How men see heavier women | Talks with Tony
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- Опубликовано: 3 окт 2024
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Do men view women who are heavier differently? If so, why? In tonight's episode of "Talks with Tony" I address the question from a young lady who is being approached in a disrespectful way by some men.
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The world does judge us by our looks, but we have to see ourselves as worthy no matter what.
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Amen
❣️❤️❣️
💯💯💯
I know I’m worthy
Women of all shapes and sizes are getting played. Periodt.
Thanks for saying that
Say it again
365
YES PERIODT POO!☺
Just say you feel attacked.
This is spot on Tony. I’m a fat girl and a nurse so I’m a double target. Always attracted white /Spanish men who fetishized me but rarely wanted more beyond sex. I realized it was ME! Finally working on my weight, relationship with god, and my mental health. 99% of being overweight is a reflection of self-discipline/ mental health in my opinion.❤️💕
Awesome! Necer thought about it like that, that it’s a reflection of self worth/ disciple
That's a nice way to encourage her to see herself first past others. Taking care of you to be ur best self!
We’re in this together sis! Let’s shed these pounds. Period! It’s mind over matter 💗
@@Shay_Davis_Talks Yes ma’am. Down 20lbs since January 25th!😀 IF/Keto
@@kokoalaska9888 Awesome on your weight loss. We are all in a space for giving ourselves self love. Great insight!!
I'm a curvy woman and have lost 60 pds. Belive me the caliber of men I attract now is nothing like before. Plus I feel more disciplined, confident, and happy. I workout everyday and look forward to it.
Good work. Some women make too many excuses
Bravo 👏🏾
Me too. But on the real, I’m not up for how shallow men are.
You might attract them but are they worth attracting?
@@LA-wv7gf same. I lost 80lbs and the caliber of men is way up now. Low value men don't want to put in the effort to catch a baddie. And they can't compete with high value men so they won't even try.
I used to think that men preferred women of a particular body type but then I thought about the fact that Beyoncé, Jennifer Lopez, Halle Berry etc. all got cheated on and they're beautiful, successful and fit women.
I think that most women don't get treated well, regardless of how they look and what body type they have.
All we can do as women is work on ourselves for ourselves and trust that God will send the right one for us. A man who would help us to get to the best version of ourselves, mentally, physically and spiritually.
Men cheat because they can and they want to. I've heard many dusty men saying that men are programmed to sleep with many women due to biology, instead of taking accountability for their actions
Amen!!! I had that same thought as well. I have seen heavier size women pull in sone finnnneeee dudes and these men are so dedicated to them dang near fighting over them.
@@juanyelwhite4027 I am 40, heavy and I am married to a 27 year old man who is tall, slim and dark with lots. He works and I stay home. He worships me and I adore him.
@8LJ8 alllllll theeeee time 🙏
@@juanyelwhite4027
I am heavier and that has never been the case for me. Even when I was small that wasn't the case either. So I think it has a lot to do with how confident the woman is and not to be messy but a lot of men struggle with their own identity and sexuality!!
IMO it doesn’t matter what size or accomplishments a woman may have for a man that is dishonest or narcissistic to use her.It’s a game to them. Pay attention to red flags 🚩 and their treatment of you.
So true
Absolutely
Narcissist are the worst. They don't care what body type. They are some very evil individuals.
Amen Sis🙌🏾🙏🏾👏🏾👍🏾
@@pamshairexpo3892 yes. I was married to one for over 20 years, sometimes I didn't know if I was going or coming. They ate very delusional and will not be held accountable for any THING. compulsive liars. Thank God for deliverance
I'm a BBW and it's very true.. they will try it, but it's the respect and worth you see in yourself, not every "fit" woman is happily married, and always treated good. Not every big woman is treated like trash. People need to realize that beauty is a depreciating value.. self love, self value is everything
Men know that but they want what they want & that will remain to be true no matter how much time passes.
@@hopelove1595 true and I know what I want too no matter how much time passes and until I get what I need, want and deserve we will be 2 ships passing in the moonlight 😂✌🏽
Amy Schumer and Gaboury Sidibe both have great husbands and they are bigger girls while Cardi B and lil baby’s baby mama getting dogged out, and they are the urban beauty standard! So just know it’s what u settle for and what u bring besides looks that matters. “Beauty fades and looks are fleeting but a woman who fears the lord shall be praised”
@@yeetqueen8729 I hate to be the bearer of bad news but Gabourey Sidibe is not married so she doesn't have a husband & Amy Schumer gained a lot of weight after giving birth. She wasn't a really big girl when she & her husband met. That does make a difference. Looks matter, always will matter as long as we have eyes to see. That's a given & no one can escape that reality.
@@hopelove1595 Gaboury Sidibe is engaged and Amy Schumer has been big her whole life so idk what your talking about? Stop liking ur own hate comments sweetie
I have gotten every single man that I’ve wanted by being plus size. They rush to me and it’s because the confidence I carried. I looked good, smelled good, and carried myself well. I’ve lost weight and still attract the same men. Keep your boundaries strong and your self-love stronger and they will fawn over you!
This comment right here is everything and so TRUE. Women with confidence, high self esteem, and strong boundaries get all the respect and attract all kinds of men. I am 5'11, a size 14/16, and weigh 200 lbs. I have men of all races trying to get at me every day because of my attitude, intelligence, and self confidence. Even telling them I am involved doesn't stop them. I love my body AND my deep chocolate skin color. I will not listen to anyone who would even try to tell me I am not beautifully and wonderfully made. I have female friends of every race, shape and size because I love MYSELF and never compare my physical attributes with any of them. They are all beautiful as well in their own ways. If women have no boundaries, are desperate, and allow men to treat them like garbage they will be miserable no matter their looks, shape, or size.
Preach
Totally agree
Facts!
FACTS
I am someone who's weight CONSISTENTLY fluctuates. I can tell you from life experience that EVERYONE looks at you different when you're heavier, male or female. I hate it and it makes me miserable when I'm at a heavier size. I can see and FEEL the difference. I don't attempt to date when I'm heavy.
Hello!I encourage you to try going vegetarian,so for starters you can try meatless Mondays,so wherever you usually eat,just opt for the vegetables&as for exercising,try to get in a 30min brisk walk hopefully 3x a week,whether it's in your backyard or local park!NEVER QUIT!3 JOHN 2,JOHN 14:18&JOHN 14:27 KJV SUGGESTED
I prayed for a Big Brother and God gave me Tony. ❤️
This is so true ❤️
That is SO well said! 🙏🏾🙏🏾
Amen Sis
I agree. I never had a brother but better late than never!!! Thanks Tony for all your help, knowledge and encouragement. 🤗
@@Passion84GodAlways ☺️☺️☺️
I’m a big beautiful Queen!!! Loving me always!!!💋
Haven’t watched yet but seen the title n thought...ohh, this might hurt. Glad I read your comment so I still tune in. Lol
@@Ms.Haleyy No matter what your weight is always love yourself!!! Real men loves all sizes!!
PLEASE, REMEMBER THAT, MY BEAUTIFUL QUEEN!👸👠👸
Facts
You are beautiful! Men love us too.
This also needs to be considered when it comes to older women. All older women are NOT DESPERATE OR COUGARS.
AMEN...... I'm 54 not a cougar, tiger or lion 🤣🤣🤣
For real! I get hit with men who either think I'm desperate, a cougar, or perhaps they just have a BBW fetish. If I could, I'd get a breast reduction because I don't need the extra attention. I am grown and at 50 I don't have time for the foolishness!
Heaven and hell is real, please watch Linda Ngaujah testimony of heaven and hell and you will be blessed🙏🏼
Jesus is coming sooner than we think. Be prepared at all times.
AMEN sis because I am older now just turned 40 a week ago
Agreed in fact we have ran the gambit. Been there done that experienced. Can take it or leave it. I've been single now 10 years. I'm 60 have to say it's awesome. No drama just cruise control 😎 My time is valuable and I'm choosy who I spend it with.
Men be preying on the real big women just like single moms
@@AndreiFantastic so true!
Look at Monica Lewinsky........ it's sad!
So true ladies the guys I was seeing did not have a type but he prays on big younger women.
Men prey on good women period. Even women with no kids. You don’t have to be bigger or a single mom. They prey on it all.
I've noticed this a lot with foreign men who marry for visas. They trick these women into thinking they love them, then dip when they're able to care for themselves. Not saying that both big women and single mothers can't find love, because I've seen it plenty times. I just hate the creeps who try to take advantage of them for sex and resources.
Can't wait till I get to a place where I can bless people with cars. Big salute to you Tony and your giving spirit.
I was thinking the same!
Yes, I feel the same way!!
Me too.. That is such a blessing 🤗
I HOPE GOD BLESSES YOU FOR YOUR INTENTIONS TO BLESS OTHERS. AMEN
Amen
This title made me stop what I was doing to zoom on over here! Gonna be a good one!
I zoomed too.
I use to believe this being a bbw until I made friends with curvy slim and having some slim family members I watched them all get treated like me or even worse! It’s all in how much YOU value YOU! Many women are targets not just because ur fat / heavy you’re a target because ur a people pleaser!!! You put everything and everybody over yourself! Try putting you first! That means eating better as well!!!
Thanks Sis 😊
💯
Anyone ever seen Shallow Hal? Men are missing out on a lot of good women by only seeking a dimepiece
Every time I watch videos like this a think of shallow hal
@Wonderful Charm exactly, but will tell black women they don't date big women.
A lot of what they think are dimepiece are not.
Yeeees, the movie wasn't a blockbuster but it had a great overall message.
Yeah Shallow Hal.... Is on point.
I’m right on the cusp of being plus size to where I can camouflage it well but I personally want to lose weight before I start seriously dating. I salute everyone happy with their size and confidently being on the scene. I’m just not there yet. 😅
Yaaaaay Advert every 5mins 💞
Me too
Good points. May I add as a woman, You may not need to lose weight to find love, but consider the type of man you want to attract. Your looks at face value are 95% of the reason is man will be genuinely attracted to you at first sight. There are exceptions, but in the dating world this is true. Love yourself to be your best self. Confidence is what makes a woman sexy.
🙄🙄 yes you need to lose weight!
Lose weight!
Lose weight!
Yes, it matters!
Lose the weight ladies.
Lose the weight!!!
Thank you!!! (Just making a point) I just want us as women to be honest and understand that it’s important to be our best selves. That may be a different body shape or weight than another woman but still our best.
I always struggled with the weight issue growing up- i was a very skinny child until puberty which caused my weight gain and because i am short i was always a very chesty girl up front which caused a lot of shame and embarrassment over my body type- i
can say that after joining a gym a year ago i have lost so much weight and am fit and toned and in better shape physically at 47 than i ever was at 22 - and i agree that first impressions matter- men notice women with confidence who are trying to better themselves- when you begin a self care routine of mind body and spirit your confidence in yourself as a child of God will shine thru and will be attractive- you will start to turn heads - its been happening to me a lot over the past couple of years - a fit body will also renew your strength and shave years off of you- i’m 47 but due to my smooth complexion (no wrinkles) people think I’m in my 30s- they are so shocked when i tell them my age - wear your crown ladies and do not settle for less than what God has for you - walk with confidence, dignity and self respect 🎉🌈👑❤️
@@overcomerbtboj Keep working on yourself. Never stop ❤ Proud of you 👏🏾
@@satoyaspencer2215 Exactly
I have seen heavy size women so confident in themselves. They put on what works for them. Perfume up. And move out!
Well you got some overweighted women that put on a front and adults stuck-up a cocky like they the s*** with deep down your self-esteem is little as dirt
@@paulabarnes233 that is in every scenario. Overweight or not. It's called low self-esteem.
Women hide behind pride when they don't feel good about themselves no matter if they are thinner than paper.
@@joycenash8271 true also
Obese women are NEVER confident. They have learned to ACT confident.
I went out with my family this past weekend and my confidence filled every room I entered. I told my father, I know I’m out here looking scrumptious! Lol Ive always been heavy. Since childhood. & my mom would talk down to me. Not my father though. Outside of my mother not many ppl commented on my weight, as a child. As I got older there were slick comments about my weight. But I’ve always been conscious of myself& projected love for myself! Ive never had many issues with getting a man though. I taught myself that the men who don’t like me (rather I’m big or small) are just not for me. Either accept me for me or get from around me! I’d also like to say, that ppl need to get over it. Theirs different type of ppl in the world. I have fat and I’m working on getting healthier (18 pounds down) but I’m also beautiful, smart, accomplished and 100% that chick! I love me & I will forever love me!
Say it
@@childofgodskingdom8403 everyday!!
I know that's right
👏🏿👏🏿
Get it girl.... ❤...love it 😁
I am a computer engineer and i get questioned if i am really from the IT dept, they look at me in disbelief, unsure if i can really fix anything to do computers and the network infrastructure, so i enjoy watching them squirm when i do the job and fix the issue
You’re the person I would definitely ask a question to. Over the man especially since they always want a favor of some type from us (talking about they did us a favor) and you know the type I mean puhlease!!!
That’s disrespect and it really needs to change.
I am a Systems Administrator and have a lengthy career doing Desktop Support, and I'm curvy, but it's been many years since anyone has questioned my technical abilities based on my looks. I guess I just have a posture about myself that is friendly, yet conveys the message, "Don't try me."
@@melaninmoxiellc963 my last incident was in 2016 when i went to fix a problem with a testing maching in a hospital laboratory. The woman who I spoke to on the phone did not realise it was me who came to fix the issue and she was relating the conversation to a colleague and I walk in, she carried on until the woman who bought me into the lab interrupted her and I introduced myself as the person she had spoken to. Bless her faced dropped and i asked them to show me to the equipment and asked them to replicate the issue. Poor thing could not leave the lab quick enough
@@eve2754 I've worked IT projects in a hospital environment, and I can see how that could happen. I'll bet that woman stayed out your face from then on out! Lol
“God has already validated me.”
Exactly! It's important to take care of ourselves spirit, mind and body YET God completely validates us.🙌🏾
What you said....!
He did with beauty and grace well said dorothy
That's right 🙏🏾❤
Amen
God is good all the time , and all the time God is good ...... 🙏
Yes God is good all the time. He knows everything and sees everything. God's thoughts are higher than our thoughts so he knows what is best for us.
Amen! 💖
God is always good and He is good to everyone
YES HE IS AMEN!☺
AMEN
2K views in 30 mins... you hear meeee! In Tony’s voice.
😂
Lol...funny 😂
Wow you look like SZA ❤❤ You go girl!
Sis, Point blank, Periodddddd!
🤣🤣🤣 Right!!!
I started getting complacent... now eating right no fast food, limited snacks & daily (sometimes 2 times/day) exercise!! Starting to shape up & want to get off these Blood pressure meds. Still avoiding getting diabetes... PRAISE THE LORD!!
@@AndreiFantastic how much you lost
@@AndreiFantastic fasting for 2 weeks as like no food whatsoever?
@@iamannabeautiful check out the YT Channel "A Healthy alternative" and Dr Eric Berg and his content on Keto and intermittent fasting. Start off on intermittent fasting daily- and then build to longer water fast.
AMEN
I worked out, lost weight & it made my hourglass figure pop even more. It was alot of hard work! Most men wud just stare at me, but not push up. I felt like sumthin was wrong w me. I was approachable & friendly. When I finally was able to date the guys ended up being fucboyz & timewasters. I gave up. Im just done w it! Im gonna get a puppy. Ill leave the husband finding to God.
Amen sister! I feel same way
Puppies don't cheat!👍
I feel you on that because this dating thing not for ME!
I have an hourglass figure as well and so do a couple of my cousins and we have the same problem. So many men who just stare, or follow you around and never say anything. The ones who are bold enough are typically younger or have a fetish for women with big butts and small waist and will do and say anything, I mean anything to sleep with you. And when you have a beautiful face and you're smart on top of that they are often intimidated. They sexualize you before they even speak to you. Which is why I present myself in a very polite conservative manner. Also some men equate a woman looking sexy to her being hypersexual. It's grossly immature.
Yes! I've been seriously considering becoming a dog mom lately 😍
This is so true, when someone shoots their shot and I tell them no, they change. If you can not come to with manners, dignity and respect, I will not talk to you.
Same here. I have always been had particular standards as to how I want to be approached or treated by men, from which I have never wavered and I have never had problems when I was dating. All of which led to 2 marriages.
MEN like women HAVE preferences!! Men DON'T act out on larger women....they act out on ALL INSECURE WOMEN.....WOMEN WHO EXUDE SELF RESPECT GET TREATED WITH RESPECT PERIOD....SIZE, SHAPE, ETC HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.....LADIES BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER PERIOD. ACCENTUATE WHAT YOU HAVE THERE WILL BE A MAN INTERESTED.....REMEMBER WHAT IS ONE MANS TRASH IS ANOTHER MAN'S TREASURE.....AS LONG AS YOU ARE HAPPY, CONFIDENT & HAVE SELF RESPECT & HONOR YOURSELF......MEN WILL BE ATTRACTED TO YOU....NOT ALL MEN BUT PLENTY THAT ARE.....NOTE NO ONE ATTRACTS ALL. SAME GOES FOR MEN. EVERYONE HAS DIFFERENT TASTES. REMEMBER WHAT YOU PUT OUT.....IS WHAT YOU ATTRACT. NOTE TO THE LADIES.....SCRUBS DO NOT DISCRIMINATE.....TRUST THEY TRY WITH EVERYONE HOPING ONE STICKS!!!
Aint that the truth
Wow!!!!!!
When I was in highschool my daddy told me not to get caught up in what fools do. They'll knock on every door until they find someone who'll answer. So, if you attract fools don't take it personal. If they try you, they're just doing what they do. Even narcissists like to see if they can break a confident woman. Learn to discern and deflect! Keep it pushing and if you need to, re-read the poem, Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou.
@@jdavis6727 Amen. YOU said the same thing I did just NOT as blunt. YOU were blessed with a good DAD. I was blessed with a GOOD mother that schooled me....amen amen.
@@jdavis6727 well said. Especially about the narcississts!
Amen, there's no greater validation than God's validation!!!
That's the only validation we need!
There you go!!
Let me just say this. Unfortunately overweight is the outward appearance of your struggle. You can't see a drug addict,alcoholic, abuser, bulimic or mental ill person's struggle until you have an opportunity to engage with them. We wait to judge those people until we know, by talking to them but if you're overweight you can see it immediately and we judge not realizing that those people could possibly be very strong confident intelligent kind and gracious people.
This is so true and so many men will swear up and down they are not attracted to women that are bigger because of health reasons but will turn right around and get with a slim chick that doesn’t excersize or eats junk food all day and some will date her even if she on drugs anything that’s just attractive socially.
I'm considered a plus sized woman based on American standards. I have a smaller upper body with 50 inch hips, a feature which makes me plus sized. I have never lacked dates and I married twice.
@@Goldforever-vp8zqthey don’t give a rats ass a out health. AT. ALL. She can eat like a hog all day as long as she doesn’t gain weight. They will never admit that. They use the “health” argument because they don’t want to be seen as shallow.
Y'all seen the movie "Just Wright" that's all I am gonna say. It's all right there. Lol. We are beautiful no matter what. We are fearfully and wonderfully made in God image. And God got that right one who we can be ourselves and feel complete around. It just takes the right divine timing. I hate that we are outcasted in such a way...but the devil is a liar!!!. And thats on Mary Had A Little Lamb..😊🙏🙏
Lol and that's on Mary had a lil LAMB AMEN MY SISTER.
Exactly sis. I have watched it lit her lately. It's people who go off looks but real connection is more than how person looks. Confidence is key. Living yourself where your are you will find the one just right for you
@@candacemann415 exactly👏👏
@@katrinagovan2871 😂😂😂
Exactly. ❤️
I’ve been told I look like Melissa McCartney..aka...Tammy BUT I’ve always thought she was so pretty so I’ll take it 😂
She is beautiful and Omg you could be her sister... so cool!
Yep she's very pretty.
She is gorgeous just like you.....
Yes you do.. Very much
She is gorgeous
Use an air fryer for your wings. They come out crispy and cook fast without the oil and flour etc.
Read the insert, it kills your reproductive system
Itll probably say it on the back, mine did, said may cause reproductive harm
Thanks for the info because I didn’t no that. That’s scary.
@@TheOriginalRhapsody what? Are you serious?
Or bake it.
Only Dead Fish go with the flow.
Straight up there are a lot of men out there who chase big woman they seem to either be users or fetish seekers ..... but as a big woman it’s about what you accept. Ima just be alone if you can’t come at me correct!!!!
Heaven and hell is real, please watch Linda Ngaujah testimony of heaven and hell and you will be blessed🙏🏼
Jesus is coming sooner than we think. Be prepared at all times.
I am looking forward to listening to this Talk with Tony.... its been 2.5 months since I gave up all sugar, dessert and candy. I no longer crave it and I don't care to buy it because my grocery bill is👌 and I never have to worry about funding money for a late night a sugar craving again!!
I also started a new rule of no eating after 6pm. Late night eating is very bad for my health and my waistline and my grocery budget. My weight is steadily going down but my health is going up! I eat whatever I want between 10-6pm and its usually meat and vegetables 😋. Sugar also degrades collagen and elastin in the skin so stay away from it. The beauty industry will not tell you this. Restore your skin and hormones by getting off sugar!!
All facts!
@Serena Chairs No fruit and honey and agave will spike insulin causing weight gain. That's terrible advice. More than half the population of the US are pre-diabetic and/or insulin resistant all with a carbohydrate and sugar addiction and low carb diets are tried and true.
I will eat a bowl of ground beef with butter and im fueled for hours. Meat does NOT cause weight gain! That is a lie from the Devil
Sugar, refined carbohydrates, caffeine, dairy and alcohol are the offenders. Our ancestors all ate meat. Sorry but I cannot stand thay Vegan nonsense. Even in the Bible they only abstain from meat Temporary, not permanent! Meat is the best food for humans. Cellulose and alot of fiber ruins the gut and causes problems. I have IBS and I even have problems with too much fiber. These are myths.
Intermittent fasting, eating meat and vegetables and water and keeping stress low for a happy and healthy life.. Its that simple. Besides who has time to cut up all those vegetables in the kitchen all day? Lol
@Serena Chairs hi I want to do a form of intermittent fasting and low carbs, I'll still incorporate fruits. Would this be a good diet along with exercise?
Hi.congrats on your lifestyle change journey. Keep it up.are you on a keto diet.
@Serena Chairs thank you, I don't do extreme fasting just don't eat before 12pm and won't eat after 8pm
They think. 1) they can control use them more. 2) more cushion for pushing 3)they disrespect them bc they feel your not taking care of yourself. Sometimes its nothing she did as an adult but it started as a child under someone elses care . And some men feel you dont care about them in relationship bc its extra weight on the bones and heart.They think you dont care enough to do better or live long for them even though some of these men have pot bellies .
That last sentence😂
@@user-eo9to7wd2t i know! 😂😂🤣😂🤣😂
I crazy how, some men say I don't want no big woman,and you found out he was cheating on you with a big woman,people wright is not one size fit all,you can't go around trying to please some a man that Shane's women.
Yes.
@@feliciacarrington7199 true story my husband did that to me. Fuck me up. That shocked me. U be surprised what people do. I dont put nothing past nobody nomore people not clothed and it dont matter how a person look are shaped. The same mfs try act like they dont talk them women that be the ones
Tony is absolutely right. An advanced degree is normally viewed as nothing more than a formality. My Masters degree has absolutely nothing to do w/my 6 figure salary. Nothing AT ALL! But I guarantee if I didn't have it on my resume I would not have gotten hired. Most careers are built on being taught in that career, not the degree.
Truth!
Do you know Why do companies prefer and hire people with degrees that have no correlations to what’s required of the job?
@@TheeBratzDollxox because they just want to know you’re the type of person who can finish something,
@@TheeBratzDollxox it shows a level of discipline
Depends on your field. You can NEVER be a school psychologist without a masters and specialist degree..I agree that a degree doesn’t really mean much but it is necessary for some.
"That's mans validation. GOD HAS ALREADY VALIDATED ME"
Amen!!!!
Boy God broke the mold with you... this is beautiful. You have a beautiful heart and spirit 💛 this has encouraged me to showing appreciation and giving gifts whitin my financial means to the folks who has held me down... it may not be a car but it will be a gift from my heart
My Jamaican grandmother’s Birthday was yesterday, and she’s 94 years old. This woman is very healthy, and her strength is amazing; because she cooks, cleans, and does everything for herself. I went walking with my grandma around the high school{‘s field and was out of breath halfway around the first round. Grandma was still going.
Continued blessings for grandma🙏
My grandma is like that. She goes for her walks every morning.
May God bless you and your grandma. ❤
God Bless Granny & Sis why are yoy so LAZY 🚫🧢🤣😂
REALLLLL FOOD
I felt like you were speaking directly to me! I was just soaking in tears because I suffer from a Thyroid problem and am constantly sick all the time. I didn't even want to keep going! Thanks!
Don’t give up dear. Please consider herbal medicine. Look for Patrick Delves on Facebook. He may be able to help.
Most High willing you get the healing you desire.
Right… Cause weight to be up and down
Get T4 AND T3 thyroid medicine you will lose all your extra weight in six months i promise!
this Lady is sadly mistaken. less heavier or skinny women go through the same thing in terms of the type of excuses men come up with not to date us. sad but true.
It’s not the same.
@@knowyourkismat who told you it is not the same? give me examples please. i would love a discussion. thanks
Girl! When Halle Berry, with her bi-racial, good hair and white beauty standards body gets cheated on, can't nobody else say nothing to me about weight being a deciding factor!
My chubby size 16 momma had my fit, military dad rearranging his plans to get her to marry him! My pastor's wife said just last week, "if God doesn't touch my husband's mind and heart to be faithful and a good husband, me staying a certain weight and being sexy ain't gonna do it!"
Yep. Jayz cheated on Beyonce. Men are men.
@@belitr5915 Exactly
Yes it good to look your best & stay healthy but men don’t really discriminate on what size women or age they play the game on ! If it were only full figured women Tony wouldn’t be getting thousands of letters a day !! Queens be the best you ! Love yourself being smaller will not make any man love you who doesn’t have integrity. Listen & learn the lessons Tony teach ! Stay off your back , Keep your boundaries & make it clear to the grown boys you are not the one who will deal with their nonsense. Trust me a man who doesn’t have character or love God : will treat you the same way no matter your size . They may be initially more attracted to a smaller women, but when you entertain a grown boy the outcome will be the same . Run 🏃♀️
👏🏽👏🏽
🙌🏾🙌🏾
💯💯
Being in shape is not about a man, it’s about your health. Diabetes and high blood pressure are real and especially in the black community.
Confidence and a great attitude is everything. If he doesn’t like what you have to share, he’s not for you. Know your worth and Keep it moving!
Enough said
Heck growing up big butts or being curvy wasn't in it was more about being skinny like the girls on tv but now dang how the tables have turned. My figure is in lol. All those times in school trying to be skinny as possible lol. Yep everything is seasonal.
There is a difference between having curves and a booty and being overweight. Marylin Monroe only weighed 114 but she had curves so people thought she was heavier than what she really was and she was about 140 something pounds at her heaviest . So there is a difference between overweight and being curvy, They are NOT the same things
@Candace Hall yep I agree
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@@AndreiFantastic Okay,,,and? You must not know how to read very well or your comprehension skills are that of a speacail needs individual, because if you knew how to read and know what words mean , you would have already known I never said anything about him puttind down fat women. ,if you know how , go back and re-read what I wrote. I said heavy overweight women , probably like yourself, pretend like they are happy and like being chubby, when in reality (you) , I mean , (they) really are not at all happy with the way(you), they look
I said Lizzo pretended to be happy being fat, when the reality is it was all an act. Everyone now sees her trying to loose weight. So maybe you are mad that my picture shows that I am thin, and that made you upset. Okay.and? that is really not my problem. So after you get done talking, I dont have to deal with that because I am not overweight and I refuse to apologize for that, So I dont know what else to tell you. Have a nice day
@@AndreiFantastic My life is set where I only allow who I want into my home , yup.
because if I don't want you around me, I don't have to let you on to my property. That is why I have a house and not an apartment. Because you are going to keep your mess away from me and your negative , jealous intentions away from where I abiding. And last time I checked, that guy Im still seeing dosnt have any of YOU abiding in his home either 💘...and that is a big YUP
They approach her because they're hoping her standards are low
True i hear guys say they go after big girls, because she have low self esteem
Absolutely!!
@Cynthia x ... Exactly!!
Lol I do love Queen Latifah in The Last Holiday. That was more realistic lol.
I ve been on the thick side all my life.. N I m hella confident.. This one size fits all mentality sucks.. Why is a smaller frame woman better than me? That's rubbish
And your definitely not better than them. 😊
@@juraywinn1785 I don't think she said that, at all.
@@juraywinn1785 she didn't say she was.....reading comprehension tink
It's like this at some jobs. When the men feel a woman is overweight, most of them treat that woman in a very mean way.ost heavy set women like myself, we don't see this until that male gets in front of another female, who he finds attractive. Some men are extremely shallow, until the hand of God slaps them in the mouth! People have to watch how they treat people!
Yep this is true. When they see an attractive women, they will treat an overweight woman as if she is invisible or in their way.
I am a heavier woman and my grandmother taught me dating is a skill .... something you do with purpose and you should improve with time. I have always been heavier kissed a few frogs before finding my prince. I have always been direct with men... stating what I wanted and was looking for, which is good but you also must be vigilant for signs that you are wasting your time and be ready to move on. I met my husband online and I told him before we even met that I was not looking to casually date and if he was then he was not for me. I think a lot of women tell themselves you don't need a partner, while this may be true making this fact the foundation of your attitude maybe self sabotage. I guess my point in saying this, is that, whether you are full figured or slim, rich or poor, sexy or average it does not matter you can't get what you want if you don't state what you want to yourself and others.
I've ALWAYS stated from the beginning that I am looking 4 sumthing real working towards marriage. Don't do games won't play games luv hard respect if it's given completely faithful & don't cheat, I'd rather leave the relationship & guys lie & say they looking for the same just to do the lies & games then leave after I've invested so much in to it. Haven't been in many relationships only 4of them. 5yrs, 2yrs(he was killed) 12yrs( ended 2013) focused on myself (2013- Nov. 2018) so I'd be 100% ok 4 the next guy. Finally tried again with sum1 I had been friends with 20yrs in (2018) poured into it & he ended up being a frog 2. Now single as of 8-16-21. Still releasing & working on myself. Hopefully the next 1 whenever he may cum will be that end all be all that I've been looking 4.
@@shatinahouston9566 the guy you are looking for is out there and he will come.
Trust that grown boys in general approach and try women in the way described in this video. It doesn't matter the size. To a grown boy we are all the same and liable to be a part of his game. Just as the saying goes, you can look, but you will never touch; when they try, I'm thinking to myself, you can try but you will never succeed.
@@Three632 OMG if you are who I think you are OMG yes we need to talk. I haven't seen you, your brother and sister in so... Long
@@Three632 it's ironic that you found me on here because I look up to "Big Brother Tony" 😅🤗 he has inspired and motivated me in so many ways. More than my natural born brother ever tried to.
@@Three632 I miss you too my niece 💖. It was always odd and funny that you were older however I remember how pretty I thought you were and apparently still are🤗
@@Three632 thanks girl. Sis definitely feels better considering 😅
Period! If a grown boy smells self confidence issues they are attacking...small, plus size, black, white, deaf, blind etc
I can't wait to hear this one. Size 20/18 here I am so curious. One thing is I have never been big my whole life. Kid years and teens I was super skinny. After college post grad is where I picked up my weight. It is so different being on the plus side and people's comments on it. They obsess with weight ( both men and women). I have tough skin but it can be hard. I am glad I was not a big child because I can not imagine what it could have been during those years. Like her, I lost 25 pounds in the past year and am happy 😊. I am adding to lose another 25 this year.
She’s not speaking for the collective.... I’m a big girl and men want relationships with me. Sis, you seem like you’re educated enough to know to speak for yourself. Blessings.
Ive been “big” my entire life and from my experience “men” are more likely to blatantly disrespect big women and want us to pay their way. I’m done with that personally, and am doing the inner workings as well as outer work as to not attract those type of men into my life in the future. Losing weight isn’t all it takes to repair oneself especially if that person has been through altering experiences regardless of physical size.
You are worthy sis! Your comment made me a little sad. I would like to say, that 'some men" look for ANY woman to pay there way. It's not because you are "big" persay- it's because some men associate being heavy with low self esteem. So they will target ANY woman with low self esteem. Ever seen a big women with CONFIDENCE?? I know a few and their confidence alone makes them super attractive! Keep doing the inner work because it will exude externally! ❤
it's not just heavier women sis
@@barbielev600 okay!
Sadly sweetheart it happens to regular size women its not your weight its the men!
@@nyny1042 The Bible said it best in 2 Timothy Ch. 3:2 unfortunately. Now days when anyone, it really doesn’t even have to be gender specific. When the “wrong person” sees someone else out here trying to do something for themselves and said, “wrong person” is looking for a meal ticket so to speak then we could all be fooled once or twice. I may be a “big girl” or whatever, but I’ve always held myself very confidently. I myself am the epitome of the very “big hipped woman” that Mr. Gaskins was talking about that he and Sherri seen in the mall. I unfortunately just happened to have been raised in a narcissist family environment therefore sort of “pre ordaining” me to somehow attract these very types of men into my life.. that is until I learned all about it. Now I’m a force to be reckoned with, and am a breaker of chains. This makes me grateful for the struggles I’ve endured on behalf of these individuals. I’m really sorry that anyone has had to deal with these types of people...they are literal soul suckers, and with more people having the wisdom, knowledge, and understanding of them and who they are my hope is that we can help more women and men to avoid the destruction that these spirits bring. 💜
My dad told me men sleep with fat women but don’t want to take you home to meet mama.They also will take your money. I believe men take advantage of the fact that most time being overweight represents some emotional weakness and lack of self-discipline.Unfortunately some men are predators and they prey on overweight women.I’ve even heard men say things like big girls need love too in a joking way. I just admonish every woman to work on their health and mental and emotional health to avoid being tricked.
Exactly. Well said. And usually men follow whatever the media portrays. He may initially view her confidence as sexy but when he’s ready, will use every term in the book to tear her down and her weight will be the first thing he goes after. You can never go wrong being confident but also fit and healthy to show a form of discipline and most of all-self love. Men who are healthy inside and out only view big women as a fetish.
I pray I can bless loved ones/people with homes and cars one day! Such a blessing in itself. God bless you so much, brother. God sees every blessing and seed you are planting. 🙏🏽
Ed.S.- Specialist M.Ed.- Masters of Education
No one cares outside of academia lol. That's the point.
@@blacknurse7 I have my doctorate and I absolutely agree with you.
I’ll hit the lock button no matter what color. People mental out here
Ok🤣 I’m not discriminating.
Exactly, gender too. Especially as a woman. Can't trust nobody.
Right!!!!...lol
I love Lizzo's music but I do think her label pushes a narrative that she is not. I feel like she is going to regret those pictures years down the line.
Why would you speak on Lizzo out of all people . Bye💀
@@adorewalker4866 I am making a comment and opinion based on Tony's video that's why.
Lizzie like Monique does not like their size.
I absolutely love Lizzo's confidence. There was only one incident where I was like....girl, time and place to wear certain things. Thats the time she had her but out at a family friendly event. Other than that I applaud her and highly doubt she'll have any regrets later.
Tony’s comments makes me now realize how Lizzo’s narrative maybe forced because when things are overdone and overly pretentious it can make people notice insecurities greatly which can then make her narrative counterproductive to the point that is trying to be made. Things should always be done respectfully
When I was fit men were everywhere and I knew they were fake. I was tired of men after me for my body and wished I met someone for my mind. I gained weight on purpose and definitely know the difference. Your body means nothing when it comes to love. I’m now able to tell the difference between superficial men and men who are sincere. Don’t be so vain bc it doesn’t last.
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Respectfully asking did the weight gain affect ur blood work? And tbh men gonna want u big,skinny, curvy whatever they can mos def just be weird no matter what lok
OMG, I’ve had the same experience!!! They were like vultures being smaller than I am now and majority of the guys wanted the girl that everyone wanted, for the look of it. None took the time to know me, it was all physical. I played travel ball in three sports so I was in tip too shape. And I’ve heard from both men and women that my natural body shape is what women pay to have. SMH…. Yes, from the experience, I’m able to detect fake in a sec lol…. It was good hearing someone else with that same experience!!
I actually found love AFTER gaining weight. Back when I was skinny, dudes just wanted to play.... I have a forever love now and I'm happy😊
Yep, the reason I keep some weight on me. This right here.
"Sigourney Weaver played Precious". LOL 😂😂
Lmfao
☠️☠️☠️
Whenever i listen to you speak i can just "feel" the love radiating off of you. It's really an amazing sight to behold. Thank you for the wisdom you're speaking and the time you're giving. I truly appreciate it
I agree
Likewise
I work in emergency department and when I first got there I pick up on the impression that they thought I was going to be loud they would call me assertive yes I am but in a calm way LOL Not all black women are loud and rude 😒😑😤
And not all black women are angry and bitter against black men!!
And not all men think that a larger size woman is to be used, and not marriage material. Those men must be shallow losers!
Nothing wrong with being loud either. Time and place. I never had a “dainty” or small/soft voice. Thanks to my dad 😅 point is if I needed to get the attention of a room full of people I can. No mic 🎤 needed. When I speak people listen. I was head cheerleader in high school almost every year. Again I didn’t need a megaphone. Megaphone 📣 😂
Point is It’s not the volume, it’s how you use your voice. I wish people stop using loudness as a negative.
Your first few minutes was a Sunday Sermon within itself. When you bless others, you will be blessed. Service to people in your vocation is a blessing from God too. Hard work is rewarding and rewarded. “When you get blessed, then be a blessing”. That’s a word Tony. Thank you.
The Bible teaches us NOT TO BOAST ABOUT WHAT WE DO FOR OTHERS. WHENEVER YOU DO YOU ARE BLESS BY YOURSELF AND NOT BY HIM.
I was in an 11 year marriage to a HUGE narcissist. I felt HORRIBLE about myself. I was never good enough. We separated, actually I left him, lost 85 pounds and now I intimidate him. I think jts all jn our attitude. I will not accept what I did before.
You go girl🙌🏾🙌🏾
This is the most comprehensive answer to the questions. It was delivered with poise, kindness, and intelligence. I love it. Keep doing what you do.
Tony you do not talk in circles ! You talk with wisdom!
“God does the validation”! I love that!
I have J.D. and Esq. behind my name and it means nothing emotionally! I listen to you for advice. We’re all here for a reason! ❤️
To be fair, smaller women go through this as well. Men are just....trash sometimes. In fact, it might not even be her weight that’s the issue. (P.S. I just started the video....my comment may change after watching).
God bless.
Remember: the goal is to be “Healthy, Whole, Healed and Confident...TG”...no matter what your dress size
Trim down if you know you need to for all of the above reasons... For You, your family and no one else.
Anen!!!! I agree with you completely.
Amen 🙏🏾
The other white actress Tony forgot to mention was Kathy Bates. She was from the old school. What I like about her is she stayed the same size/ weight from the 80's, 90's, 2000 and up to today. She didn't do like the other full figured actress's start out one way then make a few bucks then lose weight to be like everyone else, and lose what they stood for in the beginning. Kathy didn't get roles that often, but when she did she did not alter herself for them . The roles she played in were looking for people just like who she was. Therefore she never changed she just waited for a call from an agent with something specific she would be perfect for.
And she nails those roles every time.
Gotta love Kathy Bates! She’s one of my favorite actresses of all time!🙂
I love Kathy Bates I can watch all her movies and when your talented and gifted they can’t deny you... it’s like they’ll make your look fit the role or make the song fit the artist.
I feel and look healthy as "overweight" woman.
Yes! This right here hits home! 🎯 Ppl be so surprised when you confident even tho you may do not look like what social media says is the norm! Shoot! I am still gonna rock whatever I have! 👏🏽
Let me watch this before I try and lose that extra 20 pounds before getting back in the dating world this year!!!! Lol
You betta lose that 20 if you need to
Lose it for your health sis, not for dating.
The way Tony hops in that chair when he "blocks people " 🤣🤣🤣.
That just took me out! 😂😂😂
Facts: Some Men Like "Heavier" Woman...Vis Versa .👍👍✌️
Am I they only one who is crying laughing at Tony’s sense of humor. 🤣🤣 Great message!
I’m laughing so hard!😂😂😂
No, his humor is getting me. I realized I understand more than I thought I did
Men love all sizes no matter what the size
I'm not plus size but I've seen plenty of plus size women walk in the room and every body is looking. We immediately pick up on rather or not her confidence is real or not. She's usually well dressed and just as friendly as I am. She don't mind giving genuine compliments to other women and just might know the latest dances too.
Everything the writer said is true. As a bigger women, majority of men who approach me just want to sleep with me. They don’t really want a relationship.
Thats how you feel about yourself!!
@@kialabrockman5042 Point made.
You're a good man Mr. Gaskins. You will be blessed three fold.
Being overweight is not ok, let’s not normalize it. Obesity is a very big problem in the US and especially the black population. It’s not the media’s portrayal, those are cold, hard facts.
Some women can have low self esteem because of them being heavier and some women have confidence about themselves too.
This was an Excellent video. You spoke on the topics and questions at hand, and you also used examples without shaming bigger women, name calling and if you don't lose weight scare tactics as to why she doesn't have a man.
Excellent commentary. Keep it coming and God bless you and your family.
This is soooo good. Breaking down perceptions.
1) Give men a chance! But never a second one. 2) Believe who they say and show themselves to be. 3) Always be prepared to show them your ass as you walk out that door (or kick theirs out the door). Stay respectful to yourself, you deserve the best of what makes YOU feel good!💥
This video blessed me, I needed to hear this ❤️. But when you called Gabourey Sidibe, Sigourney Weaver, I was in tears! 😂😂. Sigourney Weaver is the white lady from that movie Aliens lol. And action Jackson is still alive, he’s not dead yet! 🤣. Too funny!! But awesome video, well thought out.
I fell out when said Sigourney Weaver as well. 😂😂😂
I believe he’s speaking of the guy from the show that was on Disney channel called The Famous Jett Jackson the character name was Lee Thompson Young and he did pass away he committed suicide a few years back he was from the same city and state as me and Tony does favor him eyes and all.
I was cheated on thin and disciplined. I was very attractive and feminine. I became depressed, gained 60 lbs and am beginning my healing because I should not treat myself the way that man treated me. I have to love myself regardless of the immoral people out there.
Depends on how they were raised because many men in different cultures view big women as the type of woman to go for. Western Society though promotes skinny women as the beauty standard and disrespect big women. Which you will see throughout mainstream media...true or definitely true?
I’m a full figured woman who used to have a lot of confidence. I would look at myself and say, “Wow I’ve given life to 6 children and fed them” I’m still beautiful and can wear a size 14 I’m perfect. That has changed because of how men have treated me since I’ve been single
Don't allow the treatment of men to disturb your peace and contaminate your confidence. Better yet don't even ALLOW men with such attitudes and spirits to have access to you, the moment they disrespect you in the slightest form cut them off to preserve what God has given YOU........which is your self love.
It isn't just heavier women that men say those things to and make excuses to not enter into a relationship.
Wow. God bless you for sharing that blessing you gave today. it encouraged me
Good information Brother!!! Personally as a full figured woman, I have always been very confident!! Thus never having a problem with getting attention from men at all. Whatever you put out you'll get back. Some men may have looked at me in the past from afar and probably thought they could come at me side ways based upon the assumption I may be insecure, but as soon as they got up close or had a conversation they quickly realized that assumption was invalid! I'm blessed to have an amazing Husband who adores me! And whom I adore! He treats me like a Queen and I treat him like a King!! To God be all the glory!!!
Lol, I don’t discriminate either when it come to locking my door
you said a mouth full
Wow coming from Tony’s heart. Speaking with tears, and no fears....to be the man he is
Thank you for being a man of great character example. We appreciate that and you.
I believe I will attract the man that is suited for me, not based on my weight but on fate and love. I am worthy of love as I am. ❤
I’m gonna try to keep this short. I understand this young lady’s plight to a tee because often time this is what happened to me to the point I was literally turned off from dating men in general period. I always felt like I had to overcompensate because I’m not 36-24-36. I had to be super witty or extra funny or overdress (boardroom 3 pc suite and heels sharp) or sundress matching nails, toes and hair laid all the time and match from head to toe to prove a point. I’ve always been the pretty fat girl, the homegirl or awwww she cooler than a fan girl. And Just Right with Queen Latifah just happens to be my one of favorite movies because that’s exactly how I feel. That’s pretty much been my dating experience. You either meet guys who think you owe them something or guys who are ashamed to been seen with you out in the public but up under you talking shit behind closed doors. I feel like I had to overcompensate to prove a point, maybe to them, maybe to myself while dude was trying to holla at my homegirls and they scheming on drinks and a comeup I would have a pocket full of money and could literally buy the bar out if I wanted to. So I get it. I’ve learned these days who and what is for you is just that for you. I’m only concentrating on how to be a better, healthier me. No more competition, no more being a breadwinner to these bums just be happy and find inner peace within myself.