Can you be friends with your Ex? | Tony Gaskins

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  • Опубликовано: 3 окт 2024
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Комментарии • 1 тыс.

  • @rayfeaster4969
    @rayfeaster4969 4 года назад +873

    My ex-fiancé broke up with me and married someone else 5 months afterwards. Very painful 💔. During that 5 months he would call and text, but I did not respond. I went full no contact. Even after his "marriage" he has still reached out. I blocked him! God recently brought someone amazing and BETTER into my life and I've found happiness again. You MUST let that door stay closed or it will tie you up!!

    • @bernaldulce
      @bernaldulce 4 года назад +31

      Thank you for this! My ex fiancé just broke up with me if 5yrs so imma just remain closing that door

    • @marybenford
      @marybenford 4 года назад +31

      @Ms Ray The counterfeit before the covenant! I'm glad you waited for God's best!! Blessings!!

    • @aishacansler8183
      @aishacansler8183 4 года назад +23

      I have a similar story. I have no grudge but I am not interested in contact at all. I don't want any mixed misconceptions or ideas that there might me a chance. It is OVER. That must be understood. I'm happy now.

    • @bernaldulce
      @bernaldulce 4 года назад +7

      Aisha Cansler I get it!! In my case idk I just feel like it’s not over and we made a mistake by walking away, but I’m not going to change anyone’s mind and I never will so I’m going to continue to grieve and continue to allow God to do his thing

    • @nellyp5997
      @nellyp5997 4 года назад +5

      Wow. That is so tough! Thank Good you got through it 🙏🏼

  • @tanitrarobinson7477
    @tanitrarobinson7477 4 года назад +522

    When you take out the trash you don't go back and get it.

    • @ericabostwick4033
      @ericabostwick4033 4 года назад +1

      TaNitra Robinson yes and amen sis

    • @rjefferson3966
      @rjefferson3966 4 года назад +3

      Ooh yes I love this one 💚

    • @BMarie08
      @BMarie08 4 года назад +3

      A message ! 💯

    • @adel8632
      @adel8632 4 года назад +1

      Maybe you date trash, but I don't. I don't understand that kind of disdain for a man.

    • @tanitrarobinson7477
      @tanitrarobinson7477 4 года назад +13

      @@adel8632 not here to defend or explain. You have the ability and power to keep it moving if it doesn't apply to you....Stay blessed Queen.

  • @andthnwat
    @andthnwat 4 года назад +486

    Short answer: No
    Long answer: Nope

  • @rjefferson3966
    @rjefferson3966 4 года назад +422

    It's a no for me. When I am done I don't go backwards nor do I want to be a friend. You wasn't a friend in the relationship so just accept the loss.

    • @shirlsshirls8594
      @shirlsshirls8594 4 года назад +4

      R Jefferson 🙌🏾

    • @DynamicallyDC
      @DynamicallyDC 4 года назад +21

      I feel the same 🙌🏾...if you didn't have my best interests then, you won't have them after the fact.

    • @rjefferson3966
      @rjefferson3966 4 года назад +3

      @@DynamicallyDC I completely agree with you 💯

    • @trishataylor2837
      @trishataylor2837 4 года назад +3

      I guess i really was not his friend because I was the transparent one. I never had any trouble being honest and open. He on the other hand has this silence about him. A close offness not wanting to share what he goes through. it's so frustrating when someone you love does not want to be accountable.

    • @merlinsvdd
      @merlinsvdd 3 года назад

      @@trishataylor2837 true. You apologize and say you forgive him but no word comes out of his mouth.

  • @Moonpiebye
    @Moonpiebye 4 года назад +314

    Listen up LADIES..if a man run up in another woman ..he just showed you the true colors NEVER GO BACK .DO NOT GIVE SECOND CHANCES.. COMMON SENSE 2020💥💥💥💥

    • @14kurtismiller
      @14kurtismiller 4 года назад +31

      And never think that your his friend or anything more than a second opportunity. You break your own heart before any man can. You either stay with a man when you clearly see he's no good, or you fool yourself into thinking he sticks around to be your friend. A man who won't let go is a man that can't say no if the opportunity presents itself for him to be with you sexually.

    • @Glamrocs
      @Glamrocs 4 года назад +1

      Facts..

    • @remainhumble6654
      @remainhumble6654 4 года назад +1

      Amen...so true.

    • @kay-annclarke9501
      @kay-annclarke9501 4 года назад +4

      Ladies. If you want to learn. You better listen to this man.

    • @akuasalaam490
      @akuasalaam490 4 года назад

      You said that!!!

  • @Moonpiebye
    @Moonpiebye 4 года назад +224

    You can not be friends with someone you want to have sexual realtions with..FOLKS stop with the cuddy buddy mess..😎 be by yourself for yourself and chill ..date yourself 🤑.

    • @tanitrarobinson7477
      @tanitrarobinson7477 4 года назад +10

      Been saying the same thing...enjoy yourself!

    • @ingood0867
      @ingood0867 4 года назад +5

      Yes, people look at me like I have 3 heads when I say I don't stay friends with exes. You leave me, you just left. 🤷‍♀️

    • @tanitrarobinson7477
      @tanitrarobinson7477 4 года назад

      @@ingood0867 lol lol I agree!

    • @Joycelang2495
      @Joycelang2495 4 года назад

      Keep up the good work .

  • @betterhealth1651
    @betterhealth1651 4 года назад +74

    Relationships are too complicated Tony. I am only 22 years old, i am too young for this. Bye

    • @xxqueenofdarkness
      @xxqueenofdarkness 5 месяцев назад +2

      If I knew these things at 22.... Giiirl ;-;

  • @Wealthybaby
    @Wealthybaby 4 года назад +119

    When an X tries to act or even attempt like we’re friends I get offended. like do I look stupid 🤨 don’t play with me sir. You are now another stranger on the street. good luck in life. Don’t contact me.

    • @geegar3825
      @geegar3825 4 года назад +4

      Fancy Pants it is offensive. especially when they only came back because the person they left you for left them for someone else.

    • @tk567
      @tk567 3 года назад

      Facts!!!! By the way you’re so beautiful 😊 🔥

  • @beverlycrittendon4495
    @beverlycrittendon4495 4 года назад +134

    "Men hate rejection"

  • @14kurtismiller
    @14kurtismiller 4 года назад +409

    You can't be friends with your ex, one or both are on stand by for whenever the other person comes back for sex, emotional support and more. Those things should be shared with your new partner not some past love. Some people who hold onto being friends with their ex, are not really into their new partner and holding onto hope for the past being rekindled. This does not give either persons new relationship a really good try.

    • @laina1976
      @laina1976 4 года назад +3

      Well said.

    • @dbedazzling1
      @dbedazzling1 4 года назад

      Yes they need options

    • @butterflytv3194
      @butterflytv3194 4 года назад

      Facts

    • @ingood0867
      @ingood0867 4 года назад +12

      Exactly,I never saw the purpose remaining friends.

    • @grand_air_trine_astro
      @grand_air_trine_astro 4 года назад +15

      You are spot on! I walked away from guy who was ‘best friends’ with his ‘ex’ he has kids with but it was way more than kids talk he’d hang out at her house, take the family on holidays in 2018/2019, dinners, etc she wouldn’t move on and he wouldn’t commit to me. She kicked his ass out initially than year later she found out about me and wanted him back so I got dumped. I was told they were split up years ago (lie of course) and I had no reason to think otherwise as they live apart. One thing for certain he lost me for good. I’m not like the ‘ex’ I don’t take him back I respect myself and learned many valuable lessons.

  • @natashadunbar6330
    @natashadunbar6330 2 года назад +78

    He doesn't want you.
    He wants the woman that he's with...he just wants to be in your life. 💥

    • @shevettejackson.
      @shevettejackson. 2 года назад +4

      But why??

    • @ADayInTheLifeOfJames
      @ADayInTheLifeOfJames Месяц назад

      @@shevettejackson. it doesn’t matter why… What matters is the reason you’re asking instead of moving forward?

    • @shevettejackson.
      @shevettejackson. Месяц назад

      @@ADayInTheLifeOfJames I wasn't asking a question sweetie I was responding to somebody else question.

  • @MichaeldBenefield
    @MichaeldBenefield 4 года назад +311

    Dont block your blessings, fear will try to keep you holding on to things for a backup. Let go and move forward. I've been happily married 8yrs, and tony is being 100% LISTEN TO MEH NAH (IN TONY'S VOICE)😂🙏✊🏾

    • @butterflytv3194
      @butterflytv3194 4 года назад +6

      Well said "don't block your blessings"

    • @merlinsvdd
      @merlinsvdd 3 года назад +3

      Amen.

    • @8lack8erry1
      @8lack8erry1 3 года назад +2

      😂

    • @MichaeldBenefield
      @MichaeldBenefield 3 года назад +3

      @Hesonmymind very true! Don’t be an option. You deserve to be a priority.

    • @triciamokoena3156
      @triciamokoena3156 2 года назад +3

      I wish I knew this before ! I kept being friends with my ex and even told him openly I'm still having feelings for him.
      But for some months now I was listening a bit on a relationship channel once in a while and realized my error.
      I got empowered. He even commented that I have changed.
      I went ahead to block him on my phone and presently am working on being the best version of myself.
      The beauty of it is : I like what I see in me and you won't believe it, I'm over sixty.

  • @MsChantae
    @MsChantae 4 года назад +255

    Cordial. Associates. If you're talking to your ex every day, that's stupidity. That's stupidity and it's weakness - because you don't need your ex in your life! You're blocking your blessings! You can't even experience and realise the fullness of LOVE...because your energy is still tied to your EX! That's what you have to understand. Barren. Empty. An empty vessel. You are still focused and tied to your EX! If your ex is in a new relationship and still talking to you...Yes! Your ex is absolutely hindering his/her r/s. Soul ties. Get with your ex or focus on your NEXT!!! Thanks, Tony!! The guy I was dating is still "friends" with his ex...This video was very insightful and informative :)

    • @tejuanahardison7516
      @tejuanahardison7516 4 года назад +4

      Ms Chantaé say it louder!

    • @Spark_Grace
      @Spark_Grace 4 года назад +2

      On point!!!!👌🏽

    • @queenofthesouth4205
      @queenofthesouth4205 4 года назад +5

      Let the church say Amen!!!

    • @sharonbarclay9840
      @sharonbarclay9840 4 года назад +4

      I’m going through the same thing with my news man. I’m not friends with none of my ex but he is. I spoke on it but he’s not hearing me. I ordered Tony and his wife book and I know whatever advice I can use I’m going to.

    • @MsChantae
      @MsChantae 4 года назад +1

      @@sharonbarclay9840 Hey, Girl!! Happy Easter 🐰 Wishing you all the best. Don't settle 🐣

  • @thecalmingspace7242
    @thecalmingspace7242 Год назад +19

    My exes all treated me horribly. I worked on myself. Met my husband and got married. AS SOON AS I GOT MARRIED, two of my exes got back in contact with me, even if they were also married themselves. My husband and I made a decision not to even have exes any where near us in our lives. Like a general " no ex" rule and we have had a thriving marriage since.
    I just basically don't see where exes " fit" in a marriage and why you would hold on to them. It makes absolute no sense to me whatsoever

  • @breewright8702
    @breewright8702 4 года назад +148

    Exes are Exes for a reason.....Stay Gone!
    Can we be friends-No
    Can I call You-Neaux
    Can We Meet Up-Nope

    • @Liimoncello
      @Liimoncello 4 года назад +7

      Bree Wright Preach, sis!

    • @marybenford
      @marybenford 4 года назад +9

      😂😂😂😭😭😭😭@Neaux

    • @patriciawatkins8248
      @patriciawatkins8248 4 года назад +8

      @bree wright- You are Absolutely correct. Don't go back it will backfire! I tried it a few times never ended well.

    • @abigailkamara2675
      @abigailkamara2675 4 года назад +1

      Bree Wright I don’t do that exes thing it’s past boyfriend/girlfriend

    • @Shay4YourMind81
      @Shay4YourMind81 4 года назад +3

      "Neaux" 😁😂🤣

  • @jessybil
    @jessybil 4 года назад +69

    I'm the type of person to ignore your entire existence, if we break up. Sometimes you just have to cut off what is holding you back like the good book says.

  • @KrystleLaughter
    @KrystleLaughter 4 года назад +170

    Anyone elelse hit the like button before the video even starts. 😂

    • @rozh8321
      @rozh8321 4 года назад +4

      🙋..point blank perioadd.

    • @Glamrocs
      @Glamrocs 4 года назад +1

      Krystle Laughter
      Every time

    • @lillianthomas9046
      @lillianthomas9046 4 года назад +2

      Ummmmmm...not as SOON as the video starts...l ll give in a 5 min run first🤣🤣🤣...smile

    • @kikinyte6806
      @kikinyte6806 4 года назад

      Always

    • @et427
      @et427 4 года назад

      Yep every time!

  • @joyleneyork6540
    @joyleneyork6540 4 года назад +108

    I don't want to ever be friends with my ex matter fact I got them on block both of them

    • @Liimoncello
      @Liimoncello 4 года назад +7

      Joylene Robertson YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!

    • @mrs.camillewarrenempress3115
      @mrs.camillewarrenempress3115 4 года назад +8

      Same here. My ex try to come back but in a whole another relationship and expose it on social media .. smh. Focusing on my kids and family God

    • @sharicebryant8149
      @sharicebryant8149 4 года назад +10

      Same. A lot of men think blocking is childish and shows that we still care but it’s honestly for our own healing and breaking the soul tie, especially if they were ever physical with us.

    • @bernaldulce
      @bernaldulce 4 года назад +6

      I blocked my ex fiancé of 5yrs 🤷🏽‍♀️ oh well my sister said I was bold for doing that and I’m like well oh well lol I can’t be friends with him! Mainly because I’ll probably want to hurt him so this way I’m safe lol

    • @joyleneyork6540
      @joyleneyork6540 4 года назад +6

      @@bernaldulce a lot of times you have to block him because you need to heal and move on with your life

  • @Glamrocs
    @Glamrocs 4 года назад +159

    Like my mommy said “ Do you drink your own vomit “? That’s what you’re doing when you take a man back.

  • @marishalewis484
    @marishalewis484 4 года назад +147

    Love is a gamble. A relationship is a gamble & sometimes you lose. If you have lost-move on~Tony Gaskins

    • @dimediamond
      @dimediamond 4 года назад +7

      Every loss is not a loss ❤

    • @marishalewis484
      @marishalewis484 4 года назад +6

      Dimepiece 954 True Lady. I don’t even look at things as a loss-I figure out the lesson 😉

    • @dimediamond
      @dimediamond 4 года назад +4

      @@marishalewis484 take your losses in private. ❤ its a much better outcome. ❤

  • @marybenford
    @marybenford 4 года назад +233

    Some people (women) never had control in the relationship, so they feel flattered when their ex wants to stay in touch, then manipulates by dipping in and out of their life, often preventing them from moving on. Staying "friends" for the kids is not being mature, it's misleading to them. You don't have to be hateful or angry, but if someone betrays you, breaks a covenant/commitment, they're NOT your friend. Maintaining standards is the best lesson that you can teach your kids

    • @marybenford
      @marybenford 4 года назад +5

      @@kimberlybarry4744 absolutely. Don't voluntarily sign up for foolishness. I'm sorry you went thru that. There is sanity and decent people on the other side. Blessings, Sis!

    • @alamaurjones6338
      @alamaurjones6338 4 года назад

      💯💯💯

    • @lwontherez7927
      @lwontherez7927 2 года назад

      I’m SO GLAD you said this!!!

    • @brininahoward5445
      @brininahoward5445 2 года назад

      Children have to see what friendship is about and two people that have children can be friends and co-parents at the same time. Males and Females can still be friends, but your ex-fill in the blank, can be your friend in respects to your children seeing growth and understanding and teamwork from both parent (friends). Let's not get confused on friends and what that mean.

    • @ButterCookie1984
      @ButterCookie1984 Год назад

      Very well said!

  • @louwil67
    @louwil67 4 года назад +64

    Tony that revenge spirit is real. Some men will welcome you to come back and treat you worse than they did before you left. It’s not worth it. Cause if you as a woman left , you had a reason.

  • @Nekole1
    @Nekole1 4 года назад +124

    Once a relationship ends for me, then I dont see the need to keep the person around. I find that many people just want to be noisy and in your business and not in a good way. So I avoid all contact. Thats it for me. I dont see the need to keep communicating.

    • @preciousruby7265
      @preciousruby7265 4 года назад +24

      I cut all ties. Nobody gets special treatment. His other exes keep in touch not me! Dueces

    • @itsme3k
      @itsme3k 4 года назад +9

      You and me both girl. I'm such a witch if an ex calls me!

    • @nadinemartin9512
      @nadinemartin9512 2 года назад

      True

  • @chantemckeithan372
    @chantemckeithan372 Год назад +10

    If you didn't treat me right when we were together, then why would I need you as my friend? Nope, I'm good. Carry on.

  • @ebonyflowers7599
    @ebonyflowers7599 4 года назад +127

    Like Tony says, “y’all worried about the wrong thing.”

    • @14kurtismiller
      @14kurtismiller 4 года назад +4

      Its called being smart not worried. People often want what they can't have, thats why an ex tries to get back with you. When an ex doing bad relationship wise, or any aspect of their life you start to look a whole lot better to them. Suddenly everything you needed from them they are willing to do just to get back into your life. Half the exes you have were and are still jealous so they'll try to get back with you just to cause problems in your new relationship. Some people will lie forever pretending as if its a matter of confidence when you don't care if your current partner accepts you and your ex still communicating. If your not going to seek out advise from people who keep it real you will be the next person who gets back with their ex for a fling, or cheated on because your mate could not get over their past and give 1000% with you.

  • @cherh
    @cherh 4 года назад +103

    Why would you want to be friends with a guy that don't want you? Ask yourself that question. Okay bye 👋🏾😊🌸❤

    • @trishataylor2837
      @trishataylor2837 4 года назад +1

      Actually i HAVE asked my self this question Cher... just yesterday. Here is my answer. My ex is a creative musician and writes screen plays and songs. He is an attractive black American. He wants to be with me but i am too insecure to be his girlfriend or the wife he has asked me to be twice with an engagement ring!
      You see...when he is an extra in a movie or away doing his band gigs, he is gone sometimes for days. Surrounded by pretty actors i feel I can not trust him and wind up driving him and myself crazy with jealousy. He has cheated on his previous wives, so i found out, so all I do is feel upset when he is on those sets. He does not want to be accountable and so THAT doesn't work for me. So...I thought we should or could be friends because we sure have a great time no matter where we go! I sing as well and have already been in 2 of his plays. I feel he is not a "GODLY" man as i am a woman who loves the LORD more than him or anyone else. so do you see how I am thinking...maybe just being friends would work?

    • @cherh
      @cherh 3 года назад +2

      @@trishataylor2837 keyword ex. He's your ex for a reason. So you hangout with your ex knowing of all his past behaviors that's why you're afraid to be with him. That's why you're insecure. Sounds cool and all but why would you want to be friends with a person like that? He's a cheater, had multiple wives, & don't want to be held accountable. I wouldn't want that toxicity in my space. I wouldn't want that type of spirit around me. I would be his friend but distant friend. You being around him blocking you from what you're looking for in him.

  • @Moonpiebye
    @Moonpiebye 4 года назад +53

    NO YOU CAN NOT BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX 😂 FACTS 2020💥💥💥 NEVER MIX THE OLD WITH THE NEW LADIES💡BIG NO NO

  • @a1xluv
    @a1xluv 4 года назад +70

    You are ABSOLUTELY correct about men: they will stay with a woman who meets what he wants physically and she has a terrible attitude and does nothing he likes, over the one who loves him and treats him good, however, may not be what he wants physically! Sadly, they miss out on their true blessing! And yes, people marry for financial and looks! There’s so many shallow men out here still missing their rib! Many shallow women being abused missing out on a good man!

  • @AllThingsTiffanyTV
    @AllThingsTiffanyTV 4 года назад +68

    If he’s a Ex....BLOCKEDDDDDDTTTTTT.

  • @AngiePleasee
    @AngiePleasee 4 года назад +200

    Amennnnnnnnnn. I said this to my ex and he got so mad.
    If I want a serious relationship someday (with him or not), I need to clear that space for someone serious.
    Move on from that man. They ALL come back. No matter how long it takes. Stop worrying about that. Leave for YOU! And be serious about it. Honestly the more days he doesn’t “come back”, the easier it is to move on.

    • @andreasteptoe1965
      @andreasteptoe1965 4 года назад +4

      Amen

    • @suzy1750
      @suzy1750 3 года назад +10

      I've found this is true. If you leave with dignity and don't look back, the guy usually does come back at some point (assuming it was a good relationship). Of course, you usually don't want him by that point anyway but gotta admit that there is still satisfaction in it!

    • @MultiTasker888
      @MultiTasker888 Год назад +1

      They all come back? Sounds pretty ignorant 😂 goes both ways I don't reach out to my exes

    • @AngiePleasee
      @AngiePleasee Год назад +2

      @@MultiTasker888 great for you. To think anyone else is like you us ignorant. They always come back. Good day.

    • @gabesdaddyjamar
      @gabesdaddyjamar Год назад

      @@AngiePleasee im like him! I don't reach out either. Once I'm gone I'm gooonnne!

  • @1qbee403
    @1qbee403 4 года назад +66

    Wow ! Needed this... I’ve been so stuck. He’ gave me mixed signals for 2 years, truth is, he tolerated me, but didn’t value me. He only seen me when it was convenient for him! This is very much my fault, I allowed this to go on too long. Finally... I’m waking up, still hard. Slowly moving forward. Wishing him the best and hope he finds what he didn’t see in me 💓

    • @mulalomercytshivhilinge4913
      @mulalomercytshivhilinge4913 4 года назад +2

      I was in the same dilemma for 2.5 years. Multiple on and off, and finally I decided to move on. I now have a good guy. Now my ex wants to come back.

    • @infamousnikkicole4946
      @infamousnikkicole4946 4 года назад +5

      The best feeling is when you wake up out of a relationship

    • @nadinemartin9512
      @nadinemartin9512 2 года назад +3

      Don't blame yourself. He took your kindness for weakness. Your a wonderful person and you deserve better.

    • @NTUNKNOWN
      @NTUNKNOWN 2 года назад +1

      My ex and I were "friends" on and off for a year after our "relationship". Today I've decided to really end it. Been crying the whole day but I'm strong. I can handle this. His loss not mine.

  • @Latinaperspective
    @Latinaperspective 4 года назад +167

    One thing I’ve noticed about girls in their 30’s who have never been married or had kids are those stuck on an ex. That ex is usually the one standing in the doorway blocking traffic, refusing to come in or out your life. I was in that position for almost 10 years. I even used to play around saying “ Are you contacting me for a fix or something.” Because after contacting me he would distance himself again. Thanks to your videos I’ve learned to ignore his texts and calls and plan to keep it that way forever.

    • @kikinyte6806
      @kikinyte6806 4 года назад +6

      I second that 🙋🏿‍♀️ was stuck for 3 years... Focusing on the next ❤️

    • @p.s.3982
      @p.s.3982 4 года назад +2

      Awesome....Don't give in.....

    • @afrohersheys22
      @afrohersheys22 4 года назад +1

      KiKi Nyte same!! Been on standby for three years...smh

    • @tracirowland3353
      @tracirowland3353 4 года назад +2

      It's them 40 and 50 year old women too. Smdh!!

    • @Latinaperspective
      @Latinaperspective 4 года назад

      Traci Rowland 😅

  • @jackksterr
    @jackksterr 3 года назад +28

    I’d rather mop the ocean before I ever think about being friends with an ex. If it’s over, it’s over. Including us talking. Period. No hard feelings. Just wouldn’t want my future man still in contact with his ex. Why not live my truth so future bae respects my standards bc he sees I’m a living testimony. ✌🏼

    • @Jazzy_Elevations
      @Jazzy_Elevations 3 года назад

      Girl I'm dealing w this crap now, working on an exit plan. He has the exes who just like to "check up" on him. It's turned into secret almost daily txt msgs saying "I wish you could show me the love you have now" from the ex. So yeah, for him to entertain to defines our relationship

  • @beverlycrittendon4495
    @beverlycrittendon4495 4 года назад +61

    Going back to an ex is like eating a steak dinner on back of trash can lid!

  • @nathalia504
    @nathalia504 4 года назад +52

    This was truly powerful! For some women who've been done wrong, it seems validating when an ex tried to come back. It gives them validation that they were not the problem. However, you dont need validation from a person who probably never valued you anyway. You are enough sis! Fix your crown and move forward.

  • @rara2202
    @rara2202 4 года назад +49

    I definitely experienced leaving a good guy and then tried to come back . He played me the whole time 🤷🏾‍♀️ lesson learned

  • @lizzylewis5793
    @lizzylewis5793 4 года назад +28

    Lawd, I dont know why men were created like this...they are so confusing, lol smh.

  • @MsBdoll87
    @MsBdoll87 4 года назад +69

    Wow! My ex reached out to me a yr after our break up. I asked God what to do, my devotional was about leaving the past behind and the scripture was Isaiah 43:18-19. I log on to You Tube and see this message from you! Thank you for being obedient! God is good! I got a lot of answers from this!

  • @Coolct
    @Coolct 4 года назад +28

    All my life I liked to cut off.. people tried to tell me I cut too quick but if I see foolishness there’s no need in hanging on ... he wasn’t serious I was .. moved on✌🏾

  • @sincerelysandrea7857
    @sincerelysandrea7857 4 года назад +100

    Ladies this is some valuable information okkkk! And in addition to what Tony said about the reason your ex is with someone else, the other reason could be because that woman is allowing the disrespect and grown boy behavior that you decided to no longer tolerate. Never let a man think you need him because he’ll automatically put you in the desperate category. You have to tell yourself you are good regardless. As long as you got God that’s all you need! 💯💯💯

    • @coveredinthebloodofjesus9214
      @coveredinthebloodofjesus9214 4 года назад +3

      Queen Drea I needed to hear this.

    • @sincerelysandrea7857
      @sincerelysandrea7857 4 года назад +7

      V. Marie No problem! We may not know eachother personally but we’re all apart of the blessed tribe and we are God’s daughters and deserve nothing but the best💖

    • @coveredinthebloodofjesus9214
      @coveredinthebloodofjesus9214 4 года назад +2

      Queen Drea Aaaamen!

    • @sincerelysandrea7857
      @sincerelysandrea7857 4 года назад +4

      Shawny Love You’re so welcome!😉 You’re not the only one trust me. I’ve been in a place where I felt like I needed validation too. It’s in our nature to want to be validated and receive words of affirmation but the important thing to think about first is who is that validation coming from? Someone that cares about you and has your best interest at heart? If not then we need to keep it moving. It’s okay to appreciate compliments but be mindful of looking for validation from just anyone😊 You validate yourself and speak life into yourself. You are good enough, you are beautiful, God didn’t make a mistake when he formed you and you’re special to him. As long as you keep those things in mind you won’t need anyone else’s opinion. Remember who God says you are! He loves you more than you know!🥰💜💖

    • @coveredinthebloodofjesus9214
      @coveredinthebloodofjesus9214 4 года назад

      Queen Drea A guy I was talking to you, (who I had a great friendship with over 15 years ago and reconnected with), told me I was physically ugly. I had bronchitis that was trying to turn into pneumonia and while FaceTiming he took photos of me, and later told me my photos were ugly. No man has ever called me ugly in my life. It hurt my heart because of the history we had. I’m a Christian but at that point I had a strong urge to reach through the phone and punch him in the face, because he took pictures of me without my knowledge. It’s made feel a tiny bit self conscious.

  • @csandusky3734
    @csandusky3734 4 года назад +23

    Thank you for bringing clarity to my life! Been messing with a guy that refuses to cut ties with his ex. He turns it around on me saying I have trust issues. Your videos gave me the strength to leave him and not buy into his excuses anymore.

  • @tbrown567
    @tbrown567 4 года назад +41

    You and your wife are so cute. God bless your family!

  • @malindachantelle4706
    @malindachantelle4706 4 года назад +29

    If you still have feelings I say no. This has happened to me. When my ex came back around I was so happy but after awhile I noticed things were too different and it hurt. He kept breadcrumbing me and i finally told him i can't keep talking to you. If I can't have all of you I don't want none of you. That's just my personal opinion. Now that I don't want him sure we can be friends because I won't be in my feelings anymore

    • @nativechique7589
      @nativechique7589 3 года назад +1

      Tha6s growth to see that. Were you able to move forward

    • @malindachantelle4706
      @malindachantelle4706 3 года назад +6

      @@nativechique7589 yes definitely I'm engaged and had a daughter since then as well with someone else

  • @Best-ThingYouNeverHad
    @Best-ThingYouNeverHad 4 года назад +28

    I think its a real problem that men sacrifice personality for looks of a woman because most of the time those are the women that break them then they come to the next relationship messed up & want sympathy like they didn't set themselves up for failure 🤦

  • @Moonpiebye
    @Moonpiebye 4 года назад +82

    If he is in a relationship and still calling you ask yourself why haven't you blocked him💡 stop feeding the problem ..let go let it flow..move on

    • @afrohersheys22
      @afrohersheys22 4 года назад +8

      It_isWhat_it_is True that’s what happened to me. He got married but he was still finding excuses to talk to me... I was falling in that trap every time up until recently I blocked him and I’m moving on with my life as I should.

    • @remainhumble6654
      @remainhumble6654 4 года назад +4

      Well Said....block him...

    • @remainhumble6654
      @remainhumble6654 4 года назад +4

      @@afrohersheys22 good for you...God Bless you & take care

    • @afrohersheys22
      @afrohersheys22 4 года назад +5

      Yshekia Bell yeah I had a little depression today because I’m still attached because I’ve been with him for so long but I wasted three years doing this nonsense... it’s for the best, I deserve better.

    • @afrohersheys22
      @afrohersheys22 4 года назад +1

      Yshekia Bell thank you god bless you too 😊

  • @JustDazy2
    @JustDazy2 2 месяца назад +1

    Hey Tony, I’m 23 and I have found the strength to leave my ex for my own growth and I love your words because for a moment I felt bad that he wanted be in my life still. However, I realize that he could’ve put in the work the first time, if it was meant to be I wouldn’t feel the way I felt.

  • @Vanessa-em1km
    @Vanessa-em1km Год назад +6

    My husband of 25 years of marriage had an affair and left me for the other woman. I learned he was only with me until our kids became a little older before he left. His leaving me became very obvious he planned his departure to get with the other woman. Some years later he started reaching out to me as if nothing happened, I cut off ALL communication with him until this very day!!!

  • @MelNesbitt25
    @MelNesbitt25 4 года назад +48

    EVERY TIME I pray for confirmation on what I’m feeling about this subject...there’s the TRUTH. GOD is truly working through you. THANK YOU TONY (& your wife)🙏🏽 BE BLESSED!!!

    • @LadiWeeks
      @LadiWeeks 4 года назад

      Yes! I concur! 😍💆‍♀️🙋‍♀️🙏

  • @Glamrocs
    @Glamrocs 4 года назад +62

    Out of all the years that I watch your videos I have to say this has been the most passionate video I’ve watched. I literally heard your hearts desire for women to be set free! God bless you and Sheri 🙏🏾.

    • @flydollronda1926
      @flydollronda1926 4 года назад +4

      I felt his heart too 🙏🙏

    • @yanicketienne1464
      @yanicketienne1464 4 года назад +2

      Glamrocs Makeup: Yes. Indeed. So much truth!!! Thank you again and again Tony.

  • @jadew9177
    @jadew9177 4 года назад +79

    People think that I’m so mean when I tell them I don’t befriend my exes. What for, what we had is now done so there is no need to keep them around and block blessings. Especially being that I don’t have any children, there is nothing holding us together. Wish them well and move on

    • @emmabell1587
      @emmabell1587 2 года назад +2

      Exactly and that's why I never did it and I will not do it.

  • @nata6835
    @nata6835 4 года назад +6

    I broke up with a man for going over his ex parents house. He claimed he was good friends with her uncle who happened to live at the ex parents house and he was only going for the uncle.. I asked him to not go there because it was disrespectful to me. He didn’t give a damn about my feelings and continued to go over her parents house & said I was overreacting...So I ended our relationship. I’m not putting up with no man bullshit! That’s why I’ve been single for 2 yrs.. I refuse to settle for less.

  • @matteroffact6997
    @matteroffact6997 4 года назад +30

    I feel like men will use you to balance them out in order for them to be able to deal with the other woman which is their ex.
    Tony is so right.

    • @lwontherez7927
      @lwontherez7927 2 года назад

      Ex told me, “Between you and the woman I left you for/cheated on you with, I found the perfect woman.” GROSS!!

  • @shaneekaraybe4919
    @shaneekaraybe4919 4 года назад +25

    "Little UGLY" 😀😀😀. Only Tony says that😁😁😁

  • @irismd5540
    @irismd5540 4 года назад +33

    U took a gamble an u lost MOVE ON...... Tony I felt that deep down in my soul. Thank u!!!!

  • @montricec8795
    @montricec8795 4 года назад +14

    Some of these mamas make these men grown boys too. I would tell on my sons in a N.Y.. minute, if I knew they were doing someone wrong...especially if I knew the person was a good person. I know how it feels to be hurt. I will not sit back and watch my sons play someone. Let me hear about it and I'm telling it and I'm all in their case! Believe me, when I tell you this!! ! I wish you could ask them. I dont play that!! That is what's wrong with some of these men! Mothers out here with grown sons, stop doing this!

  • @reginac9793
    @reginac9793 4 года назад +12

    Tony, you deserve your title as life coach! I’m 68 yr old divorced my husband at age 50 after 20yrs of marriage

    • @reginac9793
      @reginac9793 4 года назад +4

      In 1998 have not spoken to him since. Even though he sends messages to the kids he wants me back! Women listen to Tony, it was financial! I have not spoken to him, I allow the grown adults ( my girl s yo see him ) I have not want contact with this person. Ladies’s please move on! My ex had women on the side, always lied, could not keep a job, due to some excuse. Hey, I learned to love myself, payed for my divorce from him . Was awarded child support, did not Perdue it, because I wanted to do it for myself. Put 2 girls through college on my own. Remarried at age 50, my new husband died of cancer when I was 64 ( the love of my life he was 69 when he died) and I still haven’t spoke to my ex in all this time...because I gave him my all for 20 years and he is and has not been worth not loving myself the way God wants us to love us. I move forward not backwards. God has a plans for me, and it another beautiful, loving souls and I am ready, but I can wait to learn the lessons I need to learn. Btw, my second wonderful husband odd of cancer in august 31, 2016. Still singled, blessed and highly favored! Amen! Tony, keep preaching. I lived what your saying, women, never go back!

  • @yanicketienne1464
    @yanicketienne1464 4 года назад +6

    “The queen is the most powerful piece on the board!” Tony, Tony, Tony.

  • @laywill5968
    @laywill5968 4 года назад +4

    Before the video came to a close, I already deleted two of my exes. No more to go. Thank you Tony

  • @mariahwilliams9867
    @mariahwilliams9867 4 года назад +17

    Ex=past, Next=present. If he doesn’t value you and respects you he is not worth the test. Move on! Be blessed

  • @tarao4382
    @tarao4382 4 года назад +10

    I saw the alert come up on my screen. When I read the title of the video my immediate response before even clicking was, HELL NAW!!!😕🤨😒🙃🙄

  • @Rose.Adorna.7
    @Rose.Adorna.7 4 года назад +30

    The conviction I felt at the end had me in tears. Thank you from not running away from your calling and. Walking in your purpose.

  • @damarish.torres145
    @damarish.torres145 3 месяца назад

    I’ve seen this one before and three years later I watched it again . I gained so much knowledge about things that have been on my mind, I had so many questions. This helped me: to God be the glory. Thank you Tony

  • @marilynking527
    @marilynking527 4 года назад +35

    Tony this video is def not selling us on men 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Lawd they are as basic as I thought. My intuition always said all this but you confirmed it!!

    • @marilynking527
      @marilynking527 4 года назад +1

      Robin Sunrise superficial smh 🤦🏾‍♀️

    • @harmonybishop4424
      @harmonybishop4424 4 года назад

      I see people with an S in these videos what does it mean??

    • @marilynking527
      @marilynking527 4 года назад +1

      Harmony Bishop it’ means you are apart of the membership. Its $1.99 per month.

    • @harmonybishop4424
      @harmonybishop4424 4 года назад

      Robin Sunrise awh okay thanks

    • @pettynettie5514
      @pettynettie5514 4 года назад

      I'm saying the same exact thing!!! "Like uh - remind me again, what makes you guys worth it??" 👎🏾👎🏾👎🏾

  • @rosegold5211
    @rosegold5211 3 года назад +4

    So me and my ex are long distance...for reasons I had to leave... but when he went ghost for a week... I let him have it!! And talking about he's not seeing anyone. He say let's start over....he been trying to get himself together. Tried to blame me for his downfall....but I'm mentally gone from the relationship. I put up with supporting you and you cheated. Now this dude won't stop texting me.
    I'm doing me...and loving it. Thanks Tony!

  • @mz.q7908
    @mz.q7908 4 года назад +23

    I love your passion in helping us ladies and calling out men. The man law only break up homes and compromises healthy relationships. Don't apologize because of how you feel it is heartfelt. I heard it in your voice..

  • @DynamicallyDC
    @DynamicallyDC 4 года назад +50

    An ex is an ex for a reason and as my Granny and Tony say "familiarity breeds contempt"!! I have exes I still respect and will be cordial to & others I will never ever deal with again on any level. Especially if they're married or in a relationship I don't want to be a distraction or deal with any unnecessary drama from trying to keep an ex in my life.

  • @treneiceselles2705
    @treneiceselles2705 4 года назад +14

    A lot of men are looking for a "Hot Mom"... Lol a word! This is a FANTASTIC FANTASY on his behalf smh....

  • @elizabethschilling7178
    @elizabethschilling7178 4 года назад +5

    This is a so needed video. I've met so many men who have continued to be in a relationship with an ex. Little do they know I'm completely turned off and ready to throw my duce up at them. Boy bye!!

    • @valerieandrews5176
      @valerieandrews5176 3 года назад +1

      Same here. I was dating a guy recently who was still friends with his high-school sweetheart that he divorced after 18 years of marriage. He says they are still friends because they have kids and they knew each other for years even before they got married. She remarried and has been married for 15 years and they still keep in contact! What?? In my heart, I feel she's still in love with him because she calls him about once a week when her husband is not around. Now you tell me what kind of soul tie this is. Of course, he likes the attention, says he doesn't feel anything for her but continues to talk to her because they're 'friends.' I couldn't deal with that issue plus some other things he had going on in his life. So I walked away and never looked back. Dodged a bullet with that one. Point, blank, Perioodddttt!

  • @IshanaeS
    @IshanaeS 4 года назад +25

    Ladies, we must constantly pray for discernment.. for these “exceptions” that Tony talks about. Tony is a human being just like us so there will be exceptions but we have to be able to identify if it is or if it isn’t. We as human beings cannot do so alone. God sees all and he will provide you with that third eye if we ask for it.

    • @pattimugpattimug8279
      @pattimugpattimug8279 4 года назад

      Ishanae Sy, absolutely!!!! I have prayed to God when I was unsure about my exes, my prayer to God was literally " God, if he is the right man show me and if he is not still show me".... boom, God showed me their cheating ways on a silver platter..God will show you things if you ask him

  • @vanessaguzman363
    @vanessaguzman363 4 года назад +5

    WOW!! This is the first video of All Tony’s videos that literally went straight to my heart and soul 😞 bc FACTS are hard to ACCEPT but I thank you Tony bc I received it... the reason behind me accepting this video More than Any other video is bc God was speaking through you and that’s was A confirmation for me that he was speaking to me.. Telling me Wake Up and MOVE ON bc I truly deserve better !! I pray that god continues using you for his glory 🙏🏼

  • @dorothysparrow4355
    @dorothysparrow4355 4 года назад +24

    Be blessed! Let God use you!!! 🙌🏽 This spoke to me. I pray that God releases those soul ties and the spirit of being STUCK!!!!

  • @alexiskrymis5918
    @alexiskrymis5918 Год назад +6

    Omg, Tony. You’re awesome. I just discovered you and I can’t get enough. 😂

  • @therealher_
    @therealher_ 4 года назад +22

    TONY... LISTEN TO ME‼️‼️ I felt every bit of minute 44-46 in my spirit. It gave me chills just listening. POWERFUL

  • @paulinestewart2163
    @paulinestewart2163 3 года назад +1

    BEST EXPLANATION ON NEVER TAKING YOUR EX BACK EVERRRRRR! 👌

  • @lapree5419
    @lapree5419 4 года назад +20

    "It keeps you stuck.. in a truck...like a duck"....true story

  • @juanitakelley8877
    @juanitakelley8877 Год назад +1

    I know that's right!! That is what they get.

  • @wavyblkqueen
    @wavyblkqueen 4 года назад +17

    THIS IS THE BEST VIDEO ON RUclips ! I wish I could like a million times!
    Edit: I really wondered for almost a year why my ex left me for his ex aka baby mama and why I wasn’t enough for him and this video answered everything. Yea Tony hitting me with the truth hurt me quite a bit but nonetheless it’s the truth. I just gotta go on.

  • @tuliaTV
    @tuliaTV 4 года назад +2

    Tony you PREACHED a whole MESSAGE on this video! From 40:00-50:00 you were saying nothing but the TRUTH!!!! BE BLESSED TRIBE!

  • @salma_Nella22
    @salma_Nella22 4 года назад +3

    I appreciate this so much. The truth hurts

  • @Uniqu3neverway
    @Uniqu3neverway 4 года назад +19

    Let your EX gooooo ... go on bout ya business- Tony Gaskins 😃

    • @kikikiki3216
      @kikikiki3216 4 года назад

      Question please. So am with this guy, he says he loves me, I have feelings for him I want to be with him,but he's too close with his ex girlfriend. So we could be spending time together and she will call him at as early as 8 something am or 10 something am, mind you, she apparently has has a man in her life who she's in "love" with. This man was introduced to her by my guy, my broke up with her because she wasn't able to bring birth a child for him. He said his friend isn't particularly cool with how close he's with his ex girlfriend who's currently his friend.
      My guy has this theory of how he won't date a girl who's been with his friend, which is understandable. He expects me to be cool with him being close friend's with his ex. Am fixing to let it go, not because I don't care, but because I just can't be bothered to engage myself in a triangular situation. What's your take on this?

  • @tyjones6626
    @tyjones6626 3 года назад +11

    The question is "why would you want to be friends with your ex"?

  • @motherp5291
    @motherp5291 4 года назад +3

    Speak TRUTH Tony!
    I can listen to you all day because your messages are so uplifting and inspiring.
    I see and hear your calling!
    Continue to be Blessed Mr Gaskins!

  • @allicapronouncedallakuh3291
    @allicapronouncedallakuh3291 4 года назад +15

    Thank you Tony for your wisdom and insight.. guys may not see me as enough but as long as I have God in my life .. I am enough.. You are on point ..Ex trying to come back after I ended things.. I will not fall for that okie doke...
    Get with your Ex or focus on your NEXT... I love it....

  • @ericajoneswallace7671
    @ericajoneswallace7671 4 года назад +2

    TG your nothing but the TRUTH!! Please continue to keep teaching us all of this WISDOM!! I've been following you for about a month and I've learned a lifetime of knowledge with your words. I salute you for all of your hard endeavors. Thank you💯💯

  • @naturallycute7186
    @naturallycute7186 4 года назад +29

    Yes and no. I am an “associate “with my Ex-husband. We were married for 17 years. We have 3 kids together. He is a good man. We just drifted in different ways. I left him. My current husband and I will be married 7 years this year. And no, I didn’t find my husband while I was married. It was a challenge, but my husband and ex is on good terms with each other.
    I would never go back him. I love him. But, I am “no longer in love” with him.

    • @much2lovely
      @much2lovely 4 года назад +11

      Naturally Cute then it’s actually a no. Associate is different than friends. You have kids together so that is understandable. It’s the same for me and my ex. We have a son together so we still associate very cordially

  • @kikinyte6806
    @kikinyte6806 4 года назад +14

    Tony said He Wants Their Body Parts but Your Heart ❤️ that hit home. He sees you as imperfect.... Wow 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 That was a gem right there 💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

  • @ladyredconstance
    @ladyredconstance 4 года назад +8

    Yes..Tony is right..My ex trying to hold on to me ..long distance so he can be who he is with....Don't let it happen ladies..I got to buy your book Soul ties as well......They will fight you on relationship book...he's right.i wanna break down and cry...

  • @chocodiamondjewels3403
    @chocodiamondjewels3403 4 года назад +2

    I was STUPID, yes I am confessing but I am determined to move on and welcome a new person in my life. To do this is not Easy but thanks to Tony I have starred.

  • @carlyc9891
    @carlyc9891 3 года назад +9

    The way tony talks about men it just seems so hard to find one I honestly feel just to do my own thing for the rest of my life sometimes lol

  • @zayeahs
    @zayeahs 7 месяцев назад

    I liked this one, Tony Gaskins! Makes me feel very foolish, but I needed to hear it!

  • @butterflytv3194
    @butterflytv3194 4 года назад +17

    9/10 when a ex comes back it doesn't work out

    • @trishataylor2837
      @trishataylor2837 4 года назад +1

      it doesn't work out for me and my ex when he comes back because he refuses to be accountable or to fix his addictions while i continue to grow spiritually and personally. He has bettered himself career wise each time he comes back but never in the ways I need him to. See, he KNOWS how much I love him and he counts on that...he tells me even when he left the state we both lived in, he HAD to come back because he always "feels like he is missing an arm or a leg" when another woman kicks his ass to the curb for the same reasons I did.
      He's been quite the manipulator taking advantage of my love. I am now back in counselling. There is the song TIN MAN by Miranda Lambert to which i totally resonate with. Check out the words. Especially ..♫ 'cos love is so damn hard ♫

  • @ebonieshenece
    @ebonieshenece 4 года назад +22

    I’m going to watch this video everyday just because... be blessed 🙏🏾

    • @wavyblkqueen
      @wavyblkqueen 4 года назад

      ebonie shenece ima have to for sure

  • @alinas8003
    @alinas8003 4 года назад +14

    Being friends with an ex it's like saying to a dog that you want them to become a cat, not gonna happen

  • @socialite8218
    @socialite8218 4 года назад +1

    I love when you went off and gave men some of the responsibility. 💜

  • @flydollronda1926
    @flydollronda1926 4 года назад +14

    I'm on Chapter 3 of A Woman's Influence, and it is really the best book I've ever read in regards to reationships! I just wanted to say how much it is really blessing me, and reading Mrs. Sheri's perspective ties it altogether in such a powerful way. Thank you so much for allowing God to use you for such a time as this! God bless!!

  • @maureenuchegbu5551
    @maureenuchegbu5551 3 года назад +2

    You are very authentic. The best relationship coach I have listened to very real

    • @nelsontyler2842
      @nelsontyler2842 3 года назад

      message the man that help me get my ex husband back...

    • @nelsontyler2842
      @nelsontyler2842 3 года назад

      Contact father right* away
      Text him now through whatszpp

    • @nelsontyler2842
      @nelsontyler2842 3 года назад

      +2349056214114⏯️⏯️

    • @nelsontyler2842
      @nelsontyler2842 3 года назад

      He is indeed a problem solve contact him!!

  • @avianne
    @avianne 4 года назад +5

    Tony, thank you so much for imparting your knowledge. Going forward and after listening to your videos, there is no excuse for me to ever entertain a grown boy ever again!!! Loving you and your wife's new book also! God bless you for ALL that you do! ❤️ Keep these videos coming they are nothing short (pun intended😊) of AWESOME!

  • @SLBMcMillan
    @SLBMcMillan 4 года назад +15

    WOW!!! I needed to hear this to let go of my Ex who now labeled me a "Friend" and Confidant" last night! Thank you Tony!!!

    • @celestiakock7207
      @celestiakock7207 2 года назад +2

      Oh hell no, he cant still be getting those benefits, sis cut him off!!!

  • @RareGem369
    @RareGem369 3 года назад +1

    Oh my goodness, I'm so thankful for this man sharing his insight with us. He keeps it real and knows what he's talking about. I love his accent too! Thank so much for sharing your knowledge with us Tony, I have no doubts that it's helping ppl all over the world. God bless you 💜

  • @samanthaadkins5551
    @samanthaadkins5551 4 года назад +19

    I don't care for short videos!