just because a label no longer suits you doesn't mean it was invalid or you were lying it means you discovered something new about yourself that you didn't know before
I feel like aces suffer the same kind of (sometimes accidental?) erasure/oppression coming from ignorance that bi and pan people face, which would be the "oh, you're dating, so you're no longer ace!" (while bi/pan people hear the "oh you're dating someone of the opposite gender, so you're no longer gay!"). This is why we end up having to get political about our identity and knowing how to defend it.
I'm 57 and I'm still not 100% sure where I fall on the ace spectrum... I call myself "potentially" demisexual, but until that actually occurs I'm just plain old ace...
It was so great watching you talk about your own experiences as an ace person. I’m on the Ace-Spectrum and I still haven’t figured out which specific identity I feel most comfortable in. I feel sexual attraction but I feel sex repulsed when I think of myself partaking in sex.
I'm ace spike. I'm asexual but I'm bipolar so I experience hyper sexuality when I'm unwell. Living between these extremes has been very stressful. And confusing. Sex is 'healthy' but not for me. My ex partner suggested to me that I might be asexual and now researching a bit myself it definitely explains my experience. Thanks to your videos I discovered the idea of queerplatonic relationships. I really think this may be a safer option for me. I don't have to make myself sick to show my partner I love them.
hello! I have borderline personality disorder/BPD and a very similar experience to yours. it's nice to know I'm not alone in that struggle, as I haven't seen many people with a similar experience before. I can agree that living with the extremes is very stressful and difficult, and before I found the label asexual I was really confused. asexuality is a spectrum and I'm glad you found something that's safe and healthy for you :)
Thank you for this video, I have watched this video before, but seeing your reaction was really nice. I agree with the fact that people in the ace/aro community are often well-informed on queer topics, and I find that fact quite sad given that it's often because we as a community are usually having to constantly explain things and break stigmas. And an issue I have with that, is the constant expectation I feel to justify myself and my identity to others and even myself. But I'm happy to at least follow this channel for amazing content so thx again (sry for the rant) :)
im still trying to figure out my sexuality (aroace? demi?? pan?? aroflux aceflux akahfkshak IDKKKK) and i always feel comfy and validated when watching ur vids bc theres not a ton of ace/aro content out there thanks for making great ace content!!
I like what you said about how you can experience things outside of what your label typically covers. I’ve been wondering about that myself and assumed I wasn’t ace because I experienced certain things that I thought didn’t align with asexuality. Thank you for the clarification❤
I like so much this video, I'm demissexual and gray-aro, and my relationship with this labels aren't like "this label is all I'm and will be", I see more like "this is a word that I use to look for people who are similar to me or have some similarities", so for me labels are comfortable because it's like a way to have a "place" where I can be with people that have something similar to me, but different experiences with this, it's reassuring.
I'm actually proud to be ace. I'm romantically attracted to guys, but I don't want to do a lot of intimate things. There are things I would do, but I'm not gonna get into the details. No one gets it, but idc. I know who I am and that's good enough for me 🖤🤍💜
Its awesome that you brought up the point that experiences don't necessarily contradict any identity label. I've like, kept track of how many times I've experienced sexual attraction and every time I put down another tick mark I feel like my asexuality becomes less valid, to the point where I've stopped identifying as gray ace and now I'm just kind of like, the least allo bisexual person but the most allo gray ace person, but you saying that point makes me feel like it's fine no matter what label I use.
While the term demisexual does describe a big part of how I experience attraction, I don't feel comfortable under the asexual umbrella. Could it also be cause of the autism or am I just this weird?
You are not weird, this just how you feel and that's valid. I'm sure you can find people that can figure out with you, where those contradictions come from or you can figure it out yourself!
@@kanalkucker14 thanks, but not likely. So far I haven't even come close to having an intimate relationship. I was diagnosed with autism almost a year ago (31), and since then I've been finding that my body language and emotions are sort of wired wrong. Also percieve charisma from others as aggression. And just started HRT a month ago, when already balding. I'm so ignorant of what to do in many of the steps involved, that I'm scared to even try anymore. So I'm affraid my sexuality will remain a purely theoretical field.
i feel more comfortable with gray romantic and gray sexual terms since they are more vague. Demisexuals still feel sexual attraction so they may feel closer to gray sexuals because of this. You feeling this way doesnt necessarily mean that its because of autism. But i dont have autism so i cant speak about it. But no matter what you feel or what you are comfortable with its okay. I dont think its weird.
just because a label no longer suits you doesn't mean it was invalid or you were lying it means you discovered something new about yourself that you didn't know before
Wow, that is such a great way of putting it! Thanks for sharing!
@@wemadeyouasweaterlee you're welcome
Thank you
I feel like aces suffer the same kind of (sometimes accidental?) erasure/oppression coming from ignorance that bi and pan people face, which would be the "oh, you're dating, so you're no longer ace!" (while bi/pan people hear the "oh you're dating someone of the opposite gender, so you're no longer gay!"). This is why we end up having to get political about our identity and knowing how to defend it.
I'm 57 and I'm still not 100% sure where I fall on the ace spectrum... I call myself "potentially" demisexual, but until that actually occurs I'm just plain old ace...
Hello. I’m asexual and autistic. Thank you for another great video.
As am I.
Same!! Adhd, Autistic _and_ grey-aro/grey-ace. 😊
That's awesome! Me too :)
It was so great watching you talk about your own experiences as an ace person. I’m on the Ace-Spectrum and I still haven’t figured out which specific identity I feel most comfortable in. I feel sexual attraction but I feel sex repulsed when I think of myself partaking in sex.
I'm ace spike. I'm asexual but I'm bipolar so I experience hyper sexuality when I'm unwell. Living between these extremes has been very stressful. And confusing. Sex is 'healthy' but not for me.
My ex partner suggested to me that I might be asexual and now researching a bit myself it definitely explains my experience.
Thanks to your videos I discovered the idea of queerplatonic relationships. I really think this may be a safer option for me. I don't have to make myself sick to show my partner I love them.
hello! I have borderline personality disorder/BPD and a very similar experience to yours. it's nice to know I'm not alone in that struggle, as I haven't seen many people with a similar experience before. I can agree that living with the extremes is very stressful and difficult, and before I found the label asexual I was really confused. asexuality is a spectrum and I'm glad you found something that's safe and healthy for you :)
Thank you for this video, I have watched this video before, but seeing your reaction was really nice. I agree with the fact that people in the ace/aro community are often well-informed on queer topics, and I find that fact quite sad given that it's often because we as a community are usually having to constantly explain things and break stigmas. And an issue I have with that, is the constant expectation I feel to justify myself and my identity to others and even myself. But I'm happy to at least follow this channel for amazing content so thx again (sry for the rant)
:)
I'm new to your channel but so far been loving the comfy vibes here, also definitely learnt a lot more about myself as a fellow a-spec enby o/
This is such a good video, I’ve been questioning my sexuality lately and I feel I that I’m somewhere on the ace spec so thanks for the video❤
im still trying to figure out my sexuality (aroace? demi?? pan?? aroflux aceflux akahfkshak IDKKKK) and i always feel comfy and validated when watching ur vids bc theres not a ton of ace/aro content out there
thanks for making great ace content!!
I like what you said about how you can experience things outside of what your label typically covers. I’ve been wondering about that myself and assumed I wasn’t ace because I experienced certain things that I thought didn’t align with asexuality. Thank you for the clarification❤
I like so much this video, I'm demissexual and gray-aro, and my relationship with this labels aren't like "this label is all I'm and will be", I see more like "this is a word that I use to look for people who are similar to me or have some similarities", so for me labels are comfortable because it's like a way to have a "place" where I can be with people that have something similar to me, but different experiences with this, it's reassuring.
I'm actually proud to be ace. I'm romantically attracted to guys, but I don't want to do a lot of intimate things. There are things I would do, but I'm not gonna get into the details. No one gets it, but idc. I know who I am and that's good enough for me 🖤🤍💜
No need to get into details, unless you want to!
5:43 it's just like: you do you, just don't do me
Its awesome that you brought up the point that experiences don't necessarily contradict any identity label. I've like, kept track of how many times I've experienced sexual attraction and every time I put down another tick mark I feel like my asexuality becomes less valid, to the point where I've stopped identifying as gray ace and now I'm just kind of like, the least allo bisexual person but the most allo gray ace person, but you saying that point makes me feel like it's fine no matter what label I use.
Thank you for another interesting video. And happy 2023!
Happy new year!
i think my ex was greysexual and greyromantic. we dated for 9 months and broke up yesterday...
i hope you feel better soon! take care of yourself :]
@@thesoupbird thank you
amazing vidoe i enjoy cool pretty stunning queen cool haircolor
While the term demisexual does describe a big part of how I experience attraction, I don't feel comfortable under the asexual umbrella.
Could it also be cause of the autism or am I just this weird?
You are not weird, this just how you feel and that's valid. I'm sure you can find people that can figure out with you, where those contradictions come from or you can figure it out yourself!
@@kanalkucker14 thanks, but not likely.
So far I haven't even come close to having an intimate relationship.
I was diagnosed with autism almost a year ago (31), and since then I've been finding that my body language and emotions are sort of wired wrong.
Also percieve charisma from others as aggression.
And just started HRT a month ago, when already balding.
I'm so ignorant of what to do in many of the steps involved, that I'm scared to even try anymore.
So I'm affraid my sexuality will remain a purely theoretical field.
i feel more comfortable with gray romantic and gray sexual terms since they are more vague. Demisexuals still feel sexual attraction so they may feel closer to gray sexuals because of this. You feeling this way doesnt necessarily mean that its because of autism. But i dont have autism so i cant speak about it. But no matter what you feel or what you are comfortable with its okay. I dont think its weird.
Nice video, as always!
Glad you enjoyed!