Extremely powerful exercise to stop fantasizing about someone ⚠️ (not for everyone)
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- Опубликовано: 30 июл 2024
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This made me cry for my lonely younger self. Those feelings of being alone and not chosen.
This is so me … never being chosen by anyone for 23 years. And for the first time I was chosen, I couldn’t embrace it. I sent people away. I’m now 26, a man chose me but I made him suffer. Now I’m trying to heal and to have him back. I know it’s a bad idea but I still want to give it a try…. I’m crazy
Same...🙌🏻
@@nouwehn5187i understand exactly what you were feeling lol. i was never chosen all my life as well and when recently, i did, i pushed them away because that wasn’t what i was used to. i couldn’t accept the change and i hurt people. i’m trying to heal now as well. you’re not crazy at all; although that’s what i always say to myself as well haha. we’re in this together!! we can do this!! best of luck!!
It's so similar to what is happening to me , glad I'm not alone @@nouwehn5187
I just detach!!! Disappear for months
This is strange... My subconscious already did that for me. One night I dreamt I was at my ex's funeral. She came from the afterlife for just one last moment together with me, where we had fun and cuddled, and then she disappeared. I woke up feeling absolutely devastated, before realising she was still alive, and that was a good thing, that I was grateful for all along. Next night I had a dream about a little boy, who was constantly running after me for attention, and I felt weird, but I did comfort him and tell him it's going to be okay. Just now I realised the little boy was me. And I pretty much got over this person in two nights, thanks to a nightmare.
That's great u get over
I swear youtube is reading my mind
😮😮yes now I realise my mistake
No. It’s reading your texts and listening to everything you talk about.
AI: It is invading Your privacy
Lol 😂😂 @@AS-pug
Yeah they kinda read everyone's mind. Their predictive AI shows me things I was only thinking about, pretty often.
Our imagination is powerful and can be used to help and heal like this. Always win in your imagination !
That is just rubbish what you say. Imagining is basically creating your reality and with imagination people get creative. Defining imagination as an issue is toxic af.
what😂@@JPcommunicates
I don't even have someone to fantasize with.
It's just an unbearable loneliness with no face.
That is ok, to feel lonely. There isn't anything wrong with it. You might go for a walk and talk to people. That can help you to feel less lonely.
@@JPcommunicates it's not a matter of right or wrong. It gets so tiring and sometimes even painful.
I do go for walks, though they don't really help.
Talking to someone? That won't do, I don't have anything to talk about. And noone to talk to.
@franacha I understand you, I've felt lonely for a while and it can be extremely hard...
One thing I do that really helps is to write. Even if you don't want to sometimes, if you make it a habit to write down your feelings, and to go a little deep as if you were talking to a friend, you might feel much better afterwards. I know it makes me feel less lonely, I feel like I have a friend in myself, I can also look back on what I wrote from time to time and see where I'm at right now, see if anything changed or didn't. It makes me feel less lonely and honestly better.
And you have to keep hope, you really do !! You might always find people who are good to you ❤
@@JPcommunicates It is not okay. It is like saying it is okay to die. Okay for you as you have less competitors.
@@franacha I know dear.. I am dealing with the exact same situation.. Just loneliness and trying to hold or hoard onto whatever is thrown my way.. but eventually nothing works... I have to be comfortable in my own company..
I thought you were gonna say imagine them on the toilet.
Bruh 😂☠️
This method honestly works 😂😅
😂😂😅
Me too!
Back when I was tik tok for like one month I looked up the profile of this guy I used to not be able to get over. I’d had a crush on him since high school and we hung out a lot just never actually dated even though I was obsessed. Back then he was this Lumineers woodsy outdoorsy skinny white boy that was so hipster and cool. He had one video on his tik tok. It was ten years later. He was dressed like a trailer park gangster and sitting on the toilet (I’m assuming) he just rips this long fart staring right into the camera the whole time. I’m like… wow yep that about does it the allure is gone. 😂 Why of all things?
This is called Somatic therapy. Really works. The problem now is what’s the point of relationships if we don’t need anything from anyone? Just shared experiences with no real connections?
It’s because it’s bunk. We’re social creatures, we need other people and we shouldn’t go through life isolated. Heck, there was an (unethical) experiment done in a European country where children died because they were touch-starved.
This form of therapy is fine… if you’re getting over a breakup or something. But the idea that you should be fine being mostly/completely separated from people or having connections is absurd. Maybe that’s not what Francesca is saying, but this sort of “going it solo” mentality has gotten around regardless.
@mrshrumuga09 definitely agree about rise of individualist philosophy in recent years. You're right
We have relationships with the almighty youtube algorithm and ai instead
For real though, this is more aimed at someone with issues where the obsession is problematic and they’re missing something developmentally, and this exercise is a chance to navigate that
I think the point is rather to be able to have those connections minus the dependence. That the person adds beauty to an already complete version of you rather than filling a void and by extension having the power to make you feel empty if they take it away
It worked ! So soothing ! Only problem is .... now Im obsessing over Francesca ....
Same here hahaha
Always have been…lol
Get a life
You're a fool (sorry for being rude)
Unless you have met her in person she is just a voice and pixels in your phone or computer, nothing more. 🤷🏽♂️
I was crying the whole process 😢
Same, I just finish crying, too 😭
Me too
Me too
me too. the tears just came rolling down out of nowhere!!
I watched this 5 min video over span of 30 mins. Pausing crying bawling blowing nose. Where were u girl!?!?!.!? Where were u for the past 15 years!?!?!.,?
I think with only 1 time use I solved like 90%of my problems. Grateful and thankful from my inner child ❤❤❤
I feel complete now at the second time when that person left it doesn't felt like am losing something
Everyone is always complete and it's naturally to miss others.
I guess this can work when the feelings are not so profound, but rather delusional.
This didn’t work for me. After I imagined them leaving the first time, I still felt a warmth because I knew that for a moment, I had those positive feelings reciprocated. Maybe it’s because I’ve loved and been loved and lost both before, but the thought of losing something good just makes me appreciate that good even if it’s in the past.
This made me cry like a baby! Just the thought of my adult self soothing the lonely child and taking care of her is sooo refreshing! I think if I keep visualizing it, it'll help me go through the hard breakups, ghosting, and harsh reality of being left! because there is me for me!
i feel you. everything is going to be okay
Wow! This meditation just fixed a deep rooted feeling that i‘ve been struggling with for years… my inner child was feeling extremely unprotected and vulnerable . I felt it as a strong pain in the chest, shoulders , head, skin all over.. so i held and caressed the child and gave it the love and protection it craved… lots of crying.. afterwards i just felt at peace, the presence or absence of the other person was unimportant. Amazing and sooo helpful . Thank you so much ! ❤
I knew this kind of thing already but I admire that you were able to tell it so comprehensively under 6 min!
I ended up doing this meditation about a work situation that is stressful, linking it to my past/childhood - WOW. I cried again and released/processed a lot! This meditation is seriously so good - I’m so grateful!! I do stop the meditation a lot to think/feel longer, give my brain time to process what she’s saying, which helps a lot. Good luck healing, everyone ❤
I feel loneliness. I suppose i need love, but it's boring to give myself love. It's better when someone else does it.
well nobody is responsible to make you feel loved or feel happy its on your own hands dear. just love yourself enough so u don't be dependent on anybody to make you feel loved.
Something is wrong with contemporary culture when we apparently are supposed to learn to not need anyone. All these pseudo-therapists speaking down to us very confidently and clearly, as if we are hard of hearing. Humans are social and creative people. We like to communicate, and anyone who has experienced love knows how that cant be replaced. Sure, you can seek out some other way to fill your life with meaning, but its not the same. And the longing for intimacy and belonging is real. Its not that we are just using people to fulfil individual emotional needs for selfish reasons. That is ridiculous. If people want to learn tricks to lie to themselves in order to move on quicker because real feelings are inconvenient and carry a sense of loss of control and pain they cant handle, sure they can do that. But real life and real loss hurts. The contrasts of different sides of experiences is why we can appreciate things.
I miss connection
I also ha s let go a little of the concept of self love. It IS okay to let yourself surround with people and some support. I genuinely think I’m healed enough now to let a romantic partner in and grow together.
I applaud the idea of self love. It’s important. To be aware that you are not getting it too much in the external world (things, food, people: perhaps confusing it with real love).
But stay aware of what is driving you. Do the healing, or great part of it, to make yourself ready to receive&give&live&celebrate Real Love.
I am so ready ☺️💖💖💗💞🥰
@@rosine749 I appreciate you.
🎯 Key points for quick navigation:
00:00 *⚠️ Imagine the person you're obsessing over giving you what you crave; notice the feelings it evokes in your body.*
01:10 *🌌 When imagining them gone, observe the void or pain they leave behind within yourself.*
02:19 *🧒 Comfort the inner child experiencing these sensations by imagining your adult self offering support and reassurance.*
03:54 *💖 Imagine giving your inner child the love and reassurance you seek from the person you're fixated on.*
04:53 *🔄 Observe how you feel when the person returns with the desired love or sensation, and notice any changes in intensity when they leave again.*
Made with HARPA AI
Thanks
Thanks
Grazie Francesca. I recently realized how important it was to love and protect my inner child. I started by watching pictures of myself as child and loving him as I was never loved before. Writing down on paper positive affirmations and celebrating the little things, not reacting anymore to the negativity others bring in my life, and looking also at myself in the mirror while doing so.
It's really impressive how my mood improved, and even if I'm always more alone from others and more lonely...I am closer to myself again and that's what matters.
Thanks for this video, dear Francesca, hugs from Italy 🇮🇹
Wow come hai fatto a imparare l’inglese così bene?
@@ASMR_Orangely studiando e praticandolo con estranei su internet per oltre 20 anni!
I remembered my 10-years-old self feeling abandoned by dad, knowing he’s cheating on mom. Then experiencing their divorce at thirteen, his marriage to another woman, the birth of their child, the intense jealousy I used to feel. Thanks, this did clear things up a bit.
OMG, you're amazing this is literally my first comment ever on any YT video.... You made this much easier and i feel relieved. Loads of love ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Girl, you are a genius, I'm so grateful for all the work you do here on RUclips ❤ It helps me so much
I’ve been through psychotherapy off and on for many many years. I’ve even taken short courses on CBT and NLP.
Never had anyone facilitated the process of healing the inner child , the way you just did.
As a side note , your accent makes me want to listen to your videos endlessly :)
The inner child isn't harmed nor need to heal. The only thing what you can experience through life is not knowing what you need and desire and how to ask for it. You can learn about all that by observing yourself or by journalling.
Thank you so much Francesca. Many of these things i knew in theory but you made me really feel them! Once you realize it was all about external validation and how you can be kinder and more loving to yourself and you don’t need persons and things for that anymore, all that was holding you hostage seems just silly 😄😊
I cannot express how amazing this video is. Of the thousands and thousands of videos I’ve seen this short tutorial stood out greatly. Fascinating concept.
Thank you so much!
I need Safety in my own body. To speak up for myself and not as people want me to.
It actually worked. I started crying at the end. Thank you so much fran❤
I just want to say thank you. You don't understand how much I needed this. Love you friend
Absolutely beautiful! THANK YOU SO MUCH for making this video. May you get everything good that this universe has to offer 🙏🏻
This is indeed powerful!!! Soothing, self-soothing, taking care of our inner child 😊
Wow just wow. My inner child is crying out at first and then its as though a fire is being set ablaze in my heart that consumes everything and simultaneously bringing it back to life. I needed this. ❤
It's been a looooong time since I last cried like that... It was so relieving, thank you!
Thank you. Lately I felt a deep fear of losing my mom, and losing support. I did not knew were it came from. But this video made me feel where this feeling came from. It was coming from my little younger me, when my mom dropped me off at daycare and I felt totally abandoned by her.
Now I feel warm and loved and supported by me, that worked super quick. Im suprised.
It feels so different right now. Thank you.
It's so beautiful. I saw that I'm worthy and everybody has a worth. I explained my inner child it that everybody, also animals has an diamond in its heart (symbol for worthiness) , whether he or she is poor or rich. Humans and animals are worthy of being treated good. But sometimes people forget this diamond and they become sad and they can't see the diamond in other peoples heart. They must remember this diamond so their hearts become bright and warm and they can share this warmth with others. This is called love. 💎👩👧
needed this!!!
Wow!
I am usually a very angry person. I could see the enormous pain underneath that I constantly avoid. I will return to this routinely. I need this.
Thank you.❤😊
This is an amazing powerful exercise! Say what you want, but I prayed for this kind of guidance right before opening RUclips tonight. Did the exercise (my inner child is 5…didn’t know that until this) and feel so much more calm now. Learning how to self-soothe is an important part of my healing journey so this video is now bookmarked and saved and shared! I’ll be watching it often. Thank you!
I don’t know how much I needed this, the algorithm is weird but sometimes wonderful.. thank you
Thank you so much. I cried, my inner child cried... This helped me realize a lot .
This will be a good daily exercice and reminder.
Wow! Very powerful! And has so much potential also with other areas of life or other feelings and patterns!
Thank you so much for posting this! So concise and profoundly effective! As a Psychologist myself, I am excited to also recommend this to my clients! ❤
Deep! Love your contents and your voice is so soothing. I'll try and will let you know about my improvement
This was unexpectedly extremely healing - thank you so much! I processed a lot and learned a lot too ❤
It works ! I will remind myself to do this exercise daily.
Wonderful advice and very interesting. Thanks
Not sure how it got recommended to me but thank you, it was what I needed
You are lovely Francesca, thank you so much!
This might be one of the best psychological exercises online. Thank you.
That's so comforting. Thanks for this ❤
Thanks for being there, Francesca, like a real friend. ❤. Now they know that I’m here for you. lol.
Hmmm this was insanely powerful! ❤ I almost didn’t listen to it expecting it to be cliche, but it wasn’t cliche at all and I’m so glad I watched.
thank you so much!! this is such a holistic and mindful way of dealing with obsessions, I appreciate your work
This happened in real time for me & i felt so secure that when they left, i almost couldn't remember that lonesome feeling.
Certain tantric practices advise imagining the uncomfortable feeling as light & staying in that light to heal completely.
It was absolutely beautiful, it helped me understand me better, thank you so so much 💗🤧.
Reassurance, peace.
It feels so much better at the end. Thank you for putting efforts for us.❤
Next Level stuff.
Thank you!
This was amazing. ❤🎉 I feel like I don't need external validation anymore. Thank you so much, Francesca ❤
OMG 😳 I can't even put it into words ...
Thank you....❤
I very much so love this video. It’s excellent and very well done.
I do also think however that we are forgetting more and more that we NEED other people. It feels so good to truly be loved by someone else and while this video does a great job….it is merely a bandaid solution.
What I actually took from this is that those things I’m longing for is my heart telling me what I need. I think we should advocate more for people to “be weird” and reach out and try and find human connection.
I’m not saying anyone is required to love us. If they don’t love you then move on. But we should try and find someone who will love us.
Thank you so much dearest. I just watched this video, almost cried, felt like a healing session, subscribed and loving you more now. Thank you so much please make more on this❤❤❤❤❤
This is soooo goooood, thank you im going to add it to my practice when needed ❤🎉
Yes yes. Stop giving. Take time to really explore and find out who really the other person is
Wow, that work, thanks you Francesca
I used to avoid someone attractive and helpful because of this
I would continue to do this exercise to see if it would work in the long term.
That was So powerful... it took quite some time to be able to release it - rising up through the chakras... I think there's more to release, but the largest part has released. Thank you so much ❤
Thank you so much Francesca for this one😌❤️
I love you 😘
Wow! I really needed this realization about what aches my heart from childhood. Nothing to do with a fantasy but figurine out what that void is. I’m shocked!
Thank you for this. I couldn’t imagine something that takes so little time and effort to make such difference ❤
Thank you for this. This exercise absolutely wrecked me in the beginning and brought up memories from long ago. I thought I was over them but clearly not 😅 The calmness is unexpected but very welcomed. Thank you again!
I cried too... Really it's working. Thank you tons. Been going through this for a while but now it makes wonders
Okay! You meant it when you said "not for everyone" now I'm crying 😭
Omg, this is incredible! Thank u for this!
Wow !🔥🔥This is So Powerful for me snd and it hit the spot 👌 game changing awareness DEEPLY THANKFUL to you !!❤❤😊
This was actually so good...Thank you. ❤
Thank you so much for this.
This was such a blessing to me. I knew this feeling of loneliness was connected to my childhood but didn't really know how to address it and this exercise helped it to make it more tangible. Thank you so much! God bless 💜
Surprisingly useful excessive! Thank you for that ✨
The timing of this video being made and showing up in my feed is impeccable. Might as well save it, because it feels like quite a powerful piece of advice.
P. S. Not on the topic, but Francesca is very pretty.
This is awesome. Ive realized how i was missing connection with my father for so many decades.. the obsession with that person almost stopped…
Thank you, Francesca, thanks a lot.
A concept many are may be already aware about, but well executed by you! Thank you for this lovely exercise.
A piece of advise to consider:
For me it would be nice if you let the pauses in your video, to go with our attention inside, try to grasp, focus on the sensations, imagining/re-member the feeling this person gives you and so on.
Now I paused the video myself. That’s of course an option. But the disadvantage is that you are ‘out’ of the focus by going to the screen again and pause.
Thank you for your consideration.
Pls make sure (in that scenario) that the viewer feels safe in your ‘absense’. That he/she is sure you’re coming back. Give him/her guidance.
And then of course they still can pause longer, if necessary or wanted. (And that’s different - hard to explain).
Thank you! 🌸
This is very helpful, thank you ❤
Wow this is extremely powerful 💫Thank you Francesca 💜🕉
This literally made me cry!
Lady this healed me in sometime many aspects! Thankyou from the bottom of my heart ❤️
Feels soo great! Had always been suffering from guilt, feel so relieved n free now!
Thankyou soo much! 😘😘😘
Stay blessed 👼
Really interesting and helpful video, thanks so much!!!❤
Absolutely phenomenal process !! ❤ Thank You so MUCH ! And more pls :)) God Bless
this was INSANE. thank you.
This is so wise and true. 😊 We all need to heal our inner child-wounds.
We don't. People just need to understand what they have missed out in order to be able to understand their person and in order to nurture yourself and find people who accept you as you are.
Three year old me is heartbroken. It felt so good to nurture her. Thank you for this amazing video. 😊
Thank you. So helpful ❤
Thank you! That was amazing 🙏
Wow this is a very powerful formula to do deep inner work. Thankyou😊
Very powerful... Thanks🙂
this was really well explained and guided in only 5 mins🙏🌼☀️
this is life saving content ❤❤❤
Love this ❤ thank you for sharing
Great technique, thanks a lot!!!
Truly Beautiful! It works!
It was so special. I've wanted presence. At 5 I felt left behind by friends and cousins, I had to be alone and I thought that happened because I was "underappreciable". Now I had the chance to appreciate the expressions, talents and my child self. At the end, friends and later boyfriends decided to not be part of the crowd (who was cheering for me and feeling good) and... I've accepted it. I thought: "We're just not in the same path". I accept. They can leave and it's totally ok. Thank you so much for guiding us through such a powerful change of perspective. 🙏🧡
thank you so much for this video made me feel a lot better i cried and now i feel much lighter