Be willing to leave!

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  • Опубликовано: 4 окт 2024
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Комментарии • 1,6 тыс.

  • @marvinwilliams2633
    @marvinwilliams2633 4 года назад +2981

    As a man, if you give us the license to drive at the speed we want with no restrictions, we'll cause catastrophic damage! Set restrictions and limits and if we as men don't obey your law or expectations write us a ticket that has a debt to paid. You set the debt payment end of discussion! Demand greatness from us, and don't operate in your feelings! Thanks Tony! Keep pushing us men to be men!

    • @nikkyshamz2696
      @nikkyshamz2696 4 года назад +47

      👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 great man.

    • @moonflower9406
      @moonflower9406 4 года назад +206

      He should be emotionally intelligent enough to know how to behave. That driving at catastrophic speed hurts people.
      I watch carefully on a date how he treats other people and if he has empathy/respect. I'm looking for his character and integrity.
      I don't judge men based on how they treats women, cause men will do ANYTHING to turn a 'no' into a receptive 'yes'.
      They will follow all your rules. They will even wait till your wedding night if you ask them too.
      It doesn't mean a thing about his character or the joy you will share long term.
      What matters is how he treats people he can get nothing from. Cause then you will see how he will treat you when you are pregnant and in pain.
      Or if hard times hit and he is poor, will he share what he has with you? Look for a man willing to be LIKE Jesus.
      Don't look for a man who only follows the rules.

    • @JVLIVSPhotography
      @JVLIVSPhotography 4 года назад +62

      Love the analogy. Not everything has to be “by-the-book”, but a huge majority of the things mentioned are just plain common sense. Bust sadly, common sense in this world, ain’t so common now. Especially living in these last days.

    • @happygitana
      @happygitana 4 года назад +21

      Nice analogy Marvin

    • @geminitwix
      @geminitwix 4 года назад +19

      I LOVE THIS COMMENT! THANK YOU!

  • @lailaempressoftheeast9171
    @lailaempressoftheeast9171 4 года назад +2106

    If someone makes you feel negative emotions (anxiety, confusion, sadness, self-doubt), leave it.

  • @srky4346
    @srky4346 4 года назад +1890

    When you shut someone down for treating you less than, you open yourself up to something better.

  • @la_julz
    @la_julz 2 года назад +510

    Leaving a man is actually very liberating. You lose nothing if you dont even depend on him financially. Take yourself back queen!

  • @optimismdesignsd.jackson4413
    @optimismdesignsd.jackson4413 4 года назад +649

    Sometimes you have to leave because, they are emotionally unavailable...

    • @musicmaker1311
      @musicmaker1311 3 года назад +34

      Just left bcz of this very reason.

    • @jadevirtualbusinesssolutio2434
      @jadevirtualbusinesssolutio2434 3 года назад +14

      This is where I am right now. Husband is too chummy with his colleague and met up with another woman. Gave him an ultimatum, work on the marriage or divorce.

    • @Safire-ji1vl
      @Safire-ji1vl 3 года назад +2

      Mi can’t deal wit dat! It’s too much

    • @elvirascruggs7224
      @elvirascruggs7224 3 года назад +3

      Taking on someone else junk , frankly their BS

    • @lovelylife1896
      @lovelylife1896 2 года назад +3

      💯💯💯💯💯‼️‼️‼️

  • @loridori
    @loridori 4 года назад +1100

    Basically he’s saying if you don’t stand for something you’ll fall for anything! You must have self love and self respect.

    • @humblebee4
      @humblebee4 4 года назад +11

      Exactly!!!

    • @fanessfirstplace70
      @fanessfirstplace70 3 года назад +8

      You are absolutely correct! But what if you have a Grown ass boy that you are dealing with,where you set just basic rules as little as no shoe wearing in thee home,no smoking in thee home! And that crazy brotha always act out in ur home and say,Oh tell them rules to some dog's! Those 2 rules are like basic,And mind you that grown boy is 15 years older then myself! He is one toxic person and Im thee type that I do not what so ever like any drama in my home nor any where around me ever! But he always come back 2 my home,but for what? Yes we have 6 kid's together,but No,he never took care of my kid's @ all...Yeah he will pop up nd bring something's when he want's to,just like a lil child,lol! But any how get thee strength to get up nd leave that toxic-ness in every way possible,Be Bless Ya'll Alway's! Happy Holiday's!

    • @user-ue5xi5jw7q
      @user-ue5xi5jw7q 3 года назад +10

      @@fanessfirstplace70 1. Stop sleeping with him. 2. Stop letting him in. If he wants to see the kids, he can pick them up and take them somewhere. Raise your standards and set boundaries because what you allow will always continue.

    • @fanessfirstplace70
      @fanessfirstplace70 3 года назад +2

      @@user-ue5xi5jw7q Whom said I was sleeping with this Grown Boy,lol? No..... This is not what I posted nor said!! You might have to go back to my origional statement my friend! I dont sleep with him,for many year's,I don't let him in,I said he pop's up,lol! Meaning Grown boy pop's up @ my residence,knocking and banging on my door,lol!! I have high standard's and boundaries,I even blocked his number from ringing my phone,I cant and wont control a GROWN-BOY'S ACTION'S,farewell and take care!!

    • @racilleashley9506
      @racilleashley9506 Год назад

      A.m.e.n.

  • @nontobekomncwabe4976
    @nontobekomncwabe4976 4 года назад +774

    I blocked him today. 🤣😌
    Never going back.

  • @kenishalperkins
    @kenishalperkins 4 года назад +557

    Every successful relationship that I know of the woman took a break from the man to show him that she wasn’t to be played with !!

  • @a.fleming
    @a.fleming 4 года назад +641

    It hurt like hell but I walked away. Taking it a day at a time

    • @TasiaGonsalvesBarriero
      @TasiaGonsalvesBarriero 4 года назад +45

      You'll make it dear. I promise you it will get better with time. Feeding your mind with teachings like this will certainly help. And if you're a praying person, spending some time in prayer and reflection will help too. Blessings on this journey!

    • @a.fleming
      @a.fleming 4 года назад +9

      @@TasiaGonsalvesBarriero thank you so much! God bless you

    • @ud558
      @ud558 3 года назад +11

      Yes . I'm healing everyday

    • @1zcbm11
      @1zcbm11 3 года назад +14

      Congrats, beautiful. You're a strong woman and a role model to those around you.

    • @kingrea2420
      @kingrea2420 3 года назад +9

      My story to . and I’m so much better for it 😊

  • @NurseMo337
    @NurseMo337 4 года назад +895

    my "let go " game is so strong now because of u brother Tony. be blessed i made it

  • @chrisparker6249
    @chrisparker6249 4 года назад +1055

    Settling doesn't resemble self worth. We have to go into a relationship with the mindset of greatness and if the other party doesn't recognize it, find your nearest exit!

  • @stilljocelyn4166
    @stilljocelyn4166 4 года назад +551

    Yep after 2yrs had no choice but to walk away. It’s been 4 months, ain’t heard from him and it’s ok. I walked away cuz I respect/love myself

    • @nikkyshamz2696
      @nikkyshamz2696 4 года назад +14

      👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

    • @sphinxkitty4951
      @sphinxkitty4951 4 года назад +42

      This needs to be me next, he’s draining me emotionally, financially and spiritually

    • @lakeetrathames2745
      @lakeetrathames2745 10 дней назад

      Me too 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

  • @Dr.Elaine1
    @Dr.Elaine1 4 года назад +727

    “You have to let a person know what you won’t tolerate.” TG

    • @andriantaylor2727
      @andriantaylor2727 4 года назад +8

      THANKS SO MUCH. PUT UR FOOT DOWN

    • @treasethebeast8553
      @treasethebeast8553 4 года назад +4

      Awesome

    • @daniellem578
      @daniellem578 4 года назад +44

      I learned this first hand. I messed up big time with my ex husband. I paid all the bills, spoiled him, paid for vacations. He didn’t respect me. I got tired after 5 years & divorced him. That’s when he wanted to act right!!!! But it was too late. I learned self worth is way more important than a “marriage”.

    • @Dr.Elaine1
      @Dr.Elaine1 4 года назад +25

      Marsha Griffiths
      Exactly. “You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.” TG

    • @IslamWorldOne
      @IslamWorldOne 4 года назад +3

      Dr. Elaine ❤️

  • @toniwilliams9817
    @toniwilliams9817 4 года назад +481

    What people don't realize is that the woman is the prize. The bible says that he who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favor with the Lord. God is blessing the man with the woman and God will bless a man who takes a wife. But there's a caveat to that, you cannot treat her bad. The word says that you should treat her with respect so that your prayers aren't hindered. 1 Peter 3:7.
    So when a man feels he is the prize and has options, he is showing pride and ego. He is supposed to lay down his life for his wife and give himself for her. That means give his WHOLE self to his wife. This is why so many people are single and marriages don't work out. It's out of order....

    • @iamabundant7821
      @iamabundant7821 4 года назад +22

      Perfectly written! I screenshot this...God bless you for sharing 🙏🏽

    • @lorigray1150
      @lorigray1150 4 года назад +6

      Exactly! Very well said sis!!!👏 👌 🙌

    • @toniwilliams9817
      @toniwilliams9817 4 года назад +4

      I AM ABUNDANT thank u! You are so welcome 🥰

    • @toniwilliams9817
      @toniwilliams9817 4 года назад +3

      Lori Gray thank u 🥰

    • @kimberlyl.mccauley8501
      @kimberlyl.mccauley8501 3 года назад +11

      More men need to learn this before marriage!

  • @marilynking527
    @marilynking527 4 года назад +594

    Yep everybody tough in the comments. Leaving is so hard to do I won’t lie and heartbreak ain’t no joke fr

    • @ladennayoung2939
      @ladennayoung2939 4 года назад +66

      Yes you are right. But I'm fighting with the help of the Lord. I'm trying to focus on healing and self love. It is much more painful to stay with someone that is misusing and abusing you. Then it is to sit in the pain of walking away from that individual. There is a blessing on the other side of the pain.

    • @lillianpitts9853
      @lillianpitts9853 4 года назад +40

      Going through now I chose to walk away hurting,but I need to heal I was suffering more staying

    • @ladennayoung2939
      @ladennayoung2939 4 года назад +4

      @@lillianpitts9853 same

    • @marilynking527
      @marilynking527 4 года назад +13

      Ladenna Young so true!! I’m so happy I healed I was so bitter for a long time

    • @marilynking527
      @marilynking527 4 года назад +13

      Lillian Pitts me too it was rough but worth it in the end. I did us both a favor though

  • @kilimanjaro5537
    @kilimanjaro5537 4 года назад +346

    Men only change when you leave them and let them know you won’t tolerate any bull crap. If you stay they’ll never change but if you leave, they might finally realize what they had.

    • @maraka8106
      @maraka8106 Год назад +2

      Bull crap🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @shedagirl1726
    @shedagirl1726 4 года назад +780

    A man will truly try you! I use to think i was walking away too soon but anytime i went back after men did me wrong it never worked! They never changed...so i was done FINALLY!

    • @KeyLoLoKye
      @KeyLoLoKye 4 года назад +115

      My experience, when I took them back, the disrespect was WORSE than before. I’ll never do it again. No way.

    • @Capricorn-mt1ke
      @Capricorn-mt1ke 4 года назад +60

      They are who they are. They don't change it's what the next person in their life will be ok with that your not ok with

    • @ella.q366
      @ella.q366 4 года назад +35

      why they try us though what ever happened to just having a fucking good time. Wtf has ever happened to the world . lol this is not okay.

    • @darlenesweet-wright7985
      @darlenesweet-wright7985 4 года назад +6

      How long did stay gone and did you communicate with him during your time away?

    • @Helena88111
      @Helena88111 3 года назад +12

      @@KeyLoLoKye This is true... Currently going through this after giving chance after chance so sad :(

  • @laneys2030
    @laneys2030 4 года назад +142

    At some point you have to stop talking and leave him alone

  • @samanthaa1584
    @samanthaa1584 4 года назад +284

    Lord rebuke grown boys from my life pleeaasssee

  • @cherylscott8576
    @cherylscott8576 4 года назад +523

    When I told my husband I was leaving and divorcing him because I did not feel he loved me and I explained the reasons why I felt he did not love me: he said he did not think I would ever leave him. I put up with a lot ok emotional abuse and public humiliation. And even though my younger brothers tried to tell me for years that by the way he was treating me he really had no respect for me, I still stayed married for 21 yrs until I had enough. He never physically abused me, but the disrespect, emotional abuse, platonic female relationships despite my feelings, and public humiliation in front of our friends was too much. Separated for 3 yrs and divorced for almost 2 yrs. No longer emotionally and physically sick.

    • @veronicag4593
      @veronicag4593 3 года назад +18

      Sorry you had to go through that, queen 💜

    • @888love7
      @888love7 3 года назад +12

      Proud of u, that's great xx

    • @denisemyers733
      @denisemyers733 3 года назад +15

      I’m glad you pulled yourself outa that toxicity. stay blessed!

    • @bellejackson15
      @bellejackson15 3 года назад +15

      I read your post it touch my heart. Mental, physical emotionally abuse it's bad for your health. I thank God for you be blessed sister.

    • @candirayne470
      @candirayne470 3 года назад +10

      I can directly relate to your story. No contact for 2yrs. Almost finished divorcing ❤️

  • @christinewarren8134
    @christinewarren8134 4 года назад +354

    Cheating has to be a deal breaker folks. Not worth it!

    • @christinewarren8134
      @christinewarren8134 4 года назад +1

      @@DJRenee your opinion 💁

    • @ladennayoung2939
      @ladennayoung2939 4 года назад +20

      @@DJRenee WOW. Smh. This kind of thinking is why women go what we go through. Smh.

    • @lavondatodd573
      @lavondatodd573 4 года назад +4

      Nobody is perfect. But you have to do whats best for you. What you eat don't make nobody else shit. So if u can't handle the heat get off the pot. Best luck

    • @quanettaanderson3079
      @quanettaanderson3079 4 года назад +30

      That's my deal breaker too Christine. I am loyal and faithful until you cheat. Then I'm out. Can't do the Beyonce thing.

    • @teshaparx4802
      @teshaparx4802 4 года назад +2

      So true!!

  • @Moonpiebye
    @Moonpiebye 4 года назад +364

    LADIES never take back a cheater.. imagine what he or she perform in the bed..then picture them doing that with the other person..that image should keep you moving👟👟

    • @elainegomillion978
      @elainegomillion978 4 года назад +33

      This is VERY TRUE!!! You need to be on a blow horn with this, or even a have this posted on a blimp. The problem is people don't want to hear the truth or accept it. They get extremely angry when you speak the truth.

    • @teshaparx4802
      @teshaparx4802 4 года назад +16

      Facts!! Worked for me!

    • @boosiechic1
      @boosiechic1 4 года назад +31

      Right! That thought made me sick to my stomach. Goodbye!

    • @ivettevelez2386
      @ivettevelez2386 4 года назад +46

      It's all I see when his cheating pops up in my mind. Make me feel sick knowing he pleasured another woman the same way he pleasured me or better. It hurts too because I know I'm a sexy gorgeous clean woman who was loyal to him. What a waste!

    • @msshay421
      @msshay421 4 года назад +19

      Like I had this nigga tell me all the glory details. Little did he know it wasn’t to humiliate him but to KNOW I am making the right decision never to come back to you or y’all baby !!!!

  • @StephaniesWorld7
    @StephaniesWorld7 4 года назад +463

    “You gotta be willing to lose them, in order to keep them”

    • @Rigoletta53
      @Rigoletta53 2 года назад +4

      Yeah don’t waste any more time !

  • @vchild
    @vchild 4 года назад +183

    You gotta be willing to lose them and stay gone!

  • @marishalewis484
    @marishalewis484 4 года назад +410

    If you have to force it to fit, it’s not for you-Tony Gaskins
    Be blessed, I made it!

  • @akuasalaam490
    @akuasalaam490 4 года назад +196

    I will DROP everything for ME!!! Point. Blank. Periodttt.

  • @Nekole1
    @Nekole1 4 года назад +312

    Its this one ex that I thought that I would never get over. And I did. Now that I am looking back, I can not believe I wasted my energy and time on a man like that. Never again. And to this day he begs me asking to sleep with me, thats it. Blocked! I will never go back to his behind.

    • @Synquette
      @Synquette 4 года назад +14

      Noelle Kennedy thankssssss so much for sharing this! I feel so encouraged to know I will get over these feelings

    • @toussaintan
      @toussaintan 4 года назад +20

      and he still don't have a clue because he's focused on sleeping with you. SMH

    • @AliveBlessedGrateful
      @AliveBlessedGrateful 4 года назад +16

      I’m praying to get to the other side asap & in one piece. My heart hurts but my head tells me to move on.

    • @toussaintan
      @toussaintan 4 года назад +21

      @@AliveBlessedGratefulStay strong. Follow your head....it knows the facts. Your heart will heal. It's better to hurt today than suffer damage for a lifetime.

    • @patricemurray6412
      @patricemurray6412 4 года назад +7

      Omg! I feel and know your pain. Smh

  • @HiThere-yu7vr
    @HiThere-yu7vr 4 года назад +328

    "Cant build an empire with a liar" good one Tony! Thumbs way up!

  • @shedagirl1726
    @shedagirl1726 4 года назад +394

    I always say people know what they can and can not do to a person, but they will def test the water first!

  • @photogenicshea4801
    @photogenicshea4801 4 года назад +100

    I’m 42- Cheating is a NON NEGOTIABLE!!!! I am out same day!!!

  • @bintissa5929
    @bintissa5929 4 года назад +117

    I just want to loose him forever . I love him but he isn't good for me

  • @t.p.anderson1833
    @t.p.anderson1833 4 года назад +123

    Draw a line in the sand & mean it! That's what he's saying.

  • @sheenaanderson8759
    @sheenaanderson8759 4 года назад +165

    I been feeling like my boyfriend is playing games and not being honest. I know I'm right. I dont like to play games with people feeling. Yesterday I told him I'm done I'm moving on..... he been calling and texting I'm not going to answer him. I'm praying to God about it. God will heal me

    • @Breanne_M
      @Breanne_M 3 года назад +5

      Hope you moved on since then sis. 🙏🏾

    • @christinan005
      @christinan005 3 года назад

      Amén

    • @Lilsweetings
      @Lilsweetings 3 года назад +1

      I hope you stuck to it!

    • @skyfall1481
      @skyfall1481 3 года назад +3

      If your spidey senses are tingling and you’re not a paranoid person. You’re hovering over the target!!! Well done for moving on. It’s not easy but the right thing to do.

  • @annfrank90
    @annfrank90 4 года назад +91

    My husband of 14 years did this he cheated 3 times and I took him back. I found out 2 months he was sleeping around again. He then had the nerve to say he realized he got what he need and want at home and he should have never did it. I told him its done. He was making ppl think I was just being crazy. He had me thinking I was inadequate in some way as a woman. We would go weeks without sex, no romance, and minimal effort. I finally realized I have power over my situation. I found my value and when you know your value you control how other ppl treat you. I see that I have to move on. It hurts and we have little kids together but I can't keep being his fool.

  • @Jmay411
    @Jmay411 3 года назад +139

    It's not a game. Waiting often leads to expectations, & expectations lead to disappointment. When you leave him, you have to get over him. If you get back together with negative energy, it definitely won't work.

  • @maerose5053
    @maerose5053 4 года назад +156

    It takes a lot of effort to balance the scale of having boundaries and being a giver.

  • @sotoon2219
    @sotoon2219 4 года назад +125

    I instantly thought of Fantasia song ‘Sometimes you have to lose to Win Again’. 🗣 Be blessed. I made it.

  • @ACole-to3ij
    @ACole-to3ij 4 года назад +92

    No transparency in the comments . I stayed and got left . Biggest mistake . Now, I’m doing the work, Thanks Tony .

    • @KimberlyWilliams-yk5ds
      @KimberlyWilliams-yk5ds 3 года назад +3

      He probably did you a favor...his loss. I pray God gives you the love, comfort, & peace you need. I can definitely relate...working up to doing the work now.🙏🏾❤️

    • @taghazoutmoon5031
      @taghazoutmoon5031 5 месяцев назад +1

      It's hard to leave. Probably better he left instead of you. If you left, you'd ask yourself if it was the right thing to do.

  • @dimediamond
    @dimediamond 4 года назад +173

    ❤Please use this quarantine time to .....get your home and life in order.❤ Use these last days wisely in love, jobs, relationships and with family.❤

  • @misslattybaby1949
    @misslattybaby1949 4 года назад +77

    Leaving is hard when you love someone and you have invested so much time, emotions etc.....it is very embarrassing when the person u plan to spend your life with keeps cheating

  • @michelledreyer8147
    @michelledreyer8147 4 года назад +63

    Lack of transparency is actually dishonesty as well. It facilitates distrust. That’s a real breaker for me!

    • @angieeebabieee
      @angieeebabieee 3 года назад +5

      That's why I left yesterday

    • @skyfall1481
      @skyfall1481 3 года назад +8

      With holding information is damaging and equal to lying!! If you have nothing to hide, why act that way? Walk right out of their life, they are low quality people!

    • @debmccafferty1007
      @debmccafferty1007 2 года назад +2

      We had an LDR and his communication was super shady. We never met up as he was a deceiver.

  • @prettydiamonds2343
    @prettydiamonds2343 4 года назад +101

    I'm teaching him how to treat me. I can tell he's getting frustrated. Oh well, that's the rules...

    • @724kdr
      @724kdr 4 года назад +10

      I’ve experienced this too and it’s sad to me because it means him doing more to be with me is a chore for him when I love him so much.

    • @kenishalperkins
      @kenishalperkins 4 года назад +23

      Yup it’s like a tug of war pretty much. Especially if they’re used to getting their way with every other woman.

    • @sharonhall7439
      @sharonhall7439 3 года назад

      me too

    • @callieann5786
      @callieann5786 3 года назад +1

      facts. like i’m doing too much

  • @domt4588
    @domt4588 2 года назад +22

    I so wanted it to work…but my gut told me not to stay in the relationship. I miss him but I realized that he truly never loved me. He didn’t even fight for me when I left.
    I definitely made the right choice.

  • @724kdr
    @724kdr 4 года назад +152

    We might find love or we might not. The key to taking back your power is to not be afraid to do without love. It won’t be easy but I suppose it can be easier than living on a rollercoaster taking breadcrumbs and being used and losing yourself.

    • @jcymngo
      @jcymngo 2 года назад +2

      (Romantic) Love is overrated!

    • @charitysmith1903
      @charitysmith1903 2 года назад

      Faaaacccctttts on my way

    • @angelalynn4225
      @angelalynn4225 Год назад

      Amen

    • @charitysmith1903
      @charitysmith1903 Год назад

      Facccccts

    • @kekecampbell812
      @kekecampbell812 Год назад

      @@jcymngo 💯 it really is! Very very overrated…. Easiest way for someone to take advantage of you. So many people out here looking for someone to use and manipulate… sick of it… better off alone man

  • @firstlady2223
    @firstlady2223 3 года назад +53

    You know or recognize someone’s value only when you lose them.

  • @Best2doit318
    @Best2doit318 4 года назад +309

    Absolutely! Tony you have helped me so much. I recently left my children’s father 6 months ago who cheated and lied for years. If I would have left a long time ago, I would have saved myself 9 years heartbreak and emotional trauma. I stayed because I wanted my kids to have a “family”. Mentally and emotionally I feel amazing now. I am getting the three B’s together. Thank you again Tony I have found my self respect 🙏🏾🙌🏾

    • @toussaintan
      @toussaintan 4 года назад +16

      Self respect is Under-Rated....peace be with you ✌

    • @angelicagabrieli7169
      @angelicagabrieli7169 4 года назад +14

      May OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST BLESS You ABUNDANTLY in all areas of your life IN THE MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS CHRIST! AMEN!!!

    • @nikkyshamz2696
      @nikkyshamz2696 4 года назад +3

      👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

    • @millennialgeisha2192
      @millennialgeisha2192 4 года назад +3

      Same here @Queen Experience!! 🙌🏽 Time to take our lives back 💯

    • @wec0404
      @wec0404 4 года назад +6

      Congratulations on your new beginning! God bless you.

  • @jeanmontiel4991
    @jeanmontiel4991 4 года назад +220

    You crack me up! I never thought I could laugh so much over leaving someone. God bless your talent!

    • @chefcharlieskitchen533
      @chefcharlieskitchen533 4 года назад +5

      Right! It was the way he said "take advantage of me!" LOL that took me out!! 🤣🤣🤣

  • @Heavens_touch
    @Heavens_touch 4 года назад +65

    I don't tolerate NOTHING im not doing to anyone else, I don't set standards for people that I don't hold myself to as well. What I REQUIRE I GIVE & its just that simple

    • @gihanmusa6087
      @gihanmusa6087 3 года назад +4

      Sis. And that’s why you will always win. Period.💕

    • @Taylor-Simone
      @Taylor-Simone 3 года назад +3

      Amen 🥰

  • @bambam6231973
    @bambam6231973 4 года назад +64

    I was so hurt but I had to leave...cried about it daily but got tired of being mistreated it did not start that way.

  • @OnlikeDonkeyKong422
    @OnlikeDonkeyKong422 2 года назад +22

    I will hold on for dear life for the absolute longest. But when I’m done, I AM DONE!!

  • @LotusGlaze
    @LotusGlaze 3 года назад +106

    My bf has been getting too comfortable. I’ve been ignoring him for 3 days now and I miss him . But I’ve wrote down his pros and cons and when I think of him I read the cons and it helps . Lol now I’m here . I needed a stronger solution . Know ya worth y’all ! ❤️💯

    • @jakabae5900
      @jakabae5900 3 года назад +12

      I will try this,in same situation i gave him so many chances to change but me staying and complaining made him continue treating me how he likes

    • @TheNatashajackson
      @TheNatashajackson 3 года назад +11

      He’s allowed three days without contact that is your answer sis. Let him continue life without contact as he’s ok with full three days without you unless you tell me he’s outside now. Just realised it’s been a while, how did it end did you work it out?

    • @li5043
      @li5043 2 года назад

      @GlazeLotus how did it go

    • @li5043
      @li5043 2 года назад

      @@jakabae5900 how did it go

    • @morountodunokedara
      @morountodunokedara 2 года назад +1

      wow... want to know how this went

  • @SincerelyTaliaxo
    @SincerelyTaliaxo 4 года назад +155

    Willing to leave is one of the best things you can do !!!!!! And trust if they really love you ... you’ll know !!! No questions no confusion. No games intended! You goin learn today!!! 😬 thank TG

  • @nafi212
    @nafi212 4 года назад +108

    I don’t know who are the 47 people who disliked this when everything he is saying is 💯 correct

    • @brandytucker4024
      @brandytucker4024 4 года назад +5

      Nafisa 101
      Exactly what i was thinking!
      These grown ass toxic fake men/women on here wit thumbs down That are playing game on people and refuse to change their nasty toxic behaviour.
      Are vex and cant no hide!
      TG wise Godly knowledge wisdom is telling us these toxic folk on their game. 💞🇬🇧

  • @tonid773
    @tonid773 3 года назад +75

    You truly teach people how to treat you.

  • @tbuttercup2162
    @tbuttercup2162 4 года назад +88

    I wish I left a Long time ago! I put up with way too much and you’re right, they just lose respect for you for putting up with them!

  • @briacasey2749
    @briacasey2749 4 года назад +60

    This man is really giving game - sheesh

  • @Aquaairintuitive1111
    @Aquaairintuitive1111 4 года назад +65

    Exactly, you teach ppl how to treat you by what you tolerate, accept, or block.

  • @donnehedgepeth877
    @donnehedgepeth877 4 года назад +106

    Be blessed! I made it! Sometimes leaving is uncomfortable but it is needed to get the respect your deserve. Never settle!

  • @lajamost273
    @lajamost273 4 года назад +71

    Man I left my grown boy at 7 months pregnant for all of the above. Everything you could think of he did. I left and THE NEXT DAY he had a party and some female in our house. I moved 8 hrs away and have been gone going on 7 months. I still tried giving him ample opportunities to fix it so we could get back together. The last straw FOR HIM was me moving out of my parents house and getting my own space NOT WITH HIM. Now mind you he lost his job and everything when I left and is STILL on his friends couch with NO JOB. He said since I'm doing better without him then he doesn't want to work it out anymore. I went OFF I have this man's child and he mad bc I'm bettering myself and not wanting to continue living with my parents! I left and it didn't work. He just kept doing the same stuff it was just easier for him because I'm not up under him no more. So much time wasted really thinking he would change.

    • @Newladyn09
      @Newladyn09 4 года назад +34

      He is mad because you're doing better. But he doesn't realize that Karma is hitting him with no job, no home, and a broken spirit. Karma will keep hitting him until he fixes his spirit.

    • @lajamost273
      @lajamost273 4 года назад +13

      @@Newladyn09 yeah and that's what I figured its just sad bc ppl you care about are the ones who seem to hurt you the most. But I've learned and hopefully I can continue to strive and not worry about him.

    • @cathrinet6298
      @cathrinet6298 4 года назад +4

      @@Newladyn09 👏🏽👏🏽💯

    • @mayasheartdesiire
      @mayasheartdesiire 4 года назад +13

      Sounds like he want you to be his mother. 🤦🏽‍♀️Good thing you left him. Best wishes to you and your little one.

    • @baliemz
      @baliemz 4 года назад +6

      He expected you to be down and out -now it’s what’s happening to him. And you moving out of your parents place -he automatically is taking defeat because worse case scenario for him is that you’ll “meet someone “ and do what you want to do. They don’t want you flourishing

  • @Jakilyn
    @Jakilyn 5 месяцев назад +8

    I literally just experienced the most confusing relationship of my life. This man pursued me for months. Studied me. Gifted me. Learned my hobbies and made travel plans for us all the time. Gained my trust just to drop me stating "we are incompatible"
    All because I won't allow the disrespect of him texting a specific female friend late at night or being at her beck and call
    I'm in utter shock
    He liked the chase I guess then dropped me like a hot potato. I won't tolerate that. Especially since she was a brand new friend he had just met. Like what? You can't cater to her when youre trying to build with me. I'm not controlling but it was inappropriate

    • @queenkeesh8660
      @queenkeesh8660 5 месяцев назад +1

      It was very in appropriate some men just want sneaky links on the side n trying to pretend it’s innocent

  • @alexandraacosta621
    @alexandraacosta621 4 года назад +75

    My ex of 3 and a half years just left me.
    I would stand up for the things that I wanted and the things that I disliked.
    He followed pornstars and such which i did not like...he unfollowed after i said i would not tolerate that. A year later hes following them again...i bring it up again and he gets defensive.
    He already knows he completely disrespected me the whole relationship.
    I gave everything I could for someone who had nothing to offer. I tried to be a woman who motivated him because I have big goals that are going to be met and I wanted him to be a part of that.
    Every argument was some how MY fault...everything always got flipped around leaving me so confused and anxious.
    I now realize I never respected myself because I stayed for someone who never wanted a future with me but claimed he did.
    All talk no action. NEVER AGAIN.

    • @cynthiaurugutia736
      @cynthiaurugutia736 3 года назад +3

      Do you think someone who is into porn will change? I am currently dating a man in his 50s and found out porn links on his phone. He is also into tiktok. Im 28 yrs old and he said he would change that although he said he wasnt sure why I was making a huge deal since most men are into that and its normal. He treats me very well but im starting to think that is a red flag. He also has 4 kids (all grown up) one of them is a product of him cheating on his then partner. Another red flag?

    • @alexandraacosta621
      @alexandraacosta621 3 года назад +5

      @@cynthiaurugutia736 girl that man is not changing!
      50 years of life and at this point it’s become an unconscious habit that he clearly sees no problem with.
      If it’s truly something you cannot tolerate, I say leave.
      But if to you it’s not that big of a deal and you’re okay, then stay!
      Sometimes it’s our insecurities that really make that circumstance worse :/
      But at the end of the day you are in control of who you have in your life and what you will tolerate.
      It’s truly something you have to contemplate.

    • @donnettadavis6809
      @donnettadavis6809 3 года назад +4

      Sis, glad you got out of that situation. Sounds like a similar situation I just recently walked away from. I mean like exactly the same. Arguments felt me confused and anxious as well. Then, I remembered: God is not the author of confusion! Glad we loved ourselves enough to flee from something not serving us. Cheers to us for doing better...🥂

    • @alexandraacosta621
      @alexandraacosta621 3 года назад +1

      @@donnettadavis6809 sending you so much love to you beautiful!
      Making space to attract better💕

    • @donnettadavis6809
      @donnettadavis6809 3 года назад +1

      @@alexandraacosta621 Yaaaassssssss!!! Can't wait to see what God has in store for us!!! To attracting better...💃🎉💥💕

  • @texasrider8530
    @texasrider8530 3 года назад +28

    No he didn't just say, "your goldfish gonna try you". 😂

  • @Demi.d3mi
    @Demi.d3mi 4 года назад +40

    It's 100% easier said than done. So many are in denial

  • @ms.williams6907
    @ms.williams6907 4 года назад +37

    It took me THREE times. I swear on everything my third time I had no mf tears in my eyes . I told his ass to lose my number and don’t think another second of speaking to me again and I mf mean it! BLOCKED

  • @PoeticJustic3
    @PoeticJustic3 Год назад +12

    Honestly most couples that been together for 20+ years always say something to the effect of they went through a period where they had to leave each other alone for a significant amount of time.

  • @crystaldemarr
    @crystaldemarr 2 года назад +42

    Not leaving after someone cheating on you doesn't teach them anything, other than the fact that they can continue to take you for granted, because you don't love yourself enough to let them go.

    • @disnalee
      @disnalee 2 года назад +1

      I let him go and he cannot have me again. Yeah my hubby cheated and lied so he is solo.

  • @sheilathomas3188
    @sheilathomas3188 4 года назад +45

    I walked away now I'm dealing with not having to worry about who he is with. It hurted and I feeling dealing and healing.

  • @deeanderson1368
    @deeanderson1368 4 года назад +37

    I learned my lesson didn’t give any last words or explanation I literally just stopped calling and stop responding. He is very toxic but has that gift of gab that will have me right back in the same mess. I’m good I won’t go back either

  • @StephaniesWorld7
    @StephaniesWorld7 4 года назад +159

    Woo Tony you dropped this video at the right time 👏🏽👏🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 My ex was texting me last night trying to come back to my life and I said “No I don’t want you no more. He said his apology to me but I said “No more chances 🙅🏽‍♀️🙅🏽‍♀️, i don’t want to see you or hear from you ever in my life.” And after that I blocked him and deleted him (block ministry, holla) Thank you 🙏🏽 for “A woman’s influence” I read it front to back coupled with your videos I been watching and have been healing, knowing my self worth, and to love ❤️ myself.I know Jesus has the best thing for me. Thank you Tony and Sheri, God bless you guys.

    • @shedagirl1726
      @shedagirl1726 4 года назад +13

      GOOD 4U! STAY STRONG & IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF SIS❤

    • @rochellezhagui5425
      @rochellezhagui5425 4 года назад +12

      So proud of you sis!!! What you deserve will come your way, god bless ❤️❤️

    • @liabw05
      @liabw05 4 года назад +5

      Congratulations

    • @StephaniesWorld7
      @StephaniesWorld7 4 года назад +7

      Thank you 🙏🏽 guys for the encouragement

    • @kristijjones1087
      @kristijjones1087 4 года назад +8

      Proud of you. The BEST IS YET TO COME!!! Stay focus...

  • @awilson59
    @awilson59 4 года назад +38

    11:50 You have to have deal breakers bc when a person sees that no matter what they do you’re going to stay they won’t have respect for you!!!

  • @denisedean8503
    @denisedean8503 4 года назад +80

    Goodmorning Tony Gaskins and everyone I was willing to leave my marriage after infidelity .

    • @3D3LIA
      @3D3LIA 4 года назад +18

      God bless you! You did the right thing. Some people are able to come back from
      Something like that. Some cannot. I’m a person that once I been cheated on I do not go back because I know I will never trust again.

    • @olikiahill260
      @olikiahill260 4 года назад +7

      Good for you because you know your worth your a queen who deserves a king who loves and respect you like you for him blessings

    • @shedagirl1726
      @shedagirl1726 4 года назад +5

      Good for you! You have to show him that infidelity is unacceptable

    • @liabw05
      @liabw05 4 года назад +2

      Congratulations

    • @akajazzy12300
      @akajazzy12300 4 года назад +4

      The strength within you is phenomenal ❤️

  • @neudivineperfections8487
    @neudivineperfections8487 3 года назад +14

    I rather hurt now then to hurt later! I have to set boundaries

  • @kmac5822
    @kmac5822 4 года назад +123

    Tony, be blessed, I MADE IT!! Honestly, for 2 1/2 years I settled, then you woke me. I would not be here without you sir, you literally saved my life and I am forever grateful. Thank you💙

  • @Cocoafropuffs
    @Cocoafropuffs 4 года назад +88

    I haven't found fault in anything Mr. Tony said. For a long time, I thought I was wrong for breaking off a relationship with a best friend (turned boyfriend). We dated for 2 years and he said something to me I never thought he would EVER say. It was so disrespectful and broke me. I gave him space for 2 months, but I was still cordial during that time. I was working on me, trying to heal correctly and contemplate our relationship. We never got back together, which I'm happy about now. Overall, I am so thankful for that time and this video as confirmation 3 years later. Growth hurts, but is needed.

  • @sofi1672
    @sofi1672 3 года назад +15

    The longest I allowed a situationship was 17 days. I had to sit back & self-reflect. I truly figured out his intentions & he never really loved me. He was trying to get busy. I thank God I dodged that bullet.

  • @sharonjohns1686
    @sharonjohns1686 4 года назад +38

    The unsaid thing about this principle and self love journey we are not told is that you do truly lose a lot of people forever over it.... We are told they will come back better when we raise our standards or we will get higher quality but we are not told that for some people this means waiting for years. Think about a handsome successful guy displaying these behaviours you describe. There are millions of girls prettier than you out there on the line who will tolerate their behaviours.... Once you start setting standards for them girl they are gone. Why would they pay £10 for you when they can get you and more for £2...This is the part we havent been told. Its a high price we pay for raising our standards..... And sometimes you have to be prepared to be alone for quite sometime

    • @elizabethjones4325
      @elizabethjones4325 4 года назад +9

      More like £1.60 sis... the streets are cheap.

    • @nikkyshamz2696
      @nikkyshamz2696 4 года назад +18

      All that doesn't speak on the trauma, disrespect, heartache those girls will have to deal with for discounting themselves for her a man ,so yeah they didnt gain anything over us if the guy is a legit bum.

    • @TheodoreBakes
      @TheodoreBakes 4 года назад +1

      💯💯

    • @annabelokai4102
      @annabelokai4102 2 месяца назад

      @@sharonjohns1686 does this beat your piece of mind? I don’t think so
      Peace is the win here

  • @IttyBittyPiglet
    @IttyBittyPiglet 4 года назад +76

    This is my 3rd maybe 4th time listening to this video randomly and I'm still learning something new that I didn't process the first time.

  • @araceliscollazo5067
    @araceliscollazo5067 8 месяцев назад +4

    Tony I’m revisiting your old videos….”gettin it in my spirit” as you say. Such good wisdom, thank you!

  • @nannetteriveraa
    @nannetteriveraa 4 года назад +173

    Just wanted to share this with you real quick, Tony you saved me. The day I came across your videos it was a extreme blessing. I was broken in every way but it’s like God wanted/needed me to find your channel. Since watching your videos in every way my life has elevated. You did the work in these videos and I did the work at home by following what you’ve said. So thank you so much for taking a woman who was literally ready to give up on love into a woman who is solely focused on the Lord and waiting till one day a man proves himself worthy 🤍🙌🏽 God and You saved me!!! I’m crying while writing this, because this is real life and I am doing everything I can to make sure that I become a woman with influence.

    • @angelgreen9945
      @angelgreen9945 4 года назад +7

      I rather wait long than marry wrong.

  • @sunnysiderisesup4252
    @sunnysiderisesup4252 4 года назад +45

    People take advantage of you if they know you are not going anywhere. Your not going to leave. If you allow people to try you they will. Some people also try you to see how much they can get away with or some people do it because that is who they are or they are trying to call your bluff. If you have to leave someone because of something he did or didn't do, do not go back and allow the actions to happen.

  • @taghazoutmoon5031
    @taghazoutmoon5031 5 месяцев назад +5

    It's more painful to leave than to accept breadcrumbs. That's why people stay.

  • @riri5966
    @riri5966 6 месяцев назад +4

    Incase you need a reminder, staying longer won't make them love you more, it'll just make you seem little to no value in their eyes and how can you attract high value partner/people if you're not high value yourself

  • @Nova_vfx
    @Nova_vfx 3 года назад +16

    I’m planning my exit plan. AND not planning to make room for another. Nothing wrong with being single. Let God. Lol

  • @shenaniganswithshannera7772
    @shenaniganswithshannera7772 4 года назад +47

    Tony this really blessed me!! I’m 28 and I left someone last night because I felt like he was trying me on some nonsense! I felt bad, but this just confirmed that I did right for myself. Thank you!!!🙌🏾🙌🏾

  • @carrietownsend9334
    @carrietownsend9334 3 года назад +42

    This is absolutely correct, I’ve enabled bad behavior and it doesn’t change without a person being held accountable...

  • @cookingwithmaisha675
    @cookingwithmaisha675 3 года назад +10

    It’s not games...it’s setting boundaries!

  • @wonwan1579
    @wonwan1579 4 года назад +74

    Point blank, per eee odd!!!!

  • @cindyriehm7411
    @cindyriehm7411 3 года назад +8

    Right it's like boundaries. You have to b willing to set up boundaries even if the other doesn't like it.

  • @brownsugarglamour
    @brownsugarglamour 4 года назад +59

    Tony & these voices 😩😩😭💀💀💀💀💀

    • @christysherrell
      @christysherrell 4 года назад +1

      brownsugarglamour lol right! I love it! I’ve been over here cracking up

  • @Itismytime-Amen
    @Itismytime-Amen 3 года назад +27

    My second time listening to this. I feel like everyday you should evaluate your relationship. The biggest mistake we can make as ladies is letting things slide years down the line. Check that behavior that day. Stop waiting 2yrs then saying i finally left. This was also my mistake as well. Nip the small offenses now or reap the bigger ones later. Evaluate on a daily basis!!

  • @sisterinchrist4698
    @sisterinchrist4698 4 года назад +75

    Just ordered “ A Women’s Influence” !! I’m so excited🤪❤️❤️

    • @dafnenoel9825
      @dafnenoel9825 4 года назад +1

      Am going to order it Tomorrow.

    • @bridgeidiot262
      @bridgeidiot262 4 года назад +2

      How much is it hun?

    • @tiffanyjohnson4271
      @tiffanyjohnson4271 4 года назад

      I just finished it..you will love it! It's a Good read!💓

    • @tiffanyjohnson4271
      @tiffanyjohnson4271 4 года назад +2

      @@bridgeidiot262 i got my book from target for like $18

    • @oliviahatchett9334
      @oliviahatchett9334 4 года назад

      Bridgette Sellars i can’t wait to start reading mine!

  • @chanteljubilee982
    @chanteljubilee982 4 года назад +19

    It upsets me because I can relate to this with my current situation. I know he sees me as beneficial to him so he tells me of course what he thinks I want to hear to keep me around , but if a man will speak about being with you but yet you both don’t claim each other , it speaks a lot of volume

  • @deboramorris-davis8011
    @deboramorris-davis8011 4 года назад +6

    This is so true,us women stay in bad situationships for too long,wasting precious time!

  • @shoneliagilbert7094
    @shoneliagilbert7094 4 года назад +38

    I'm still hurting from walking away from "the love of my life", we have 2 kids, but there was no progress Everytime I stayed so I left. I love myself 💕 more than I love his shenanigans

    • @monicakeys2843
      @monicakeys2843 3 года назад +3

      Going through this now. I'm so tired and drained

    • @naomik3368
      @naomik3368 3 года назад +1

      @@monicakeys2843 sending lots of positive energy your way dear.

    • @monicakeys2843
      @monicakeys2843 3 года назад +2

      @@naomik3368 thank you so much.

  • @camilleanselm7788
    @camilleanselm7788 3 года назад +5

    Funny I came across this video now- I’m in the process of back my stuff. My husband of almost 5 years has ran off with his mistress and she has told me that he does not want me. Imagine that- I never took vows with this girl but she’s his mouth piece? Oh ok, God go with them. My peace is paramount and my 8 month child needs me. They will get what’s coming to them.

    • @MsAldil
      @MsAldil 2 года назад +1

      My heart pains for you 💔

  • @mollypaskie5039
    @mollypaskie5039 2 года назад +2

    I left moved out, he didn't even hold the door open for me.
    Not sure where I'm going to live but I know deep down I deserve a man not a grown boy.

  • @Charisewilson
    @Charisewilson 4 года назад +28

    🔥 This man is the truth y’all. 💯

  • @rayray094life
    @rayray094life 3 года назад +19

    To be honest, I’m doing this with my husband. Showing him I won’t tolerate or REWARD bad behavior towards me. Also that I’m not gonna be relying on him for my needs anymore. That way he will show himself in his entirety without my clingy ness, desperation, and influence. I realized that I had to fall back so that I could see the truth more clearly. And he’s feeling the heat. I feel like because he doesn’t have the tools to handle it and doesn’t know what to do he will either end up cheating to feed his ego or he will leave and either is perfectly fine with me! Move over and let a king be rightfully throned. Now if he gets the memo and shows me something different, then we have something to work with 🤷🏾‍♀️

  • @Chelle1Love_
    @Chelle1Love_ 3 года назад +7

    What you're saying makes perfect sense. People move different when they are not in fear of loosing you.

  • @General_Rebel
    @General_Rebel 4 года назад +31

    Sleeping with someone else...First Offense....I’m gone for good. Knowing I’ve been faithful and committed to my partner all these years?? I’ve done it already. Got cheated on after 8 years and when I found out I was like this here👉🏾 🏃🏾‍♂️🏃🏾‍♂️🏃🏾‍♂️🏃🏾‍♂️Goooone!!!. That’s my standard and I’m sticking to it. Don’t care how many years we been married together have kids together, nope I’m goooone....like “PSHOOOO!!!” gone. Standards are standards. Both knew the deal from the get go so...... I’M GOOOOOOOOONE!!!!!! I don’t care what my kids or nobody else say. I’ll never cheat on my partner. And I’m married....20 years now. Yup. I’m leaving if she cheats don’t care what nobody says. And if it happened years ago and I find out about it today, I’m still GOOOOOONE. 👍🏾 WHATEVER IS DONE IN THE DARK WILL EVENTUALLY COME OUT IN THE LIGHT. So don’t mess up. Peee-reee-od!!!