My mom taught me as a young kid....When your friends have a boyfriend or husband, you don't need to be at her house everyday. Stuck with me to this day.
I remember in high school my best friend’s uncle told us girls that “look, no man or boy is going to be “your friend” unless he’s attracted to you in some way.” Tony is 1000% right about this.
Always trust your gut. You’re watching certain body language & notice certain eye contact etc put it in your back pocket & say nothing, hold it down. Then the next situation analyse the reactions of the friends on the receiving end because it’s not always both ways.
I never had a desire to have male friends. I don’t understand why you need friends of the opposite sex. I feel like when you get in a relationship/ marriage, friends of the opposite is inappropriate to me.
...another thing I don’t play about is the fake “brother/sister” etc. If you aren’t blood related, then eventually that “brother/sister” turns into a sexual relationship.
This is the truth. My step brother tried to date me and our parents have been married for 8 years. It was crazy. He didn’t think that it was inappropriate because we aren’t blood related, but I did.
Me ex slept with his best friend before we got into a relationship (I’m sure it may have been during) and he had this girl around me smiling in my face, and they were wayyyyyy too close for my liking. He lied and said they never did anything. I’m never getting with a man with a “female best friend”
Same here. My ex sons father had a boo bf and she was always silent when I was listening on the phone but never wud speak when I was listening to their call on speaker when he called her....sneaky n untrustworthy on both
He must have worked for Amazon, cause he is a Prime example! And besides this, once you do the deed, you can no longer be "just friends". Cut them off completely.
The only female "friend" I saw my father make turned into an affair. This was after probably 20 years of being faithful. So this is very serious and Tony is right about how our minds work.
I've learned not to play these opposite sex friend games. Had a male associate (who is married) complain to me about his marital problems and his wife. I said "Hey, have you heard of this man named Tony Gaskins?" and sent him a link to purchase Make It Work 😅. He never brought up the topic again!
Nope not at all, I thought I was the only one that felt this way, I'm having this issue now with my boyfriend of 7yrs, he gets mad at me and we argue when I bring this up about his single female friend that calls and texts every week, they were friends back when they were younger and he says it strictly friends, I tried to explain to him the principle of this and he just thinks I'm jealous, says to me that I just don't want him to have any friends, and says she was there for me way before I met you etc. I even showed him this video but still he does not get my point
I wish my bf said the same , all my male friend fancy me but kept them because i have no female friend where i moved, ive been 100 and told him that even tho they respect me they wish me as their gf . Im willing to cut them off but hes not willing to cut female "friend" that " he speaks to every month" and dont really speaks out bout my male friend witch i dont like i like a territorial man keep your man hes a diamond
In my younger days, I had a lot of guy friends but they all ended out admitting later they were never looking at me like a friend :/ one of my boyfriends told me not to be so naive to think that any man truly is trying to be just "friends" with any woman
Any male "friend" I've had has showed interest while they or me were both single and in a relationship. I stopped being friends w/ men b/c they don't actually care, they're just waiting to smash. I've tested it by flirting - they'll talk all day but once I stop flirting, I don't hear from them for a while. I grew up and out of that.
I think it's because how society has programmed the friendship phase into relationships. Now in days I've learned to make my intentions known to women. If I like her, I give it 3 weeks and after that if it's rejection that's fine I've learned to move on. But no more stale Friendships and she knows I like her. It's time out for a passive attitude. I can still be a respectful man and brother without being a jerk.
It’s truly sad and I seen women on Facebook boosting about being “friends” with men who are involved with someone and saying the woman who has a problem with their friendship are insecure and jealous. Well yeah men or women having opposite sex friendships can trigger unnecessary insecurity and jealousy. It should never be you vs your partner. It’s supposed to be y’all against the temptation of the world.
Thats a fact! I try to tell people just cause I don't label a woman as a friend doesn't mean I don't love and respect them. I want to keep my self emotionally available my future spouse and be comfortable in being alone. Friends=soul ties.
It happen to me. My ex had a female friend, she came to our birthday parties, bringing her husband, everything and still they slept together. Tony you not lieing... I've experienced it.
Your ex obviously wanted to cheat. Everything would have been fine if they kept it to meeting together in groups or a dinner with you there etc. and you become mutual friends. Obviously they decided to meet alone and be involved in an affair (this could have happened with a waitress he met at lunch, some lady at work, etc.) The only way to avoid all chances of infidelity (especially for those who are not very serious about their vows) is to be totally in a society that completely separates the sexes (I.e. Saudi Arabia or Afghanistan). Truthfully, it seems like that this does not work because it seems many of the men there actually end up more sexually obsessed (also seems women are in more danger assault, etc.).
@@fancydani too sad! And it's so sad because the whole time you think, wow it's so nice to have a genuine platonic male friend. My father taught me that men will wait a long time just to get what they want out of you.
This is true. There was a point in time where I had a LOT of male friends, which, to me, were just platonic... but when I look back on it, there has not been one - not even ONE!! - who hasn’t tried me! This man is speaking FACTS!
This is so true!!!! After my husband passed away men that I’ve know for 10 plus years came out of know where trying to shoot their shot!!! I said to myself omg they will wait for years and years until an opportunity presents its self!!! That’s when I really learned and understood that everyone doesn’t always have pure intentions ,everyone has a motive good or bad!!
Yes, i have a friend we knew each other over 20+ years and he finally came out telling me he had a crush on me and was telling me things about my older sister and him in the past. I was so in shock and would not talk to him for over a year.
Trusting that he was a good man, I am sorry for your loss. But yess!! They will lie in wait for the opportune time. Especially being that you were in a vulnerable state. Some men will take advantage, nom matter the situation. Just trifling.
I am sorry for your loss. They asked after your husband passed. They weren't trying to date a married woman. They weren't disrespectful. Did you feel disrespected?
@@purplepheasant4776 I agree. Depends on the amount of time that has passed (if they ask right away I would feel a lack of respect). But could not their be a connection formed because there was love for the same person (it really depends on the person - it could be very disrespectful or just fine).
I’m white. And I agree there is a difference. But yes, friends with the opposite sex is a complete distraction from what u are trying to build with your partner. It’s so important for one on one, to be one on one. Take care. Also, y would u even want to make ur partner uncomfortable like that?
Friendly relations between men and women are possible. According to Professor Sandra Faulkner of Bowling Green University, it is nonsense that men and women cannot be friends. “It's all part of a heteronormative script,” she explains. "If you go from that script, every time you think of a man and a woman being together, you would assume it's in a romantic setting. That's because of that script. But a lot of us don't go that way." one script." Faulkner is an expert on gender and sexuality. She explains that the idea behind that script can be traced back to the idea that a heterosexual relationship between a man and a woman is the highest form of social interaction. "It's based on the assumption that everyone is heterosexual; that romantic relationships are more important than your other relationships. It's a cult idea of romance - the idea that a romantic relationship is all you need." But in real life, a relationship with someone doesn't have to be that way. A sincere and long-lasting friendship between a man and a woman can transcend a romantic relationship. "One of the reasons we think men and women can't be friends is because we're taught to look for romantic opportunities within our friend groups. Then we return to Faulkner's cult idea of (heterosexual) romance. "Certainly for women," Faulkner argues, "there is an image that you necessarily have to have a romantic relationship. Pop culture confirms that image." For example, through a show such as Friends, in which the main characters have relationships with each other. But if you start looking for loved ones mainly within your group of friends, it often ends up being just as wonderful as script writers would like you to believe. "A year and a half ago I had a relationship with a good friend of mine," Tim says. “That became a fucking nightmare and it was extremely difficult to get over.”
My brother is truly on a mission for God because even though he repeats himself in numerous videos he still answers the same questions. This has to be draining so I KNOW this is Gods work, there’s no way! I’m so grateful for our brother.
This video is definitely not for the faint of heart because a lot of people have "friends"/orbiters for their ego. Pure, honest truth that most people won't want to hear but which will bless the lives of those who do heed its wisdom.
The Lint Brush TOOL! 😂🤣😂😂 when he lifts that... I’m creasing up! In the uk 🇬🇧😂🤣 when he’s saying friend going in bathroom! 😂🤣 He’s the male friend we need... telling us how it is! Real Talk! Love TONY!
I know this is not possible in most cases. I saw a Reddit post about someone admitting to wanting to be intimate with their female friends. And so true about how the subconscious works. And also the female friend will have a sense of entitlement to that man and see you as a threat. I see this as the first red flag before dealing with any man. When you whipped that handle out 😂😂🤣
Yea I learned this from experience every man I was ever friends with either tried to be in a relationship with me or tried to sleep with me. Men & women definitely cannot be platonic friends. And it is a deal breaker. If you got her you don't need me.
Tony you are so right. A man always have an ulterior motive for being a "friend" to a woman. Even if he can't be intimate with you, he might need you as a care taker until family can come along and take over. At 71 I have learned that a man will lie his way through being a friend to another woman when in a relationship with you. Even an ex. It's bad enough when you are involved with a man who can't get over his first love that has been dead for 20 years. As a matter of fact your man would not tolerate you having a man as a friend.
Ladies, we may tell ourselves that we only see a man platonically and are not communicating with him to fill the void of "male energy," but if we see the truth in our hearts, we will find that is not the case. Aside from perhaps family, we must be willing to go the distance to let go of all the men in our lives except ones we interact with on a professional basis and, even then, we need to be careful that these don't become our "friends," too. If you are single, it might seem like you are removing the male options from your life, so you will feel resistant about doing so. That's because the female ego needs them to feel better about itself and lies to you about what these men really mean your life. It will make many of the rationalizations as presented in Tony's video. But when you do let them all go, your energy will shift to be more open to the right man. And if you mutually continue not to have friends of the opposite sex, your marriage will have a much more solid, truthful and respectful foundation.
Ladies!!!!!! Please, please take heed on this brother's advice. Do not date your male friends, and keep male friends strictly business or acquaintances! If you are on the path of intentional dating to marriage. We women are too emotional in the caring, giving generous sense of the word. Men will get off on that even if they know they don't want you as a wife. Many years ago, I parted with my then boyfriend and fell in the lap of my proverbial friend of 8 or so years, and boy was that dumb. So dumb I could write a short book on how stupid I was for thinking he would take me serious. And I did this a few more times until I woke up and then found TG'S channel. Sisters, the male friends will wait, how ever long it takes for you to be vulnerable, if you let them, they will eat cake!!!!!! Be blessed tribe!
I agree Tony, some people believe it's ok to be friends with opposite sex. But it's not good because it will put stress in your marriage. It's best to let that friendship go.
FACTS! You are on point with this one. For those who say “my best friend and I never crossed that line”, it’s because YOU didn’t want to cross it. Trust me, your friend is definitely thinking it but for fear of losing the friendship will never say it.
True. Once I set boundaries with a guy who I knew was certainly not trying to be friends I stopped hearing from him he completely changed his behavior and back off
@@randaawatson8751 men always have a plan ... so we have to always be on point and be 1 step ahead & be respectful of our mates by exiting the conversation with “males” right away!
Absolutely... Before i renewed my life back to Christ I was definitely sleeping with my work husbae and he definitely had a family at home. I can't even text him now (we no longer work together) because he still asks for sex and I don't want to anymore
I´m biracial and live in a small country in Europe that´s predominantly white and it´s SO true. The boundaries are often messed up and inappropriate and you can be easily be labelled "jealous" if you choose to check that behaviour
I used to be innocent and think my male friends were thinking like me. Im thinking "I love my FRIEND. He's the best!" Cz we're just friends. THEN one would just say out of the blue "I dreamed about you and it was..." I was MORTIFIED!!! 😳😂😂 Everything Tony is saying is true.
I’ve pressed folk on this topic for years, and people would argue me to the core that you can be friends with the opposite sex. I trust my husband, but I’d NEVER be naive enough to believe that if in the “right” circumstances he couldn’t fall into temptation. It has nothing to do with trust, but everything to do with wisdom, caution, and common sense.
I broke up with my ex boyfriend due to something similar. I had a friend of ten years. Married. She was clearly unhappy in her marriage, but in any rate she “befriended” my ex boyfriend. She was out there. 4 kids by 4 different fathers. She trashed our 10 year friendship for a “perceived” friendship with him. I was already ready to leave the relationship with my ex. So, when he bought toys for her kids without telling me, it was the last straw and I knew in my own heart it was time to move on and let go. But it confirmed that he wasn’t the one and the Lord eliminated someone who wasn’t a real friend. Better without both. She was drama and he was going no where fast. But when my real husband comes, I know what character to look for and that a real friend would never disrespect or try me in such a way.
I am in the same situation I am being called insecure I have issues within myself. We are dating and speaking on going in to a relationship. He told me when he is in a relationship he cuts his female friends but has not. However I am arguing having all these negative thoughts and feelings and he has not fixed it to make me feel secure. He hide his phone but expect me to show mine. I know it does not feel right to me I don’t believe in people having friends of opposite sex. My first time dealing with something like this so my emotions are high on this subject with him. Please help me am I too much
This is a workshop on a man's soul. Emotional attachment to a woman friend is real. There is going to be at least one of the woman friends that has something that is a man's desire, either: she's cute, she's supportive, she's fine, etc. I'm single, never been married, but I can understand what TG is saying. If I were in a committed relationship right now, I would have to set some boundaries and direct my attention to the committed 1.
@@fancydani What you have there is a soul tie, I have experienced that enough wth male friends. Dating Guy friends is the reason why I found this community to begin with. I do NOT reccomend it. I highly recommend building friendships from a romantic stand point, not building a romance out of a friendship. As TG says, and I 100% agree, if the man doesn't pursue you from the jump with a romantic intent, and he presents himself to you as a friend, leave him there for life. If he was your future husband, he would not mask himself as a friend. Think of a wolf in lamb's clothing.
@@melaniegonzalezart8506 I needed this. I was holding on watching so many videos after falling for my best friend of 10 years. We didn’t start off with romantic intentions. We both have like each other at different times over the year but never at the same time. Now I love him romantically and he doesn’t feel the same way. He tells me he loves me and treats me like a gf (everything but hokey pokey because we stopped that) Im so confused and it saddens me. Im moving on with my life and we’re taking a break but I don’t think we should come back from it. Idk if he’ll ever love me back romantically and I won’t accept anything less.
Wow this is conformation, I had issues with my ex/son father being friends with his ex girlfriend and a woman he was trying to get, with years before me and him got together, I told him that don’t make sense to me and it’s not acceptable, long story short he continued the friendship with them, we broke up 2 years ago. God is good,
I never got men staying friends with an ex while in a relationship. Seems like they try to keep the option open otherwise they’d want nothing to do with them if they’ve moved on. Good call!
Chile an ex reached out to me on FB, and found out he’s getting married! I thought to myself, “sir you’re about to get married, what’s the point of contacting me!” 🙄
This is very true. I grew up with a lot of male peers because we went to school together from elementary all the way to college. None of them just wanted to be my friend after puberty. I was hurt because I really thought I could have genuine male friends. I learned that boundaries are a MUST because some ppl think you may be romantically interested in them, if you’re very friendly. To this day, I’ve never had a man not try me after we’ve known each other for a certain amount of time.
This guy doesnt admit. He blames me for praying that he should break up with his girlfriend to be with me. He says he has the gift of discernment and hear the spirit saying its me that wants him single for me. Is that true? Is he right? But I know he is not the one. I was being used on valentine's by him calling my best friend a liar.
38:56 WORD PER WORD what my ex told me when I brought up that I was uncomfortable w his “female best friend”.. you just confirmed that when a man gets defensive abt his female friend, it’s because he wants to sleep w her/wants more than a friendship w her. Always trust your gut ladies! It hurts to hear but it makes us stronger🙌🏼 stay strong my loves ❤️ never settle for a man that wont respect your boundaries
I just had to end my relationship because he would not understand my point of view about this. He called me too jealous, insecure, low self-esteem and crazy. He told me to either change my point of view or disappear from his life. Just the way he talked to me I felt it was best to block him everywhere. Unfortunately he did not love me enough it seems. He even used our diferent religion and culture but I just felt something really off.
@@barbaracristina1508 OMG that's so painful 💔😵 I empathize with you 100% !!! Going through the same thing for the last year or so up until now.. my bf has also said, that we need to break up if I cannot accept his female besties. 💔 you know the pain, sis...we don't have much choices when presented with something like this, do we? 💔🔥
He is telling the truth tho...😂😂 I’m the girl who friend zone quiet of bit guys .....and after a while they always Try to slide out of the zone and tell they true feelings.... I don’t even like being friends with guys because I already know what they here for but I just be trying to be nice
No... it doesn’t work that way. I had so called male friends. If there’s even a slight attraction, he will try🤔 Watch Tony’s last video. It can be a toxic person playing the role of a friend. Be blessed and stay safe. Got the lesson and some laughs. Always appreciated😂
My best buddy passed away in August-2020. We had been friends since we were 8-yrs old. Never, never did we cross that line, never dated either! We could talk about anything under the sun, especially about our Lord. I will miss him always.
I once had one of my older married male coworker tell me that men & women cannot be friends but in my mind i disagreed with him. He told me that men wait for the right moment. I was so naive, when other male made subliminal hints, i talked myself out of it & thought i was crazy lol🤣🤣we live & learn. Thanks for this video.
Tony's 💯 right! And Mrs. Gaskins is definitely right not having male friends in marriage, both of them operate in integrity. I honestly don't have male friends because what goes unchecked before marriage will go unchecked in marriage. And all that male female energy gets messy. If a man tells me we're friends, I'm like,,,uuuuhhh, no we not cause if you had your chance, my L-3, L-4 would get twisted, broken and busted! I know that! Thank you Tony for another amazing one!
It's all true every word. There is no emotional intimacy between a couple cause their "platonic" best friend gets that part of your partner and have the nerve to be angry at you when you dare question them about the level of communication, texts, phone calls, FaceTime, Facebook, dinner, shining knight helpy helper. They don't have time for a commitment with you.
@@bennir3297 at present, can two animal such as a lame and a lion be friends? Well, if they were raised together at a very young age then yes they can bond and form friendship.
Its true Tony..But these women "friends" be having ulterior motives as well. I think the main takeaway is anyone talking about having a friend of the opposite sex while they trying to be in a relationship, they gotta go.
I CAN"T WITH THIS MAN!!! The faces, the sound effects, the demonstrations!! He's too much!! But your servitude is much appreciated!! God has blessed you and your family and may He continue to always do so!
Nope! I learned a hard lesson last year...these guys do NOT want to be your "just" your friends. I recently ended a 25 year friendship. I don't even care anymore. It's pathetic.
I learned the hard way last year too. As soon as I got single and poured my heart out to my friend, he made his move. I was still hurting. I honestly thought men and women could be friends. I grew up with 4 older brothers and no sisters. I grew up with no female cousins and my brother’s friends. My “friend” made a hard move on me. He’s been friend zoned for now.
Yes these men will patiently wait and make their move. I have never had any male friends who didn't finally come out and admit they wanted more than just a friendship with me. Even the married ones I had wanted to sleep with me but I never went there with any of my friends. If you want to be more than friends then you should have never tried to approach me with that "just friends" business from the get go!!! Gone bout yo business!!!
I just had this conversation with a friend who is about to marry a man with a female 'best friend" who has caused some discontent in their marriage planning. Thanks Tony for reaffirming what I was telling my friend.
I’m no longer blocking my blessings giving my love to my guy best friend. It’s toxic any man that will get u in bed if they had the opportunity to is not your real friend, they using u. Sure feelings are there 14 years of friendship I know he has feelings for me but he has so many vices I can’t keep putting my time and energy in that.. I want a husband
Right? I’ve stopped going out with my guy friend of 7 years bc the moment I was single he expressed feelings for me and I realized that each time we go out together, that’s blocking any men from approaching me. If he could he would take me out each weekend, but I had to shut that down.
Re: Husband So true you’re worth it! This manipulation taking advantage of your loneliness & blocking your opportunity to find love ❤️ when you really think about it, it’s quite dark... & that isn’t friend that’s a creature using you to fill the gaps in his life due to his arrested development due to him not being able to commit himself to an adult relationship, such a boy with tings!!
The key word for you is “vices” and you should not want to spend too much time with a friend of either sex that has too many vices that could influence you in a negative sense.
My Grandma always said don't be jumping in cars with strangers and never trust a man and never look a man in the face eye to eye so I always held on to that cause grandma always said never let a man see your smile and don't be out here all up in no man face smiling misleading them on tempting them or given them the wrong impression
I only need to be best friends with the man of whom we both mutually chose to be exclusive and on our way to the altar...once you've encountered your spouse to be, then the search ends immediately. Just make sure the guy or gal you're trying to befriend or latch onto is single and not taken in some form or fashion...this will eliminate any unnecessary drama!!!!
Friends relations between men and women are possible. According to Professor Sandra Faulkner of Bowling Green University, it is nonsense that men and women cannot be friends. “It's all part of a heteronormative script,” she explains. "If you go from that script, every time you think of a man and a woman being together, you would assume it's in a romantic setting. That's because of that script. But a lot of us don't go that way." one script." Faulkner is an expert on gender and sexuality. She explains that the idea behind that script can be traced back to the idea that a heterosexual relationship between a man and a woman is the highest form of social interaction. "It's based on the assumption that everyone is heterosexual; that romantic relationships are more important than your other relationships. It's a cult idea of romance - the idea that a romantic relationship is all you need." But in real life, a relationship with someone doesn't have to be that way. A sincere and long-lasting friendship between a man and a woman can transcend a romantic relationship. "One of the reasons we think men and women can't be friends is because we're taught to look for romantic opportunities within our friend groups. Then we return to Faulkner's cult idea of (heterosexual) romance. "Certainly for women," Faulkner argues, "there is an image that you necessarily have to have a romantic relationship. Pop culture confirms that image." For example, through a show such as Friends, in which the main characters have relationships with each other. But if you start looking for loved ones mainly within your group of friends, it often ends up being just as wonderful as script writers would like you to believe. "A year and a half ago I had a relationship with a good friend of mine," Tim says. “That became a fucking nightmare and it was extremely difficult to get over.”
Absolutely right TG I’ve never had women /man at my house when I was married. My married friend may she Rest In Peace I was never at her house around her husband unless it was a family gathering period. That’s just me even in relationships never had women at my house period . You be surprised how they fake jealousy will come upon them because they have no man or husband 😩🤮😒
On the shirt order, no need to worry. We had an ice and snow storm in Arkansas so the mail hasn’t been delivered this whole week. I’ll be happy whenever it gets here.
True , when a man steps to a woman he already has an idea what he wants From her and let’s be truthful, it’s the physical attraction. Men are moved by what they See.
@@LA-wv7gf those are the exceptions and I think they both know what’s up even if it’s not what happens right away. They both still move purely as friends-nothing more and no FWB.
Friends relations between men and women are possible. According to Professor Sandra Faulkner of Bowling Green University, it is nonsense that men and women cannot be friends. “It's all part of a heteronormative script,” she explains. "If you go from that script, every time you think of a man and a woman being together, you would assume it's in a romantic setting. That's because of that script. But a lot of us don't go that way." one script." Faulkner is an expert on gender and sexuality. She explains that the idea behind that script can be traced back to the idea that a heterosexual relationship between a man and a woman is the highest form of social interaction. "It's based on the assumption that everyone is heterosexual; that romantic relationships are more important than your other relationships. It's a cult idea of romance - the idea that a romantic relationship is all you need." But in real life, a relationship with someone doesn't have to be that way. A sincere and long-lasting friendship between a man and a woman can transcend a romantic relationship. "One of the reasons we think men and women can't be friends is because we're taught to look for romantic opportunities within our friend groups. Then we return to Faulkner's cult idea of (heterosexual) romance. "Certainly for women," Faulkner argues, "there is an image that you necessarily have to have a romantic relationship. Pop culture confirms that image." For example, through a show such as Friends, in which the main characters have relationships with each other. But if you start looking for loved ones mainly within your group of friends, it often ends up being just as wonderful as script writers would like you to believe. "A year and a half ago I had a relationship with a good friend of mine," Tim says. “That became a fucking nightmare and it was extremely difficult to get over.”
Everything has been said and it’s refreshing to hear and read comments from people that see the danger in this. It’s not jealousy and insecurity. It’s wisdom and respect for your significant other. Great video.
I was in a relationship with someone who exchanged numbers with a long lost "cousin at his aunts funeral" low and behold 2 weeks later he was talking texting visiting her every day trying to get this cousin help all the time with everything. Turns out they were smashing.....don't put nothing past a man whose spirit has not been renewed. He can't even trust himself.....
This is exactly why my husband and I are getting a divorce. My husband told someone that “No one will come in between me and my friends!” It’s not right. He and his “best friend!” Can have each other. He tried to make me feel I was crazy and needed mental help. He tried to destroy me because my intuition was on point. I didn’t know the game years ago but I have learned. I wanted to believe they were just friends but I had to remember I had to discover her. She was a secret. But Tony took it to the next level. Opposite sex can’t just be friends. My spouse of 20 years defends that “ sinful relationship” with all he has but now I don’t care.
Yes your so correct!!! But my ex didn’t see it he said I was jealous ! Lord knows I had no piece of jealousy at all it was more about the respect she would call all day while I was with him and when I asked him to tell her respect our time he got really mad at me and it seem like after that he started talking to her even more !
My late husband would always say a man and woman could never be just friend ....... I didn’t truly understand the logic then, but you have really put it in perspective ....... just as how my late husband did........ now I really get it
Yep. Every male friend I’ve had has tried to kiss me, make sexual innuendos, tell me that they like me, steer me wrong so I wouldn’t date other men, or just enjoyed my attractiveness/ energy. There was no level of genuine connection trying to be formed. After I left my old job two male coworkers, married, messaged me asking to sleep with me. It’s always the coworkers
Wow! What I'm hearing is shocking. I've never thought about it like that before. I have some male friends that I've had since grammar school and I'm 51 and I never thought of anything like this.
They can be friends, but they cannot be close....I have a best friend of 20 years but I must admit...being close would ruin things....she is attractive and I am charming to most women. I once proposed to her out of pure insanity and we once played spin the bottle in jr high school. We only speak once a month or so now, but if we hung out even once a week or were alone enough, I am pretty sure something would happen. It just isn't possible if the two people were alone enough, the attraction is too strong...there are no red lights strong enough to stop you both, its the strongest of attraction despite reasoning.
I’m here because I’ve been best friends with my friend for 10 years. I’ve recently come to love him romantically but he says he loves me to death, just not romantically. I just don’t see why friends can’t grow into something more. I refuse to settle for just friends so I’m walking away. He’s upset about it and thinks I should stay but if he got a gf he’d leave me. Why wait until then? He said there were times he wanted me but I didn’t want him back those times. It was only a couple times though.
Man, Tony, now I got to cut off a brother/sister relationship for 8 years. But I ain't going to lie you are preaching the truth cause something similar happen to me of a friendship with a guy from my high school. We even went to the same college, and I noticed I was unconsciously attracted to him and dreaming about him. I had to cut it off because I did not see myself with him; I believe he was attracted to me but not on a best friend level or sister level. But, I firmly stated we are only friends, not going toward a relationship. So, he went on his separate path with his girlfriend and me on my journey of healing. Though the guy I am friends with now for 8 years who I thought of like a brother, I might need to cut him off too because we had hung out for my birthday and went to dave buster's together, and I just did not feel right because he has a girlfriend. And I am not with the drama, so it is best I just stick to my female friends and stop living in the mind frame that men and women can be best friends for life.
Well my Ex claims he was bestfriend with his childrens mother. Who called everyday & their children are 30 27 & 24yrs.old. Now Mr. GASKIN what do they have to talk about?? I 'll wait!!
Got you one better. My ex- grown boy talked or texted his ex-wife everyday and they do NOT have children together. So, what are they talking about🤔. I told him it was not working for me. He continued to do it. Gone bout yo business👋🏾!!!
@@mymakersdaughter6041 hate to hear this . Like wt heck?? My 2 sons are 31 & 25. I don't talk to their dad for nothing. There's No Bad Blood. I respect his women & they are Whole young men.
@@stephaniethomas91 Exactly! He rarely talks to his ex-wife that he has children with so you know it’s odd for him to talk to his ex-wife that he doesn’t have kids with. Boy please!
You are so right about men and women being friends. That's why I personally don't believe that men and women can be friends. Because a man will wait forever to try you especially if they're attractive to them. Tony, you may think that I'm crazy , but I believe and think that I think like a man and I act like a lady. I'm very much intuned with the human mind! Blessings to you and your beautiful family .
Ladies, your true girlfriends would not find themselves at all drawn to your husband/boyfriend. Gents, your true homies don't at all have desires for your wife/girlfriend. Now, your colleagues and casual associates are the ones you need to watch out for. They front like they are cool when all the while they want your significant other 🙄😏😯. Married, engaged, or taken men are not my forte no matter how fine they are. I've never been the type to be attracted to or hit on some other woman's man...reason why is because I've always wanted my own 😁.
Even true girlfriends and homies are human and flawed. Give them enough access & they can develop lust, jealousy, & inappropriate feelings for our partner. It is best to keep strict boundaries.
My mom taught me as a young kid....When your friends have a boyfriend or husband, you don't need to be at her house everyday.
Stuck with me to this day.
Your mom is wise...👍
@@beefaye6861 Thank you!
Correct
That is inviting trouble
@@disnalee Absolutely 💯
I remember in high school my best friend’s uncle told us girls that “look, no man or boy is going to be “your friend” unless he’s attracted to you in some way.” Tony is 1000% right about this.
Intellectually
Even if he is not attracted to you. He will still try to smash
Well I am a man and I'm friends with womans that are not my dream woman, and not handsome in my world
Think about, this is true to some degree with even same sex friendships (not that it should be but it is true).
“A man will make you feel stupid for believing that he may have feelings for his female friend. “ TG
He is beyond stupid
Yup! My ex did that.
If your still entertaining others your not satisfy with your relationship or marriage.
Always trust your gut. You’re watching certain body language & notice certain eye contact etc put it in your back pocket & say nothing, hold it down. Then the next situation analyse the reactions of the friends on the receiving end because it’s not always both ways.
I never had a desire to have male friends. I don’t understand why you need friends of the opposite sex. I feel like when you get in a relationship/ marriage, friends of the opposite is inappropriate to me.
I Agree
Amen Sis!!!!!
Right! Plus I never really trusted that a man was genuinely my friend anyway.
So on point! I totally fought with me ex about that and He always said I was insecured. Such an idiot.
100!!!
...another thing I don’t play about is the fake “brother/sister” etc. If you aren’t blood related, then eventually that “brother/sister” turns into a sexual relationship.
I disagree.. I’m friends with a lot of my little brothers friends.. they’re like my little brothers.. ain’t nothing gona happen 😂
This is the truth. My step brother tried to date me and our parents have been married for 8 years. It was crazy. He didn’t think that it was inappropriate because we aren’t blood related, but I did.
@@aliciawoods8925 eww
@@aliciawoods8925 he’s watching too much of The Hub if you know what I mean 😭 lmao
Hahaha... you're right!
Me ex slept with his best friend before we got into a relationship (I’m sure it may have been during) and he had this girl around me smiling in my face, and they were wayyyyyy too close for my liking. He lied and said they never did anything. I’m never getting with a man with a “female best friend”
👎
👍
Same here. My ex sons father had a boo bf and she was always silent when I was listening on the phone but never wud speak when I was listening to their call on speaker when he called her....sneaky n untrustworthy on both
See...I would be on death row...don't play with me....I can't !
He must have worked for Amazon, cause he is a Prime example! And besides this, once you do the deed, you can no longer be "just friends". Cut them off completely.
The only female "friend" I saw my father make turned into an affair. This was after probably 20 years of being faithful.
So this is very serious and Tony is right about how our minds work.
This is true. They will develope feelings
Yikes. 20 years??? Yikes, yikes, yikes!😶
I've learned not to play these opposite sex friend games. Had a male associate (who is married) complain to me about his marital problems and his wife. I said "Hey, have you heard of this man named Tony Gaskins?" and sent him a link to purchase Make It Work 😅. He never brought up the topic again!
You’re awesome!! 😂😭😆🙌🏾❤️😘
Amen!
🤣🤣🤣🤣
This is too amazing🤣🤣🤣
☠️🤣🤣🤣🤣
I thought I was the only woman, that was against my man having female friends and being friends with their ex’s,
Nope! Not at all! It simply is NOT a good idea!
No you are not the only one. I have always felt this way.
He is not satisfied in his relationship so he is still entertaining others
Nope never! That is a recipe for disaster!!
Nope not at all, I thought I was the only one that felt this way, I'm having this issue now with my boyfriend of 7yrs, he gets mad at me and we argue when I bring this up about his single female friend that calls and texts every week, they were friends back when they were younger and he says it strictly friends, I tried to explain to him the principle of this and he just thinks I'm jealous, says to me that I just don't want him to have any friends, and says she was there for me way before I met you etc. I even showed him this video but still he does not get my point
When he stops liking you,friendship is over.
When I was dating my husband, he use to tell me, those guys are not your friend, they want to sleep with you.
He is honest and those are hard to find
I know husbands who will say that but then will have female friends because they want you to believe they are different. It’s a shame.
@@ashleycbla I thank God, I didn't have that problem with my husband. He was a man of good character.
My cousins said the same thing to me.
I wish my bf said the same , all my male friend fancy me but kept them because i have no female friend where i moved, ive been 100 and told him that even tho they respect me they wish me as their gf . Im willing to cut them off but hes not willing to cut female "friend" that " he speaks to every month" and dont really speaks out bout my male friend witch i dont like i like a territorial man
keep your man hes a diamond
In my younger days, I had a lot of guy friends but they all ended out admitting later they were never looking at me like a friend :/ one of my boyfriends told me not to be so naive to think that any man truly is trying to be just "friends" with any woman
Same here!!! Every single one of them!
Damn he was being honest. I never met an honest man
It hurts my heart I have to end good quality relationships simply because of feelings or because vice versa my sister friend wanted more.
Any male "friend" I've had has showed interest while they or me were both single and in a relationship. I stopped being friends w/ men b/c they don't actually care, they're just waiting to smash. I've tested it by flirting - they'll talk all day but once I stop flirting, I don't hear from them for a while. I grew up and out of that.
You are 100% correct! Then they have the audacity to get upset when you reject them. I'm so over it.😑
Facts!!! That’s how it goes
@Tiffany Moore Truth!!! I TRUST NONE.
I do believe that a man and a woman cannot be friends so if they get defensive they are lying. The mindset game is over
I think it's because how society has programmed the friendship phase into relationships. Now in days I've learned to make my intentions known to women. If I like her, I give it 3 weeks and after that if it's rejection that's fine I've learned to move on. But no more stale Friendships and she knows I like her. It's time out for a passive attitude. I can still be a respectful man and brother without being a jerk.
It’s truly sad and I seen women on Facebook boosting about being “friends” with men who are involved with someone and saying the woman who has a problem with their friendship are insecure and jealous. Well yeah men or women having opposite sex friendships can trigger unnecessary insecurity and jealousy. It should never be you vs your partner. It’s supposed to be y’all against the temptation of the world.
Thats a fact! I try to tell people just cause I don't label a woman as a friend doesn't mean I don't love and respect them. I want to keep my self emotionally available my future spouse and be comfortable in being alone. Friends=soul ties.
It happen to me. My ex had a female friend, she came to our birthday parties, bringing her husband, everything and still they slept together. Tony you not lieing... I've experienced it.
Your ex obviously wanted to cheat. Everything would have been fine if they kept it to meeting together in groups or a dinner with you there etc. and you become mutual friends. Obviously they decided to meet alone and be involved in an affair (this could have happened with a waitress he met at lunch, some lady at work, etc.) The only way to avoid all chances of infidelity (especially for those who are not very serious about their vows) is to be totally in a society that completely separates the sexes (I.e. Saudi Arabia or Afghanistan). Truthfully, it seems like that this does not work because it seems many of the men there actually end up more sexually obsessed (also seems women are in more danger assault, etc.).
I can't do anything but laugh because if this ain't the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. 🤣
Wise words. Thanks
🤣😂🙈. Same here, babe.. I haven't stop laughing the whole time... Just sheer funny this Tony.. Oh dear
This is so true
This is so true and I just had to break things off with a guy (16 yr friendship) who admitted his feelings for me. He still played me smh
How so?
🤦🏿♀️ I’m sorry that happened to you. I’ve learned 99.9 percent of the time men that are friends just wait around for their chance.
@@EdemAf exactly just waiting for their chance !
@@EdemAf that’s what I learned too smh
@@fancydani too sad! And it's so sad because the whole time you think, wow it's so nice to have a genuine platonic male friend. My father taught me that men will wait a long time just to get what they want out of you.
This is true. There was a point in time where I had a LOT of male friends, which, to me, were just platonic... but when I look back on it, there has not been one - not even ONE!! - who hasn’t tried me! This man is speaking FACTS!
Gone bout yo business! The Tshirt is coming! 😂😂😂
I so want this shirt.
This is so true!!!! After my husband passed away men that I’ve know for 10 plus years came out of know where trying to shoot their shot!!! I said to myself omg they will wait for years and years until an opportunity presents its self!!! That’s when I really learned and understood that everyone doesn’t always have pure intentions ,everyone has a motive good or bad!!
Yes, i have a friend we knew each other over 20+ years and he finally came out telling me he had a crush on me and was telling me things about my older sister and him in the past. I was so in shock and would not talk to him for over a year.
Trusting that he was a good man, I am sorry for your loss. But yess!! They will lie in wait for the opportune time. Especially being that you were in a vulnerable state. Some men will take advantage, nom matter the situation. Just trifling.
If they were honest they would've told you and moved on before your marriage
I am sorry for your loss. They asked after your husband passed. They weren't trying to date a married woman. They weren't disrespectful. Did you feel disrespected?
@@purplepheasant4776 I agree. Depends on the amount of time that has passed (if they ask right away I would feel a lack of respect). But could not their be a connection formed because there was love for the same person (it really depends on the person - it could be very disrespectful or just fine).
I’m white. And I agree there is a difference. But yes, friends with the opposite sex is a complete distraction from what u are trying to build with your partner. It’s so important for one on one, to be one on one. Take care. Also, y would u even want to make ur partner uncomfortable like that?
Well said
Friendly relations between men and women are possible. According to Professor Sandra Faulkner of Bowling Green University, it is nonsense that men and women cannot be friends. “It's all part of a heteronormative script,” she explains. "If you go from that script, every time you think of a man and a woman being together, you would assume it's in a romantic setting. That's because of that script. But a lot of us don't go that way." one script." Faulkner is an expert on gender and sexuality. She explains that the idea behind that script can be traced back to the idea that a heterosexual relationship between a man and a woman is the highest form of social interaction. "It's based on the assumption that everyone is heterosexual; that romantic relationships are more important than your other relationships. It's a cult idea of romance - the idea that a romantic relationship is all you need."
But in real life, a relationship with someone doesn't have to be that way. A sincere and long-lasting friendship between a man and a woman can transcend a romantic relationship. "One of the reasons we think men and women can't be friends is because we're taught to look for romantic opportunities within our friend groups. Then we return to Faulkner's cult idea of (heterosexual) romance. "Certainly for women," Faulkner argues, "there is an image that you necessarily have to have a romantic relationship. Pop culture confirms that image." For example, through a show such as Friends, in which the main characters have relationships with each other. But if you start looking for loved ones mainly within your group of friends, it often ends up being just as wonderful as script writers would like you to believe. "A year and a half ago I had a relationship with a good friend of mine," Tim says. “That became a fucking nightmare and it was extremely difficult to get over.”
Class is in session ladies!
My brother is truly on a mission for God because even though he repeats himself in numerous videos he still answers the same questions. This has to be draining so I KNOW this is Gods work, there’s no way! I’m so grateful for our brother.
This video is definitely not for the faint of heart because a lot of people have "friends"/orbiters for their ego. Pure, honest truth that most people won't want to hear but which will bless the lives of those who do heed its wisdom.
Tony you have me HOLLERING over your lint brush demo 🙈🙊🙈
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The Lint Brush TOOL! 😂🤣😂😂 when he lifts that... I’m creasing up! In the uk 🇬🇧😂🤣 when he’s saying friend going in bathroom! 😂🤣 He’s the male friend we need... telling us how it is! Real Talk! Love TONY!
I know this is not possible in most cases. I saw a Reddit post about someone admitting to wanting to be intimate with their female friends. And so true about how the subconscious works. And also the female friend will have a sense of entitlement to that man and see you as a threat. I see this as the first red flag before dealing with any man.
When you whipped that handle out 😂😂🤣
Facts! It happened to me, my ex with his best friend/biz partner 🙄
Yea I learned this from experience every man I was ever friends with either tried to be in a relationship with me or tried to sleep with me. Men & women definitely cannot be platonic friends. And it is a deal breaker. If you got her you don't need me.
Im here! This topic is the one that will set it off....
Tony you are so right. A man always have an ulterior motive for being a "friend" to a woman. Even if he can't be intimate with you, he might need you as a care taker until family can come along and take over. At 71 I have learned that a man will lie his way through being a friend to another woman when in a relationship with you. Even an ex. It's bad enough when you are involved with a man who can't get over his first love that has been dead for 20 years. As a matter of fact your man would not tolerate you having a man as a friend.
Flesh is weak. Amen. We cant allow our self in a position to be alone with the opposite sex.
Amen
Ladies, we may tell ourselves that we only see a man platonically and are not communicating with him to fill the void of "male energy," but if we see the truth in our hearts, we will find that is not the case. Aside from perhaps family, we must be willing to go the distance to let go of all the men in our lives except ones we interact with on a professional basis and, even then, we need to be careful that these don't become our "friends," too.
If you are single, it might seem like you are removing the male options from your life, so you will feel resistant about doing so. That's because the female ego needs them to feel better about itself and lies to you about what these men really mean your life. It will make many of the rationalizations as presented in Tony's video. But when you do let them all go, your energy will shift to be more open to the right man. And if you mutually continue not to have friends of the opposite sex, your marriage will have a much more solid, truthful and respectful foundation.
💯
Truth
Thank you for this! I needed to hear it
Racist
Ladies!!!!!! Please, please take heed on this brother's advice. Do not date your male friends, and keep male friends strictly business or acquaintances! If you are on the path of intentional dating to marriage.
We women are too emotional in the caring, giving generous sense of the word. Men will get off on that even if they know they don't want you as a wife.
Many years ago, I parted with my then boyfriend and fell in the lap of my proverbial friend of 8 or so years, and boy was that dumb. So dumb I could write a short book on how stupid I was for thinking he would take me serious. And I did this a few more times until I woke up and then found TG'S channel.
Sisters, the male friends will wait, how ever long it takes for you to be vulnerable, if you let them, they will eat cake!!!!!! Be blessed tribe!
I agree Tony, some people believe it's ok to be friends with opposite sex. But it's not good because it will put stress in your marriage. It's best to let that friendship go.
When I was younger I thought I could have male friends, as an adult I know better.
FACTS! You are on point with this one. For those who say “my best friend and I never crossed that line”, it’s because YOU didn’t want to cross it. Trust me, your friend is definitely thinking it but for fear of losing the friendship will never say it.
And woman have to beware of those type of male coworkers too
True. Once I set boundaries with a guy who I knew was certainly not trying to be friends I stopped hearing from him he completely changed his behavior and back off
Why is this the case?
@@randaawatson8751 men always have a plan ... so we have to always be on point and be 1 step ahead & be respectful of our mates by exiting the conversation with “males” right away!
He is funny and doesn't know he is funny. The voices crack me up. His main messages Wow!
This topic also addresses those "work husbands" and "work wives" ... I give them the side eye ALL THE TIME
Absolutely... Before i renewed my life back to Christ I was definitely sleeping with my work husbae and he definitely had a family at home. I can't even text him now (we no longer work together) because he still asks for sex and I don't want to anymore
@@deetoopretty6099 😳
@@kaywisseh its true...idk if he's married to her because he says they aren't but either way I was definitely wrong
I´m biracial and live in a small country in Europe that´s predominantly white and it´s SO true. The boundaries are often messed up and inappropriate and you can be easily be labelled "jealous" if you choose to check that behaviour
I used to be innocent and think my male friends were thinking like me. Im thinking "I love my FRIEND. He's the best!" Cz we're just friends. THEN one would just say out of the blue "I dreamed about you and it was..." I was MORTIFIED!!! 😳😂😂 Everything Tony is saying is true.
This is the absolute truth. Any male friend that I’ve ever had has shown interest & that’s how I learned.
I’ve pressed folk on this topic for years, and people would argue me to the core that you can be friends with the opposite sex. I trust my husband, but I’d NEVER be naive enough to believe that if in the “right” circumstances he couldn’t fall into temptation. It has nothing to do with trust, but everything to do with wisdom, caution, and common sense.
I broke up with my ex boyfriend due to something similar. I had a friend of ten years. Married. She was clearly unhappy in her marriage, but in any rate she “befriended” my ex boyfriend. She was out there. 4 kids by 4 different fathers. She trashed our 10 year friendship for a “perceived” friendship with him. I was already ready to leave the relationship with my ex. So, when he bought toys for her kids without telling me, it was the last straw and I knew in my own heart it was time to move on and let go. But it confirmed that he wasn’t the one and the Lord eliminated someone who wasn’t a real friend. Better without both. She was drama and he was going no where fast. But when my real husband comes, I know what character to look for and that a real friend would never disrespect or try me in such a way.
Here I was apologizing to my ex for MY insecurities!! Man i needed this CLARITY! Like always I have to thank you Tony! Bless you and your family!
I am in the same situation I am being called insecure I have issues within myself. We are dating and speaking on going in to a relationship. He told me when he is in a relationship he cuts his female friends but has not. However I am arguing having all these negative thoughts and feelings and he has not fixed it to make me feel secure. He hide his phone but expect me to show mine. I know it does not feel right to me I don’t believe in people having friends of opposite sex. My first time dealing with something like this so my emotions are high on this subject with him. Please help me am I too much
This is a workshop on a man's soul.
Emotional attachment to a woman friend is real. There is going to be at least one of the woman friends that has something that is a man's desire, either: she's cute, she's supportive, she's fine, etc.
I'm single, never been married, but I can understand what TG is saying. If I were in a committed relationship right now, I would have to set some boundaries and direct my attention to the committed 1.
God bless
@@tiffanymitchell-ross6902 God Bless.
I can tell my guy friend is emotionally attached to me, I am to him as well but I’m waking up and I have been distancing myself
@@fancydani What you have there is a soul tie, I have experienced that enough wth male friends.
Dating Guy friends is the reason why I found this community to begin with.
I do NOT reccomend it. I highly recommend building friendships from a romantic stand point, not building a romance out of a friendship.
As TG says, and I 100% agree, if the man doesn't pursue you from the jump with a romantic intent, and he presents himself to you as a friend, leave him there for life. If he was your future husband, he would not mask himself as a friend. Think of a wolf in lamb's clothing.
@@melaniegonzalezart8506 I needed this. I was holding on watching so many videos after falling for my best friend of 10 years. We didn’t start off with romantic intentions. We both have like each other at different times over the year but never at the same time. Now I love him romantically and he doesn’t feel the same way. He tells me he loves me and treats me like a gf (everything but hokey pokey because we stopped that)
Im so confused and it saddens me. Im moving on with my life and we’re taking a break but I don’t think we should come back from it. Idk if he’ll ever love me back romantically and I won’t accept anything less.
Wow this is conformation, I had issues with my ex/son father being friends with his ex girlfriend and a woman he was trying to get, with years before me and him got together, I told him that don’t make sense to me and it’s not acceptable, long story short he continued the friendship with them, we broke up 2 years ago. God is good,
Broke up with my ex for the same reason. Not going to work playboy!!
I never got men staying friends with an ex while in a relationship. Seems like they try to keep the option open otherwise they’d want nothing to do with them if they’ve moved on. Good call!
@@sheloves3663 Yes! Tony says they like to keep us on their roster. Does not work for me. I’m good!
@@mymakersdaughter6041 Me neither! Never an option to a man but always the chosen one. Otherwise ✌🏽 lol
Chile an ex reached out to me on FB, and found out he’s getting married! I thought to myself, “sir you’re about to get married, what’s the point of contacting me!” 🙄
This is very true. I grew up with a lot of male peers because we went to school together from elementary all the way to college. None of them just wanted to be my friend after puberty. I was hurt because I really thought I could have genuine male friends. I learned that boundaries are a MUST because some ppl think you may be romantically interested in them, if you’re very friendly. To this day, I’ve never had a man not try me after we’ve known each other for a certain amount of time.
All my male friends confess to me they like me and want to be in a relationship 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
See.....
This guy doesnt admit. He blames me for praying that he should break up with his girlfriend to be with me. He says he has the gift of discernment and hear the spirit saying its me that wants him single for me. Is that true? Is he right? But I know he is not the one. I was being used on valentine's by him calling my best friend a liar.
38:56 WORD PER WORD what my ex told me when I brought up that I was uncomfortable w his “female best friend”.. you just confirmed that when a man gets defensive abt his female friend, it’s because he wants to sleep w her/wants more than a friendship w her. Always trust your gut ladies! It hurts to hear but it makes us stronger🙌🏼 stay strong my loves ❤️ never settle for a man that wont respect your boundaries
I just had to end my relationship because he would not understand my point of view about this. He called me too jealous, insecure, low self-esteem and crazy. He told me to either change my point of view or disappear from his life. Just the way he talked to me I felt it was best to block him everywhere. Unfortunately he did not love me enough it seems. He even used our diferent religion and culture but I just felt something really off.
@@barbaracristina1508 OMG that's so painful 💔😵 I empathize with you 100% !!! Going through the same thing for the last year or so up until now.. my bf has also said, that we need to break up if I cannot accept his female besties. 💔 you know the pain, sis...we don't have much choices when presented with something like this, do we? 💔🔥
He is telling the truth tho...😂😂 I’m the girl who friend zone quiet of bit guys .....and after a while they always Try to slide out of the zone and tell they true feelings.... I don’t even like being friends with guys because I already know what they here for but I just be trying to be nice
No... it doesn’t work that way. I had so called male friends. If there’s even a slight attraction, he will try🤔 Watch Tony’s last video. It can be a toxic person playing the role of a friend. Be blessed and stay safe. Got the lesson and some laughs. Always appreciated😂
My best buddy passed away in August-2020. We had been friends since we were 8-yrs old. Never, never did we cross that line, never dated either! We could talk about anything under the sun, especially about our Lord. I will miss him always.
I once had one of my older married male coworker tell me that men & women cannot be friends but in my mind i disagreed with him. He told me that men wait for the right moment. I was so naive, when other male made subliminal hints, i talked myself out of it & thought i was crazy lol🤣🤣we live & learn. Thanks for this video.
Tony's 💯 right! And Mrs. Gaskins is definitely right not having male friends in marriage, both of them operate in integrity. I honestly don't have male friends because what goes unchecked before marriage will go unchecked in marriage. And all that male female energy gets messy. If a man tells me we're friends, I'm like,,,uuuuhhh, no we not cause if you had your chance, my L-3, L-4 would get twisted, broken and busted! I know that! Thank you Tony for another amazing one!
Wow you changed my perspective on male friends....
Me too
It's all true every word. There is no emotional intimacy between a couple cause their "platonic" best friend gets that part of your partner and have the nerve to be angry at you when you dare question them about the level of communication, texts, phone calls, FaceTime, Facebook, dinner, shining knight helpy helper. They don't have time for a commitment with you.
💯💯💯
I like that back out/fall back role play at minute 59. It could save a lot of people, a lot of trouble.
OMG my hubby would argue with me cuz he only has female friends. Thank you for speaking out the truth! Yes everything came out as you said it.
Do those female friends secretly like him?
@@bennir3297 at present, can two animal such as a lame and a lion be friends? Well, if they were raised together at a very young age then yes they can bond and form friendship.
@@disnalee yep true
Its true Tony..But these women "friends" be having ulterior motives as well. I think the main takeaway is anyone talking about having a friend of the opposite sex while they trying to be in a relationship, they gotta go.
A man can be friends with a woman if a lion can be friends with a lamb.
😂😂😂😂
😂
Yep
🤣🤣🤣The way I just hollered because I literally visioned this. All facts!!!!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 yup
I CAN"T WITH THIS MAN!!!
The faces, the sound effects, the demonstrations!! He's too much!!
But your servitude is much appreciated!! God has blessed you and your family and may He continue to always do so!
Lust ain’t nothing to play with or take lightly. It’s subtle
I've known my fiance since i was 12, attraction was always there but we lived our own lives.
Nope! I learned a hard lesson last year...these guys do NOT want to be your "just" your friends. I recently ended a 25 year friendship. I don't even care anymore. It's pathetic.
I learned the hard way last year too. As soon as I got single and poured my heart out to my friend, he made his move. I was still hurting. I honestly thought men and women could be friends. I grew up with 4 older brothers and no sisters. I grew up with no female cousins and my brother’s friends. My “friend” made a hard move on me. He’s been friend zoned for now.
Yes these men will patiently wait and make their move. I have never had any male friends who didn't finally come out and admit they wanted more than just a friendship with me. Even the married ones I had wanted to sleep with me but I never went there with any of my friends. If you want to be more than friends then you should have never tried to approach me with that "just friends" business from the get go!!! Gone bout yo business!!!
I just had this conversation with a friend who is about to marry a man with a female 'best friend" who has caused some discontent in their marriage planning. Thanks Tony for reaffirming what I was telling my friend.
I’m no longer blocking my blessings giving my love to my guy best friend. It’s toxic any man that will get u in bed if they had the opportunity to is not your real friend, they using u. Sure feelings are there 14 years of friendship I know he has feelings for me but he has so many vices I can’t keep putting my time and energy in that.. I want a husband
Go get your husband. Good luck 🍀
Right? I’ve stopped going out with my guy friend of 7 years bc the moment I was single he expressed feelings for me and I realized that each time we go out together, that’s blocking any men from approaching me. If he could he would take me out each weekend, but I had to shut that down.
Re: Husband So true you’re worth it! This manipulation taking advantage of your loneliness & blocking your opportunity to find love ❤️ when you really think about it, it’s quite dark... & that isn’t friend that’s a creature using you to fill the gaps in his life due to his arrested development due to him not being able to commit himself to an adult relationship, such a boy with tings!!
The key word for you is “vices” and you should not want to spend too much time with a friend of either sex that has too many vices that could influence you in a negative sense.
My Grandma always said don't be jumping in cars with strangers and never trust a man and never look a man in the face eye to eye so I always held on to that cause grandma always said never let a man see your smile and don't be out here all up in no man face smiling misleading them on tempting them or given them the wrong impression
This is one of the best videos I've seen about having friends of the opposite sex from A to Z.
It's not about being insecure it's about having wisdom.
I only need to be best friends with the man of whom we both mutually chose to be exclusive and on our way to the altar...once you've encountered your spouse to be, then the search ends immediately. Just make sure the guy or gal you're trying to befriend or latch onto is single and not taken in some form or fashion...this will eliminate any unnecessary drama!!!!
Only a man know how a man thinks. Thank you T for keeping it 100 real.
Yes this was my last relationship. My ex played that sick game and it left me feeling exhausted and insecure. Never again… thank you TG!
I stopped datimg this guy cause je was always talking about his female best friend, i cant deal with that, it was so clear he loves her.
I totally agree no "friendships" of the opposite sex! 💯
Friends relations between men and women are possible. According to Professor Sandra Faulkner of Bowling Green University, it is nonsense that men and women cannot be friends. “It's all part of a heteronormative script,” she explains. "If you go from that script, every time you think of a man and a woman being together, you would assume it's in a romantic setting. That's because of that script. But a lot of us don't go that way." one script." Faulkner is an expert on gender and sexuality. She explains that the idea behind that script can be traced back to the idea that a heterosexual relationship between a man and a woman is the highest form of social interaction. "It's based on the assumption that everyone is heterosexual; that romantic relationships are more important than your other relationships. It's a cult idea of romance - the idea that a romantic relationship is all you need."
But in real life, a relationship with someone doesn't have to be that way. A sincere and long-lasting friendship between a man and a woman can transcend a romantic relationship. "One of the reasons we think men and women can't be friends is because we're taught to look for romantic opportunities within our friend groups. Then we return to Faulkner's cult idea of (heterosexual) romance. "Certainly for women," Faulkner argues, "there is an image that you necessarily have to have a romantic relationship. Pop culture confirms that image." For example, through a show such as Friends, in which the main characters have relationships with each other. But if you start looking for loved ones mainly within your group of friends, it often ends up being just as wonderful as script writers would like you to believe. "A year and a half ago I had a relationship with a good friend of mine," Tim says. “That became a fucking nightmare and it was extremely difficult to get over.”
Absolutely right TG I’ve never had women /man at my house when I was married. My married friend may she Rest In Peace I was never at her house around her husband unless it was a family gathering period. That’s just me even in relationships never had women at my house period . You be surprised how they fake jealousy will come upon them because they have no man or husband 😩🤮😒
On the shirt order, no need to worry. We had an ice and snow storm in Arkansas so the mail hasn’t been delivered this whole week. I’ll be happy whenever it gets here.
Sometimes couples are friends before a relationship
True , when a man steps to a woman he already has an idea what he wants From her and let’s be truthful, it’s the physical attraction. Men are moved by what they See.
@@LA-wv7gf those are the exceptions and I think they both know what’s up even if it’s not what happens right away. They both still move purely as friends-nothing more and no FWB.
You are a blessing from God to all women's that are listening. Thank you Tony
Don’t ever change Tony 👏🏾👏🏾
I can say I’ve had male friends I could feel they wanted something more. But it never happened I ignored it because I didn’t feel the same .
Right...because you stopped it !
Friends relations between men and women are possible. According to Professor Sandra Faulkner of Bowling Green University, it is nonsense that men and women cannot be friends. “It's all part of a heteronormative script,” she explains. "If you go from that script, every time you think of a man and a woman being together, you would assume it's in a romantic setting. That's because of that script. But a lot of us don't go that way." one script." Faulkner is an expert on gender and sexuality. She explains that the idea behind that script can be traced back to the idea that a heterosexual relationship between a man and a woman is the highest form of social interaction. "It's based on the assumption that everyone is heterosexual; that romantic relationships are more important than your other relationships. It's a cult idea of romance - the idea that a romantic relationship is all you need."
But in real life, a relationship with someone doesn't have to be that way. A sincere and long-lasting friendship between a man and a woman can transcend a romantic relationship. "One of the reasons we think men and women can't be friends is because we're taught to look for romantic opportunities within our friend groups. Then we return to Faulkner's cult idea of (heterosexual) romance. "Certainly for women," Faulkner argues, "there is an image that you necessarily have to have a romantic relationship. Pop culture confirms that image." For example, through a show such as Friends, in which the main characters have relationships with each other. But if you start looking for loved ones mainly within your group of friends, it often ends up being just as wonderful as script writers would like you to believe. "A year and a half ago I had a relationship with a good friend of mine," Tim says. “That became a fucking nightmare and it was extremely difficult to get over.”
To any woman that watched this video! This man is telling 1000% TRUTH! As a MAN I endorse this message.
😂😂😂😂Tony knows how to play out the role of a situation well
Everything has been said and it’s refreshing to hear and read comments from people that see the danger in this. It’s not jealousy and insecurity. It’s wisdom and respect for your significant other. Great video.
He speaking facts I’m a man!! View Steve J friends with Biggie and Faith Evans (Biggie Ex wife) and other friends for years!
I was in a relationship with someone who exchanged numbers with a long lost "cousin at his aunts funeral" low and behold 2 weeks later he was talking texting visiting her every day trying to get this cousin help all the time with everything. Turns out they were smashing.....don't put nothing past a man whose spirit has not been renewed. He can't even trust himself.....
EW
“I’m big bro for a reason!” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
You just dissected all my PAST male friends !!
This is exactly why my husband and I are getting a divorce. My husband told someone that “No one will come in between me and my friends!” It’s not right.
He and his “best friend!” Can have each other. He tried to make me feel I was crazy and needed mental help. He tried to destroy me because my intuition was on point. I didn’t know the game years ago but I have learned. I wanted to believe they were just friends but I had to remember I had to discover her. She was a secret. But Tony took it to the next level. Opposite sex can’t just be friends.
My spouse of 20 years defends that “ sinful relationship” with all he has but now I don’t care.
Dang I’m sorry to hear
My ex boyfriend did the same. I dodged that bullet. I’m very sorry U went through that. .
@@AliveBlessedGrateful hey, sis, just wanted to say - you got a really beautiful username..💯🙌🏻
Yes! I needed this one today. This was ONE of MANY reasons I broke up with my baby daddy last year.
9 months free from him..from put downs, being secretive ect.. ...3 kids he doesn't see opening my eyes day by day God bless
@@rosezarco9185 god bless you! I’m almost 3 months free. Not turning back now.
Stay strong. Many blessings to you!!
Yes your so correct!!! But my ex didn’t see it he said I was jealous ! Lord knows I had no piece of jealousy at all it was more about the respect she would call all day while I was with him and when I asked him to tell her respect our time he got really mad at me and it seem like after that he started talking to her even more !
Yesss! Same with my ex boyfriend & his friend/biz partner. And he would always say it was about trusting him 🙄
@@AliveBlessedGrateful right I trust you but I ain’t no fool
My ex too! This is signs of a man who truly hates you.
@@AlessandrasArt smh why they won’t just date EACH OTHER AND
My late husband would always say a man and woman could never be just friend ....... I didn’t truly understand the logic then, but you have really put it in perspective ....... just as how my late husband did........ now I really get it
" I ordered my shirt 76 hours ago and it aint here yet" .... I can't with TG 😂😂😂😂😭😭😭😂😂
Yep. Every male friend I’ve had has tried to kiss me, make sexual innuendos, tell me that they like me, steer me wrong so I wouldn’t date other men, or just enjoyed my attractiveness/ energy. There was no level of genuine connection trying to be formed. After I left my old job two male coworkers, married, messaged me asking to sleep with me. It’s always the coworkers
Wow! What I'm hearing is shocking. I've never thought about it like that before. I have some male friends that I've had since grammar school and I'm 51 and I never thought of anything like this.
They can be friends, but they cannot be close....I have a best friend of 20 years but I must admit...being close would ruin things....she is attractive and I am charming to most women. I once proposed to her out of pure insanity and we once played spin the bottle in jr high school. We only speak once a month or so now, but if we hung out even once a week or were alone enough, I am pretty sure something would happen. It just isn't possible if the two people were alone enough, the attraction is too strong...there are no red lights strong enough to stop you both, its the strongest of attraction despite reasoning.
Thank you for your honesty.
I’m here because I’ve been best friends with my friend for 10 years. I’ve recently come to love him romantically but he says he loves me to death, just not romantically. I just don’t see why friends can’t grow into something more. I refuse to settle for just friends so I’m walking away. He’s upset about it and thinks I should stay but if he got a gf he’d leave me. Why wait until then? He said there were times he wanted me but I didn’t want him back those times. It was only a couple times though.
"Come on Becky" took me out, lmbo.
Hey blessed tribe!!! ❤
Man, Tony, now I got to cut off a brother/sister relationship for 8 years. But I ain't going to lie you are preaching the truth cause something similar happen to me of a friendship with a guy from my high school. We even went to the same college, and I noticed I was unconsciously attracted to him and dreaming about him. I had to cut it off because I did not see myself with him; I believe he was attracted to me but not on a best friend level or sister level. But, I firmly stated we are only friends, not going toward a relationship. So, he went on his separate path with his girlfriend and me on my journey of healing. Though the guy I am friends with now for 8 years who I thought of like a brother, I might need to cut him off too because we had hung out for my birthday and went to dave buster's together, and I just did not feel right because he has a girlfriend. And I am not with the drama, so it is best I just stick to my female friends and stop living in the mind frame that men and women can be best friends for life.
Well my Ex claims he was bestfriend with his childrens mother. Who called everyday & their children are 30
27 & 24yrs.old. Now Mr. GASKIN what do they have to talk about?? I 'll wait!!
Got you one better. My ex- grown boy talked or texted his ex-wife everyday and they do NOT have children together. So, what are they talking about🤔. I told him it was not working for me. He continued to do it. Gone bout yo business👋🏾!!!
@@mymakersdaughter6041 hate to hear this . Like wt heck?? My 2 sons are 31 & 25. I don't talk to their dad for nothing. There's No Bad Blood. I respect his women & they are Whole young men.
@@stephaniethomas91 Exactly! He rarely talks to his ex-wife that he has children with so you know it’s odd for him to talk to his ex-wife that he doesn’t have kids with. Boy please!
@@LA-wv7gf FACTSSSSS!! Thats the only Time .
Made up drama about their children. Both are bench warmers for a drought and strengthening each other’s soul ties.
You are so right about men and women being friends. That's why I personally don't believe that men and women can be friends. Because a man will wait forever to try you especially if they're attractive to them. Tony, you may think that I'm crazy , but I believe and think that I think like a man and I act like a lady. I'm very much intuned with the human mind! Blessings to you and your beautiful family .
Ladies, your true girlfriends would not find themselves at all drawn to your husband/boyfriend. Gents, your true homies don't at all have desires for your wife/girlfriend. Now, your colleagues and casual associates are the ones you need to watch out for. They front like they are cool when all the while they want your significant other 🙄😏😯. Married, engaged, or taken men are not my forte no matter how fine they are. I've never been the type to be attracted to or hit on some other woman's man...reason why is because I've always wanted my own 😁.
Even true girlfriends and homies are human and flawed. Give them enough access & they can develop lust, jealousy, & inappropriate feelings for our partner. It is best to keep strict boundaries.