Cooties (2014) KILL COUNT
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- Опубликовано: 15 июл 2021
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Editors: Bryanna Paperno, Joshua Lyon
Thanks Bry & Josh!
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MUSIC!!
~~Logo/"The Numbers"~~
"U Make Me Feel" by MK2
• U Make Me Feel - MK2
~~Introduction Section~~
"Darkest Child var A" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
creativecommons.org/licenses/b...
• Kevin MacLeod - Darkes...
~~"The Kills"~~
"Slow Shock" by Silent Partner
• Slow Shock - Silent Pa... 
Кино
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I wish
HEY JAMES! COOOOOOOTTIIIIEEEEEESSSSS
Ji
I have been waiting for this for sooooooo long
Dead meat are you excited for the forever purge
I love how Elijah Wood has really ingrained himself in the horror genre since LotRs, he, Daniel Radcliffe and Robert Pattinson have all done a great job of reinventing themselves since their popular franchises from earlier in their career.
True
Indeed.
Exactly
Make more videos Please
Love your videos dude :)
So is nobody gonna talk about how the girl could literally see the black goo in the nugget and still ate it
Or how she even ate school food
Food is food
Idk I eat expired nuggets with maggots all over them at school.
Not too different isit?
Well I am still wondering why the fuck did they kill their own students
Im more interested that they served chicken nuggets for breakfeast
I just realized that the guy that played Sheriff David is both a Golden Chainsaw kill in Brightburn, and Dull Machete kill here. He's won BOTH awards
He was also in Breaking Bad!
@@TheDankNootTF2 really? No shit. Good for him! Hope his career is still landing him awesome roles
@@thedragonmaster1436 why did you say no shit
@@giovanniulloa7054 Guessing they used it as "Oh My God" "Oh Man" or "Wow"
First and only time that's happened on the Kill Count?
"Oh look, carnage" is probably one of my favorite random lines I've heard in a while.
James nailed the Coach look!
hey sin!
Lol
69 likes lol
Hey sin
Oh, hey sin, love your videos man.
“he gets overunned by zombie kids”
*doesn’t get added to the kill count*
*somethings wrong, I can feel it*
The dude did survive though
@@dantelovesbleach Yea, thats why he knew some trick was gonna come in the movie.
@@dantelovesbleach He gives the commentary after watching the movie
becuase he survives
No way Dwight Schrute goes down that easily
The “who is that lady!?” Joke was HILARIOUS already James. No salt in the wound pwease. Lol.
I feel bad and sorry for her
That ooh look carnage line from from the teacher with social anxiety killed me.😂😂
Same name
he says it like it happens at every school in America
@@AlphaPhoenix7959well…
@@Crackheadcentral2188 Yeah my brain was turned off when I wrote that
Imagine doing a kill count of Disney “Soul” it would break the record
They say how many people had died :)
He does horror movies though not Disney movies
@@tonyflamingo8637 yeah thats matpats territory
@@tonyflamingo8637 Your name is very classy, I must say.
Imagine doing star wars episode 4 or 6 space station explosion
9:01 "WHO IS THAT LADY" literally the most funniest line in this movie
Lol
off topic, but i like your pfp!
ye
Made me chuckle!
He played wander in wander over yonder too i think
That 'Cootie shot' from Tamara was actually a pretty sweet moment.
“WHO IS THAT LADY?!”
My favorite line.
And my favorite familiar voice.
Those kids that were absent that day were verrry lucky
@Lucas Sanchez LOL!!!!!😂
@Lucas Sanchez "ah damn!"
Well it still spread across the world
I mean the towns were over run so I don’t think they faired any better.
cue FInal Destination 6
"Oh look! Carnage!"
The best fucking quote
I feel like only Leigh Whannell could’ve done that quote too lol.
favorite line of the movie
I would say that first chance I get when a Zombie Apocalypse began-
When does he say this?
I like that the kids don’t act completely mindless. Patriot has enough cognitive ability to cut the electricity, respond to an alarm from another kid, and let the others is. Also playing with their food.
The rest of the kids: zombies together strong.
Dink and Patriot: look what they need to mimic a fraction of our power.
“So socially inept he has to study small talk.” Same.
introvert check.....sorry
You lying
I feel attacked 🤣
Never have I been so offended by something that describes me perfectly.
Bro you’re lonely that’s so hilarious I forgot to laugh
“I’m sorry little one”
-The Forever Purge
Wait a minute wait a minute didn’t jack mcbrayer play Tom in the odd squad movie I have seen the odd squad movie once on pbs kids
So I'm guessing that movie didn't so good huh?
Night Outs with Meredith are really something.
She took Pam drinking, and here, she took Dwight on a zombie hunt!
She really does know her coworkers.
For anyone curious, the joke in him giving the kids amphetamines and them all falling asleep is that they all then must have adhd. Stimulants interact with your brain chemistry differently if you have adhd and function as a depressant. In school i had a doctors note to give me caffeine if I was a handful and it chilled me tf out.
9:49 the reason i find that joke so funny is because it was improvised, that reaction from Elijah Wood is probably 100% real; he looks _so_ taken off guard and offended. i love it
Elijah has the “Did he just call me a fuckin’ Hobbit?” look on his face, freaking priceless
I would cringe so much...like, we know, Rainn, you dork. "Sneak around like a Hobbit" crashes together both The Office AND Lord of the Rings. Why remind the audience they could be watching 2 better things? 🤣
That joke and "I can totally pass for Harry Potter" in Wilfred the TV Show were so self aware 😂
James: “cooties (2014)”
RUclips: “cooties (2015) take it or leave it”
This is getting out of hand now there are two of them .
Lmao your right 😂
@@TheRealRusDaddy 25 sec ago
@@Duck-zb1uj 1 hour ago
@@Boomerangmonkeymain 14 minutes ago
15:05 But chicken nuggets turning kids into raging zombies checks out? 🤣 James' ability to attempt to tease out logic in a highly illogical situation is awesome
It was actually a fly that infected the nugget
Everyone when dink died: oh my god! You killed a kid!
Calvin: this is fine.
Who else paused on that document to read all the Kill Count requests?
So many good movies on there, the ones I wish were higher are Lost Boys, Wolf Creek and American Werewolf in London
Also my favourite,as the gods will!
I was one of the people who said terminator
I’m so surprised Army of the Dead is number 1, I love that film so much
I want 28 days later and a quiet p lace part 2
I wonder what the color codes mean
As an elementary teacher it really does seem like this movie tried at moments to have a thought provoking premise. While the kids might not literally eat you alive, they will figuratively if you aren’t cut out for the job😅😂
They can smell weakness
@@SupernaturalDetective 😂😭💀
@@SupernaturalDetective this comment gonna be popular within 2 days😂
You know what, I can't argue against that, seen it firsthand😭😂
Also thank you for taking on one of the hardest jobs we have in modern society, you should be given more credit and pay😥
Im happy Elijah Wood was able to climb out of the Frodo hole. He's truly talented and deserves so much more
It’s kinda funny how the voice of wander(from wander over yonder) , a cheetah from the lion guard , and fix it Felix , is in this movie-
Badili in the lion guard was a leopard, but yeah, that's hilarious!
"A character you don't even remember!" James, please, he has a sick van of course we remember him
and he’s played by Hurley from Lost. And isn’t a major disappointment with what they do with his character. Unlike on LOST.
@@cesarvictoriano8072 LOST was far from a disappointment. And Hurley had tons of character, but then again, i have a bias as I was the only one in my house that liked the show. I felt a connection with the characters
@@cesarvictoriano8072 It's really just the Van for me, I want it
@@cesarvictoriano8072 Disagree, Hurley has one of the best arcs and most deserving fates on Lost.
I like how that dude says "Oh look, carnage" as if it's not the first time he's seen this
He is a teacher obviously he seen carnage
One day my dad rented this film from the towns library (yes we can rent films from there). I was about 8 or 9 years old and I thought "okay this might be funny, i'll watch it with my dad." I sat down and when it got to the part where the teacher got ripped apart, I started screaming and crying and had to run into my room. Safe to say I was traumatized for a few months and didn't eat chicken nuggets lmao. A few years later, I see that Elijah Wood is going to a Con that I go to yearly and decided to meet him for his role as Wirt from OTGW. After waiting in line for almost 2 hours, I finally got up to him and told him about my experience with Cooties and how I almost became vegan. He laughed and said "I don't think that was the intention of the film." He was super nice aha
i’d really like to see a sequel for Cooties, one that picks up like straight from where they left off, where they resolve the storylines like the love triangle or finding a cure
“Oh look, carnage.” He said casually
"Just enough blood and death for me to get a sponser"
So my favourite food is sus 🔪🔫
@@TraumatisedShimo 📮📙📔📗📘 THERE IS AN IMPOSTER AMOGUS!!!! MUNGUS!!!!! EHEHEAHAAHAHEHEHEAHEEHEHE
I SAW @@themyofmyVENT!
- Me watching the Venom 2 trailer
When James looks like he's about to tell you his grandma can run faster than you
"AND SHE'S DEAD!"
I had a rough education.
@@leifhelland6313 damn
As a public school student, the zombie and unzombidfied kids are basically how the kids at my my school.
I love how he always decorates and dresses up for each movie
Everyone knows that the only cure to cooties is a “circle, circle, dot, dot; now you’ve got your cooties shot”
Why did I never hear of this
@@phantompenguin1065 either someone you know never got cooties or they never got cured
Oh, I just got smacked with a stick
@@fledthehunter5293 LMFAO
what does cooties mean exactly? lmao im confused
If Gordon Ramsay made a cameo in the movie, the kill count would be almost nil
youre verified so i must like, its a rule
tf I just clicked on another video from lpl, Jesus Christ another comment spammer
"What is that?Cooties?!In my food?You donut!!"
It's fookin RAW, GET OUT!
Actually, it would have a higher kill count than Final Destination, with Gordon roasting everyone left and right.
Can we appreciate how much work he puts in the background of his videos
8:15 i just love how he clotheslines a little kid XD
“‘It’s a comedy!’ And they were like ‘well, we were thinking more of a horror’ and my response was ‘but it’s called ‘Cooties.’’”
He says that but then “The Bye-Bye Man” came out which isn’t classified as a comedy.
It isn't?
Surprisingly not.
Have you seen it? It's not that bad it's a good idea just a bad name.
Not intentionally, no.
@@spicybeantofu It's not good.
“I’ll go aHEAD and count this kill.” James… oh James… I can’t believe I ever stopped watching your content
I know I also stopped watching him I don’t know why
I occasionally watch him when he uploads movies I either know or I’ve heard of
It's more like a bingeable channel. Wait until a buch of videos have been uploaded then splash an evening out on them.
I just came back because of the title. I stopped watching him for a while for no reason at all. I will watch him now.
@@BlaizeTheDragon You either binge watch em now or you don't watch him in months. There is no in between.
Also hey, Fun fact, Jack McBrayer was known for playing other characters such as the engineering Fix-It Felix Jr. from Wreck it Ralph, the nerdy Irving from Phineas and Ferb and, oh yeah! Hoopin' Goofball Wander from Wander over Yonder, holy shit!
3:05 that is the first lunch lady I have ever seen that is gentle when putting the food in the container. Every lunch lady I have just kinda throws it on there and trys to grab as many piece sof food in one scoop so to avoid having to do it a second time.
I'm glad to know that people are actively requesting Hatchet.
Dudeee, I’ve watched all the Hachet movies and I must that if James does the Hachet kill count, it’ll be my favorite kill count of this year. Sadly, he might have to censor everything since Victor is really violent!
I watched all of them with my family and I'm literally begging him to do them. By the third one, James is gonna lose his mind.
Hatchet, you mean the Gary Paulson book that was turned in to a mooooooooviiiiiiiiiiiie
Would love it too, but no way he can post it without being demonetized
I came to say the same thing! It's my favorite!
From the creator of Saw and the creator of glee is a killer tagline, dude.
350 DAMN LIKES AND NO REPLIES? LETS GET THAT UP TO 1
@@theratpriest4111 lool
450 DAMN LIKES AND NO REPLIES? LETS GET THAT UP TO THREE
How bout we get to 4
YESSER
13:25 of course she thinks this is a 2012 style apocalypse, because ironically Tamara’s actress, Morgan Lily also starred in 2012.
They should make a sequel to cooties, I feel like the ending left us on a cliffhanger
*The group goes to Danville
“Hey Ferb, I know what we’re going to do today!”
That's what I was thinking
LoL
no. No. NO. NOOOOOOOOOO!
Cracks a smile then heard perry nervously cluck in the background.
McBrayer was also a part of the “Wreck-It Ralph” movies as Fix-It Felix and the series “Wander Over Yonder” as Wander.
Wreck it Ralph kill count
and 30 rock
he also played a small part in the big bang theory as penny's brother
Oh yeah I totally remember that.
9:29 got me dead
I love how he’s just casually trying to grow grass lmfao 😂
Every time James changes the rules for kills: Your show mate, im just here for the kills
idc if he changes up the rules in videos, i’m just here for the great videos
You like Spyro the Dragon and yugioh it seems, me too
@@kagemushashien8394 that obvious aye?
I feel bad for James in the new purge movie, that’s a lot of body’s to count
Was it a good movie?
@@h3artr3nd3r it’s pretty good not the best of the series but definitely worth a watch
@@peepjones3717 Okay, thank you
How many do u think are there
dont feel bad he makes so much money from this shit
The way that when dink got killed kill by the fire extinguisher celvin was so calm
The kid that decided not to go to school that day must feel real lucky
Most people: "Don't do drugs kids"
Dead Meat: "Don't do drugs kids...unless"
Nice pfp
Nice pfp
Nice pfp
Nice pfp
Nice pfp
Big fan of James’s ‘middle school gym teacher’ fit.
It’s scarily accurate
@@crosseyednarwhal7004 Besides he's not old and creepy looking lol.
I know nobody will see this but we need to give this man credit for doing all this work
I see this (:
FR
I had a somewhat similar dream where me, my mom, and grandpa were stuck in a school overrun with zombies far as I remember, and we all survived. I don’t remember a good lot else besides my dream-version of me maybe running into some other lady who was ali
This feels like an alternative universes version of the Guy Who Doesn’t Like Musicals
It even has its own clivesdale!
Oh for sure
Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em
I hope that and the other Hatchetfield shows get counted some day.
Exactly!
These kids are ruthless, they killed one of the 2 most dangerous bounty hunters in all of New Mexico with no effort!
Badger and who else I couldnt find them
They should send the HECU soldiers into the school lol.
@@aneurysm.865 nice
@@aneurysm.865 "don't shoot! i'm with the student council!"
*gunfire intensifies*
Imagine A Kill Count when they don't give out a dull machete Cause all kills we're great
There's already a few of those
The VVitch
The Shining
This feels like an M rated movie version of one of my favorite childhood books: zombie baseball beatdown
i think you mean rated R because rated M is for video games not movies
If this movie was real, no child in school would eat a green chicken nugget. I seen some kids in school almost throwing up from a slightly burnt corn dog lmao.
Fam as a British kid I just get my bacon sarni from Tesco meal deal innit
@@deadseriousGAME the food of champions
@@ohmygahdbilly 😂
@@deadseriousGAME bro at my school kids would drink “juice”
We called it that became hotdog mustard milk was too long to say
Yeah if I saw that I’d flush it
8:10
“Oh look! Carnage!” Is probably my FAV line from this movie
Madness combat in a nutshell:
Same😂
Same energy as the "children fighting! I can sell this!" line from Gravity Falls lmao
He says so casually lol
somebody better call venom we just found carnage
Something I find clever is that the disease only effects kids who haven’t gone through puberty since cooties was only really something that happened to little kids
thanks for making coodies i have been waiting for so long for this
This has absolutely nothing to do with the kill count but I’d like to say something about James. I’ve been a fan for about 3 or 4 years and I’ve noticed over this time how considerate James is. He doesn’t support problematic creators and is very open about it. He also addresses offensive things in movies he covers very well and maturely. James even includes flashing lights/image trigger warnings. James is a wonderful person and deserves all the support he receives. Love ya.
Does he? He covers horror movies. The only kind of trigger warning he needs to use is one for epilepsy and "this is a horror movie kill count, so if you're squeamish then why the hell are you watching?" Crap like "trigger warning: racist imagery" is pointless and diminishes his content.
Furthermore, who exactly is a problematic creator? For an example, E;R gets called problematic but the man's mostly a shitposter.
@@SirBlackReeds for example the man who created jeepers creepers, that man sexually assaulted a young boy. James does not support him or his work. The trigger warnings are for things like for a example self harm, as someone who has struggled with it immensely I appreciate the warnings and know to mentally prepare myself or to skip forward, it’s so someone doesn’t get upset or damaged by the content being displayed! Hope this helps :)
@@elliereppe9021 couldn't have said it better myself
@@elliereppe9021 just wondering is there any other creators James has talked about not liking? I ask this because I havent seen kill counts in a bit
@@shineeshaymin he said he’ll do it when he dies so maybe there’s a chance:)
*When the gym teacher said "sneak around like a little hobbit" I almost chocked on my lemonade*
chocked
@@WumboMing lmao *choked*
8:11 This is the greatest comedic delivery I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing, and it’s literally just 3 words.
i watched this movie yesterday and honestly i loved it so much im so glad i watch these videos cause it’s given me so many great movies
16:10
Hey, don't diss Danville like that! Sure, there's an evil scientist who tries to take over the Tri-State Area every day, but he's a really nice guy when you get to know him!
Good dad, too!
I thought for a moment the title said "Cuties", and wasn't surprised.
EDIT: The kill counts are the careers of everyone involved in the film, especially the kids.
It should be classed as a horror movie tbf
everyone gangsta till james puts you on the kill count irl
Next kill count : James A Deathnisse
Yep,i made that joke before
As a diabetic, I always wonder if I could survive a horror movie as a diabetic.
My personal favorite zombie movie that I’ve seen! Not only is this movie close to perfect, but the ending REQUIRES a sequel. Anybody watching after this comment is made tell me if you agree 😉
A sequel to cooties would be neat it was one that used to scare me and is pretty damn original and it is also funny and cheesy as well no offense but not my favorite zombie movie but it would be good to see a few or at least one sequel
pretty stoned, and "oh look, carnage" has me dying right now lol
Hell, I'm sober as a priest on Sunday and I thought it was pretty damn hilarious, too.
@@JamesEnsor lmfaoo, clever response man 😂
Important note to please remember that requests are counted *for consideration* whenever James isn’t sure what to cover on the Kill Count and wants to see what people have been asking for. The sheet is *not* meant to be taken as movies that are coming up on the schedule, so please don’t be mad if you don’t see all of these movies being covered next. Thanks, and keep those request emails comin’! 🥳
Dear God, so much this, haha.
@@DeadMeat I love that people are out here to help you out James!
Finally, someone who says that comments get ignored.
We just gonna skip over how this was commented 10 HOURS BEFORE THE VIDOE CAME OUT?
@@dirtiscake4701 *People supporting his Patreon gets early access to videos.*
I love THEESE type of videos! Basically like movies but shorten!
Love this movie! Thanks for covering it James!
The thing about _Cooties_ IMO is that it's a movie I suspect a lot of teachers really love. It's basically a love letter to the profession that's all about the lack of respect they get from society -- from parents, from their bosses, you name it -- and in which they are the heroes saving the day. That's the big thing I noticed watching this, more than the jokes or the kills: it's a movie about how teachers are awesome.
Ignoring the zombies of course lol
I misread the title as 'cuties', and I thought it was gonna be a completely different type of horror.
No dude... no
That will be the first real life kills
"The dull machete for lamest kill goes to me after having to watch this."
@@pesciisthebestcharacter5100 "Golden chainsaw for coolest kill goes to Netflix's credibility after okaying this."
The end got me dying how the demon looking guy said it would be nicer if you were dead then the little girl said alright bye
I live in a small town, and we have a long standing rivalry with a nearby town, so that aspect of the film is realistic and relatable.
when james listed all the small towns that have rivalries well he forgot in danger force swellview has a long standing rivalry with rivalton, in gamer's guide to pretty much everything redwood has a long standing rivalry with yuba and in the ghost and molly mcgee brightington has a rivalry with perfectborg
this is a kinda late, but imo the adderall and ritalin putting the kids to sleep was a really good story effect. Basically for people with adhd, stimulants (like adderall) have a calming effect and even stuff like coffee can make you feel tired. it's a joke about how all the "kids these days" have adhd
As someone with ADHD, and who has taking adderall, it does NOT always work. That shit had me SCREECHING
Yeah it's a really gross ADHD joke that the movie did not need to make.
@@adriannebee2056 I didn't really get the joke either and I have ADHD, So I guess it's like a hit or miss thing. Idk
I feel like every kid with adhd didn't get it, because it doesn't make sense. talking from the perspective of having adhd, thanks folks for invalidating our existence again as if it already doesn't happen enough
@@bearoqueiro8905 I agree with that. I know I have ADHD but a certain somebody in my family says I'm either stupid or just brain-dead, my mom really helps me out.
Ah yes Danville, I’m surprised the zombies aren’t pharmacists
Lots of me! Lots of me!
@@redoranmagic6806 this lyric unlocked a memory I forgot I possessed. I cannot thank you any more
I died laughing at the Danville joke
So what you're trying to say is... there's lots of him?
i’m also surprised there aren’t any evil doctors with large buildings
Sheriff Dave.
Died to a child in a car in cooties.
Died to a child in a car in brightburn.
Give this man a brake.
Request: Could you do a kill count on “Eight legged freaks”? I love how the movie has an odd number of species of spiders situated in a single town.
speaking of spiders @gabrieljvelez-perez9275 how about he does a kill count on that 1990 jeff daniels film Arachnophobia
Holy shit, a Crossed movie test.
God dammit I really don't want to see that comic made into anything live action. The rest of Ennis' work has been improved by their adaptations but I just don't see it happening for Crossed.
This feels like a one shot of the Crossed infection just at a school.
Crossed would never be allowed on TV. Way too much gore and sexual violence and all that
@@ztlabraptor211 A film series though would be SLIGHTLY more likely.
Also, until we get a legit adaptation of Crossed, Cooties and the 2013 remake of The Crazies are the closest we'll ever get.
Cooties: Because of the very darkly comedic tone matching some of the non-Ennis stories...for better or worse depending on how you view Cooties and/or Crossed.
2013 Crazies: Because it features zombie-like infected that are capable of using weapons including firearms, being intelligent enough to set traps if need be, and killing people in sadistic gory fashion. That and the story's bleak tone at times does match the hopelessness of the Crossed universe.
It will get an kinda real life movie, where the People get an Virus and do the most bad things you can imagine. It’s an Taiwanese movie, though has a lot of similarities to the comic, but no 1v1 I would say. I send an link for the trailer, looks promising.
@@madara4665 let's hope this is legit.
Do yu really think that Preacher and The Boys series improved on the comics?! I for sure don't.
Can’t wait for The “Fear Street Trilogy” kill count
I bet golden chainsaw is gonna be the breadslicer kill
I agree. And for part two it will be the decapitated kill
Is he doing it?
@@bigbandit4436 if fear street comes out in blu ray he well most definitely do it. If he doesn't it's bc it's not in blu ray
@@iateyourcheetos9951 Isn't Fear street netflix exclusive?
The gym teacher is Dwight OMG! This was amazing
😊
11:30 that kid was not worried one bit that the pe teacher killed an infected kid lol
"WHO IS THAT LADY!!!" Was gold lol
It got a genuine gut laugh from me. Caught me off guard.
@@BolverkAtlasia 🤣🤣 right
the crossfit the coach too😂
i remember watching this when i was 9, gave me nightmares for weeks, i generally didn’t want to go to school because i was scared i would get cooties and rip my favourite teacher to pieces
Sorry to hear that
LMAO WHY AM I LAUGHINGG 😭😭🤚
It's okay bro it's okay
Okay what is your pfp from
I don't know sorry
Lol as a fellow Detroiter I love how you throw in places from Michigan every now and then in your videos 🙌🏾
I have been waiting for this for soooo long
James really hits the "I'm gonna give you a private lesson after school" vibes
Show us on the doll where they hurt you, Adam
🥴
This is one of the only horror movies that actually grossed me out and made it difficult for me to finish it. But, I did watch it and thought it was ok.
Same here, it wasn’t the best horror/comedy film, but the concept is nasty and it was memorable
Then don't watch Martyrs
Tusk
Great Video! what an awesome cast and funny movie (also at 8:35 Oh No Badger!)