It’s still hurts because you genuinely love them and expect them to change, because we believe that love can change anything but the truth is you’re drowning deep and deep into their darkness and lust that it might be difficult to admit that they would never change. They never healed their wounds and they would never heal yours.
It literally takes someone breaking your spirit in this manner to realize you deserve better. I had a guy in My life like this before. I loved him like no other. I thought one day my love would be enough. All he did was syphon everything good within and take it to boost him when he was low or between others. It literally took me losing a parent to realize a person like that, even in my darkest moment, wouldnt prioritize my well being. Selfish to the core. It’s been 2 yrs, 3 in Sept, since I’ve seen him and that realization was so difficult but now I finally feel my inner light once more. I deserve better, if you are reading this, you do too. ❤
Good on you for finding your light. I had a really bad girlfriend once who didn't prioritize me at all and it felt like I was putting all the effort in our relationship. After 5 months the neglect finally got to me. I tell you, breaking up with her was one of the best feelings of my life. It felt like I finally developed self respect and said to myself "I deserve better"
Just some advice, if you're dating someone and it seems like they are 2 different people, the one who is hurting/rejecting/gaslighting/gaming you...that's the actual person. They do mean it, and they won't let you go as you are an ego booster place holder while they look for someone else. You need to love and be honest with yourself always, especially when it's painful. Walk away from nonsense, it will never change ❤
I just send a voice message to a boy a was dating that I felt that he was 2 different kind of person, one in real life and one online, and ask him to never text me again. Only call to meet us in person, now that 2 weeks just past and he never call me, and I read your comment, it’s time to accept that the real person was the narcissist
I need someone's advice pls help me becoz I'm overthinking, i had a situationship for 4 months, I was not aware that it was a situationship becoz it had started with friendship, we started talking to each other, and I got attached , the way he talk to me, the way he cared and he always updated his daily routine to me wherever he goes and we had a conversation like we're in relationship but one day he posted story on Instagram where I find that he has made a new girlfriend and I got hurt like hell, I can't even get angry at him becoz we're not in a relationship and then I decided to not to talk to him anymore and leave him but he messaged me again and asked why're you not talking to me now a days, but this time I told him to forget about it and live peacefully. Here I just wanted to ask that did I do something wrong by leaving him? he is now playing victim card becoz i leave him pls help me I don't know what to do now ??? 🙏🏻🥺
@supriyasingha123 he's playing games. If you do want him, tell him that, tell him that you need exclusivity and clarity about what is going on between you two. A situationship is a pointless, hurtful game. Tell the truth, you have nothing to lose. He's not a victim and you don't have to put up with games. Just say the truth (if you want) and do not feel sorry for him. You deserve to have your needs met and to be respected. Good luck! ❤️
'What do you neeed from me now'.... accurate af. Emotionally unavaliable people seek to use and take from others... love, energy, healing, attention... and dress it up as genuine connection.
I wouldn't say he's gaslighting her. He's just incapable of validating her lived experience. They both want different things and she's putting it on him to end it because she doesn't want to be the one to have to break things off. And that's understandable because she's the one burdened by the ambiguous connection. She's not in love with him as she claims to be. Only the idea of him. They desire each other but not in ways that would make each other happy. They have different emotional needs. It's not up to him to end the connection because he's not looking for anything in particular. It's up to her to end things because she's the one hurting. For her to blame him for not wanting anything serious is unfair but for him to expect her to be "just a friend" after their history is also unfair. If they both cared about each other, they'd stay away from one another.
Just got out of one 2 weeks ago. I really cared for this man, and I continue to do so. But after a year of talking and 3 meetups(ldr 4 hours apart), he couldnt commit to me to be exclusive with me. Im battling the care I felt for him, possibly the love, and the anger I have at myself for falling for it.
I understand how much it hurts. I was in a situationship of 8 months and I was also made believe that he wanted a relationship until he never committed to me and left me for someone else he met in his city. It felt like I never mattered to him
@@hayamkhaled7424 She was referring to the metaphorical walls he put up to keep people (her) from getting too close- she loves him and wants to be open and share all of herself with him- no walls: letting her defenses down, giving it her all, etc. She wants a REAL relationship- not just being told he’s “not in the right place “ for a relationship.
they don't want you to leave but while you're with them they take you for granted. when you're about to leave they beg you to stay, you stay, nothing changes. ladies/gentlemen ,stop running in circles. right when you feel unwanted and not enough it's time for you to leave.
I think people need to realise that just because you love someone and they love you- does not mean you are meant to be in a relationship. People show you how they feel about you, its your job to listen. Not pick out the pieces of information you like and discard the rest pretending you 'didn't know'.
Neither of them is a bad person. And they're actually both to blame for choosing incompatible people to be with. He claims to love her but can't even validate her feelings. She claims to love him but doesn't even like his writing or his cooking. They are both seeking to fill a void within themselves that only they themselves can fill or possibly find in other people.
@@allssids to love and respect themselves enough to wait for the one that will reciprocate (to love and to be loved), because everyone deserves to be loved.
I am in this current situation for 7 months and counting. It's crushing my peace. It's damaging to my soul. It's so hard to be with a guy who is never out but completely IN in my life. It affects my productivity, it affects my routine... EVERYTHING. I wanna stop, but I am too weak to let go because he's the only guy I loved like this for a long time. I kept on praying to God for helping me get out of this situation, because I am tired. Really, really tired. 😢
Pray and bring your burden to God ask with faith relentlessly for strength to open your eyes. It’s very important because if you’re not careful when it ends, it might take years. And then you will regret why you didn’t do anything sooner. It’s only a matter of time, you need to think about yourself first..It’s not easy but it’s one those thing that really needs to be faced. Trust me I know. I hope you find the courage to do this. Sending you strength, bless
Babe trust me, I’ve been there but you really have to make the effort to let him go. I’ve been there hun, don’t sell yourself short. It’ll suck soooooo damnnn much but having your peace crushed is not worth it. It’s not worth it! You gotta leave, luv. I know….but you will definitely be in a better state removing someone who takes your presence for granted…it’s time to walk away….
how deeply painful it can be when someone unhealed enters your life, claiming to love you, but instead, they bring more hurt than comfort. It’s heartbreaking when you open your heart, hoping for connection, only to feel the weight of their unresolved pain tearing down the peace you once had. They pull you into their storm, making you question your worth, your happiness, and the love you deserve. It’s as if their emotional wounds find a way to infect your soul, leaving you carrying burdens that were never yours to bear. You might find yourself trying so hard to fix them, to understand their pain, hoping that your love will be enough to heal them. But instead, you feel drained, overwhelmed, and sometimes even lost in their chaos. What hurts the most is that you trusted them with your heart. You wanted something real, something fulfilling, but instead, you're left picking up the broken pieces of yourself. You never asked for this heartache, this pain that seems so unfair. You deserved love, but all you received was a reflection of their brokenness, and it has left scars on your spirit that may take time to heal. In moments like these, it’s important to remember that their damage is not your fault, and you deserve so much better. You deserve someone who lifts you, who cherishes your soul and brings peace into your life, not more pain.
@@MeowMeow-fk3eh you can try therapy or weed or friends or family or writing. But I'd try meditating for 10 minutes every morning and night. Just close your eyes and breath. Maybe it'll take more than one thing or happen randomly. Good luck.
people accept situationship when deep inside we don’t feel we truly deserve love & care the more we raise our self worth, the easier it would get to detach & let go naturally
@@MeowMeow-fk3eh honestly lost of reading until it changes your mind set. First thing I do when I wake up is listen to uplifting motivational videos to find my worth. I won’t get out of bed until I know it! Try reading or listening to -Love life by Matthew Hussey - and also -Win your break up by Natasha Adams- I know it’s no competition to “win” your break up by that book does give you the FIRE to push forward! If you don’t like reading listen to it on audiobook. Invest in yourself and give yourself all the love you would have given them. It will take time but you WILL HEAL!
To be extremely honest the comment section is far superior dialogue on this subject than the film’s. The film doesn’t begin to express the depth of the watcher-contributors.
This is the first time I've seen a film about situationships. These issues are not discussed enough. I enjoyed the film. It's healing and made me feel I'm not alone in this world; my experiences are something people across the world experience too. We need more of it.
❤ I wish they could show this in schools. I'm in my first ever situationship at 39, and you would've thought I would've learned. Brilliant short film, the emotion packs a punch right to the core.
Im in my first situationship and it hurts because i care for this person so much and he knows it. As for him i dont know how he feels. I cant walk away and i know I should
Me too, first situantionship at 39. 3.5months later, after dealing with an awful avoidant and constant disrespect I've ended it. Never ignore your gut feelings or sacrifice your basic needs for somebody who never cared enough in the first place, it'll put you in a place of anxiety and break your self esteem.if you let it.
As soon as the guy said he was cooking, I knew this short film would hurt. I've been in a situationship before. It is very hard to separate the idea, from the person.
oh yeah the cooking part..I met one nice guy at the beginning of the year through hiking and we started to hang out more (I was the initiator). In the end, we would meet every week for 2x or even 3x sometimes for sports and other activities..Once he cooked for me his traditional algerian food, and I was so positively shocked (no one ever did the cooking for me and I didn't also hang out so much in guys apartments before) and I stayed for 5 hours with him, chatting playing video games, expecting all the time some emotion from him, from 31 old guy..And I walked alone to the home around 2am, he didn't even offer to walk me so late.. I don't need to say that I was so confused every time after we met, and he cooked for me even a second time and I did a stupid thing again and stayed there min 5hours..and nothing.. That was for 1,5month and I couldn't continue like that, I had moments where I wanted to ask him on a date even though I am a girl but thankfully I didn't'..I was so confused, mad how is it possible that someone shows you his nice side and hang out and laugh every time and jokes..and when you finally break all that and your head and you stop calling him and giving ideas for meetups..then is all gone. After one month he did call me to go out on coffee, but it was with other friends I realised, not just us two. 🙂 The second time he called, I wasn't free and that was it..I never had wished again to be alone with him, I had such a strong connection or fantasy no idea..thank God it is behind me.
@@nemaimena2590 not sure, but it seems like the guy just had good times with you as a friend nothing more... it can't move forward unless one part reveals his feelings to another. Because you didn't it could't move to the next step. You seem to be think too much in gender stereotypes, eh?
Be strong like the woman in this movie. Let go of the relationships that you can not understand. I had the same experience. The other person uses you as a tool to fix himself. They might say, " I love you!" But believe me, they don't mean it. They play you and make you gain a special feeling toward them. So they get insure that you can not go easily. You need someone to be totally honest with you. Whenever I asked him to clarify our relationship, he would cleverly dodge it. At the same time, he was flirting with me. I was confused and didn't know what to do. One part of my heart was telling me that he may be in love with me, too. The other part was rejecting the idea of love as I was witnessing his weird actions. You try to endure the confusion and trick yourself into staying in a relationship that is not suitable for you. But, like the lady of this movie and like me, someday you come to yourself and try to have a serious conversation with him. You make everything clear. Your true feelings, your pure intentions, and those fantasies that you have made in your mind due to his actions. He shattered your feelings and used you. A true lover would never do these to his beloved. LET THEM GO.
Strong? She starts by smoking weed(maybe) goes in questioning everything (hyper vigilance) takes an aggressive stance and as ever brings up past problems in a pointed and not one bit charitable way and refuses to see his side of things on anything and uses the time to unload rather than meet on equal footing at all. Textbook professional cry bully behaviour. She let her walls down (walls she professes not to have) then beats him with them. He opens up about his book and she passive aggressively goes on a tear down tirade. Perspective is everything I guess. We paint things with our own point of view. Guess it's hard to stay objective with things when it draws us in emotionally.
I think she means she loves too strongly, she is either all in or not, not in the specific way he needs her to be for him. It could also mean that she knows her love for him wouldn't be in her best interest
If you ever find yourself in this position, don’t ever explain yourself to a man like this it’s embarrassing. He does not care. He’s going to call another girl as soon as you finish your little speech. This will only make it worse cause he knows he still has you emotionally. Just silently leave the person alone cause they will never leave you alone if they know you still want them.
She did that for herself. It had nothing to do with him. She created a space to receive the peace of mind she needed after years of wondering what happened between them. Hence the last shot of her smiling, satisfied, to herself.
@@Gabi-wm7yk you need to express that to a therapist not the person that never cared in the first place, I promise this doesn’t help. Especially if they don’t give you the reaction you expected. This could potentially make things 10x worse
@@angelafutch4776 no baby, creating space would simply be moving on and not going over there thinking he wants you now and getting mad when he doesn’t. Express these emotions to a therapist who can actually help you heal in a healthy way. This will not productive, it’s a fictional movie.
Currently stuck in this cycle after almost two years. I was once bold enough to finally ask the “ how do you feel about me” question and his response was “I like you and enjoy you, why you ask, is your life changing and we have to stop talking?” That tore me apart but I still kept myself convenient for him. I love him but I think I’m going to end it for my sanity.
Ex will always be ex for a reason. There's no such thing as being friends after a breakup. Situationship is the most awkward yet heart breaking situation for people who sincerely searching for authentic relationship.
There can be friends after breakup. You can't be friends when one is "madly in love" with the other, as she says. But for example my first relationship (16-19) was very toxic. I was extremely anxiously attached and she was extremely impulsive and unempathic. When she broke up she had to block me. In the months after I was able to step back, realize the toxic nature of our relationship on both sides, grow and heal. So after months we spoke again. Veeery rarely at first, checking in every other month or so. With time we started to talk more. And now we have been very good friends for the last 5 years. There never has been romantic interest from either side since the breakup. Maybe one day it'll stop working out, idk. But for now its a good streak.
Situationships are extraordinarily painful. Worst relationship experience I’ve ever encountered. Took me to realize I was dealing with a sociopath/ narcissist.
In general, life may be complicated and people are too, but no one should ever have to settle for a situationship. You all deserve someone who will love you the way you want to be loved. That person may be hard to find, but trust me they are out there. And when you find them, all the pain it took to find them will feel like nothing
Really interesting point of view unfortunatelly sometimes we feel so lonely that we are willing to accept only a few drops of love despite were full of it to give at the end theres nothing to regret cause all we go through is a path to our growth we need to keep strong there will be always someone,its just matter of the waiting And being positive youll manage to love again
Let's be real. They didn't have positive impact on your life. They didn't make you a better person. You just had attachment issues and scared to lose something you once loved. You made them seem more valuable than they actually were. Don't waste anymore time. There's someone better waiting for you. Be true to yourself, be true to your feelings and be true to the other one. Don't think of the outcome. The right person will see through your antics and like you. Don't make love a game to win. Don't fear sadness. Sadness on solid ground can't cause much damage, rather it makes you wiser, but happiness on weak scripted grounds might blow off sooner than you expect. Unless you both are shallow then that's a compatibility. It's hard to find a solid partner and it's for your own good, development. We might feel dejected but somewhere we know our standards are too deep or we are different. Yeah, only if you walk the talk
If anything, she had an impact on him to the point he could finally have his shit together and committed. She on the other hand was the one who got tested hard and left broken to put her pieces back together. She is a giver and he was her lesson. He, has nothing to give.. only took and took and used her generous soul to move on & build a different life.
Like this skit here, i think situationships are created between someone with avoidant attachment style and someone with anxious attachment style. It is weird to see what kind of trauma it can lead to with the anxious and what kind of late life struggle it can give to the avoidant. I was in one too, I was the anxious one and this legit gave me flashbacks. It's just so beautiful! Thanks for sharing!
@@wanjer.i Self reflection: it often happens a while after the situationship and you see what you did wrong and you slowly but surely go on a journey to meet yourself and try to heal the past🙏🏻
Indeed. Very true. I have anxious and she avoidant.. she knows that I love her but she can’t commit. I can’t to stay on like this …but it’s hard to let her go 😢
We all deserve a love that is not confusing. If you feel you are not being treated right, JUST LET GO. That’s what I learnt after moving on from a situationship, and I’m deserving all the best things now.
been in situationship for 3+ years. i thought i wasn’t enough. after realising my worth, i blocked him. currently with the loml and i know i am enough and i am happier
I deeply felt it. I saw myself reflected in the same exact scenario only with different actors. Those same exact words I said to him, “ if you truly love me, let me go”. Each time he would reach out, hope would poke its dumbass face and all I’d get was hurt. Sadly each time you give in, a little more of your self esteem, self worth, confidence and dignity chips away making it even more difficult to resist. Men that knowingly play with woman’s emotions this way are some of the most selfish and cruel kind of people in this world.
"Men that knowingly play with woman’s emotions this way are some of the most selfish and cruel kind of people in this world." And yet many of these men don't even KNOW the hurt and damage and pain they cause. Yes, there are the "Dark Triad" men out there who know full well what they are doing. And karma will pay them a visit in one way or another. However, most avoidant men are just trying to protect themsleves with their twisted coping mechanisms. It truly sad for everyone involved. I tell women to take on the FULL RESPONSIBILITY of protecting yourself. Leave these types of men CLEAN ALONE at the first sign of him being emotionally available. Work on your anxious attachment so that you don't get sucked into this cycle.
No, I knew. You see the stress in her showing up. I've felt that. The genuine surprise of grand and small gestures. Keeping things and being surprised they did. The wanting it but hesitation in receiving. And what really sent it over the moon was her challenging him when he said he put himself in his book and dug deep. But then says it was subtle. Bro has those walls even with himself. With feelings. I didn't need to even see past 3:30 but I did. Then his own emotional confusion. Calling something a relationship he kept from being a relationship. Her pain. You can see the whole thing. Avoidant attachment. Intimacy issues. The fact there was another woman that he never told he loved. The loops between them. Always having distractions. The criticism. The "what do you wanna know". The having commitment with someone who he didn't feel as strongly for because it's easier. Limbo. Wanting back in life as friends because he can't offer more.
I had been in situationship when I was 23 for a year. After that I have never had a relationship cos it really destroyed all my thoughts, approaches to love. For that year I managed to belittle myself so much that I got trauma of not being enough. I am 35 years old right now. I somehow cannot forget myself why I have put myself into such situation and didnt run out when I should.
You need to forgive yourself. One year having 12 year long consecuences, sounds like the relationship was bad, but the aftermath with yourself was even worse. There is a way out of this, please seek help.
He wouldnt open up emotionally. I always stayed with him in his bad as well as good times so we are here in this situationship thing. We love each other but he being the emotionally immature or whatever I cant commit to him! It will destroy me and hurt me eventually which i dont want
Been the emotionaly unavailable person (and still are) in the relationship, didn’t realize i was the toxic element until we broke up and i tried to see what was wrong in my behavior. Go to therapy people, and be vulnerable with someone who doesn’t care so that you can be with someone who does
I thank God for my loving parents who are 25 years happily married, because I genuinely don’t know what this movie is about. My prayers will go for all people who are in situationships, never had a good example of the real love, may God heal you ❤️
Deeply avoidant people create anxious attachment in some instances. I certainly have experienced that. They create so much questioning and instability that you became anxious when in more stable relational frames you are quite secure and calm.
Great movie showing the curse of avoidant and anxious. A lot of “you” statements. Isn’t it better to develop “l” statements? Like, “I love you and I want to be with you.” State your truth. Then let the other respond, and you’ll know where they stand. Choose to accept or reject how they respond. Don’t let the emotions muddle your decision making.
You would think so, until this is the 20th time you do this scenario and you're dead tired of being in a hamster wheel. The woman had already made up her mind at this point, and good for her.
OH MY GOSH! This hit home so hard. For years I have been head over heels for this guy who treated me like this. He would hook up with me and say sweet things and then ghost me or say he wasn't ready for a relationship. Then months later he would contact me and tell me about the girlfriend he broke up with and the cycle would start again. I always kept thinking "Why am I not good enough for him?" I can't believe I let this happen for so long. Finally I stood up for myself and said he was too old to act like this and it hurts every time he does this. He made me feel like I was the bad guy for calling him out. I realized that I liked the made up this idea of this guy. This person who I thought was amazing and in reality he was just using me for his ego and didn't even see me as a human being.
@@andreacarvalho9564true.....experienced this for 5 yrs.....finally realized only I was the one madly in love.....v v hard to let it go but finally got out of it .....2yrs now much much more satisfied and burden free....feels great❤❤
He doesn’t love her. He loves that there’s someone who loves him when he’s down. He is selfish. He will never see the way she wants him to see her. She deserves better.
This way of thinking can only afford very young people with plenty of time for collecting experience. I also set myself free once and allowed myself to move to another country because of a guy I loved so deeply, just to find out I was not worth a spit to him. It has influenced every single aspect of my love life since. Lesson learnt: Things that should not happen, will not happen. Forcing anything doesn't help. Things that should happen, happen with a surprising ease. Period.
The way ppl who have been there will know she looks this strong now because she had to become like this in order to heal, and she probably went into their situationship so innocent and lightly.
Mine told me that he loved me straight in the eyes then a few weeks after he slept with his ex. When I confronted him he replied « I said I love you but I never said it was absolute and that it will last » 💔 these avoidant people needs to be left alone
@@chochasvestidos wow 🤯 mine said in a romantic moment that I was his other half, his mirror… and a few months after he said “well I never said that you are my only one mirror” 😵💫😵💫😵💫
I have a confession to make. I see a lot of myself in him. He does love the lady but not himself. The lady clearly loves him but this is conflicting for him. What he is seeking she cannot provide. That is why her love is not enough. This is termed "the nice guy" syndrome. I only discovered this recently about myself and have began the journey to healing, which most of which, is learning how to love myself, so i can be able to love others.
She was always “unavailable“. Now, not long after, she starts complaining, seeing people, making out with people. She broke me so bad and it still kinda hurts
“But my love doesn’t have walls.” That is the most terrifying and the most essential thing a woman could ever say to me - but hell on wheels she has to mean it, and follow through.
Situationships are temporary beautiful brave souls you will come out stronger and more resilient, ready to receive the love you deserve from someone better!
Situationship = withholding commitment and selling fake romance for the girl Friendzone = withholding physical intimacy and selling inauthentic hopes for the guy
Just realised that this is what I was in so many years ago. Got to a point where I couldn't do it anymore. 2 years it took. Met my now husband immediately after and we've been together for nearly 25 years.
Oh Grace, my dear Grace! I want to reach out and give her a hug. Maybe because I see so much of myself in her. She is me and I am her. Definitely on the better side of RUclips today:)
I am in similar situationsh*t from 2 years.. these days I have lost all my patience and just before typing this I’ve blocked that person from everywhere. I swear I won’t get back to the person again ever cuz it has smashed my self respect for very long. I’m done. I was thinking doing this after some days but watching this and reading these comments quickened my decision. Thanks a lot dear strangers 🌱
Please everyone, take care of yourselves. You all are far more worthy of love than you may feel. Please do not waste your time on someone who is not completely clear with you about their intentions or feelings.
@@basicinfo2022 the women that friend zone men aren't? please, they are keeping them around "just in case". It's an emotional toll on the man, sitting around, hoping, waiting she will come around. Friendzone isn't friendship, it's when one person has feelings.
No I don’t agree. The friend zone is we just fucked and now you my friend. In a situationship, a dude will be trickin on you treating you like he yo man then act stupid when you expected y’all in a relationship cause he still got 5 other on his roster he doin it for and will make u feel psycho for thinking y’all go together
Don‘t even know why some people praise this thought of a situationship. It‘s a deeply toxic form of relationship, a vicious cycle hurting over and over again
Being in situationship for6/7 months it ain't only a months.Memories to be cheerish, the feeling of being desperate for their love.Our overlove makes them feel our existence for granted.it hurts our pride,ego but still finds it hard to let go.we have decided to part our own ways as he wasn't able to move on from from his past experience.The only love languages you can do is to let go . Feelings can't be force just make yourself happy🥺.
This is exactly what I went through with my ex of 4 years. we dated on and off and first met in 2016 and I never thought last year would be the last time I'd ever see him or talk to him. I wasn't enough for him and we just fell out of love and the spark I thought he had for me was never there to begin with. he used me as a rebound and a distraction from his ex yet he'd constantly bring her name up and would make up lies about her and even went as far as lying to her about getting back together with me and made up some random chick's name and said he was dating her when in reality he was with me- he broke me and destroyed me in ways I can't explain and I'm terrified of falling in love again..he was my first serious long-term relationship and my first love
Honestly I’m sorry that you went through that as I can honestly say I’m sorry because I’ve been through so many times similar situation where I try to fall in love with someone and it was hard. Even now in my own Situationship where I try to be that good guy try to be that person but it doesn’t feel like I’m doing enough or good enough. I know deep down that you’ll find that person is you’ll indeed find love again you just need to keep working on yourself and succeeding as a right person will come and know your value. Stay humble.
I’ve been in that guy’s shoes. I didn’t even realize I was that bad until after 3years of back and forth and she’s crying and telling me this is the last time and she actually meant it.
It hurts because this is what I felt for 2 years . I kept chasing the guy and realized it's a situationship. I'm wasting my energy. I feel like I don't deserve real love anymore.
"One day he'll love me the way I love him" I can't believe how much I thought that my love would change him, how much of myself I poured into him. I miss him so much, but I hate him for all he took, all his lies, his not committing while I was there totally committed.
Wow! Good reminder to never meet him again cause it’s gonna end up hurting as hell! Why be heartbroken again when you’ve tried so hard to be where you are now?
The very notion of a "situationship" has only been defined within the past decade, as the seriousness of sex in our culture has been minimized within the past *several* decades. It doesn't hit you all that hard if a man is hot and cold with you in the absence of any sexual interaction - it's when sex is introduced to the equation that it becomes the topic for a theatrical drama. Men are practical thinkers - make them work for it. Don't just lie down and offer yourself. We could eliminate "situationships" entirely if we, the women, just say no. It's not a compliment if a man wants to sleep with you - it's a compliment if they *don't.* No man who *truly* cares about you will try to sleep with you more often than he tries to just talk to/be around you.
Well this video just popped up on my youtube feed and I did just click on it. Then I realized she was kinda part of me who always tried to find out the clarity but then ended up in vain, ended up blaming myself over and over. But then I realized i didn't deserve to be a replacement and i deserved to be loved. Once I discovered he was taking me for granted. I was done. I cut him off out of my life. It was hurting and painful when the last day we talked to each other and I revealed all the things that my heart had been hold those words for 6 months, still wouldn't make his head turn over me. It was like i'm the one who begged for an attention and love. I promise that I would never ever let myself jump into the same position for twice. My past had already said it all.
"Dating" - the fact that she pointed out that the word "dating" sounded so weird is exactly how I feel. Although I can't fully see what I'm in right now, I can sus out that whatever it is, it's not good for me and I deserve far better.
Such a great film👍🏻 so glad I got out of my situation - it was only for four months and it was torture! Can’t imagine people who have been in it for longer. Stay strong and I beg you to find the courage to leave :)
Mr. Diaz? Thank you. Im a 34 y o Filipina in Manila, and I was fucking debating why Im not leaving this guy Im seeing and well fucking... Got answered. Today. Thank you. For making me feel special. Thank you so much 😘 I know what to do now thank you
It’s still hurts because you genuinely love them and expect them to change, because we believe that love can change anything but the truth is you’re drowning deep and deep into their darkness and lust that it might be difficult to admit that they would never change. They never healed their wounds and they would never heal yours.
"They never healed their wounds and they would never heal yours." -Powerful,chef's kiss.
Nothing than True words! 💔
The one who couldn’t address their pain, will never address other’s 🙂
That's exactly what I went through.
It literally takes someone breaking your spirit in this manner to realize you deserve better. I had a guy in My life like this before. I loved him like no other. I thought one day my love would be enough. All he did was syphon everything good within and take it to boost him when he was low or between others. It literally took me losing a parent to realize a person like that, even in my darkest moment, wouldnt prioritize my well being. Selfish to the core. It’s been 2 yrs, 3 in Sept, since I’ve seen him and that realization was so difficult but now I finally feel my inner light once more. I deserve better, if you are reading this, you do too. ❤
Good on you for finding your light. I had a really bad girlfriend once who didn't prioritize me at all and it felt like I was putting all the effort in our relationship. After 5 months the neglect finally got to me. I tell you, breaking up with her was one of the best feelings of my life. It felt like I finally developed self respect and said to myself "I deserve better"
Almost same situation, this comment gives me strength ♥️thank you stranger
Thanks. May God bless you with all happiness ❤
Thank you
🥹💓
Just some advice, if you're dating someone and it seems like they are 2 different people, the one who is hurting/rejecting/gaslighting/gaming you...that's the actual person. They do mean it, and they won't let you go as you are an ego booster place holder while they look for someone else. You need to love and be honest with yourself always, especially when it's painful. Walk away from nonsense, it will never change ❤
❤
Most of the men in the dating pool seem to be like this. They are highly narcissistic. The dating apps should weed out covert narcissists.
I just send a voice message to a boy a was dating that I felt that he was 2 different kind of person, one in real life and one online, and ask him to never text me again. Only call to meet us in person, now that 2 weeks just past and he never call me, and I read your comment, it’s time to accept that the real person was the narcissist
I need someone's advice pls help me becoz I'm overthinking, i had a situationship for 4 months, I was not aware that it was a situationship becoz it had started with friendship, we started talking to each other, and I got attached , the way he talk to me, the way he cared and he always updated his daily routine to me wherever he goes and we had a conversation like we're in relationship but one day he posted story on Instagram where I find that he has made a new girlfriend and I got hurt like hell, I can't even get angry at him becoz we're not in a relationship and then I decided to not to talk to him anymore and leave him but he messaged me again and asked why're you not talking to me now a days, but this time I told him to forget about it and live peacefully. Here I just wanted to ask that did I do something wrong by leaving him? he is now playing victim card becoz i leave him pls help me I don't know what to do now ??? 🙏🏻🥺
@supriyasingha123 he's playing games. If you do want him, tell him that, tell him that you need exclusivity and clarity about what is going on between you two. A situationship is a pointless, hurtful game. Tell the truth, you have nothing to lose. He's not a victim and you don't have to put up with games. Just say the truth (if you want) and do not feel sorry for him. You deserve to have your needs met and to be respected. Good luck! ❤️
'What do you neeed from me now'.... accurate af. Emotionally unavaliable people seek to use and take from others... love, energy, healing, attention... and dress it up as genuine connection.
Absolutely needy with no balls to ask for what they want
NEVER and I mean NEVER give an emotionally unavailable person a second chance to hurt you! 💯💯
Sad
Exactly what I text back every time he reaches out.
I wouldn't say he's gaslighting her. He's just incapable of validating her lived experience. They both want different things and she's putting it on him to end it because she doesn't want to be the one to have to break things off. And that's understandable because she's the one burdened by the ambiguous connection. She's not in love with him as she claims to be. Only the idea of him. They desire each other but not in ways that would make each other happy. They have different emotional needs. It's not up to him to end the connection because he's not looking for anything in particular. It's up to her to end things because she's the one hurting. For her to blame him for not wanting anything serious is unfair but for him to expect her to be "just a friend" after their history is also unfair. If they both cared about each other, they'd stay away from one another.
Just got out of one 2 weeks ago. I really cared for this man, and I continue to do so. But after a year of talking and 3 meetups(ldr 4 hours apart), he couldnt commit to me to be exclusive with me. Im battling the care I felt for him, possibly the love, and the anger I have at myself for falling for it.
I understand how much it hurts. I was in a situationship of 8 months and I was also made believe that he wanted a relationship until he never committed to me and left me for someone else he met in his city. It felt like I never mattered to him
i cried for a week straight from this
Me too am healing because my heart was broken before but now I am angry. Now I want his sister to cry also like I did
Its a cycle that sometimes both parties cannot escape. It starts with a text and ends with a text and loops all over again
So true...Bare minimums in all areas...
"...but my love doesn't have walls." This line hits hard.
❤
Yeah, me too
I didnt really understand it. Can you explain ?
What is that line mean?
@@hayamkhaled7424
She was referring to the metaphorical walls he put up to keep people (her) from getting too close- she loves him and wants to be open and share all of herself with him- no walls: letting her defenses down, giving it her all, etc.
She wants a REAL relationship- not just being told he’s “not in the right place “ for a relationship.
they don't want you to leave but while you're with them they take you for granted. when you're about to leave they beg you to stay, you stay, nothing changes. ladies/gentlemen ,stop running in circles. right when you feel unwanted and not enough it's time for you to leave.
This is so true.
Easy to say, 4 kids, stay at home mom, no job…. gosh
Infinity ♾️
😅@@butfirstcoffee1648
I think people need to realise that just because you love someone and they love you- does not mean you are meant to be in a relationship. People show you how they feel about you, its your job to listen. Not pick out the pieces of information you like and discard the rest pretending you 'didn't know'.
Wow. Interesting point. What then should these people do with their love and feelings?
Dang, that was well said.
Neither of them is a bad person. And they're actually both to blame for choosing incompatible people to be with. He claims to love her but can't even validate her feelings. She claims to love him but doesn't even like his writing or his cooking. They are both seeking to fill a void within themselves that only they themselves can fill or possibly find in other people.
Exactly! Reminds me of an upload Teal Swan regarding “incompatibility a harsh truth in relationships” or something like that.
@@allssids to love and respect themselves enough to wait for the one that will reciprocate (to love and to be loved), because everyone deserves to be loved.
I am in this current situation for 7 months and counting. It's crushing my peace. It's damaging to my soul. It's so hard to be with a guy who is never out but completely IN in my life. It affects my productivity, it affects my routine... EVERYTHING. I wanna stop, but I am too weak to let go because he's the only guy I loved like this for a long time. I kept on praying to God for helping me get out of this situation, because I am tired. Really, really tired. 😢
Pray and bring your burden to God ask with faith relentlessly for strength to open your eyes. It’s very important because if you’re not careful when it ends, it might take years. And then you will regret why you didn’t do anything sooner. It’s only a matter of time, you need to think about yourself first..It’s not easy but it’s one those thing that really needs to be faced. Trust me I know. I hope you find the courage to do this. Sending you strength, bless
Babe trust me, I’ve been there but you really have to make the effort to let him go. I’ve been there hun, don’t sell yourself short. It’ll suck soooooo damnnn much but having your peace crushed is not worth it. It’s not worth it! You gotta leave, luv. I know….but you will definitely be in a better state removing someone who takes your presence for granted…it’s time to walk away….
It will kill you from the inside if you don't and your parents didn't bring you up to become someone's door mat. I'm struggling too.
I was in this and worse of it was long distance and I broke up with him even though we weren’t dating, I’m so fucking pissed with him
Get out now. I just ended a 3&1/2 year situationship. Completely broke me because I feel the same way you do about loving someone this long.
how deeply painful it can be when someone unhealed enters your life, claiming to love you, but instead, they bring more hurt than comfort. It’s heartbreaking when you open your heart, hoping for connection, only to feel the weight of their unresolved pain tearing down the peace you once had. They pull you into their storm, making you question your worth, your happiness, and the love you deserve.
It’s as if their emotional wounds find a way to infect your soul, leaving you carrying burdens that were never yours to bear. You might find yourself trying so hard to fix them, to understand their pain, hoping that your love will be enough to heal them. But instead, you feel drained, overwhelmed, and sometimes even lost in their chaos.
What hurts the most is that you trusted them with your heart. You wanted something real, something fulfilling, but instead, you're left picking up the broken pieces of yourself. You never asked for this heartache, this pain that seems so unfair. You deserved love, but all you received was a reflection of their brokenness, and it has left scars on your spirit that may take time to heal.
In moments like these, it’s important to remember that their damage is not your fault, and you deserve so much better. You deserve someone who lifts you, who cherishes your soul and brings peace into your life, not more pain.
Situationship only handled by emotionally unavailable people / unhealed people.
im that person...can anyone tell me how to heal from this..
i really need help
@@MeowMeow-fk3eh you can try therapy or weed or friends or family or writing. But I'd try meditating for 10 minutes every morning and night. Just close your eyes and breath. Maybe it'll take more than one thing or happen randomly. Good luck.
Shouldn’t start this in the first place..
people accept situationship when deep inside we don’t feel we truly deserve love & care
the more we raise our self worth, the easier it would get to detach & let go naturally
@@MeowMeow-fk3eh honestly lost of reading until it changes your mind set. First thing I do when I wake up is listen to uplifting motivational videos to find my worth. I won’t get out of bed until I know it! Try reading or listening to -Love life by Matthew Hussey - and also -Win your break up by Natasha Adams- I know it’s no competition to “win” your break up by that book does give you the FIRE to push forward! If you don’t like reading listen to it on audiobook. Invest in yourself and give yourself all the love you would have given them. It will take time but you WILL HEAL!
To be extremely honest the comment section is far superior dialogue on this subject than the film’s. The film doesn’t begin to express the depth of the watcher-contributors.
I agree. This short movie is shit
This is the first time I've seen a film about situationships. These issues are not discussed enough. I enjoyed the film. It's healing and made me feel I'm not alone in this world; my experiences are something people across the world experience too. We need more of it.
I love how it inspires the conversation and the depth. Its perfect.
Honestly
Because in real life -- its whats not said, not done -- that defines a situationship
❤ I wish they could show this in schools. I'm in my first ever situationship at 39, and you would've thought I would've learned. Brilliant short film, the emotion packs a punch right to the core.
You sound self aware. You can free yourself at any time. Wishing you the courage to do so from someone who's been there.
@@heyjavonnejayThank you ❤
Im in my first situationship and it hurts because i care for this person so much and he knows it. As for him i dont know how he feels. I cant walk away and i know I should
I’m in my first one too, started at 37, in 41 now
Me too, first situantionship at 39. 3.5months later, after dealing with an awful avoidant and constant disrespect I've ended it. Never ignore your gut feelings or sacrifice your basic needs for somebody who never cared enough in the first place, it'll put you in a place of anxiety and break your self esteem.if you let it.
As soon as the guy said he was cooking, I knew this short film would hurt. I've been in a situationship before. It is very hard to separate the idea, from the person.
oh yeah the cooking part..I met one nice guy at the beginning of the year through hiking and we started to hang out more (I was the initiator).
In the end, we would meet every week for 2x or even 3x sometimes for sports and other activities..Once he cooked for me his traditional algerian food, and I was so positively shocked (no one ever did the cooking for me and I didn't also hang out so much in guys apartments before) and I stayed for 5 hours with him, chatting playing video games, expecting all the time some emotion from him, from 31 old guy..And I walked alone to the home around 2am, he didn't even offer to walk me so late..
I don't need to say that I was so confused every time after we met, and he cooked for me even a second time and I did a stupid thing again and stayed there min 5hours..and nothing..
That was for 1,5month and I couldn't continue like that, I had moments where I wanted to ask him on a date even though I am a girl but thankfully I didn't'..I was so confused, mad how is it possible that someone shows you his nice side and hang out and laugh every time and jokes..and when you finally break all that and your head and you stop calling him and giving ideas for meetups..then is all gone. After one month he did call me to go out on coffee, but it was with other friends I realised, not just us two. 🙂 The second time he called, I wasn't free and that was it..I never had wished again to be alone with him, I had such a strong connection or fantasy no idea..thank God it is behind me.
@@nemaimena2590 did you ever say about your feelings to him?
@@nemaimena2590tbh I can't understand your whole story bcs the grammar is messy bruh
@@nemaimena2590 not sure, but it seems like the guy just had good times with you as a friend nothing more... it can't move forward unless one part reveals his feelings to another. Because you didn't it could't move to the next step. You seem to be think too much in gender stereotypes, eh?
@@nemaimena2590sad but u gain a experience lesson ❤
This was a really good film. As someone who's been stuck in this cycle before, I felt myself really relating to this story.
Be strong like the woman in this movie. Let go of the relationships that you can not understand. I had the same experience. The other person uses you as a tool to fix himself. They might say, " I love you!" But believe me, they don't mean it. They play you and make you gain a special feeling toward them. So they get insure that you can not go easily. You need someone to be totally honest with you. Whenever I asked him to clarify our relationship, he would cleverly dodge it. At the same time, he was flirting with me. I was confused and didn't know what to do. One part of my heart was telling me that he may be in love with me, too. The other part was rejecting the idea of love as I was witnessing his weird actions. You try to endure the confusion and trick yourself into staying in a relationship that is not suitable for you. But, like the lady of this movie and like me, someday you come to yourself and try to have a serious conversation with him. You make everything clear. Your true feelings, your pure intentions, and those fantasies that you have made in your mind due to his actions. He shattered your feelings and used you. A true lover would never do these to his beloved.
LET THEM GO.
Strong? She starts by smoking weed(maybe) goes in questioning everything (hyper vigilance) takes an aggressive stance and as ever brings up past problems in a pointed and not one bit charitable way and refuses to see his side of things on anything and uses the time to unload rather than meet on equal footing at all. Textbook professional cry bully behaviour.
She let her walls down (walls she professes not to have) then beats him with them. He opens up about his book and she passive aggressively goes on a tear down tirade. Perspective is everything I guess. We paint things with our own point of view. Guess it's hard to stay objective with things when it draws us in emotionally.
not many people are emotionally mature enough to admit such a phrase as “my love doesn’t have walls”. this is growth. great short❤
What is it mean?
What is that line mean?
I think she means she loves too strongly, she is either all in or not, not in the specific way he needs her to be for him. It could also mean that she knows her love for him wouldn't be in her best interest
If you ever find yourself in this position, don’t ever explain yourself to a man like this it’s embarrassing. He does not care. He’s going to call another girl as soon as you finish your little speech. This will only make it worse cause he knows he still has you emotionally. Just silently leave the person alone cause they will never leave you alone if they know you still want them.
That's the comment I was looking for. Thank you.
She did that for herself. It had nothing to do with him. She created a space to receive the peace of mind she needed after years of wondering what happened between them. Hence the last shot of her smiling, satisfied, to herself.
@@angelafutch4776 good comment! Sometimes you need to express things to go on.
@@Gabi-wm7yk you need to express that to a therapist not the person that never cared in the first place, I promise this doesn’t help. Especially if they don’t give you the reaction you expected. This could potentially make things 10x worse
@@angelafutch4776 no baby, creating space would simply be moving on and not going over there thinking he wants you now and getting mad when he doesn’t. Express these emotions to a therapist who can actually help you heal in a healthy way. This will not productive, it’s a fictional movie.
Currently stuck in this cycle after almost two years. I was once bold enough to finally ask the “ how do you feel about me” question and his response was “I like you and enjoy you, why you ask, is your life changing and we have to stop talking?” That tore me apart but I still kept myself convenient for him. I love him but I think I’m going to end it for my sanity.
“It tore me apart but I still kept myself convenient for him. “ that hit me
Ex will always be ex for a reason. There's no such thing as being friends after a breakup. Situationship is the most awkward yet heart breaking situation for people who sincerely searching for authentic relationship.
There can be friends after breakup. You can't be friends when one is "madly in love" with the other, as she says. But for example my first relationship (16-19) was very toxic. I was extremely anxiously attached and she was extremely impulsive and unempathic. When she broke up she had to block me. In the months after I was able to step back, realize the toxic nature of our relationship on both sides, grow and heal. So after months we spoke again. Veeery rarely at first, checking in every other month or so. With time we started to talk more. And now we have been very good friends for the last 5 years. There never has been romantic interest from either side since the breakup. Maybe one day it'll stop working out, idk. But for now its a good streak.
Situationships are extraordinarily painful. Worst relationship experience I’ve ever encountered. Took me to realize I was dealing with a sociopath/ narcissist.
😂 any person that does not go with what I have planned in mind is a sociopath or narcissist
Why is everybody like these nowadays?😂😂😂
Most probably YOU really were…
It's all about self respect
Value your self
Set strong boundaries
In general, life may be complicated and people are too, but no one should ever have to settle for a situationship. You all deserve someone who will love you the way you want to be loved. That person may be hard to find, but trust me they are out there. And when you find them, all the pain it took to find them will feel like nothing
Thank you
Really interesting point of view unfortunatelly sometimes we feel so lonely that we are willing to accept only a few drops of love despite were full of it to give at the end theres nothing to regret cause all we go through is a path to our growth we need to keep strong there will be always someone,its just matter of the waiting And being positive youll manage to love again
Let's be real. They didn't have positive impact on your life. They didn't make you a better person. You just had attachment issues and scared to lose something you once loved. You made them seem more valuable than they actually were. Don't waste anymore time. There's someone better waiting for you. Be true to yourself, be true to your feelings and be true to the other one. Don't think of the outcome. The right person will see through your antics and like you. Don't make love a game to win. Don't fear sadness. Sadness on solid ground can't cause much damage, rather it makes you wiser, but happiness on weak scripted grounds might blow off sooner than you expect. Unless you both are shallow then that's a compatibility. It's hard to find a solid partner and it's for your own good, development. We might feel dejected but somewhere we know our standards are too deep or we are different. Yeah, only if you walk the talk
If anything, she had an impact on him to the point he could finally have his shit together and committed. She on the other hand was the one who got tested hard and left broken to put her pieces back together. She is a giver and he was her lesson. He, has nothing to give.. only took and took and used her generous soul to move on & build a different life.
@@HananBenNafa yes definitely!!
❤
Like this skit here, i think situationships are created between someone with avoidant attachment style and someone with anxious attachment style. It is weird to see what kind of trauma it can lead to with the anxious and what kind of late life struggle it can give to the avoidant.
I was in one too, I was the anxious one and this legit gave me flashbacks. It's just so beautiful! Thanks for sharing!
How do I know if I am an anxious type?
@@wanjer.i Self reflection: it often happens a while after the situationship and you see what you did wrong and you slowly but surely go on a journey to meet yourself and try to heal the past🙏🏻
That "avoidant" man is usually just highly narcissistic. He enjoys having control over women and emotionally abusing them.
If you want you can also do a pretty good test, just google attachment style
Indeed. Very true. I have anxious and she avoidant.. she knows that I love her but she can’t commit. I can’t to stay on like this …but it’s hard to let her go 😢
We all deserve a love that is not confusing. If you feel you are not being treated right, JUST LET GO. That’s what I learnt after moving on from a situationship, and I’m deserving all the best things now.
This happened a lot now. If you're unhappy, just leave, don't have to confront cause you know what you wanna know.
💯 coz exactly what is the point of confrontations
been in situationship for 3+ years. i thought i wasn’t enough. after realising my worth, i blocked him. currently with the loml and i know i am enough and i am happier
Yayy❤
What is loml
@@Frederiekje221Love Of My Life
Love of my life@@Frederiekje221
Love of my life
I deeply felt it. I saw myself reflected in the same exact scenario only with different actors. Those same exact words I said to him, “ if you truly love me, let me go”.
Each time he would reach out, hope would poke its dumbass face and all I’d get was hurt.
Sadly each time you give in, a little more of your self esteem, self worth, confidence and dignity chips away making it even more difficult to resist.
Men that knowingly play with woman’s emotions this way are some of the most selfish and cruel kind of people in this world.
"Men that knowingly play with woman’s emotions this way are some of the most selfish and cruel kind of people in this world." And yet many of these men don't even KNOW the hurt and damage and pain they cause. Yes, there are the "Dark Triad" men out there who know full well what they are doing. And karma will pay them a visit in one way or another. However, most avoidant men are just trying to protect themsleves with their twisted coping mechanisms. It truly sad for everyone involved. I tell women to take on the FULL RESPONSIBILITY of protecting yourself. Leave these types of men CLEAN ALONE at the first sign of him being emotionally available. Work on your anxious attachment so that you don't get sucked into this cycle.
It’s not that he didn’t or couldn’t date he just didn’t want to date you. Relatable AF
Short but truly effective! I love her last line.
"My love doesn't have walls".... Wow
It’s all about the unpleasant hope. Some people assume it’s bad timing while it’s actually not meant to be and never will!
"My love doesn't have walls" that hit like a ton of bricks.
It happens that two people love each other very much but what they have to accomplish doesn't mesh. It hurts.
Has a clever twist. At first you think it's her, then you find out it's him who lacks commitment
What was the reason why he did not choose her in th first place?
No I knew it was him all along lol
@@jesmm-p11h he chose someone else, probably his ex.
No, I knew. You see the stress in her showing up. I've felt that. The genuine surprise of grand and small gestures. Keeping things and being surprised they did. The wanting it but hesitation in receiving. And what really sent it over the moon was her challenging him when he said he put himself in his book and dug deep. But then says it was subtle. Bro has those walls even with himself. With feelings. I didn't need to even see past 3:30 but I did. Then his own emotional confusion. Calling something a relationship he kept from being a relationship. Her pain. You can see the whole thing. Avoidant attachment. Intimacy issues. The fact there was another woman that he never told he loved. The loops between them. Always having distractions. The criticism. The "what do you wanna know". The having commitment with someone who he didn't feel as strongly for because it's easier. Limbo. Wanting back in life as friends because he can't offer more.
It's clear, always him!! 99.999998%
The music, the acting... Everything is just amazing
Not really
I had been in situationship when I was 23 for a year. After that I have never had a relationship cos it really destroyed all my thoughts, approaches to love. For that year I managed to belittle myself so much that I got trauma of not being enough. I am 35 years old right now. I somehow cannot forget myself why I have put myself into such situation and didnt run out when I should.
Don’t be so hard on yourself, you didn’t know better. ❤
You need to forgive yourself. One year having 12 year long consecuences, sounds like the relationship was bad, but the aftermath with yourself was even worse. There is a way out of this, please seek help.
❤❤ Sending love! It hurts a lot but we all deserve a relationship where we can share a nurture and care. Wishing you healing and happiness
I feel you, I have experienced the same
You deserve to be loved ❤
The level of accuracy in this video is so much insane, I am feeling down rn 😢
Just a table and two people sitting across each other having a conversation. How easy, decluttered but yet a good short film.
Nars
He wouldnt open up emotionally. I always stayed with him in his bad as well as good times so we are here in this situationship thing. We love each other but he being the emotionally immature or whatever I cant commit to him! It will destroy me and hurt me eventually which i dont want
He just feels he will lose you if he becomes honest. He doesn't know how you are gonna react when becomes vulnerable to you
@@hritvik7not true. That thought/excuse itself is immature. He lost her anyway, might as well been a man & authentic
Been the emotionaly unavailable person (and still are) in the relationship, didn’t realize i was the toxic element until we broke up and i tried to see what was wrong in my behavior. Go to therapy people, and be vulnerable with someone who doesn’t care so that you can be with someone who does
I thank God for my loving parents who are 25 years happily married, because I genuinely don’t know what this movie is about. My prayers will go for all people who are in situationships, never had a good example of the real love, may God heal you ❤️
Deeply avoidant people create anxious attachment in some instances. I certainly have experienced that. They create so much questioning and instability that you became anxious when in more stable relational frames you are quite secure and calm.
This hit hard ! It a cycle that keeps going around and around leading nowhere, only to end up back were you started….
Woke up from 17yrs of situationship. Still not enough for him to marry me, or for him to even change. Still, surviving.
Omg I really hope you are okay ... sending lots of strength and love❤
Glad you made it! You did what was best for you. It’s hard….. really hard.
Stay strong!
Great movie showing the curse of avoidant and anxious. A lot of “you” statements. Isn’t it better to develop “l” statements? Like, “I love you and I want to be with you.” State your truth. Then let the other respond, and you’ll know where they stand. Choose to accept or reject how they respond. Don’t let the emotions muddle your decision making.
You would think so, until this is the 20th time you do this scenario and you're dead tired of being in a hamster wheel. The woman had already made up her mind at this point, and good for her.
OH MY GOSH! This hit home so hard. For years I have been head over heels for this guy who treated me like this. He would hook up with me and say sweet things and then ghost me or say he wasn't ready for a relationship. Then months later he would contact me and tell me about the girlfriend he broke up with and the cycle would start again. I always kept thinking "Why am I not good enough for him?" I can't believe I let this happen for so long.
Finally I stood up for myself and said he was too old to act like this and it hurts every time he does this. He made me feel like I was the bad guy for calling him out. I realized that I liked the made up this idea of this guy. This person who I thought was amazing and in reality he was just using me for his ego and didn't even see me as a human being.
What makes this so sad is that they will live their lives always loving each other. With the ache of what if and longing.
he doesn´t love her... he loves what she has to offer him, when he needs. Been there!
@@andreacarvalho9564Exactly! He likes how she makes him feel. He brought her there to hear her praise. She gives and gives and he takes.
@@andreacarvalho9564true.....experienced this for 5 yrs.....finally realized only I was the one madly in love.....v v hard to let it go but finally got out of it .....2yrs now much much more satisfied and burden free....feels great❤❤
He doesn’t love her. He loves that there’s someone who loves him when he’s down. He is selfish. He will never see the way she wants him to see her. She deserves better.
This way of thinking can only afford very young people with plenty of time for collecting experience. I also set myself free once and allowed myself to move to another country because of a guy I loved so deeply, just to find out I was not worth a spit to him. It has influenced every single aspect of my love life since. Lesson learnt: Things that should not happen, will not happen. Forcing anything doesn't help. Things that should happen, happen with a surprising ease. Period.
"One day he'll love me the way I love him"...for someone who was in a situationship for 4 years - that hit very hard. All of that time was wasted.
The way ppl who have been there will know she looks this strong now because she had to become like this in order to heal, and she probably went into their situationship so innocent and lightly.
Tnis is such a brilliant short film. Amazing actors. Anyone who's been here will feel this in their core.
Mine told me that he loved me straight in the eyes then a few weeks after he slept with his ex. When I confronted him he replied « I said I love you but I never said it was absolute and that it will last » 💔 these avoidant people needs to be left alone
Omg I’m so sorry
What !!!!
Yep! My situationship ghosted and disappeared on me bc his ex wife came back
I feel we might know the same person 😂
Ohh they do that! "you said you never had a connection like ours" "well, I never said I don't have OTHER KIND of connections" 😂
@@chochasvestidos wow 🤯 mine said in a romantic moment that I was his other half, his mirror… and a few months after he said “well I never said that you are my only one mirror” 😵💫😵💫😵💫
Since I've learned about the attachment types, I see it everywhere.
Good short.
I have a confession to make. I see a lot of myself in him. He does love the lady but not himself. The lady clearly loves him but this is conflicting for him. What he is seeking she cannot provide. That is why her love is not enough. This is termed "the nice guy" syndrome. I only discovered this recently about myself and have began the journey to healing, which most of which, is learning how to love myself, so i can be able to love others.
What is it that he's seeking but she cannot provide?
@td2222 probably his own healing process.
Am also curious. What's that what he wants that she cannot provide???
@@Alicella1320tWiLiGhT It's nothing you can give to him. He has to want to heal from his attachment style himself.
@@glendaanderson4969 ah get it
She was always “unavailable“. Now, not long after, she starts complaining, seeing people, making out with people. She broke me so bad and it still kinda hurts
This was a great film. I am so glad I watched it.
“…but my love, doesn’t have walls”
😢❤
What that mean plz explain?
right in the feels
“But my love doesn’t have walls.”
That is the most terrifying and the most essential thing a woman could ever say to me - but hell on wheels she has to mean it, and follow through.
Situationships are temporary beautiful brave souls you will come out stronger and more resilient, ready to receive the love you deserve from someone better!
Situationship = withholding commitment and selling fake romance for the girl
Friendzone = withholding physical intimacy and selling inauthentic hopes for the guy
Both your responsibility. You are responsible for who you choose. Don’t accept either.
Just realised that this is what I was in so many years ago. Got to a point where I couldn't do it anymore. 2 years it took. Met my now husband immediately after and we've been together for nearly 25 years.
❤🥹
Friggn brilliantly expressed! Every line so succinct but sends you plunging like a broken elevator that doesnt stop.
He swings the other way ..unbelievable
Oh Grace, my dear Grace! I want to reach out and give her a hug. Maybe because I see so much of myself in her. She is me and I am her. Definitely on the better side of RUclips today:)
this is psychological torture and people doing this need to be honest for a change
It's highly narcissistic and they know what they are doing. They enjoy being emotionally abusive.
Corina, you are phenomenal actress and writer - I can feel you have been through this and you KNOW the story you just told.
I am in similar situationsh*t from 2 years.. these days I have lost all my patience and just before typing this I’ve blocked that person from everywhere. I swear I won’t get back to the person again ever cuz it has smashed my self respect for very long. I’m done. I was thinking doing this after some days but watching this and reading these comments quickened my decision. Thanks a lot dear strangers 🌱
Go for it, stay strong!
Please everyone, take care of yourselves. You all are far more worthy of love than you may feel. Please do not waste your time on someone who is not completely clear with you about their intentions or feelings.
this is the equivalent of the friend zone for women. You are just friends except sex is also included.
🥺😢
It's not because those men are narcissistic and are not even friendly to you. Women never see the "friend" side of friends with benefits either lol
@@basicinfo2022 the women that friend zone men aren't? please, they are keeping them around "just in case". It's an emotional toll on the man, sitting around, hoping, waiting she will come around. Friendzone isn't friendship, it's when one person has feelings.
No I don’t agree. The friend zone is we just fucked and now you my friend. In a situationship, a dude will be trickin on you treating you like he yo man then act stupid when you expected y’all in a relationship cause he still got 5 other on his roster he doin it for and will make u feel psycho for thinking y’all go together
@Daydreamerr13 your explanation of situationship is accurate lol the man truly drives you crazy and then calls you crazy when in a situationship.
Have been there so I can feel this woman words and emotions
Don‘t even know why some people praise this thought of a situationship. It‘s a deeply toxic form of relationship, a vicious cycle hurting over and over again
Never grew up with things being like this, it’s just so shocking the way things are now.
What do you mean?
Same!!!😢
Being in situationship for6/7 months it ain't only a months.Memories to be cheerish, the feeling of being desperate for their love.Our overlove makes them feel our existence for granted.it hurts our pride,ego but still finds it hard to let go.we have decided to part our own ways as he wasn't able to move on from from his past experience.The only love languages you can do is to let go . Feelings can't be force just make yourself happy🥺.
This is exactly what I went through with my ex of 4 years. we dated on and off and first met in 2016 and I never thought last year would be the last time I'd ever see him or talk to him.
I wasn't enough for him and we just fell out of love and the spark I thought he had for me was never there to begin with.
he used me as a rebound and a distraction from his ex yet he'd constantly bring her name up and would make up lies about her and even went as far as lying to her about getting back together with me and made up some random chick's name and said he was dating her when in reality he was with me- he broke me and destroyed me in ways I can't explain and I'm terrified of falling in love again..he was my first serious long-term relationship and my first love
Honestly I’m sorry that you went through that as I can honestly say I’m sorry because I’ve been through so many times similar situation where I try to fall in love with someone and it was hard. Even now in my own Situationship where I try to be that good guy try to be that person but it doesn’t feel like I’m doing enough or good enough. I know deep down that you’ll find that person is you’ll indeed find love again you just need to keep working on yourself and succeeding as a right person will come and know your value. Stay humble.
I’ve been in that guy’s shoes. I didn’t even realize I was that bad until after 3years of back and forth and she’s crying and telling me this is the last time and she actually meant it.
It hurts because this is what I felt for 2 years . I kept chasing the guy and realized it's a situationship. I'm wasting my energy. I feel like I don't deserve real love anymore.
"One day he'll love me the way I love him"
I can't believe how much I thought that my love would change him, how much of myself I poured into him. I miss him so much, but I hate him for all he took, all his lies, his not committing while I was there totally committed.
Situationships are all around these days. The portrait of the guy in this movie, his actions and his words explains why...
“I know you will be honest with me” -Guy
“So why has it always been so hard for you to be honest with me?” -Girl
I felt this to my core
I can’t tell if watching this was cathartic or triggering. Both. Whatever. Haven’t seen a short film I enjoyed this much in a while, amazing work 🫶🏼
Bravo 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Boundaries, clear, open, honest communication.
It takes knowing your 'WORTH' and what you want, to walkout of a situationship. Truth is, you're worth much more than you think 🤔!
Wow! Good reminder to never meet him again cause it’s gonna end up hurting as hell! Why be heartbroken again when you’ve tried so hard to be where you are now?
"My love doesn't have walls" - hits hard😞
I wasn't in a situatioship but with 8 years long relationship with the avoidant.
The very notion of a "situationship" has only been defined within the past decade, as the seriousness of sex in our culture has been minimized within the past *several* decades. It doesn't hit you all that hard if a man is hot and cold with you in the absence of any sexual interaction - it's when sex is introduced to the equation that it becomes the topic for a theatrical drama. Men are practical thinkers - make them work for it. Don't just lie down and offer yourself. We could eliminate "situationships" entirely if we, the women, just say no. It's not a compliment if a man wants to sleep with you - it's a compliment if they *don't.* No man who *truly* cares about you will try to sleep with you more often than he tries to just talk to/be around you.
The song is "Meet me in the sunrise" by Mango Jerry btw
I have struggled so hard to find it. Thank you so much!
Thanx
Finally ur back! Great video as always man keep it up!!!❤
Well this video just popped up on my youtube feed and I did just click on it. Then I realized she was kinda part of me who always tried to find out the clarity but then ended up in vain, ended up blaming myself over and over. But then I realized i didn't deserve to be a replacement and i deserved to be loved. Once I discovered he was taking me for granted. I was done. I cut him off out of my life. It was hurting and painful when the last day we talked to each other and I revealed all the things that my heart had been hold those words for 6 months, still wouldn't make his head turn over me. It was like i'm the one who begged for an attention and love. I promise that I would never ever let myself jump into the same position for twice. My past had already said it all.
This is great.. Cried after watching it. Totally related!
Been there done that too, happy I walked away for good...
Masterpiece ♥️ only people who have gone through this can understand.
Got him!!💯The strength you need to deal with those people…Pour it withIN.
It feels so weird when you know you in love with that actual complicated person, love is even more than just saying it 🎉❤
Omg how doesn’t this have more views ? It’s amazing 😭❤️
"Dating" - the fact that she pointed out that the word "dating" sounded so weird is exactly how I feel. Although I can't fully see what I'm in right now, I can sus out that whatever it is, it's not good for me and I deserve far better.
She's such an excellent actress!
Such a great film👍🏻 so glad I got out of my situation - it was only for four months and it was torture! Can’t imagine people who have been in it for longer. Stay strong and I beg you to find the courage to leave :)
Mr. Diaz? Thank you. Im a 34 y o Filipina in Manila, and I was fucking debating why Im not leaving this guy Im seeing and well fucking... Got answered. Today.
Thank you. For making me feel special. Thank you so much 😘 I know what to do now thank you