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As someone who is in a functional yet not perfect polyamorous relationship I find most of the comments here to be misrepresenting polyamority and being very against it. Talk about everything with the person and I mean everything down to how you have sex. Be like best friends who aren't afraid to share. Of course you need honor your emotions and feelings and be true to yourself about what you want from each individual. It's about love and growth not sex.
As an overly anxious person, I find it hard to keep up with one romantic interest at a time, I cannot imagine having to juggle several interests all at once, rather than enjoyable I see that as something extremely exhausting. But whatever floats your boat as they say.
*Mixed feelings intensify* I'm polyamorous, so this was obviously scary to click on, but... I can't even tell what the point is. My boyfriend said after watching it that it doesn't really seem to be helpful for anyone, and I have to agree. It sounded like cheating at one point, which is very much not the same as polyamory. It sounded like you were saying monogamous people are weak, but also that polyamory can't work. I just don't understand the message here. Edit: it's also not something you can just start in the middle of a relationship. You have to lay that shit on the table first chance you can lest someone gets hurt.
Polyamory without total honesty is pure madness. Polyamory is different from a relationship where you can sleep with other people and not commit to them.
Some people go crazy when they try to love and care for only one person, but the opposite can happen when some people try to do the same for more than one person. When I was younger and more naive, I genuinely cared about everyone in the world, but it drove me insane and I eventually learned that I have a capacity to only care for so many people. If I tried to love more than one person intimately, I would probably drive myself crazy, becuase sometimes even just one person is a lot to handle. That being said, everyone is different in their capacity to care and love.
If your girlfriend is reading a book on polyamory your relationship is probably over lol I feel like thats the sort of thing you need to start out in not gradually shift to
The thing is that if you’re not in a stable, trusting relationship, you should absolutely not try polyamory/open relationships. You can’t build new relationships like that if the foundation is compromised. Not only that but infidelity exists in polyamorous relationships - you set out the rules with your partner so if one of the rules is that they need to know the people you’re with and you keep one or more partners on the side unbeknownst to your partner, that’s still considered infidelity.
LordWinter I would agree with that. I've been burned by buy a polyamorous person who wasn't completely honest from the get-go. I am monogamous. It's where I'm at. I'm okay with that. I'm okay with people being polyamorous. But I think it's something you already are in the beginning, I don't think you can turn into a polyamorous person anymore and I can turn into a fire hydrant. I could be wrong about that, but this is my understanding as I have seen things. Even sometimes the people who are raised that way don't go that way comfortably.
based on what people I know have experienced, it does seem possible to slowly 'turn' poly, and for many people it seems to be a long and ongoing process. however, I do agree that it probably won't work for an already existing relationship unless both people are genuinely interested and very, very honest with themselves and each other. anything else will probably result in the end of the relationship.
Do whatever makes you happy. But for Christ's sakes, give your partner a heads up before you assume they're on board with this. For example, if someone tells you before you have a relationship with them that they are definitely monogamous, maybe don't agree to be in a monogamous relationship with them.... only to wait until they've invested a year, and inform them that they need to be cool if you fall in love with someone else. At which point you have the temerity to expect them to just suck it up,, and accept the that you want to invest Your Love in and screw other people all of a sudden, and insist that all of us "sit down like adults and figure out how this is going to work out between the three of us" ( regardless of the fact that we didn't agree to be in a polyamorous relationship from the beginning, and specifically so.) Fuck that noise. Just keep it between yourselves. If you want to be polyamorous, be with polyamorous people. I think that's really mature and really beautiful. Also really mature and really beautiful, monogamy for people who are monogamous in nature. Not fucking with people who are monogamous and insisting they need to change. Fuck on your own side of the fence. Be okay with that.
Personally, my heart wouldn’t allow me to love more than one person in a romantic way. But If that is what works for you you should not be ashamed of it and just go for it
I think what school of life is saying is that monogamy may be a response to us being human, to us being fragile and having our own weaknesses as a result of being human. I don't think their saying, " go fix yourself so that you can be polyamorous, but rather to own what being human means and what it comes with that. Not that that necessary means that polyamory won't work for some.
I’m in a polyamourus relationship right now and couldn’t be happier. We have been together for two years. But its not for everyone, and just like monogamous relationships each polya one is unique
Sooooooo she’s not gonna tell him she cheated with “Moe”?? I guess not unless he somehow feels the need to ask, then she can be “Radically Honest” 😩🤦🏾♂️
As a monogamously minded person who has tried (and failed) to adapt to polyamory for the sake of a supposedly woke but actually recklessly promiscuous (both emotionally and physically) partner, I found this both a bit contrived and also way too real. The offended commenters are fascinating - I interpreted this video to be depicting the failure of polyamory and the enduring emotional advantages of monogamy. Promoting polyamory it is not, but it does demonstrate the common emotional guilt trip of feeling too “weak” & human to rise to its lofty ideals. But I guess that even admitting the concept of poly exists and that monogamy maybe isn’t perfect either is way too triggering for some people 😂 I find this almost encouraging; unlike a lot of liberal content, at least this channel isn’t just preaching to the choir. Clearly lol!
Polyamory isn't for everyone. But as long as all parties are knowing and consenting, I can't see anything wrong with it. I know a couple married for 10 years, and they allow each other to have their fun with others. But to make one thing special for them: Their bedroom is off limits to others but themselves. They can hook up at others' places or use the guest bedroom or couch - but their own marriage bedroom is their personal special bed that no one else can use. That way there's a little something special that's only between their marriage to keep one another special.
Monogamous relationship also doesn't guarantee lifetime satisfaction. That's just your experience, sad that it didn't work out, but it is still your personal experience.
Amit Kumar Rai actually , relationship isn’t about lifetime satisfaction. It is about creating something together, being there for someone else when needed, knowing that someone is covering Your back; satisfaction is just a part of love
Same here...I was so happy until it got too complicated and everyone ended up hurt. My primary and I broke up too and its opened my eyes to the issues I was hiding from in poly..I hope it works for some people. I am too broken to make it work. I did my best..goodluck to anyone pursuing love in any sense. Its never easy
I am not sure if I like polyamory or if i would ever try it,but I just like the thought that every person has something new to offer to you,that can make you grow as a person,new ideas etc. one person cant give you everything life has to offer
My husband and I just had one of our best friends come out yo us as a polyamory couple. The wife introduced a girlfriend. The husband littelry broke down to my husband and I. I was shocked how hard my husband took it. It really upset him and I. We always know this couple to be so adorable but you can see how it only benefits one side. Selfish in opinion unless both sides are completely on board
This isn't new. This was the idea of many ancient American cultures. That we don't possess one another. And we're free to see who we please. I don't think capitalism has anything to do with why polyamory isn't popularized in modern times. I'd blame Christianity. Roast me if you want to.
I cant understand polyamory, not because i am a possessive person (i am certainly not), but i personally feel that investing in a relationship takes a lot of time and energy, but most importantly INTIMACY. So what i really dont understand, is how can people be so intimate with so many people without this affecting the quality of their sensitivity toward one person, that person that we feel close to more than anyone else. This question rises for me when i see actors in very intimate love scenes, and i ask myself, now that they can do this with a perfect stranger, do they feel the same with their real partners, is the quality of a touch the same ? is sensitivity as intense ? Anyway !
Yes! I wonder the same thing myself. Maybe it differs, depending on how sensitive you are? Maybe some people don't really get to a profound level of intimacy, preferring multiple "less intimate" relationships?
I wondering if that’s like saying i couldn’t Truly love my parents because there’s two of them. If I only had one parent, then I would truly be able to love them.
Less than a century ago, interracial (especially Black male, White female) couples were as taboo if not more so than polyamory is today. Now a video about polyamory starts by featuring an interracial couple. I wonder what we will be discussing 100 years from now.
My views on polyamory ? If it's what makes people happy and fulfilled, go for it ! If it's monoamory that makes you happy and fulfilled, then go for it too ! As an ace and aro person, the only way i can imagine a sort of relationship that is beyond friendship or family is with another ace aro person or a polyamorist. Because I think if the polyamorist has their other needs fulfilled in other relationships, we could have our own without sex or romantic stuff. More like a profond friendship with share or something like that, a relationship we build in our own terms. Sorry if you don't understand my words, english is my third (or fourth) language^^
I usually really like the perspectives of the School of Life, and was hopeful to see a possible expansion to include polyamory. But this video doesn't address polyamory as being a committed mutual relationship with three or more people... instead, it showed a couple attempting ethical non-monogamy, disliking it, and giving it up... which is fine, but it doesn't address what different successful situations can be like. And then the text frames polyamory as an attack on monogamy... Which feels, by extension, homo/bi/panphobic, since the likelihood of there being non-hetero love in a relationship with more than two ppl is really high. Was that this channel's intent?
Love becomes a Lifestyle Choice more and more. Sometimes i feel like i am not normal because this Love/relationship ideas from the 60s are becomming more and more popular, Sex often seems to be more about stimulation than about trust and commitment. I do not want to love more than one person. I dont want so share my partner with someone other. This is the kind of relationship i want. Take it or leave it.
You know what never works? Using fat letters to promote your own narrow world view while projection your own ideals of a relationship onto others but yea I guess being a dumdum is easy since it requires no efford of thinking whatsoever ;)
I think for some people this can work and it has the capability to be beautiful, but if done right. Also I see a lot of poly people putting down monogamous people. Its depressing to see these beautiful souls throwing judgement to others when we should all be practicing love.
@@sparrowseven6022 right, like when will people on both sides of this learn that it doesnt need to be explained...like do what you want...I'm monogamous but you dont see me trying to spread my monogamy on others lol..it doesnt need validation
All I want to add is that school of life needs to rethink how they make these videos. In most of their polyamory videos they say things like " stupid irrational people aren't good enough to handle polyamerous relationships" and that makes people who favor monogomy feel attacked. And no one who feels attacked will listen to anything you say no matter how true it is or not. Just saying.
I think you're missing the point. Humans aren't always rational beings and we certainly aren't perfect. If you noticed they even mentioned "if WE were a little more perfect and rational". Emotion is not always rational, art is not always rational, our responses aren't always rational. They were pointing to the human condition, not exactly only to monogamous individuals and then calling them irrational. Not saying then the opposite, that palymoury is not for any of us because humans aren't rational. Just that it's a bit more complicated then a clear cut answer. Irrationality isn't always a bad thing, life would be boring and people would be robots. What logic lies behind painting a picture or writing a song? Spending hundreds of thousands of dollars looking for extra terrestrials? Years of research and even more money to send people to the moon just to say "we did it first"? Mourning a loved one that we've lost even years after they've gone? A tad bit of irrationality is part of what makes us human and I'm glad it is, as life would be a whole lot bleaker without it. Palymoury may be the logical answer but we aren't pure logic, we are human. (To clarify, not saying that monogamy is irrational at all. Just that people may try to find palymoury as a logical answer to a broken relationship but this isn't necessarily a good answer)
@@sebastianelytron8450 And what kind of person would that make you? Finding a comment that may be quick to say "they are judging" and then to say that the person who made the comment is a problem. They atleast had a point presented from a calm argument. And all you have to say is, "you're the reason why they call us the snowflake generation"? Could you atleast give the benefit of the doubt or refute with an argument rather than reading an invalid argument and then claiming the person is the problem?
In a perfect world the open relationship concept could work but with people being what they are jealousy and insecurities could easily take root. Therefore very few couples could be able to pull it off.
I'm confused whether the comments- saying they're disgusted and angry- are AGAINST polyamory and they just looked at the title, or they are FOR polyamory and they don't like that guy for throwing away the books.
Polyamory isn’t for everyone, or even most people. A lot of times it can be a way to escape the unfulfilled desires and curiosity one has. However, this video basically shows polyamory as about “fucking everyone” and concludes with them throwing those dumb polyamory books in the trash. TAKE THAT. I find this video to be really lacking of different perspectives. It might’ve been better if they got the idea from a healthy functioning poly couple, because those do exists. This video treats polyamory as a failed philosophical position and not something many people find fulfilling even if those people aren’t the majority. The whole narrative also justifies all the people who are judgmental about the couples decision to do polyamory rather then be supportive. Doing a video like this that has a narrative is much different then just making a philosophical argument like usually happens on this channel. In conclusion, really disappointed by this video, but I hope this series can improve in the future.
My girlfriend and I are polyamorous and have been together for over 6 months. We have a beautiful loving honest and respectful relationship which is far more open and feels far more rational safe than any other relationship I’ve had. This video seems to have very little point to me. The conversations seemed vaguely realistic and the point that monogamy is the easy option as it is pretty much the default one is valid but this film seemed not really to know where it was going or what it wanted to say.
I think it could possibly work in certain situations, but you’ll have to have a certain level of maturity and trust that the majority of people don’t have.
Bottom line! Exclusivity DOES NOT EQUAL Commitment. Repressing your subconscious desires is not the same as commiting to someone. It has never been about whoring around. It's about loving people in a way where you do not want to restrict them at all. Even sexually. And where both parties equally enjoy the fact that other person is enjoy themselves and that it does not make people love you less. Love is not a finite resource. Do you decide you love your father and then you have no capacity to care about your mother? Well the same is true of relationships you don't stop loving your partner the moment you kiss someone else. You only don't love someone if you lie or hide things. So if we communicate everything. And are honest. It could work fine.
I personally don't believe in marriage, but raising children could be messy. Idk the logistics yet but I'm only 23 and I'm quite happy in my 4.5 year polyamourous relationship.
My problem is it isn't based on anything other than opinion. It's an emotional plea with no philosophical or scientific foundation to back up the claims they are making. They used to be much better laying out the reason and premises that lead to their conclusions. They have stopped doing so perhaps out of laziness or are simply expressing opinions now without an argument. If that's the case I can get unwarranted opinions just about anywhere, the local church, street corner, the pub down the road,... It's fine to have an opinion on something but if it's not backed up by more than gut feelings I simply couldn't care less what that opinion is and I'm not sure why anyone else should either. I didn't downvote but I'm sure as hell not going to give it a thumbs up.
Wrong wrong wrong. Accepting it, does NOT mean you have to act on it. And NEVER throw away books. It shows a lack of understanding of acceptance. True Acceptance frees the mind.
Im so disapointed with the comment section... I thought viewers of tsol are on particular relatively high vibration, but i was so wrong. It repels me from using your app to socialise...
my thoughts on the video: while I appreciate you guys dealing with important relationship topics in new and creative manners (the acting was pretty good on this one!), this video seemed pretty onedimensional in substance, mostly due to you pushing the idea of poly being the ideal, perfect mindset in the end, without supporting it in any way. I feel that's what has many people feeling offended and attacked and stops them from engaging with the topic in any way. it just feels judgmental, as if mono-minded people were somehow lacking in the emotional and intellectual skills necessary to achieve 'proper' relationships. you probably didn't mean it that way, but the result stays the same. anyways, I'm glad there is still a little bit of engagement and conversation happening in the comments. I do think there is a lot that can be learned about relationships in general by engaging with this topic, and I'll gladly watch future videos on the matter!
@@JonAaargh How can you support something you can't practice or don't like at all? Do you support politicians you look down upon because their ideas might be seen as good ideas by somebody else?
@@mattpck your example is missing the point. If you are straight and can't fathom to have gay sex, does that mean every gay person is wrong and needs to be corrected ? Same with polyamory, if it doesn't work for you that's ok. But keep your nose out of other people's business
@@mattpck By simply acknowledging their right to exist ,treat people who are in those relationships with respect like everyone else and simply be a decent human being? Support in this case isn't specified any further but from the context and phrasing I just derived the conclusion that this person is going to shame people for their orientation and thus far I felt the need to point out that this person maybe should reconsider their Ideas. Your analogy lacks any connection to this sort of situation whatsoever btw.
@Steelo Brim That comment of yours was not as deep as you are imagining it to be. So, you re read your comment, slowly if you like, what have you written over there.
My ex took my kids and left me for a poly relationship. It’s not healthy for my kids and it’s wrong that I couldn’t give her enough. It’s a toxic idea that ruined my life and mental health.
I liked this channel back when you where using reason and rationale to present an argument with substance to your audience. You have instead begun to make videos like this, pronouncements and conclusions with no substance. Where are you getting this answer? What are your premises? Are you looking Any actual data or have some philosophical framing to back up your statements? I'm 90% sure I agree with what little argument you made here but this video was lazy, pandered to emotion and as far as I can tell the rock bottom for you guys intilectually. I want reasoned arguments of substance, pronouncements are handed out weekly at any church or soapbox. You can do better,... You have done better. Be better.
I am dissapointed with this representation of a Polyamory couple because it is the epitome of stereotypes and what you expect to happen, normalizing all the friends dissaproval and dramatizing the womans cognitive dissonance and dishonesty nevermind revealing the real reason for their trial to be the womans desire for someone else. It would have made more sense to show multiple couples/individuals in different situations living their pollyamory lifestyle- instead of one depiction of kids trying to figure it out. If this is what sticking to one perspective looks like I would have rather not seen it. Thanks for covering this I guess.. and solidifying for many their negitive stigmas. Using the word "perfect"...really? If you by chance make another video expanding on perspectives, Id like to see a relationship that began as a polyamory one and stayed one, showing some strugles they faced and how they overcame them and how it can be for some people, while also not being for everyone- and maybe hitting base on attatchment styles too. Another idea, monogomus person falls for a polly folk, they struggle with the adgustment and falls for their partners lover and how they would all handle that and how it might look after the passion and confusion dies down and it just 3 people that love eachother living their lame lives. Just an example, there are plenty real life examples to choose from- not saying this video doesnt roughly depict someones actual experince - but it is so unbearably biased and fitting into every stereotype that this must have wrote its own self! Leads me to beleive that there must not have been a single person practicing polyamory on your team. Showing some of the actual struggles in polyamory and explaining why it can't be for everyone would have not only been the better thing to do for education and understanding's sake but it also would have been a better watch. Ya'll can write better scpript than this, come on!❤
A solution to the tensions and compromises of a long term relationship ship? That IS a long term relationship. Others are free to do as they wish, however, though my opinion still remains that sacrificing what you could have in other people to make an effort cooperating with one is the most healthy and mutually beneficial love.
Polyamory is quite literally wrong. You can’t go round mixing Greek and Latin words like that. Amore comes from a Latin root, and poly from theGreek. Multiamorous would be a better choice of word. Joking aside, I have never known of a lasting poly relationship in my direct experience, but I do know of 2 murders that happened because of the jealousy issue. Maybe things are different with the tindr generation, but I think that human nature is ill suited to it and very few people actually tell the truth to all parties. Usually I think there is an unconfident person that will say or do anything to keep their relationship with the one they love, even if it means sharing with a friend. Human romantic bonds are are the strongest emotions we have other than the bonds we have with our children. They should be taken a bit more seriously.
Monogamy is the most stable form of relationship for humans it's been practiced for thousands of years there's plenty of research on this I don't understand why none of it was presented in the video, its a pretty dangers practice for relationships it really shouldn't be underestimated.
Polyamory is “love” without sacrifice, which makes it an oxymoron. It’s for the weak that can’t commit to anything in life. Go ahead and try it, relish in the pride of your “woke”-ness. In the end it sounds great, but really just leaves the salt out of the steak. People overthink things; this isn’t something to overthink.
School of Life hits the lowest of lowest mixing type of love to political and economic type. ( 7 mins is not enough to explain polyamory ). One thing always will remain constant: Every great company starts to become popular with great quality content(service) after time takes over the quality material degrades over time when views are not dependent on quality anymore.
Polyamory would work if we were all perfectly rational and in complete control of our emotions. Unfortunately that is far from the case. Add to that the hassles of managing shared assets, children and family relationships with all your lovers and you’ve got a recipe for disaster. I don’t think such relationships are wrong or degenerate but simply they’re too much of a pain in the ass to make successful over the long term compared to a monogamous couple.
Murilo Coelho Pires de Almeida How is it sad? There are people who find the idea of ‘polyamory’ truly horrible. Are they not allowed to think and feel the way they do?
@@kornuithildr4129 Everyone is free to say how polyarmory doesn't work for them, but outright calling people "degenerative" or similar really does not qualify as a base of an intellectual and mutually respectful discussion
Murilo Coelho Pires de Almeida People like you are the most annoying kind of virtue signaller. Everything, and everyone that disagrees with you is hateful huh?
If someone is in a monogamous relationship and then proposes to switch to polyamorous, they are shady. If someone gets caught cheating and proposes it, they are extremely shady.
People in here using the term “degenerate” unironically, as if there is a universal definition for normalcy. Just don’t hurt other people and be honest.
The comments truly are prove, that even channels with intelligent topics don't seem to attract intelligent people. Seriously guys, thinking you have any say in how other people ought to live their private life is ridiculous beyond reason.
I disagree with polyamoury, more people equals more problems. I'd rather have quality over quantity, love, I personally feel would get diluted with more people. I don't see it as the logical solution that any rational person would come to. It may be for a few people but not everyone, I also don't see monogomy as a "brain washing" from society. Although monogomy isn't the natural state of humans neither is polyamoury. We've been polygamous for hundreds and thousands of years, the primitive idea that only a few men had the right to breed. I don't agree with that either but our minds still work that way in a fundamental level. I think it's a cold and dry thing to share someone you love, moments stop being special when they're not exclusively with you. That's just my two cents though.
I embrace a sexually open/swinging lifestyle because it’s natural, but I’ve also found that it filters out Narcissistic personality types. 60%+ of monogamous marriages will fail, 70% of people in monogamous marriages will cheat. Many of the monogamous marriages that do “work” are PLAGUED with emotional and physical abuse. Yet insecure and jealous monogamous people have the audacity to say what is “right” and “good”. I love dating girls who like girls.
Um sources please. The divorce rate is less that 50% and still going down and the cheating rate is 20%. Just like you have found so many monogamous couples that are plagued with abuse, I have seen the same in open or ones that just end them breaking up. Just do what makes you happy is my stance. psychcentral.com/blog/how-common-is-cheating-infidelity-really/ www.google.com/amp/s /www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/heart-the-matter/201704/do-half-all-marriages-really-end-in-divorce%3famp
There's a difference between pointing out the reality of polyamory; pointing at the gaping holes in the myth of monogamy- and living as though jealousy and fragility didn't exist. I will always point it out that monogamy and marriage have always been a social construct, but I won't say that people should use that as an excuse to just do whatever. Furthermore, the real issue with the reality of polyamory is that there are laws that force monogamy onto people, and this just shouldn't be the capacity of a society. If you marry someone and you don't mesh, it's not anyone else's business whether you stay together or split. Divorce is costly and a legal mess. It should be a cleaner break because that shit winds up screwing with children the most. Polyamory is the reality of the human psyche because we are driven by natural impulses to procreate. So, when a husband cheats, or a wife cheats, or the two are simply annoyed or miserable with each other, it should be very simple to separate, especially when either have been reported as abusive. But socially constructed norms have made it so that abusive parents are a constant pox, and divorce is a long and drawn out dog and pony show that gets in the way of everyone's daily lives.
I'm just here to say that monogamy isnt a social construct. Humans do have neurological structures and processes found in other monogamous animals but not to the extent that we are completely monogamous
I love how even though this channel tends to the left philosophically, they still made the honest case that monogamy isn't a capitalist conspiracy ~ it's natural
I think polyamory is bullshit and heres why. When you have more than one partner this literally means that you have to start to split time between them everytime you are with the other one it is time of the other one. This goes from snuggling to having sex unless the others are gay same time then you can snuggle and have sex almost same time. One person only have set of parts and all other partners get's time devided between the one partner who has many. If I ever would be in that situation it would be me and only ladies not like lady and 2 or more men. I don't wan't nothing to do with other men while I'm on relationship.
Trying to re-invent the wheel again, only it may be more helpful to listen to other people who have tried it, It isn’t ownership just the appeal of commitment as very sexy. You can still be aware of oneness with the many as a Spiritual practice
It's ok if you are not interested in the topic. don't click the videos. some people are and they are happy about the content. don't forget, the makers of this channel are free to talk about anything they like, they have no obligation to create the type of content you like.
This video doesn’t do polyamory justice. It works great for some people. Some others need monogamy. But polyamory is more than the biases of what this video espouses
I actually am in a poliamory relationship for more than 3 years now. Each part respecting, caring and loving each other. I wouldn't like it to be any other way.
I would kindly disagree with the video. Although poliamory is not fit for everyone, it can be wonderful if it involves people that are communicative and comfortable with it. Also I wouldn't say we are "perfect" and "rational" because of that, but that we just fit this way.
I'm all for monogamy and being faithful, etc. But as a straight guy I know for a fact that deep down every red blooded man alive has fantasies of multiple women, threesomes, etc. Does NOT mean we should act it though!
Sebastian Elytron you’re social conditioning is insane. Women love multiple partners and many fantasize about multiple guys at once. Making this about “red blooded” is Beta male virtue signaling.
@@sebastianelytron8450 it is not as simple as you make it out to be. Many females in many species will mate with multiple males and that for a number of reasons. 1. females will have offsprings of different males, therefore spreading the risk that their one partner produces only shit offsprings. 2. even for a single impregnation some females will have sex with multiple males. the "healthiest" sperm will make it, unhealthy sperm will fail. 3. food. in some species the female will attract many males, mate with some but ultimately eat them all. this is a good source of proteins Having said all that.. it actually doesn't really matter what other species do. If some people are happy having multiple relationships, just let them be. be offended by something else, like the US government shutting down because of incompetent politicians.
From experience. aside from the .0001% of people this works for, if your SO brings "polyamory" in the middle of your relationship, save yourself the time and energy and just drop the fucker right then and there.
What ever works for you I guess, just know that 99% of the time it's a mistake and you're opening the box of Pandora. Beeing together with somebody for a long time is work and if you don't treat it like that, the reality about it will hit you hard and you will think that it's not working out. But if you acknowledge that there will be hard times and struggle, then your relationship will be ready for hard times and survive. And surely the answer is not to bang around with other people bc the sex got boring. This won't fix anything and will estrange you from your partner.
Polyamory vs monogamy is a false dichotomy Monogamy is a system of rules governing your relationship Poly is a principle of having the relationships structure everyone wants, poly people can choose to be faithfully monogamous with a partner, but it is a choice, not a right of ownership the other partner has. Also, kind of...fuck this “oh, we’re just not strong enough for” over represented heteronormative ‘friends with benefits’ couple based idea of poly all media wants to peddle >
It's usually the one who is sexually tired of the person he/she is involved with, or who's a psychopath who craves excitement and *can't* put down roots with just one partner, who broaches the topic of opening one's...erm, mind!
Don't talk about V.D....S.T.D.'s...just find your freedom....B.S. I know couples that are now dead because there outside lovers were not very honest. AID's,Herpes ETC. is the risk you take....relationships are built on TRUST. Trust in judgment,NOW... who gave who what? Who's child is it and what do they now have.........
Remember, everyone, the way we decide to organise the base unit of our society, possibly the most important factor for social cohesion, shouldn't be about what's best for children, most economically productive, most stable, best for mental health, it should be about your genitalia and who you want to bone at this exact moment. What do you mean, Polyamory doesn't work? Just look at this example of this tiny indigenous tribe who have been stagnant for thousands of years and who's society couldn't be more diametrically opposed to our own in every way, where they had a polyamrous family one time! It can't fail! What do you mean, I'm cherry picking? Love is love, bigot, it's 2019!
This is a very strange video, it kind of raises and opinion or view point and then just fucks it off with the idea that we are emotionally invested in these characters enough to care about their relationship as if we've been following them for long enough to care. I dont understand the purpose of this video
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What are your views on polyamory? Let us know in the comments below and to join your fellow School of Life audience members, be sure to download our new free app: bit.ly/2SQxMeN
As someone who is in a functional yet not perfect polyamorous relationship I find most of the comments here to be misrepresenting polyamority and being very against it. Talk about everything with the person and I mean everything down to how you have sex. Be like best friends who aren't afraid to share. Of course you need honor your emotions and feelings and be true to yourself about what you want from each individual. It's about love and growth not sex.
Acting is surprisingly good.
When you add more people into the equation it probably will become even more complicated than what a monogamous relationship can be.
now that's a statement I can get behind. I've been scrolling through the comments and they're full of vitriol and hyperbole, and it's pretty sad ...
As an overly anxious person, I find it hard to keep up with one romantic interest at a time, I cannot imagine having to juggle several interests all at once, rather than enjoyable I see that as something extremely exhausting. But whatever floats your boat as they say.
Me ☝️
*Mixed feelings intensify* I'm polyamorous, so this was obviously scary to click on, but... I can't even tell what the point is. My boyfriend said after watching it that it doesn't really seem to be helpful for anyone, and I have to agree. It sounded like cheating at one point, which is very much not the same as polyamory. It sounded like you were saying monogamous people are weak, but also that polyamory can't work. I just don't understand the message here.
Edit: it's also not something you can just start in the middle of a relationship. You have to lay that shit on the table first chance you can lest someone gets hurt.
Jealousy: *exists*
Polyamory without total honesty is pure madness.
Polyamory is different from a relationship where you can sleep with other people and not commit to them.
Some people go crazy when they try to love and care for only one person, but the opposite can happen when some people try to do the same for more than one person. When I was younger and more naive, I genuinely cared about everyone in the world, but it drove me insane and I eventually learned that I have a capacity to only care for so many people. If I tried to love more than one person intimately, I would probably drive myself crazy, becuase sometimes even just one person is a lot to handle. That being said, everyone is different in their capacity to care and love.
‘Open your mind’
‘No you shut your legs’ ... lol
If your girlfriend is reading a book on polyamory your relationship is probably over lol
I feel like thats the sort of thing you need to start out in not gradually shift to
The thing is that if you’re not in a stable, trusting relationship, you should absolutely not try polyamory/open relationships. You can’t build new relationships like that if the foundation is compromised.
Not only that but infidelity exists in polyamorous relationships - you set out the rules with your partner so if one of the rules is that they need to know the people you’re with and you keep one or more partners on the side unbeknownst to your partner, that’s still considered infidelity.
LordWinter I would agree with that. I've been burned by buy a polyamorous person who wasn't completely honest from the get-go. I am monogamous. It's where I'm at. I'm okay with that. I'm okay with people being polyamorous. But I think it's something you already are in the beginning, I don't think you can turn into a polyamorous person anymore and I can turn into a fire hydrant. I could be wrong about that, but this is my understanding as I have seen things. Even sometimes the people who are raised that way don't go that way comfortably.
based on what people I know have experienced, it does seem possible to slowly 'turn' poly, and for many people it seems to be a long and ongoing process. however, I do agree that it probably won't work for an already existing relationship unless both people are genuinely interested and very, very honest with themselves and each other. anything else will probably result in the end of the relationship.
Do whatever makes you happy. But for Christ's sakes, give your partner a heads up before you assume they're on board with this. For example, if someone tells you before you have a relationship with them that they are definitely monogamous, maybe don't agree to be in a monogamous relationship with them.... only to wait until they've invested a year, and inform them that they need to be cool if you fall in love with someone else. At which point you have the temerity to expect them to just suck it up,, and accept the that you want to invest Your Love in and screw other people all of a sudden, and insist that all of us "sit down like adults and figure out how this is going to work out between the three of us" ( regardless of the fact that we didn't agree to be in a polyamorous relationship from the beginning, and specifically so.) Fuck that noise. Just keep it between yourselves. If you want to be polyamorous, be with polyamorous people. I think that's really mature and really beautiful. Also really mature and really beautiful, monogamy for people who are monogamous in nature. Not fucking with people who are monogamous and insisting they need to change. Fuck on your own side of the fence. Be okay with that.
Personally, my heart wouldn’t allow me to love more than one person in a romantic way. But If that is what works for you you should not be ashamed of it and just go for it
It always be a biased issue when one don't really knows what love is. Sex is not love, posession is not Love, ego is not love.
So wait she cheated on him, didn't tell him. Now they live happily ever after. modern American love story
I think what school of life is saying is that monogamy may be a response to us being human, to us being fragile and having our own weaknesses as a result of being human. I don't think their saying, "
go fix yourself so that you can be polyamorous, but rather to own what being human means and what it comes with that. Not that that necessary means that polyamory won't work for some.
I’m in a polyamourus relationship right now and couldn’t be happier. We have been together for two years. But its not for everyone, and just like monogamous relationships each polya one is unique
Sooooooo she’s not gonna tell him she cheated with “Moe”?? I guess not unless he somehow feels the need to ask, then she can be “Radically Honest” 😩🤦🏾♂️
a lot of ppl can't even find one partner whom they could trust; and you talking about having many 😹
Cheating and polyamory are not the same thing. Being honest *up front* is the whole point.
As a monogamously minded person who has tried (and failed) to adapt to polyamory for the sake of a supposedly woke but actually recklessly promiscuous (both emotionally and physically) partner, I found this both a bit contrived and also way too real. The offended commenters are fascinating - I interpreted this video to be depicting the failure of polyamory and the enduring emotional advantages of monogamy. Promoting polyamory it is not, but it does demonstrate the common emotional guilt trip of feeling too “weak” & human to rise to its lofty ideals. But I guess that even admitting the concept of poly exists and that monogamy maybe isn’t perfect either is way too triggering for some people 😂 I find this almost encouraging; unlike a lot of liberal content, at least this channel isn’t just preaching to the choir. Clearly lol!
Polyamory isn't for everyone. But as long as all parties are knowing and consenting, I can't see anything wrong with it. I know a couple married for 10 years, and they allow each other to have their fun with others. But to make one thing special for them: Their bedroom is off limits to others but themselves. They can hook up at others' places or use the guest bedroom or couch - but their own marriage bedroom is their personal special bed that no one else can use. That way there's a little something special that's only between their marriage to keep one another special.
I was in a poly relationship last year, it was amazing until the minute it wasn’t. Then it was the worst.
isnt that just the same with any relationship that goes bad?
Monogamous relationship also doesn't guarantee lifetime satisfaction. That's just your experience, sad that it didn't work out, but it is still your personal experience.
Amit Kumar Rai actually , relationship isn’t about lifetime satisfaction. It is about creating something together, being there for someone else when needed, knowing that someone is covering Your back; satisfaction is just a part of love
@@acfatemi Agree! But my response was to a particular person in a particular context here.
Same here...I was so happy until it got too complicated and everyone ended up hurt. My primary and I broke up too and its opened my eyes to the issues I was hiding from in poly..I hope it works for some people. I am too broken to make it work. I did my best..goodluck to anyone pursuing love in any sense. Its never easy
To each their own. One person is difficult enough as it is. For me.
I am not sure if I like polyamory or if i would ever try it,but I just like the thought that every person has something new to offer to you,that can make you grow as a person,new ideas etc. one person cant give you everything life has to offer
Being polyamory only works if you’re single
My husband and I just had one of our best friends come out yo us as a polyamory couple. The wife introduced a girlfriend. The husband littelry broke down to my husband and I. I was shocked how hard my husband took it. It really upset him and I. We always know this couple to be so adorable but you can see how it only benefits one side. Selfish in opinion unless both sides are completely on board
This isn't new. This was the idea of many ancient American cultures. That we don't possess one another. And we're free to see who we please. I don't think capitalism has anything to do with why polyamory isn't popularized in modern times. I'd blame Christianity. Roast me if you want to.
I cant understand polyamory, not because i am a possessive person (i am certainly not), but i personally feel that investing in a relationship takes a lot of time and energy, but most importantly INTIMACY. So what i really dont understand, is how can people be so intimate with so many people without this affecting the quality of their sensitivity toward one person, that person that we feel close to more than anyone else.
This question rises for me when i see actors in very intimate love scenes, and i ask myself, now that they can do this with a perfect stranger, do they feel the same with their real partners, is the quality of a touch the same ? is sensitivity as intense ?
Anyway !
Yes! I wonder the same thing myself. Maybe it differs, depending on how sensitive you are? Maybe some people don't really get to a profound level of intimacy, preferring multiple "less intimate" relationships?
I wondering if that’s like saying i couldn’t Truly love my parents because there’s two of them. If I only had one parent, then I would truly be able to love them.
Less than a century ago, interracial (especially Black male, White female) couples were as taboo if not more so than polyamory is today. Now a video about polyamory starts by featuring an interracial couple. I wonder what we will be discussing 100 years from now.
My views on polyamory ? If it's what makes people happy and fulfilled, go for it ! If it's monoamory that makes you happy and fulfilled, then go for it too ! As an ace and aro person, the only way i can imagine a sort of relationship that is beyond friendship or family is with another ace aro person or a polyamorist. Because I think if the polyamorist has their other needs fulfilled in other relationships, we could have our own without sex or romantic stuff. More like a profond friendship with share or something like that, a relationship we build in our own terms. Sorry if you don't understand my words, english is my third (or fourth) language^^
I usually really like the perspectives of the School of Life, and was hopeful to see a possible expansion to include polyamory. But this video doesn't address polyamory as being a committed mutual relationship with three or more people... instead, it showed a couple attempting ethical non-monogamy, disliking it, and giving it up... which is fine, but it doesn't address what different successful situations can be like. And then the text frames polyamory as an attack on monogamy... Which feels, by extension, homo/bi/panphobic, since the likelihood of there being non-hetero love in a relationship with more than two ppl is really high. Was that this channel's intent?
Wtf? Monogamy has been around before capitalism or an abstract understanding of market economics in general.
Love becomes a Lifestyle Choice more and more.
Sometimes i feel like i am not normal because this Love/relationship ideas from the 60s are becomming more and more popular, Sex often seems to be more about stimulation than about trust and commitment.
I do not want to love more than one person.
I dont want so share my partner with someone other.
This is the kind of relationship i want.
Take it or leave it.
*Never works, if you truly respect yourself. If you want to sleep around, then don't commit.*
That's just misperception of you!
*Commitment isn't a clear cut answer. Just because you're seeing someone, doesn't mean you're committed to them.*
"Never works" is quite a strong claim, considering that there are people in happy polyamorous relationships
I agree.
You know what never works? Using fat letters to promote your own narrow world view while projection your own ideals of a relationship onto others but yea I guess being a dumdum is easy since it requires no efford of thinking whatsoever ;)
I think for some people this can work and it has the capability to be beautiful, but if done right. Also I see a lot of poly people putting down monogamous people. Its depressing to see these beautiful souls throwing judgement to others when we should all be practicing love.
It's probably retaliation more than anything. Just take a look at the other comments around here. lol
@@sparrowseven6022 right, like when will people on both sides of this learn that it doesnt need to be explained...like do what you want...I'm monogamous but you dont see me trying to spread my monogamy on others lol..it doesnt need validation
This is really beautiful. I love how well it's made, and the spirit behind it. And the final tag about being more perfect and rational is amazing!
All I want to add is that school of life needs to rethink how they make these videos. In most of their polyamory videos they say things like " stupid irrational people aren't good enough to handle polyamerous relationships" and that makes people who favor monogomy feel attacked. And no one who feels attacked will listen to anything you say no matter how true it is or not. Just saying.
People like you are why they call us the snowflake generation. Grow up.
I think you're missing the point. Humans aren't always rational beings and we certainly aren't perfect. If you noticed they even mentioned "if WE were a little more perfect and rational". Emotion is not always rational, art is not always rational, our responses aren't always rational. They were pointing to the human condition, not exactly only to monogamous individuals and then calling them irrational. Not saying then the opposite, that palymoury is not for any of us because humans aren't rational. Just that it's a bit more complicated then a clear cut answer. Irrationality isn't always a bad thing, life would be boring and people would be robots. What logic lies behind painting a picture or writing a song? Spending hundreds of thousands of dollars looking for extra terrestrials? Years of research and even more money to send people to the moon just to say "we did it first"? Mourning a loved one that we've lost even years after they've gone? A tad bit of irrationality is part of what makes us human and I'm glad it is, as life would be a whole lot bleaker without it. Palymoury may be the logical answer but we aren't pure logic, we are human. (To clarify, not saying that monogamy is irrational at all. Just that people may try to find palymoury as a logical answer to a broken relationship but this isn't necessarily a good answer)
@@sebastianelytron8450 And what kind of person would that make you? Finding a comment that may be quick to say "they are judging" and then to say that the person who made the comment is a problem. They atleast had a point presented from a calm argument. And all you have to say is, "you're the reason why they call us the snowflake generation"? Could you atleast give the benefit of the doubt or refute with an argument rather than reading an invalid argument and then claiming the person is the problem?
@@isaach.1135 "Feeling attacked" is not a valid reason to stop listening (even and especially when, as OP said, what's said is true)
Fact is we're not perfect nor perfectly rational, and we never will be
In a perfect world the open relationship concept could work but with people being what they are jealousy and insecurities could easily take root.
Therefore very few couples could be able to pull it off.
I'm confused whether the comments- saying they're disgusted and angry- are AGAINST polyamory and they just looked at the title, or they are FOR polyamory and they don't like that guy for throwing away the books.
I think a lot of them didn't even watch until the end...
Polyamory isn’t for everyone, or even most people. A lot of times it can be a way to escape the unfulfilled desires and curiosity one has. However, this video basically shows polyamory as about “fucking everyone” and concludes with them throwing those dumb polyamory books in the trash. TAKE THAT. I find this video to be really lacking of different perspectives. It might’ve been better if they got the idea from a healthy functioning poly couple, because those do exists. This video treats polyamory as a failed philosophical position and not something many people find fulfilling even if those people aren’t the majority. The whole narrative also justifies all the people who are judgmental about the couples decision to do polyamory rather then be supportive. Doing a video like this that has a narrative is much different then just making a philosophical argument like usually happens on this channel. In conclusion, really disappointed by this video, but I hope this series can improve in the future.
My girlfriend and I are polyamorous and have been together for over 6 months. We have a beautiful loving honest and respectful relationship which is far more open and feels far more rational safe than any other relationship I’ve had. This video seems to have very little point to me. The conversations seemed vaguely realistic and the point that monogamy is the easy option as it is pretty much the default one is valid but this film seemed not really to know where it was going or what it wanted to say.
1:22 Woah, don't bring capitalism into this.
Nessie Andrew just watched this part
yep.. this channel is going deep with the agenda.
Whatever works for you. Just be happy and fulfilled and content and honest with yourself and those in your life.♡♡♡♡
This. If people want open relationships, be swingers, wife sharing, etc. I'd rather they did that than turn to crime, drugs, etc.
@@acfatemi just report him and be done with it
Damien Blackthorne at the expense of others????
I think it could possibly work in certain situations, but you’ll have to have a certain level of maturity and trust that the majority of people don’t have.
Bottom line! Exclusivity DOES NOT EQUAL Commitment. Repressing your subconscious desires is not the same as commiting to someone. It has never been about whoring around. It's about loving people in a way where you do not want to restrict them at all. Even sexually. And where both parties equally enjoy the fact that other person is enjoy themselves and that it does not make people love you less. Love is not a finite resource. Do you decide you love your father and then you have no capacity to care about your mother? Well the same is true of relationships you don't stop loving your partner the moment you kiss someone else. You only don't love someone if you lie or hide things. So if we communicate everything. And are honest. It could work fine.
I personally don't believe in marriage, but raising children could be messy. Idk the logistics yet but I'm only 23 and I'm quite happy in my 4.5 year polyamourous relationship.
GET A BIGGER BED FIRST!! DAAAAMN!!
I don't understand the downvotes. The video was very well written, very well played and amazingly relatable! Very human. And I loved it!
My problem is it isn't based on anything other than opinion. It's an emotional plea with no philosophical or scientific foundation to back up the claims they are making. They used to be much better laying out the reason and premises that lead to their conclusions. They have stopped doing so perhaps out of laziness or are simply expressing opinions now without an argument.
If that's the case I can get unwarranted opinions just about anywhere, the local church, street corner, the pub down the road,... It's fine to have an opinion on something but if it's not backed up by more than gut feelings I simply couldn't care less what that opinion is and I'm not sure why anyone else should either.
I didn't downvote but I'm sure as hell not going to give it a thumbs up.
Wrong wrong wrong. Accepting it, does NOT mean you have to act on it. And NEVER throw away books. It shows a lack of understanding of acceptance. True Acceptance frees the mind.
Im so disapointed with the comment section... I thought viewers of tsol are on particular relatively high vibration, but i was so wrong. It repels me from using your app to socialise...
The atmosphere on the app is different. Most users are kind and very open-minded.
my thoughts on the video: while I appreciate you guys dealing with important relationship topics in new and creative manners (the acting was pretty good on this one!), this video seemed pretty onedimensional in substance, mostly due to you pushing the idea of poly being the ideal, perfect mindset in the end, without supporting it in any way. I feel that's what has many people feeling offended and attacked and stops them from engaging with the topic in any way. it just feels judgmental, as if mono-minded people were somehow lacking in the emotional and intellectual skills necessary to achieve 'proper' relationships. you probably didn't mean it that way, but the result stays the same.
anyways, I'm glad there is still a little bit of engagement and conversation happening in the comments. I do think there is a lot that can be learned about relationships in general by engaging with this topic, and I'll gladly watch future videos on the matter!
Polyamory is working pretty well for me. To each his/her own I guess.
And do you genuinely love them?
I would guess they do, considering they said it was "working pretty well" for them.
the idea of sharing my partner with someone else and calling that love makes me physically sick. I will never support polyamory.
I agree too much.
So just because it won't work for you makes it unviable for everyone else?
@@JonAaargh How can you support something you can't practice or don't like at all? Do you support politicians you look down upon because their ideas might be seen as good ideas by somebody else?
@@mattpck your example is missing the point. If you are straight and can't fathom to have gay sex, does that mean every gay person is wrong and needs to be corrected ?
Same with polyamory, if it doesn't work for you that's ok. But keep your nose out of other people's business
@@mattpck By simply acknowledging their right to exist ,treat people who are in those relationships with respect like everyone else and simply be a decent human being?
Support in this case isn't specified any further but from the context and phrasing I just derived the conclusion that this person is going to shame people for their orientation and thus far I felt the need to point out that this person maybe should reconsider their Ideas.
Your analogy lacks any connection to this sort of situation whatsoever btw.
"Capitalism has taught us..." That right there makes that idea discardable
Respect for people and their lifestyle choices, they don’t hurt nobody.
@Steelo Brim This comment of yours just affected the whole society, please delete it!
@Steelo Brim That comment of yours was not as deep as you are imagining it to be. So, you re read your comment, slowly if you like, what have you written over there.
When you are in a relationship but still want to see other people
I agree.
When you want to let everyone else smash but need someone to help you pay the bills
Wtf Buddhist thought was not polyamory!
My ex took my kids and left me for a poly relationship. It’s not healthy for my kids and it’s wrong that I couldn’t give her enough. It’s a toxic idea that ruined my life and mental health.
I liked this channel back when you where using reason and rationale to present an argument with substance to your audience.
You have instead begun to make videos like this, pronouncements and conclusions with no substance. Where are you getting this answer? What are your premises? Are you looking Any actual data or have some philosophical framing to back up your statements?
I'm 90% sure I agree with what little argument you made here but this video was lazy, pandered to emotion and as far as I can tell the rock bottom for you guys intilectually.
I want reasoned arguments of substance, pronouncements are handed out weekly at any church or soapbox. You can do better,... You have done better. Be better.
I'm personally monogamous, but I found this video super thought provoking. Don't listen to all of these negative nellies, you're ahead of your time!
I am dissapointed with this representation of a Polyamory couple because it is the epitome of stereotypes and what you expect to happen, normalizing all the friends dissaproval and dramatizing the womans cognitive dissonance and dishonesty nevermind revealing the real reason for their trial to be the womans desire for someone else. It would have made more sense to show multiple couples/individuals in different situations living their pollyamory lifestyle- instead of one depiction of kids trying to figure it out. If this is what sticking to one perspective looks like I would have rather not seen it. Thanks for covering this I guess.. and solidifying for many their negitive stigmas. Using the word "perfect"...really?
If you by chance make another video expanding on perspectives, Id like to see a relationship that began as a polyamory one and stayed one, showing some strugles they faced and how they overcame them and how it can be for some people, while also not being for everyone- and maybe hitting base on attatchment styles too. Another idea, monogomus person falls for a polly folk, they struggle with the adgustment and falls for their partners lover and how they would all handle that and how it might look after the passion and confusion dies down and it just 3 people that love eachother living their lame lives. Just an example, there are plenty real life examples to choose from- not saying this video doesnt roughly depict someones actual experince - but it is so unbearably biased and fitting into every stereotype that this must have wrote its own self! Leads me to beleive that there must not have been a single person practicing polyamory on your team. Showing some of the actual struggles in polyamory and explaining why it can't be for everyone would have not only been the better thing to do for education and understanding's sake but it also would have been a better watch. Ya'll can write better scpript than this, come on!❤
I don't need to be polyamorous because I can have the woman I actually want
I agree.
Mate Marijan THaT mEAnS yOU WanT tO oWn HeR
I'm in a poly relationship and i feel kind of insulted in the misinterpretation of what the relationship is. Pretty bad video.
*But in the end one needs more courage to live than to kill himself.*
A solution to the tensions and compromises of a long term relationship ship? That IS a long term relationship. Others are free to do as they wish, however, though my opinion still remains that sacrificing what you could have in other people to make an effort cooperating with one is the most healthy and mutually beneficial love.
All I need is one woman. If she needs more then one man then toodles.
Polyamory is quite literally wrong. You can’t go round mixing Greek and Latin words like that. Amore comes from a Latin root, and poly from theGreek. Multiamorous would be a better choice of word.
Joking aside, I have never known of a lasting poly relationship in my direct experience, but I do know of 2 murders that happened because of the jealousy issue. Maybe things are different with the tindr generation, but I think that human nature is ill suited to it and very few people actually tell the truth to all parties. Usually I think there is an unconfident person that will say or do anything to keep their relationship with the one they love, even if it means sharing with a friend.
Human romantic bonds are are the strongest emotions we have other than the bonds we have with our children. They should be taken a bit more seriously.
Monogamy is the most stable form of relationship for humans it's been practiced for thousands of years there's plenty of research on this I don't understand why none of it was presented in the video, its a pretty dangers practice for relationships it really shouldn't be underestimated.
Polyamory is “love” without sacrifice, which makes it an oxymoron. It’s for the weak that can’t commit to anything in life. Go ahead and try it, relish in the pride of your “woke”-ness. In the end it sounds great, but really just leaves the salt out of the steak. People overthink things; this isn’t something to overthink.
School of Life hits the lowest of lowest mixing type of love to political and economic type. ( 7 mins is not enough to explain polyamory ). One thing always will remain constant: Every great company starts to become popular with great quality content(service) after time takes over the quality material degrades over time when views are not dependent on quality anymore.
Polyamory would work if we were all perfectly rational and in complete control of our emotions. Unfortunately that is far from the case. Add to that the hassles of managing shared assets, children and family relationships with all your lovers and you’ve got a recipe for disaster.
I don’t think such relationships are wrong or degenerate but simply they’re too much of a pain in the ass to make successful over the long term compared to a monogamous couple.
It's sad how the comments turned into a place of hate instead of a discussion about the many forms that we can express love.
Murilo Coelho Pires de Almeida How is it sad? There are people who find the idea of ‘polyamory’ truly horrible. Are they not allowed to think and feel the way they do?
@@kornuithildr4129 They are allowed, but what we see here it's just plain offensive. Not a discussion with arguments and respect.
They want to browbeat us into their reproduction only sex life. Sad.
@@kornuithildr4129 Everyone is free to say how polyarmory doesn't work for them, but outright calling people "degenerative" or similar really does not qualify as a base of an intellectual and mutually respectful discussion
Murilo Coelho Pires de Almeida People like you are the most annoying kind of virtue signaller. Everything, and everyone that disagrees with you is hateful huh?
If someone is in a monogamous relationship and then proposes to switch to polyamorous, they are shady. If someone gets caught cheating and proposes it, they are extremely shady.
People in here using the term “degenerate” unironically, as if there is a universal definition for normalcy. Just don’t hurt other people and be honest.
Samwhey Gnarly there is a universal definition of normalcy when that's what 90%+ of people do it
The comments truly are prove, that even channels with intelligent topics don't seem to attract intelligent people.
Seriously guys, thinking you have any say in how other people ought to live their private life is ridiculous beyond reason.
I disagree with polyamoury, more people equals more problems. I'd rather have quality over quantity, love, I personally feel would get diluted with more people. I don't see it as the logical solution that any rational person would come to. It may be for a few people but not everyone, I also don't see monogomy as a "brain washing" from society. Although monogomy isn't the natural state of humans neither is polyamoury. We've been polygamous for hundreds and thousands of years, the primitive idea that only a few men had the right to breed. I don't agree with that either but our minds still work that way in a fundamental level. I think it's a cold and dry thing to share someone you love, moments stop being special when they're not exclusively with you. That's just my two cents though.
I embrace a sexually open/swinging lifestyle because it’s natural, but I’ve also found that it filters out Narcissistic personality types. 60%+ of monogamous marriages will fail, 70% of people in monogamous marriages will cheat. Many of the monogamous marriages that do “work” are PLAGUED with emotional and physical abuse. Yet insecure and jealous monogamous people have the audacity to say what is “right” and “good”. I love dating girls who like girls.
Um sources please. The divorce rate is less that 50% and still going down and the cheating rate is 20%. Just like you have found so many monogamous couples that are plagued with abuse, I have seen the same in open or ones that just end them breaking up. Just do what makes you happy is my stance.
psychcentral.com/blog/how-common-is-cheating-infidelity-really/
www.google.com/amp/s
/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/heart-the-matter/201704/do-half-all-marriages-really-end-in-divorce%3famp
There's a difference between pointing out the reality of polyamory; pointing at the gaping holes in the myth of monogamy- and living as though jealousy and fragility didn't exist. I will always point it out that monogamy and marriage have always been a social construct, but I won't say that people should use that as an excuse to just do whatever. Furthermore, the real issue with the reality of polyamory is that there are laws that force monogamy onto people, and this just shouldn't be the capacity of a society. If you marry someone and you don't mesh, it's not anyone else's business whether you stay together or split. Divorce is costly and a legal mess. It should be a cleaner break because that shit winds up screwing with children the most. Polyamory is the reality of the human psyche because we are driven by natural impulses to procreate. So, when a husband cheats, or a wife cheats, or the two are simply annoyed or miserable with each other, it should be very simple to separate, especially when either have been reported as abusive. But socially constructed norms have made it so that abusive parents are a constant pox, and divorce is a long and drawn out dog and pony show that gets in the way of everyone's daily lives.
I'm just here to say that monogamy isnt a social construct. Humans do have neurological structures and processes found in other monogamous animals but not to the extent that we are completely monogamous
I love how even though this channel tends to the left philosophically, they still made the honest case that monogamy isn't a capitalist conspiracy ~ it's natural
I think polyamory is bullshit and heres why. When you have more than one partner this literally means that you have to start to split time between them everytime you are with the other one it is time of the other one. This goes from snuggling to having sex unless the others are gay same time then you can snuggle and have sex almost same time. One person only have set of parts and all other partners get's time devided between the one partner who has many. If I ever would be in that situation it would be me and only ladies not like lady and 2 or more men. I don't wan't nothing to do with other men while I'm on relationship.
Trying to re-invent the wheel again, only it may be more helpful to listen to other people who have tried it, It isn’t ownership just the appeal of commitment as very sexy. You can still be aware of oneness with the many as a Spiritual practice
Imagine if this channel would stop pushing this idea in every third video. Utopia I guess
It's ok if you are not interested in the topic. don't click the videos.
some people are and they are happy about the content. don't forget, the makers of this channel are free to talk about anything they like, they have no obligation to create the type of content you like.
@@georgplaz hey I aint saying they can't; I'm just expressin my feels here in the comments + sorry if I was being too salty for you have a great day
This video doesn’t do polyamory justice. It works great for some people. Some others need monogamy. But polyamory is more than the biases of what this video espouses
I actually am in a poliamory relationship for more than 3 years now. Each part respecting, caring and loving each other. I wouldn't like it to be any other way.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry
I would kindly disagree with the video. Although poliamory is not fit for everyone, it can be wonderful if it involves people that are communicative and comfortable with it. Also I wouldn't say we are "perfect" and "rational" because of that, but that we just fit this way.
Thank you for your kind apologies, lol. I am pretty happy with what I have and I'm pretty sure my partners are too. I wish the best for you all.
And here I thought the people who frequented this channel were mature.
The comment section would like to disagree, it seems.
Everyone who disagrees is immature and I am the only mature person in this comment section because I agree, right?
I'm all for monogamy and being faithful, etc. But as a straight guy I know for a fact that deep down every red blooded man alive has fantasies of multiple women, threesomes, etc. Does NOT mean we should act it though!
Sebastian Elytron you’re social conditioning is insane. Women love multiple partners and many fantasize about multiple guys at once. Making this about “red blooded” is Beta male virtue signaling.
Go learn evolutionary biology mate. Women's desire for multiple men is nothing compared to men's desire for multiple women.
Why shouldn't we ?
So is it is folly to expect a man to be faithful? Please tell me. Very confused here.
@@sebastianelytron8450 it is not as simple as you make it out to be. Many females in many species will mate with multiple males and that for a number of reasons.
1. females will have offsprings of different males, therefore spreading the risk that their one partner produces only shit offsprings.
2. even for a single impregnation some females will have sex with multiple males. the "healthiest" sperm will make it, unhealthy sperm will fail.
3. food. in some species the female will attract many males, mate with some but ultimately eat them all. this is a good source of proteins
Having said all that.. it actually doesn't really matter what other species do. If some people are happy having multiple relationships, just let them be. be offended by something else, like the US government shutting down because of incompetent politicians.
This makes polyamory look so unhealthy wtf is this
Let's fall in love with one person at a time. Is that such a big deal?
From experience. aside from the .0001% of people this works for, if your SO brings "polyamory" in the middle of your relationship, save yourself the time and energy and just drop the fucker right then and there.
What ever works for you I guess, just know that 99% of the time it's a mistake and you're opening the box of Pandora. Beeing together with somebody for a long time is work and if you don't treat it like that, the reality about it will hit you hard and you will think that it's not working out.
But if you acknowledge that there will be hard times and struggle, then your relationship will be ready for hard times and survive.
And surely the answer is not to bang around with other people bc the sex got boring. This won't fix anything and will estrange you from your partner.
Polyamory vs monogamy is a false dichotomy
Monogamy is a system of rules governing your relationship
Poly is a principle of having the relationships structure everyone wants, poly people can choose to be faithfully monogamous with a partner, but it is a choice, not a right of ownership the other partner has.
Also, kind of...fuck this “oh, we’re just not strong enough for” over represented heteronormative ‘friends with benefits’ couple based idea of poly all media wants to peddle >
It's usually the one who is sexually tired of the person he/she is involved with, or who's a psychopath who craves excitement and *can't* put down roots with just one partner, who broaches the topic of opening one's...erm, mind!
Don't talk about V.D....S.T.D.'s...just find your freedom....B.S. I know couples that are now dead because there outside lovers were not very honest. AID's,Herpes ETC. is the risk you take....relationships are built on TRUST. Trust in judgment,NOW... who gave who what? Who's child is it and what do they now have.........
Happy Valentine's I guess 😂
I'm glad they used a black guy because otherwise I wouldn't have been able to know if they are racist or not
Enjoyed this piece.
I personally could not handle polyamory but I understand the points you were making.
Great vid
Remember, everyone, the way we decide to organise the base unit of our society, possibly the most important factor for social cohesion, shouldn't be about what's best for children, most economically productive, most stable, best for mental health, it should be about your genitalia and who you want to bone at this exact moment. What do you mean, Polyamory doesn't work? Just look at this example of this tiny indigenous tribe who have been stagnant for thousands of years and who's society couldn't be more diametrically opposed to our own in every way, where they had a polyamrous family one time! It can't fail! What do you mean, I'm cherry picking? Love is love, bigot, it's 2019!
A Your post fails to land a referent. Totally meaningless.
Stephen Saich, Have you tried reading it?
Ullander Ulland indeed I have.
Don't know why people downvote this video. For me, that I've been always a superficial supporter of polyamory, it's been eye-opening
It does, in a way, answer the phenomenon of broken marriages, adultery and other kinds of dishonest, dysfunctional relationships.
This is a very strange video, it kind of raises and opinion or view point and then just fucks it off with the idea that we are emotionally invested in these characters enough to care about their relationship as if we've been following them for long enough to care.
I dont understand the purpose of this video
I just watched the previous I guess trailer for this series, are these characters lives going to continue in future videos?