The same applies with friendships; this is why people gravitate towards toxic and fake friends over their friends who motivate them, who help them, who encourage them This is why so many "Real" and "honest" people are single or have few friends 🧡
Sometimes abrasive relationships can exacerbate your own toxic trains. Put the most important thing to do is to always look at yourself see what you can do to make yourself better and do the best to be the best for your partner.❤
True. Your person is not gonna let you get away with toxic behavior because they expect more out of you. They see the best version of you that you may not see in yourself.
The hard part is that when they call you out, you have to be open to receiving the criticism. Unfortunately, one has to become uncomfortable/leave their comfort zone to adequately grow, learn, do better, be better. If you are with a person that wants more from their life and yours, you have to rise to the occasion or get left. People who value their time and future will not sit around too long to play footsies with you. Get your ish together or move out of the way so they can find the person who is ready for them
I left a man I really liked for this reason. He viewed my requests as attacks to control him and I knew he had serious mommy issues to deal with before getting into a relationship. Tried three times, on the third I left.
My ex fiancée left me for this reason. Blindside breakup, 2 months after engagement. After 8 and a half year. I wasnt the overgrown one tho. She was. She felt guilty that she literally does nothing in her life when I work out, get from fat to fit, do my hobbies, get promotions, raises, finish studies, improve my health and myself in many ways. She dumped me in my prime, with a good salary, friend circle (she had none), sixpack etc. She felt so bad that she eventually felt out of love and started to secretly hate me. At the end she called me a narcissist. I went for a therapy for almost a year. I can tell you that I’m not the narcissist but still was devastated. I still struggle sometimes, It was the hardest thing in my life. Fun fact is that I just loved her just as she is. Probably I saw a better version of her than herself.
You ain't never lied. I have grown so much since I been with my man. He does not stand for any of my foolishness. He firmly but kindly holds me accountable. I love it here.
Yep. And she left me. My flaws were too many!!!😂😂😂 Makes me wanna work on them though, so while I definitely will have a long painful journey alone, I think I will be a better man in the end.
Ay man what is meant for you will never pass you. Yall separation was a God send to push you to work on yourself and once its all done, and you're a better version of yourself, she or another lady meant for you will be drawn to you like a magnet.
Just drugs and trouble. And I'll tell ya what- it is a WHOLE lotta fun, until suddenly you wake up and realize we ain't out here having fun anymore. And ya done fucked up. Then you make those grown ass changes. Because it is the only option, unless you wanna be turned into a part of the streets forever.
I’m going through this right now literally. I am having to exercise accountability and handle a few aspects of a previous trauma I didn’t realize were active. I noticed them through my reactions to certain things he would do. I realized I was still operating from old programming that was no longer valid in this situation.
Damn, I'm surprised so many people agree with your statement. I remember when I was ready to meet someone. I told my friend if the lord blesses me with a good man, watch me work this win. About a month and a half latter, he found me and we've pretty much been together since out first date and I have, indeed, been working this win.I KNEW AND I STILL KNOW I DESERVE EVERY BIT OF THIS WIN. I was single for a looooong time before we met. I wanted to make sure I was fully healed and stable before I was even open to the idea of dating. Not once have I ever thought, I don't deserve this intelligent, funny, hard working, emotionally available, beautiful man. Not once but that's just me, I guess 🤷♀️
Unfortunately, people are allergic to accountability. It's always easier to just run or point fingers at others than it is to actually look at yourself and ask what you could've/should've done better. Love this vid, spread it around, people need to hear it.
Truth! That's why a lot of people get stuck at complaining about their exes - they aren't emotionally ready to be in that healthy relationship yet. My fiancé and I triggered each other every week while we were dating lol. You gotta be in it for the long haul.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
The realest talk. Many people can't handle discovering that they are sometimes the problematic one, but the reality is that everyone has work they need to do on themselves.
I do not know if this is relevant to the discussion, but I believe this goes for all types of relationships. I can not speak on marriage as I've never been married or had a partner. However, I have a friend who cherishes and respects me. She's been in my life for eleven years; in those years, she's endured more hell from me than I would like to admit. Yet she never ran or infantilized me. When I was suicidal, she was the first person who cared for me while kicking my shit in to get help. Thanks to her commitment and compassion, I am in a better position and even found a therapist who specializes in my struggles. Never underestimate the humblings from a genuinely good person because they can show you better than they can tell you....and it might not be a show you want to watch...
I relate so much to this. I have an amazing friendship of nine years, and she helped me through my worst times, when I was depressed and had no one. She always call me out right away when I'm wrong too, and help me be a better person. I really hope I can do the same for her.
So I guess this is why my current relationship is taking so much work. He is my person but we're both working so hard to be better people. I've never realized how selfish I was, or how quickly I lost my temper, or how impatient I was until he gently told me how much those things hurt him. And because I love him, I'm changing. He doesn't expect results overnight, but ugh, I wish I could be the woman he deserves. I know it will come in time.
Last week I kept saying to myself man why is this so hard God, why is it so hard? Everything felt easy with everyone else, except him. He holds me accountable to the highest level and wants me to excel and it’s scares me in a way because it does require me to get out of my comfort zone. My relationship with the counterfeits were easy, everything flowed until I couldn’t do it anymore. This video spoke to me ❤️
Yup..working out this love thang with the right one is a feeling I cannot describe...sometimes I wonder if I deserve it...then I realize I do when he gets home😂
I believe the best thing a person can do for themselve is be accountable. It's easy to see others flaws but refuse to acknowledge our own!As an older woman I'm impressed with your mindset and wisdom.Hope that others are blessed and realize that most often the key to happiness starts with self examination and accountability.
1000% TRUTH in everything you said! it’s like looking into a mirror. I’ll hold him accountable for something, he acknowledges it/agrees to work on it but says “you do this too” and I’m like oh damn I do 😅😩
Beautifully said I teared up finally found that challenge and the one who fights for me even against me meaning challenges me to be better and rebukes the terrible thoughts I have against myself. My home team. ❤
Sis you be right on point, keep on letting God use your tongue sweetheart SIGN SEAL AND DELIVER YOUR MESSAGES WITH AUTHORITY OF TRUTH LIKE YOU ALWAYS HAVE 💪🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🤞🏾🔐💯 IM VERY PROUD OF YOU BABY 🤞🏾🔐💯❤️❤️❤️🥂🥂🥂👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I love my girl so much like I be telling her I’m not going NOWHERE EVER IN LIFE so that’s the last thing she gotta worry about, I’m just taking time to learn her and understand her more bc as her man that’s all that I can do, and she come first to me so I love it
What I fear is that I'd never know my ACTUAL flaws. I rarely got criticized by my exes. Sometimes I think back deeply so I'd try and know what went wrong. I always ended up ending it cuz things weren't going okay. I wish I'd have an honest talk about how I contributed in the failures of my relationships.
@@Kontroversial84 Am aware I have commitment issues but I also dated people who clearly weren't good for me. My family and friends would tell me how naive and empathetic I am but I think am just a coward. Love, even the toxic kind, scares the shit out of me. It's sad but I can't explain it.
One needs to learn how to hold THEMSELVES accountable first and be somewhat self aware...and know how to speak to someone w/o catcing a bad attitude and getting defensive when someone respectfully calls you out on something for YOUR own good...No Man, Nor Woman is responsible for the others bad behavior. You have to have the ability to check yourself..or at least not say anything until youve let it sit for a while. That way you process it more and reduce the risk of jumpin off the deep end and saying or doing something you'll regret later..Better contain that mess!
This is what a good woman is about. Hope you get yourself a king. Women like this deserve the absolute best. The rest of yall? You can open your own door and carry your own shi*
True! Wishing ALL who want Healthy Healing Loving Relationships the Strength, Endurance, and Faith it takes to make them work. Put God First, Pray Often, Allow Your Spirit to Guide You. Infinite Love and Gratitude, Asè Namasté AMEN 🙏🏾💗
That "healthy" relationship doesnt go by without learning what a "toxic" relationship is. Yin and yang. If proper adults actually talked out their problems now and actually work things out, you can turn trash into treasure
It is the light that exposes darkness Ephesians "For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9 (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10 and find out what pleases the Lord. 11 Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12 It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. 13 But everything exposed by the light becomes visible-and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. 14 This is why it is said: “Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” 🙏
This is fcuking true 🤔 I thought I m very self sufficient n less tolerant. But the moment my gf came into my life , I realised, I was self sufficient because i was afraid to trust anybody n i wasn't less tolerant, i was just active on fighting mode but then i understand my own flaws. She take care of my house better than me so now i can relax on focus on my job perfectly
It exposes whether you are open to accountability or allergic to it. Accountability is so important for any person to improve in life. No one is perfect, and so we must make mistakes to learn. The problem lies in denying that you ever made mistakes in the first place.
I knew this was gonna be good reading the title, but I'm definitely dealing with this right now. Got interrogated about it a couple days ago thanks to my mother, spent the last hour or so thinking about trying therapy again, and then this pops up.. Like Lord, you can stop sending me all these signs. I get it 🤭😅
This is why I feel some people stay picking the wrong people to be in relationships with. Because they know they have bad flaws, but they don't want to hold themselves accountable for it. If they stay in bad relationships, they can always be the good guy/victim in their relationships.
Im not doing it again. Don't want it, not having it!!!! Nobody wants an old man to take care of- all they want is a nurse and a purse. Ilove life on my own FINALLY nothing required of me.I adopted 3 abused children, had my own son, worked 2 jobs all my life, rescued over 100 dogs healed them, tehabilitated, taught manners and obedience then adopted them out to loving homes. Now I live for me. With whats left of my life. Just want to be left alone
PREACH! Your person will make you a better person in turn. It’s not their job, but that’s the influence they should hold. I didn’t realize that until I met my man. ❤
One of the most beautiful messages I’ve seen on RUclips. Unfortunately, people don’t keep good individuals around long, for the very reason that she stated.
So true, and I’ve never been more insightful about myself. When you find this and have to face it….you’re exactly where you need to be. The most liberating, humiliating, and eye-opening experience I’ve ever had to face and I love/adore him even more each time, we grow together.
this just came up on my home page, veryyy true words and a good thing to know for people who think this signifies danger and toxicity. like some are not used to being vulnerable or allowing themselves to be flawed and seen by someone, so when this happens it can make you think it's the opposite of healthy and safe. v wise 🙏
I definitely agree that it exposes you. But I'm not sure if you should always face it. Meaning just because you're in a healthy relationship doesn't mean this is the ultimate relationship for you. I think at that point think to yourself is this the person I want in the end if not fold. I gotta go and work on those flaws while single.
Damn right, my woman holds me accountable and I do the same for her, we’re not perfect but we’re perfect for each other because we make up for the shortcomings of the other one
Thank you very much for talking about this, its been happening with me and my boyfriend, we're challenging each other to be better versions of ourselves. It is hard work but also beautiful. I want to be the person he deserves.
Yes, love it. Both people have to work on their flaws to make the relationship work. Everyone deserves someone who is genuinely all in with them, especially if they have a big heart ❤
Crazy how I needed to hear this. It makes so much sense. I guess this is what I’ve been trying to make sense in my head. So this really helps with all that. :)
Being in a healthy relationship is what ended up finally getting my flagged by my doctors for bpd I. Would've never gone to the doctor, or considered my own mental health to seek treatment, had i not first been made to finally be able to look at myself without judgement.
This gives me anxiety 😅 I’ll fold but I’m a people pleaser. I’ve had people leave me so letting them see my flaws scares me cause a lot leave the moment they learn something about me and it doesn’t align with them. Pray for me 😓
I was a good bf the first two years I was a bad husband the first two years. But I thank God I / we have grown. Been together almost 10 years. Married for almost 8. ❤️ my wife. You’re speaking the truth.
OmG, this! is the reason why I feel so awful when I'm with a good guy... seeing my own flaws is almost unbearable (some kind of inferiority complex I guess) It's all good as long as I can act properly, but as soon as stressful situations show up: glitch in my brain and I just become a horrible person 😅... oh no!
My pastor told me a long time ago " getting married is like looking in a mirror" took me years to finally understand that.
The wise never marry that’s why they remain otherwise lol
lol your pastor haha
@@NobodyImportant-ef3delol my pastor
@@isaiahjack3140lol these guy's pastors
I was just about to drop the mirror analogy
The same applies with friendships;
this is why people gravitate towards toxic and fake friends over their friends who motivate them, who help them, who encourage them
This is why so many "Real" and "honest" people are single or have few friends 🧡
PERFECT STATEMENT!!!!! I am dealing with someone who holds me more accountable than anyone has ever done!!! I know that he is the one!!!!
I feel you!
How many times have you cheated on him?
He must have a lot of time on his hands
well i hope he is the one... and sorry for past relationships that failed
@@Hatouken aye man, its a corner of the internet where women are actually taking responsibility for their own outcomes. Why you pressed?
Was anyone else snatched up by this statement?
Snatched allll the way up!!!
Not me...I'm not a "chosen" woman.
It makes sense, though
Me 🥲
Sometimes abrasive relationships can exacerbate your own toxic trains. Put the most important thing to do is to always look at yourself see what you can do to make yourself better and do the best to be the best for your partner.❤
Jokes on everyone because who said that theres “good” anyone out there we all have flaws some people are just better at hiding theirs. 🤷♂️
True. Your person is not gonna let you get away with toxic behavior because they expect more out of you. They see the best version of you that you may not see in yourself.
The hard part is that when they call you out, you have to be open to receiving the criticism. Unfortunately, one has to become uncomfortable/leave their comfort zone to adequately grow, learn, do better, be better. If you are with a person that wants more from their life and yours, you have to rise to the occasion or get left. People who value their time and future will not sit around too long to play footsies with you. Get your ish together or move out of the way so they can find the person who is ready for them
I left a man I really liked for this reason. He viewed my requests as attacks to control him and I knew he had serious mommy issues to deal with before getting into a relationship. Tried three times, on the third I left.
@@user-rx7uh9mg4f You did the right thing, I know you will be so much better moving forward. ❤️
Lmao you're lost
My ex fiancée left me for this reason. Blindside breakup, 2 months after engagement. After 8 and a half year. I wasnt the overgrown one tho. She was. She felt guilty that she literally does nothing in her life when I work out, get from fat to fit, do my hobbies, get promotions, raises, finish studies, improve my health and myself in many ways. She dumped me in my prime, with a good salary, friend circle (she had none), sixpack etc. She felt so bad that she eventually felt out of love and started to secretly hate me. At the end she called me a narcissist. I went for a therapy for almost a year. I can tell you that I’m not the narcissist but still was devastated. I still struggle sometimes, It was the hardest thing in my life. Fun fact is that I just loved her just as she is. Probably I saw a better version of her than herself.
You ain't never lied. I have grown so much since I been with my man. He does not stand for any of my foolishness. He firmly but kindly holds me accountable. I love it here.
Same here.
Yep. And she left me. My flaws were too many!!!😂😂😂 Makes me wanna work on them though, so while I definitely will have a long painful journey alone, I think I will be a better man in the end.
Ay man what is meant for you will never pass you. Yall separation was a God send to push you to work on yourself and once its all done, and you're a better version of yourself, she or another lady meant for you will be drawn to you like a magnet.
Also, when you meet the one for you, you'll go hard for her anyway because making her happy will be one of your top goals.
awareness is the first step bro! dont be afraid to better yourself for the next person coming your way
yes, you can do it!💪🏻
Kudos 2 u 4 wanting 2 work on yourself instead of running 2 another relationship.
I felt that 'ain't nothing in these streets...' 😂
That's the age talking... 🥵
chill out
she’s not wrong haha
Just drugs and trouble. And I'll tell ya what- it is a WHOLE lotta fun, until suddenly you wake up and realize we ain't out here having fun anymore. And ya done fucked up. Then you make those grown ass changes. Because it is the only option, unless you wanna be turned into a part of the streets forever.
Brrooooooo😂
I’m going through this right now literally. I am having to exercise accountability and handle a few aspects of a previous trauma I didn’t realize were active. I noticed them through my reactions to certain things he would do. I realized I was still operating from old programming that was no longer valid in this situation.
I am you, you are me. We're going to get better!!
Amen. I had to do the same. He was worth the work. Still is.
Say that again! When you meet that person your prayer changes from God send me a good man to Lord, make me better for him cause I don’t deserve him.
keep fighting. at some point the work needs to be done
just sucks yalls didnt do it earlier but hey thats whole lotta different story :D lets fight together now, think got no choice
I wish this happens with me
But you do deserve him. You deserve him and so much more for yourself because you ARE worthy of that love. Don't sell yourself short.
Damn, I'm surprised so many people agree with your statement. I remember when I was ready to meet someone. I told my friend if the lord blesses me with a good man, watch me work this win. About a month and a half latter, he found me and we've pretty much been together since out first date and I have, indeed, been working this win.I KNEW AND I STILL KNOW I DESERVE EVERY BIT OF THIS WIN. I was single for a looooong time before we met. I wanted to make sure I was fully healed and stable before I was even open to the idea of dating. Not once have I ever thought, I don't deserve this intelligent, funny, hard working, emotionally available, beautiful man. Not once but that's just me, I guess 🤷♀️
Personal responsibility, accountability, and purpose. Very true
Unfortunately, people are allergic to accountability. It's always easier to just run or point fingers at others than it is to actually look at yourself and ask what you could've/should've done better. Love this vid, spread it around, people need to hear it.
Truth! That's why a lot of people get stuck at complaining about their exes - they aren't emotionally ready to be in that healthy relationship yet. My fiancé and I triggered each other every week while we were dating lol. You gotta be in it for the long haul.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
WTF, A counselor can't bring up ur ex back if she don't love you anymore nobody can bring her live back 👁️👄👁️
The realest talk. Many people can't handle discovering that they are sometimes the problematic one, but the reality is that everyone has work they need to do on themselves.
I do not know if this is relevant to the discussion, but I believe this goes for all types of relationships.
I can not speak on marriage as I've never been married or had a partner. However, I have a friend who cherishes and respects me. She's been in my life for eleven years; in those years, she's endured more hell from me than I would like to admit. Yet she never ran or infantilized me.
When I was suicidal, she was the first person who cared for me while kicking my shit in to get help. Thanks to her commitment and compassion, I am in a better position and even found a therapist who specializes in my struggles.
Never underestimate the humblings from a genuinely good person because they can show you better than they can tell you....and it might not be a show you want to watch...
I relate so much to this. I have an amazing friendship of nine years, and she helped me through my worst times, when I was depressed and had no one. She always call me out right away when I'm wrong too, and help me be a better person. I really hope I can do the same for her.
Yeah, I can feel that. My woman is constantly making me work for her
Make sure she passes your requirements, bro! To thy ownself be true, then you will know.👈🏽 Fact 👈🏽
You said a whole lot in little over a minute what most these RUclipsr would take hours trying to explain. I heard this and literally had to drop the 🎤
So I guess this is why my current relationship is taking so much work. He is my person but we're both working so hard to be better people. I've never realized how selfish I was, or how quickly I lost my temper, or how impatient I was until he gently told me how much those things hurt him. And because I love him, I'm changing. He doesn't expect results overnight, but ugh, I wish I could be the woman he deserves. I know it will come in time.
Last week I kept saying to myself man why is this so hard God, why is it so hard?
Everything felt easy with everyone else, except him. He holds me accountable to the highest level and wants me to excel and it’s scares me in a way because it does require me to get out of my comfort zone. My relationship with the counterfeits were easy, everything flowed until I couldn’t do it anymore. This video spoke to me ❤️
Yup..working out this love thang with the right one is a feeling I cannot describe...sometimes I wonder if I deserve it...then I realize I do when he gets home😂
I believe the best thing a person can do for themselve is be accountable. It's easy to see others flaws but refuse to acknowledge our own!As an older woman I'm impressed with your mindset and wisdom.Hope that others are blessed and realize that most often the key to happiness starts with self examination and accountability.
1000% TRUTH in everything you said! it’s like looking into a mirror. I’ll hold him accountable for something, he acknowledges it/agrees to work on it but says “you do this too” and I’m like oh damn I do 😅😩
Beautifully said I teared up finally found that challenge and the one who fights for me even against me meaning challenges me to be better and rebukes the terrible thoughts I have against myself. My home team. ❤
Sis you be right on point, keep on letting God use your tongue sweetheart SIGN SEAL AND DELIVER YOUR MESSAGES WITH AUTHORITY OF TRUTH LIKE YOU ALWAYS HAVE 💪🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🤞🏾🔐💯 IM VERY PROUD OF YOU BABY 🤞🏾🔐💯❤️❤️❤️🥂🥂🥂👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
You speak nothing but the truth. Everybody think that they have so many options but the truth is we really only have one.
I needed to hear this because i have an amazing man in my life who adores me.
I love my girl so much like I be telling her I’m not going NOWHERE EVER IN LIFE so that’s the last thing she gotta worry about, I’m just taking time to learn her and understand her more bc as her man that’s all that I can do, and she come first to me so I love it
What I fear is that I'd never know my ACTUAL flaws.
I rarely got criticized by my exes. Sometimes I think back deeply so I'd try and know what went wrong. I always ended up ending it cuz things weren't going okay.
I wish I'd have an honest talk about how I contributed in the failures of my relationships.
What makes you think you actually contributed to the failure of those relationships? It only takes one person to destroy a relationship.
@@Kontroversial84
Am aware I have commitment issues but I also dated people who clearly weren't good for me.
My family and friends would tell me how naive and empathetic I am but I think am just a coward. Love, even the toxic kind, scares the shit out of me. It's sad but I can't explain it.
@@WordsAreYouyou attachment style seems like a relaxed avoidant. try looking into it. it may help you out.
@@AlejandraElisabet Definitely will! Thank you ❤️
u have such a pretty laugh/smile
nice message too!
Thank you 🥰
This woman just opened my eyes on so many levels.
One needs to learn how to hold THEMSELVES accountable first and be somewhat self aware...and know how to speak to someone w/o catcing a bad attitude and getting defensive when someone respectfully calls you out on something for YOUR own good...No Man, Nor Woman is responsible for the others bad behavior. You have to have the ability to check yourself..or at least not say anything until youve let it sit for a while. That way you process it more and reduce the risk of jumpin off the deep end and saying or doing something you'll regret later..Better contain that mess!
Jesus ❤❤❤ bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. My mirror, it is scary to look at myself and have someone speak to me about me.
💖⭐️💖
Healthy relationships expose you flaws and all and yet you know there’s nothing else, nothing better in these streets 💣 💣💣
There was so much in that laugh in the end ❤😂
This is what a good woman is about.
Hope you get yourself a king.
Women like this deserve the absolute best.
The rest of yall?
You can open your own door and carry your own shi*
True! Wishing ALL who want Healthy Healing Loving Relationships the Strength, Endurance, and Faith it takes to make them work. Put God First, Pray Often, Allow Your Spirit to Guide You. Infinite Love and Gratitude, Asè Namasté AMEN 🙏🏾💗
That "healthy" relationship doesnt go by without learning what a "toxic" relationship is. Yin and yang. If proper adults actually talked out their problems now and actually work things out, you can turn trash into treasure
Until you find out that "good" man is just as much flawed as you are. Noone is perfect.
Just exposed your flaws right there, still had to make it a “but what about him?!” 🤣
It is the light that exposes darkness
Ephesians
"For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light
9 (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth)
10 and find out what pleases the Lord.
11 Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
12 It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret.
13 But everything exposed by the light becomes visible-and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.
14 This is why it is said:
“Wake up, sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.”
🙏
This is fcuking true 🤔
I thought I m very self sufficient n less tolerant.
But the moment my gf came into my life , I realised, I was self sufficient because i was afraid to trust anybody n i wasn't less tolerant, i was just active on fighting mode but then i understand my own flaws. She take care of my house better than me so now i can relax on focus on my job perfectly
This is the only woman I've seen speak the truth about toxicity..
It exposes whether you are open to accountability or allergic to it.
Accountability is so important for any person to improve in life. No one is perfect, and so we must make mistakes to learn. The problem lies in denying that you ever made mistakes in the first place.
Relationship truth well spoken. 👍
Say it again ‼️🤞🏾🔐🙌🏾🙌🏾
Amazing video. Came at the perfect time. My RUclips algorithm has been top-notch lately.
That's SOOO True including platonic relationships ❤️♥️💕
I knew this was gonna be good reading the title, but I'm definitely dealing with this right now. Got interrogated about it a couple days ago thanks to my mother, spent the last hour or so thinking about trying therapy again, and then this pops up.. Like Lord, you can stop sending me all these signs. I get it 🤭😅
Wow this really resonates with me
This is why I feel some people stay picking the wrong people to be in relationships with. Because they know they have bad flaws, but they don't want to hold themselves accountable for it. If they stay in bad relationships, they can always be the good guy/victim in their relationships.
Im not doing it again. Don't want it, not having it!!!! Nobody wants an old man to take care of- all they want is a nurse and a purse. Ilove life on my own FINALLY nothing required of me.I adopted 3 abused children, had my own son, worked 2 jobs all my life, rescued over 100 dogs healed them, tehabilitated, taught manners and obedience then adopted them out to loving homes. Now I live for me. With whats left of my life. Just want to be left alone
😂😂😂 girl the ending took me completely out
So true. ❤ I'm living this now.
Amazing skin!!
omg i didn't realized how true this is. thank you so much for pointing this out ❤️
I agree totally. I am not an ideal woman for any man. Scared to work on myself cause there are too many issues
Crazy how you described a healthy relationship as a toxic one. Also im not fighting for anyone.
No I'm not single and yes she's happy.
PREACH! Your person will make you a better person in turn. It’s not their job, but that’s the influence they should hold. I didn’t realize that until I met my man. ❤
One of the most beautiful messages I’ve seen on RUclips. Unfortunately, people don’t keep good individuals around long, for the very reason that she stated.
So true, and I’ve never been more insightful about myself. When you find this and have to face it….you’re exactly where you need to be. The most liberating, humiliating, and eye-opening experience I’ve ever had to face and I love/adore him even more each time, we grow together.
I’m going through this right now. I had a nearly perfect man who made me realize just how many problems I have.
No lies told. Perfect features on this woman too.
This the realest thing I ever heard. And I absolutely needed to hear this
this just came up on my home page, veryyy true words and a good thing to know for people who think this signifies danger and toxicity. like some are not used to being vulnerable or allowing themselves to be flawed and seen by someone, so when this happens it can make you think it's the opposite of healthy and safe. v wise 🙏
I know tge Lord had me to see tthis. My person is coming and faith without works is dead, so imma work as the lord leads me Amen 😊 💛 🙏🏾 🙌🏾
Exactly people just don't want to take no goddamn accountability
That laugh at the end 🤣😂
I definitely agree that it exposes you. But I'm not sure if you should always face it. Meaning just because you're in a healthy relationship doesn't mean this is the ultimate relationship for you. I think at that point think to yourself is this the person I want in the end if not fold. I gotta go and work on those flaws while single.
So true! Im realizing Im selfish asf
Me and this creator actually follow each other she is so wise. But, this is sooo true
Whew chile!! If you didn't HIT IT ON THE HEAD, I don't know who did!! This is sooooo TRUE!!
I needed this, especially the last part
Truth hits hard. Short and sweet. I've definitely seen this to be true in my life.
Damn right, my woman holds me accountable and I do the same for her, we’re not perfect but we’re perfect for each other because we make up for the shortcomings of the other one
This is something that I went through in my relationship!
Thank you very much for talking about this, its been happening with me and my boyfriend, we're challenging each other to be better versions of ourselves. It is hard work but also beautiful. I want to be the person he deserves.
That's right Sister. All you did was tell the truth. 👍😊😎
And they say celibacy isnt a choice.
Yes, love it. Both people have to work on their flaws to make the relationship work. Everyone deserves someone who is genuinely all in with them, especially if they have a big heart ❤
Bruh this is like one of the truest statements I’ve ever heard
😊Ma'am... your bars got bars 🍸 🎯🎯🎯💯
That laugh at the end..
Amen! Thank u very much for this view.❤ woman u are amazing 👏 yes share the truth
Very well said.
Also, that laugh❤😂 contagious❤️❤️❤️
10000 %true it’s so hard to admit our flaws.😅
Crazy how I needed to hear this. It makes so much sense. I guess this is what I’ve been trying to make sense in my head. So this really helps with all that. :)
Fighting for anything is your first mistake.
Being in a healthy relationship is what ended up finally getting my flagged by my doctors for bpd I.
Would've never gone to the doctor, or considered my own mental health to seek treatment, had i not first been made to finally be able to look at myself without judgement.
Say that louder am dealing with my flaws
Very true. They ain't going nowhere and you can't go nowhere other than facing both of your realities together
It's the towel on the head for me. And this is absolute true!❤
Lol I just washed my locs
@@kylelashaydraper 😅☺️☺️
omg yesssss. im SO USED to fighting people! im triggerhappy and it has been definitely problematic.
This gives me anxiety 😅 I’ll fold but I’m a people pleaser. I’ve had people leave me so letting them see my flaws scares me cause a lot leave the moment they learn something about me and it doesn’t align with them. Pray for me 😓
I know this is more so about romance, but maaaaaaaaan is this true for friendship too.
0:58 yes! 👏🏾 and I’m willing to face those flaws head on when I find that right woman. I’m working on me now in the meantime ❤❤
I was a good bf the first two years I was a bad husband the first two years. But I thank God I / we have grown. Been together almost 10 years. Married for almost 8. ❤️ my wife. You’re speaking the truth.
OmG, this! is the reason why I feel so awful when I'm with a good guy... seeing my own flaws is almost unbearable (some kind of inferiority complex I guess) It's all good as long as I can act properly, but as soon as stressful situations show up: glitch in my brain and I just become a horrible person 😅... oh no!
I feel so called out and also incredibly comforted by this ❤
Damn I hate how much I needed to hear this