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OVERWHELMED BY JEALOUSY? This is what we do...
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- Опубликовано: 12 авг 2024
- Is jealousy overwhelming you in your life? Does it feel like it's taking control of how you are feeling and the way your relationships are unfolding? We both used to experience intense jealousy regularly and are excited to share our experiences with you on what we have done to heal and take care of ourselves in these jealous spaces.
JEALOUSY PLAYLIST: • Jealousy
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On this channel we come together to share about our relationship with one another and the relationships we share with others. We love relating with all kinds of people, having non-traditional connections and sharing our experiences with the world. Some themes on this channel are sex education, compassionate communication, playfulness, authentic "no labels" relationships, freedom, love, and empowering viewers to tap into and follow what feels right for them.
We feel excited and inspired by the way we connect with the world and live our lives. We hope to inspire you to create your own unique, authentic connections and ultimately, to live the life of your dreams.
If you are interested in polyamory, open relationships, non-monogamy, and non-traditional relationships...or if you are interested in monogamy, deepening your connection with your partner and in general pursuing more authentic connections both with yourself and others, we think you will find value here.
Connect with us on our individual sites and channels here:
Brittany's Website: www.simplelivingandtravel.com/
Conor's Website: conormcmillen.com/
Conor McMillen's RUclips Channel: / @conormcmillen
Brittany Taylor's RUclips Channel: / sophiefire13
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This is HARDDD - it doesn't feel cool to be upset when someone you love is having a good time elsewhere - the whole concept of that is confusing - right? man! But it comes up, when we don't control people or make boundaries for them. I think its GOOD and healthy not to do that! But yet it still feels hard. Life is so interesting!
I don’t think it has anything to do with setting boundaries, at least for me. My desire for attention from the other person is the reason I’m in the relationship to begin with. My partner with another person leads to fear that I’m losing what is effectively a competition; one for their love, passion, attention, time. The more you feel passed on for another, the more you feel like it may lead to a permanent loss of that person in your life. The more you realize you may not have what it takes to attract your partner. The more you may begin to wonder if it a was just an accident that you happened to find this person you value so much, and that maybe people like them would turn you down. I love knowing my partner is enjoying their life, but it tears me to pieces knowing how close I am to not being part of their life, and knowing how easily I can be replaced.
Whenever I feel jealousy, I feel ashamed of feeling that emotion, cause I feel I failed being a good partner and I keep beating myself, which causes anxiety attack.
This video kind of made me understand what actually jealousy is
It would be cool to see you both role-play a scenerio of opening up about feeling jealous. To be able to see and hear how you both communicate, express and respond to a specific scenerio.
You both are changing the world, thank you!
I would love to see this too!
That sounds great. We have made several "raw processing" videos that are the real thing that we have available on our membership site which we are launching on April 1. We would love to put one out publicly on RUclips as well. Thanks for asking!
I love all of your videos x ❤
I love the part with letting your partner be a little bit crazy! That was a really important thing for me the first time that jealousy really knocked me down in this poly non label relationship I'm having with my partner.
When emotions came in and hit me in my stomach he just told me that he knew the place I was in and that whatever I would say or do to him while in this place, he would not leave me or stop loving me. Basically he gave me permission to freak out as much as I needed to. And also he did not back away, he was there for the whole thing, listening and comforting. I've never felt so supported ever before in a relationship.
Not being constantly afraid of "screwing things up" by saying the wrong things or having to tip toe around his or my feelings is such a wonderful thing.
I might also ad that we practice a lot of non violent communication (especially in these situations) where we focus on our own feelings, fears and experiences instead of making accusations or assumptions of our partners feelings or intentions.
Having that space to "freak out" has helped both us find more space in what we are experiencing. Having love when we are finding it hard to love ourselves is one of the most powerful exchanges we have found in relationship. What a beautiful share. Thank you!
I was really hoping for this video to come! My and my partner are trying an open relationship and even when I can "rationally" support the idea of my partner being with someone else and knowing this will make him happy and the relationship more authentic, I can't avoid the feelings, it's very physical !! A pressure in my chest, a tickling in my spine.... I thought I had to reach the point of not feeling those things, but now I'll try to work with the emotions instead. Thank you!!!
When I'm feeling overwhelmed by feelings of jealousy/insecurity/fear, I have pre-written instructions called "Meltdown Instructions" haha ! I wrote it to/for myself for when I'm in those tough spots. The first step is how to AVOID a meltdown in the first place. But if I'm already spiraling, the remaining steps are reminders to STOP, breathe and remember this uncomfortable feeling means I'M out of whack .... I've been triggered and I'm having a strong physiological reaction. It's time to get quiet and tend my OWN fire. The list has helpful videos (yours among them), insights and other tools I can use to defuse the situation. It helps to be philosophical and remember the psychodrama is contained ENTIRELY in my own mind. I've been through it many times, and each time I deal with it better. I get triggered far less than I used to. Thank you Conor and Brittany for your excellent video series. Your passion, wisdom and love shine throughout. You might be the most emotionally intelligent human beings I ever saw ! ♥♥♥
Oh my goodness, love it! It makes so much sense. Thanks so much for this awesome share
Hello Jeanne ! I'd love if you could share those instructions
I really needed this today. I really appreciate you guys sharing your experiences and allowing me to realize that my feelings are valid, still learning to work through the uncomfortable feelings in order to grow and love myself more. This brought me to tears from a deep understanding of how I'm feeling today. Thank you.
Your videos have helped me tremendously! I was watching them regularly and doing a lot of work with myself but when a guy I was really into asked my best friend out, THEN I realized aaall of the things you have said about jealousy. And I sat down, dealt with my emotions as you advised and went back to a positive place. Thank you so much
yeah, it's fine, the guy turned out to be a douchebag anyway so neither me or my best friend talk to him anymore :p but in the begining man it was hard.
So beautiful. Thank you for the share Iro
My last partner recently broke up with me because I was overwhelmed with jealousy. Even when I chose to be in a poly relationship, it wasn't until I actually had to see my partner with someone else that all those feelings came to me and I was in a really dark place for days. I still see him a lot and even when we are not together, I am trying to deal with all these feelings because I want the best for him, for him to be happy with or without me. It's been really hard but, these videos have helped me a lot to understand myself and deal with those feelings. Thank you
this video came at a good time for me! My special person will soon be leaving out of the country to meet their long distance boyfriend. through your videos and other sources, i have been able to work so much on myself and communicate with them about all our feelings. I have been scared thinking about how i may feel when they leave - scared that ill be crushed under the jealousy or other uncomfortable feelings. watching these videos makes me feel like i can handle anything. Thanks so much, love you both!!
We love you too. Such a beautiful share. You are so seen here. Thank you!
Holy cow. Watching you two look at each other and talk to each other takes my breath away. I can feel the love from here!
I realized while watching this that the same factors undergird polyamory and democracy. 1000 years ago people probably thought that if we scrapped the system where 1 man ascended the throne for his whole life, and instead have everyone living in the country choose their leaders, there would be chaos. But now we can ensure people are educated (and hence have the social awareness to make choices about their leaders) and communication channels (so people can express and negotiate their political views), and have more or less functioning democracies. It seems that people who are worried about polyamory (including myself) have the same fear of chaos. But this video also showed me that we really just need awareness (of both ourselves and people we are directly or indirectly involved with) and have open communication.
You guys look like you're really in tune with each other and like you really love each other.
That's interesting ... jealousy emphasizes the love, so you focus on the Love you feel for that person.... not the jealousy. Perhaps all emotional pain is actually telling us to focus on the love? Not sure... new thought for me... thanks :)
Great advice!! Spot on
thank you so much for this content! I laughed when you guys were talking about being "crazy" because when I'm feeling some tough emotions that I know are stemming from some irrational fears, I tell my partner "I'm sorry I'm being crazy" haha. And then he knows I'm just needing him to be that listening ear so I can verbally work through things and gain some external perspective. I find that cooping things up in my head escalate the matter to irrational proportions. And I want to thank you wonderful people because the vocabulary and carefully chosen words you use to talk about this kind of thing really helps me to work through emotions that I've never had to work through before. thank you so much :)
You are so welcome! Thank you for leaving such a lovely comment and sharing with us
Thank you so much for this. I'm considering an open relationship and I assumed that people didn't get jealous. This helps me understand and that I can cope and deal with it.
This is video is huge! I going through really intense emotions right now with my partner going on a date and just knowing I am not the only one feeling things so strongly. Having guidance from you guys so so unbelievable...THANK YOU again
you are so good at engaging with your audience! i always feel like you're actually talking to me personally
You guys are gorgeous. When I first started watching your videos, I felt very triggered and confronted by your subjects on polyamoury. I thought you were nuts (lol) and I questioned the intent behind it all. But the more I've watched your videos, the more I've realised how real you are. You guys are truth seekers. And we are all trying to find the truth of who we are. And learn to self love. I admire and appreciate your honesty and openness. It helps us all. Blessings.
Damn. Amazing. I will listen to this once in a while. I am such a perfectionist, I need to give myself space to make mistakes. Rome wasn’t build in a day.
Love this video guys. I've been having some intense feelings and last night I felt lead to release and surrender my ideas about how things should be. Love you guys, so authentic and genuine xx
Thanks for this. You two helped show me how to give myself permission to heal through the jealousy and emotions that have come up on this journey. Thank you
I always feel your connection through the screen and its so powerfull i often just burst into (happy) tears. You are both so present with eachother! Thats a rare thing to see nowadays and i looooove it!!!! Makes me wanna jump throught the screen ❤
Revisiting this after several years brings such a different kind of understanding. Thank you
Honestly I’m 34 and every relationship I’ve been in has been so wrong for me, I’m not into poly relationships but I hope one day I can meet a man who is understanding and not so selfish. I admire Connor for who he is as a person. I desire such a man. ☺️ thanks for putting yourself out here for us!
Thank you for sharing this. I have felt a lot of jealousy recently. My girlfriend and I have a long term relationship going on 6 years. Recently, she has been interested in another guy and has been wrestling with her feelings. I have had a hard time with that but i understand. My only issue is that she isnt being open about our relationship to this guy and the new friends she is making. This lack of transparency has made me feel uneasy, untrusting and hurt. We have talked about it but I feel like she is being unfair to me by hiding us from others. Is this a reaction i should be feeling?
Thanks for the content. My GF has watched for months, i am a new viewer
Ah, You gyus are so inspiring and this gives me a lot of hope! Im currently in a mono-poly-relationship with my partner, im the mono and Im struggling alot with emotions like jealousy and just always in my head questioning why? If he loves me as much as he says he does, and if hes so drawn to me and wants to spend as much time as possible with me, then WHY does he need other intimate relationships?! I guess this is hard to explain and makes this type of relationship more difficult beacuse I dont fully understand him and it makes me sad and I sometimes feel guilty for not being able to feel happy for him, even if he says thats okay.. He is the most amazing person Ive ever met, and we are such a good match in every way, except this "little detail". But I can see such potential in us and I want to grow and I wish I could view love from his perspective, like yours as well. Do you think its possible? How much pain and jealousy and work on yourself shold you have to do to be happy in a relationship? Seems like youve both have had to push through a lot of pain and uncomfortable feelings, I admire that, but shouldnt it be easy to love? I want this to work, any tips for me I welcome with open arms and heart now, thanks for sharing ♥
I feel
You. Im in this exact situation today. Im mono. He is poly. He is no dating someone. I have the same questions . You wrote the above a year ago. How are you now?
I love how you define it as an opportunity to heal and grow
Yes! This perspective has helped us embrace uncomfortable spaces with more compassion
I needed this soooo much today!! Thank you
Omg you both are sooo cool and adorable ... I can feel your love between you so much it’s amazing
You are so welcome! Thank you!
This was super helpful to think about. I am not necessarily engaging in polyamoury, but opening up my heart, spirit and mind to relating to others and my romantic partners in new ways. As Jealousy comes up, I am curious about it, where it comes from, why it exists, and how to navigate it in good ways so my partner (or maybe partners one day ha ha) feel loved and safe in the experience, and I do too. Lot's to think about here for sure and it is is soothing!
Thank you so much for this conversation. You both are so inspiring.
You are so very welcome
The contrast that this brings up for me is such a rich fertile ground for growth. Looking forward to brain heart coherence on this subject. My mind gets the concept yet the tension in my chest objects. *healing* Ase!
Thank you for sharing these tools for working through these often shameful emotions. Lots of love to the both of you😘
You are so welcome. Lots of love back to you!
So much love and gratitude felt for you guys right now..thank you so much💛
Thank you so much for making videos like this.
You are so welcome. More to come
How do you balance expressing jealousy to your partner, without constantly talking about it and irritating/overwhelming them with your uncomfortable emotions. I want to be open with my partner without burdening them with my jealousy. I’m in a mono relationship but this could be really helpful! Thanks for your content 💗
We discuss a lot, especially in the early days. :) Frequently checking in was and is something very important to us and works for us. If interested we are releasing a new Healing Jealous program soon! Stay tuned on our website!
This was so helpful, you have no idea. I absolutely love you both.
This has been so helpful. Thank you for sharing.
So happy to read it
love this
It feels so good to watch your videos
This video was really meaningful for me. Thank you so much!
You too are beautiful human beings. Love you so much through my tiny iPad screen 😊💖xoxo.
that was a good explanation of emotional intelligence applied to relationships!
Intention. That’s always been important to me. Great tips guys. Thanks!
Thank you
you guys are too freakin precious. thanks so much for all you share! looking forward to meeting you at WFF 2017.
Aww thank you. Look forward to meeting you there! If you don't know we have a discount code you can use to get $100 off and we get $100 from it. The code is "sweetfun". Much love Skye
So basically, yes, polyamoury can be hard and painfull, but it's always an opportunity to heal and grow and go to a new level of understanding toward ourself and the other(s) that are part of it. And dealing with bad emotions is a great way to learn how to accept things and change our energy to a more positive approach. Learning to share and "dance" with one another. Is that it? Do I have a good understanding there? I'm trying to find a way to explain this to my friends and family.
Your understanding sounds lovely. The only thing we may say differently is instead of "dealing with bad emotions" would be "learning to understand uncomfortable emotions". A big element that we share with others when explaining open relationship is the idea of freedom and honoring our FULL selves in a loving way. That may also help. Thanks for asking!
Every time I have a conversation with my girlfriends on this subject they ask me "but what if a girl falls in love with your husband and then gives him an ultimatum"...
Hubby and I haven't dipped our toes in the water yet, we're still getting our heads around it but feel it is in our future... but my answer is along the lines of "well why wouldn't they love him, he's awesome"... and to the second part, i would imagine that since communication, honesty and checking in with each other's feelings is the highest order, that everyone would be on a similar page and ultimatums don't seem to fit with that vibration so I don't imagine it would come up...
I'd love your thoughts though on if the third party got possessive or jealous or wanted you all to themselves...
the same question your girlfriends ask you I ask myself sometimes.I'd also love to know your thoughts about this, Brittany and Conor! Thanks al lot for your inspiring videos:-) xoxo
Love this share and the question. We are so open to others falling in love with us and us with them. We have recognized what we don't enjoy is being in a relationships where ultimatums rather than negotiations exist. If someone wants more energy than one of us is wanting to give we simply let them know that is not exactly what we want and express our desires. If for some reason what we are offering is not enough for the other to want to maintain a relationship, that is ok, even if it is painful, because we know they are honoring themselves and we are honoring ourselves. Often we find there is a lot of room for negotiations and figuring out a way where everyone can get their needs met. Hope that helps and thanks again for the question!
I fricking love you guys. Every time i watch another video I end up wanting to hug you so hard. If you come to Berlin, ever, come and get those hugs!
We will be in Berlin soon actually! We are planning on scheduling a meet up sometime between April 30th and May 7th. We will make a post about it on our FB page and maybe a video too, so stay tuned. We would LOVE to meet you
Thats fricking amazing. I'd be truly happy to be there for you in case there is anything, really ANYTHING you need there! Love to you guys and hopefully see/hug you soon.
This one was sooooooo good!
Have either of you ever connected with a person that the other partner did not like. Either their personality or their vibration. So not necessarily jealousy.
Also if this happened did the connection end or if this has not happened hypothetically how would both of you handle this? Love and light
I totally agree pain is the leap to the next level ,hold on to the light this demands growing, and it is so grade to stay there and not try to go away:)
Agreed
I really like your hair like this Brittany :) And this video is amazing.
Thank you so much
I am new in a Polyamorous relationship and it gives me anxiety.
I am trying to do my best, but the jealousy is killing me from the inside.
What I do not get is wherever I read about Polyamory there are the same certain problems that do not exist at this degree in a monogamarous relationship.
Surely trust issues can cause jealousy, but knowing and believing that there is only the 2 of us makes it easier to cope with those feelings.
Something is telling me that Polyamory is somehow unnatural.
And I think we can't really compare ourselves with animals.
Am I so in denial?
Im in an open relationship and not poly. My g.f. and I have acknowledged love and sexual activity are not intrinsically connected. We also know a lot of jealousy is due to low self confidence or self esteem. Working on your percieved short comings can alleviate much of that jealousy. I found the jealousy hasnt gone away for either of us. But when we feel it we tell each other and comfort and console their worries. Its there. But it doesnt have to control you as much as it has. Jealousy is also rooted in possessive feelings towards your partner. Simmer on that for awhile and jealousy becomes extremely illogical
Cpt Katt why are you in a polyamorous relationship if it’s not your relationship style? being monogamous doesn’t eradicate the work that an individual has to unpack to handle trust and intimacy at a higher level
love the videos! 💕
Yay! Thank you so much!
Hi Conor and Brittany.
First of all, I LOVE YOU GUYS! AND I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS
Just wanted to make a suggestion: could you please please please make a video on break-ups and broken hearts? It would be super helpful to me at this very moment of my life (and to others, I'm sure) :(
Thank you for everything you do
Thank you so much! And we love you tooo!
Yes, this sounds like a great video topic. Thank you so much for asking! xoxo
What are your thoughts on a long distance / open relationship? And problems that may arise?
Love your videos ❤️
You guys are so beautiful. Thankyou 🥰
Very helpful guys, thank you :)
I had a question - I'm in a relationship with a woman who's polyamorous. Currently I'm interested in finding another partner and have been making use of dating apps and facebook groups, however the toughest thing I'm facing right now is knowing that she has the options she does while I (at the moment) am still searching. I care for her deeply but am finding myself a bit overwhelmed with the jealousy and not sure how I can cope. What would you suggest in this situation?
All emotions are beautiful!
it feels shitty when you never got to choose in the first place
Thanks guys! Question: Do you guys believe in "hierarchy" within your polyamorous relationship? What I mean, are each of you each other's "primary" and all other partners are of secondary importance, or are all of your partners considered equal?
We don't use these terms or really "think" about it like this. But it makes sense based on the amount of energy we share that our value on our relationship is higher than other relationships. That being said, we share love with others from the same open heart that we share love between one another and we value each individual just as much as we do ourselves.
Raven Burnes great question. I’m trying to navigate my relationship as open and define what things are.
Quick question, I'm a newbie! Would you say you're each other's "primary partner"? Or do you not use labels. Beautiful couple by the way
Hey, nice video! How old are you ? Brittany& Connor ? Greetings to youuu✨✨🌞
Is it important for you to be each other's number 1?
I'd like to know this as well
How is the hand stand training going?
Love you two a lot!
We love you too
I've come back to some old videos because I am experiencing some strong jealousy towards the other person in our triad. My partner lives abroad. We see one another every 6-8wks, his other partner lives an hour away from him, and they see one another once a week. They are no longer in a sexually intimate relationship, but I feel jealous of their time together, it hurts when I think of them having cuddling intimacy time. I'm going through some massive life changes, so my emotions are heightened in all aspects of my life. But, I don't know how to deal with this jealousy, there's nothing he can do to help. What can I do to help myself? (I know this is an old post, but I hope you see it).
Much love to you both xx
Ah I wish I'd found your videos sooner!
Do you need your partner to participate in the program you offer ?? Will it work just doing it on your own ??
What is that word you’re always using alongside compassion? “Impersion”??
The term is "compersion". Thanks for asking!
I give up... I understand how this works. I'd have to be fixed mentally to undue the damage of false info and crooked desires. I am an immoral slanderer.
If there's an equal number of equally beautiful people of equal number between the sexes who are equally intelligent and capable, no one gets isolated, left out or tied down. No one is viewed as less satisfying than the other. There, jealousy gets eliminated because no one is lonely (ala A Brave New World without the flaws), everyone is family and everyone is a friend: everyone loves and respects each other as well as love themselves.
So you're free to explore your interests and be happy and can express that happiness with both sexes just as you would family (dinner, parties, celebrations, recreation, product launch gatherings etc.) and physically with the opposite sex for eternity.
Everyone treats the offspring of the following generation as their own child... A community of children who will follow the same rules within their generation and so on for eternity. No one possesses a throne caring for strangers, only generations of family. Then, marriage is defined only for the collective body or nation as being in union with God.
I love you guys so much !!!! Been riding this wave of love with my soul mate for almost 7 years now
Beautiful!
Thank you so much Connor and Brittany for this video. I have been in an open relationship with my partner for a year but we have been doing stuff together. Some times I am fine doing things together but other times I get jealous seeing him kissing someone. I am not a confident person and I don’t have many friends only like work friends and one high school friend. Of course I feel my partner is my best friend and we have been communicating more. But if I ruin a situation with another girl I get blamed a lot because I got jealous and I “pulled a face”
My partner knows he is poly and I haven’t done this before. I guess he knows himself and what he wants and I am more self conscious and don’t love myself enough.
What are your thoughts about this?
Hi :) Thanks for asking. You wrote a couple of things that we wonder if it could be helpful to take a look at and see if changing your narrative helps to empower you a bit. This could be a very useful first step to ultimately creating the life you truly want to be living with the amount of growth that feels appropriate and safe for you. You wrote that you are not a confident person. We understand that may feel very true for you. Does it feel true for you that maybe parts of you are not confident in some areas, but other parts of you are confident in other areas? And in that way, the entirety of you is not one thing or another. This type of narrative has really helped both us when struggling with our self-understanding. For example, when we feel sadness this doesn't mean that we say, "I am a sad person". But rather, "a part of me is feeling sad right now". That leaves space for a universe of other emotions to exist and when we choose, we can turn to those other places.
The other thing your wrote that stuck our is "when I ruin a situation". We don't believe you are capable of ruining anything. We don't believe anyone can "ruin" anything. We know that at times we have felt overwhelmed and reacted from a place that didn't feel very good. But we also know that it makes sense. We know that we want to make some changes but we also know we are perfect. This belief system may not feel true all the time and it may not be 100% accessible in every moment, but by changing our narrative, that is, the way we speak to and about ourself and our environment, allows us to change the way we see and feel in the world.
We both think this could be a really helpful place to start a new journey for yourself. In regards to starting a new journey or expanding the one you are on with your partner, we believe it all comes back to communication. Developing tools to be able to hold space and ask for space to be held in order to share how you both are feeling, what you are both are needing, and how you both can support one another there.
We hope this helps for now. Much love
Conor and Brittany thanks you guys! Yes I do feel parts of myself are confident and others not so much.
I had an experience last year which I don’t want to experience again. We had a girl stay over and my partner was spooning her and playing around with her in the middle of the night and I felt very excluded. He said to me that I shouldn’t feel that and to just join in. How do you guys handle with sharing a bed to sleep in with another partner? It was bringing up a lot of negative thoughts for me at the time and even made me cry that I was all left out.
I loved watching this video! very helpful! jelousy to me can occur in any relationship dynamic.e ven.friends, family, even being single. ty! I have a question. I am interested in someone who said he is in a poly relationship any tips for opening up the lines of communication about it? we did not talk much about it. in fact I was the 1st one he opened up to about it. Above all im interested in him as a person so in some senses him being poly is irrevelant to me. I was married twice in monogamous relationship he was monogamous with his wife up till about a year ago and than he said he "let" his wife be with someone else. her and this other guy just had a baby together. When me and this poly guy where together in some aspects he did not seem through body language that he was happy about the poly aspect. I guess my question too is how can I ask him what's really going on with him ? like if he's only in the poly because it was a last ditch effort or TRUELY something HE wants as well not just for his wife. I have no clue if they are even living together. they do have a 5 yr old together so another option is she may be living with the bf and then married and coparenting or they all could be living together. I just want to be compassionate and gentle with him as possible. im an open person by nature and in some aspects poly has always interested me as for 1 I have never followed the "norm" 2 I'm about love like I really LOVE love..me. the universe. everyone in it. also I'm a very spiritual person. ty again and many blessings!
Hmm.. we feel you. Have you asked him just that? Just sat down, looked at him in the eyes, held his hand and said, "hey, what's really going on for you?" or "How are you really feeling?" Your curiosity is clearly there. We would recommend finding a compassionate, relaxed way to allow your curiosity to shine through. Most humans love to feel that someone is curious about them, genuinely curious. It helps us feel loved, safe and seen. Tell him you want to know more about him, you want to understand him, you are curious about him. Anything that is true for you that can be expressed in a gentle, calm way so that you can create a space for him to open up. And with that space, he still may not open up. And that is ok. The important part is that you created the opportunity, the gift, to allow the space to be held. And maybe at another time he will remember that, and open up then. Either way, you get to exercise the muscle of compassionate communication based in curiosity which you can use in every relationship you create. Much love
Conor and Brittany ty! I appreciate the reply! no. I only have seen him once and the only means I have to speak to him now is fb so I am not sure what to write him at times. not sure if he'd be open to meeting in person again. I'd like to express all this in person but I just guess I'm not sure how to express the beginnings of this through fb. I also am afraid of being rejected as last time I opened up to a guy he disappeared.
ty! much love to you too!
You two are so beautiful
You guys are gorgeous.
Dear both, I have something that I really would need advice for. I am a monogamous woman, currently developing feelings for a polyamorous man who has also been married for several years. I genuinely love our connection, which I feel is very special and one of a kind.
Recently, I have been having a lot of fears coming up concerning the feelings I am developing for him, and a feeling a lot of jealousy at the idea of him loving other people.
Given that I like him very much, I am trying to be open to understand as much as I can about polyamory to be able to understand him. I also notice my willingness to work through deep feelings of fear and jealousy, but the fact remains that I am monogamous. Can a relationship between us two still work?
You both are so damn beautiful !!
Ok I need your advise on something that has just happened as I don’t know who else to ask as no one else I know understands Polys and my bf is poly and unique. He works from home and we are at home a lot of the time and he went to the shops for quite a while and he told me he had to get away as he felt trapped because of the pressure of his work. He said it’s nothing to do with me it is his problem and he wants to be free and going away when needed. He said he will come back but staying in the house makes him feel trapped. How Can I support this?
We think it could be helpful to join our Facebook group and open up your questions to a larger audience so you can get even more support. You can search Facebook groups for "Inspiring Authentic Relationships". It would be lovely to have you there!
Conor and Brittany ok will do :) thanks
how would you describe "to integrate something"? i think i dont understand that
dienddi to integrate is to combine two things in order to become more whole. so trying some of Brittany & Conor's tips, adding them to your life, can improve your relationship health. just in case they don't back to you I hope this is helpful. ✨
Great response
We see integration as a FULL UNDERSTANDING. When something is un-integrated it is only partially understood by the mind and body. There are good reasons for this occurring, most often out of conscious or subcouncious fear that the experience may cause long lasting or never ending pain. So the experience is moved in such a way that integration is not possible without intervention. By creating an environment of self-observation, self-understanding, self-compassion, and self-love, we can not only fully integrate experiences as they occur, but also integrate un-integrated experiences that occurred in the past even if our working "memory" of the experience has eroded.
thank you very much
Do you guys live in the usa? Conor reminds me of the type of guy that would be drawn on the cover of romance novels lol. Brittany. You my dear have a very gentle spirit and a super kind face.
Hugs and love to you both.
I love me... I love me, too!
(too cute)
Are you twin flames?
21 Years Ago I entered into a Dominant submissive Relationship with My Partner. Me as Master and her as slave. After almost 5 Years she revealed to Me that she was Pathologically Jealous and the Polyamorous component of Our Relationship ended. Now We share a House but little else. The Master slave Relationship has ended. She no longer Respects Me nor Honours Me and I’m even doubting that she still Loves Me. I think now I’m just a Convenience for her and not really much of that either. I still want Us to work, but even now I Beginning to doubt it. Jealousy truly is a Curse.