How we overcame jealousy and became polyamorous
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- Опубликовано: 2 окт 2024
- The Secrets to Creating Wildly Successful and Juicy Open Relationships
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Conor and Brittany share some stories from their past revealing just how crazy their jealousy used to be. They found healthy ways to process jealousy, turning jealousy into a gift for growth. They now celebrate an 8 year polyamorous relationship where jealousy has completely shifted for them both. They show that if they can do it, coming from their background with jealousy, you can do it too!
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Want to improve your relationships? This channel is for you. Conor and Brittany are a Polyamorous relationship coaching duo who guide people in improving their relationships. Our courses and membership help individuals create amazing relationships, open up to polyamory, or overcome jealousy. Our programs are designed to equip and empower you with the knowledge and tools you need to create the relationships you've always wanted.
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The live video was extraordinary!!!!! Like life changing!!!!! Thank you so much for such a beautiful gift and an incredible JUICY offer!!
Aw yayyyy! We love hearing this feedback from you! Thank you!!
As someone entering into a poly situation for the first time, this is a very helpful video. Still trying to figure out exactly how I want to engage and the jealousy part is a major challenge for me.
We hope you can join us for the free workshop
You didn’t say how you overcame jealousy and became poly. You only said how jealous you both were in the past
Brittany and Conor, y'all helped me so much and you don't even know it
Aww we're honored
Lol… so here is the universal acknowledgment of a negative feeling everyone has, the promise of release of those negative feelings, and not one single actual solution to said negative feeling. Yeah, okay🤣
When Brittany talked about the exotic dance and the sarcasm I just laughed! Oh boy. I have been there. 😂. I know your workshop is hands down authentic and beyond helpful.
Your caption does not reflect what you talk about. Out of respect for your viewers' time, you should state that this video is about your stories because based on the caption I assumed you were going to share strategies on overcoming jealousy.
Missed your content! A wonderful video ❤️ Even as someone who is monogamous I really appreciate how openly and freely you both share about your jealousy journeys. This is something that I think applies to everyone out there. Learning to let go of that sense of jealousy and fear that surrounds intimacy at times.
We love knowing this! Yes, we think so too! Thank you so much for sharing this!
You really changed from crazy jealous to free people, very impressive
Haven't watched you in a while, but you're on fire! Yes! Thank you.
Aww yeah! Thank you!!!
My wife had sex for the first time since we opened our relationship last night. I had the most terrible guttural ripped open panic attack after for hours after I heard the news. I’m so scared to see her today, we’ve been together 6 years, I don’t know how to face her today knowing she has shared that experience with someone else. I’m so scared
How are you guys doing now?
I'm sorry that sucks. At least this isn't the end all and that real love actually exists outside of these selfish imperfect humans
I also panicked too. Felt like I could die. I'm working on it since it happened yesterday 😂
I'm so sorry. If something feels this wrong, it's because it is wrong. I hope you are okay now.
I'm investigating this new polyamory, as I have to share the planet with people who are into this. My questiong is, how significant is the portion of polyamory couples that DON'T engage in sex?
When you open your relationship, do you feel that you’re just opening a door to more problems? Such as the possibility of one of you falling in love with someone else? I’m currently in talks with my wife about opening the relationship although I’m not the one who wants it. I’m having a tough time with it(even though we haven’t opened our relationship yet) and need to find a way to put my emotions aside. I don’t like the idea of it but I don’t feel like I have a choice at this point. Now I’m trying to convince myself that everything will be ok. We have a great marriage currently. I just don’t understand how an open marriage could be beneficial?
When they start pushing to open the relationship they usually already have someone else in mind at the very least
It's not beneficial whatsoever. These people are lying to themselves.
I have not even watched yet but I’m so happy to see a post!
When I first started watching you, I was married heterosexually and monogomously. In the last few years, things have shifted for me as I've come alive to myself. I am no longer married, and now with two partners of different genders, and working through all of these big feelings in both of these open relationships. I'm very grateful for your content as I've taken this journey.
So thrilled for your new journey!
I feel similar. Been in a 15 year monogomous relationship (I myself am also bi) and recently been trying to talk to my SO about opening the relationship. It's been hard and I'm not sure the relationship can take it. Sometimes, I guess, it involves moving on in order to move forward.
@@PrimalPapaya That sounds complex and challenging. Thank you for sharing
@@PrimalPapayain a similar situation but my relationship has been going for about 5 years before I finally brought it up! Thank you for sharing. Good luck in your endeavors
Looks like very jealous partners can turn to polyamory while also some very not jealous partners never feel the need to turn to it.
Such a good point ! I hardly ever get jealous but can only be intimate with one person. I think people who struggle with codependency feel the need to swing the other way to find their own balance.
thank you for coming back!! sooo good to see you together here. Whose house is this? It looks so different from any space I've seen you in!
Thanks! It's great to be here! It's Conor's place! It's the RUclips studio, the same one with the blue couch, redone! Thanks for your curiosity!
the specifics and details feel so good for me to receive from you both. it feels so relatable and inspiring at the same time. thank you!
Yay! We love knowing that. Thank you for sharing this!
I wander if you would do a vid on what has happened lately for you not to be filming lately
Just focusing on other projects! You can follow us on Instagram to follow our daily happenings
You could not have posted this at a better time. 🙏 My husband and I are open, have been for a yearish. It's a struggle sometimes, but I KNOW I want to transcend jealousy and negativity to have the kind of beautiful thing you both do. You guys give me so much strength to keep going forward. ❤ Can't wait for the livestream.
See you there! xoxo
I guess what is crazy is that I don't think that is crazy to say. It really depends on the context and history of what you had experienced and experienced within that relationship. Perhaps, I'm unevolved, but I can't "get" that. Brittany's story is from a younger person's jealous experience and involves snooping. But I get it. I really like that you shared the feelings you shared going through your jealousy. Honestly, it is impressive that you don't feel these things anymore. I marvel. I have moved through many behaviors I no longer do with or to my partner, but not all. I'm wondering as I write this, why "get rid" of jealousy? I mean, yes, I can see being aware and not going into the depths of despair or pain, but I also think that it can be useful. My 2 cents.
We understand your perspective
Omg yay! I've missed you guys! ❤️
Boy this is such a great share! For everyone regardless of rather they are monogamous or poly. Thanks for always being open and real with us. It’s exactly what makes the healthy world go round. ❤
There was not one piece of advice in this video that discussed how you overcame jealousy. Your title is completely mismatched. Please change your title, so it doesn’t come up under the wrong RUclips search algorithm.
Interesting episode.🙏
I’ve always appreciated your information over the years and enjoy watching you 2 grow as a couple, family and group. Please continue your journey and help us appreciate CNM as a social norm v. unhealthy cheating. 💜
Aw yes, we love knowing this! Thank you for the appreciation and encouragement!
I had a boyfriend once and he was very flirty making eyes at gals and always going up to women in front of me and my jealousy went crazy of course. It was painful i felt very insecure. And he had the upperhand always saying it was all me as i had a jealous problem. So i couldnt get threw it and the women he flirted with treated me with disdain so i left him. We are still friends occasionally today when run into each other. He is still single today maybe no one else could handle it either. He seemed to need other attention constantly for his needs. He also was extroverted very much and blamed the jealousy on me so it never got worked through. I was an introvert with different needs than him. And i think he was too involved with trying to get energy from others for it to work ever. The whole thing was embarrassing for me and painful. A friend of mine pointed out to me that he was flirting with her right as he was standing there. Omgosh i was trying hard not to be jealous and she saw it and called him out on it. That week i just disappeared from his life and he started stalking me at times. Very strange dynamics and glad its all over. Still to this day i wonder if it was all me. See how it messes you up.
That was not all you! Unless you had an agreement that you can flirt with other people, then it's disrespectful. Both parties have to consent.
Definitely not all you. He sought out and/or had energetic connections with others. He was not valuing you and the relationship in the ways that you had expected, agreed upon, or assumed to have agreed upon.
Missed you guys. Hope you had a relaxing much deserved break.
My gf went out with another man tonight for the first time. This video is so helpful lol honestly feeling hella jealousy rn but I know it's for the best.
Much love and support to you Sebastian!
@@conorandbrittany lol thanks guys, it was def helpful getting through that. Ngl I felt so jealous haha
Narcissists
Interesting. Are yall open for an interview? I recently interviewed a Poly couple on my channel
Can you please share with me what camera you use??? 🎥
This is so amazing for you to share, thank you so much! Also I love the new RUclips room :).
Yay! Thank you!
These videos are all about money. I don't feel the love anymore
I do feel the love from them and between them and through them. I have been watching for a long time.
I hear you but I don't agree. To me there's an element of money to be expected because this is also their livlihood. This video is really short and presumably the main purpose is letting people know about the workshop. So I see where you're coming from & that it is a big part of this video. But, at least, from my perspective they find a good balance. I'm not on their memeber site- thats not in my budget and this is the way they make money so that's probably always gonna be there to a certain extent. But they do also make free videos on yourtube and I find them to often be really helpful. I guess it would be nice if there was total seperation of youtube from their buisness but I don't think that's very realistic. I still see a lot of love and am grateful for what I have been able to learn from them on youtube.
@@guiomardart well said 🥰💯
I know what you mean but I don't think they are being greedy. I just feel like they are looking for a new groove (maybe independently) but I am happy to continue to watch while they are searching for what the new thing is. I just love listening to them talk hahaha.
The workshop is free.
What are you talking about?
This was so amazing & funny, as I reflected on the things I used to do, when I unconsciously thought ownership of my husband was not only ok, but that I was entitled. I, too, have compassion for the part of me who had insecure & anxious attachment & an abandonment wound. Now, I wouldn’t say that I’m joyously embodying compersion, but I embrace compersion & don’t feel jealous about my twin flame being with someone else, rn. Even if he & I were back together, I don’t think I’d spend a lot of time, or energy, explaining to him if I was feeling jealousy, bcus it’s an aspect of being human that we’ve already talked about & I know that whatever we give energy to multiplies. The way I think I’d handle jealousy now is, moreso, saying I’m working thru some egoic stuff, but that he hasn’t done anything wrong. I strongly believe in owning my own stuff, no victim, no villain, no blame, no shame. So, for me the answer is more self love, more working on being my best version, cus worse case scenario, I’d let him know I wanted more attention. I say worse case, bcus I love a relationship that doesn’t compromise, or limit my person, by having boundaries that would “force” him into doing things that he wouldn’t organically do. This is why the poly life is so important to me, for my poly partner, bcus if I’m working thru egoic feelings, I won’t betray myself either & be intimate with him, when I’m not feeling that way. I could relate to you Brittany, when you talked about the ecstatic dance experience, with Conor being intimate with someone else, causing you to not want to be intimate with him, i.e. NO!!! Go be intimate with who you were just being intimate with😩lol I’m not gonna be the surrogate sperm bank. Anyways, yes, thank God for growth. I move thru my egoic feelings, relatively, quick now & aspire to get to the place both of you are at, which sounds like compersion. Thanks so much for sharing!
Ive missed you...great to see your faces and to hear your offerings on this topic xo
Love ya’ll & your authentic shares 🙏🏻✨
muah!
i had to lol irl, because the stuff Brittany said about "...oh, I'm enjoying this time by myself! I'm choosing this!" and oscillating between being totally hunky dory and feeling like ABSOLUTE trash really, really hit the mark for me. like i was literally experiencing it when I was watching this video. Wild
man thanks mine relationship just turned polyamorous and i dont understand it well, i wanna of course live it because i am a verry open person buit is a new territory for me
It seems that it may take time, patience & honest & open communication to prove one's devotion and appreciation for one's primary partner/s.
I like the way ployamourous people do what they do ethically I am pagan I accept all consensaul sex
Perfect 👌 i need help with this. My partner found a woman for us and oh man I can't believe the strong emotions it brought up in me.
New gear! Love it😍
…are you doing another workshop?? I just saw this & would be extremely interested! 💓
These videos are a huge help. My husband and I recently opened up our marriage after two years of contemplating about it.
He currently has amazing NRE and I’m not dating anybody. The majority of the time I feel supportive, excited, and proud of him, however every now and then I’ll feel the lack of my situation and get jealous.
Luckily my husband and I communicate very well. Anytime I feel lack for his perceived gain I focus on loving myself and remembering all the amazing attributes I bring to this world.
Even though being poly is challenging I really look forward to all the amazing mental growth.
Sounds like you're rocking it! 😍
Your comment has genuinely saved me a lot of stresses in my mind and made me look at it from (I hope) a stronger and content perspective x
I hate to mutch jealously
Love to see you both! ❤
i missed you guys! happy to see you again
We've missed this too!
i noticed the new room decor right away actually. looks great!
Amazing
YES!! ❤️
I love the backdrop. Nice to see you again.
Thank you!
Unrelated question to Brittany: I know you’re against sunscreen and I’m curious why ☺️ do you recommend any alternative?
I prefer to stay in the shade when the sun is highest and be in sun when the sun is lower
Jealousy is normal , because we are meant to have only one spouse 😊
Thats somewhat true. Its when it gets toxic and controlling is when its bad
Do u guys think it's possible to find a girl that is not necessarily polyamorous but is ok with me having sex with paid girls? I honestly dont feel the need to have sex with more than 1 normal girls frankly because it's extremely hard to do for me at the moment, but i still enjoy sexual variety very much so that would be impossible for me to wanna give up if i ever get a girlfriend.
That's me, I am such a girl, lol
It’s possible to be physically open but jot emotionally. I’d say more people in non monogamous relationships are physically open but only have one emotionally intimate partner.
Sex workers are normal girls too 😁
Omg
She may be ok with it, but it’s not necessarily fair to them expect HER to remain monogamous to you. That’s something you’d have to work out- although tbh the majority of women would probably not be receptive to this offer. But if it means enough to you , you can find someone who is open.
Serious question:
My partner wants an “open “polyamorous” relationship” but has a problem with the fact that I can see myself having intimate relationships. If they want to have “multiple friendships” with being involved with romance, is that still poly? 🤔
Hi love! We find it's most productive to not worry about how the label is defined but to express for each of you what your desires and boundaries are, to create your own meaning and to keep communication open as this will be in constant change. ❤️
Need one of those workshops soon plssss