Это видео недоступно.
Сожалеем об этом.
Your Mortgage Makes You Act Right | Chris Rock: Total Blackout
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 12 янв 2021
- There's nothing like a good mortgage, and hell hath no fury like a bad one. Chris Rock: Total Blackout is now streaming with 25 minutes of all-new material, only on Netflix.
Subscribe: bit.ly/2Kncxw6
About Netflix Is A Joke:
The official hub of Netflix stand-up, comedy series, films, and all things funny - curated by the world’s most advanced algorithm and a depressed, yet lovable, cartoon horse. Their unlikely friendship is our story…
About Netflix:
Netflix is the world's leading streaming entertainment service with over 195 million paid memberships in over 190 countries enjoying TV series, documentaries and feature films across a wide variety of genres and languages. Members can watch as much as they want, anytime, anywhere, on any internet-connected screen. Members can play, pause and resume watching, all without commercials or commitments.
Connect with Netflix Is A Joke:
Visit Netflix WEBSITE: nflx.it/29BcWb5
Like Netflix Is A Joke on FACEBOOK: bit.ly/2xD5zfu
Follow Netflix Is A Joke on TWITTER: bit.ly/2N6ENkx
Follow Netflix Is A Joke on INSTAGRAM: bit.ly/2VTQcxu
Will Smith clearly paid off his mortgage🤣
I wondered how many people came here after the academy awards.
LOL
hahahahaha
Keep my mortgage out your f-in mouth!
He couldn't smack back cuz he thought of his mortgage. 🤭
“If you have 739 credit score, you ain’t killing nobody.” ☠️☠️🤣🤣🤣🤣
i don't know about that
That rich dude in Las Vegas would disagree lol
@@johnniewalker877 Right? Somebody will come by to fuck up the stereotype. All the mass murderers were white, then here comes Richard Ramirez.
@@johnniewalker877 don't overthink the humor. It's aimed squarely at the middle class.
@@RonJohn63 tbh man idk what a medium credit score is. I know 100 is terrible but 800 is great. But nobody ever taught me how the score affects my ability to secure different size loans.
Chris talking about people slapping other people is even more hilarious now
Fast forward to March 2022, after he got slapped by Will Smith on Oscar, he is ready to smack Smith back but he's thinking about his mortgage of his huge house !
It was never funny to begin with.
this race is a disgrace
Yeah, anger issues are HILARIOUS.
Good 1
Chris been rich for 20 plus years but can still relate to regular people. Dudes amazing
All top comedians have writers too, it surely helps. He is a master at delivering jokes.
@@PaulFaucon Wrong! not stand up comedians. You're talking about people who host shows. That my friend is not stand up.
I love him. He’s so funny!
Very true
Sounds like he’s mocking pple when you put it that way.
Chris: "How many times you been ready to smack the shit out of somebody at work?"
Will: "I can think of one time..."
ok
Chris Rock is a fucking wizard of comedy. He smacks me in the face with his jokes and I laugh. He's been around for 30 years...idk but he never misses a fucking step.
hear hear
Thanks for the comment, I hope you will never stop watching me... Contact me on my private cell 6612490894.
@@chrisrock1270 lol ...
Dude this just aged incredibly well
"Smacks me in the face." Oooooh lawdy.
"You get a bad mortgage, you watching Delirious on VCR", hilarious 😂😂🤣
How about " get your eyebrow done one at a time."
That's poor women style.
That one got me. lmaooo
🤣🤣yeah the the sug knight mortgages part
@@SeatonRyan I was wearing my headsets while I was watching, when he said the Suge knight part I bust out loud. God I could n't hold it. 🤣🤣🤣
Delirious is GOAT comedy though.
Your house is lookin at you like, “where’s my money bitch?” 😂😂😂😂
You ain't neva lied, Chris!!! 💯 That damn mortgage... and them kids. 🤣
Amen to that...
You mean kids that you CHOSE to have?
@@torachan23 Yep...and the mortgage I chose to have. Did you miss the point? It's comedy.
@@chriscynthiachambers4748 how are you doing?
I feel sorry for your kids. At the same time I realize that 90% of parents are just like you but they don't even have the balls to admit it. But sometimes they have and they admit it right to their kids screwing up their whole lives💀
Mortgage is a French word meaning “death contract”
Im bilingual (English + French) and that never even occured to me 😂
Lol that’s funny
It comes from Latin, with “Mort” meaning death, and “gage” meaning “until”. So, until death LOL
Thanks for answering my first question you know what you did
OMG J'avais jamais réalisé!
Rock and Chapelle just exist on a different level when it comes to stand up easily the two best
A great comedy triple bill would be Rock, Chappelle, and Bill Burr.
And Bill Burr
Exactly
My Goats are Rock and Burr
I saw them both in Phoenix last month. Really enjoyed it
This couldn't have been timed more perfectly. 🤣🙏
I was looking for a comment like this
😂😂😂😂
Fast forward to March 2022, after he got slapped by Will Smith on Oscar, he is ready to smack Smith back but he's thinking about his mortgage of his huge house !
You know what’s better than a “good mortgage”? NO MORTGAGE.
Especially one that is paid off that brings in residual payments that will cover property taxes and pads the portfolio.
100% FACTS
@@rm5282 your reply is super broad and you’re over-simplifying it. What if the cash that was used to pay off the property was invested in T Bills of which the compounded interest would eventually yield a higher Cash on Cash return (especially since T Bills are cash equivalents) as opposed to downgrading your cash into equity and relying on that investment, that has significantly greater risks, such as non payment or lien against property, which will give you weak returns to begin with?
@@thatisabsolutelykooooge2211 treasury bills are a very safe investment with fixed rates of interest. They are sold in in increments of $1000 - $5M. Whiles they're backed by the government they pay lousy returns. A paid off home 3/2 home with two car garage can gross an average of $1500 per month in lease payments. It's not a guarantee but owning property is better than owning government paper. Look at the tbill rates and tell me if you believe it's a real money maker in today's market. I over simplified my statement because it was predicated off the original statement.
A couple of things you did not include in your statement:
1.) How much did the owner pay for the property?
2.) Where is the property located and what's the going rate per sqft for rent in the area?
3.) How many T- Bills would it take to reach the same earning potential of the rental property?
4.) What would be the cost to profit ratio of continuing to pay a mortgage while earning measly rate of return on the T-bill.
You made a very general statement too, so you better put up some boards around your glass house before tossing rocks.
@@rm5282 I think the last year has shown some of the volatility of the housing market again to people. Some places people fled from in high numbers and others they fled to. Housing markets benefited greatly in some areas but also depreciated greatly in many other areas. Housing is always at least somewhat of a gamble and also requires constant proper maintenance and involvement. T-bills are closer to like a 401k option where there are better investments but they are pretty set and forget and unless some serious shit goes down that's going to fuck you anyways it's going to be there. But yes, general statements :P. Finances are nothing if not complex. If making good ROIs was easy everyone would do it :P.
He can make the mundane and the serious so funny. Mortgages and guns.
Actually I think he may have something here. Gun ownership becomes a lot more expensive.
Exactly bro
@@aznsbd some of the crazies out there own enough guns to buy a house in cash. I am a gun owner too so believe me I know some of them.
Thanks for the comment, I hope you will never stop watching me... Contact me on my private cell 6612490894.
"They all live with their mothers" being the imperative statement here.
Honestly Chris should be and would be an effective politician/leader. He sees the reality of our daily lives and humor is his gift.
Lol “you’re lucky I’m trying to refinance”
Thanks for the comment, I hope you will never stop watching me... Contact me on my private cell 6612490894.
That's why you wait to slap their ass AFTER you've signed everything!
Lol
Chris making us look old talking about mortgages. I remember when he was the fresh new kid on the block. 😂😂
"you gotta watch Delirious on VCR"
that was golden 🤣🤣
"Where's my money bitch" was delivered so perfectly my sides hurt from laughing too much😂😂💀
aint that the truth
Turns out, Will Smith didn't have a mortgage.
No...he owns acres and properties 🥴
He is too rich to have a mortgage.
😂😢😮😅😊
😅😅😅😅
True or absolutely true?...Chris Rock definitely is one of those comedians that can do stand ups, tv sitcoms and movies. It's rare that every comedian can check all that list. And excel.
U are right I seen Joe Rogan stand up he is not very good he should never do stand up
He can do Excel too? Damn
Dan Smith Rogan is a better UFC commentator than comedian. Rock on the other hand is a legend
As true as this is, Donald Glover is a worthy successor.
Yeah but can he do Word or PowerPoint? Idk
Rock has the same type of magic as Carlin did, not to compare the two necessarily, but themes that resonate with the actual lives of his audience. I guess they call it observational comedy. He also isn't afraid to poke fun at EVERYONE. Always been a favorite.
You don’t own the house, the house owns you.
Well said! Mortgages are a trap!
I got my loan today. Since I got the loan approved, waiting for all papers to be completed at a snails pace, the rate have gone up 0,5%. I relate to this deeply and furiously.
“Eyebrows done ☑️ one at a time” lol 😂
This is why we need comedians. Chris Rock is on to something with this!
He really fucking is...
#SeanCHristopherHowrd###!!!#SnoopDogg###!!!#Eminem###!!!#popSmokes###!!!#mightymouse###!!!#NEWPORTNEWS###!!!#ChrisRock###!!!
I feel less smart by watching this. But not as less smart as i feel after watching my videos
Yes, cause it’s true! Ask anyone with a balloon rate that hit the roof and they couldn’t get out of it fast enough
He ain’t on to shit
Will Smith should've thought harder about that mortgage.
Chris should be like "where's my money bitch!?"
@@seemoon7652 Chris Gonna hit them pockets for sure!!! Will And The Academy! Ase
Sug knight mortgages ( sneak up on yah ) 🤣🤣🤣
"These people don't know how to use me".."My skills are going to waste"🚮😁
Thanks for the comment, I hope you will never stop watching me... Contact me on my private cell 6612490894.
Two years ago I wanted to quit my job that I was in... But; I had plans on refinancing my home. (That comment hit home)
So true...I almost quit my job two years ago because I was really upset with my boss...but then I remembered my wife loves her house 🏠 so I am still in the same job 🤦🏾♂️
Thanks for the comment, I hope you will never stop watching me... Contact me on my private cell 6612490894...
🤣😂🤣😂
😂😂😂ma man. You just killed me
God bless you sir.
Figure out how to do both; quit the job and keep the house.
My dad is the nicest, easiest going man. A black dude slapped my father at work 40+ years ago. My father thinks he was trying to impress white co-workers. He said he saw a metal pipe within arms reach and thought about hitting him. He didn't. I asked my father what stopped him. He gave me a look like 'duh'. He simply said "I had a wife and five kids to take care of". I thought, now that's a man. We need to remember how hard life can be for black people, especially men. For all the family, home should always be a sanctuary, a haven from the hell that can be waiting outside. But always treat the man of the house with respect, if he is deserving. You may be the only one who does. And let him have the big piece of chicken.
Your father seems like a good man, he raised five kids and he knows how to keep his temper in check even in the face of a very unreasonable situation. I hope he went to HR, reported the incident, and got that assailant fired. "And let him have the big piece of chicken" -- such a classic Chris Rock reference!
Amen ... one of the reasons I work too. I really think my husband has less stress because he knows in the back of his mind that I got his back and if he has to knock a MF out, we will still in the same house and eat because I save the majority of my salary and could take over bills if he lost his jobZzz
@@saritamoorebansa4485 Sounds like you and your husband have a great partnership and worthy goals and I'm sure it's a comfort to him to have a woman that lets him be the man, yet always has his back.
You sound very wise. I always said that if I married, I'd want my husband to provide a home and heat, at minimum. It wouldn't have to be fancy, necessarily, but something the person with the lower salary could handle comfortably. And ideally, we'd use my earnings for saving, investing, wealth building, business ventures, etc. That way, if anything ever happened, we'd be okay.
@@jsl8461 I know the guy wasn't fired, but I believe that God won't let those types of situations go unpunished, unless the person repents. But when I did job training, I would share this story, not that anyone should allow abuse, but like you said to learn how to keep yourself in check and not lose sight if the bigger picture. Had a young girl at church, on her first job, either her manager or a co-worker flat spit in her face. She didn't retaliate. Went through the proper channels. Handled it in a godly and professional way. I was soooo proud of her. She was only like 17. She didn't even have a mortgage or kids of her own yet.
Bless your Daddy for his restraint.
Love how he referenced one of his older bits at the end. 😂
Love Tony Rock, his routine about smoking green with your fat friends is hilarious.
0 tablets,a p
Pookie 😆
Fucking hilarious n spot on
Wait you mean Delirious? That's Eddie Murphy
Yeah, it's called financial slavery.
Or gate you with $300K price tag
Or working for what you need? Should it all be free? Absolutely not.
Definitely agree... although our Americans amendments are our country’s fundamentals and what we all are today
Indentured servitude. Slavery doesn't have a due date.
@Chizzy Meka Ok Ron Swanson
I have a mortgage... truer words have never been spoken...
Thanks for the comment, I hope you will never stop watching me... Contact me on my private cell 6612490894.
"please, please, I'm just tryna fix this basement" omg! That was me but with my roof!😂 I'm literally crying right now!!!
lol....for real! It's my roof and 2 new ac units i'm pining for. Lawd....pa-lease! Got 17 yrs on this house and for the last 3 summers, the AC situation is just that...a situation👀. I play the how long can we go before I absolutely have to turn it on....and I live in TEXAS🤪. It's 84 degrees in this beast right now. I've got this fan on me and we gon call that good! Oooh wee...one day at a time sweet Jesus!
He has a point! It’s called skin in the game. But we should use the same thing for voting. If the gov isn’t taking 30% of your pay then no voting for you!!
Lol...Chris Rock is legit one of the few stand ups that can make me burst out laughing anymore. He gets it.
Thanks for the comment, I hope you will never stop watching me... Contact me on my private cell 6612490894.
Damn. he got millions but he still knows what a mortgage feels like
That’s how you know someone is humble.
You have to remember he's house is probably $20 million 💵 so, he definitely has to watch his back.
One of the greatest stand up comedians of all time.
Agreed!
Thanks for the comment, I hope you will never stop watching me... Contact me on my private cell 6612490894.
Really?
Mortgage is French for : “Death Pledge” mort=death / gage=pledge
This means you have pledged and enslaved your life to a bank... lol
It’s funny that it’s not funny.
If you smart you can easily get rich off a home
Oui, c'est vrai! "Death Contract." 😳
Not quite. The "death" isn't for you, but for the "pledge." In other words, "mortgage" is better translated as "until death of the pledge." It's named like that because until you pay off your loan (i.e. the pledge), your house can be taken by the lender. Once the loan "dies" (when you pay it off), the lender no longer can claim your house. That's why we say you "mortgaged" your house: you're putting it up as collateral until your loan is paid.
@@alexanderkim4889 yours is one interpretation and there are many we can all come up with. But what I’m pointing to is a more direct understanding of the origins of the French word to its most simplest and significance.
@@SolReaver No it's not just oneinterpretation, it's THE interpretation for why and how the word is used. "Death pledge" is the literal translation, but the connotation is wrong because in the original French legal term, it's meant in the way I explained: a pledge that dies when an obligation is met.
1:42 That question was for you, Will 😂
Chris Rock is a legend man 😂
I guess Will Smith must not have a morgage anymore....😂
Or needs one
$800 million in the bank and plenty of song royalties. Probably.
It’s sounds like a joke but this is what adults think.
It sounds like a joke but it's true! LOL
Thanks for the comment, I hope you will never stop watching me... Contact me on my private cell 6612490894.
"Hell hath no fury like a bad mortgage."😂😂
“A layer of KRISPY on my hand!” 😂😂😂
Apparently, Will Smith needs a mortgage.
Netflix, please, for the love of everything good in life, stop having quiet ass videos and then blasting your outro music.
I think they do it deliberately...
quiet*
@@darrenfitzpatrick6490 I.. Am so ashamed in myself 😭
@@darrenfitzpatrick6490 quit*
Effing right!!
I just want to strangle them.
But the moron directors prolly think they are being very artistic.
Autistic is more like it.
🤣🤣Suge Knight Mortgages🤣
About Will Smith's credit score...
mortgage makes you a good person. by the time you finish paying mortgage, your old anyway. its basically a invinsible jail
A great comedian reads your mind and says what you're thinking when you're too afraid to say it. A genius comedian like Rock actually teaches you something you didn't already consider.
Love me some Chris Rock! He's hilarious
Thanks for the comment, I hope you will never stop watching me... Contact me on my private cell 6612490894.
You're Lucky I'm trying to refinance ......LOL...
.
And when you have a mortgage you get some nifty benefits, like it never increasing. Fifteen years in you realize that you're paying less on your mortgage than most people pay in rent. And you get to deduct the mortgage interest. Chris is right; a good mortgage is a blessing.
Your mortgage payment doesn’t go down so I don’t see what 15 years has to do with it.
Most people don’t get to deduct the taxes anymore either.
That being said I have no problem with mortgages even though mine is paid off
@@stevenbeach748 rent goes up, mortgages don't. And the value of the house goes up too.
Yes that’s true.
@@swistedfilms the value doesn't always go up but your payment can and will go up...property taxes, house insurance, home warranties. Not to mention the phantom costs of repairs, new roof , and renovations.
@@MT-yx5cu Sure, but NEVER at the rate of rent. In another five years there will be kids who are flabbergasted by how low my mortgage is. And yes, home repairs are expensive, I don't deny that. But that's a good incentive to learn some DIY.
What's so funny is Chris Rock speaks real life stuff, that the everyday person can relate to. Hilarious 😆
Thanks for the comment, I hope you will never stop watching me... Contact me on my private cell 6612490894...
Thanks for the comment, I hope you will never stop watching me... Contact me on my private cell 6612490894...
He's talking about how will smacked him 🤣😂 he knew the future
"You gonna have your eyebrows done one at time " That punchline 😂
Chris Rock don’t got no damn Mortgage 😂
🤣🤣 right lol 😆
How do yall kno?
@@truffle6082 its chris rock lmao he definitely bought his house for the full price tag
@@dbboykid10
Why would he do that it makes no sense.
@@dbboykid10 I highly doubt it, for tax reasons anyone that is good with their money doesn't pay off their house fully
Chris has the best gun control ideas. Why doesn’t anyone take notice ?
Shug knight mortgage 😂
I love how he dropped those sly Cheap Pete and Pookie references in this bit.
Thanks for the comment, I hope you will never stop watching me... Contact me on my private cell 6612490894.
2:30 I guess Will Smith wasn't trying to refinance
Who knew Chris Rock was THIS funny! I really enjoyed this. Thank you Netflix
Everybody knew, that’s why he’s been famous since the 90s
UMMM EVERYBODY
@@Britt3334 🙄
@@alanai1981 great! 🙄
3:09
Good mortgage: lets you buy sh&t
Bad mortgage: doesnt even let you take sh&t
1:44
Apparently Will Smith does not have a mortgage
By that definition of a bad mortgage, I got one, and won't even have a house when I'm done! Call it debt.
Watching this as I’m going through a refinance lol.. I definitely ain’t killin nobody haha!
LOL, for real. This set was made for me!!! God has shined His light in me.
Hell has no fury like a bad mortgage 😂🤣🤣. He ain't lying. Get ya eyebrows done one at a time. Im 💀
“Ready to smack the shit out of somebody” - boy did those words come back at his face
Ur terrible bro 😂
I guess Will Smith doesn't have a mortgage
Fast forward to March 2022, after he got slapped by Will Smith on Oscar, he is ready to smack Smith back but he's thinking about his mortgage of his huge house !
I know that's right!! Haha 😂
"The mortgage make you act right"!! Yessss that part. LOL😂😂
Shug knight mortgage 🤣🤣☠️
Why is the volume on every one of these clips so much quieter than every other video on youtube? >
Thanks for the comment, I hope you will never stop watching me... Contact me on my private cell 6612490894.
Chris is brilliant and extremely underrated, despite how popular he is. Mort-gage is a death contract, translated literally. They are necessary for most people but a scam in reality. The house ends up costing twice as much by the time it’s paid off.
Paying rent is still worse, esp if you're paying a comparable amount either way. In the city, a mortgage is still a better route than paying rent.
100% true. I don't have a mortgage and I have quit on a dime before.
Imagine if this was a law, I'd have a trailer park home right now. 🤭
Thanks for the comment, I hope you will never stop watching me... Contact me on my private cell 6612490894.
love love his voice
Thanks for the comment, I hope you will never stop watching me... Contact me on my private cell 6612490894.
So simple...having a mortgage as a prerequisite to getting a gun licence. Genius idea 💡
Like Bullet Control
Fast forward to March 2022, after he got slapped by Will Smith on Oscar, he is ready to smack Smith back but he's thinking about his mortgage of his huge house !
Clearly Will Smith doesn't have a mortgage 1:42
Bad mortgage = House broke
Don’t try to keep up with the Jone’s...stay within your budget.
You're only broke if you have a house you cant afford. My mortgage is under 1100 where an apartment half the size of my house costs 1300 to rent
Thank you for being a fan ,you can chart me privately on my email at chrisrock858@gmail.com
Gotta ADMIT.... HE, s not LYING 😀
Thanks for the comment, I hope you will never stop watching me... Contact me on my private cell 6612490894.
It's all fact yet, funny.
Not the "Suge Knight' mortgage...daaaaaamn!
I got a mortgage and still act a fool.
Not a damn fool though
@@kachtev DID YOU JUST ASSUME HIS FOOLISHNESS?!
Thats a good mortgage my guy
Probably cause your mortgage ain’t that fucked up
@@pietrodwomo9090 probably but i make it my main goal to pay that first before anything
1:43 apparently that is what Will Smith was thinking about.
I guess Will Smith doesn't have a mortgage 🤣
That man ain’t lying!! 🤣🤣
These people are laughing because they're probably like me and can relate to good and bad mortgage.
As a homeowner....a bad mortgage can be compared to rent. When your rent so high....you can pay it, but dammit you eating Ramien noodles until the next pay day.
He was dead ON with that good and bad mortgage 😭😭😭😭
Thanks for the comment, I hope you will never stop watching me... Contact me on my private cell 6612490894.
Damn and to think I nearly forgot Chris is on my Mount Rushmore of comedy.
He got me right in the credit score!
He's not wrong about the mortgage making you act right
Chris Rock funny asl and I don’t have a mortgage 😂😂😂
Moral of the story; Don't own a house, don't get a mortgage.
yep get a G**
No key is become financial literate so u can invest better there are plenty of poor people with no houses while rich people have the most houses n property
No, moral is check for guns like mortgage background check
No get a small mortgage.
@@richardramfire3971 or rent and use your money to buy stocks
Forget guns. My mortgage keeps me faithful.
Thanks for the comment, I hope you will never stop watching me... Contact me on my private cell 6612490894.
As someone who is going through the process of buying AND re-financing, this is So True.
Bad Shuge night mortgages lol.