Reacting to Your Asexual Coming Out Stories!
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- Опубликовано: 16 авг 2022
- What's it like to come out as asexual and/or aromantic? We asked you to share your coming out stories, and in this video we explore these experiences and how they relate to larger themes in the a-spec community.
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My name is Elle (they/he/she) and I'm an enby and aro-space ace doing my queer thing here in the internet universe. Join me and let's be gay nerds. I'd really like that. Love you!!
On my God hi! You are literally one of my fave youtubers-
Can I have an LGBTQ+ pin /j that was a bad pun-
Wdym gross
yeah the joke was yk those lgbt pins they have for example if your trans they have pins with so the trans flag on them some people call them badges well I was trying to make a pun but it was also ment as "can you pin this comment" lol
OH MY GOD I GOT PINNED TYSVM AAA-
@@furryempath9619 OML! Luckyyyyy
I came out to my sister by pointing out the word “asexual” on her paper about mitosis, and saying “haha, me” and then leaving
Iconic.
"The only partner I want,
is one in crime."
- Me, 2022
omggg meeee my new year book quote 😂😂🎉🎉
💜
So my ace coming out story went like this. My mom was asking if I had queer friends. Gays, lesbians,bisexuals and trans people mostly. It made me very uncomfortable to have that conversation and I walked faster and she asked “What about you?” “I don’t like anyone.” (This was before I found i was Biromantic) and she said “So you like cats.” And I said “not like that.”
All of my ace friends have cats and love them dearly 😅
@@samconcklin I don’t own a cat but I cat sit and the cats are really cute and fluffy
I love my 2 cats so much and I'm Aroace. I think I'm in a QPR with them and my birds haha! I love them on a deeper(obviously queer) level than your typical person 😅
i added asexual to my bio on twitter and spent like three weeks trying to get my friends to look at my twitter lmao
Once I tried to explain to my mom what asexuality is like. She didn't seem to get how one can not be attracted to other people so I asked her if she'd feel attraction to her female best friend if she wasn't already with my dad, expecting her to say no.................and then she said yes. Oops.
Bi/ace solidarity? 😂
Whoops! Seems you learned something about your mom too. XD
My experience coming out with my parents was super similar! My mom said that I just need to found the right person and suggested I was sexually repressed 💀my dad just ignored it and said it was a phase… it felt really invalidating but the years have passed and I think they’re starting to come to terms with my identity a lot more.
I am panromantic and asexual and I've come out to my parents as pan but not ace, as I'm quite young and I'm scared that they will invalidate it and just assume that I just haven't matured - edit: i am sure about that fact I am ace, as it fits how I feel very well but I'm not sure my parents will understand that
Hello! Thank you for sharing. I hope that if/ when you decide to come out as ace, that it goes well and you feel understood (you can always send them a video of ours if you think they'd be receptive, haha).
@@SpaceyAces ooooh that's a great idea! I often have trouble explaining it and that would eb rlly helpful! tysm
my mom says that she's aromantic (not sure about asexual) so coming out as aroace to her was the most weird and surprising thing ever... like bro what i have a queer mom lol
except i dont think she wants to be labeled as anything prob because of the stereotypes, and just because labeling can become excessive and unnecessary sometimes
anyway ty for making videos like this, we need more a-spec representation in the queer community 🖤💜🤍
I love your new hairstyle! It really brings a lively nature to you
Oookay so this is probably one of the weirdest stories you’ll hear but here we go: I’ve been leaving hints here and there to prepare my family, because they are really uninformed about lgbt+ things in general, but one day my mom was reading the house on the cerulean sea, which I passed to my grandma and then to her, because it’s a great book, nd she started asking about flags and things, and then, because she is like this, we started arguing about how is it possible to be bisexual. Since I am a pan oriented aroace, I thought for a loooong time i was bi, and I’m still pretty much comfortable saying i like both men and women, I just don’t want to have sex with them, so I was pretty offended by the time she was arguing how you can both like a man and a woman, how it is so weird to her that people like this exist, and i pretty much exploded saying I’m a pan oriented aroace, and then the conversation quieted down whitout much of an acknowledgement from any of them (both my mom and my grandma where there, my dad was in another room). Days later I tell them I obviously don’t want to have chidren, because, you know, sex and the like, and my mom just answers that I can’t know, I don’t know anything about life and the world, and since I’ve never loved and or been with someone I can’t understand what being in a relationship means, and that I don’t have enough experience of the world to tell what I want form life, basically. I barely resisted the urge to scream at her that being aroace means that i don’t know what love is, and I actually don’t f******g care!!!
Sorry for the rant, but I’m still not over it and I needed to tell someone. 💜
Nothing to excuse. I am usually not one on the verge of exploding, but this kind of reaction would make it on the wrong side of me.
The thing is: I have to keep coming out to my parents because they somehow always forget that I‘m aro ace? Like, they know I‘m not straight but whenever dating and stuff comes up I have to tell them again and again that I‘m not into that. I have to explain what it means for me to be aro ace every time.
Worse than that are the reactions to me coming out, though. My mom is mostly like you’re young, you‘ll find somebody, I wasn’t interested in dating until I was older blah blah.
My dad, though, went as far as asking if there was anything wrong with my brain and suggesting that I should go to a doctor and get it looked at. You know, in case there’s something wrong with me.
He did it in a tone that implied it was supposed to be funny but it. Was. Not.
Anyway, my sister‘s on the ace spectrum too, so I‘m not alone in this.
Thank you for sharing ace stories in an accessible way! At my college we had like a zillion queer people but only 3-4 ace folks who were out. Two of them are my good friends.
I just stumbled upon this video and I’m happy that I did! Asexuals get left behind in a lot of queer discussions. Y’all are valid, and y’all are great! 🖤💜🤍
I came out yesterday as aroace to a friend and she was so supportive! She said she actually suspected it, told me she's very proud of me for talking about it and asked questions to understand me better. I felt so encouraged and I wish everyone had good experiences like this.
Every time I tried to come out to my family as graysexual they always just told
“oh that’ll change later on”
or
“don’t make stuff up”
or
“you’re so funny”
Or
“you need to put yourself out there”
or
“you’re just insecure and are worried and scared of rejection”
Or
“ you don’t know that“
so ever since I got all those comments I just keep my graysexuality more to myself
I'm literally terrified to come out as demi-aroace to my parents because they're very conservative-
Well, remember to be safe. And obviously you should only come out if you really want to. If you do go ahead with it, good luck! /gen
This channel is lowkey just an online ace (and more obv!) gsa and I love it
So I may or may not have come out to some of my friends (who are all fruity) as not straight (I'm ace and bi but with a huge preference for women) using a Minecraft book...
Oo! May I ask how? Quite curious and was it the legendary Minecraft handbooks or other sort?
@@jimenuse no it was an actual in game Minecraft book
@@libbykenilworth4253 ooh okay heh kinda forgot ingame books >_> but that’s an actual cool way to come out!
I feel so alone. I'm glad I found this channel
Me to
not ace but good lord allos are wildin. this wasnt even a coming out experience but it reminds me of the same mentality. basically: i dont think its anyone's business, family or not, to know if i've "done the deed", or not. i'm bi and that coming out was already a roller coaster, but no way am i sharing details about my s3x life or lack of it with anyone because again its none of their business. anyway i was at a coffee place talking about what career i was considering, and i was honest and said i wanted to teach s3x ed. because of my aforementioned shyness around the topic, it shocked my family members. they started asking really aphobic questions like "how can you teach s3x ed if you've never had s3x???" and i was just. baffled. they know that s3x ed isnt s3x right??? RIGHT???
For me, when i really started to wonder was when I guy I was dating at the time (who is still one of my good friends now) asked me if I thought he was attractive, and I got stuck and did not know how to reply. One part of me recognized that while he might not have been a hunk, he was still visually appealing and super sweet. The other half of me balked because I felt no kind of desire toward him.
It would only be years later, maybe close to ten, before I saw a program on tv that was talking about asexual people. I had known about the concept for many years in some types of animals, but it had never occurred to me that it might exist in humans. It was like a light suddenly went on and I remember crying.
While we were no longer living in the same state, I was back to visit, and I told my ex-boyfriend-back-to-being-friend about that conflict that I'd had back then, and what I'd learned, and I remember he said
"....... that makes a lot of sense."
"I know, right? So many things make so much more sense now!"
mine went a bit more like my mom looking at my search history filled with stuff about asexuality and asking me about it first thing in the morning (not at all the best way but she’s supportive)
My therapist asked if I was Ace. First time I had ever heard of it. High school and family asked if I was gay because romance wasn't high on my priorities. Yeah, I had my attractions. I got a chronic illness and even care less about sex and romance.
Im trying to figure out if I'm aroace, I've read into alot of the information and seen many video (alot from this Chanel so thank you guys) and I think I am since I resonate alot with it and everything about it kinda relates to the feelings I have. But at the same time I have been tolled its porberly because I'm young and that I shouldn't lable myself and it's all just confusing but quite honestly asexuality and aromatic makes sence to me so yeh that's kinda just it. Have a great day anyone who bothered to read this I hope you feel good👍
Well if you're at the age where people usually get 'crushes' and stuff, you're old enough to know. Either way, you don't have to label yourself or lock yourself into a box, as long as you're comfortable being you! I personally just use labels as an easy explanation and to find people who feel similar. I wish you luck on your discovery journey!
@@shibadawn Thank you so much this helps alot! Have a great day😁
This is honestly exactly how I feel and how I've felt for years. You are definitely not alone! I can definitely relate to the fear of being invalidated for being young/inexperienced. Although I am now in my 20's so not that young anymore, but I've been debating with myself whether I'm aro/ace since 7th or 8th grade (not that I even knew the term back then but still)
I like your hair! Can you please do a tutorial on how you got your hair so curly? :0 If not then that's ok :)
Hi! Thank you! I would love to do a hair tutorial, though I'm not sure how interesting it would be.
Ilove the idea of reacting to coming out stories! There's always some really intresting ones 😊 also daaamn if your earrings end on your shoulders they're big! I mean don't get me wrong they're really cute but definitely quite the size😆😅
This is my plan.
On national coming out day (next month) I'll leave a note on my parents bed and explain it and I know they are supportive, they volunteered at our local pride recently and they use my friends pronouns. (They are gender fluid)
I'm coming out as aro ace. I really hope they accept me
And I think I'll ask them if I can have the flags in my room
Edit
AHHH I sent the message
I don't remember how I came out as A-romantic, but I do remember when I figured out I was A-sexual. I then sent a long winded paragraph to my family discord explaining exactly what it meant to be A-sexual and that it turns out that's what I was. My dad encouraged me not to define myself by labels, but everybody was fine with my identity in my immediate family.
I appreciate the mention about the importance of aromantic and asexual representation! I'm not aro (I'm not really ace either but I'm also not completely allo but the label gray ace doesn't really fit either, I'm still figuring it out) but my best friend is aro and I started to notice that there's like, no representation for aro people ever. I'm making a story that I'm going to turn into a comic one day, and the main character is aro and I hope I can help some aromantic people feel more seen, and also some allo people understand it better!
Elle: "That sentence got away from me for a bit."
Sally Sparrow: "Started well, that sentence."
The Doctor: "It...got away from me, yeah..."
I'll never forget when I came out to my cousin. It was some story, I was trying to tell her, and then I had to come out because it makes a big component of the story. And it went down as,
Me: Okay, just to clear things up... I'm asexual.
My cousin: *smiles* I know, aaaaand... *waiting for my response*
Me: *panics* What!? How!? How did you figured that out?
Cousin: You don't talk about it. I mean you do, but not in that way.
Me: Ahhhh, okay.
I love your jellycat bundle back there, so cute ❤
Demisexual here. Came out to my queer brother. He said, no youre not asexual you have kids. And never spoke of it again.
Ohhh! I have a funny one! I accidentally came out to my mom in the funniest Most ace way possibel? Me and my twin sister! Okay so we made garlic bread with my mom and then when we finished the Ones we had on the tabel my sister went to the kitchen to get more,and when she came back she held the garlic bread like a waiter upp in the air and proclaimed "Garlic bread! The Pride of the asexual comunity!"
And then mom said "Are you a member of That comunity?" possibly we are still figuring this out" then I said "this is not how I thought I was going to come out but okay" And then we had a fun conversation about it while eating garlic bread. The only thing is my mom youre a bit young'd ( she told also told me that when the was my age she alredy did it so,come on mom!) me she did not mean it in a bad way and I just thougth it was a bit funny because of all the memes about it I have seen
I honestly don't know if my parents know I'm aro ace. I have both the aro and ace flags on full display in my room, they know I went to pride festivals, and I sometimes make a remark like "yeah, I don't really care about dating" or something like that, yet we never really had that conversation and it all seems to go over their heads. I suppose it's a good thing their not overly nosy but I'm just curious how much do they actually know
I'd love to see a second part! ^^💕
Thanks for letting me know!
Hm for my coming out story isn’t really much heck I can’t exactly recall the first time I officially came out or even made a post besides a Loveless review on my art account. I just casually posted some ace memes or posts on my private Insta story. It was just slowly realization that I am asexual for them. I mainly have talked about questioning with my brother who helped me out which honestly thanks. So ye! I didn’t got any friends or siblings come up to me or texted me any aphobia so I was accepted. :)
lets go aces lets go!!!! 🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜
I came out just a few days ago to a friend throgh whom I learned there is an ace spectrum. He is ace hm self. I just said: I need to guve you a huge thank you. And he was like: For what? Me: For telling me there is something like asexuality... So many things in my life make much more sence now.
It was wondefull.
I showed my mom a video of ace people sharing their experiences, and she kept saying "isn't amazing they can live without needing to bond with people" and even though it wasn't necessarily wrong, it still made me feel really weird.
11:02 yup im making a show and i planned to do this😊
I KiNdA came out in one of my videos on my gacha RUclips channel, i was making a character from Pinterest and it said to make the color of the hair unnatural if you are aroace so i did and my friend watched but she didn’t mention it so idk if she noticed 😂
I had my ace comming out yesterday,it was just in my instagram story cause my followers are all LGBTQ+ friendly and my family is not on instagram.It was like a little training for the actual comming out to the people around me in real life.I hope I will be brave enough.I know my parents.They....would be mean about it but disowning me or shaming me is the least thing they would do.So yeah...I am still afraid to ever out myself to my mum cause Ik she would support me but...she would out my behind my back to random coworkers,she will ask uncomfortable questions,she will tell me I am just confused and that asexuality doesn't exsist or that the internet brainwashed me to think so,so yeah....even tho I am not in danger.I don't wanna experience that.
nice video!
I already came our as queer and now I'm out of shits. So I just said "did you know this was a thing?"
can we have a part 2? i love this :)
For sure! Thanks for watching.
Your hair is lovely :)
Thank you!
I came out simply to my dad the other day just a text I’m asexual and a screenshot of what it means bc I’m not the best at explaining
Definitely a good way to convey the message. 🧡
I'm not quite sure how to know if I'm aroace I believe myself to be oriented aroace but I always feel I should wait till I'm old enough to know for sure, like maybe I'm scared or there's something only time can tell me (I'd really appreciate advice).
So I hope this is encouraging rather than discouraging, but I just wanted to say that I'm in my mid-twenties and I still feel the same way, I have for a decade since the people around me in school started having crushes and bfs/gfs. I'm still not sure 100% that I'm aroace and I still think only time will tell even though its literally been 10 years since I first realized I was different. I hope this encourages you that you're not alone in this confusion rather than discourages you that it seems like time actually won't tell
@@adidi7789 Thanks!
amazing vidoe i enjoy cool pretty s
Glad you enjoyed!
What is that show sex education about? Bc I find sex very awkward
It is about a large cast of high schoolers in the UK; Otis is the main character and he has felt uncomfortable with the concept of sex and masturbation. However, his mom, Jean, is a sex therapist running out of their family home. Otis teams up with school outcast Maeve to run an informal “sex clinic” for their fellow schoolmates whose sexual literacy is astoundingly poor. Maeve does it for the extra cash because she is living alone trying to support herself through poverty, and Otis ultimately agrees because he has a crush on Maeve.
All this to say, it’s not actually all about this plot line, and the show is kind of campy and fun, but also handles more serious issues (associated with gender, sexuality, religion, consent, poverty, race, adoption, family, abuse, SA, reproductive health, abortion, dysphoria, mental health struggles, family illness, disability, bullying, etc) beautifully, and without any sense of being forced. The sex depicted is deliberately “over the top” (which I know makes it less awkward for me to watch, funnily enough, can’t say for anyone else).
Anyways, sorry for the long-winded answer. I could just go on forever about how much I love this show. ❤️
this is interesting I'm strait but I didn't know Asexual was considered being queer. I don't know much about asexuality but if its true that asexual person doesn't need sex then I wouldn't mind being like if not for the acceptance problems it entails. I'm sorry if what I'm about to say is in any way offensive because I don't intend it that way. But is it possible for someone to be almost Asexual like you need sex very rarely. I don't know if asexual man has lower testosterone or not because if not then being almost asexual with high levels of testosterone nonetheless that sounds interesting.
Hi! Some asexual people consider themselves to be queer, others don’t. I personally do, and I think regardless of how someone identifies individually, aces are part of the queer/LGBTQ+ community.
I’ll also note that libido and attraction are different. So an asexual person who does not feel attracted to others may still have a libido/ the physical or hormonal drive for sex. Similarly, an asexual person can have sex. People with low libidos (hormones) can still feel attracted to others. So it’s possible to be disinterested in sex/ have a low libido without being asexual at all. Hope this makes sense! 💜
I’m ace to and other than finding it gross and weird idk why I don’t like it if I haven’t tried it I may be aromatic to not sure
Woah, you hate TikTok? Have you tried it - JK, don't shoot. Glad most of these experiences were (or became eventually) positive. Were there any negative ones, such as bullying or overreacting? I hope not, but humanity is a long way from just letting ppl live their authentic truth.
Being on a spectrum, versus binary, doesn't make you less valid. You don't have to "pick a team" or suppress (some aspects of) your identity -- unless you're closeted, in which case you are still totally valid even though you're living a lie to some extent.
What’s that snoring?
Child is a period in human life. There's none business with the preference or sexuality.
I came out to my grandpa 2 years ago. I made a letter to tell him about sex and the horrible outcomes, telling him that I always love him, and of me coming out. I gave it to one of his step-son’s and told him to give it to him.
He knocked on my door with a smile and thanked me. Before hugging me. And it was also the first time I ever heard him cry. He told me that he was so proud that I came out. We even cried together in our arms. He even told his wife about my letter. 😊🖤🩶🤍💜
I'm just commenting so the RUclips overlords will smile on you. I don't know what to say. 🤷🖤🤍💜
my pronouns are she/he oh wait😂
I appreciate this comment very much. 💜
Ty for doing this stuff it cheers me up. :) 🖤🤍💜