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Why Our Romantic Relationship Dissolved + Addressing Sadness
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- Опубликовано: 28 мар 2023
- In this video we share more details around the progression of our relationship and the different areas of our connection that have transitioned over the last few years. We get real about what the factors feel like they've created the shifts for us. We share why it feels great where we are now, while also having empathy for how it could feel for you as a viewer, just receiving some of these details more recently. The progressions we have had been gradual and we've both had our own shares of sadness, anger, surrender, and a lot of re-connecting in new, more powerful and authentic ways all the time! Our relationship is and always has been a dynamic, living entity. We feel open to continuing to grow and evolve with it in whatever ways feel aligned for us both and imagine we will continue sharing that process with you here!
Recent video on our differing relationship philosophies: • The reason we don't wo...
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Want to improve your relationships? This channel is for you. Conor and Brittany are a Polyamorous relationship coaching duo who guide people in improving their relationships. Our courses and membership help individuals create amazing relationships, open up to polyamory, or overcome jealousy. Our programs are designed to equip and empower you with the knowledge and tools you need to create the relationships you've always wanted.
When I watch these conversations between Brittany and Connor I get the sense that there is visceral anger that is not being expressed. And the body language is palpable. Holding in of what I would describe as rage. I wonder what is not being said and I would be more interested in that than all the words that are spoken. I also pick up on both of you speaking for each other rather than just solely owning one’s experience. It’s interesting to watch you both.
I do sense the same as what you just said. Despite the apparent conversation and communication there is a lot of unsaid because there is no space to be listened to and it is acting like a diversion
I feel like a kid whose parents just said "don't worry mummy and daddy still love each other and we love you very much" 😂❤. Thanks mum and dad. Love you both too 😘🙏
right? 🥲💚
😅😘
❤
Really important framework:
"A thriving relationship is one that can change and shift to support the needs of both people"
People have to realize that “making it” doesn’t have to mean you are with the same one person until you die. Relationships can be successful and end! It just could’ve run it’s course. I really wish society could see that if it was a good time and you learned a lot and shared great times then 2 months, 2 years, 20 years or whatever it ends up being was a success!
Heck yes!
This is what is missing in the world. Ex-romantic partners that are showing up for each other and not loosing intimacy. This is inspiring! I think that we all love you and want to see your relationship evolve, romantic or not.
Hell yes!
I started watching y’all when I was 23 or so, I’m 29 now. You have played a role in how I communicate to my partner and how I navigate conversation with people in general. I appreciate you both for who you are and the value you’ve brought to my life♥️
So honored 😌😌
❤
Though maybe a little sad at first, allowing each other to grow and settle into a more comfortable long term partnership of mutual respect, fondness, and friendship probably feels infinitely better than forcing something that you noticed you’d outgrown. Also, the love appears to be 100% the same, just shown outwardly in slightly different ways. Love y’all! ❤
Also, toward the end, you mentioned having each other and being set for life, and truly what better feeling in a strong relationship is there than the safety and comfort of knowing you have (and wanting) a connection with someone for life. I still feel like you guys are soulmates/soul partners and that doesn’t have to look a certain way or be rooted in sex or romance for it to be complete.
100% this
Yesss 🤗
So well said! Yes!
So well articulated. 🎉
I have watched your channel for years but never really commented before. When I saw Bridget come into the scene I feel that Conor was kind of pushed to the side and then trying to find himself and a partner that wanted to be with him as much as he wanted to be with them. I’m glad he found someone
In grief and anger I first wanted to say: See, Polyamoury doesn’t work after all. But looking beyond first emotions, I think you guys have shown: Polyamoury is just another form of being in a relationship. It doesn’t by itself make relationships more secure or longer lasting, it just opens more possibilities of being in a relationship to the world. Still people evolve and change and meet new partners - this will always be the case in any form of relationship ❤️
Loved reading your reflection 🥰
I really really loved how you put that.
THIS. The reality is there is NO guarantee for security in a relationship. Love requires risk. There are only people who makes you FEEL safe, which comes from constantly working at emotional vulnerability through, communication and wanting mostly the same things.
It's funny how when a polyamorous relationship ends people think 'see, polyamory doesn't work', but billions of monogamous relationships also end and nobody says 'see, monogamy doesn't work'. When you think about it, all relationships end at some point. Totally agree- polyamory is just a different way of approaching relationships.
I would love to know your brith charts.
We live in a fairytale world where we are raised on paradigms that aren’t necessarily real or healthy for the evolution of self. You’re showing how any/all relationships evolve and that we can find beauty in all stages. You two rock🎉
I feel like the moment Ilya entered this world things changed. It felt like Connor more than ever wass all about your cute little family while Brittany mainly focused on the baby (and Bridgette). That didn't work out. You started living apart and from there you only grew more apart. And with every change you told us how you're now closer than ever. You love each other more than ever. And how right it felt. But everytime there was more space between you guys. I think in all these years I've been watching you guys the one thing I've learned is that there is nothing wrong with the way you live your life, but it's def not better or easier than how most peolple live their lives. Whatever path we choose in life it seems like there's always a part of us that feels denied of something. Whether it's freedom in a mono relationship or feeling secure and loved in a poly relationship. And the way I see you guys struggle always looking within yourselfs for everything. Never expecting anything from someone else.. fighting attachement and feelings of jealoussy. it's exhausting and seems unfair sometimes.. 😅 Anyways.. if you're both happy than that's all that matters. ❤🎉
Sadly you drifted apart after Ilya was born. I mean was there so much pressure on Brittany to not fit in this family topic? This is something I would understand very well. But telling us you love each other more than ever, just without the sexual part i dont buy. You know you are great you make things well but in a way i dont buy theese oh i wanted my freedom and the other part was in stability too much for me so it didnt fit. Brittany you had a schedule and everything planned out- Conor was so caring- ok, maybe to much for you, yeah ok maybe too hard tryed and it made the air thin- cause of fear- and then there you are lost- lost in connection- but if you really looked deep- wasn`t there more to develope? more space between you both which is now hidden under a friendship etikett? i am just questioning, cause you both had a specific vibe, which so often got me "WOW", and then i think a lot of people saw- you were the one quitting this vibe- however you are not guilty i just ask if you feared too much and didnt communicate to let yourself out of the problem with the "deep" and yes the deep is dark and not always bussi bussi i love you, i wanna have sex i wanna have romance, yeah on this you are on the right path its sooo deep- for me there are questions open and i am sure Ilya will be able to ask you someday theese quite intimate and deep ones.....thank you for sharing your opionions and lessons 💪🙏
This just makes me happy for their child who will be able to have a mom and dad who co-parent peacefully without turmoil or friction that their child has to witness
Y'all are amazing models of communication. & One of the only sources I've found discussing the intricate nuances of polyamory! Thanks from a fellow austinite ♡
I really appreciate your acknowledgement of the feelings of loss and sadness that many viewers have expressed. Thank you!
I am happy that the relationship dissolved because it freed Connor to find the love of his life.
Y'all are such an inspiration.. the unconditional love, kindness, compassion, openess, and authenticity that yall embody is on a level I have never seen before. Can't thank yall enough for being so open to sharing your incredibly inspiring lives on here - otherwise I would have never been exposed to what humans can achieve as far as how loving, kind, compassionate, open minded, and authentic one can be. Since I became pregnant I have an extra strong desire and motivation to basically become more like you guys!! - so that this little being will get to see how amazingly kind loving and enlightened humans can really be ❤
Congrats Jordan!!
I feel an underlying tone of toxic positivity in this video, does anyone else resonate with this? It is an unwanted change that neither of you planned or wished for at the beginning of your journey, tbat might have come about due to the lack of unwavering commitment to exclusivity that comes in a poly context
me too, but i came to think that it is projection. maybe we only consider overly romantic behaviour as a sign of love. and not calmness and groundedness. I really struggle with this and would have perceived this video as really aggressive in the past. now i think it is sweet.
I feel toxic positivity too. They are not open to a relationship ending, like they always say things like “we will always love each other” and have love for each other but that doesn’t leave you open to a shifting relationship?
I think you’re right. Definitely toxic positivity here.
I agree and I feel like this is evidence that polyamory doesn't work, and this whole premise is a lie. I practiced polyamory back when I watched them in the past and was miserable- now I'm in a monogamous relationship and the love goes unfathomably deeper. It's not necessary to make ourselves miserable for the sake of getting to sleep with whoever e feel attracted to, and not commit to one person the way God intended it.
And the fact that Brittany said "I could sleep with you any time, it's not a big deal to me" and that she's "not sad" about the relationship ending is ice cold.
I think it’s so magical to see two people stay committed to one another while allowing the other to explore their personal romantic tastes.
What upsets me, I mean not that I have a right to be upset but maybe bothers me, is that you were telling us something completely different . It was so obvious that Brit lost interest when Bridget came but it was denied over and over.
Exactly what I think! I found it deceitful
There was an apparent shift when Bridget entered the relationship. The new transition seems better for Connor.
@ava booky I kind of felt like Bridget really hated men at that time. Maybe not so much now but, I really feel that Bridget pushed Connor out. Especially after Connor wanted to start using he/him pronouns with Ilya.
Right, just keep it real. She’s just happy she’s off the hook now the he’s found someone.
Feel this, too. And have always found it odd that C&B never respond to these types of comments on their videos. For folks committed to authentic relating, it seems intentionally avoidant.
It’s all super nuanced and the fact that you both are still willing to show up for yourselves and each other, and all of us. Speaks volumes.
I also want to say that you don’t owe us any explanation beyond what feels good for you to share, which of course you know. Just feel like it needed to be said
Love you guys
Muah!
You both are incredibly gracious to speak further on your relationship for us viewers who are so invested in the two of you ❤❤❤
This was beautiful guys. I’m happy for the two of you. You guys are doing what feels right to you and honestly that’s bad ass💜
I felt a sort of unease in my body watching this video as well as Conor's announcement with Flora. I didn't realize what that was until you brought up what that might feel like as someone connected to your journey through this platform. Honoring that grief, checking what that felt like for me, is something I didn't realize I needed to do. That reminder is one of the reasons I've followed you both for so long.
You mentioned wanting people to feel good about this new dynamic. This video and your honesty goes a long way to doing that ♥
❤️
The fog of kind of sadness about your relationship evolving has cleared and I can see so well now that you all are your ultimate and true selves. It’s very amazing to see ❤
I applaud you two for being open enough to guide us along your journey.
I love listening to your wisdom and seeing your expansion, your such a great example of unconditional love ! x
Feels so good to get some clarity about these few years! I remember feeling so joyed that y’all moved into your self-described “Barbie dream house,” and then feeling a lot of skepticism about y’all’s authenticity as we started to learn that the triad housing dynamic wasn’t as dreamy for your interpersonal relationships as you’d made it seem. This video feels like you’re finally showing yourselves to us in a way that feels authentic again. ❤ great respect for the courage to finally show up as you are, and not who you think we want you to be
yall are such deep hearted good people, SMART people. ive learned soooo much from you about myself and relationship.
I've been watching your channel for a fair few years now (around 6 or 7) and I absolutely love how both of you keep evolving and not neglect the reality of the shift of your relationship. I've learnt so so much from you and I feel I too have been learning a lot about love and its many facets. Keep rocking life you guys!!
I’m happy y’all are even capable of navigating all your situations. This isn’t the end, just another path in the journey. You’re both amazing & I hope you still make content & brighten up our dayz
Such brave and inspiring beings you guys are! Forever in awe of your ability to adapt and accept everything that comes your way with love and compassion. Thank you so much for sharing your relationship with the world!
The way you describe the relationship dynamic in terms of devine masculine and feminine energy, really helped me to understand the transition, and what we have been seeing unfold (as the viewer). I think you explained it really well. Wishing you guys all the love in what every form that takes ❤
The proof that friendship is real unconditional love, greets from Greece
Thanks for continuing to share! It's been inspiring getting to see different ways that life with partner(s) can be lived outside the heterosexual/monogamous bubble ❤
So much love and gratitude for you both always! Thank you for your authenticity and for being able to share your growth with wisdom and compassion. It's awesome to have examples of "non-traditional" families in community and I have seen you both rock the complexities of family in beautiful ways. Your journey is perfect, and creates space for all of our journeys to exist. ❤
I'm 23 and I have been watching your videos for quite a few years and I've been so grateful for how selfless, opne and vulnerable you have both been on your channels. I feel as a viewer it's so important to remember that you are not obligated to share these things with us, yet you do, so that we can hopefully take something away from your experiences and that has just made me feel really emotional. I feel really privileged to have watched your videos over the years and to see how you've both evolved individually and as a couple is so beautiful. I feel emotional reflecting on how open and honest you both were in this video, despite it maybe being difficult to articulate something that seems to have been a gradual multifaceted process. I appreciate you both for existing and sharing authentically and I am greatly inspired by you both
So much love for you and this beautiful supportive message 💓💓
Truly Thriving Vs Just Surviving.
Much Respect & Good Vibes. 🎶
Thank you for sharing such deep truths about yourselves and together over the years. Very beautiful! I have been watching you guys for about 9-10 years now? Seeing the growth, the progression, the rawness, the truth, and soooo much more is why I have stuck around throughout the years. I feel blessed and honored to be able to see you through all the transitions in your guys lives. Love you all. I wish both of you, your beautiful son, and your relationships well. 💗🙏🏼🫂
You two have been so brave to share so much of yourselves. It's been super interesting checking in with you, over all these years. Watching the level of openess , evaluation, reevaluation and sharing has been an amazing insight.. i dont know where else shares like you too share.Thank you. I want you to that know that my effection and and feature support of both of you is solid. I worry that you feel pressure to stay here on this channel.
Feeling loved through your support 🥰🥰
Loved this video thank you for sharing. I love your work and the insight you share for all of us to learn
love that! love the specifics, so much inspiration ❤️❤️❤️ and love you!
The only thing that comes to my mind is how incredibly unconditional y'all's love for each other is. You two really show us what that is, in all it's forms. So much love for y'all 💖
I absolutely love your maturity. It's rare that people who decided not to be together anymore are able to communicate and respect each other in such a beautiful way. I learned a lot from your communication style, and the lessons about love, relationships, and partnerships you have shared, are what make my own relationship thrive. Thank you for that and I wish you both all the best! I'm so happy that you've found fulfillment in wherever you are in life.
Thank you so much!!
Hey guys, it's me again. I would LOVE for you to do a video on how Parenthood has changed you. What about it was better or worse than you expected, how did it change your outlook. I understand if you don't want to do this. As always sending you love, joy and light ❣️❣️❣️❣️
Thanks for the suggestion! Xoxo
I think this is so inspiring and I wish my parents would have treated each other like this when they decided to end their romantic relationship. Ilya is very blessed!
I should have said this *years* ago: Thank you, truly, for so openly sharing the ever-changing and evolving ‘We’ you are together. For your candid intimacy and trust and courage. You have felt like true companions alongside my own story of relational sense-making, and I know so many others feel the same. ♥️
I didnt' realize that I felt sad about you two until this video. I'm glad you two are still good with each other. Thank you for making this video and for the validation.
With love!
I think there will always be grief in change. But I mostly feel so much joy and peace. Joy that your love, this new love, is thriving in the way it needs to be, and peace in seeing this beautiful version of family you’ve created. Much love ❤
Not knowing either of you personally, just now and then seeing videos, my impression or best guess is this is a truly deep level or uniquely secure honest evolving connection. A super deep version of love that really inspires me. I am sure it must have been very painful and messy at times; that just seems the nature of life and deep connection to have that too. And that's ok. Still really inspires me.
Thank you so much for being so open and sharing lifes journey with us...what a priviledge....much love to both of you xo
I’ve been here since the beginning, I’ve seen your relationship change with the ebbs and flows that make us human. You’re both so mature, respectful and have educated so many of us to be better beings- me included. Change can be hard for people who don’t understand yet how pivotal and healthy it can be. Thank you for continuing to share your personal, professional and romantic experiences evolution with all of even though you don’t have too. I think I am a better partner because of the education you have offered to all of us (always with patience, passion and kindness) Here’s too many more years, friends.
Here's to many more years 💜💜
I have been subscribed for several years now, and you all have helped me to truly see the beauty of what ALL forms, (but particularly poly)of relationship can be! It has been a beautiful journey for me to witness. As I watch this, I feel gratitude and resonance. Your relationship has been a safe space to heal, evolve, and grow. I love your love, and how consciously and respectfully you flow in connection. This was a beautiful share as always. Thank you! ❤
💓💓
How lovely to get to verbalize such profound learnings. Grateful that you share with us and I’m glad you get to live out and celebrate such intentionality and depth of living 🧡
Thank you so much!
I've followed you both for a long time. Before this channel was born. And during your life transition where Conor moved out I was seeing myself a lot in Brittany in enjoying my new relationship, but after the move out things seemed incredibly different in a way I can't exactly say seemed positive. It made me realize that it was a better option to let my original primary partner go because we just weren't connecting the way we wanted to anymore.
I'm glad you're finding these changes to be good. You sound like you're both in a better place, like you know yourselves better. I found Brittany packing a 28 liter bag and Conor from his minimalist apartment when I was a teenager. You're both entirely different people. Time and experience and growth together has changed you. I'm glad you're both in a happy place now.
It's nice of you guys to satisfy our curiosity like this: if anyone finds this video vague or roundabout now, that's on them! I think maybe people were hoping that your relationship was somehow committed, or meant to last, whereas I guess if you didn't share a child and a business, you wouldn't necessarily stay living near each other. As always, commitment needs are personal, and something best discussed early in a relationship!
Thankyou for continuing sharing yourselves with us, you've shaped me in so many ways. Big love 🙏🏼
❤️❤️
I've learned a lot from you guys! I'm glad you are both happy. Thank you for sharing so much wisdom and love. Love you guys 💞❤️
Thank you for your empathy towards us viewers!
Sometimes polyamory can water down a relationship , and when you have more than one relationship its easy get lost in the newness of someone else and forget to prioritize your primary.
As I've had a very hard experience with a breakup that resulted in me question polyamory as something that feels right for me, I have been avoiding your videos for the past few months. However today I decided to watch this video of yours and and it resonated with me and made me feel really good. Not feeling like loosing (in general, in life?) when breaking up is a wonderful thought to me. I also found it heartwarming to see you be so content and loving.
Thank you for sharing this with us. I was trying to do what Brit mentioned and really look into what my attachment was to your relationship and why it made me sad to see it change. You touched on it when you mentioned the sexual aspect. I was struggling to understand how two people who have always been SO sexually attracted to each other could stop having that intimacy. It definitely stemmed from my own fears.
I love that you guys are open to whatever feels aligned and that you are still in relationship and it feels really good to both of you. So again, thank you for sharing. I feel better. Haha! 🙏✨
Haha so happy you feel better!
I’ve been watching your videos since Brittany had super short cute pixie hair and I’m still inspired by your offerings and communications. So this is in celebration of you all - you have role modelled a lot for me and I have been able in turn to model explicit clear loving communication. I am currently going through a ‘break up’ and I’m inspired by your current relating - I’m sure there has been a great deal of work pain and healing to get to the point of offerings this video so I’m just wanting to offer celebration and honouring of you and your family and congratulations to Conor and Flora ✨ love from Wales, by a river with spring bursting through x
Beautiful share. Thank you so much. Sending you tons of love during this time of transitions in your reltationship
You two are incredibly magic souls, and the way you love each other is so expansive, so beautiful, so true. Thank you for showing us a way that love can be, and what we can allow ourselves and each other. Wishing you both peace and joy, safety and freedom
Thanks for this beautiful comment ❤️
Thank you both for sharing so many incredible conversations. I have followed you since my early 20's and I am so grateful to have my life be impacted from your content!! ☀️❤
Love you!!
I've followed you two for a couple years now..just beautiful people! Thank you for sharing your positive spirit..we need more of this in the world 🙏
Yuck!!!!! Who cares???!!
🗣️I love you guys and I love this channel! Thanks for allowing us into your lives like this!!! You guys are the epitome of the kind of connections I desire to have, in all its facets and phases. In my opinion, this is what amicable relationships should (and I don’t use the word should often but I truly feel resonance with it here)/can look like. This particular video makes me sooo excited to meet someone who fits and can shapeshift alongside my path, and I theirs, the way you two do!!! Congratulations on all your success! A big hug and welcome to the family for Bridgette and Flora too 🤗 I’m so grateful to have found you both 💙🙏🏾✨
Great message. Thank you!
Thank you guys for sharing this! I know that you guys have a positive outlook and it seems your transition from romantic to platonic partners has been smooth (as much as it can be).
I guess I’m just wondering if you experienced typical “break up” behaviors like arguments, crying, resentment etc.
I have to imagine it would be a very difficult transition to have your romantic relationship end, have a new baby, and to also see your partner in love with another person. I guess I’m just wondering how you navigated these situations with grace and came out on the other side still being friends and coparents.
Thank you so much for this video. I will write a longer comment tomorrow but just want to say I LOVE and adore you both so much. I have legit been here from the beginning so I felt spoken to in this video. Thank you for that
We appreciate you, Julia!!
The love we share/d will always exist . Energy never dissipates it just changes form . You will always be parents and that is a beautiful thing ❤ a toast 🥂 to new beginnings
Cheers 🥰
Guys you make it work and that’s awesome but to me now you’re just coparenting. That’s not Poliamory. You are two separate couples having a civil friendly relationship for the sake of your beautiful amazing kid. Which is wonderful. But I think if you didn’t have a child there would be zero relationship.
Connor & Britney… watching the both of you inspired me about the possibilities of CNM. Your dynamic and others informed me that cycles of monogamy can be equally challenging paradigm compared to CNM. Every relationship evolves from challenges and what matters is friendship and building a sustainable long term community
Both of you are happy individuals and thank you for sharing your journeys.
My personal lesson is to enjoy my personal travels 21:37 and live a caring life.
namaste!
Thank you so much for taking care of us!!!! This video felt so healing!! Thank you for taking the time to make it, and giving us some understanding of your process. I think about the last time a child is picked up by their parents and that they are never really aware that the last time is the last time. I am sad that I never knew the last kiss was the last kiss. Well, maybe it's not the last one ;) Anyway, you two are really inspiring. The feeling of openness in my chest and heart and mind after watching your video is more present than ever. You inspire me to make brave changes to grow and develop in tune with myself. And to have softness and compassion for others while doing it. LOVE U GUYS
Aww loving you 💗 💓
such a beautiful evolution.. so similar to my own ♥️ love you both!
So incredibly grateful for th❤❤❤❤e message of powerful respect and love. What a gift to be reminded we can learn from each other no matter where we come from or even where we are going. The kindness with which you share, the beauty of this type of adoration is such a joy. Thankyou for sharing this precious relationship. ❤
Beautifully said 🥰🥰
Ive been watching your videos for years and i'm happy to hear the updates... I have definitely been sensing that something was off and i understand now that you guys were in an in between period of not really knowing what was going on and you needed to process it all and go through it all and understand it yourselves before you could come here again and tell us about it... and i'm for some reason feeling like i need to release that attachment i had to your relationship because ouch its a bit sad to see you too not together romantically anymore... and its so strange because we dont even know eachother but i got attached to you both!!! ugh being human is weird haha anyways love you both and thanks for coming back to youtube and sharing authentically and lovingly!! you have thought me so much through the years!!
This was absolutely beautiful! THANK YOU for sharing that non monogamy can be such a divine unfolding. Open relating truly reminds me of life force energy, the ebb & flow & evolution. I hope my twin flame & I can finally be in sacred union, in a loving, romantic, committed, open relating dynamic.
I've been witnessing your relationship since the beginning on yt and I am immensly grateful for what you have shared in that process and so happy to have found such positive relationship role models and been able to see that love doesnt have to follow uncomfortable and unhealthy rules and formats... you have really contributed so much to my personal development, since I found you when I moved out and went to university and started discovering who I really am... now I am at a point in life where I am super happy and content with the relationships in my life and with how I show up for myself and I want to thank you so much for that
We appreciate you 🥰🥰
That look on your face when you know you’ve sold yourself short in life in the most important aspect of your existence
I have been following you guys for many years and the way your relationship has unfolded proves to me that polyamory is working, not the opposite. Its so beautiful to see how you can still be there for each other and support each other in so many ways even though you're not romantic partners anymore. I love you guys keep rocking and sharing the change in your relationships, this is so helpful for me, seeing that other people in polyamourous relationships deal with the same issues as me and my partners do :)
I totally understand you and love your relationship, Im just gonna go cry a bit for my own grief 😅
😅 lots of hugs to you!
Conor’s hair/beard just looks so amazing 😍
Thanks!!
It's also refreshing to witness that romance and sex are always contingent on the desires / needs of the partners, but isn't reqired in a relationship dynamic.
It is amazing how you are still friends and have so much love and respect for each other. I wanted so badly for my ex and myself to have a relationship after our divorce where we could go to dinner to celebrate milestones with our sons but his new wife was not having it. She did not and does not want any part of my ex’s former life in the life they’ve built which includes him not being in our son’s life at all. My ex has not spoken to our sons in almost 4 years. Your child is so fortunate to have so many folks that care for and love them. How wonderful is that! ❤
Your balance of understanding of the divine masculine and feminine and the polarity there is beautifully undogmatic
The complexity of comprehending the developments expressed in the recent series of videos seem a world of difference in terms of the sentiments expressed in “Conor and Brittany defy the odds” video from a year ago; the change in that regard has a jarring feel, along with Conor’s gender expression, language use changes (“bro”), and his emotive presentation are different & very pronounced. It doesn’t seem too surprising that feeling surprised would occur pertaining to the recent videos due to the process of the announced change in the structure of your relationship development. There wasn’t any indication a year ago that what is expressed here would likely occur, so it seems like a fast transition to the viewer. It would be fascinating to hear what inspired the gender expression changes that now present in Conor due to the changing relationship structures, and if that enhanced or initiated the shift overall. Thank you.
I’m gonna take a stab at it and posit that Connor’s coming into his divine masculine energy more was a cumulative result of stepping out onto his own, familiarizing himself with himself more, getting more grounded, having a new child in his life, and coming into the awareness that he was more ready for a sense of groundedness/stability/commitment in his life .
Thanks for this video. Love is love is love, romantic or otherwise.
I have followed for ten years I think…it’s interesting as I don’t live this life and I don’t want to but it’s been helpful and interesting to follow you both. Very mature and kind adults.
Very lovely video, and thank you very much for the clarification. I have a question that I hope I word well! I noticed during the end of your romantic partnership that Conor was very much embracing his femininity but now as you explore this new relationship, you appear to be moving back towards a more masculine facing individual. Was this a significant shift for you? Thank you!
You can tell illiya is everything to her mother ❤ it's really beautiful to witness
This is an amazing and mature conversation!
Your videos are helping me so much! I am in a polyamorous relationship and this is exactly what polyamory means to me - being committed and free at the same time, enjoying the life and enjoying that other connected close people are enjoying the life with me thanks to the connection. Recently me and my partner have realized: Hey, working so hard on trying to convince each other about what works is not helping, let's do one more step of loosing the assumptions about our relationship, let's renovate our relationship once more, this time relaxed and happy. Thank you guys for your channel and for your example of a working polyamory relationship!
I'd be very interested in videos where Connor shares about his journey and inner work regarding the divine masculine.
I feel you do a lot of mental gymnastics and that, in the end, it's just that Brittany doesn't feel Conor is masculine enough for her. Maybe he also feels she's not feminine enough. Of course I'm not talking about the mainstream interpretation of masculine and feminine, but the one that comes from Tantra
Beyond sadness, it makes sense that many people were upset about the romantic relationship dissolving because the entire business you built was built around the successful communication you had. People saw your dynamic and how you related to each other and chose to buy a program, get coaching, or join as a member. For myself, I followed because of the inspiring way your relationship was. So it makes so much sense that people are upset because the main reason many people invested (for me it was hard to budget for it but I wanted my relationship to grow stronger) in a program or programs etc. And while I understand why y'all waited so long to tell followers about this relationship change, it feels a bit dishonest to me. Like avoiding this because you knew you would lose followers and income generation. And I get it. The economy sucks. It's like a vegan food company suddenly starting to sell animal products. It's a BIG change and a massive shift from what this channel. And it's nice your finally saying this straight out and not dancing around it with evasive language. Some of the teachings on here really helped my relationship but some really hurt my relationship. And it's becoming clearer to me why that is. So if watchers are reading this comment and feeling similar, you're not alone. And it's taught me so much about myself and how I really align with other things and I'm so much more confident following MY way. Not their way. And that's my responsibility and I'm owning it and feeling powerful and positive and strong and joyful. I loved this channel and I appreciate what I learned. But I also appreciate realizing and learning how wrong they were sometimes and how vague and unhelpful much of what they taught was.
@@saram3156 oh gosh, the privilege arguments are really tired. I'm a working class public servant in environmental work... I understand financial struggle. I am calling out the BS, whether people want to look at it or not. I'm not demonizing C&B but it's important that we don't have blinders on all the time. Be well ⚡
@@saram3156 Looking for relationship advice from a couple whose income is based on the survival of their own relationship is like getting "how to not cut an ex-partner out of you life" advice from a couple who share a kid? That makes zero sense. With peace and love, that is not a logical comparison or make any sense. When they were a couple, they set up ALL their content to be about supporting relationships based on their communication/relationship decisions. So when people like me invested in their program, we invested based on that platform and based on the success of the relationship being shown to us. Of course we all should use discretion and wisdom when we listen to advice or try new relationship strategies, but it makes no sense to compare that business platform with a couple who are "not cutting out their ex" because they share a kid. Regardless, it is OK that we don't see eye to eye on this. I appreciate this discourse and I hope it helped us both think more critically and feel more empowered going forward into the future. I wish you well! Have a wonderful Monday! The sun is shining here and I hope it is shining where you are also!
@@saram3156 First of all, it is not "obviously" fantastic. Like I said, much of the guidance I took actually hurt me and my relationships. Maybe it is good advice for some people, but it wasn't good advice for me (some was but much wasn't). Blanket statements like that are inaccurate to reality and damaging. I'm done engaging with you about this. I have work to do. Please stop, it isn't productive. I don't enjoy debate or arguments, especially with this kind of direction. Be well.
Hey Rachel. Conor here. Thank you for sharing. That takes courage. I will speak to your share as best I can.
We shared A LOT on RUclips for a long time. It was great. It was what we wanted to do. A lot of it was super raw, real, and honestly, took some serious guts to just give away, opening ourselves up to who-knows-what sort of feedback, criticism, support, trolling, kindness, and so on. In short, opening ourself up to a lot of incoming energy.
That was a choice. And personally, I stand behind it and I am proud of it.
That said, it is a big deal to share the content we did. Over the last couple of years I know I can speak for myself and say I needed a break. I was going through a lot. I needed to find myself, ground down, stop allowing so much energy into my space. I needed to have my process with me - not with you, not with Facebook, not with RUclips. And although we continued to put out content here and there, it was less focused on our relationship, and more focused on philosophical perspectives or relational advice.
When things began to shift as they did in our relationship (3+ years ago), it was not a sudden thing. It was gradual. And it was not until recently (a few months?) that we could look back as we are with considerate retrospection and concisely answer something like, "Why our romantic relationship dissolved". And because we had not been making such intimate videos over the last 2 years, it makes sense that some could feel surprised, let down, confused, and / or a myriad of other things. I have space for that.
I believe what Brittany and I have offered here, and will continue to offer, is incredibly valuable. And of course, we are not perfect. I am certain we have given advice that is just wrong. But I am also certain we have provided an inclusive, compassionate, authentic space for many people to feel seen and supported. So while I completely appreciate the criticisms you have, I also need to speak for the parts of me that need to be seen for their efforts, their gifts, and their vulnerability.
Best Regards and Sincerely,
Conor
Well said. I think that's why it's important for influencers to get professional training, and for us viewers to listen to our instincts. There is a lot of noise, even if well intentioned, out there that makes it hard to think straight.
Thanks for sharing with us as always ❤
Also would love to hear if being less alike in some ways has brought up any challenges with raising ilya or what's your perspective on differing opinions when raising a child in general in any dynamic?
And brittany I know you have shared about pregnancy being a future possibility
Do you and conor still envision making a baby together or are you open to someone else/ alternative ways like sperm doner through ivf?
2 heavy questions I know 🙈 thanks for creating a space that makes it feel safe to ask these questions x
This feels very loving
This resonated with me in a way I was not expecting it to... yet, I'm not that surprised. Maybe because I feel like evolution and change have been (both explicit and implicit) themes of my life, too, these last years. It has been painful and I have lost a lot of connections along the way, while I have gained others and re-built some I thought were gone.
I have gone from being extremely involved in a certain community, even having an administrative position there, to gradually falling away from it. Last year, a line of decisions and practices on my part, and encouragement from some great people, led me to take up powerlifting and become involved in a local lifting club. It certainly help ease the dissonance I felt due to (subconsciously) removing myself from that other community. I went in and out of "taking breaks" from the administrative work there, until I finally made the choice in January to step down. Though it has certainly been a process to come to terms with, I feel (generally speaking) good about it.
I still have good friends in that community, and I also don't find myself being as abrasive when they mention that community to me anymore. The resistance to what is, isn't there anymore; now, I can simply say that "it is what it is". Life goes on.
If there is one thing I've learnt so far in life, it is that there is no 100% guarantee that things will turn out the way you thought they would... it is absolutely valid, and important, to mourn the loss of those attachments and visions. Transitional periods are tough. Yet, I have come to perceive it as that every version of ourselves we experience, is a version that aligns us more with what is true for us right there and then. That shifts, as we go through life.... and that's a-okay!
I'm impressed by the way you guys are still able to communicate so openly with each other, support each other and even maintain a business connection and co-parent together, still. Not to mention that your friendship appears super solid and robust. Truly speaks to the level of maturity you both possess.
I would be so interested to hear your thoughts connected to the feeling of anger caused by unmet expectation/loss of a believe. Do you have tips how to express and share thouse feelings without the anger manifesting in hurtful comments towards the other person?
Love that you share this ongoing journey with us viewers. Thank you
I feel like y'all moving away from each other really hurt the romantic side of your relationship. I kinda knew that would happen watching Britt react in that video y'all posted about it. Although, I am happy for you guys and you taught me a lot about life and I am grateful for that, I haven't followed much since y'all split. You guys were a force. A magnet of love. I hate how things change but, I suppose they have to. I wish you all the best in the future, I'll come back to this channel every now and again to check in still.
Thank you for the kind reflections. We welcome you back anytime
How is this different from just divorcing and co-parenting?