretch the corners of your mouth up. You are enough. You are worthy. You are loved. Smile. 💗 #DrLizListens
@@ashkiipo I have a video that guides you step by step how to achieve your goals. You're welcome to check it out. It's called the WOOP Method. Backed by science! =)
@@scribbletin you're welcome to check my WOOP Method video. Step by step how to achieve your goals backed by research so you can start saying no today.
I can't help being nice that I'm immune to being hurt. I'd take the time and patience to improve myself to the point that I will be able to learn that saying no is not a wrong thing, but for now school is somewhat my priority :')
yes, and really we have to take responsibility for our own 'inauthenticity' when we don't demand respect, reciprocity, consideration of our needs. if we present ourselves as not needing these things, when in fact we do, then we are not being truly honest with ourselves, or others.
Yeah I've often been accused of being fake because I'm always friendly, polite, upbeat...I think I am one of the most authentic people I know but now I understand because some people can't achieve my mindset, they can't comprehend how I do, so to them it must be an act. Oh well, my blood type is literally B(e) positive...it's in my veins. 😄😄
It broke my heart and took so much courage for me to say "no" for the first time in recent years, because of my gentle and kind heart. I've always loved helping people and making them smile my whole life, even if there were days where I honestly didn't want to help. It took me years to realize how much self-harm I was indirectly and mentally building up over the years when I was putting my needs/wants second every time due to my kindness. What I learned: Kindness opens gateways to healthy relationships but know your boundaries of kindness and where to stop if you're being taken advantage of. Great video! I can relate to every point listed here :)
Here’s a tip : drop any mean friends before they become toxic and even if that’s your only friend it’s better to be alone then with fake people. If you don’t it will get harder and harder to tell them no. I know it’s hard but dropping someone fake is a gain not a loss and I did this with my fake best friend and I feel a lot better because friends should make you feel good. But don’t worry you won’t be alone forever one day you will find a real friend. If you actually read all this good job 👍 I’ve really needed somewhere to write all this.
People say to me: "Your too nice" Even my best friend told me that because she say me giving/lending stuff to people who dont return stuff but this video is true about me cause I'm too nice...
A friend of mine is a year younger than me, and she lies about people bullying her a lot. She hangs out with a group of girls, I’ve seen them laughing and talking and joking around during class and before lunch break but whenever I’m at school she pushes them away during lunch and recess, ignoring their pleas to have her play with them and lying about how terrible they are, how mean they treat her in class and how everyone just is a b*tch to her. So I sit with her. I talk to her, work out her problems for her and most of all draw for her. I create characters so she has something to think about and she takes an eraser and changes it so much all the flaws are gone along with the story climax and the problem. None of the art and character concepts I’ve done since I’ve met her are original anymore, all the characters are all powerful with no problems and a perfect life. The worst part is, she’s stubborn. Anger issues stubborn. Pick up a chair and yell stubborn. No is not a word in her vocabulary. She wastes her mother’s money mercilessly on presents that I chose only for the sake of making them as cheap as possible, she beats kids up for mispronouncing my name and she’s excessively clingy. I get no more time to myself, my art is no more original than fanart of a TV character, I spend most nights worrying over how to tell her I need my space whilst also figuring out how exactly I’ll need to help her fix a problem the next day, be it my own faults or something she’s made up. I’m losing sleep, guilty because of the presents but torn between self care and empathy over a fake friendship that seemed one sided from the beginning. I feel like I’m being ungrateful because of how much she’s spent on me, while I feel drained because of all the emotional effort this costs. I am not an extroverted person, socialising tires me out fast, and now I’m constantly in the presence of a person who uses me emotionally and tries to fill it with the fake cement of guilt tripped presents. I’m tired, even eating becomes an ongoing social event and solitude, something I used to covet with a familiar luxury is now an almost alien aspect. I’m the oldest child in my family, and my parents are both divorced. Both my mum and dad are doing online courses for university at their respective houses which leaves me practically in full charge of my younger sisters full time. I can’t juggle schoolwork, eating disorders, filling in for my parents and toxic friends along with the trouble sleeping I’ve developed. I desperately need help, and the worst part is I don’t know how I can tell anyone no, because I feel so guilty about how much they’ve given me and how much I owe them. I need to recharge a bit, it’s like a crowd of people are trying to use the same device with no cord or battery or anything. Please help.
Hey there. That sounds really frustrating and exhausting. No wonder you're upset. I don't wanna be giving unsolicited advice, but here we go. First off, I think you're really sweet and wonderful for caring so deeply about those around you :) However, we should keep in mind, that caring for people doesn't mean that we have to sort out their problems for them or somehow make their life perfect. That is not our responsibility and never should we offer to take that burden. In every relationship, it is extremely important to have boundaries. That's what helps us to give our best to others, since we are in a better state of mind. Since we know whatever we give, we are giving it freely and with love. And while it can be sometimes scary to put the boundaries in place, trust me when I tell you, it will bring you peace. From what I can see, you've done a lot for your friend too. And that comes from a place of concern and fondness. That's what you have contributed to your friendship. And she, in her own way, has contributed to it too. So, you don't owe her anything. However, if you feel uncomfortable with the gifts, you can say so to her. Maybe give them back to her. Or if not, you could donate them. You should not have to feel guilty for not wanting to continue this kind of an exchange with your friend. It's absolutely okay to not want to continue this friendship, if you feel like it's been a fake friendship. You're not being mean/rude/selfish/any other negative adjective. Sometimes, people need to grow on their own and that's alright. And I think your friend needs that right now. You've been a lovely friend and I'm sure she'll realise that at some point. Given how the circumstances are, maybe, you could focus on your art. And how you really want to express it. Not how your friend has changed them into. Focus on your sisters, your health(you're lovely as you are 💜), school and anything that brings you happiness. Maybe you could speak with your parents over sharing of responsibilities for your sisters. It's great that you're helping your parents out, but if it's getting too much, it would be better to talk to them about it. Sorry for making this too long. Anyhow, whatever happens, I really hope you find some peace. Please take care and stay safe. Hope this helps in some way.
100% accurate. But I can only add, set the boundaries, but never stop being what is so desperately needed. You live from your heart, and that is absolutely 100% OK and heavily appreciated be those who do, and even those that don't realize it yet/ the haters. Love to all.
I’m very nice introvert But sometimes a snap...well most likely I won’t but when I snap then it’s not gonna end well Once I almost lost a friend Once the teacher ALMOST cried.. (she’s kinda sensitive..) I feel so guilty
I don't know when to not give a second chance because I always feel like I need to "fix the situation" between the person and me, even though I'm usually not the one messing things up. I just feel guilty that what used to be so good is now gone or tarnished by conflict.
Another struggle for being too nice is that when you have problems, people tend to look down on it or take it lightly because they think your life is happy and not as crappy as theirs. Being nice isn't equal to not experiencing problems.
1.you don't know how to say no✔ 2.You attract the wrong kind of people✔ 3.Everyone keeps asking you for favours ✔ 4 some people are suspicious of you✔ 5 you are afraid to speak your mind✔ 6 you forgive people too easily✔ 7 you feel guilty putting yourself first✔ & finally 8 you forget to be nice to yourself😥✔ This is completely me😥😥 I try to happy anyone & to don't break their mind.But finally they break my mind.😧 "I don't want to be so nice anymore😑😑"
Just doing some late night research and been making progress. I’m in a strange state of realization that I’ve been so nice my whole life because others around me weren’t. It was a cause of shame for me, so I endeavored to “make up” for the failings of those around me by taking the blame and setting myself up to handle the responsibility. I people pleased on the daily, meanwhile self criticizing myself extremely for any and all presumed offenses I’d make. And my golly I’m trying to unlearn these behaviors. There’s been no reason for me to be acting in these ways; and while I can still take joy and recognize the gifts in me such as compassion, laughter, and lending a helping hand, I can’t be so reckless in believing I can make everyone’s day and save the world. It’s too much for one little guy and I’m one little guy. Collecting burdens is one hobby I’m trying to let go of.
I literally give all classmates my food all my fries even tho i haven't ate yet i haven't had breakfast at that time but ppl wanted my fries so i gave them (also most of them were selfish) not a lot of ppl gave something back to me :(
@@rumeysakinn89 ikr sometimes they say "give me food or were not friends anymore" I literally wanna punch them but i cant they dont even give a single food to me! :(
I realised in time that being too nice was my way of sabotaging myself and manifesting my low self-esteem. Do shadow work, guys, learn how to bite back when you need to!
Since quiet a ong time , was trying to figure out some things regarding myself , this video , really brought out the gist of where all I really need to work on myself , in today's day and age. Thank you .
Hi I just want to know if anyone else feel the same as me cause when ever we have speech or need to read the book out loud at class I get nervous and my beats faster🤷🏻♀️
All of these points fit me!! I don't know why I'm too nice, but it's really taking a toll on my mental health. I feel really bad if I didn't help someone or if I disturbed someone. I hope I could find a way to get rid of my guilt of not helping people all the time. 😔
i got one like that too. it's so hard to be selfish to them because then it would make ourselves the toxic one. but believe me, cut them off. you'll feel like you're losing a part of yourself but trust me, you'll find a better version of yourself without those kind of people in your life.
@@Qilolicious I do agree because I get a Lil grumpy around her and she is always near me so I have various mood swings but now during quarantine I am more myself and I am happier but when I remember that when lock down ends again the same thing would happen but now I am clear and ik what to do thanks :)
This is from childhood conditioning. "Be nice, be lady like" when I would show negative emotion, invalidated. "people dont like that, that's the devil, that's ugly, I dont like that, stop crying"... my reputation was about being nice. I identified as nice. I was a people pleaser. I knew nothing else. Bullied, backstabbed, walked all over... Even by my own family. Led me to all types of abuse by my boyfriend at the time at 15 in my sophomore year of high school. Learned so much about myself and about true love. 17 going on 18 in a few months now and I'm so much higher than I was before. I even learned how to have a healthy romantic relationship with my twin flame. Health in general is one of my top values. I know how to give and take. I have become my number one priority without being too closed off and selfish. I've Learned, unlearned, even going through a spiritual journey. And got real friends I consider to be my soul family. There is still so much more to life and to think I wanted to die at such a young age... Shout out to Tupac because Roses really do grow from concrete. I am living proof. You can do it too. If you dont think nobody believe in you, mf I BELIEVE IN YOU. For real. Everyone can grow, it is your birth right. Everyone can learn, unlearn, wake up, and work to heal their demons. If your demon is named Too Nice like mine is, know that you have the power to tame it and use it to your advantage. I love you. Be well. Remember that only you are responsible for where you are in life and only you can change it if you're not satisfied.
The one who suffer from PTSD (being bullied, rejected relationship) feel totally related.🙋 But I still believe that being nice is the road to pass down the kindness to create a good cycle of interaction with people. :) Hope all of the one who is reading this remember to be nice to yourself as you treated others so great. And that means you deserved the kindness of what's you've given out. ♥️✨
“If you are honest, people may deceive you. Be honest anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfishness. Be kind anyway. All the good you do today will be forgotten by others tomorrow. Do good anyway.” ― Fredrik Backman, Beartown
Psych2Go like 5 of the signs *sigh* It’s hard nowadays in general tho because obvious reasons but I wish good health and happiness/vibes for everyone in the Psych2go fam!
Thank you for the video! My mom said that i was too nice to people and maybe that was true. A lot of things in this video are related to me. I really thank you for the help and keep up the amazing work! 😁
You are so welcome! Also being too nice isn't completely a bad thing either. Sometimes we need more nice people on this planet because you make a huge difference on others. :)
I love being kind, but as always there’s limit. I’m a giver, I love baking, and then I came across someone demanding, and people who think I was being nice for some kind of gain. This was just at work; but definitely had to put my foot down. Just because you say no or don’t do something someone ask of you, you’re not a mean person.
And when you finally say no or good bye to people they're upset stating you'd now "show your real ugly face". If it's necessary to disappoint some parasitic person in order to be strong enough for those who really need you ... so be it.
Summary 1. You don't know how to say "NO" (0:53) 2. You attract the wrong kinds of people (1:20) 3. Everyone keep asking you for favors (1:45) 4. Some people are suspicious of you (2:16) 5. You're afraid to speak your mind (2:40) 6. You forgive people too easily (3:08) 7. You feel guilty putting yourself first (3:40) 8. You forget to be nice to yourself (4:09) Watch full video to learn more Thank you Psych2Go
"Being too nice can hurt you in a lot of ways you may have not realized." This is so true, I've been used and people around me hurt so many times already. But the thing is, I can't just stop being nice. Though I don't want anyone hurting me again, so I made a facade to make sure people won't go near me. Because of that, my friends now call me a "tsundere."
I always been taken for granted by alot of people for being too nice... until one day, i meet a friend told me that i'm too good but it's okay to say no and not give too much. Thank God i met her! ❤️ I am also happy that i found this channel. i get to know more about my self and many things. Thank you so much Psych2Go! ❤️
Me : love to bring some snacks everytime I gather with my friends Them : you're too nice, you don't have to.. Idk what to say, I mean I'm a caretaking person who can only fullfill my life with giving what the others need
my entire friend group is like this, but all I do to make them more comfortable is make jokes here and there to laugh the stress away for a while. the other thing I always do is try to make them talk about themselves and their problems, they are all great people and never ask for help even when I know they need it.
Yup this is me. Im always felling guilty over putting myself first or saying no. It gets to the point where I bottle up my emotions to the point of braking.
What I do is usually treat people how they treat me, but a lot of them call me jerks for that. Little do they know.... Besides that when I meet someone nice, I treat them how I want to be treated.
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Raise your hand if you’re guilty of this ;)
🙋
✋🏼
*slowly raises my hand* i’m guilty ;-;
🙋🙋🙋
🙋
1. You don't know how to say no
2. You attract the wrong kinds of people
3. Everyone keeps asking you for favors
4. Some people are suspicious of you
5. You're afraid to speak your mind
6. You forgive people too easily
7. You feel guilty putting yourself first
8. You forget to be nice to yourself
Every single one of those is true, being nice is a life style, but not one of choice
oh shoot,
i relate to these-
Pineapple Head thanks hun for saving my time ✨
I relate to all of these, except everyone suspects me, not just friends, family, strangers too, heck i was once told try not to look to shady by an officer..
Thank you ⌛
Encouraging quote for nice ppl:
"Don't give everything to people who give you nothing"
thanks!It really helps
Sooooo truee
Great quote Mr Planet Psych
Thank you! ^^
Sharp!!
I hate answering "No" to questions, because I don't want anyone to feel bad.
same :c
Same
Same...😔✊
Same :c (Unless I dislike the person)
Well, know that saying no can help yourself. It's okay to say no to someone, think about yourself... What if they are pushing you too hard and you still won't refuse? It'll be bad for you. Let people know there are things you won't feel comfortable and if you tell them that, I'm sure they will understand. Of course they will feel bad at certain situations but don't let that bother your so much, you can always help or answer them if it feels right.
The worst moment is that when you're trying to be mean but you're too nice to do so. 😅
@@twilight3304 Same! 🤣
You know what buggs me the most? Is when someone does something mean or disrespectful to you and you are soooooo aware of it or you totally refuse that artitude of him him but you're fucking to nice to stop them at there places you know, who had this kind of thing before?
@@lanalou7878 yes I've been there
@@TheGeektrick peaple are just too mean these days 😢
@@lanalou7878 do you have siblings?
“Don't mistake my kindness for weakness. I am kind to everyone, but when someone is unkind to me, weak is not what you are going to remember about me.”
― Al Capone
That’s a great quote, thanks for sharing it!
Exactly, I almost feel petty for those who, somehow, manage to unlock that heavy dark door
Yep!!!
How can you do that plz ? How to have and make a statement if anyone misstreats you
Best quote.
It so sad nicest people hurt the most but if they mad a little people think they're rude :(
Yessss that's right bcos everyone is accustomed to seeing them be nice so even ordinary behaviour seems rude on them :((
I mean if they were to start blurting out everything then yeah sort of🤣
Exactly when I get mad and put my foot down after I've been so exousted that my only option is to literally run away or say no then I say no cuse running away in the middle of a pandemic ain't gonna do anything. People get mad at me for being "selfish". Then again I grew up Mormon and the whole thing is always put your family first nomader what even if it kills you. And if u do anything for yourself your selfish. That mixed with being an empath in a highly sensitive person is not a good mix
Yes
So true. That’s why I learned to still be myself and be nice but not to expect anything in return. That way I am still being me but it doesn’t negatively effect my well-being as much if something bad does happen because of it
Then the worst part is when you are trying to be mean but you just can’t because you don’t know how to and when you do get mad they think it is a joke and you can’t ever tell anyone your problems because you are the happy kid and everyone can tell up you their problems assuming the their life is terrible
Yeah I've been there before, Whenever I get mad or annoyed..They just assume I was only overreacting or just being dramatic but no..
Yeah....😐
Yeah I feel that, it feels pointless even getting mad after a while cause no one takes it seriously
@@bookenjoyer3970 Some people don't have much sympathy and consideration for others, Some think it's not a big deal or none of their concern so..It's hard to express that feeling towards someone when you feel like they are judging you
#relate
Being too nice is hard.
You don't know how to say no when you need to. People takes you for granted. Thinking other's problems will affect you as well. And not all people deserve second chances. Sometimes, it's better to just forget. I know this because I get bullied and get picked on for being too nice. I always follow my "friends" but they don't even think of me the same way. Now I'm devoured by my depression because I barely have any love left for myself.
Soo true @Joam ! I went through that too..I want you to know and always remember that you should keep moving forward, yes it'll be tough at times. And I know that I'm just a stranger but I believe you will make it through this. Do you believe in you?
Now trust me when i say, time heals everything! It does. But first, you'll need to cut off the "friends" from your life and everything else will fall into place❤
So please take care! You can chat with me here anytime 😊
I totally get this, I’m the same, I’ve been taken advantage of for being too nice and I’ve learned the hard way that not everyone is deserving of the time I give them, at least I’ve learnt now to give some of that time to myself for a change
Totally understand. I’ve always been that nice people pleasing person. I feel like people took such advantage of me and it hurt my feelings. Once I started saying no and standing up for myself the so called friends started to disappear and now I am left with no one. It’s fine I honestly don’t mind. It’s exhausting to always be there for others and not get the same in return.
@@Joyce06 Thank you Jessica. I'll keep your advice in mind🙂
*When this video knows my struggles than my own parents a h a*
Yupp😀💔
Relatable
Mood 😔
Relates...
Right!
They take you for granted. And it’s so frustrating!!
Which point did you relate to the most?
@@Psych2go all of the points... Same all things are exact same as the video
I hate saying "no" because I'm a afraid that people will think bad things about me like : "ugh she's so lazy" or "it's just a small thing why can't she do it for me?".
Definitely._.
Same...they will talk behind my back sHe'S sO nArCisSiStIc ShE's So SeLf-cEnTrEd.. but sometimes their dumba$$e$ are getting finessed by ME! 🌈 I finesse people so that they'll stop getting on my nerves and stfu...
Same. My mom usaly makes it worse tho we recently moved and she didn't get a moving truck so it took weeks to move everything to the new location and it got to the point to where I almost ran away before saying no. When I did stop helping becuse I phisicly and mentally couldent my mom's all mad and saying at least your brother is useful.
It is hard to say no, but remember that declining favours is your right no matter big or small. Someone who judges your worth by what you can do for them without taking your time and wellbeing into consideration is not someone worth your time. True friends/family understand that you have your own life and not expect you to be available 24/7. People come into our lives, but we decide who we want to stay.
Yess
People-pleasing always backfires and is a weakness that can hurt one personally and professionally. Nice is a weakness when you set yourself up to be taken advantage of, you do the lion's share of the work, and you come in early or stay late to compensate for the slackers at the detriment of your own needs.👍
I see! Are you guilty of people-pleasing?
Psych2Go I Am! I’m really trying to improve on it.
That's why I decided to just isolate myself from people so I don't have to say no
Wow that makes me sad how people now think being nice is a weakness. Recently I learned to embrace my snowflake personality. Being nice isn’t a weakness, expecting something in return is a weakness and tbh if you’re expecting something in return are you even really being nice in the first place or are you just doing it because you want something. Not being mean just simply making a point
@@CharIottee I agree with what you said.
I relate to this so much. My mom always say to me that I'm too kind for my own good, she's worried that people will take advantage of me. My friend is helping me to set boundaries for other people who'd control me.
When the whole video explains ur life...
Yep When I was younger
True...
Yupp😀💔
EXACTLY xD
True true UnU
This is SO relatable. It took me forever to break this habit without guilt 💕
Thanks for sharing. How many of these points did you relate to?
How did you do it? I’m trying to break the habit but it’s hard bc i feel mean and selfish
Givers have to set limits because takers rarely do. Do not give everything to people who give you nothing to anyone. Being too nice is dangerous sometimes 🖖
I'm suffering since my childhood anything to get out from it
*8 Struggles of Being too Nice*
1. you don’t know how to say no 0:55
2. you attract the wrong kids of people 1:21
3. everyone keeps asking you for favors 1:48
4. some people are suspicious of you 2:17
5. you’re afraid to speak your mind 2:44
6. you forgive people too easily 3:08
7. you feel guilty putting yourself first 3:42
8. you forget to be nice to yourself 4:10
*thanks for the video! 💛*
Thank you dear ((:
Quaintrelle Q you’re welcome!
“The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.”
― Ernest Hemingway
me currently
I trust people so so so easily. It’s like stranger danger doesn’t go off in my head. I’m this way because I want everyone to feel accepted and heard since I didn’t and still don’t always feel that way. In the end, I always end up with a broken heart. But then I see the next stranger and I do it all again.
yes, thank you for your comment. I think I too am 'compensating' by trying to give to others what was lacking for me. I want others to feel warmth, to feel seen and heard, as this is what I was longing for myself. I know how painful it is to feel invisible, uncared for, and unloved, and so I have 'overcompensated' by overly focusing on others needs and wants, while under-focusing on my own.
Imagine if Psych2Go was too nice answering the comments
Hello, how was your day? :P
Ze bait worked.
Goood...goooood. *strokes white cat in lap*
Better now actually. Thanks for asking and hope everyone is doing well. 😂
I don't belong to people.
But sometimes life makes me feel that I need people.
I'm struggling with where to stand.
To fellow ARMY who made it here as well:
**relates to half of these points** "oh yeah, me... me... me.."
3:30 **is distracted by the RJ sitting in the corner on the bed** "me... OH LOOK ITS RJ! :D"
You have to be nice out of a place of strength not fear. If you can be nice and warm without fearing rejection and conflict. That's genuine kindness that takes courage. Its the difference between a "nice guy/girl" that people walk over and disrespect and a genuine equinimitous kind hearted person.
The art style for this is soooo cute QwQ
Thank you! Would you like to see more of this art style?
@@Psych2go Yesss 😍
I just love the way we're being treated peacefully,, and calm.!
They have sense
I just like their videos, how they relate to people.
Learning to stand your ground is one of the most important skills in life! Finding the balance between taking other's opinions into consideration and your own opinion is crucial. Something that has helped me with this is a lot is practicing my mental clarity, even made a video about it, with english subtitles of course :)
Awesome will check it out
Can definitely see how being nice can be detrimental to your wellbeing 😭😭 It’s imperative to set boundaries!! ✨✊🏻
Are you guilty of any of these points?
when someone told you that you are too nice so you try to fix that and now you think you are to selfish: *aight i'mma go back in time*-
This is so true
I remember when I dated almost all the people that has a crush on me even though I have no feelings for them.
I do all the tasks.
All the pressure comes to me.
When people vent to me I always say "Come by anytime" and when I'm busy I can't turn them down
3:31
I keep seeing BTS related things on Psych2Go, it's sooo cute~ 😆
Hey nice person! If you see this...
This is a sign that it's okay to say no. You have permission to protect your boundaries. Stretch the corners of your mouth up. You are enough. You are worthy. You are loved. Smile.
💗 #DrLizListens
Thanks ❤have a nice day
Thank you 😊 (^w^)
Your local werido exactly, I need to know how to say no also
@@ashkiipo I have a video that guides you step by step how to achieve your goals. You're welcome to check it out. It's called the WOOP Method. Backed by science! =)
@@scribbletin you're welcome to check my WOOP Method video. Step by step how to achieve your goals backed by research so you can start saying no today.
I can't help being nice that I'm immune to being hurt. I'd take the time and patience to improve myself to the point that I will be able to learn that saying no is not a wrong thing, but for now school is somewhat my priority :')
Lol did u c RJ back there🤣🤣3:30
@@ayraahmad715 Me too! So fluffy😊😊😊
@@khristinabangtan9788 and I'm pretty sure that bunny that psy is holding is cooky (//^ v ^\\)♡
They never take you into consideration since "you're okay with everything"!
yes, and really we have to take responsibility for our own 'inauthenticity' when we don't demand respect, reciprocity, consideration of our needs. if we present ourselves as not needing these things, when in fact we do, then we are not being truly honest with ourselves, or others.
When you care for someone more than they deserve you get hurt more than you deserve
when I saw the title I was like, “is one of them bullying cuz I got that...”
How many of these points did you relate to?
Psych2Go all 8...
Yeah I've often been accused of being fake because I'm always friendly, polite, upbeat...I think I am one of the most authentic people I know but now I understand because some people can't achieve my mindset, they can't comprehend how I do, so to them it must be an act. Oh well, my blood type is literally B(e) positive...it's in my veins. 😄😄
It broke my heart and took so much courage for me to say "no" for the first time in recent years, because of my gentle and kind heart. I've always loved helping people and making them smile my whole life, even if there were days where I honestly didn't want to help. It took me years to realize how much self-harm I was indirectly and mentally building up over the years when I was putting my needs/wants second every time due to my kindness.
What I learned: Kindness opens gateways to healthy relationships but know your boundaries of kindness and where to stop if you're being taken advantage of.
Great video! I can relate to every point listed here :)
"you feel pressured to do what is expected of you" (2:54)
Me: Enjoying the video...
Also me: OMG IT'S RJ 🥺💜
Here’s a tip : drop any mean friends before they become toxic and even if that’s your only friend it’s better to be alone then with fake people. If you don’t it will get harder and harder to tell them no. I know it’s hard but dropping someone fake is a gain not a loss and I did this with my fake best friend and I feel a lot better because friends should make you feel good. But don’t worry you won’t be alone forever one day you will find a real friend. If you actually read all this good job 👍 I’ve really needed somewhere to write all this.
That’s good advice & I’ve done this before but, now it’s two years later & I have no friends at all, I think I should’ve just shut up & endured 😔
As a people pleaser, I felt this
OMG I LOVE THIS ART STYLE
IKR 😲😌😏
Thanks! Is this your favorite art style so far?
Yasss xx
@@Psych2go YASS
I'm not a really nice person, but I comfort my classmates. Unfortunately, I've been laughed at and scolded sometimes for "caring too much".
People say to me:
"Your too nice"
Even my best friend told me that because she say me giving/lending stuff to people who dont return stuff but this video is true about me cause I'm too nice...
It's so frustrating trying to be nice. It's really annoying when people treat you bad when you just try to be kind to them
This video really explained my whole life😂
True tho- ❤️
I see! How many of these points did you relate to?
@@Psych2go all😂 especially the sixth one cuz i easily forgive people.
I've gotten better about this in the last year. It's made my life so much better
A friend of mine is a year younger than me, and she lies about people bullying her a lot. She hangs out with a group of girls, I’ve seen them laughing and talking and joking around during class and before lunch break but whenever I’m at school she pushes them away during lunch and recess, ignoring their pleas to have her play with them and lying about how terrible they are, how mean they treat her in class and how everyone just is a b*tch to her. So I sit with her. I talk to her, work out her problems for her and most of all draw for her. I create characters so she has something to think about and she takes an eraser and changes it so much all the flaws are gone along with the story climax and the problem. None of the art and character concepts I’ve done since I’ve met her are original anymore, all the characters are all powerful with no problems and a perfect life. The worst part is, she’s stubborn. Anger issues stubborn. Pick up a chair and yell stubborn. No is not a word in her vocabulary. She wastes her mother’s money mercilessly on presents that I chose only for the sake of making them as cheap as possible, she beats kids up for mispronouncing my name and she’s excessively clingy. I get no more time to myself, my art is no more original than fanart of a TV character, I spend most nights worrying over how to tell her I need my space whilst also figuring out how exactly I’ll need to help her fix a problem the next day, be it my own faults or something she’s made up. I’m losing sleep, guilty because of the presents but torn between self care and empathy over a fake friendship that seemed one sided from the beginning. I feel like I’m being ungrateful because of how much she’s spent on me, while I feel drained because of all the emotional effort this costs. I am not an extroverted person, socialising tires me out fast, and now I’m constantly in the presence of a person who uses me emotionally and tries to fill it with the fake cement of guilt tripped presents. I’m tired, even eating becomes an ongoing social event and solitude, something I used to covet with a familiar luxury is now an almost alien aspect. I’m the oldest child in my family, and my parents are both divorced. Both my mum and dad are doing online courses for university at their respective houses which leaves me practically in full charge of my younger sisters full time. I can’t juggle schoolwork, eating disorders, filling in for my parents and toxic friends along with the trouble sleeping I’ve developed. I desperately need help, and the worst part is I don’t know how I can tell anyone no, because I feel so guilty about how much they’ve given me and how much I owe them. I need to recharge a bit, it’s like a crowd of people are trying to use the same device with no cord or battery or anything. Please help.
Hey there.
That sounds really frustrating and exhausting. No wonder you're upset.
I don't wanna be giving unsolicited advice, but here we go.
First off, I think you're really sweet and wonderful for caring so deeply about those around you :)
However, we should keep in mind, that caring for people doesn't mean that we have to sort out their problems for them or somehow make their life perfect. That is not our responsibility and never should we offer to take that burden.
In every relationship, it is extremely important to have boundaries. That's what helps us to give our best to others, since we are in a better state of mind. Since we know whatever we give, we are giving it freely and with love.
And while it can be sometimes scary to put the boundaries in place, trust me when I tell you, it will bring you peace.
From what I can see, you've done a lot for your friend too. And that comes from a place of concern and fondness. That's what you have contributed to your friendship. And she, in her own way, has contributed to it too. So, you don't owe her anything.
However, if you feel uncomfortable with the gifts, you can say so to her. Maybe give them back to her. Or if not, you could donate them.
You should not have to feel guilty for not wanting to continue this kind of an exchange with your friend. It's absolutely okay to not want to continue this friendship, if you feel like it's been a fake friendship. You're not being mean/rude/selfish/any other negative adjective.
Sometimes, people need to grow on their own and that's alright. And I think your friend needs that right now.
You've been a lovely friend and I'm sure she'll realise that at some point.
Given how the circumstances are, maybe, you could focus on your art. And how you really want to express it. Not how your friend has changed them into.
Focus on your sisters, your health(you're lovely as you are 💜), school and anything that brings you happiness. Maybe you could speak with your parents over sharing of responsibilities for your sisters. It's great that you're helping your parents out, but if it's getting too much, it would be better to talk to them about it.
Sorry for making this too long. Anyhow, whatever happens, I really hope you find some peace.
Please take care and stay safe. Hope this helps in some way.
100% accurate. But I can only add, set the boundaries, but never stop being what is so desperately needed. You live from your heart, and that is absolutely 100% OK and heavily appreciated be those who do, and even those that don't realize it yet/ the haters. Love to all.
I’m very nice introvert
But sometimes a snap...well most likely I won’t but when I snap then it’s not gonna end well
Once I almost lost a friend
Once the teacher ALMOST cried.. (she’s kinda sensitive..)
I feel so guilty
Wow RUclips understands me better than my friends and family
3:31 wait?! Is that RJ from BT21??😯😯
Btw love your videos, they are so helpful and interesting 💟💟💟
I don't know when to not give a second chance because I always feel like I need to "fix the situation" between the person and me, even though I'm usually not the one messing things up. I just feel guilty that what used to be so good is now gone or tarnished by conflict.
3:30
Armies out there!
Look at the behind the bed
That's RJ!
Haha awesome before there was chimmy now RJ someone is a army in psych2go
@@ifrahjama2215 ikr
Another struggle for being too nice is that when you have problems, people tend to look down on it or take it lightly because they think your life is happy and not as crappy as theirs. Being nice isn't equal to not experiencing problems.
I wish I would have a stuff toy of the animated character which has a plant on it's head.It's just so cute🤗
Btw your videos they are so geniune🥰
1.you don't know how to say no✔
2.You attract the wrong kind of people✔
3.Everyone keeps asking you for favours ✔
4 some people are suspicious of you✔
5 you are afraid to speak your mind✔
6 you forgive people too easily✔
7 you feel guilty putting yourself first✔
& finally
8 you forget to be nice to yourself😥✔
This is completely me😥😥
I try to happy anyone & to don't break their mind.But finally they break my mind.😧
"I don't want to be so nice anymore😑😑"
Don't be an emotional care taker and learn to say no when you feel like saying yes.🙏❤️Selfhelpchampion
Just doing some late night research and been making progress. I’m in a strange state of realization that I’ve been so nice my whole life because others around me weren’t. It was a cause of shame for me, so I endeavored to “make up” for the failings of those around me by taking the blame and setting myself up to handle the responsibility. I people pleased on the daily, meanwhile self criticizing myself extremely for any and all presumed offenses I’d make. And my golly I’m trying to unlearn these behaviors. There’s been no reason for me to be acting in these ways; and while I can still take joy and recognize the gifts in me such as compassion, laughter, and lending a helping hand, I can’t be so reckless in believing I can make everyone’s day and save the world. It’s too much for one little guy and I’m one little guy. Collecting burdens is one hobby I’m trying to let go of.
I literally give all classmates my food all my fries even tho i haven't ate yet i haven't had breakfast at that time but ppl wanted my fries so i gave them (also most of them were selfish) not a lot of ppl gave something back to me :(
Ik its hard but we gotta set boundaries
i do that too and i dont know how to stop doing that :(
@@rumeysakinn89 ikr sometimes they say "give me food or were not friends anymore"
I literally wanna punch them but i cant they dont even give a single food to me! :(
You should not give and do without to people who do not care or would not do the same for you. Take care of you because nobody else will.
Nuggets is my LIFE army i feel you:( it’s sad how people literally use us. even tho i’m aware of that i can’t stop it. it’s just who i am.
i love this new are style please keep doing it 🥺
I’ve often been too nice throughout my life.
I realised in time that being too nice was my way of sabotaging myself and manifesting my low self-esteem. Do shadow work, guys, learn how to bite back when you need to!
Oh dear Lord
This is literally my life in a nutshell
*runs and hides*
It's hard being kind in this world.
Not at all. The greatest test of all is to treat the world better than it treats you. Remember that hate is a useless emotion.
I need to stop saying yes to everything .... literally I am overworked and overextended as a result sigh
If you can't say no, start by saying "umm, naw. Naw I'm good." Trust me, the first time it works you will feel relieved
@@epicninja952 yea i feel like its one of those things where i just need to practice
@@SamElle sometimes I have to do a *autible inhale and exhale* "I think im gonna not do that"
Epic Ninja ahhh ok yes yes, I’ll do that, thank you!!!
Since quiet a ong time , was trying to figure out some things regarding myself , this video , really brought out the gist of where all I really need to work on myself , in today's day and age. Thank you .
My friends keep asking me to edit their photos, I'm tired and I can't say no
I see. How come?
It’s so odd that being too nice increases your chances of being hurt, taken advantage of, or being taken for granted.
Hi I just want to know if anyone else feel the same as me cause when ever we have speech or need to read the book out loud at class I get nervous and my beats faster🤷🏻♀️
All of these points fit me!! I don't know why I'm too nice, but it's really taking a toll on my mental health. I feel really bad if I didn't help someone or if I disturbed someone. I hope I could find a way to get rid of my guilt of not helping people all the time. 😔
I'm trying to be way too nice but everyone would just probably ignore me 😂
Learned this the hard way a few years back, started saying no to people and ended up becoming a happier and healthier person :)
Now I have a toxic friend because I couldn't refuse to hang out with her :)
help😭
I
When they betray you but ur so afraid to leave them
help me ;-;
Same, my friend blocked me. And then I wrote a letter to apologise. And then he refused to listen to my messages
Save me ;-;
i got one like that too. it's so hard to be selfish to them because then it would make ourselves the toxic one. but believe me, cut them off. you'll feel like you're losing a part of yourself but trust me, you'll find a better version of yourself without those kind of people in your life.
@@Qilolicious I do agree because I get a Lil grumpy around her and she is always near me so I have various mood swings but now during quarantine I am more myself and I am happier but when I remember that when lock down ends again the same thing would happen but now I am clear and ik what to do thanks :)
This is from childhood conditioning. "Be nice, be lady like" when I would show negative emotion, invalidated. "people dont like that, that's the devil, that's ugly, I dont like that, stop crying"... my reputation was about being nice. I identified as nice. I was a people pleaser. I knew nothing else. Bullied, backstabbed, walked all over... Even by my own family. Led me to all types of abuse by my boyfriend at the time at 15 in my sophomore year of high school. Learned so much about myself and about true love. 17 going on 18 in a few months now and I'm so much higher than I was before. I even learned how to have a healthy romantic relationship with my twin flame. Health in general is one of my top values. I know how to give and take. I have become my number one priority without being too closed off and selfish. I've Learned, unlearned, even going through a spiritual journey. And got real friends I consider to be my soul family. There is still so much more to life and to think I wanted to die at such a young age... Shout out to Tupac because Roses really do grow from concrete. I am living proof. You can do it too. If you dont think nobody believe in you, mf I BELIEVE IN YOU. For real. Everyone can grow, it is your birth right. Everyone can learn, unlearn, wake up, and work to heal their demons. If your demon is named Too Nice like mine is, know that you have the power to tame it and use it to your advantage. I love you. Be well. Remember that only you are responsible for where you are in life and only you can change it if you're not satisfied.
The one who suffer from PTSD (being bullied, rejected relationship) feel totally related.🙋
But I still believe that being nice is the road to pass down the kindness to create a good cycle of interaction with people. :)
Hope all of the one who is reading this remember to be nice to yourself as you treated others so great.
And that means you deserved the kindness of what's you've given out. ♥️✨
❤❤
Omg exactly!!! Thank you and have a good day!🌹
"You owe yourself the love you so freely give to others" ❤
“If you are honest, people may deceive you. Be honest anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfishness. Be kind anyway. All the good you do today will be forgotten by others tomorrow. Do good anyway.”
― Fredrik Backman, Beartown
I love how you post multiple times a day
Yup I knew my ass was too damn nice even for the fam and my friends sometimes a girl need a dang break and let’s be honest....we all do.🤷🏾♀️
How many of these points did you relate to?
Psych2Go like 5 of the signs *sigh*
It’s hard nowadays in general tho because obvious reasons but I wish good health and happiness/vibes for everyone in the Psych2go fam!
Thank you for the video! My mom said that i was too nice to people and maybe that was true. A lot of things in this video are related to me. I really thank you for the help and keep up the amazing work! 😁
You are so welcome! Also being too nice isn't completely a bad thing either. Sometimes we need more nice people on this planet because you make a huge difference on others. :)
@@Psych2go Thank you so much! 🥰
I'm 10 seconds in and I'm already being called out, damn.
Same lol
How many of these struggles to you resonate with ?
@@Psych2go All of them I am scared
I love being kind, but as always there’s limit. I’m a giver, I love baking, and then I came across someone demanding, and people who think I was being nice for some kind of gain.
This was just at work; but definitely had to put my foot down. Just because you say no or don’t do something someone ask of you, you’re not a mean person.
Omg
All of these used to apply to me-
Until I changed because I got sick of being taken advantaged of
And when you finally say no or good bye to people they're upset stating you'd now "show your real ugly face".
If it's necessary to disappoint some parasitic person in order to be strong enough for those who really need you ... so be it.
Summary 1. You don't know how to say "NO" (0:53) 2. You attract the wrong kinds of people (1:20) 3. Everyone keep asking you for favors (1:45) 4. Some people are suspicious of you (2:16) 5. You're afraid to speak your mind (2:40) 6. You forgive people too easily (3:08) 7. You feel guilty putting yourself first (3:40) 8. You forget to be nice to yourself (4:09) Watch full video to learn more Thank you Psych2Go
when a yt channel knows more about me than my own family 💀
"Being too nice can hurt you in a lot of ways you may have not realized."
This is so true, I've been used and people around me hurt so many times already. But the thing is, I can't just stop being nice.
Though I don't want anyone hurting me again, so I made a facade to make sure people won't go near me. Because of that, my friends now call me a "tsundere."
Video: Posted 1 minute ago
Also Video: Has a comment from 13 hours ago
Do people who 'join' get early preview? There must be perks but i don't know specifically
@@ennuiblue4295 yes they do...I clicked on the 'JOIN' over there u can check it yourself
I always been taken for granted by alot of people for being too nice... until one day, i meet a friend told me that i'm too good but it's okay to say no and not give too much. Thank God i met her! ❤️
I am also happy that i found this channel. i get to know more about my self and many things. Thank you so much Psych2Go! ❤️
I looked at the thumbnail and knew damn well the artist was Naphia.
In the past I tend to be scared to say no to others but times changes me and make myself who am I right now
Me : love to bring some snacks everytime I gather with my friends
Them : you're too nice, you don't have to..
Idk what to say, I mean I'm a caretaking person who can only fullfill my life with giving what the others need
Bring the snacks, but leave them in your bag
my entire friend group is like this, but all I do to make them more comfortable is make jokes here and there to laugh the stress away for a while. the other thing I always do is try to make them talk about themselves and their problems, they are all great people and never ask for help even when I know they need it.
1like psych2
Yup this is me. Im always felling guilty over putting myself first or saying no. It gets to the point where I bottle up my emotions to the point of braking.
Amanda Silverr has the most soothing voice. She's the reason I'm still subscribed. The rest are okay.
Once I realized that humans are apex predators, I learned to isolate myself from most people. I use to be “too nice”. Got my a** railroaded for it.
I’m really nice, so when I get angry or serious everyone listens to me and it’s actually really helpful 😄
What I do is usually treat people how they treat me, but a lot of them call me jerks for that. Little do they know....
Besides that when I meet someone nice, I treat them how I want to be treated.