Signs of Autism in Adults - Autistic Traits You Never Knew Existed
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- Опубликовано: 24 ноя 2024
- Hi! I'm Orion Kelly and I'm Autistic. On this video I explore some of the #autistic traits in adults that you may have never realised were signs of #autism. Plus, I share my personal lived experiences as an #actuallyautistic person. #asd #orionkelly #autismsigns #whatautismfeelslike #autismdiagnosis
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Related: autism, autism diagnosis, Orion Kelly, orionkelly, thatautisticguy, tiktok videos, autistic, autism in adults, autism in women, autism in men, autism spectrum condition, asd, autism spectrum disorder, aspergers, aspergers syndrome, autism in boys, autism in girls, dsm, dsm5, autistic adults, autistic kids, autism mom, autism parent, autism family, autism speaks, autism awareness, autism acceptance, autism at work, am I autistic, adult autism test, autism disclosure, autism therapy, autism prevention, autism meltdown, autistic burnout, autistic behavior, autism symptoms, autism traits, autistic signs, what autism feels like, love on the spectrum, stimming, echolalia, anxiety
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I do not cut tags out of clothes; I carefully remove them with a seam ripper so not a single tiny shard of them remain.
Amazing!
And if I have to undo a seam and resew it I do it, I can't wear it if it has even the remains of a tag.
Never even tried but I hate them.
Hate wearing clothes at all really.
Favor soft cotton and wear it as much as possible.
People used to give me dirty looks like it wasn't appropriate for someone my age to dress that way.
Now I'm even older no one seems to care much what I do which is bliss.
Brilliant!
It's also something EDS patients really dislike clothing tags, our skin is extra sensitive from weaker collagen
I feel a bit weirded out now. At 51, I always knew I was different. I never understood why. Back then, autism wasn't discussed. So we are labeled as weird, loners or just different. I never related to people. I never understood the need for people to have 10 best friends and endlessly socialize. I dread it with such disdain, I literally think about calling in sick to work to avoid happy hour. During the holiday season, Christmas lunch, Christmas pot luck, Christmas party, Secret Santa, all that stuff made me anxious. During the pandemic, working at home, it was God send.
Same!!! I loved the pandemic for those reasons!!!!
Yes, same here too.
Ready for a world where we can articulate these issues of dread in a way where it can be appropriately accommodated, or at the very least, not held against us. I've always craved a social system where we can politely opt in or out of smalltalk/whatever else. Like, blink twice if "I love you but your traditional human ritual is respectfully not for me right now and I know you'll understand because you love and respect me too."
The autistic world is my nightmare.
@@yesterdaydream it's called ignoring the other person
Do you think extroverts want to deal with all the boring, unexceptional morons we gotta deal with everyday? Nvm the overt aholes?
We only like interesting and/or decent people to speak with
Don't put yourselves on a pedestal- we're not interested in dealing with you, either
1. Feeling uncomfortable, awkward, anxious, or stressed around new people or places. (Social anxiety)
2. The use of structures, scripts, templates...to have conversations and/or interactions with others.
3. A preference or a dislike for hugging, kissing, greeting (hand shaking), or holding people.
4. Do you like to wear legitimate noise canceling head phones away from home?
5. Noises- do they seem louder to you when stressed, tired, or triggered?
6. Do you ever get disproportionately startled by sudden loud or unexpected noises?
7. You can't tolerate certain fabrics or textures.
8. Do you cut the tags off clothing or it agitates you? It could be an autistic trait.
9. Can't tolerate your clothing sometimes.
10. The texture of food can be repulsing. It can actually make you gag.
11. Can be utterly repulsed by certain flavors, textures, or foods. Even the thought of it.
12. Exhausted after returning home from...anywhere. It takes so much energy and masking.
13. Spending more time than usual when go to the toilet or the bathroom. It's your quiet place.
14. A preference for being alone in social gatherings, or close to your safe person.
15. Do you like people watching?👀 An observer.
16. Have an exclusive use policy for cafe's and/or shops of any kind. (Example, no flexibility to shop at different grocery stores. Park in same place every time, etc.)
17. A failure to connect with others. Or others struggle to connect with you. Labeled quirky, strange, or odd.
18. Do people laugh at things you say but you were being serious. Dry humor.
19. Always seem to have disagreements with others, but you don't know how that happened.
20. In the workplace, often reprimanded that you're too blunt, rude, not a team player, used an inappropriate tone, etc.
The loud noises problem for me dissipates a bit when I hit the middle of the day. I start to notice it less. I arrive at work 7 am. And I’m like “turn that down!” Gradual improvement as day wears on.
I got 3/20 but I figured I'm weird not autistic lol.
If only Orion would have entered the descriptions in the timeline and the Description like a good ASD guy (21. Frustrated at missing descriptions) :) instead of making us hope a viewer would do the job for us. Thanks Amy.
Thank you so very much for this. I didn't have 20 minutes to spend listening to this! 😍
I don't have any of these traits to any notable degree but a friend of mine checks every box and it is incredibly taxing to be around her most days.
I’m 65 and no longer punish myself for being different, or try to “socialize “ like others do. I’m free, I have released my expectations !! I do what I want when I want. I have social ties that I treasure, but not many.
I'm 40 and have made the same decision. All my life stuggled to blend in and to a certain degree nobody can tell the difference but i hate the fact that i can't be myself. I had to be somebody to get people to like me. No more, its ok if i lose some friends, its more important to be true to myself. Being at peace with yourself is far more inportant. Go at your pace, life is not a race.
That's called "maturing" my friend -- we slowly learn that the "problem" was never "us" .. this guy is far less Autistic than just plain annoying & narcistic..
So true. I’m 62 ,and when I was much younger ( in my 20’ and 30’s) I really struggled over my problems . I tryed so hard to be as “cool” as others but I always felt like a fraud. Now I allow myself just to be who I am. It does feel better to know I wasn’t alone in feeling like I did.
You just defined "normal" --
I call it being true Sigma
64 and new to this. I am just learning how much I've masked all my life. It is very freeing but I am still at the scared stage. Family don't know and I am afraid to share. They are part of the bullying.
I love how my autistic son shows me affection... When Im down, he will pat my shoulder n acknowledge he sees I'm having a hard time. It's enough and very comforting to know he cares, even though he's not a hugger. He's authentic ❤
I think the love feeling can be very deep. Actually deeper than the average person. This is why they don't like to go there as the feeling is painful when it comes. Just my own experience. Kind of comes in a big wave.
My young adult daughter rests her head on my shoulder to show support & affection. She is autistic & the most genuinely supportive person.
@@treelore5100
What is the average person. 🤔
Here’s another one for you: You don’t miss people in their absence like you should. Even those that are close to you, and if it’s been years you’re still not especially excited to see them, but when you do it’s like all the emotion of missing them hits all at once, and can be overwhelming in an exquisite sort of way.
That's probably related to our difficulty with object permanence.
Yeah I can relate
YES!!!! LITERALLY!!! my closest friend once asked me if i was a psychopath cuz my reaction to moving away wasn't as emotional as she thought it should be & she was quizzing my on how i felt about it and i didn't know how to respond...
THIS
Wow, I’ve never had someone explain this so perfectly
The bit about "no small talk" during #14 had me laughing hysterically. It's so true. Hanging out with the pets and/or kids is way better than mingling with the other folks
I much prefer socializing with pets than people.
@@mainecoon6514 If I go out too many nights in a row, my cat gives me that "going out again?!" look. Hahaha!
I also prefer to be with my dogs than people, but I think most people find small talk difficult
I avoid get togethers and am always cringing when having to walk into one. I detest small talk, and have learned that even if someone is interested in something you are, they don't want to hear about it from you. I seriously don't connect. I think get togethers are more of a social "guage-ment" to see who is where, like a social ladder evaluation. For me its not pleasurable at all, unless there's a dog or cat wanting attention, that's different.
I hate small talk, I'd rather talk about solving a problem.
No matter who you are, everyone of us has to do uncomfortable things sometimes. At the very least, tolerating social norms is sometimes challenging for all of us.
My Autism went unnoticed and mis diagnosed because the rise of Autistic cases didn’t really peak until the early 2000’s. I show every sign. Lack of social life, overwhelmed in crowds, pre conversations, I pace around, perfectionist, my clothes never feel right! And if they don’t I won’t go somewhere. When my friends were going to parties or clubs I would sit in the corner and have one beer(Only to feel like I fit in) not talking to anyone, I say random things, and am extremely obsessed with things and facts that other people aren’t. I am 31 years old and I just got assessed. I spent my whole life being treated for other things: ADHD, Bipolar, depression etc. but I remember being in the hospitals knowing I wasn’t as crazy as these people because I was so smart and normal feeling but when I was home I felt the opposite “I am crazy or nobody likes me” so I stay home. But that’s my story lol thanks to anyone who read this. We got this guys!
I feel like there's something other than autism out there that hasn't been discovered yet. What you described sounds like a sub-genre of extreme introversion.
❤IMAGINE FINDING OUT AT AGE 42. BEING DIAGNOSED WITH WITH EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN..TOOK AN ONLINE TEST. RESULTS: 'FUNCTIONAL AUTISTIC'😢 GLAD I'M IN THERAPY NOW.
I can say yes to most of those, but only sometimes.
Thanks for sharing! That is so me because my late grandmother was super strict, overly protected, and she never wanted me to have a social life either.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Some of these traits could possibly be social anxiety, generalized anxiety, and introversion in some people.
I agree
True but could be that all those things could be symptoms occurring bc of autism. 🤷🏻♀️
Yeah, I am definitely introverted and have social anxiety. I identify with many of these but they are mostly the social awkwardness, like being in my comfort zone areas, and being too honest ones, but not really the touch, texture, and sounds aspects. Although, someone touching me out of the blue can make me instinctively jump or move away from them.
That’s how I am. I’ve had test for a diagnosis twice and it was confirmed that I’m not autistic.
@@zanebarrett23 for me it's all of the above. I hate being out of my comfort zone AND I'm very setive to sounds and textures. Sometimes my clothes make me feel like I want to crawl out of my skincwhich I thought was normal but after this video I'm a bit worried. Lol.
Post-conversations are the worst .. days, weeks and even months later still analysing some insignificant conversation 🙄
I was a kid in the 80s.
Nobody knew how to deal with me, especially in school.
I remember them trying to say something was wrong but my parents wouldn't accept it.
I learned to adapt the best I could.
I recall my parents being in denial that something was wrong about me. But after they had someone call CPS on them, they got me tested. I was diagnosed with autism at age 3.
With you. Brother.
Do you wish they would’ve figured it out back then? Or do you think it was better they didn’t? I’m in Special education and I wonder about this a lot.
@@KristinAnne327 Back in the 80's, they mainly medicated the kids that weren't acting "normal". I remember they wanted to medicate my brother, but my parents adamantly refused all that. Said it would turn him into a zombie. He was basically just a typically boy, doing boy things, and pissing off the teachers and principal. And now he's an almost 50 year old man, doing typical man things and pissing people off lol.
growing up in the 90s wasn't much different.
I've never been diagnosed with autism but I'm an introverted, highly sensitive person with social anxiety disorder so I can relate to most of these except for the last few and it kinda helps to see other people are like this too. I think you're helping a lot of people with videos like this to realize they're not weird or wrong and there are many others out there who have the same traits and/or struggles. I mean there are people in the comments who are like 60 or 70 saying they see themselves in this.
You and me and a bazillion other people.
Yawn
@@LillyBunnyBoo I'm pretty sure we're only in the billions of people, far from bazillions. On this world anyways. ;)
Introverts always have high social anxiety and feel burnt after interacting too much, its not autism it is a personality trait. My wife hates the public, i am fine and can adjust to any situation. Doesnt make her autistic.
As an introvert, I also related to several of these - retreating to the bathroom during social occasions is a BIG one!
@@LillyBunnyBoo get some sleep
I have so many of these! 😂😂😂 I am also criticised for being “too analytical “, “ too intense”, etc. Trying too hard to appear to be outgoing and social and just not pulling it off, being way over the top, and then totally drained and needing to shut down afterwards. But if someone offered a “cure” I wouldn’t want it. Autism is not a disease. It’s just a different operating system.
You were ok until the last 3 sentences. That’s exactly what an autistic will say!
Pippa - I like the terminology you used, *"a different operating system".* 👍👍👍
You forgot "too literal". or didn't you? Ooooh! Those negatives ! Did I not say that! or did I? If I did not say that then what did I not say and what did I say? Did I say anything if I did not say that? Is that comment not here since I did not say that? What did I say? Nothing? Isn't nothing not a word or not?
Yeah, I'd rather be normal.
@@assassinaria Ahhh, but did you have to revise for exams, or could you just remember it all?
I was diagnosed with ASD at age 53. All my life I’ve had quirks that I never understood. Why do I hate being touched? Why am I unable to speak around people I don’t know - and why can’t I STOP speaking when I’m around people I do know? Why do I have to wear the same type of clothing every day? Why do I get completely obsessed with and absorbed in certain things? Why is my daily routine so strict and inflexible? Why do I hate talking to people on the phone - even to my family? Why am I perfectly content to be by myself nearly all the time? Why do I eat the same foods every day?
My therapist suggested I look into the Autism Spectrum, and once I did, my entire life made sense. Now I’m trying to figure out how to be "myself" around friends and family, after a lifetime of trying to act "normal" and trying to be social. That’s really hard to do.
I sooo hear this. I was about the same age when someone suggested I might have ASD, and now a lot of the things I'd always struggled with make sense.
I could have just written what you just said. Oh. (I'm not the only one). I have always thought (and ben told) I'm just weird. To me having the same food and clothes and such just takes stress out of life ... and the same re being in your own company. Makes perfect sense to me. x
I'm figuring myself out after watching this.
How did you bring this up with your doctor? Which doctor? Or a therapist? Do they medicate or something? I'm kind of upset after seeing this video because it seems to have validated my suspicions, normally I don't watch Autism related content because I dismiss my suspicions about being autistic. But now. I'm not sure what to do with this revelation. Any tips or advice? (ETA, I'm 55)
@@kmh997 my psychotherapist brought the topic up with me after I’d been seeing him for about a year. I had no idea that I could be on the spectrum. I didn’t even know what it meant to be on the spectrum. I thought autistic people couldn’t communicate and had violent outbursts when they got upset, that sort of thing. I had always thought of myself as being introverted, pragmatic, and powered by logic rather than emotion.
However, I wasn’t ready to consider it when my therapist first brought it up. I rejected the idea. About a year later, my therapist brought it up again, deciding to go at it from a more logical viewpoint. He basically just read me the clinical definition of autism and what symptoms were used to make the determination that a person has ASD. He told me to do some reading online and look for videos of people talking about what ASD is like for them. That really opened my eyes to it.
In my case, I don’t really take any medication to treat my ASD. I started going to therapy after a significant loss in my life that I wasn’t recovering from the way I felt I should be, and that led to me being put on an antidepressant. The antidepressant doesn’t "treat" my ASD, though. I just use talk therapy to try to learn how to navigate through life better as a person on the spectrum.
1. Nervousness in novel situations and with novel people. Story of my life! My ex commented on this multiple times. I've learned to embrace it, as it bleeds into interest or even excitement.
2. Use of templates for conversations and small talk. I have so many interview phrase books.
3. Physical touch is a thorny thing; sometimes the right thing doesn't occur to one. Autistic people don't get into this as much. My story: this was me with a lot of people except my ex, who also is on the spectrum. I enjoyed hugging him when we said goodbyes and being in physical contact. Life does weird things.
4. Use of headphones or earplugs to reduce sensory overload. For sure!
5. Noise seems louder when one is under stress. Yes.
6. Getting disproportionately startled to unexpected or sudden loud noises. YES! YES! YES!
7. Unable to tolerate certain textures, especially in clothing. I don't like a lot of skintight stuff, like nylons and leggings.
8. Removing tags from clothing to make it more bearable.
9. Can't wear particular clothing because it makes you uncomfortable, even if it's not fabric texture.
10. Texture of food can repulse one.
11. Repulsed by certain flavors, smells, or textures of food, even just the thought of them. It's not food, but cigarette smoke is so noxious to me.
12. Going out to do errands exhausts you by the time you return.
13. Spending more time than average on the toilet or in the bathroom to relax and unwind.
14. Preference for being alone when you should be mingling or staying close to safe person. To an extent; I'm working on being more confident and independent.
15. Watching people or watching the world go by, as if it's a TV show.
16. You have exclusive use policy for shops; only one used, and you don't deviate. Not so much.
17. Others struggle to connect with you. Viewed as quirky, weird, strange, or odd.
18. People laugh at what you are saying even if you weren't trying to make them laugh. A time or two.
19. Always winding up in disagreements and arguments, even when such was not your aim. Occasionally.
20. Often reprimanded at work for being too rude, blunt, honest, or straightforward. Not using the right tone. Not being a team player. This is why I hate the job search process.
21. Looking for this comment and reading it instead of watching the video.
SO MANY of these traits are of those people who are survivors of early childhood trauma and emotional and psychological neglect. CPTSD and General anxiety disorder.
Indeed
why do alot of info say its still on spectrum of retardation. none of this is close to anything really
Question: does anyone else find that strangers will open up to you and tell you more than they would tell most people? I get this often. It may be a waitress, or someone working at the house or someone in a group that you don't know. Maybe because I dont know how to make small talk so conversation just turns to people opening up.
Yes, this is the story of my life!
Absolutely this happens to me all the time. I feel like I am a universal bartender, everyone comes to me with their problems, but no one wants to hear mine. Complete strangers will walk up to me and start conversations and start getting personal and I just hate it, but I try my best. I can be all alone in an aisle in a store looking at a product, and here come five people and they're also interested in what I'm interested in. Sometimes they'll start talking to me and I try to politely get away.
They might mistake your inability to chit chat for a deeper intrest in their person
Absolutely! They will stop all of a sudden and say that they have never told anyone else what they just shared with me in our first conversation.
@ I feel like that's likely. Cant make small talk so they start talking about life stories.
Yep, I got 18 out of 20. I don’t know what getting a diagnosis would do. I’ve adjusted. I’m okay with only a few people who “get” me. I retired early at 50 as work was killing me. I’m blunt, can’t pretend, and won’t lie. When I retired, I became a one on one aid to an autistic child in school. People were blown away at how intuitive and in line I was with understanding the child and his needs. It was a lot of fun, but I also clued in at that point that I too might be autistic. The bold outright signs a child gives are much easier to identify than in an adult who has learned to hide it.
That is so true!! You learn functional workarounds to keep going under the social radar.
I had the same experience with being a one on one aide to an autistic child! It was awful seeing everyone ignore his attempts at communicating, when they seemed very obvious to me.
Happy for you and blessings for now helping the younger set.
The classic thing is, a mother or father gets diagnosed because their children get diagnosed. So yeah. I did not get a formal diagnosis. What I did when I realized it was probably the explanation for my experiences in life, I bought several Asperger's books for children (and for girls especially) and studied them, and started putting the advice that was in the books into practice. Totally changed my worldview and led to self-acceptance I never ever had in my whole life. I actually got a lot more help from the children's books than any books I've read that are written for adults. btw, I became a freelance long before I ever knew I am autistic, just never could cope in offices.
@@victoriabaker4400 What books on Asperger's (as it used to be called) in girls specifically? I imagine there haven't been many, so perhaps I should just look myself...
I would have never know I was autistic till my 3rd child came along. He’s moderately ASD so we needed to Persue the diagnosis.
Our genetic tests came back with the anomaly on my gene!!!
The one thing that stood out to me my entire life is that I’ve never felt like belonged here, like I am visiting this planet & I don’t like the people.
I put in my resignation from the human race decades ago, still no answer.
I don't dislike humans. I have compassion for them. But I feel lonely and a sense of missing "home", wherever that is. Something like Pandora I suspect.
I wonder if you are a Monarch
I like people, but children are monsters (not their fault), other adults are aliens, and the elderly are angels. I also hide with books.
That's the way believers in Jesus (Yahshua) should view their time here. Our home is with our heavenly Father. :)
He left out one that I have dealt with my whole life and only recently realized I was autistic. I do not naturally look people in the eyes. I find it VERY uncomfortable. Even those I love.
He mentioned in the title "you never knew existed", and not looking people in the eyes is very often talked about in autism
OMG I can SO relate to most of these! I can not STAND the textures of some foods....I like the taste, but the texture repulses me, like, coconut for example. I am physically drained by people and situations. I can not stand certain textures, I even refuse to sleep on 'sheets' because the texture repulses me, I have to use blankets. Same with clothing. I can not stand jeans and other certain materials. If I wear them to go out, when I get home the first thing I do is change into comfortable clothing! My son is the same way. We're not being difficult or picky, it's just the way we feel and perceive things.
Yes to all of these. My 4th grade teacher told my mom I had autism. Nothing was ever done to investigate. It would feel really nice for that to be acknowledged. I’ve managed pretty darn well!
It’s never too late to go seek the diagnosis yourself. My son got his diagnosis as a young adult.
You can actually use you extra sensitivities to train yourself to identify cues. I often notices things others do not.
@toriless I work in shipping and often times when we open up a trailer if I can usually tell if somethings busted open way before anyone else based on smell, it's not all bad, my hearing has caused me no end of headaches tho.
Lucky me, I was born in Finland. We have cultural respect for personal space, do minimal amount of small talk and understand it when someone likes to be alone. We are often quite happy to be quiet together. No school uniforms, we wear what we want and value individuality.
I do know some people diagnosed as autistic persons, and they have hard enough time with their sensory issues etc. But socially there is not so much pressure.
Almost makes me want to be a Finn, but I am not sure I could deal with your winters.
@@joycebrewer4150 As a Canadian you just learn to appreciate every other season more, dress for it, and have hot meals and drinks. Snow shoveling can get very tedious and demanding if it hits hard though!
As a 50% Finn myself, I wonder how much of our genetics is fundamentally related to what is described as autistic. A lot of the traits of autism are just a typical Finn.
@@LeoMidori I know, several years ago I got so tired of snow shoveling, I allowed a slanting ramp of snow hard packed to develope outside my side door, up to the footpath that led to our garage. Then I found myself with a large heavy box to bring in from the car. I slipped on the slope, and with my hands in the box hand hold holes, there was no way to catch myself and blunt the impact of the fall. I wound up badly bruised, even to deep vein thrombosis. It took 2 months to get over the worst of it, and a further six months to feel really better, 98% of the time. I still do not prefer to sleep on my side where I landed that day. Sometimes I roll in my sleep and regret it in the morning.
good okay, now please go AWAY.😃
You just described my husband...to the letter.
I am neuro typical, and it is difficult and sometimes exhausting being his safe person. Thank you for the honesty and the list.
I've got a friend of 18 years about 80% of my current life, you probably mean more to your husband than you know, even if he knows he difficult for you sometimes, I know I can be.
I had never considered autism as the cause of my lifestyle. But every example rings true to me. Thank you.
Right?
Same. I clicked on this video for simple curiosity and now I feel 80% sure I might be on the spectrum.
My wife used to call them Chuckisms, then we realized it was Autism. Rough for me to accept it, and still figuring things out. Thanks for the help Orion
That's cool Chuck, I really appreciate that. I was only diagnosed a few days ago and that made my day.
Chuck you don't need to feel.bad about you or a diagnosis..I'm sure you are awesome.
Hey, there, Chuck! :)
Remember: YOU ARE **STILL** THE SAME MAN YOU WERE JUST ONE SECOND BEFORE YOU HEARD YOUR "DIAGNOSIS"--CORRECT??? 😊
I mean, Nothing about you has changed--just because a doctor gave you a label: "autistic".
Right??? 😊
So, SMILE, AGAIN, CHUCK!
EVERYONE **LOVES** TO SEE YOU SMILE!! :)
Well, everyone's autism *is* unique - so, really, 'Chuckisms' could be an apt name for your autistic traits. As long as *you'd* want it to be, that is.
Thanks for sharing👍
Just remember that they are not negative traits - they are only autistic traits! Society just needs education, starting with us.
Congrats on starting to figure it out, you'll only get better at accommodating it now. 🙂
Tf why did I read ohio....
I learned early on that I was a misfit. Even as a child with family gatherings out of state with cousins who I only saw once every 2 years, I took a book and read while my sister was the social butterfly. I knew that I was different but now in my sixties after recognizing the symptoms on this video and others, it makes me realize that I am not the only one.
Not all autistic are social rejects... this is a massive misconception. Maybe you just hate and being social but doesn't mean your autistic lol...
@@topkekmemes1675 They didn't say that was their only sign. 🙄
@mariesmith8454 Same here.
You're definitely not the only one. There is a whole group of misfits out there like us. 😊
@@sweetb2006d tastx didn’t say that it was *their* “only sign,” either. Let’s not make someone who’s been ‘othered’ and felt excluded their entire life feel that way here, too. 60+ years gives you a lot of time to get to know yourself, even when you haven’t had the opportunity to put the pieces together before. It isn’t up to anyone on YT, reading a single comment by them, to say that they’re wrong in what likely feels like a much-needed ‘aha moment’ of realization that may finally bring some self-acceptance, inner peace, and long wished for connection to others with a similar life experience.
Yes! Im 56 & only just diagnosed. At last i can put a name to all those weird things about me that made me stand out.
People overload i call it: yes, my batteries get drained quickly around people.
And ive always been intolerant to noise. I jump out of my skin at an unexpected noise which can make people stare. I have PTSD also, & i always thought this trait was exclusively a PTSD thing..... so its probably made worse by my autism too.
I only got 20 out of 20. It was really interesting hearing myself talk with a different accent... wow. Thank you for this video! Another thing that I struggle with is trying to explain Autism, which usually happens when I'm reacting.
It's nice to not feel like you're the only person in the world experiencing something difficult. Thanks so much for sharing this. ❤
How funny.
This really describes me. The more I learn about autism the more confident I am that I have undiagnosed adult autism...
Yeah, now that makes sense to me, All the awkward situations that I had been through my whole life in social situations, feeling that I'm different from other people, now I more accepting to myself more merciful to my self.
@@Ex-Mohammed_Anwar Same maaan. I have felt the same things. Like I have been so awkward at social gatherings. I am known as the weird one lol. But now I'm starting to understand. That I might be autistic.
The person who first diagnosed me told me if YOU think you have it, you do!
Same here…
@@Ex-Mohammed_Anwar I think that’s been the hardest thing to deal with, at least for me.
I’ve never fitted into any social groups and always been on the outside looking in.
Having a few friends that aren’t really close while I see others surrounded by lots of close friends and very easily being able to make new ones.
I find it very difficult to meet people who want to form new friendships at age 58 and I ruminate over how I interact with other people thinking there must be something about my personality that puts people off.
If I could figure out where I’m going wrong I could work on adapting my public ‘persona’ to find and keep new friends but I honestly can’t see any difference between myself and everyone else? I feel like I’m walking around with a tattoo on my forehead saying ‘beware of this person’.
Edit: Also If it said ‘this person is vulnerable and easily manipulated’ it would be right to.
People/predators have taken advantage of me all my life.
I'm 72 and have many of these traits but I blame it on an unloving and rejectful upbringing by my self-centered narcissistic parents who were too dense to realize they were raising me in a way that caused me to assume those traits. I don't know if I'm actually autistic or if I just learned to act in ways that conform to autism.
Take the free MBTI test online. It explained a lot to me. Takes like 10 min to take. 💞😊
DC KIDD : Have you ever read anything by Temple Grandin? She is a National Treasure, as well as the author (and researcher) of many books and articles on Autism over the last 3-4 decades… I learned a LOT about Autism-which co-occurs with AD/H/D-from her. Highly recommended!
I feel the same. Childhood trauma drastically increases the likelihood of these traits, per the research out there now. When trying to get to the bottom of it, the thing that makes me feel better is whether it’s from a predisposition or a messed up upbringing the treatment is the same.
Something to consider...my parents were basically trying to beat the Autism out of me. They didn't know Autism was a thing, but it did irreparable damage.
That's probably sociopathy it's caused by trauma
I absolutely hate super warehouse stores. Florescent lighting, overhead speakers, concrete floors, tall isles and echo. I absolutely hate pumpkin pie, sweet potatoes, cooked carrots, or overcooked vegetables yuck, definitely texture but also smell regarding orange cooked food. My hubby definitely ticks many of these boxes as well. I also feel you on the tags thing and uncomfortable clothing. Lol I absolutely love hanging out in the library watching people. I read but also watch ppl and it is quiet. Same market every time. Lol I told my hubby we could use those small shampoos you get from hotels to fill the liquid soap since he really appreciates saving money. He said “I really like the smell of the ones I buy. I immediately said ok that is fine with me, because I can totally relate lol. TY this is the first video of yours I have watched.
Thank you. I am finally coming to be at peace with it all after all these years of being labeled "not normal". No one talked about autism when I was a little girl, I was just the strange girl in her own little world. I love your sign, my friend autism. I actually like myself and the way I am. It's just other people can't relate to me and understand my world. Great video!
Sounds are a big one of mine
One thing I loved about the pandemic was how quiet it was going out, even at the stores you didn’t hear talking. It was so nice
Birds and high pitched voices are other sounds that I physically can’t handle
Sounds especially high pitched sounds are my biggest trigger! I've gotten both good ear buds and also loop ear filters so that I can still listen for things like people talking and such but it dull the high pitched sounds that are actually painful for me
When kids do the high pitched screeching, it freaks my brain out. I tend to be patient to a fault, until someone does a high pitched noise, then I say STOP!
I can’t stand vocal fry or radio people who stammer and don’t get the word out smoothly. Hissing S sounds, Argh!
For me it was/is music, which as I'm sure anyone could imagine in the day and age of portable speakers, and growing up with 5 sisters is/was a nightmare, for the last couple of years I've been wearing headphones with noise canceling since my hearing is sensitive in general,and I can't do buds, they've helped a lot, and I hate taking them off at socially obligatory times.
OMG. I'm turning 70 and this explains so much of my lived experience.
Running conversations in my head before and after they happened always makes me nuts 😂
#6, startled by unexpected noise
#12 Exhausted after being out or having visitors
(and i don't do crowds, AT ALL)
#13, time in the bathroom
#16 exclusive use of certain shops, supermarkets etc (didn't realise that was a thing, thought it was just me😂)
#17 struggle to connect with others
# 6 - Exaggerated startle response is also typical of PTSD (complex PTSD, too)
Don't think of it as "bad", it's just your body preserving itself form a perceived danger. 👍
Yes having PTSD and Autism makes this particularly hard to deal with often, usually resulting in going to bed.
@@MyDjturner Haha. I'm watching this from bed and was reading your comment thinking, "that doesn't sound right" until I noticed.
My youngest was diagnosed with high functioning autism so I watched this with her in mind. Then I realized you were telling about MY traits! 🤦♀️ I have to show this to my husband.
I’m autistic and I deal with a lot of problems with there not being many resources for adults with autism. There are resources for children, but people forget that children with autism grow up to become adults with autism. I’m too introverted to stand up to the people in charge and get laws in place to make it discrimination to either kick someone out of school or fire them for things in direct relation to autism. I have behavior problems related to the autism and a certain order and routine for things that I have to follow. If people mess it up, I go mental. It’s not something I can control and I don’t think anyone should be punished for things out of there control, yet there are no laws really protecting someone from losing their jobs or from getting kicked out of school for it. Even the grading system is wrong because teachers and professors grade based on intellect and not on how hard the person tries. I’m terrible at math and no matter how hard I studied, I still wouldn’t understand the material. The whole grading system should be changed to make it easier for people who put in the effort and still don’t succeed. There should also be separate schools and other resources for people with higher functioning autism and similar disabilities. I always felt weird when I participated in things that included people with varying severity of disabilities because I felt I didn’t belong. I was higher functioning than them, yet lower functioning than the rest of society. I also don’t believe that even though I and many others suffer behavior problems, we shouldn’t be the ones to change. Others should learn better to work around us because let’s face it: there is no magical cure for autism. We may not be normal in the traditional sense of the word, but this is our normal. If the rest of the world doesn’t like it, tough. They’re just gonna have to deal with it
I turned 60 this year. Everything you say hits a cord with me.
I've always thought something was different with me since I was a kid.
They struck a cord with you people pretty much everyone feels these things. It doesn't make you autistic to have these traits.
@@ThePolaroid669 Who died and made you the spelling police? Let’s be nice. One small error, could have been an honest mistake and you feel compelled to draw attention to it. Finding fault with others says a whole lot about you as a person.
@@rebeccacroft1203 I don't think that asking if this person meant 'chord' is 'finding fault'. We can't proofread our own writing, as we see what we meant to write. I'd appreciate someone pointing out an 'honest mistake'. I could say that you're finding fault with Mr Grieve's helpful comment and you too felt 'compelled' to comment on that. :)
@@enigmatist666 Of course they were finding fault. Chord and cord are pronounced exactly the same. And if one were to take it in context, they would fully know what the poster was talking about. So if you know what the person was talking about, why make a point to correct them, when it truly doesn't or shouldn't affect you at all.
@@ThePolaroid669 have you never heard of autocorrect? If you're dictating the wrong word is sometimes automatically texted and if using a small phone it's easy to miss an error.
I wonder why in some social gatherings why people don't approach me or my family. It's common for me, I feel like I try hard to get a conversation going, but it doesn't go on and the other person moves on to someone else. I have a hard time coming up with topics to have in common with others at work or with women at church gatherings or events for women. After watching this, I think I am autistic. So much resonated with me.
I found myself holding my breath and fighting tears listening to you describe me. I'm 62 and autism was suspected when I was a teenager, but ruled out somehow. I think I am going to run this by my doctor. Thank you.
You're fine...you made it to 62 no problem right?
You’re 2 years older than me and I was diagnosed as “love deprived”, “Emotionally immature” and “learning disabled”. But only boys at our age got the autism diagnosis, because they believed only boys suffered from it. Otherwise, autism would’ve been my diagnosis.
I knew people craved diagnosis but you hope you're a tard that tops it.
WTG .. you're willing to excuse your BS under a "label" ... Every single one of these can be controlled and fix IF you are willing to work on YOU instead of expecting other's to excuse your bad behavior.
@@lorireed8046 So what do you blame your rude behavior on? This has nothing to do with getting away with bad behavior. This is about understanding why we have always felt different from everyone else and finding answers we didn’t even know we were searching our whole lives. Like a fog lifts and we see things clearly. Discovering our autism IS about working on ourselves. When we understand the root cause, we begin to understand how to work on our problems.
"What do you want me to do? Go to the bakery I've never been to before?" This is me down to a tee. I laughed on the outside when Orion said t, but I'm crying on the inside, because at 51 years old, I'm coming to the realisation that I have autism as a result of watching these videos. My autism has cost me two long-term relationships, made me homeless, my friends etc and I'm so depressed when I realise how different my life could have been if I had realised sooner.
The question you have to ask yourself is, what do you do now?
Unmasking may help you feel more.. you. Give up trying to be the type of person you're not.
It might have cost me a relationship. My ex straight out said that he thought we were too similar, and he has ASD as well. I vibed so well with him and miss him.
ok, I'm gonna do the stupidly positive thing here that triggers frustration so easily (I know it does. from personal experiance. I can get so angry at this)... there's still time left. now that you know what you are looking for you can watch more people talk about their experiances and understand how you work. you can find forums. you can find people in the comments. you can find more ways to make your life better. you got a lead to follow. wind in the sails and all that nonsense...
I'm almost making myself naucious...
I think you were traumatized...it"s not too late!! Go Get Help! I was never so normal as I was on meds! Terri
Indeed😅
I have said to my closest family for years that I have autistic traits and recently my grandson has been diagnosed autistic at 5 and I see my child self in almost all of his behaviours. I requested a diagnosis 3 years ago with my GP and he said there was no point at 50, but 17 of these traits describe me perfectly, every day is so hard, worse still because of a physical disability, which causes chronic pain. Just knowing why really helps, thank you!
I think you should continue on with getting a diagnosis if it interfers with your life that you are not functional or affects your relationships. Pne can get medicine, mind you that medicine sometimes does not help unfortunately. It's never too late to get help and they are wrong that there's no use now over 50 years. Dont take their words for law. Good luck my friend 👍🍀✊
P.s. look into change of diet and excluding dairy and gluten, also change of lifestyle, meditation, excercise etc if you dont want to take medicine
I was talking to my mom and brother, both have PhD, about a theory about autism, next think I knew they were sending my books like Aspergers In Love, etc. This was years ago before the "spectrum" craze. I still have input filter issues. The social cues can be learned but not that sensory overload.
You should insist on getting a diagnosis - to help you, and also those in your family circle. Not only will it help you understand the way you are, but you can be helped with coping strategies for challenging situations. It’s also important that you develop a better understanding of the effect of your behaviour on other family (NT) members, who have to work round your behaviours
I am also looking for this dx. I didn’t feel like BPD was a good fit, ever. ADHD, OCD, c-ptsd and kids and grandkids with ASD kinda points to ASD.
The more research I do into neurodivergence, the more I feel seen. The majority of these are exactly me. I just thought there was something "wrong" with me, constantly trying to do better and understand myself so that I could do better.
I know this isn't a diagnostic thing, but this has inspired me to finally go and get an assessment. Thank you
Did you get an assessment? How'd that go? I'm thinking about getting an assessment myself.
Me too
@@testtickles8755U got the balls to do it! 😂
@@hatah9305 ironically... No 😞
I was diagnosed autistic at age 36. Everything clicked into perspective and made sense. I'm female, so it's much harder to diagnose.
Few months back I was checking out tests for autism for my child. I decided to get myself tested .... and the results showed I was actually on the spectrum. Watched a couple of your "traits" videos and can associate with every single sign ! Thanks so much for these videos - I don't feel like I am doing anything wrong anymore.
Well that does it....I'm autistic. I answered yes to everyone of those. I am 63. I have two autistic grand children. I have often wondered about myself. I know this is not a diagnosis but I bet if I went to the effort of seriously being diagnosed...they probably would agree. This late in the game it doesn't really matter to me. My biggest concern at the moment is trying to get out of the neighborhood barbeque next Sunday🤔
Yep 😆
Just tell them you've got autism
It's important to remember that autism is highly genetic. If you choose to get a diagnosis, it may reinforce the autistic identity of your grandchildren. The parent of those children may or may not feel pressured to look into it.. and it can skip generations. My mother never thought of autism as a possibility for my brother and I because her experience with autism was her nephew who is completely non-verbal. I was diagnosed at age 40, and she passed away when I was 43 of a brain tumor, so we really didn't have a chance to look into that... but I am sure that she was diagnosably autistic, and that the diagnosis could have helped her have greater acceptance of herself.
😂 Thanks for sharing your laughter. I’m 68. I’ve adapted in so many ways that I don’t think it would show up as a clear diagnosis.
I’ve suspected for years and my daughter’s a therapist who agrees 100%.
A very frequent habit of mine is to change clothes when I'm stressed out. Your description of not liking certain fabrics fits so well to this that it's blowing my mind
I am 67 and oh my word this resonates so strongly. Everything you say applies except food issues. I have masked with alcohol as a young woman. Lockdown was a dream. The relief I felt about not having to mix and to do things alone. I have got to the point now I am retired I spend all my time alone. I see my son and grandson who I love but even when they are here I shut myself in my room for ages. I hate holidays and any social interactions. I have upset people and alienated them. I hate new clothes and would wear same things over and over. It's just who I am. I've stopped trying to be anything else. I didn't know there was a reason or a diagnosis. I though I was just difficult.
#18: It's because autistic people use unconventional word combinations that are, often, more apropos. And because we're fundamentally honest and in a culture that relies on social lies, honesty is both shocking and refreshing.
(Or angering, triggering, as in your last example....)
“Have no filter” oops
The "no filter" is an Asperger's syndrome. Although i heard that it is now under Autism umbrella.
Can't stand it when I have been lied to especially with people who I love the damage it causes me goes very deep 🤔😉😁😡🙏😎
I tend to anger and trigger
@@raycharleson4167 what's crazy is when some time has passed and they assume you have forgot their lies.
Jumping at unexpected sounds is a biggy with me…. If the dog suddenly barks I can jump so much my butt literally leaves the seat… my partner makes me jump regularly if he just suddenly appears behind me. Doesn’t need to speak but if he does I jump so bad.
Weirdly the headphone point.. I can’t wear headphones as I feel as if someone is going to sneak up on me… makes me very nervous..
Videos like this make me really think that I have been undiagnosed all of my 63 years.. things I just thought were me being a bit ‘different’ finally make sense..
I shall be watching more for sure.
I 100% relate to everything you said!
People bust out laughing hard and very loud, when I’m having a back and forth with someone discussing some topic. I still don’t know why but they laugh harder when I’m intentionally being funny. I think it’s like you said, because I have a very dry sense of humor as well.
The other thing I hate, is when I’m thinking I am discussing a design issue/flaw with a colleague and we are going back and forth with how it should be fixed and identifying the problems with each other’s ideas until we find one that works.
Later my boss tells me I need to be more cooperative and flexible and considerate and blah blah blah when working with another engineer.
WHAT! 😮 It wasn’t an argument, fight, verbal fisticuffs it was a discussion!
I had my suspicions after my son was born (now 6) and diagnosed Autistic. After finding your channel you have solidified my theory, that I am on the Spectrum too. Watching my son grow, I see him doing all kinds of Autistic behaviours that I remember doing, being told I did, etc. I exhibit a lot of the traits outlined in this video. Thank you for raising awareness!
Same here, I also have two kids diagnosed on the spectrum.
Saaame, also had friends let me know. Even an insightful autistic person told me this.
As children, my son and daughter were diagnosed with ADD and my son was diagnosed with Asperger's. In looking at my life and watching your video, I see so many of those traits in myself. I'm 73 now and maybe I can just cut myself some slack. Also, people watching can be more fun than TV.
77 and only recently realised I am Asbergers. All makes sense now.
@@cynthiastogden7000 is an assburger made from the cheek meat or the stuff that comes out between them?
OMG I looovvve the people watching!!!!
I suspected from the time that I started working with students on the spectrum in 1994. I got them. We had so much in common.
I did get a diagnosis of ADHD that year at age 40.
My daughter is now a therapist. I asked her last year if she thought I was on the autism spectrum. Her response was, “Mom, I’m so glad you finally figured it out!”
It does explain so much.
@mariesmith8454 I agree. Sounds like they are trying to make quiet, gentle, introverted people out to be "abnormal"....I tend to see it the other way around. The phony extroverted ones seem abnormal to me. They seem to need the constant validation of others so they stand for nothing.
19 had me in hysterics, the amount of times I thought I was having a conversation, and the other person thought it was an argument!
Me toooooooo! People always think I'm being argumentative and sometimes hostile while I think we're just having a regular conversation. It literally shocks me when people say 5his and then I'll replay it all in my head over and over to think of all 5he different scenarios. I still replay/remember conversations I've had years ago and I still try to "work it out better", if that makes sense. Thanks for the video!
OMG this has for sure happened to me :)
There is a difference between talking at people to talking to people
@@comebackliza7897Talk to them not at them
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporessss I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporessss
I'm 27. I have all of these traits but am not diagnosed, but I've just learned how to work around these, and that is most comfortable for me. I also value diversity and inclusion and hope that people can just exist without being reduced to something that they're not. It's not a bad thing to have autism, and there are all different types of people. I'm glad you make these videos, and keep it up.
Behaviors aren't diagnoses
@@darrenruben2981 I am more than aware of that, and I will probably not be tested either.
Awesome
Loved when you explained having the enjoyment of observing or people watching as " Disconnecting from the world by connecting to the world" this made me tear up because I can really relate and explains exactly how it makes me feel. 🥰
Worked 30 years as a security officer at a theme park. I joked that I knew what it meant to be alone in a crowd. There were crowds of people but I was still separate from them because of what I was, a security officer. Loved people watching and helping guests, but I was still separate. Miss the job, but it became toxic.
I use my camera for this. i'm in this world but just as an observer.
... although, I personally in my lonliness almost always want other people to approach me. But being approahced by a stranger while smilingly wathcing the kids play on a playground (kids often make me relax, because they don't have the constrains the adults have) is not stressful in the way talking to a person in a large group setting is.
I've been questioning if I'm on the spectrum for a few years now, but I have to say this hit me more than most other things I've heard, because I couldn't reconcile one huge thing about myself.... I am a writer and my focus is on character more than anything, but I myself am not at all a people person. Yet I am endlessly fascinated in studying human behavior that I myself have never been a part of, nor want to be a part of. Hearing this one sign really made me interested, because now I understand this part of me isn't at odds with autism like I thought, but right in line! People compliment me on my deep, detailed characters, and are astonished how I do it when I basically have no friends and have never really done anything socially; i guess I'm just an observer
With the first few traits, there is a lot of overlap with social anxiety. In my early 20s I spent some time in indigenuous communities in rural Guatemala and was "warned" that villagers wouldn't talk to me during the first few meetings after I had been introduced, only after they felt familiar with me. It was paradise :)
Agree, I struggle with large groups and new situations. Not really anything else. Also feel drained if with people constantly for extended periods of time. Social anxiety traits.
Agreed! I have ALOT of these traits and I've been diagnosed with generalised and social anxiety disorders.
Grace, did you ever think, sometimes in a room full of assholes, it might smell like ass???
I don't have or never been diagnosed with autism. But I have most of these traits. But I have GAD a severe anxiety disorder. And Panic disorder. I have other issues too of course. I don't leave the house much. No friends because I stuggle with keeping up with relationships. I'm on disability. The world is just too loud and crowded. I sympathize with everyone with autism💙
Came for my son's symptoms, stayed for those that apply to me. I have been labeled as odd and hard to talk to most of my life. I was bullied for years. My saving grace was becoming a good listener. I am a writer and could live my life on paper, if I could. I startle (and literally scream) at unexpected loud noises. I can't handle clothing tags, either, or cashmere, angora, and, wool - all fibres drive me out of my mind. Talking is uncomfortable, too. I've had to write out even routine phone conversations since childhood. Eggs, butter and mayo disgust me to the point where I can't even look at their images in, say, an advert or magazine. Although I am a hugger - physical touch is easier than trying to think of words to say. I don't spend time on the toilet, but relish long drives. Mainly because spending a long time on the toilet caused me hemorrhoids. I hate small talk. One of the most painful expenses of my life was having to meet friends at a party, and waiting for them to arrive. I was too petrified to talk to anyone. Couldn't move. And I was dressed inappropriately, too. So maybe you all are my tribe, after all. Thanks for a great deep dive.
I HATE walking Into a room of strangers knowing I have NOTHING in common with them because of the odd life I’ve had. I dont want to talk about my life because it sounds like I’m lying and I realize how sheltered most people are. I dont want to hug people altho my daughter married Into a family of compulsive huggers and I try hard. Certain foods- grits hominy, Napoleons, hard tacos, oatmeal 🤢, can’t do it. Tags In Clothes , most shoes lol , lace,. Loud tv. Certain voices . Being exhausted after social events . Hiding in the bathroom or driving alone are heaven !!!!! I had at least 16 of these traits and have spent 74 years thinking I was a cranky bad person
@@susieries3947 I'm not much younger than you. It's never too late to embrace who you are, shame-free! Yay!
Yes,😉 we are your Tribe family, Sister M.R.E❤
@@beablooming I have not been diagnosed but it all makes sense. His dad believes he, himself, is aspie and add also but I never even knew what that was for many years. It was an ivf conception. No touch required on my part. Would I do it all again? Yes, because my son is an amazing, intelligent and kind human.
I might have a few traits myself but consider myself half autistic. I indeed hate labels. Cut the out immediately, even out of my daughters cloth! I can’t stand loud TV and grass mowers and leave blowers in summer when I sit on my balcony.
Love to sit and watch the world go by. Love to be on my own.
Large groups and even playing bridge make me feel drained.
When I arrive at friends I kiss but when I leave I just wave. Don’t feel like kissing again. I feel different from others, very difficult to form a real friendship. I also do not miss others ( probably because as a child I moved houses and countries too often and also later with my husband moved 16 times living abroad). But I am happy and always optimistic, no matter what.
That bathroom/toilet trait is ever true to me, I'd have a 30-minute or sometimes even an hour-long bath whenever most people would spend around 45-minutes MAX in a bath. It's the perfect situation to relax and purely escape.
I was diagnosed when I was 4. My parents never told me this, they just said that I was a “genius”. I grew up thinking everyone around me was suffering from social weaknesses that I didn’t have-I wasn’t afraid to be open and vulnerable, or to be outlandish and absurd for the laughs. I wasn’t popular in high school but I was notorious, and that felt good. To this day, I feel like my autism gives me a more advanced understanding of the world, because I don’t have the capacity to blindly accept social protocols, and therefore I cannot be controlled by them-I live by my own standard, not the nonsensical standard of an oppressive and ignorant status quo. It makes people feel awkward when I don’t understand something that everyone else deems socially unacceptable, but as a kid I wasn’t ashamed of it because I felt that the awkwardness that people experienced was their problem not mine. If you feel awkward just watching me do something, for a reason rooted in an arbitrary social standard that probably hasn’t existed for more than a decade, then that’s a You problem. Anyway, rant over.
@Fluffstery Fluffster They didn't say that they go out of their way to make people feel awkward, if someone i don't know wants to "dump me" over a quirk then they were probably not someone i'd get along with in the first place.
It is intersting that you describe social standards in a blanket way as “ignorant” and as “arbitrary” and for that reason see it as other people’s problem. What happens when you slap away an annoying child in the street? Or when you decide to not bother with the meeting your boss is chairing at work, but decide to sing or go out and play instead?
All of your comments make perfect sense to me, but the one thing that makes us very different is you do blindly accept being labelled as autistic by the very people you say have the problem.
Where as I am me and me alone and refuse to wear a label of any kind I am happy with me.love me or dislike me we are all unique.
As a mother of an autistic teen. I can tell you there are other traits that you may have that have not autism. For example one can be autistic and have some bully tendencies. That's a character thing more than an autistic trait. Especially if you realize you are getting away with it.
Sensitive sensory things. I’m exhausted after going out but with me it seems more like sensory overload, cities in general.
You are so real. Can really relate to most of this. You are honest, most people can’t deal with that because we’ve been lied to our entire lives about everything. You may have an analytical mind, people don’t think. They tend to run on emotions. Being alone is being in peace.
I have some of these traits, but never been diagnoised, mainly in the social context, in America. However, when I lived abroad for over 20 years, the social context was fine so some of the diagnosis is based on culture and acceptance which is not considered. So in the end, some may be diagnoised as autistic in one country and how they are is fine in others. fyi
As a non-autistic person I found this very interesting, thank you
I laughed through the whole thing because I absolutely related to 17 of the first 19. Then he got to the last one and I started crying because that's the hardest part and it really hurts. Every boss/manager I've ever had has reprimanded me because they didn't understand me and called everything my fault and I didn't even know what they were talking about.
63 and just lost my last job because i asked my boss to explain herself too many times
@@sagebryce8936 😔
@poppypottschannel Tell me you don't care about people with disabilities without telling me.
This is my autistic son….20 year old apprentice carpenter. He just commented to me he’s working on his ‘listening skills’… bless him! I hope his boss is patient- he’s a great kid, and a great worker.
What about speech? Fumbling over your words and having difficulty with words/getting words out? Also watching movies over and just never getting tired of the movie? And being clumsy!
What about playing the same song over and over?
Don't know that I am autistic, but I do resonate with several of the items you shared. Tone, being honest, not being close to people because they misunderstand me and my motives...being drained around people...sticking near those I know, being 'loyal' to my places, preferring my own safe place - home - to going out...yes a number of things. I don't feel quite so odd, there are others that feel and think as I do, even if I am not autistic...I do believe I have a number of the traits. Blessings on your journey.
This all hit so close to home I'm fighting tears. It's like, "there is somebody like me". After going through it carefully, I'd say there are probably 6 that either don't apply to me, or not any more as I've learned how to compensate for them. Thank you Orion, thank you so much.
Hi Orion, I have just been directed to your videos and I am so grateful. My son is autistic and his dad may be as well. It's so helpful to hear about autism directly.
I know this is kind of an old comment, but I always love seeing parents aware and supportive of this, my parents weren't as aware and it was difficult coping at times. I hope for the best for you.
I'm totally the same. I am 40 and half a year I realized I'm autistic. Every f'cking thing I experienced in my life suddenly got a meaning. In my whole life I felt as I am somehow off the world and other people. Now I understand and it is a huge relief to get answeres and to know other people are the same as I.
I relate 100% to all 20 traits, which I guess makes me a possible candidate. It's not like I'm shocked or I never suspected I could be on the spectrum, but it just confirms my gut feeling. I am 56 and all my life I hoped for a diagnosis, but it's impossible to even find a therapist. You walk into a clinic, you express the wish to be evaluated, you're added to an infinite waiting list, and it pretty much ends there. I've been feeling like a stranger, like I never belonged anywhere for most of my life. And quite frankly I can't complain, I am comfortable with this feeling which eventually became a strength in my development as an artist, if that makes any sense. I can say that I am socially functional but it's a lot of daily mental gymnastic, which I find exhausting. Well, thank you for those tips, I really appreciate.
Exactly
This is the first of your videos that I have watched and will be watching every single one you have. That is not a joke. I was near tears watching this one because it describes me perfectly. I didn't know until I was 40 years old that I have Aspergers. Once I found out, it explained why I was labeled "difficult" "weird" and worse. I am almost 55 now and still struggle with it every. single. day. I still cannot figure out how I am supposed to act and what I am supposed to say to make others feel good being around me. Just when I think I've found a friend that likes me, they will start avoiding me. I never know exactly what I did to cause it. Something weird I did or said? I don't know. Anyway, thank you so much for your videos. At least I know there are others out there, and those that are doing better than I am.
My son has autism and this video has helped me understand his issues around food and noises. Thank you for helping me understand him better 💕
Same here! This video is a blessing. Wishing you the very best on your journey!
My son was diagnosed because of his speech latency in toddlerhood.. didn't form a full sentence until he was nearly seven. We spent years battling what we thought was picky eating. Looking back we now know he just couldn't communicate that the consistency of all meat gave gag reflex! Now he's a teenager and the journey has become easier as his communication skills and love of veggies grows.
Loud noises, especially when stressed: YES, YES, YES!!! They even reverberate through my brain with a sound a bit like scrunching up paper, but it's just as loud to me as the initial noise that created the reverberation in the first place. The initial noise is bad enough, but the reverberation is like an exclamation mark (if not, full capitalisation and several exclamation marks). So far, I've found nobody who seems to understand it. People who I say it to look at me and seem confused, as if I've spoken to them in Martian or something. However, to me, it's a major cause of disregulation. At work, I wear earbuds most of the time, and people think I'm always listening to something, but more often than not, I'm not listening to anything at all - the ear buds are just there, cutting down the distracting noises and general chit-chat.
Hi Orion, I diagnosed at 48 and now at 58 I find your channel..your insights are sooo useful and clarifying. For me though, when I watch world/people tv I feel utterly disconnected. The feeling of being an alien that has recently landed and has yet to discover what moves these creatures I am looking at is one of the worst sensations imaginable for me. “I am not going to understand-fit in-do as they do, so why not leave..”
Thanks for explaning so much.(so you know; I am not going anywhere. My wife/savior keeps me firmly planted and safe from most threats😌
I‘ve recently turned 40 and am not officially diagnosed, but I can say that of all the mentioned traits I can relate to (or exhibit) all 20 of them. Some less pronounced than others, but still. There are way more traits that I exhibit though - stimming being just one example… I‘ve suspected that I might be autistic for at least a decade or even longer and the older I get and the more information about autism I amass the more convinced I am that I am indeed autistic but am constantly and heavily masking and have been since my early school days. I’ve got a some aquaintances and friends that are officially diagnosed and I totally get how they think and we’ve got so many things in common that I didn’t share with any other people ß it’s kinda scary. Autism may run in my family thogh. I‘ve got this one male cousin that is totally what the world sees as a „typical“ autistic person, but as we are both children of the 1980s (and I was born female) we weren‘t diagnosed because back then nobody wanted even the slightest part in having an autistic child. We were just „shy“ and „quirky“… you get the gist. In retrospective though… yeah, we totally showed the signs.
And… another trait… oversharing… yep, I did it again! Sorry… or not really. ;)
I suspect the trades generalist at my job, has autism but was diagnosed he does fit most of the traits for autism, and squints uncomfortably when he talks, and doesn't seem comfortable with eye contact either
I am pretty certain that most of my extended family has autism.
I really think humans have autism in general and we all just mask. Perhaps the entire teaching strategy as a whole needs some reworking to accommodate the human race without the mask.
I prefer making love to black chicks, and Mexicans ❤️
They labeled my son ADD - that is what every kid got back in the 80s.
Another one I commonly struggle with is I developed a lot of social anxiety that's become debilitating. Fear of being judged or rejected for being too "weird", for not picking up nonverbal ques or knowing how to respond appropriately or being too slow etc, and seemingly a lack of emotion or empathy towards other people (at least that's what they perceive of me standing staring blankly in the corner, while I'm trying really hard not to cry and embarrassing myself in front of them).
But in reality I DO have very strong emotions and empathy (so much so they can be so overwhelming and physically painful and cause meltdowns or shutdowns because the world is way too over stimulating and it's hard to cope with).
It's a struggle when people don't take you seriously about your difficulties because our brains are just so different, yet they expect us to "suck it up" and "get on with it" because it's not difficult for them. So in reality there's were the lack of empathy really lies I think.
Ive been accused of being unfeeling. 1 guy even told me once, that ppl like me dont have any feeling, so he could say anything to me, be a mean as he liked, coz I didnt feel it anyway....
But like u say, its not, that we dont have the feeling. Its that the feelings are overwhelming. Like when I was 14, my beloved grandmother died, whom I was very close to, and all the adults were praising me on how well I handled it. But I wasnt handling it at all, I was screaming with pain on the inside, I was literally frozen with grief. But coz I didnt express it like neuro-typical ppl, nobody saw it. The only way, I can handle my emotions, is by shutting them into mental boxes and dealing with bits at the time, and so apparently I come off as unfeeling, when Im just trying to survive without being completely overwhelmed.
Another idiotic thing, Ive been told, is, that not going into total breakdown and crying and screaming at a serious car crash means, that I dont care about the ppl hurt. While that moron did nothing help and in fact hindered with her tantrum, I did my best to shut off my feelings and do, what needed to be done. And then afterwards the reaction came, and I was hyperventilating and shaking all over, which I was told was a normal reaction to extreme levels of adrenalin. But all, I could think at that morons remark, was, if thats how every1 was supposed to act with her selfish wailing to "show empathy", how would first responders ever manage? How many ppl would die, while ppl like her showed "empathy" by throwing a wailing tantrum and not helping them, how many fires would not get put out etc.
But while u can explain that to some neuro-typical ppl, Ive learned simply to keep my autism to myself, coz in my experience u cant explain to 99/100, they have their prejudices, and they have no wish to change their state of ignorance, they just want to feel superior and treat us like subhumans incapable of feelings and normal functions.
So yeah, I absolutely agree, we're not the 1s lacking empathy, they are. So much so, that I cant mention my autism to any1, coz they would immidiately start treatment me like a drooling imbecil. Even without mentioning my diagnosis, Ive gotten enough "advice" on how I should act and how I should live to last me 50 lifetimes, given by ppl, who knows nothing about me and my struggles, and who have zero empathy for me, coz they arent interesting at all in listening to, what my problem(s) might be, they just want to sermonize about their solution to life based on their situation and feel good about "helping".
Nothing is as it seems. The whole thing is a pantomime. Most people you meet are playing a character in a play. It gets easier with age. You eventually start seeing through all that BS. I only recently decided to walk off that stage, stopped trying to be someone I'm not. Still working on it, of course, but the stress relief and confidence boost that comes from accepting who you really are cannot be underestimated. You'll go from standing in a corner to someone elevated above the self. That intense debilitating inward focus becomes redirected outward, where perhaps for the first time in your life, you start noticing the fears and insecurities written on the faces of just about everyone you meet, and as result, you start becoming increasingly empathic towards them in a positive way. Everyone is a weirdo silently crying out for help, so go easy on yourself.
@@piggypiggypig1746 well said ❤️
For sure, and when I hear somebody saying that autistic don't have empathy, my knee-jerk reaction is "empathy is a two-way street, ya know!"
📜👁️👁️📜
I've never been diagnosed with autism but I definitely relate to it a lot, especially the social aspect. I don't really startle easy unless it's unexpected movement. The other day a mouse ran across my living room and I just saw it in the corner of my eye and my heart nearly exploded lol which is considerably disproportionate
Good tip for tags - Seam ripper. Perfect removal of the tag, nice and smooth.
So much of this is relatable, and the one about other people not understanding you made me cry because it hit so hard. I like to present myself online because I can practice and redo and edit until it’s “right”, but in person I have a hard time socializing and making friends because it’s so confusing and I feel like I’m wrong somehow. Not speaking the same social language, maybe, and my timing is always off. I’m nice and polite, and maybe it seems like I’m trying too hard. I’m sensitive and know when what I’m doing isn’t working, and it’s easier just to not try. If I could just chain myself to my safe person at social events, I would. I’m good enough at faking it that people would laugh if I mentioned relating to this content (as they did before and even after my ADHD diagnosis), but thank you for making me think about it.
I agree on the ability to edit online. This is probably why I became a writer at a young age... I can express all the real thoughts and feelings I have the way I really think and feel them, unlike when I'm talking.
Professionalism is being respectful and kind despite your feelings towards people that you have to interact with or despite the mood you are in that day.
I want to thank you for telling my life without us ever speaking. I am 51 and have been called weird and isolated from others. I will be bringing this up with my doctor. I have shared this with my family. Thank you.
Son was diagnosed at 8. At 27 still is trying to fit in within the social world. Great job, educated but socially really insecure. Living 1800 miles away from him is difficult too. Thank you for the site
Where can an adult get diagnosed? Where is there a specialist we can go to? I am in Arizona.
@@davisholman8149 Start with your local GP, someone you're comfortable with. Your doc can more than likely refer you to someone in the area.
WOW! this explains a LOT about my Cousin W and sibling "KR" because they impress people as CONDESCENDING & argue 24-7!
@@carolnahigian9518 my dad was constantly arguing with neighbours the last 10 years of his life. I think at some point he didn’t reeeally f care about what they think of him. The point was to show them that people like us see social interactions and some ways of thinking disturbing and annoying… May he rest in peace..❤
At least you are still in contact with your autistic son. Our son doesn't answer our calls or texts. We don't know if he's working or where he lives.
A LOT of these hit home for me, and I feel like they have gotten worse over time. Sensory defensiveness (tags, fabric, clothes feeling wrong, lights too bright, too much noise, the ‘wrong kind of noise’) are a daily struggle for me. Thankfully I have a workplace where I can close an office door, use a lamp instead of overhead lights, and play music or a podcast while I work. I never thought about the store thing, but it’s is so true. I also order one thing at each restaurant I go to, and if I have to go to a party, I find the pets or find a ‘home base’ location where I can have little side conversations with a person or to if I have to. People describe me as rigid. I hate deviation.
About 6 months ago I came across some mention of autism and didnt really know what it was so I looked it up and noted that I might be ticking off a lot of boxes. Shyness, uncomfortability with direct eye contact, speaking to people I dont know really well, sleep disturbance, preference for aloneness most of the time, not necessarily because I didnt want to be around people, more that I wanted to observe the group but not so much interact and God forbid something should happen that would make me the center of attention, RUN, same clothes, same foods, but a lot of other symptoms are not there like the obsession with putting things in order, strict routines. I decided no that's not me.
Well I came across this guy who worked for Microsoft for years, now retired and doing a youtube channel, I think many will know who Im talking about. Well he does come across a little different but not so different to seem off and he excels at his job. It wasnt till that moment that the idea of well compensated, well coped, or however you want to say it, they figured out how to manage those behavioral anomolies to prevent others from noticing so much. Saw something today that made me revisit this possibility to see if maybe I am somewhere along that spectrum. I'm really wondering now.
Another member here mentioned, what point would there be to seeking a formal diagnosis beyond midlife? Too late to make much of a meaningful difference in my life if I did successfully learn better ways to interact with others, (glad I caught the typo in the preceeding word!)
The die is cast, no replaying that huge block of life that has passed and may not be repeated.
Maybe a bunch of autistics should get together and form their own subculture, then when some person comes it that isnt, they are the odd one who has trouble getting the point across, feel rejected cause nobody will look them in the eye and disappointed that they are never given a microphone and and put under the spotlight to address the whole group. Sorry I went on so long, typical. Thanks to all who have shared a bit of their own story to help others understand.
I was diagnosed with ADHD this year and I was quite surprised with the overlap of traits like this but also the symptoms as well!
It has been suggested by psychologists that ADHD is also on the autism spectrum, like Asperger's is also now considered on the spectrum - just differences
ADHD is a lack of dopamine in parts of the brain, ASD is Oxytocin lacking in parts of the brain.
I relate to every single one of these. I have been wondering for the past year or two if I might be on the spectrum. I am 29 y/o and honestly a diagnosis would be a huge relief. I have ALWAYS known that I’m different but mostly thought it was just depression and anxiety. Now that I’m doing more research, I think I’m on the spectrum and everything is really starting to click. It makes me want to cry happy tears.
Emily,I'm happy to know you are doing research to help yourself. The beauty of it all is thst you are still young and have so much going for you. Not only that but by knowing as much as you can about you and others, you may be able to help others cope with their similar situation.
WOW 16/20 for me and I am so struck by the overlap with cPTSD. This is what I’ve been dx with. Seems trauma responses look a lot like high functioning autism. Thanks for this awesome video. ❤
or autism makes you more sensitive to traumatic events and increase chances of getting cptsd. so a lot of cptsd peoe have autism too, so the symptoms may not be because of the trauma.
@@emilwandel you are exactly right. 💜Since this post I’ve taken several assessments and have discovered I am definitely on the spectrum. 100% probability is what my results read. The Autism Quotient, Read my Mind through My Eyes, Aspberger’s Inventory and one other I forgot the name of. Sounds weird but I am so happy to learn this. My entire life snapped into place when I took the Autism Quotient assessment. I really understand the sentiment that Autism saved Orion’s life. I feel like it’s going to help do the same for me. I have been perpetually burned out with executive functioning resembling an EKG my entire life (up, down, up, down…) I’m awaiting a formal neuropsych assessment for an official diagnosis so that I can use the results to help capitalize on my strengths and ask for support in areas I’m weakest. The burnout has been the hardest to manage. It stops me from having a full life. I’m hoping to get better help through therapy now, and also, I’m so incredibly happy for this community. This channel is invaluable and the people here are so nice. 😭😭😭
Many of us have CPTSD because of a lifetime of trauma from how the world treats us in a negative way
Yes I have both..... God bless you all brothers and sisters
Yeah I got diagnosed at 57, I was in therapy for over a decade for C-PTSD, and shrinks called me all sorts of other things too.
Now it's good. Support and treatment for the C-PTSD and autism. I'm loving my life right now.
It’s so true I dislike hugging anything with contact , I dislike loud noises and to much brightness , I don’t like when people chew with there mouth open and make that cringy noise 😆 I replay a conversation even after I finish the conversation I’m replaying it like what should I have said etc
As an INFJ and someone suffering from PTSD due to certain lifetime traumas and currently dealing with a brain injury, I can relate to quite a few of these cross-over traits. I don't think I'm autistic but I have found this very helpful to understand the similarities. Thank you for explaining this to me 🙂👍
YES!! As an INFJ, I also found many similarities...just another reason for everyone to call INFJs weird, eh?
C-PTSD is highly similar to autism. Plus, many autistic adults have PTSD thanks to being raised in a world which traumatizes autistics. Many folks struggle to sort out whether they have Autism or PTSD. Sometimes it's not autism at all and sometimes it's both 💁🏻♀️
I'm both an INFJ *and* an Aspie (a double-whammy, lucky me), so I do relate (occasionally "Big Time") between the two as to regarding some of their alike bg's.
I am infj too and I think I suffer from stress and ptsd to over thinking and fearing the unknowns. I know many autistic people can be very social but lack boundaries and personal space and that's not me at all. I just suffer from stress and anxiety which causes me hide and heal and avoid any more stress that I can by shutting off myself off from the world .
you would be surprised on the overlap between autism, experiences of trauma ( and diagnosis of ptsd ) and being and infj. they're more linked than you might realize, it's not always separate
You are a natural presenter/ instructor. Thank you for helping in educating all of us...because knowledge and awareness are key to removing stigma and isolation.
The bathroom thing lol. I have ADHD, too, and so I’m either enjoying alone time or spacing out lost in thought and totally lose track of time.
I never considered that one! In my bathroom, the toilet is in a tiny separate room. I have a stack of reading material and puzzle books in there, and sometimes I stay in there much longer than I mean to. Doing word puzzles like cryptograms are calming for me, better than anti-anxiety meds.
Love your approach! I have been wondering about meltdowns. I am someone diagnosed with anxiety. I have had panic attacks anxiety or panic after something scary has happened, like a loud noise or someone talking too loud. But, I have had moments when things don't feel right. I thought my blood sugar was low and I've eaten a meal, but the feeling is still there. Its really unsettling. Like a wrech or some sort.
Also, I went to a restaurant with a friend. One I've never been to and wanted to make jokes with my friend. Suddenly I couldn't focus my eyes. The lights were bright. There were a lot of colors as it was a Latino restaurant. I felt really lost. I pulled it together and faked it. Then on my way home I started breathing so heavily. I thought it was panic. But panic makes me tremble. There was no tremble. I went to take claritin. I don't know why, but I opened the bottle in the store and continued breathing heavily. I've also had a few times when I've had to call that friend and just ask him to stay on the phone with me while I try to breathe.
Something tnat might be added is that there have also been times in my past when I've had, echolalia, I think its called. I couldn't stop calling my sister a name. But, I only felt discomfort. I didn't mean it, I just couldn't stop. Of course I lost friends that day.
I have been diagnosed manic depressive with ADD for the last decade. I'm in my 40s. I'm not looking for a diagnosis. I just want to know what a meltdown is.
Was so happy when someone mentioned peas ! Absolutely HATE peas and was force fed them until I was 14 - my mother gave up after that because I kept gagging . I’m in my 50s now , and she still asks occasionally whether I still hate them .
And social gatherings are good if a)you can help in the kitchen - gives you something to do ; b) find an animal;c) find someone with an Interest in your special interest and talk to them . A glass of alcohol helps 😊
The very smell of boiling peas is nauseous to me, especially garden peas ..the taste? I would instantly vomit.
Omg! About social gatherings: 100%
Peas smell like fungus and rot to me (sorry, pea lovers....) I won't say what they REALLY remind me of.
Why would anybody even care whether you eat peas or not? There are plenty of much more attractive vegetables that provide adequate nutrition. That's just perverse.
@Echo With me, it’s lima beans-I just CANNOT get past the mouthfeel of them! They have an almost gritty mouthfeel no matter how they’re cooked, and it’s absolutely disgusting to me!
Now I understand why my brother hated peas so much!
Been listening through your podcast over the past few months while doing my driving job and I have my screening for autism this week, found you very relatable and I feel that you've helped me on my journey of autistic self discovery. Nice to put a face to the voice and thank you for all the work you've done so far. Keep it up, it's still helping people.
Oh.....yes.....I can totally relate. I have an autistic husband and.... I actually have some of these qualities. I don't know if I'm autistic, but I know I feel comfortable with autistic people....I have all my life. I actually welcome their honesty and truth. Thanks for sharing this great video. You seem like a very nice person.
I'm extremely noise sensitive and I resonate so hard with feeling angry about sounds that should be ordinary. My other big trigger point is I can't stand clothing touching my wrists or my neck. I can't wear regular dress clothes even something made of lovely silk if I have to wear the sleeves down and the collar buttoned up. Don't even ask me to wear a necktie. I got married without one.
Your video is informative and relatable. However, as a professional, I label myself as a highly functional Autistic Adult. Over the last decade, I have encountered many children with autism. And as I become more knowledgeable of it, I find myself on the spectrum in multiple areas. Unfortunately, during my adolescence I was never diagnosed. So we are not alone, and trust it is more common than society knows. May God bless you, us and others that there is help available if needed. 🙏