The self awareness part is so hard! Even after years of therapy and journaling and polyam, sometimes I still get hit with expectations I didn't even know I had. 😅It's an ongoing journey and I'm grateful y'all have been a part of it from the beginning.
C&B, thanks a million for sharing what polyamory entails. To often the poly lifestyle is sensationalized as a “free for all” but the community of people that identify w/ CNM relationships see it more personally. I didn’t realized that until today and I thank you for correcting that myth.
No one ever give tips or experiences from the secondary perspective. I feel like it’s really hard because everything is from the main couples perspective which I feel just makes you feel even more irrelevant because your the option and then you don’t even rate to have people speak about your experiences or give you tips
Thank you SO much for everything. My partner and I have been monogamous for 6 years and we recently opened our relationship (it was my request, and he "adjusted" to it - now he is very much on board). Your content has helped me so much throughout this journey... I do have one question though, how do you deal with your partner getting to know someone (and being very excited about it) when you don't have anyone yourself? Should you let your partner experience this? I envy that my partner has found someone and I haven't. I want him to be happy but I don't want to break in the process. Do you have any advice for me on that? Much love ❤
Have you done a video on how to talk to a new person about you currently being in a poly/open relationship and having a committed partner?? Do you tell people when you first meet them? If you did this type a video could you link me to it. Thanks for your steady commitment to evolving communication around relationship.
This video came across me. Very informative. I'm not interested in polyamory for myself, but it is something I'd like to research for authenticity of a story I'm working on. Thank you for making it.
My self awareness was a driving factor of why I became interested in polyamory and I’m looking at it from a standpoint of I want a big family not as I want to be with multiple people at the same time I want a family with 2 people that’s about all I know I can handle And from my limited knowledge of polyamory and the lifestyle itself you have to be very mature and realistic in your outlook on it just from my current knowledge a closed triad is probably best for me because it enables me to still be able to give all I can to my partners without burning myself out but still go above and beyond for them
I would love to read a book about polyamory from you two! I hope you're planning on writing one if you haven't already. I'm a follower for years now and I really enjoy your content.
Self-awareness and a high emotional intelligence are essential. My wife and I both have CPTSD, have just begun our journey into this, and are in couples' therapy as well as individual. I can't imagine this as even doable were we not taking care of ourselves. (Especially since victims of traumatic childhood can have terrible radars about who is a healthy partner vs who isn't.)
I also have CPTSD, but my wife and I are separating as I am fundamentally poly and she is unwilling to even consider it. I am wondering how your poly journey is progressing. Any updates you would be willing to share?
Let me tell my story One and a half year ago i fell in love with bsf! A few months later they got a bf I got kinda jealous, but i supported my bsf ofc and i acted like i just like them as a friend. Then a while ago (4 months i think) my bsf told me that they feel like they are poly, ofc i supported and their bf did too! And last month my bsf told me they have feelings for me.... I told them that i feel the same and now we are together! We're not a trouble, my gf has a bf, but I'm not together with him, only with my gf, does that make me poly too or not? I mean I'm in a poly realationship, I'm kinda new too it so yea
I am new to being Polyamrous and was unfortunately accused of being a unicorn which hurt . Iam trying to learn ways to know what's right to do and say . Right now Iam talking to someone who is Polyamrous and has other partners Iam trying to be respectful towards her and hoping to be her partner and eventually join her polyqul .
We’d love an update on your relationship since Connor moved out. Are you still romantically/sexually involved? I’m curious how your relationship has evolved.
I'm not saying it's bad but when it's pushed on you it's not right and yes he just wants to have sex and don't understand how it's makes me feel more when he's sleeping with your friends or talking to them . I don't understand why this happening to me and he doesn't care . I hate myself for feeling stuck 💔
I wonder about this… I have my polyamorous people… one of them particularly loves talking about one of their partners to me… I have mentioned to them.. their constant mention of one of there partners so often is uncomfortable and makes me jealous… since I mentioned this they have pulled away… like I care for there partner but not the level they want me to. I don’t love their partner nor do I like hearing about their sexual encounters… I rather not know…
Ive been monogamous all my life & have recently started seeing this woman who i do love & care about but shes poly, Ive been okay with it (working thru it) with a “Out of sight out of mind” mentality, and today was supposed to be our night to hangout… I said I was looking forward to it for a couple days now, said it earlier in the day & then later, So i get off work, knock on the door & her roommate doesnt open the door right away.. so She eventually does & her & her other longer term partner walks out of the room & she cleans up.. she then proceeds to walk over to me while im in another room & tells me I had walked in/knocked on the door as soon as he 💦💦 on her face…. cant tell ya how that felt. Sank my heart for real… I wanted to leave so bad but i tried to play it off.. idk what to do.
@@SpencerGBful my situation didn’t work out. I think it’s a reasonable boundary in poly relationship to not want to know what they do with other people, until you are eased into it and comfortable with it. Looks like you communicated and she didn’t. If that were me, I would have just left. I would expect my partner to tell me at least something like “I’m sorry babe but I made other plans” or at the very minimum set an actual time for me to arrive… so that I never cross paths with the others. There should be a fair amount of respect and communication, in my opinion what she did shows how she feels about you… in my situation the girl i was seeing was a complete narcissist, I had help from a friend to smoker her out, I first time ever in my life I ghosted the girl, she went to my friend and started talking crap about me and how needy and disgusting I was. I showed my friend our conversations and she was hella surprised. So my friend just kept getting the dirt while I sat back and told my friend the truth… everything about that week hurt 😞 but least I know now I deserve more than that 🐍. My friend was a god sent blessing 😂 we banned the girl from our discord and our friends knew the drama, so she got the boot from everyone. We don’t take kindly to people like that. I’m still open to a real poly relationship… if it happens. Thought I will try to avoid poisonous people that use poly just to be disrespectfully promiscuous.
I'm new to poly relationships after being married for 8 years. (now divorced). I'm seeing this guy who lives 450 miles away and I wont see him now for a couple of months. The next time will be at a gay rugby tournament. You can imagine that the temptation for two gay rugby guys would be quite hard to ignore. We have these basic guidelines that when we're together - we're together, and a don't ask don't tell policy. That's just sensible when we're living so far apart. I asked him if during the rugby weekend the same rules still apply. He said to expect people he knows coming up and kissing him (so will I tbh) but he would have to politely turn them away and explain. I said to him that watching him kiss other guys wouldn't be my thing, and would make me feel hurt, which he understands. I thought about that a little bit. I realized that it's not through jealousy or envy that I would feel hurt, it's the fact I've just driven 450 miles to spend time with him and wouldn't want to share that precious intimacy with someone else, as I've not seen him for 2 months. So, it was more along the lines of being disrespectful. I don't care what he does out of sight. I tried to explain that the other day and it was misunderstood. Your video has helped me a lot.
That sounds like a tough time and it must hurt to drive all that way but then have the person treat you like you're someone he sees everyday. Hope things have worked out OK.
I’m seeing someone who’s poly but the small things I ask for are not reciprocated. I know they have good intentions but I think I would have a more fulfilling friendship with them rather than relationship. I’m super bummed about it but if i already feel conflicted and discarded then I should prob end it?
I’m wondering if you will be sharing more about the challenges that came up with Bridgette moving in that led to Conor moving out. Of course not saying you should share something you aren’t open to sharing about just something that I am wondering about which is the challenges of adding another person into the household.
Hi Kimberly, we shared about this in real time as it was unfolding through our membership videos. If you're interested you can check them out at www.conorbrittany.com/offers/yxMBYHbz/checkout. Much love to you!
I had a friend buy me a copy of the ethical slut she had a poly experiences. I understand the logic I just can't seem to connect the dots in the social minefield. I have struggled greatly to embrace these paradigms seems like it's a free pass to openly cheat on each other. I get that we are capable of loving many people or pets but when you put that physical element into it, changes the dynamics so drastically. I am doing my best to make sense of it. I totally was shocked when in the book a woman of 15 years married just suddenly decides she's going to follow a life or poly and then her marriage is destroyed and then she proclaims its the best thing that she has ever done. I struggle to follow that. I mean who wouldn't want to have the incredible experience of being able to love many and we will say it's the polycule that's very physical. This person I have been talking to is using that one penis policy. So yeah only good for the guy, not being bi that doesn't help me much. All it does is mean any time to spend with him will be appropriated hopefully equally with all the other women in his circle. I hate being made to feel insignificant and never good enough to be someone's one and only special girl I have found it hard that it seems that all I am in store for is always being exploited for my physical traits and always be just another woman for the guys pleasure. Also I took a bisexuality test scoring 105 (100-130) is allegedly bi curious. I understand that I am very strong minded in my comments but I had really my experience on an online level, I know they're both different experiences but my thing is I have had some very tough lessons with it. Despite difficulties sure I could walk away but will that really teach me,anything about understanding it. I get everyone involved is supposed to feel connected and get along but then we have that green eyed monster of envy or jealousy which I have learned is a notion of I have a feeling that needs to be discussed. Unlike typical and justified jealousy now we have to manage and accept how we feel knowing full well that person we love is actually being intimate with someone else and you aren't that world as much as I make them mine or think of them that way. So yes I am confused and trying to understand and make sense it's very difficult. No disrespectful comments please I am genuinely trying to learn and understand. All my experiences have seemed,to go sour on me. I wish I knew why. My polyamory was in a way imposed on me and because of being submissive I tried to embrace it. It is one of the most difficult concepts I have ever been subjected to, somehow find a way to make it function
Hi! I believe I can see why it's that hard for you to understand the good side of polyamory. In your situation, most people would feel the same. I don't know your full situation of course, but based on what you're saying, you don't get nearly enough appreciation from your potential partner(s). If you feel like you're just a toy for them, that's not real polyamory. Maybe they are in a true polycule, but they might still treat other people unequally which is bound to hurt you. All polyamorous relationships are different. A lot of them are not good places to start your own journey in this. There can be a lot of reasons: you don't get enough attention (or have to beg for it). Or there are already too many people in the polycule. Or the people involved aren't mature enough to make it work well for all involved. Or it actually isn't polyamory, but toxic relationships in disguise. None of these would be your fault. You still sound interested in the topic, so I suggest that you stay very patient, open-minded but wary of the wrong kinds of people for this. I really hope that you get to experience the same kind of double (or triple) affection from amazing people that I am fortunate to enjoy. Once you see and feel the real thing, it all makes sense.
@SepiaMaddy thank you you're like the second or third person to ever offer me a substantial explanation thank you so much for your thorough detailed response. I am grateful.
Maybe you are monogamous in nature. Choose yourself. Do what works for you. Whether monogamous or polyamorous or anything else a lot of people are just selfish in nature full stop. If it’s not making you feel good you can always stop/ go where you are loved and appreciated.
@SepiaMaddy Had another interesting poly couple dynamic where I am genuinely appreciated and we have talked and communicated. This is a Male Dominant with a fem submissive. Apparently I mean something to them which is shocking as most experiences I have had are awkward and challenging. Somehow he feels he can love us both.? Still trying to understand how this is possible. The fem and I have talked seemingly pleasantly for close to 2 to 3 hrs at times, they both know I have had online disasters seem they want to be the representative of how poly can work??? It's encouraging yet terrifying to me. They apparently love me think I belong with them . They plan on getting married so meaning she's first girl and I am seemingly always secondary. Not sure if I want that I am tired of not being good enough to be someone's first. Or equal I don't think I will be in that dynamic. I really am not sure what to choose. They're nice and they love me and would hopefully like to get married someday . I don't think that can happen with them. If I can ever afford a visit it would be nice. Funny thing is too, another mentor had shared until you get into same physical space there's no telling what will happen. Not sure what to expect. Knowing me I will confirm my worst fears. Situations and circumstances can offer temptations of possibilities. The true question will be.... am I bi curious like that stupid bisexuality test suggests I am? Or am I just afraid to be bi... ? I have no idea I wish answers weren't so bloody enigmatic. I seem to find confusion when trying to establish clarity..... I am a little scared as I am not sure what to think.
Did I miss something or were there only 6 things that you mentioned in the video? Was the title mislabeled or did you guys forget to mention the 7th mistake to avoid? 😆
I met a great guy who told me up front that he’s polyamorous and I’m not, I’ve never dated more than one person but I told him I’m okay if he continues his lifestyle but I won’t be going after another hit while dating him. Do you see any potential problems with that? I should say that I’ve never felt jealousy so I can’t say it won’t happen but it hasn’t happened
As long as you both understand what is going on and you’re both communicating then it seems like it could work.. if you know he’s polyamorous and you’re not trying to “convert” him or lock him down, but are just willing to be his partner, and are accepting of that side of him then it really shouldn’t matter. Everyone’s situation is different
Ha good luck. I remember a homie that was so smooth. He would say that only so it wouldn't be an issue later when he got caught. Smart but just a different animal. Make sure to wrap it before you tap it bc this dude swapped so much mud that one of the chicks found out she had VD. It had affected one of her reproductive organs to the point that birthing children may not be possible. Anyway, just read the car-fax and ask thought provoking questions and remember to have fun.
Ive been monogamous all my life & have recently started seeing this woman who i do love & care about but shes poly, Ive been okay with it (working thru it) with a “Out of sight out of mind” mentality, and today was supposed to be our night to hangout… I said I was looking forward to it for a couple days now, said it earlier in the day & then later, So i get off work, knock on the door & her roommate doesnt open the door right away.. so She eventually does & her & her other longer term partner walks out of the room & she cleans up.. she then proceeds to walk over to me while im in another room & tells me I had walked in/knocked on the door as soon as he 💦💦 on her face…. cant tell ya how that felt. Sank my heart for real… I wanted to leave so bad but i tried to play it off.. idk what to do… any advice..?
If you really love this woman love is not jealous it’s not anger or spite it’s spiritual and you are meant for them now if you don’t love her walk away before you get hurt heart break is really hard to heal from it took me years and now I’m with my husband and his wife it’s not peaches and cream but we talk about it and find an solution for the problem I hope this helped
Polyamory is not a choice and has no rules it's simply a way of feeling, u naturally feel close to more than one person just like parents who love all three of their children equal. Almost every REAL poly couple are turned off almost instantly by jealousy.
Firstly required a romantic relations to the parent child relationship is a red flag. Additionally, anytime we engaged isn’t a relationship and l/or sex it is a choice if it isn’t a choice it’s abuse of some sort.
*Quick question:* Why do people in polyamorous relationships put rules and boundaries in place? Does anyone notice how poly relationships tend to end with one of the two finding someone they can’t be without then reverting to monogamy? The reality is the man in the poly relationship has to provide emotional support, a roof over the woman’s heads, etc. Meanwhile she allowed to go out and sleep with the men she actually prefer and they don’t have any obligations to care or provide for her. *That’s wild. I’d never encourage my son be the pathetic and get used that harshly.*
Christianity is based on threats. It's about calling suffering "joy". Non-Christians are allowed to be happy as long as no one is suffering (which is actually a bad thing, newsflash). Your beliefs about judgement day may feel real, but I doubt they are. So why follow unhealthy patterns just because someone wrote it down and claimed it was from God a few thousand years ago? Sacrifice your whole life for a threat. It's manipulation and control.
Comming out of a nine year celibacy, it's almost strange to even think about having sex again. I've had around 20 sexual partners from the age of 15 until I was 24 and now I'm 33 and my daughter is 8. Being myself now as I wasn't or couldn't be before, beginning new connections is a whole different thing. Learning boundaries again and knowing with whom I want to share anything is a real big thing and it's really exciting! 🥹 Also, I can't wait because I am a pretty sensual human, just had my first date in many years! He was just a little young for me, at this stage I know I need someone who has been through it like I have, with some life experience and Love experience ❤ My mantra for my new relationships is that I'm friends first, and if that works out we can move into the physical realm and whatever that looks like. I have had many hug-less years so I have some catching up to do! 🎉
The self awareness part is so hard! Even after years of therapy and journaling and polyam, sometimes I still get hit with expectations I didn't even know I had. 😅It's an ongoing journey and I'm grateful y'all have been a part of it from the beginning.
It's so layered! You're doing amazing
☝️Yes Multifaceted Indeed, Here's to More Growth,Through Occasionally Rocky, Yet Epic Once in a Lifetime Expieriences & Adventures.
Much Peace
@@conorandbrittany All end up in divorces 100%
C&B, thanks a million for sharing what polyamory entails. To often the poly lifestyle is sensationalized as a “free for all” but the community of people that identify w/ CNM relationships see it more personally. I didn’t realized that until today and I thank you for correcting that myth.
for me (living in poly relationships since ever) the biggest point is: don't be a dick.
Recently learned i'm non monogamous and well trying to figure out how to "act" upon the research I did as I never did polyamory before
Same. It’s complicated.
No one ever give tips or experiences from the secondary perspective. I feel like it’s really hard because everything is from the main couples perspective which I feel just makes you feel even more irrelevant because your the option and then you don’t even rate to have people speak about your experiences or give you tips
Completely agree
Thank you SO much for everything. My partner and I have been monogamous for 6 years and we recently opened our relationship (it was my request, and he "adjusted" to it - now he is very much on board). Your content has helped me so much throughout this journey... I do have one question though, how do you deal with your partner getting to know someone (and being very excited about it) when you don't have anyone yourself? Should you let your partner experience this? I envy that my partner has found someone and I haven't. I want him to be happy but I don't want to break in the process. Do you have any advice for me on that? Much love ❤
Have you done a video on how to talk to a new person about you currently being in a poly/open relationship and having a committed partner?? Do you tell people when you first meet them? If you did this type a video could you link me to it. Thanks for your steady commitment to evolving communication around relationship.
This video came across me. Very informative. I'm not interested in polyamory for myself, but it is something I'd like to research for authenticity of a story I'm working on. Thank you for making it.
Gl on the story!! Hope it went well. 🎉
My self awareness was a driving factor of why I became interested in polyamory and I’m looking at it from a standpoint of I want a big family not as I want to be with multiple people at the same time
I want a family with 2 people that’s about all I know I can handle
And from my limited knowledge of polyamory and the lifestyle itself you have to be very mature and realistic in your outlook on it just from my current knowledge
a closed triad is probably best for me because it enables me to still be able to give all I can to my partners without burning myself out but still go above and beyond for them
I would love to read a book about polyamory from you two! I hope you're planning on writing one if you haven't already.
I'm a follower for years now and I really enjoy your content.
Maybe one day!
Self-awareness and a high emotional intelligence are essential. My wife and I both have CPTSD, have just begun our journey into this, and are in couples' therapy as well as individual. I can't imagine this as even doable were we not taking care of ourselves. (Especially since victims of traumatic childhood can have terrible radars about who is a healthy partner vs who isn't.)
I also have CPTSD, but my wife and I are separating as I am fundamentally poly and she is unwilling to even consider it. I am wondering how your poly journey is progressing. Any updates you would be willing to share?
I love the vulnerability and authenticity in your presentation. You've always put yourselves forward in your content. Thanks for your example
Thanks Zoe 🥰
Let me tell my story
One and a half year ago i fell in love with bsf!
A few months later they got a bf
I got kinda jealous, but i supported my bsf ofc and i acted like i just like them as a friend.
Then a while ago (4 months i think) my bsf told me that they feel like they are poly, ofc i supported and their bf did too! And last month my bsf told me they have feelings for me.... I told them that i feel the same and now we are together! We're not a trouble, my gf has a bf, but I'm not together with him, only with my gf, does that make me poly too or not? I mean I'm in a poly realationship, I'm kinda new too it so yea
I am new to being Polyamrous and was unfortunately accused of being a unicorn which hurt . Iam trying to learn ways to know what's right to do and say . Right now Iam talking to someone who is Polyamrous and has other partners Iam trying to be respectful towards her and hoping to be her partner and eventually join her polyqul .
We’d love an update on your relationship since Connor moved out.
Are you still romantically/sexually involved?
I’m curious how your relationship has evolved.
Noted :) Thanks for the suggestion and your curiosity!
I have so much love in my heart for you both ❤️ thank you for taking the time to make videos like these!
Sending you so much love Mariah! xoxo
Really good vid. How about a vid on where to go,how to begin entering the lifestyle?
I'm not saying it's bad but when it's pushed on you it's not right and yes he just wants to have sex and don't understand how it's makes me feel more when he's sleeping with your friends or talking to them . I don't understand why this happening to me and he doesn't care . I hate myself for feeling stuck 💔
I agree, it's not right when polyamory is pushed on you. I'm sorry you're having this experience. Sending hugs.
I wonder about this… I have my polyamorous people… one of them particularly loves talking about one of their partners to me… I have mentioned to them.. their constant mention of one of there partners so often is uncomfortable and makes me jealous… since I mentioned this they have pulled away… like I care for there partner but not the level they want me to. I don’t love their partner nor do I like hearing about their sexual encounters… I rather not know…
Ive been monogamous all my life & have recently started seeing this woman who i do love & care about but shes poly, Ive been okay with it (working thru it) with a “Out of sight out of mind” mentality, and today was supposed to be our night to hangout… I said I was looking forward to it for a couple days now, said it earlier in the day & then later, So i get off work, knock on the door & her roommate doesnt open the door right away.. so She eventually does & her & her other longer term partner walks out of the room & she cleans up.. she then proceeds to walk over to me while im in another room & tells me I had walked in/knocked on the door as soon as he 💦💦 on her face…. cant tell ya how that felt. Sank my heart for real… I wanted to leave so bad but i tried to play it off.. idk what to do.
@@SpencerGBful my situation didn’t work out. I think it’s a reasonable boundary in poly relationship to not want to know what they do with other people, until you are eased into it and comfortable with it. Looks like you communicated and she didn’t. If that were me, I would have just left. I would expect my partner to tell me at least something like “I’m sorry babe but I made other plans” or at the very minimum set an actual time for me to arrive… so that I never cross paths with the others. There should be a fair amount of respect and communication, in my opinion what she did shows how she feels about you… in my situation the girl i was seeing was a complete narcissist, I had help from a friend to smoker her out, I first time ever in my life I ghosted the girl, she went to my friend and started talking crap about me and how needy and disgusting I was. I showed my friend our conversations and she was hella surprised. So my friend just kept getting the dirt while I sat back and told my friend the truth… everything about that week hurt 😞 but least I know now I deserve more than that 🐍. My friend was a god sent blessing 😂 we banned the girl from our discord and our friends knew the drama, so she got the boot from everyone. We don’t take kindly to people like that.
I’m still open to a real poly relationship… if it happens. Thought I will try to avoid poisonous people that use poly just to be disrespectfully promiscuous.
@@SpencerGBful You know exactly what to do.
Good advice.
I'm new to poly relationships after being married for 8 years. (now divorced). I'm seeing this guy who lives 450 miles away and I wont see him now for a couple of months. The next time will be at a gay rugby tournament. You can imagine that the temptation for two gay rugby guys would be quite hard to ignore. We have these basic guidelines that when we're together - we're together, and a don't ask don't tell policy. That's just sensible when we're living so far apart. I asked him if during the rugby weekend the same rules still apply. He said to expect people he knows coming up and kissing him (so will I tbh) but he would have to politely turn them away and explain. I said to him that watching him kiss other guys wouldn't be my thing, and would make me feel hurt, which he understands. I thought about that a little bit. I realized that it's not through jealousy or envy that I would feel hurt, it's the fact I've just driven 450 miles to spend time with him and wouldn't want to share that precious intimacy with someone else, as I've not seen him for 2 months. So, it was more along the lines of being disrespectful. I don't care what he does out of sight. I tried to explain that the other day and it was misunderstood. Your video has helped me a lot.
That sounds like a tough time and it must hurt to drive all that way but then have the person treat you like you're someone he sees everyday. Hope things have worked out OK.
I’m seeing someone who’s poly but the small things I ask for are not reciprocated. I know they have good intentions but I think I would have a more fulfilling friendship with them rather than relationship. I’m super bummed about it but if i already feel conflicted and discarded then I should prob end it?
I’m wondering if you will be sharing more about the challenges that came up with Bridgette moving in that led to Conor moving out. Of course not saying you should share something you aren’t open to sharing about just something that I am wondering about which is the challenges of adding another person into the household.
Hi Kimberly, we shared about this in real time as it was unfolding through our membership videos. If you're interested you can check them out at www.conorbrittany.com/offers/yxMBYHbz/checkout. Much love to you!
I remember one of their videos way back with strappponss..look hot inshape Brittany is.. lots of lean muscle ... I love these videos.🙂✌️
I had a friend buy me a copy of the ethical slut she had a poly experiences. I understand the logic I just can't seem to connect the dots in the social minefield. I have struggled greatly to embrace these paradigms seems like it's a free pass to openly cheat on each other. I get that we are capable of loving many people or pets but when you put that physical element into it, changes the dynamics so drastically. I am doing my best to make sense of it. I totally was shocked when in the book a woman of 15 years married just suddenly decides she's going to follow a life or poly and then her marriage is destroyed and then she proclaims its the best thing that she has ever done. I struggle to follow that. I mean who wouldn't want to have the incredible experience of being able to love many and we will say it's the polycule that's very physical. This person I have been talking to is using that one penis policy. So yeah only good for the guy, not being bi that doesn't help me much. All it does is mean any time to spend with him will be appropriated hopefully equally with all the other women in his circle. I hate being made to feel insignificant and never good enough to be someone's one and only special girl I have found it hard that it seems that all I am in store for is always being exploited for my physical traits and always be just another woman for the guys pleasure. Also I took a bisexuality test scoring 105 (100-130) is allegedly bi curious. I understand that I am very strong minded in my comments but I had really my experience on an online level, I know they're both different experiences but my thing is I have had some very tough lessons with it. Despite difficulties sure I could walk away but will that really teach me,anything about understanding it. I get everyone involved is supposed to feel connected and get along but then we have that green eyed monster of envy or jealousy which I have learned is a notion of I have a feeling that needs to be discussed. Unlike typical and justified jealousy now we have to manage and accept how we feel knowing full well that person we love is actually being intimate with someone else and you aren't that world as much as I make them mine or think of them that way. So yes I am confused and trying to understand and make sense it's very difficult. No disrespectful comments please I am genuinely trying to learn and understand. All my experiences have seemed,to go sour on me. I wish I knew why. My polyamory was in a way imposed on me and because of being submissive I tried to embrace it. It is one of the most difficult concepts I have ever been subjected to, somehow find a way to make it function
Hi! I believe I can see why it's that hard for you to understand the good side of polyamory. In your situation, most people would feel the same. I don't know your full situation of course, but based on what you're saying, you don't get nearly enough appreciation from your potential partner(s). If you feel like you're just a toy for them, that's not real polyamory. Maybe they are in a true polycule, but they might still treat other people unequally which is bound to hurt you. All polyamorous relationships are different. A lot of them are not good places to start your own journey in this. There can be a lot of reasons: you don't get enough attention (or have to beg for it). Or there are already too many people in the polycule. Or the people involved aren't mature enough to make it work well for all involved. Or it actually isn't polyamory, but toxic relationships in disguise. None of these would be your fault. You still sound interested in the topic, so I suggest that you stay very patient, open-minded but wary of the wrong kinds of people for this.
I really hope that you get to experience the same kind of double (or triple) affection from amazing people that I am fortunate to enjoy.
Once you see and feel the real thing, it all makes sense.
@SepiaMaddy thank you you're like the second or third person to ever offer me a substantial explanation thank you so much for your thorough detailed response. I am grateful.
Maybe you are monogamous in nature. Choose yourself. Do what works for you.
Whether monogamous or polyamorous or anything else a lot of people are just selfish in nature full stop. If it’s not making you feel good you can always stop/ go where you are loved and appreciated.
@SepiaMaddy Had another interesting poly couple dynamic where I am genuinely appreciated and we have talked and communicated.
This is a Male Dominant with a fem submissive. Apparently I mean something to them which is shocking as most experiences I have had are awkward and challenging. Somehow he feels he can love us both.?
Still trying to understand how this is possible.
The fem and I have talked seemingly pleasantly for close to 2 to 3 hrs at times, they both know I have had online disasters seem they want to be the representative of how poly can work??? It's encouraging yet terrifying to me.
They apparently love me think I belong with them . They plan on getting married so meaning she's first girl and I am seemingly always secondary. Not sure if I want that I am tired of not being good enough to be someone's first. Or equal I don't think I will be in that dynamic. I really am not sure what to choose. They're nice and they love me and would hopefully like to get married someday . I don't think that can happen with them. If I can ever afford a visit it would be nice.
Funny thing is too, another mentor had shared until you get into same physical space there's no telling what will happen. Not sure what to expect. Knowing me I will confirm my worst fears. Situations and circumstances can offer temptations of possibilities. The true question will be.... am I bi curious like that stupid bisexuality test suggests I am? Or am I just afraid to be bi... ? I have no idea I wish answers weren't so bloody enigmatic. I seem to find confusion when trying to establish clarity..... I am a little scared as I am not sure what to think.
Thanks for sharing! Are you guys still romantic partners? Would love to know how your relationship has evolved since your last update ❤️
We just shared an upate today! Thanks for your curiosity
Did I miss something or were there only 6 things that you mentioned in the video? Was the title mislabeled or did you guys forget to mention the 7th mistake to avoid? 😆
Oh godd
Respect
I met a great guy who told me up front that he’s polyamorous and I’m not, I’ve never dated more than one person but I told him I’m okay if he continues his lifestyle but I won’t be going after another hit while dating him. Do you see any potential problems with that? I should say that I’ve never felt jealousy so I can’t say it won’t happen but it hasn’t happened
As long as you both understand what is going on and you’re both communicating then it seems like it could work.. if you know he’s polyamorous and you’re not trying to “convert” him or lock him down, but are just willing to be his partner, and are accepting of that side of him then it really shouldn’t matter. Everyone’s situation is different
Ha good luck. I remember a homie that was so smooth. He would say that only so it wouldn't be an issue later when he got caught. Smart but just a different animal. Make sure to wrap it before you tap it bc this dude swapped so much mud that one of the chicks found out she had VD. It had affected one of her reproductive organs to the point that birthing children may not be possible. Anyway, just read the car-fax and ask thought provoking questions and remember to have fun.
Open and honest communication.
Ive been monogamous all my life & have recently started seeing this woman who i do love & care about but shes poly, Ive been okay with it (working thru it) with a “Out of sight out of mind” mentality, and today was supposed to be our night to hangout… I said I was looking forward to it for a couple days now, said it earlier in the day & then later, So i get off work, knock on the door & her roommate doesnt open the door right away.. so She eventually does & her & her other longer term partner walks out of the room & she cleans up.. she then proceeds to walk over to me while im in another room & tells me I had walked in/knocked on the door as soon as he 💦💦 on her face…. cant tell ya how that felt. Sank my heart for real… I wanted to leave so bad but i tried to play it off.. idk what to do… any advice..?
If you really love this woman love is not jealous it’s not anger or spite it’s spiritual and you are meant for them now if you don’t love her walk away before you get hurt heart break is really hard to heal from it took me years and now I’m with my husband and his wife it’s not peaches and cream but we talk about it and find an solution for the problem I hope this helped
Polyamory is not a choice and has no rules it's simply a way of feeling, u naturally feel close to more than one person just like parents who love all three of their children equal. Almost every REAL poly couple are turned off almost instantly by jealousy.
Firstly required a romantic relations to the parent child relationship is a red flag. Additionally, anytime we engaged isn’t a relationship and l/or sex it is a choice if it isn’t a choice it’s abuse of some sort.
❤️
Connor looks like Oscar Isaac
I am straight how to get two girls ??
*Quick question:* Why do people in polyamorous relationships put rules and boundaries in place? Does anyone notice how poly relationships tend to end with one of the two finding someone they can’t be without then reverting to monogamy? The reality is the man in the poly relationship has to provide emotional support, a roof over the woman’s heads, etc. Meanwhile she allowed to go out and sleep with the men she actually prefer and they don’t have any obligations to care or provide for her. *That’s wild. I’d never encourage my son be the pathetic and get used that harshly.*
So one works and the other two take advantage, got it
A higher level of self awareness…. lol, okay.
If it is not sexual. Why bother? First date, of course not. But if never, there is no point.
All do end up in divorces.
If you live your life according through Jesus you won’t need this BS. How will you explain this on judgement day?
All end up devorced
Christianity is based on threats. It's about calling suffering "joy". Non-Christians are allowed to be happy as long as no one is suffering (which is actually a bad thing, newsflash). Your beliefs about judgement day may feel real, but I doubt they are. So why follow unhealthy patterns just because someone wrote it down and claimed it was from God a few thousand years ago? Sacrifice your whole life for a threat. It's manipulation and control.
You ruined my marriage!
Comming out of a nine year celibacy, it's almost strange to even think about having sex again. I've had around 20 sexual partners from the age of 15 until I was 24 and now I'm 33 and my daughter is 8. Being myself now as I wasn't or couldn't be before, beginning new connections is a whole different thing. Learning boundaries again and knowing with whom I want to share anything is a real big thing and it's really exciting! 🥹
Also, I can't wait because I am a pretty sensual human, just had my first date in many years! He was just a little young for me, at this stage I know I need someone who has been through it like I have, with some life experience and Love experience ❤
My mantra for my new relationships is that I'm friends first, and if that works out we can move into the physical realm and whatever that looks like. I have had many hug-less years so I have some catching up to do! 🎉