Chris Rock Reveals How Housewives Play Their Husbands | Netflix Is A Joke

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  • Опубликовано: 24 ноя 2019
  • Chris Rock has a lot of respect for housewives because they get others to do work for them while they convince their husbands of one thing.
    Watch Chris Rock: Tamborine, only on Netflix.
    www.netflix.com/title/80167498
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Комментарии • 3,4 тыс.

  • @jshepard152
    @jshepard152 4 года назад +15345

    I used to think I owned a house. Divorce court cleared up that misconception.

    • @MrDinFla1
      @MrDinFla1 4 года назад +199

      💯

    • @alimatutu8999
      @alimatutu8999 4 года назад +649

      Hope it gets better for you bud

    • @jshepard152
      @jshepard152 4 года назад +462

      @@alimatutu8999
      Thank you! It gets better every day. 😁

    • @atlasshrugged2u
      @atlasshrugged2u 4 года назад +73

      Aww, I'm sorry :(

    • @alexfrazier6948
      @alexfrazier6948 4 года назад +382

      Yep. Divorce court will bring one back to reality quick, fast, and in a hurry.

  • @ultrararesabra6159
    @ultrararesabra6159 4 года назад +7551

    It’s funny how people started laughing less and less cause the truth began to settle in.

    • @geraldg350
      @geraldg350 4 года назад +190

      Ain't that the truth, it is always sobering

    • @GHustle4
      @GHustle4 4 года назад +283

      Ultra Rare Sabra because women hate the truth yet ask for it and won’t be accountable for their own nonsense!! They’ll hold you to a standard they don’t hold themselves to

    • @mostpeculiargeneration562
      @mostpeculiargeneration562 4 года назад +156

      Women got quite when said," a another woman will take your man."

    • @arrjee9474
      @arrjee9474 4 года назад +27

      Ultra Rare Sabra
      Or maybe ‘cause it wasn’t funny ...

    • @GHustle4
      @GHustle4 4 года назад +97

      @@arrjee9474 or maybe people do not want to accept the truth....

  • @PM-bv2nx
    @PM-bv2nx 7 месяцев назад +137

    I sent this to my wife. She didn't talk to me for 4 days. Most awesome 4 days of my life

    • @matildamaher1505
      @matildamaher1505 3 месяца назад +3

      That's funny

    • @pedropachecosantos4477
      @pedropachecosantos4477 Месяц назад +5

      Just fucking divorce already.

    • @TheGlass50
      @TheGlass50 Месяц назад +2

      Haha really?

    • @true2disunew2dis91
      @true2disunew2dis91 Месяц назад +1

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @emthegem99
      @emthegem99 Месяц назад +1

      Yikes lmao but this is why women need to keep men on their toes always be and leveled up and beautiful ALWAYS.

  • @sudiptodas0001
    @sudiptodas0001 3 года назад +2076

    Came here to laugh,
    Ended up adding this to my Philosophy playlist.

    • @tomadams3528
      @tomadams3528 3 года назад +28

      He's a philosopher alright.

    • @deking1973
      @deking1973 2 года назад +3

      And got me laughing 🤣🤣🤣

    • @JaeyTarg
      @JaeyTarg 2 года назад +2

      So much truth.

    • @otakuhunter4817
      @otakuhunter4817 2 года назад +4

      add Patrice to that playlist

    • @OlsenOfficial
      @OlsenOfficial 2 года назад +7

      Even at his funniest he is a philosopher. This man is a genius. I think this was the most "trying to be a comedian" stand up though, because he is really savage in his stand ups and this one was pretty light

  • @M.R.B18ck
    @M.R.B18ck 4 года назад +6682

    He’s joking, but he ain’t joking 😆

  • @khanmaida
    @khanmaida 4 года назад +4628

    Chris Rock looks more and more like the Zebra he voiced.

    • @sophansen579
      @sophansen579 4 года назад +47

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @justlynn5693
      @justlynn5693 4 года назад +29

      Damn

    • @DieynabaNduwayo
      @DieynabaNduwayo 4 года назад +16

      Damn yeahhhh

    • @AR-cx5yf
      @AR-cx5yf 4 года назад +6

      f u

    • @dr.j7542
      @dr.j7542 4 года назад +137

      I think they might have definitely made Marty look like him. It happens alot in animation

  • @danw9865
    @danw9865 Год назад +180

    "The only man that owns anything is a single man"
    Absolutely and sadly true.

    • @oriraykai3610
      @oriraykai3610 Год назад

      even that's not true if he makes the mistake of bringing a floozy home.

    • @garyodle5663
      @garyodle5663 Год назад +7

      I'm married and I own the garage and my Man Cave in the basement. Everything else is hers.

    • @CarolinaScorpio
      @CarolinaScorpio 11 месяцев назад +1

      @@garyodle5663sad

    • @LightBeing369
      @LightBeing369 11 месяцев назад +3

      Stay single then you're life will be fulfilled, right😄

  • @jeremiahkivi4256
    @jeremiahkivi4256 3 года назад +117

    Chris Rock, the only man who can joke while not joking. Still funny after decades, a true comedy legend in the making.

    • @carlitosortiz2870
      @carlitosortiz2870 Год назад +1

      he does jokes on everyday shit you don't pay much attention to, he comes at you from all these different angles on this everyday shit you never paid much attention to..lol

    • @Ben-Dover777
      @Ben-Dover777 6 месяцев назад +3

      In the making? He's been doing this for decades

    • @lyianx
      @lyianx 4 месяца назад

      No hes not. Most of the famous comics out there "joke" about real bullshit thats happening in society.

  • @codrutsorian4205
    @codrutsorian4205 4 года назад +4501

    This is not a comedy bit, but it is a horror movie for guys.

    • @nunyadambiz8034
      @nunyadambiz8034 4 года назад +145

      He divorced his wife, he's not joking

    • @thearyaputra
      @thearyaputra 4 года назад +4

      @@nunyadambiz8034 when was that?

    • @reggiebrownjr9105
      @reggiebrownjr9105 4 года назад +13

      @@thearyaputra
      +Nunya damnbiz - "Ahem..." (Silently points at his own name)
      Lol 😂

    • @WENSIVE
      @WENSIVE 4 года назад +5

      And a lesson... Lol

    • @Kirealta
      @Kirealta 4 года назад +52

      Triggered feminist.

  • @tamasthehun6166
    @tamasthehun6166 4 года назад +2766

    This is more social commentary than comedy. Man speaks the truth.

    • @rjs1jd
      @rjs1jd 4 года назад +2

      Yup

    • @yujiro5677
      @yujiro5677 4 года назад +16

      Exactly he's probably experiencing it right now lmfao

    • @BarrySwami10
      @BarrySwami10 4 года назад +11

      @@yujiro5677 he has cheated on his wife. He is a man with no morals

    • @Bigfitz2
      @Bigfitz2 4 года назад +29

      Bharath Swaminathan hows the view up there from that moral high horse you sit on

    • @BarrySwami10
      @BarrySwami10 4 года назад +7

      @@Bigfitz2 you wouldn't understand I guess. So I won't bother explaining. :) have fun cheating on your wife or supporting cheaters bud. I feel sad for you.

  • @miketeeveedub5779
    @miketeeveedub5779 3 года назад +401

    Eddie Murphy: "This is my house!"
    Chris Rock: "My wife took my house!"
    95% of Rock's audience: "Wish I had a house!"

  • @deficator750
    @deficator750 4 года назад +366

    My father told me: “When ur single you work for yourself, when you get married you work for her”

    • @JaeyTarg
      @JaeyTarg 2 года назад +7

      I hope you took your dad's advice.

    • @seanraines5871
      @seanraines5871 2 года назад +4

      I'm always working for some woman or other. My aunt. My ex.

    • @deficator750
      @deficator750 2 года назад +9

      @@JaeyTarg she has me by the balls, not a a good idea because if shes not happy guess what? she can take everything from me i spent my whole life working. This advice was true during the traditional era, not today when divorce is now a readily available option

    • @Incercsaajut
      @Incercsaajut 2 года назад +2

      If you marry a woman that doesnt have a career or a job at least...thats on you, doesnt matter how good the pussy is, she need a job.

    • @okiguess7157
      @okiguess7157 2 года назад +3

      @@Incercsaajut facts, like they The smartest for not having a job but guess what, men are getting smarter

  • @skitzvitz
    @skitzvitz 4 года назад +2385

    I see Chris has started doing documentaries.

    • @MrNewktrane
      @MrNewktrane 4 года назад +25

      Nah, this BK philosopher has been doing documentaries on the mic for over 30 yrs now.

    • @johnostaszweski2189
      @johnostaszweski2189 4 года назад +10

      MRnewkTrane yes and he does a damm fine job ,just saying.

    • @MrNewktrane
      @MrNewktrane 4 года назад +11

      @@johnostaszweski2189 Absolutely! His special genius of taking various true-isms of what some are thinking & putting a humorous spin on it remains beyond approach- 30+ years later. In his legendary body of work stand-up wise, I've always especially enjoyed how his razor sharp social commentary has always cut through the current bs butter like a surgeon.

    • @jshepard152
      @jshepard152 3 года назад

      Underrated comment.

    • @mandyblake9275
      @mandyblake9275 3 года назад

      😆😆😆

  • @unusedname197
    @unusedname197 4 года назад +2923

    My older brother needs to see this. No pics of me or mom and dad in his house. Plenty of pics o her family though.

    • @Calinks
      @Calinks 4 года назад +241

      Sad when only one side of the family gets pics

    • @MrMakemusicmike
      @MrMakemusicmike 4 года назад +312

      Your brother is a chump.

    • @lonniejolly5882
      @lonniejolly5882 4 года назад +173

      Simp.

    • @sweeptheleg.
      @sweeptheleg. 4 года назад +240

      Your brother is whipped. 😂

    • @philyip4432
      @philyip4432 4 года назад +35

      You are so right though ! That happened to me with one of my now ex's.

  • @SaloneGIB
    @SaloneGIB 3 года назад +129

    Chris Rock is like Farmers insurance; he has seen a thing or two

  • @maxithalo7796
    @maxithalo7796 2 года назад +26

    "there are ladies right here with stolen husbands"
    this hits very differently nowdays lmao

  • @andrewolivetreemixing
    @andrewolivetreemixing 4 года назад +2074

    Haha his bit about a woman taking someone's husband, while no man takes a wife is hilariously true

    • @WENSIVE
      @WENSIVE 4 года назад +171

      And that's why women think they're smarter at cheating.

    • @mutoneon
      @mutoneon 4 года назад +55

      @Strigorvious Dregorous We're all sorry you hate your mom, too, son.

    • @doubleaa7206
      @doubleaa7206 4 года назад +29

      @@mutoneon you must date your mom then. Not the same thing.

    • @chriskochinsky1102
      @chriskochinsky1102 4 года назад +152

      @0ddMonk3y tell us. Do you want a woman for a wife who cheated on her previous husband?

    • @doubleaa7206
      @doubleaa7206 4 года назад +1

      @Abdur Rahman lol

  • @therealhiesenberg2731
    @therealhiesenberg2731 4 года назад +1841

    yeah everyone was laughing until they realized everything he is saying is true.

    • @Revenant-jv7dm
      @Revenant-jv7dm 4 года назад +7

      TheRealHiesenberg Exactly!!!!!

    • @artkid9279
      @artkid9279 3 года назад +23

      thats some scary shit lol , im glad im single

    • @Fatima-rz9vt
      @Fatima-rz9vt 3 года назад +2

      @An$Hu Sissys want to be single. Real men follow God and marry a teammate.

    • @Incercsaajut
      @Incercsaajut 2 года назад +1

      Theres a choice in life - single that only works when you rich. In a couple that only works when you poor. Both have ups and downs.

  • @shazam6926
    @shazam6926 3 года назад +46

    This is not just comedy, this is a realization we need.

  • @CarlosGreenos
    @CarlosGreenos Год назад +54

    Chris is always brutal with the truth. It makes us feel like it’s not just us. That’s great about observational comedy.

  • @moses1142
    @moses1142 4 года назад +1584

    Laughing but deep down inside I’m crying 😂

    • @iamfiona5063
      @iamfiona5063 4 года назад +4

      Moses 😂😂😂

    • @romans8024
      @romans8024 4 года назад +6

      hang on, bro! :)

    • @CornellG
      @CornellG 4 года назад +4

      Moses 😂😂

    • @youngone9074
      @youngone9074 4 года назад +3

      Cause your white?

    • @moses1142
      @moses1142 4 года назад +17

      Young One not sure what race has to do with this subject......🤔

  • @browngone1782
    @browngone1782 4 года назад +2382

    Women get married. Men don't get married...we surrender. -Chris Rock.

    • @funkpill
      @funkpill 3 года назад +3

      😄😄😄

    • @Bee-dp3st
      @Bee-dp3st 3 года назад +3

      🙄

    • @nedzeo6556
      @nedzeo6556 3 года назад +42

      That's why it's their wedding not yours

    • @rafaelsantosx
      @rafaelsantosx 3 года назад +138

      @@nedzeo6556 That's why the woman wears white and man wears black, it's his funeral.

    • @paperchasindude6578
      @paperchasindude6578 3 года назад +6

      @@rafaelsantosx ☠☠

  • @Fidozo15
    @Fidozo15 2 года назад +26

    I came here to laugh...
    And I left wanting to be single forever 😂😂😂

  • @daniescott3000
    @daniescott3000 3 года назад +96

    He ain't lying, when I was with my ex fiance, she had pictures of her mother and even her dead husband!! I had NO pictures of my mom.

    • @CJ-eu2uq
      @CJ-eu2uq 3 года назад +6

      Ouch !

    • @alterego4832
      @alterego4832 3 года назад +24

      Not even your dead husband's?😭 Damn

    • @roberthermann97
      @roberthermann97 3 года назад +28

      Why would you tolerate pictures of an ex-husband, in your house? Or maybe that's why she's an ex.

    • @kittykitkat4968
      @kittykitkat4968 2 года назад

      That's hilarious

    • @Kal-El207
      @Kal-El207 2 года назад

      You have a dead husband?

  • @sonnyn.8833
    @sonnyn.8833 4 года назад +1127

    She be like: “ what’s mine is mine, what’s yours is mine.”

    • @DaggerSecurity
      @DaggerSecurity 4 года назад +32

      Sonny N. “...And don’t even blink cuz imma rob yo ass blind“. True words indeed

    • @ComedyGuy64
      @ComedyGuy64 4 года назад +20

      More like “what’s mine is mine, what’s yours is ours”

    • @agent_47_47
      @agent_47_47 4 года назад +7

      ComedyGuy64 until there is no us then it’s her even if she never hit a golf ball she gets the golf course tiger woods XD

    • @newt1834
      @newt1834 4 года назад +1

      Sonny N. I’m generous, what’s yours is ours.

    • @Joe-pb3bm
      @Joe-pb3bm 4 года назад

      The theme doing to:
      "In living color."

  • @sicfith6006
    @sicfith6006 4 года назад +1628

    Chris Rock has the Jack Nicholson joker smile.

    • @jimlunn
      @jimlunn 4 года назад +23

      He def had something done to his face

    • @brain7559
      @brain7559 4 года назад +8

      @@jimlunn Yeah,Y Would You do That to yourself,

    • @JR-ee4xf
      @JR-ee4xf 4 года назад +11

      Fuck I was thinking the same

    • @atlasshrugged2u
      @atlasshrugged2u 4 года назад +2

      Yeah he does doesn't he?

    • @AllHandlesRTaken
      @AllHandlesRTaken 4 года назад +1

      Sic fith Hmmm, casting for Joker2?

  • @AlexB-xp4jy
    @AlexB-xp4jy 3 года назад +219

    Chris has what the greatest comedians have. His material makes you think. And there's a lot of truth to it. And his jokes are actual jokes, not just stories like a lot of comedians today. Not many comedians today sit down and write jokes, jokes with punchlines and style and that make you think. Lots of lazy comedians out there who ride on their charisma.

    • @vegas7023
      @vegas7023 2 года назад +2

      Wow your on point with that!

    • @wheelerdealer2105
      @wheelerdealer2105 Год назад

      Chris is a genius.
      George Carlin was another that made you think..

  • @Mariam-tp7cu
    @Mariam-tp7cu 3 года назад +16

    "I Believe this is yours" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @Kingepticon
    @Kingepticon 4 года назад +439

    You: "What do you want baby?"
    Her: "Everything."

    • @solusaldrain
      @solusaldrain 3 года назад +1

      You can find everything outside my house.

    • @nattymo7835
      @nattymo7835 3 года назад +1

      Her: "More."

    • @j.m.8558
      @j.m.8558 2 года назад +1

      Him: That’s impossible. How could I give you everything?
      Her: Say “I do.”

  • @pcl5636
    @pcl5636 4 года назад +576

    The test is hilarious and so damn accurate. And her response about not liking the frame that is totally something a woman would say

    • @pitbullsami1741
      @pitbullsami1741 4 года назад +62

      Benjamin Blaine “you dont like the frame? Go buy one you like and then well use that.” “Why are you always being like this” argument begins.

    • @criticaloptimist7961
      @criticaloptimist7961 4 года назад +21

      @@pitbullsami1741 lol exactly! Pure reason will trigger them.

    • @thelegacyofgaming2928
      @thelegacyofgaming2928 4 года назад +33

      @@pitbullsami1741 Women are not logical. Thus a logical response will anger them.

    • @jiaaggarwal5873
      @jiaaggarwal5873 3 года назад +14

      “Woman are not logical”?
      I hope that’s a joke or else that’s very sexist.

    • @jmlkhan5153
      @jmlkhan5153 2 года назад +27

      Jia Agggarwal you proved it

  • @redreuben5260
    @redreuben5260 3 года назад +190

    Old Saying;
    “Women are
    Mean and
    Men are stupid”
    Chris just explained it to you.

  • @theshonuff8956
    @theshonuff8956 6 месяцев назад +3

    "I believe this is yours" LMFAO😅

  • @abduraxmaan450
    @abduraxmaan450 4 года назад +419

    one time i removed a vase, i saw that shit comeback next morning.

  • @jblack4644
    @jblack4644 4 года назад +573

    🤔This should be a Ted Talk.

    • @solusaldrain
      @solusaldrain 3 года назад +12

      You mean it wasnt?!

    • @joelameyou189
      @joelameyou189 3 года назад +4

      Absolutely

    • @zzizahacallar
      @zzizahacallar 3 года назад +2

      @@solusaldrain I know right

    • @HowTwo007
      @HowTwo007 2 года назад +2

      He is just sharing red pill truths. Its not secret information. There is loads more information that he is mentioning here. Its based on evolutionary psychology and peer reviewed research in intersexual dynamics

    • @JaeyTarg
      @JaeyTarg 2 года назад +3

      Nope, this is way above those TED talks 😆😆😆

  • @BodyByBenSLC
    @BodyByBenSLC 3 года назад +261

    It's true. I was a personal trainer for years. 11am gym full of house wives and would openly share tips on how they hind money from there husbands. One client told me she stopped taking birth control and didn't tell her husband. She decided the both of them would have more kids.

    • @EstablishedHeritage
      @EstablishedHeritage 3 года назад +52

      All of them are for the streets. Smh

    • @Regal23_
      @Regal23_ 2 года назад +36

      I met a woman on Tinder who told me she divorced her husband because he didn't accept their new born daughter. She told me initially, her husband didn't want kids. She told me she told her husband she wanted a kid and her husband agreed and she subsequently stopped taking birth control but after the kid came, her husband wasn't feeling the situation and she filed for divorce. She quickly followed it up with talks of the pills being dangerous and affecting her skin and how quitting the pills caused her to flourish physically. With your comment and some other behaviors this lady displayed through our acquaintance, I'm having reasons to believe that she didn't tell me the real truth about her divorce. I think she emphasized on the effects of the pills on her to stop me from asking detecting questions and believe her based on concerns for her health

    • @Toven_WaveWatcherFi
      @Toven_WaveWatcherFi 2 года назад +20

      @@Regal23_ They all talk mad sh*t about the guys they left (or were left by), even if they were good or even amazing people

    • @Incercsaajut
      @Incercsaajut 2 года назад +10

      @@Toven_WaveWatcherFiI cant argue with that. The ex was always messed up, until you meet the ex and realise that he's a better man than you (in my case at least 😂😂)

    • @bctown9866
      @bctown9866 2 года назад +11

      @@Toven_WaveWatcherFi don't men talk shit about their exes? I didn't know talking shit about exes was a gender specific thing.

  • @glicmathan1771
    @glicmathan1771 Год назад +9

    Chris is still one of my all time favorites. Famous as he is, I think he’s massively underrated.

  • @sew04ss
    @sew04ss 4 года назад +541

    Chris got the men thinking and the women like shut up Chris

    • @rikk319
      @rikk319 3 года назад +31

      Just like he says when he talks about religion and black people: "If you're black and a Christian, you have a really short memory."

    • @kaizen_oils9805
      @kaizen_oils9805 3 года назад +3

      True

    • @aronnemcsik
      @aronnemcsik 3 года назад +6

      Any man married more than 10 years knows that.

    • @vitorfernandes651
      @vitorfernandes651 2 года назад +5

      Wrong. He got the suckers thinking. Because some of us knew this all along and just had a good laugh.

    • @deking1973
      @deking1973 2 года назад +1

      🤣🤣🤣he has been there and knows

  • @Camperlife4ever
    @Camperlife4ever 4 года назад +329

    The man in the front row at :22 shaking his head. He knows.

    • @timbaker1843
      @timbaker1843 4 года назад +8

      He was like you d*** right brotha

    • @tylee5291
      @tylee5291 4 года назад +6

      We ALL know.

    • @tylee5291
      @tylee5291 4 года назад +2

      I was lucky. She moved into MY house. Once we got married I asked if she wanted to stay or get another house. THANKFULLY she said she wanted to stay.

    • @jordanthegreat6666
      @jordanthegreat6666 4 года назад

      Ty Lee well wish you the best most divorce are 75/25

    • @tylee5291
      @tylee5291 4 года назад +5

      @@jordanthegreat6666 I kept my house and the car I bought her. I gave her the furniture I purchased AFTER we were married which was dining room furniture, a chair, coffee table and rugs. She wanted MY bed and flat screen TV. Said no to bed and tv cause she never in her own ever watched anything in HD. When all said and done, it
      Was an easy divorce. I was very lucky. AND she worked for a lawyer firm. Cheap and quick as well.

  • @jamesdavis9747
    @jamesdavis9747 3 года назад +36

    He is speaking the truth. I've never wanted to keep or just wanted any man's girl or wife. I see too much drama in her dudes face lol

    • @Incercsaajut
      @Incercsaajut 2 года назад +3

      Yeap, if the husband often talks casually about suicide, stay away from that woman, no matter how good you think the pussy might be. 😂

    • @iceomistar4302
      @iceomistar4302 2 года назад

      Yep fuck that

    • @rzwitdauncut
      @rzwitdauncut 2 года назад +4

      yup the bad boy gets what he wants. only suckers try to please these demons. i model this in my real life. she always takes advantage of dudes who care. thats how evil they are

    • @sbc4434
      @sbc4434 2 года назад +2

      RZ UNCUT_Bravo 👏 Absolute 💯 percent FACTS. Your dropping serious Red Pills.

  • @preoksaha4504
    @preoksaha4504 Год назад +18

    It’s scary how on point rock is 😂

  • @swisstrader
    @swisstrader 4 года назад +364

    My guy is speaking from personal experiences surrounding his divorce. Chris Iived in the same neighborhood and he looked very down and depressed whenever we saw him in those days. Hoping he’s in a better place these days.

    • @dillonmunro7506
      @dillonmunro7506 3 года назад +21

      How much money u make man! Sheesh Ahah

    • @243wayne1
      @243wayne1 2 года назад

      +Paulie Walnuts- He's not. He just got slapped in public at the Oscars!

    • @swisstrader
      @swisstrader 2 года назад +3

      @@243wayne1 thanks for the newsflash Captain Obvious!!

    • @243wayne1
      @243wayne1 2 года назад +1

      @@swisstrader Anytime Tuna Head. Anytime...

    • @PH-ih1pn
      @PH-ih1pn Год назад

      Patronising

  • @PCSPITTER4NY
    @PCSPITTER4NY 4 года назад +748

    The only man who owns his possessions is a single man.

    • @jshepard152
      @jshepard152 3 года назад +9

      Keep the faith!

    • @jamesvanbergeyk2353
      @jamesvanbergeyk2353 3 года назад +17

      I have now realized maybe I don’t want to be married

    • @mikitz
      @mikitz 3 года назад +18

      Any guy who pops the question has *not* thought of it through. The wise learn from others' mistakes.
      Also, even if you're not married and live on rent, guess whose shit is all over the place? If you're not sure, go to the bathroom and you'll find out.

    • @jshepard152
      @jshepard152 3 года назад +2

      @@mikitz
      Run like hell.

    • @poitiers2853
      @poitiers2853 3 года назад +11

      The bank probably owns most of the big stuff. At any rate...better a bank owning it than an ex.

  • @JediNiyte
    @JediNiyte Год назад +6

    They bought tickets to a comedy show.
    They got a horror show instead. 😆

  • @sarahperkins2
    @sarahperkins2 3 года назад +49

    ..... wow, this made me remember all those times as a kid were my mom had us go to the door to “Welcome your dad home” whenever he came home from work. Then she would hug him, feed him, and then it was business as usual for the rest of the night

    • @Kal-El207
      @Kal-El207 2 года назад +1

      What was the business as usual?

    • @Toven_WaveWatcherFi
      @Toven_WaveWatcherFi 2 года назад +2

      @@Kal-El207 Poisoning his dad's drink

    • @Mr_Mistah
      @Mr_Mistah Год назад +1

      @@Kal-El207 The mother disrespecting him.
      I've never seen a modern housewife NOT disrespect her husband

  • @mightymoshinskoolkid
    @mightymoshinskoolkid 4 года назад +347

    Chris had that crowd in their feelings towards the end. That's why they weren't laughing properly

    • @wms1650
      @wms1650 4 года назад +35

      Right Chris was hitting too close to home.
      Just think what was going through the "couples" minds during this.

    • @thelegacyofgaming2928
      @thelegacyofgaming2928 4 года назад +7

      @Appletree This bit must've hit you too close to home, lol. Chris Rock successful again.

    • @a2ndopynyn
      @a2ndopynyn 4 года назад +9

      @Appletree - That's just because we allow the corrupt family court system to roll on without reforming it for modern times.

    • @colewildenhus7207
      @colewildenhus7207 3 года назад +3

      Appletree this right here fellas. Be careful out there

  • @bones0184
    @bones0184 4 года назад +329

    Chris hits the nail on the head with this one , these aren’t jokes it’s the dam truth.

    • @demonvictim
      @demonvictim 4 года назад +12

      It's more depressing the funnier it is

    • @leathernluv
      @leathernluv 4 года назад +2

      Carlin did this too.

  • @MusicLover-my6fo
    @MusicLover-my6fo 2 года назад +3

    "I believe this is yours." - August Alsina to Will Smith

  • @formicapple2
    @formicapple2 11 месяцев назад +9

    I’ve just discovered Cris Rock. I’m British. Comedy doesn’t easily work in different countries like it dos in the host country. Chris Rock is the exception for me. I found his observational comedy absolutely hilarious. Very similar to our Billy Connolly.

  • @greatwazzoo
    @greatwazzoo 4 года назад +922

    A lot of women in the audience with forced smiles,...

    • @sebfox2194
      @sebfox2194 4 года назад +40

      That's just how women smile.

    • @mr.e5791
      @mr.e5791 4 года назад +92

      They hate when we put out their secrets

    • @masterstepz9800
      @masterstepz9800 4 года назад +50

      @@sebfox2194 exactly, they are never not acting. They are more easily able to manipulate their feelings, that's how they get everything in the divorce.

    • @rocknour
      @rocknour 4 года назад +9

      Some of em can't even force it

    • @msarielwilliams123
      @msarielwilliams123 4 года назад +15

      Easy Lee I’m a rare “breed”. I divorced my husband a few years ago, and made it look easy. I requested NO financial support in any manner. I even let him keep the house (including furniture), his cars, and dogs. Kids are split 50/50. No arguments regarding the children. Schedules are honored and followed to the tee. Outside of me, I never personally met a woman who walked away like this. I’ve heard of one or two stories similar though. Anyhoo, I’m sure you want to believe you won’t get railroaded by your wife, but divorce can bring the inner monster out of people. My ex was “lucky”. I doubt you’re one of the lucky ones. 🤷🏻‍♀️

  • @ichalid22
    @ichalid22 4 года назад +439

    Chris is not a comedian. He is a legend

    • @pistolpete8231
      @pistolpete8231 4 года назад +3

      Funnier than Dave Chappelle

    • @poitiers2853
      @poitiers2853 3 года назад +1

      Professional writers write the lines for him, but he's a pro at getting those lines across to his audience.

    • @user-xb6br9uk2o
      @user-xb6br9uk2o 2 года назад +1

      @@pistolpete8231 cap

    • @pistolpete8231
      @pistolpete8231 2 года назад +2

      @@poitiers2853 Same with richard pryor, so I don't understand why these guys are praised so much. How can you be a great comedian and you don't even write?

    • @ShadaeMastersAstrology
      @ShadaeMastersAstrology 2 года назад

      @@pistolpete8231 Same thing with rappers too then huh?

  • @iGarageBand
    @iGarageBand 3 года назад +9

    "I believe this is yours" I lost it right there.

  • @chrissnonstop6386
    @chrissnonstop6386 3 года назад +3

    “I believe this is yours” 🤣🤣‼️😭

  • @danielc3453
    @danielc3453 4 года назад +295

    From a man who went through a messy divorce but he is right.

    • @ACT1O1
      @ACT1O1 4 года назад +3

      Dan Collins I’m sure Chris rock went through the same thing

    • @JULYXXIV
      @JULYXXIV 4 года назад +6

      Experience is often the best teacher.

    • @VivKittie32
      @VivKittie32 4 года назад +14

      Dan Collins
      Depends on who you marry.. we ain’t all like that.

    • @zackmorris4773
      @zackmorris4773 4 года назад +5

      @@VivKittie32 bullshit

    • @Djsatile
      @Djsatile 4 года назад

      Psalm 139 lol I’m black and native there no color idiot we all red smh dummy

  • @pwilki8631
    @pwilki8631 4 года назад +2334

    Don't bother getting married, just find a woman who you hate, and buy her a house.

    • @themightyfp
      @themightyfp 4 года назад +79

      That’s funny 😄 I will be using this 😂

    • @dE3Lov
      @dE3Lov 4 года назад +20

      Gold.

    • @TraderHelp101
      @TraderHelp101 4 года назад +70

      Yeah it's actually cheaper... because it's a one time payment

    • @LonghornsLegend
      @LonghornsLegend 4 года назад +5

      😂😂😂😭

    • @celestialscripture
      @celestialscripture 4 года назад +28

      You should give Rod Stewart his proper credit for that quote.

  • @stringtheoryguitars4952
    @stringtheoryguitars4952 4 года назад +10

    Chris Rock: does a bit on marriage
    Audience: squirms uncomfortably

  • @charlita25
    @charlita25 2 года назад +2

    “I miss you daddy , good good “ lol 😂

  • @criticaloptimist7961
    @criticaloptimist7961 4 года назад +467

    Chris Rock just disrespected feminists, exposed housewives, and humiliated all married men at once! The only winner here is single men. Brilliant.

    • @somethingyouforgot6443
      @somethingyouforgot6443 4 года назад +21

      I'm a single women n I work hard for what I have; no regrets☝️🤣 everything's mine. N I knw what I want ina man as well ...too bad they dont exist 🤷‍♀️😈

    • @criticaloptimist7961
      @criticaloptimist7961 4 года назад +52

      @@somethingyouforgot6443 if you don't believe they exist, you will never find one. Enjoy staying single the rest of your life.

    • @beamarie8041
      @beamarie8041 4 года назад +7

      You is sad man 😂😂

    • @somethingyouforgot6443
      @somethingyouforgot6443 4 года назад +6

      @Jeremiah Boyd I'm picky af...pretty sure they r just rare calm down😂🙋‍♀️🙄🤣😝

    • @somethingyouforgot6443
      @somethingyouforgot6443 4 года назад +8

      @Jeremiah Boyd 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣wtf. Where did u read that rule? I musta skipped it😝

  • @dowardwashington9958
    @dowardwashington9958 4 года назад +83

    That's right, smart people find other people to work for them.

  • @ejwillison2001
    @ejwillison2001 Год назад +4

    I didn’t realize til he said it, but that was the EXACT dynamic in my house growing up!! We had allll day to do what we wanted basically, and as soon as dad got home we ‘behaved’ so he wouldn’t get mad🤣

  • @Amatsaru29
    @Amatsaru29 4 года назад +39

    As a son of a housewife, this is too true xD

  • @lukecage275
    @lukecage275 4 года назад +66

    Immediately thought of my living room where the only two pictures are of wife's mum and dad😂

    • @montay87ify
      @montay87ify 4 года назад +3

      She won't let u hang any pictures up in the living room say it ain't so

    • @handenhollander9902
      @handenhollander9902 4 года назад +5

      Not everybody is like this, we dont have any pictures of family hanging on the wall, but my mother in law lives with us, for almost 4 years now. No problem. Maybe american ladies are culturally different from women in other parts of the world.

  • @focused313
    @focused313 4 года назад +57

    "I believe this is yours" 😂😂😂😂

  • @drewbranch7700
    @drewbranch7700 3 года назад +10

    He so right about the house and don’t forget the kids too even when you are heavily involved 🤣🤣🤣

  • @poetic5mics
    @poetic5mics Год назад +2

    I don't have any picture's of me
    in my house but it is full of picture's
    of her and everyone in her family.
    Facts

  • @bryanlettow4389
    @bryanlettow4389 4 года назад +226

    When he said "you lost your house loooong ago" we all knew what he meant. As soon as you're married it gets ran by the female and if you don't like it you're gonna have to move out.

    • @cherryrose5514
      @cherryrose5514 4 года назад +12

      @ShaoPei How u manage that feat?!

    • @cherryrose5514
      @cherryrose5514 4 года назад +21

      @ShaoPei Yeah.first rule give NOTHING to them material wise.give just your time.if they get bored they were in just for the money. Otherwise they r in for the long haul

    • @florzinnha
      @florzinnha 4 года назад +1

      @@cherryrose5514 what males have to give to women that is not material? All of you are inherently worthless. Wake up, sweetheart.

    • @cherryrose5514
      @cherryrose5514 4 года назад +5

      @@florzinnha wow.misogynist much? Give your time. It's that simple.be there for her.be her rock. N she'll be so much more to you. Try n buy a woman n you get a hooker on your hands. 🤷🏻‍♀️ it's that simple really my sweet pie

    • @cherryrose5514
      @cherryrose5514 4 года назад +7

      @@legitcrazydope I'm a woman n I agree with you.i mean I can cook n clean after myself but I saw the kind you are describing. As if cooking n cleaning has anything to do with gender NOWADAYS.

  • @nogood2023
    @nogood2023 4 года назад +526

    Divorced 5 years ago after catching her cheating. She is still pissed cause i did not give in to the following :
    Did not buy her a house as she kept pressuring me.
    Did not pay for her lipo and boob job as she kept pressuring me.
    Never got a joint bank account as she kept pressuring me.
    Did not have more kids other than just one after she kept pressuring me.
    Probably more BS i cant think of right this second
    It was a tough 11 years but i think i did good.

    • @americusdeville865
      @americusdeville865 4 года назад +96

      Moe Ram . . . you a WINNER.
      You dodged a full arsenal of bullets. Good job.

    • @americusdeville865
      @americusdeville865 4 года назад +18

      There is a Scripture is the Bible that specifically states that a "foolish woman" will tear down her own house. Piggybacking off your point, no joint accounts and don't be a ""Come Up" for a broke bitch.

    • @Sitharos
      @Sitharos 4 года назад +20

      Sounds like that woman just saw you as an ATM and not a husband.

    • @GoodOne917
      @GoodOne917 4 года назад

      Lonely much

    • @user-vb8mj9iv8z
      @user-vb8mj9iv8z 4 года назад +2

      I v been through some similar stuffs, bro. I feel for you.

  • @kingmufasaa
    @kingmufasaa Год назад +7

    People at the end began to sob instead of laugh as they all knew it was true 😂

  • @MolloyPolloy
    @MolloyPolloy 3 года назад +9

    Well I pay the rent, house insurance, broadband, food, electricity and heating, I still feel like a sponging unwelcomed guest. Fuck this shit. Cheers Chris 👊

  • @piedpiper1185
    @piedpiper1185 4 года назад +12

    'Suckers work. Smart people find other people to work for them' 😂🤣

  • @katiie7
    @katiie7 4 года назад +387

    They should divide men and women in comedy clubs to see who’s actually laughing at what

    • @ecoveydesigns1060
      @ecoveydesigns1060 4 года назад +6

      😳 amazing

    • @PrescillaKgade
      @PrescillaKgade 4 года назад +10

      😂😂😂👏👏👏 This is the most woke thing i have ever read in 2020

    • @afrodude4782
      @afrodude4782 4 года назад +13

      That would be interesting to watch!

    • @indistinguishable7259
      @indistinguishable7259 3 года назад +4

      Better do it before it gets stolen

    • @Wenutz
      @Wenutz 3 года назад +13

      Saudi Arabia: welcome on-board!

  • @deanseeley2124
    @deanseeley2124 3 года назад +4

    "I believe this is yours" haha, I lost it :)

  • @Aziz.A
    @Aziz.A 3 года назад +9

    My mom is a HouseWife, and I can confirm that what he said is 100% true, lol.

  • @mindfulldonjuan5495
    @mindfulldonjuan5495 4 года назад +237

    "I believe this is yours!!!!!"

    • @gramcliches1980
      @gramcliches1980 4 года назад +7

      Best line of the whole show... like he had the receipt on your wife for the return and peace of mind money back guarantee!

    • @connormcgannon4918
      @connormcgannon4918 4 года назад +1

      I read this at the exact same time he said it

    • @Turtleback8024
      @Turtleback8024 4 года назад

      😂

    • @sunofman2008
      @sunofman2008 4 года назад

      Mindfull Don Juan priceless line

    • @ibukayov
      @ibukayov 4 года назад

      Mindfull Don Juan 🤣

  • @Dabeefgod
    @Dabeefgod 4 года назад +100

    Now that I think about it I’ve never seen a picture of my grandma on any wall of my house 😰

  • @Meltman1000
    @Meltman1000 2 года назад +1

    4:07 "ask Will If you don't believe me"

  • @chewface
    @chewface 11 месяцев назад +5

    I always like to come back to this stand-up special. Reminds me why I'm not married :)

  • @ldaws-3912
    @ldaws-3912 4 года назад +97

    When it started I was ready for comedy, when it ended I just realized my life has changed.. bruh

  • @xpress9349
    @xpress9349 4 года назад +485

    I believe Chris Rock took that Red Pill.

    • @huntermoss9403
      @huntermoss9403 4 года назад +11

      Agreed

    • @sejuanisupportonly7385
      @sejuanisupportonly7385 4 года назад +80

      @Xpress Chris Rock was talking about stuff like that before all the "red pill" BS analogies where even a thing ...

    • @anneb889
      @anneb889 4 года назад +21

      Well he is divorced now. But I think he is the one that was cheating.

    • @boneysouthwest
      @boneysouthwest 4 года назад +26

      Chris and Patrice O Neal took the red pill in the early 2000s.

    • @yoyoyodaboy
      @yoyoyodaboy 4 года назад +9

      Sejuani SupportONLY thank you being the one to provide a reality check! The “Red Pill” supporters are overwhelming on RUclips. And insufferable...

  • @ShaferHart
    @ShaferHart 2 года назад +51

    Chris Rock's stand up has always imparted the wisdom that Will Smith sorely lacked.

  • @davisdesigns1153
    @davisdesigns1153 3 года назад +93

    She was never yours, it was only your turn.

    • @leroyericson1327
      @leroyericson1327 3 года назад +8

      That's deep man.

    • @jennifertempleton8185
      @jennifertempleton8185 3 года назад

      i dont get it. shes on to the next?

    • @ProfessorCDO
      @ProfessorCDO 3 года назад +6

      That quote is so corny because women can flip that and be just as true for guys. I guess the overall message from that quote is that we’re just not monogamous?

    • @jennifertempleton8185
      @jennifertempleton8185 3 года назад +1

      ​@@ProfessorCDO I think that's right. Think about our biology as primates. Men are programmed to spread the genetic line as much as possible. Women are programmed to do the same, through childbirth. Why are both genders lying to themselves? Everyone has thoughts of infidelity.

    • @jenster29
      @jenster29 3 года назад +4

      @@jennifertempleton8185 monogamy is the most common form of relationship, even in polygamous societies. Its human nature.

  • @dbsven7017
    @dbsven7017 4 года назад +20

    Chris rock, Dave Chappelle, bill burr, ............. they all tell it like it really is and make it hilarious. Truly amazing comics

  • @signs3176
    @signs3176 4 года назад +60

    I showed my friend, who is going through a divorce right now, this video...
    He muted with me.

  • @diana.diamond
    @diana.diamond Год назад +3

    chris rock is a wise wise man

  • @zolanihogana
    @zolanihogana 3 года назад +4

    1:15 🤣🤣

  • @_Woo
    @_Woo 4 года назад +84

    Man you don't have to be married or even living together! Just be dating and within weeks stuff will be getting replaced or disappearing altogether.

  • @elrodfromthe3539
    @elrodfromthe3539 4 года назад +83

    Chris Rock: No suckas work
    Crowd: But I work...?🤔

    • @tiara891ify
      @tiara891ify 4 года назад +3

      We suckas lmao

    • @xybrpnk8904
      @xybrpnk8904 4 года назад +2

      I felt that tension..

    • @dumisatonyjohnson8145
      @dumisatonyjohnson8145 4 года назад +8

      We're all suckers
      (Most of us who work nine to five)

    • @wisconsinlonnie4143
      @wisconsinlonnie4143 4 года назад +1

      Killed them squares!! I’m Wisconsin Lonnie and I approve this message.™️

  • @jo2ed
    @jo2ed 3 года назад +1

    "I believe this is yours." That last part... that last part is the truth! 😆😆

  • @zorak936
    @zorak936 2 года назад +14

    Maybe this is the joke that really got will smith mad

    • @jdfodio
      @jdfodio 2 года назад

      Yep. Because this is the joke that Chris was really telling through that "Loved you in G.I. Jane!"
      Translation: now that you're bald, you've decreased in value even more than before!

  • @dumisatonyjohnson8145
    @dumisatonyjohnson8145 4 года назад +23

    4:11
    I believe this is yours
    She had me feeling bad about myself 😞

  • @sorelsuareztube
    @sorelsuareztube 4 года назад +161

    Oh my God.
    This guy just opened my eyes.
    I have been trying to hang a picture of my mother for 5 years, but there is always something wrong with it.
    Hahaha.
    We r so stupid!

  • @Tee1312Jay
    @Tee1312Jay Год назад +2

    My brother is a successful business owner, he lives with his two kids, a son and a daughter from previous relationships when he was younger. He decided not to get married or have a live in girl friend and he is very happy with his situation.

  • @bhillboy37
    @bhillboy37 3 года назад +8

    People talked bad about this special when it came out. I thought it was okay but then I re-watched it a year later and found that it was a lot funnier than I first thought. This was more like an 70's/ 80's special in which the jokes were funny but had so much social and practical relevance that it stopped the crowd from laughing heartily. I compare it to Richard or Lenny or Carlin where they'd say something that you initially think is just funny but the longer you think about it, it becomes more profound than anything.

    • @ProfessorCDO
      @ProfessorCDO 2 года назад

      Very interesting I too enjoy this a lot more than the first time. In fact each year this special ages like wine for me

  • @Vinnafetish
    @Vinnafetish 4 года назад +198

    As a housewife I hear no lies in his comedy 😂😂😂

  • @mr.e5791
    @mr.e5791 4 года назад +132

    Marriage is paying someone to be your boss. I already have a manager at work, in my personal life, I'm the fucking boss. No marriage for me.

    • @notthe1_orthe2
      @notthe1_orthe2 3 года назад +1

      I don’t even have a boss at work. I have a manager though. I am my boss in ALL areas if life, including marriage.

    • @notthe1_orthe2
      @notthe1_orthe2 3 года назад

      @Akshay 004 lol how so? Aren’t all adults autonomous unless they choose otherwise? Even the OP said he did have a boss at work. That’s a choice.

    • @mochamommyATX
      @mochamommyATX 3 года назад +1

      Love the Red Pill guys
      Great for business.As a nurse Medicare/Medicaid pays BIG BUCKS

    • @notthe1_orthe2
      @notthe1_orthe2 3 года назад +4

      @@mochamommyATX they are super miserable. They think their doomsday outlook on life is somehow better than being happily married. Lol honestly its a good thing these MPOW, red pill incels DONT want to get married. Brilliant idea! Haha

    • @srianjanaVadevoo
      @srianjanaVadevoo 2 года назад

      What ab ur sexual life ?

  • @TheJackOfFools
    @TheJackOfFools 3 года назад +3

    Love the "big piece of chicken" callback 😂

  • @theresonlyonebullitt
    @theresonlyonebullitt 2 года назад +5

    Just had to watch Chris Rock today🤣

  • @chillinebony
    @chillinebony 4 года назад +11

    "and the kids are in on it" LOL 😂😂😂👏👏👏

  • @TekkLuthor
    @TekkLuthor 4 года назад +207

    Most men think they're in a good relationship

    • @andrewiwm9980
      @andrewiwm9980 3 года назад +3

      Underrated comment B.S. MBA

    • @TekkLuthor
      @TekkLuthor 3 года назад +11

      @Adolfo Enrique learn to live by yourself and people will pay to be around you

    • @andrewiwm9980
      @andrewiwm9980 3 года назад +2

      @B.S. MBA underrated comment

    • @austinbutcher8106
      @austinbutcher8106 3 года назад +2

      I am * looks at left hand *

    • @TheArcher101
      @TheArcher101 2 года назад

      I'm good in a relationship - but do I ever get even a fraction of my energy and effort back? Never

  • @eigelgregossweisse9563
    @eigelgregossweisse9563 2 года назад +5

    Will man, will.

  • @WesMakowski
    @WesMakowski 4 года назад +5

    0:00
    When you're driving with the homies and sneak a deadly fart