Asking if humans are polyamorous is like asking 'are humans homosexual in nature?' Some are and some aren't. I have NEVER had a desire for multiple romantic relationships. I think of monogamy and polyamory as more of a spectrum than a binary one or the other. I'm not 100% monogamous, but I am also not polyamorous. Monogamish maybe?
I see humans as beings who innately have free will. We can choose where we put our focus. We can put it on many people or one person, or even nobody. In a multitude of ways. We can see the world as the people who taught us, or we can make it up as we go along. Or we can eternally dig inside of ourselves and see what is the most true to us at any moment.
I imagine the time to be polyamorous would be before having children. I barely have the energy for a romantic life with my husband now that we have three children and work full time. Exhausted all the time. 😴
Thank you for being so authentically yourself and for taking us along with you on your journey all these years, Brittany. I have learned from you and have grown as a person watching you. Thank you. ❤❤❤
Brittany, there exist people especially on the demisexual spectrum who don't feel romantic or sexual attraction to others once in love with their partner, I am one of them, this is not something I can change about myself, though times I have definitely tried, and I have met others like me. I feel this video somewhat implies that what I feel is unnatural, since it's a vast generalization of a whole species instead of the recognition of the variety of human emotions and incredibly different but equally valid ways of being within our species..
I don’t get it, you are talking a lot, but it doesn’t seem like you are polyamorous at all. I mean open communication is great, but don’t pretend to be in a polyamorous relationship when you’re not. Not that there is anything wrong with being monogamous (or polyamorous). But there is something wrong with not being honest. As far as I know, you are monogamous, and Conner is also monogamous, he is even married now..
It seems like she wants to make content like before but none of them are poly anymore which is fine... I agree just be honest... It felt all over place talking
My partner is the same, he is monogamous with me but really doesn't want to say it's monogamy and kind of doesn't want to lable anything because he thinks it's not possible somehow. I think it goes the same way as Brittany avoiding saying it because she feels people (she) are innately polyamorous so there is no place where she would be fully monogamous. My partner even said that he does not believe there is anybody who can honestly say they are monogamous because they have crushes. I asked well how about these people who were 30 years monogamous? They were not monogamous because they had crush on someone? That's just stupid. I think this is bs and I definitely think we are monogamous with my partner and I'm not available for any less. My partner wants to talk about his crushes to me and I've been this "no no" person, because I don't see a reason to share about all your crushes. But clearly for some people it's important to talk how they are attracted to someone. So now I try to listen my partner sharing about his crushes. I can see so much of my partner in Brittany and I don't like it :D I also started my relationship with my partner in open relationship because I thought it's how I should do.. because it was trendy and Connor and Brittany were selling it so well. After 2 years of emotional drama and hurts I know I have no interest for open relationships.
I think it's more accurate to think of polyamory as a life philosophy, rather than just a label on a specific relationship. Besides, who knows how those so-called "monogamous" relationships will evolve in the future. I thought it was a great video.
@@dantb9695 I strongly disagree. Labels have meanings. If you’re monogamous, you are only with one person. If you’re polyamorous, you are, or at least can be with multiple people at the same time. You can of course always change your relationship over time. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a monogamous relationship if you both wanted to be “exclusive” with each other. And nobody is forced to use labels, if you don’t want to use labels, don’t. But if you are going to use labels, it’s weird to say you’re polyamorous, when in reality you’re literally just monogamous, not even in an open relationship.
@@notoriouspomegranate5612 Ah guess we're not on the same page at all. I see polyamory as loving many people throughout your life with potential overlaps. Presumably they still love eachother despite not being in a romantic relationship anymore. IMO the problem with trying to follow labels religiously is that the lines are very blurry - if you're in a poly relationship but it just so happens that this particular week or month, neither of you go on dates or have sex with anyone else, would you call their relationship monogamous? Or is the poly label more that it represents whether they "could" do that stuff?
I have recently come to realize I am polyamorous. I am capable of being in love with multiple people at one time. This year, I entered a polyamorous relationship and it has been hard to come out. Polyamory is such a taboo subject and many people view polyamory as inherently amoral. Hearing you talk so lovingly and openly about these topics heals me. It gives me hope that someday I can be as articulate about my experience. Thank you so much for your bravery in sharing your story.
I've never been attracted to more than one man at a time. I've been married almost 19 years at this point and want no one but my husband. I believe that ultimately the poly lifestyle will leave you feeling empty and unfulfilled. Hence, Connor has found one woman and is happier than I have ever seen him.
Sure, that may be true in his case, but the process of getting to that was the important part. He learned so much about healthy relationships since polyamory requires complete trust and open communication. Armed with that knowledge, you're much more likely to find a person who you vibe with perfectly
When it comes to polyamory, the question I am most curious about is, What if your beloved partner is connecting with someone that you personally don't like for whatever reason? Have you experienced that? I feel like if your partner is connecting with somebody else (sexually or not), they would carry their energy somehow to your relationship. I imagine you are in SOME relationship with that person whether you want to be in it or not.
This is something that I've navigated, and I think it depends on why I don't like them. If, for example, the person they're connecting with is a bigoted racist, that would be a hard boundary and I would remove myself from the situation. On the other hand, if it were something minor and we just didn't get along, I'd express that I'm not interested in hanging out with that person and would keep my distance. Either way, talking about it is key!
I am always astounded at how people avoid the opportunity to dive into healing jealousy, as though jealousy is an acceptable insecurity. Poly won't find it's time until we are ready to self explore. I feel like humanity is naturally poly, but emotionally we are not ready for it. Time will tell. Bring on the new earth.
Monogamous means having one singular love. Brittany shares that she is polyamorous meaning she has the ability to love many. Maybe what you are hearing is that she is in a singular partnership with open communication. She might have other types of relationships (romantic, friendship, sexual) that she doesn't consider "partnerships". For now anyway, as she shared, its a particular place she is in with where her energy and time is being spent.
Can you explain. Is she talking in general like are all humans innately poly or about herself. It’s difficult to understand them with all the filler talk and circular logic.
I love how this sharing just flowed from you and how you zoom out and look at all the different experiences and aspects of your expressions over time and then so beautifully ground it into the now. Its been a joy watching what you have shared over the years ( i first discovered your sharing when you were working on your camper!) and seeing you do your best to be authentic all along the way, no matter how much changed over time. ❤
I really loved the way you shared your experience Brittany. And I love your energy. Gave me a lot hope because my story is so similar to yours. I stumbled upon polyamory last year not because of the idea but like you I found it hard restrict my love for my current partner only . Initially, I thought it was wrong to have such desires (when I went through a heartbreak after my marriage last year and had it shared with my current partner everything I went through ). So I suppressed, denied and avoided, but I couldn’t and had to face it (especially in the South Asian Muslim context, where monogamy is a the standard). But since I started healing from sexual shame I beginning to own this aspect of me that has the capacity like you to love multiple people (of course not sex). Thank you for this. Such a relief to find you . I’m very open to connect with likeminded people to discuss poly related topics.
Are you having open relationships now when you are in love with your girl? Is opening relationships nothing else than not being fully in love with person with who you are with?
Lucy Cooke and Wednesday Martin and many other feminist scientists are blowing the doors off the the biological/anthropological myths of monogamy in the animal kingdom. But basically they say that we are flexible socially. Different religions, social structures, governments, philosophies etc. You’re correct that multiplicity is our nature.
Do you miss the romantic connection with Conor? It seems like the romantic side of your partnership had to come to a hard stop to accommodate Flora's needs. I just wonder if that feels like a loss.
I've been feeling this big time. I highly suggest Anna: the grandmother of Jesus its soooo good and shares how many of there essene and druid communities were poly by nature and chrust actual had many lovers lol wild but hey its so possible while others kept monogamous relations but eventual ended up with other lovers too of corse but yeah super good read even if treated like a fantasy novel 😊
Poly is tricky. All involved within a group have to have a mentality of, "play no favorites and if you do, make sure they understand why and accept it". This is a very hard thing to rationalize for many people. We are designed to believe we are someone's favorite or only soulmate but struggle to accept it when we aren't. Men are seed spreaders, always were, always will be. Women are not and this is just one of the things that women should not try and be like men in. It's nature's design for a reason.
Asking if humans are polyamorous is like asking 'are humans homosexual in nature?' Some are and some aren't. I have NEVER had a desire for multiple romantic relationships. I think of monogamy and polyamory as more of a spectrum than a binary one or the other. I'm not 100% monogamous, but I am also not polyamorous. Monogamish maybe?
This!
I see humans as beings who innately have free will. We can choose where we put our focus. We can put it on many people or one person, or even nobody. In a multitude of ways.
We can see the world as the people who taught us, or we can make it up as we go along. Or we can eternally dig inside of ourselves and see what is the most true to us at any moment.
Agreed ❤️
This is beautifully said
I imagine the time to be polyamorous would be before having children. I barely have the energy for a romantic life with my husband now that we have three children and work full time. Exhausted all the time. 😴
We get that! 😊
Have kids and my wife and I are still poly. It's work but we are both very happy 😊
@@codecmgsthat’s encouraging to hear!
Thank you for being so authentically yourself and for taking us along with you on your journey all these years, Brittany. I have learned from you and have grown as a person watching you. Thank you. ❤❤❤
So honored 🥰
Brittany, there exist people especially on the demisexual spectrum who don't feel romantic or sexual attraction to others once in love with their partner, I am one of them, this is not something I can change about myself, though times I have definitely tried, and I have met others like me. I feel this video somewhat implies that what I feel is unnatural, since it's a vast generalization of a whole species instead of the recognition of the variety of human emotions and incredibly different but equally valid ways of being within our species..
I don’t get it, you are talking a lot, but it doesn’t seem like you are polyamorous at all. I mean open communication is great, but don’t pretend to be in a polyamorous relationship when you’re not. Not that there is anything wrong with being monogamous (or polyamorous). But there is something wrong with not being honest. As far as I know, you are monogamous, and Conner is also monogamous, he is even married now..
It seems like she wants to make content like before but none of them are poly anymore which is fine... I agree just be honest... It felt all over place talking
My partner is the same, he is monogamous with me but really doesn't want to say it's monogamy and kind of doesn't want to lable anything because he thinks it's not possible somehow. I think it goes the same way as Brittany avoiding saying it because she feels people (she) are innately polyamorous so there is no place where she would be fully monogamous. My partner even said that he does not believe there is anybody who can honestly say they are monogamous because they have crushes. I asked well how about these people who were 30 years monogamous? They were not monogamous because they had crush on someone? That's just stupid.
I think this is bs and I definitely think we are monogamous with my partner and I'm not available for any less.
My partner wants to talk about his crushes to me and I've been this "no no" person, because I don't see a reason to share about all your crushes. But clearly for some people it's important to talk how they are attracted to someone. So now I try to listen my partner sharing about his crushes.
I can see so much of my partner in Brittany and I don't like it :D
I also started my relationship with my partner in open relationship because I thought it's how I should do.. because it was trendy and Connor and Brittany were selling it so well. After 2 years of emotional drama and hurts I know I have no interest for open relationships.
I think it's more accurate to think of polyamory as a life philosophy, rather than just a label on a specific relationship. Besides, who knows how those so-called "monogamous" relationships will evolve in the future.
I thought it was a great video.
@@dantb9695 I strongly disagree. Labels have meanings. If you’re monogamous, you are only with one person. If you’re polyamorous, you are, or at least can be with multiple people at the same time.
You can of course always change your relationship over time. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a monogamous relationship if you both wanted to be “exclusive” with each other.
And nobody is forced to use labels, if you don’t want to use labels, don’t. But if you are going to use labels, it’s weird to say you’re polyamorous, when in reality you’re literally just monogamous, not even in an open relationship.
@@notoriouspomegranate5612 Ah guess we're not on the same page at all. I see polyamory as loving many people throughout your life with potential overlaps. Presumably they still love eachother despite not being in a romantic relationship anymore.
IMO the problem with trying to follow labels religiously is that the lines are very blurry - if you're in a poly relationship but it just so happens that this particular week or month, neither of you go on dates or have sex with anyone else, would you call their relationship monogamous? Or is the poly label more that it represents whether they "could" do that stuff?
I have recently come to realize I am polyamorous. I am capable of being in love with multiple people at one time. This year, I entered a polyamorous relationship and it has been hard to come out. Polyamory is such a taboo subject and many people view polyamory as inherently amoral. Hearing you talk so lovingly and openly about these topics heals me. It gives me hope that someday I can be as articulate about my experience. Thank you so much for your bravery in sharing your story.
So much love to you 💞
I've never been attracted to more than one man at a time. I've been married almost 19 years at this point and want no one but my husband. I believe that ultimately the poly lifestyle will leave you feeling empty and unfulfilled. Hence, Connor has found one woman and is happier than I have ever seen him.
Absolutely agree with this
Sure, that may be true in his case, but the process of getting to that was the important part. He learned so much about healthy relationships since polyamory requires complete trust and open communication. Armed with that knowledge, you're much more likely to find a person who you vibe with perfectly
When it comes to polyamory, the question I am most curious about is, What if your beloved partner is connecting with someone that you personally don't like for whatever reason? Have you experienced that? I feel like if your partner is connecting with somebody else (sexually or not), they would carry their energy somehow to your relationship. I imagine you are in SOME relationship with that person whether you want to be in it or not.
This is something that I've navigated, and I think it depends on why I don't like them. If, for example, the person they're connecting with is a bigoted racist, that would be a hard boundary and I would remove myself from the situation. On the other hand, if it were something minor and we just didn't get along, I'd express that I'm not interested in hanging out with that person and would keep my distance. Either way, talking about it is key!
@@brylaw Thank you for your answer.
We love this question! And we've made on video on the topic that might interest you: ruclips.net/video/YqkwRlyau7c/видео.html
@@conorandbrittany Thank you! It's an amazing video!
I am always astounded at how people avoid the opportunity to dive into healing jealousy, as though jealousy is an acceptable insecurity. Poly won't find it's time until we are ready to self explore. I feel like humanity is naturally poly, but emotionally we are not ready for it. Time will tell. Bring on the new earth.
So youre monogamous with open communication. Got it.
Monogamous means having one singular love. Brittany shares that she is polyamorous meaning she has the ability to love many. Maybe what you are hearing is that she is in a singular partnership with open communication. She might have other types of relationships (romantic, friendship, sexual) that she doesn't consider "partnerships". For now anyway, as she shared, its a particular place she is in with where her energy and time is being spent.
Can you explain. Is she talking in general like are all humans innately poly or about herself. It’s difficult to understand them with all the filler talk and circular logic.
@@maraedriley6794is Bridget the same way as well?
It's same same but just in a roundabout kinda of way of explaining it.
Lots of work ahead.
She looks hurt.
All those "lovers" and to what end? Connor has fallen deeply in love with one woman.
Love this video. Also miss you and hope you’re doing well
Good morning Brittany have a great day thanks for the new video
I love how this sharing just flowed from you and how you zoom out and look at all the different experiences and aspects of your expressions over time and then so beautifully ground it into the now. Its been a joy watching what you have shared over the years ( i first discovered your sharing when you were working on your camper!) and seeing you do your best to be authentic all along the way, no matter how much changed over time. ❤
I really loved the way you shared your experience Brittany. And I love your energy. Gave me a lot hope because my story is so similar to yours. I stumbled upon polyamory last year not because of the idea but like you I found it hard restrict my love for my current partner only . Initially, I thought it was wrong to have such desires (when I went through a heartbreak after my marriage last year and had it shared with my current partner everything I went through ). So I suppressed, denied and avoided, but I couldn’t and had to face it (especially in the South Asian Muslim context, where monogamy is a the standard). But since I started healing from sexual shame I beginning to own this aspect of me that has the capacity like you to love multiple people (of course not sex). Thank you for this. Such a relief to find you . I’m very open to connect with likeminded people to discuss poly related topics.
Thanks for this beautiful share ❤️
Are you having open relationships now when you are in love with your girl?
Is opening relationships nothing else than not being fully in love with person with who you are with?
Lucy Cooke and Wednesday Martin and many other feminist scientists are blowing the doors off the the biological/anthropological myths of monogamy in the animal kingdom.
But basically they say that we are flexible socially. Different religions, social structures, governments, philosophies etc.
You’re correct that multiplicity is our nature.
Any book recommendations?🙏
Do you miss the romantic connection with Conor? It seems like the romantic side of your partnership had to come to a hard stop to accommodate Flora's needs. I just wonder if that feels like a loss.
There are many monogamous species but lobsters are not one.
Hehe I could be wrong 😄
Your intentional speaking has really become innate. So proud of you! I wish we were friends : ) Also your deltoids are fucking beautiful.
☺️☺️☺️ love you!
I've been feeling this big time. I highly suggest Anna: the grandmother of Jesus its soooo good and shares how many of there essene and druid communities were poly by nature and chrust actual had many lovers lol wild but hey its so possible while others kept monogamous relations but eventual ended up with other lovers too of corse but yeah super good read even if treated like a fantasy novel 😊
Thanks for the recommendation! Added it to my kindle
❤
Poly is tricky. All involved within a group have to have a mentality of, "play no favorites and if you do, make sure they understand why and accept it". This is a very hard thing to rationalize for many people. We are designed to believe we are someone's favorite or only soulmate but struggle to accept it when we aren't. Men are seed spreaders, always were, always will be. Women are not and this is just one of the things that women should not try and be like men in. It's nature's design for a reason.
I just got into a poly relationship