The Curse of Being Too Nice
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- Опубликовано: 21 янв 2024
- It was midnight when Jake left Peter’s house. He was there for 4 hours, listening to Peter’s rant about money, about work, and even about the weather. Peter didn’t stop once to ask Jake how he was doing. Peter just needed to rant. Jake didn’t particularly like it, but Peter was his friend. So he tolerated. You must be nice to people, that’s what his mama always said.
Jake was the first to die, among all of his friends.
In this video, we drive deep on the reason why nice people more common than not die earlier than others. If you are a nice person, you probably need to see how it has affect your life, and let me know in the comment below.
Thank for watching my videos. And remember, just because being nice might harm you one way or another, that's no reason to be a jerk. Cheers
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SOURCES AND MATERIAL
- Findings and materials used in this video are from The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture, by Daniel Maté & Gabor Maté. Get the book here: www.amazon.com/Myth-Normal-Il... (And no, this is not an affiliate link).
- Correlation between niceness and ALS: Mehl T, Jordan B, Zierz S. "Patients with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) are usually nice persons"-How physicians experienced in ALS see the personality characteristics of their patients. Brain Behav. 2016 Nov 10;7(1):e00599. doi: 10.1002/brb3.599. PMID: 28127517; PMCID: PMC5256182.
- On Attachment vs Authenticity: Gillath, O. et al. (2010) ‘Attachment, authenticity, and honesty: Dispositional and experimentally induced security can reduce self- and other-deception.’, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 98(5), pp. 841-855. doi:10.1037/a0019206. 
Кино
To be honest being "nice" doesn't really suck. Being good to others does not mean ignoring personal limits or lacking self-care. In those cases where being "nice" sucks, you're not really being nice, you're just a person with poor social skills and low self-esteem. And this can be overcome and be a person appreciated by others and valued as such.
I see the word "nice" as a forced or manipulative behaviour
But "kind" sounds better, which means to actually *choose* peace, but at the same time being capable of great violence. It's about caring and respecting people around you as much as you do yourself, and giving value to people without expecting the same in return.
Dude being nice sucks 😂 you get run over a lot more times than you would if you were a dickhead. Different people, different personalities, different lifestyles. It's not that black and white but regardless nice people often times have harder lives
You can be nice and kind and still cross the line
Even nick or kind have limit
@@tiglishnobody8750 it's evident that you can hurt people, and they may not even tell you about it
@@endorphineguy So be kind or nice is weakness?
This really helps highlight the difference between nice and kind. Being nice is good, but it can be a surface level way of satisficing those around you. Being kind, however, is a deep and more authentic metric for how to treat others around you. For example, if your friend is an alcoholic and it's ruining their life, the "nice" thing to do would be to smile and tell them they can call you if they need a ride home from the bar. The "kind" thing to do would be to call them out on it and call them to a higher standard, because you care more about their best interest than you do about their feelings. Kindness wins over niceness any day. And kindness is what we're called to. Galatians 5:22-23 ❤
it hurts
One thing I tell myself is the world won’t end if you’re not nice. People can deal it’s fine.
the world wont end if your nice aswell so why not be nice?
you cant always be nice tho
Yess its hard to follow values, you neeed some sort of excuse to escape it
it hurts
This is really the reality of nice people, I myself trying to please others lost myself. Now, I don't really know what i want or want I want to do in life. It's really fucked up
Start doing only those things you feel like doing and build from there 🙂
@@daveo9844 Thanks, It means alot :)
Being nice in a dark world is very hard, most of us could have been dead by now if we let most of this people in this world lead us
I sure won't have that kind of problem of being overly nice since most people find my attitude arrogant, cold and despise me. I hope to keep things that way.
Honestly, that type C personality thing seems a lot like me. I've always wanted others to feel good about themselves. I can't remember the last time I got angry, and whenever someone is mean to me I just smile and nod. I've always gotten praise for it and it's kind of my core philosophy. In a way I think that I've lost my anger and my drive. It's alright though, just venting a bit. Have a nice day!
Yeah, sounds like you're just someone who bullied because you don't know to defend yourself.
Of course people take advantage of you. Because you're weak.
Very great video, I am a Brazilian learning English and I am using your videos to train, keep going
Underrated creator
Truth
It's crazy what a complex system our bodies are, and the more we understand them, the less we understand them.
it hurts
No we don’t lol we definitely understand the body more everyday. Which is why videos like this are made because people learn more. This is the human body not outer space😂 this helps use understand the mind and body more and how they connect 🫏
Being nice is better than being rude
Sometimes it’s necessary to be rude. Esp when someone is rude to you first
There are times when you need to be assertive and/or rude. If not, people will constantly walk over you and cross boundaries/be rude to *you*. If someone is doing something that makes you uncomfortable or asking too much of you or even bullying you, it's okay to be a bit mean in that scenario
Yeah, not talking rude to them , but doing rude things to them@@Datb2
@@Spacebuddy-dm6psbratty behaviors discourage people from getting hostile with you which include both barking and a little biting though, i mean just don’t instantly defiant the moment you interact with a stranger.
@@okipullup3367 Being nice in itself is a survival mechanism as it makes you less of a target for other people
Have scientists found a correlation between being a douchebag and living longer or being healthier?
Oh god. Lol I sure hope not. Then I could justify being a dick as self- care. Lol
You told me not to be nice then here it comes
IT IS PRONOUNCED OFEN NOT OFTTTEN
That's the spirit
@@LazyOwlstand up for yourself! Different accents have different pronunciations
There’s people whose actually gave their opinion out.
Then the rest is just either armchair professor or RUclips’s classic
You deserve way more clicks than you have, for such good videos
Being too nice hurting me badly...but god wants me to stand up.
Loved to see your videos....,❤big fan
I've learned that having self awareness can safe guard you from wrong people, situation, mistakes, and stress/depression.
You can still get depressed from self awareness if you feel like you are powerless to stop yourself from spiraling down even though you know why and you can spot the negative thoughts. oh yea and dissociation. i mean this is what i learned aswell
Thank you lazyowl❤ i'm one of the "afraid to say no" guy...it is so annoying to have behaviour like that but after i watch lazyowl videos even though a little bit but i know what to do now, I love you Lazyowl truly Underrated channel❤
Love your Animations😂❤️
haven't seen the video and its great! now lets see it
too damn great explanation. you are cosmic myan I cant explain it.Hope we meet in the other side of the matrix with infinite sensory consiousness than can roam timelessly in this cosmic horizon.
nice video!
Why nobody talkin bout that bee at 3:06
😂😂
Bee 🐝 nice
aww man this is painful to watch. true and painful.
Nice channel ! Greetings from Poland !
~Humans are wolfs for other humans~ Thomas Carlye
Awesome vid
it hurts
it hurts
it hurts
Yeah true, so don't be nice!
Good n nice r 2 different things
i can confirm my dad is a scientist/president of the usa
There is nice and nice. Being helpful has nothing to do with being liked by everyone. I'm more of a rebellious person. This helpfulness goes so far that I sometimes do illegal things or defend someone/an issue, which often makes me unpopular, in order to improve the circumstances. Maybe nice is the wrong word, more principled and a bit of a "don't give a f.." attitude.
How do you get so little views is a mystery to me. Your content punches waaaay above its weight
Omg 😢😢😢 this is crazy I gotta stop this shit
Whowho, Familyyyyyy
Nononono soo dEvElop dEvEloping continuitys
In Each dEys aming to bE BEtttttttttter and BEtttttttttter benefits thE bEnefits
Nietzsche predicted that.
So people kill either way...
FR me:
Lacking of nonononono SELFSELF carE RESPECT pEsE Real Rightright Naturally independent oll these and sooo
Um , as a medical professional I'm reporting this video. This is not the cause of ALS.
Thank you for your comment! We could have articulated it better to avoid misunderstanding. That said, we did specifically put it as correlation, not causation. This is the finding we used: Mehl T, Jordan B, Zierz S. "Patients with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) are usually nice persons"-How physicians experienced in ALS see the personality characteristics of their patients. Brain Behav. 2016 Nov 10;7(1):e00599. doi: 10.1002/brb3.599. PMID: 28127517; PMCID: PMC5256182.
Karen
I'm really confused about what your definition of being "nice" is. My friends consider me a nice person but I'm quite the opposite of what you describe here. The way you describe being nice sounds kind of like giving other people so much room that you prevent yourself from self expression. Which is also something a quiet asshole could do.
@ 05:45 "pushing yourself down to keep others happy" has nothing to do with niceness
I think what your friend thinks of you is that you’re kind
@@LazyOwl what is the music used at 5:10 called
@@Gabril962 are you asking for the genre or the name of the song? Because it's self-produced music we made for this video
@@LazyOwl oh nvm
Get your before stream or during stream video old ticket here if it's too late you can also get your before a/1 hour or a/1 day or a/1 week or a/1 month or a/1 year video old ticket!
Please don't report me cuz of spam I just want to do this for fun!
That study sounds like bullshit to me
It’s being dishonest about the thing that bother you because you don’t want conflict or are fearful. So you people please EW I HATE THAT
iwh22
Get your before 1 minute or 2 minutes or 5 minutes or 10 minutes or 15 minutes or 20 minutes or 25 minutes or 30 minutes or 35 minutes or 40 minutes or 45 minutes or 50 minutes or 55 minutes or a/1 hour video old ticket here if it's too late you can also get your before a/1 day or a/1 week or a/1 month or a/1 year video old ticket! Please don't report me cuz of spam I just want to do this for fun!
Eh if you want to be nice to people be nice who cares, everyone has a natural limit that they reach/determine on their own. All these type of videos tend to do is push some vey nice people to try too hard to go the opposite end which is being super selfish alienating them from the actual people who actually liked them for their nice/patient personalities in the first place
This guys get eaten alive
Second
First
Skill issue tho :/
You are a predatory stalker
Onlyonly.Estlyyyyyy
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