How to STOP OBSESSING over someone

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  • Опубликовано: 29 сен 2024
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Комментарии • 585

  • @Rachel.Nicole
    @Rachel.Nicole 5 месяцев назад +2216

    And don’t forget ladies …. He’s literally just a guy. YOU and your ideas of him made him special. Imagine your confidence if you put that energy into yourself instead. You would not have the time to even think about the guy anymore. If you are not his dream girl, he is simply just wasting your time

    • @nehabiswas1181
      @nehabiswas1181 5 месяцев назад +28

      Needed it

    • @YanaWanderlust.
      @YanaWanderlust. 5 месяцев назад +21

      Thanks for this comment needed this one as well.

    • @jinhub2175
      @jinhub2175 5 месяцев назад +4

      This is why I'm depressed cause I see every girl mentioning a guy but here I am obsessed with a girl while being a girl myself and I just feel so odd & lonely it's like I'm alone in this. Idk why I fell for this girl but it's making me depressed cause most girls are straight I think?

    • @selenarumble7435
      @selenarumble7435 5 месяцев назад +1

      Thanks!

    • @keylo2473
      @keylo2473 5 месяцев назад +1

      Agree❤

  • @ellehough2746
    @ellehough2746 5 месяцев назад +376

    "Learn to be bored with people who ghost you" I love this!!!! Thank you dearest Margarita!

  • @gretajacobson1523
    @gretajacobson1523 Месяц назад +24

    it’s so embarrassing to be dumped by someone everyone told me wasn’t good enough for me 😭

  • @chyuupipi
    @chyuupipi 2 месяца назад +19

    it's me binge watching these kind of videos after he hasnt chatted to me in like 2 days then suddenly forgetting everything i watched after i get a message from him 😫

  • @radia1609
    @radia1609 5 месяцев назад +83

    The timing babyyyy the timingg

  • @hitankshabudhiraja6816
    @hitankshabudhiraja6816 5 месяцев назад +48

    THE DIVINE TIMING

  • @subhalaxmidas608
    @subhalaxmidas608 5 месяцев назад +29

    For the love of god I can not tell you how much I needed this video right now like nowww. Never thought I will manifest it so quick.

  • @trulybrandise9600
    @trulybrandise9600 5 месяцев назад +16

    I do feel like I’m missing out on the love of my life that will give me what I deserve! And yes.. learn to be bored with ppl!! Most interesting advice that I heard today!!❤

  • @Tionaintown876
    @Tionaintown876 5 месяцев назад +16

    I need this freaking video right now

  • @theliterarytarot
    @theliterarytarot 5 месяцев назад +5

    Beautiful, insightful message. It took me decades a a lot of hard experiences to recognize this.

  • @NosibusisoBianca
    @NosibusisoBianca 5 месяцев назад +2

    Thank you Margarita it took me a good two years to detach and if it wasn’t for your videos I guess I’d still be stuck on him

  • @Juuung9
    @Juuung9 5 месяцев назад +2

    It might sounds weird, But it was exactly perfect timing for me this advices. Thank you for great videos 💛

  • @shanimaker6281
    @shanimaker6281 5 месяцев назад +1

    I feel so silly ruminating about this guy I needed this video. It is truly perfect timing for me. I want to move on and feel comfortable in my own skin without anyone’s validation. Thank you so much nice video .❤

  • @hamburgerdeern7338
    @hamburgerdeern7338 5 месяцев назад +1

    I additionally recommend looking into the concept of "limerence"

  • @kileymackenzie
    @kileymackenzie 4 месяца назад +1

    I’m so glad I discovered you you’re so smart

  • @myrahtariqkhan
    @myrahtariqkhan 5 месяцев назад +1

    I faced a similar kinda situation yesterday in a gathering and you helped me to realize what the problem was . ❤

  • @nataliesharpe6674
    @nataliesharpe6674 Месяц назад

    Thank you. I needed this this morning ❤

  • @daryaqadernejad1231
    @daryaqadernejad1231 5 месяцев назад +2

    Margarita thank you
    You talked to my soul❤

  • @sristisubedi4067
    @sristisubedi4067 5 месяцев назад

    I was ghosted for the first time ever and though it is confusing, bit hurtful and yes, brings out the anxiety.. i am pleased to report that I can see that it is their inability to see the gem of a person i am. I know what I bring to the table and I didn’t take it personally. 🎉🎉🎉 thank you Margarita..❤

  • @fuzzyferretlady
    @fuzzyferretlady 4 месяца назад

    This video... idk girl, your delivery and message really tickled the brain stem for me. Thank you.

  • @cxxtqt
    @cxxtqt 5 месяцев назад +1

    i watched a past video of yours and i loved it subscribed almost instantly after the video was over. just saw this, and i have a problem with obsessing and losing my mind! i love how calm you talk about things and how point blank period you are about things! sometimes things being told more blunt helps, and i just love these videos!

  • @cherrylane79
    @cherrylane79 3 месяца назад +1

    I'm terrified of being hated/disliked, abandoned, ghosted... Thanks to my parents.

  • @raquellennan1760
    @raquellennan1760 5 месяцев назад

    Great advice. I moved on did all these things but it’s been hard he’s visiting my dreams. Keeps popping up in my life, I have to work harder and study.

  • @coach_amy
    @coach_amy 5 месяцев назад +4

    I think my anxious attachment style has been a negative because of my loving avoidant people. And those are the ones I obsessed about. My anxious attachment style will be an asset with someone who I actually connect with and who is my ally (vice versa). I do wonder if a "secure" attachment style person will actually seem avoidant to me and I would lose interest quickly.

  • @Drriddhi_
    @Drriddhi_ 4 месяца назад

    Hii riddhi here… worked very hard in my doctorate journey still find the other time stuck in relationships… you made lot of sense ❤🎉

  • @mandy5940
    @mandy5940 18 дней назад

    Thank you I needed this 😊

  • @annettemoorshead7019
    @annettemoorshead7019 5 месяцев назад +1

    This was so good, needed, and timely for putting this video out today! 😊❤

  • @GodHelpMe369
    @GodHelpMe369 3 месяца назад +2

    The most exhausting thing in a relationship is someone who avoids conflict at all costs.
    I'm exhausted, my soul is raped, and I want to die.

  • @rebeccaly
    @rebeccaly 5 месяцев назад

    Thank you Margarita. You always give me so much life back whenever I finish watching your videos ❤ thank you for always slapping me back into reality but in a loving way

  • @magdalenam9222
    @magdalenam9222 2 месяца назад

    Najlepsza rada ,, zająć się sobą 🤷‍♀️🤲❤️🍀

  • @bec472
    @bec472 5 месяцев назад +1

    What perfect timing, thank you lady!

  • @adzmisa2385
    @adzmisa2385 5 месяцев назад +2

    Badly need this vid right now

  • @tianahurt9817
    @tianahurt9817 5 месяцев назад

    Wow. This came exactly when I needed it. Almost like the stars aligned for me to go through this obsession just to come out the other end with the help of your video. Out of all margaritas videos this hit home the most! Thank you margarita!💓

  • @SemaKalkan-ym9lg
    @SemaKalkan-ym9lg 4 месяца назад

    I’ve just found the big sister I needed ♥️

  • @user-yi7td2sq9b
    @user-yi7td2sq9b 3 месяца назад

    I have this on again off again relationship with a woman. We break up and she usually comes back. She's not been honest with me, lies and sees other guys when she comes back to me. I always tell myself "I won't mess it up this time" and I do everything I can to keep her around. Probably too much. This most recent time, I tried backing off a little, but maintaining interest. It worked for a while, but she always switches up on me. I'm exhausted, but I still love her and I feel like she loves me. It makes me feel like I'm a bad person and I'm doing something wrong

  • @LeahSterling-zg3is
    @LeahSterling-zg3is 2 месяца назад

    I’m obsessed with you

  • @Canwegetawhoohoo
    @Canwegetawhoohoo 5 месяцев назад

    When you just want him to show up like you would for yourself.😢 i'm in my 30s , people popping baby's out.. i just had my rejection for my 4th date. The guy was kind enough to let me know he was getting back with his ex, he was very good verbally. I never met a guy like that so i put him on this pedastal. I didn't even know him that well but just the illusion of him, a well put together guy, picking me... taking me out... i got my hopes up. Trying my best not to take this personally but it hits my core. Another guy picking someone over me. ( sounds almost narcistic, i know) i just need to value myself. This video truly hit my core. But like you said: so easy said : just love yourself,work on this anxious attachment .. how? I feel lost.

    • @K1111A
      @K1111A 5 месяцев назад +1

      As a woman who has been in a sad and lonely marriage for almost 30 years, please know that you are still young enough to meet your person and have a wonderful relationship. And so am I. It’s never too late💕

  • @Renee_N
    @Renee_N 5 месяцев назад +1

    I kept getting told I was suffocating them..but I never asked where they were going, where the money was spent. What time he got home. Who he was with..if he was going out I did my best to be cool girl and not show any emotion. But this comment kept coming up. I'd ask for examples how I was doing this..but none provided. I will admit i had 0 boundaries then ...he did whatever he wanted whenever yet still i was told i was suffocating him. So was I still being anxiously attached or was I being gaslit. Hes long gone but I have never been able to figure this out and really want to improve myself.

  • @Alignmented1
    @Alignmented1 18 дней назад

    If "energy flows where attention goes" haven't obsessive thoughts become obsessive just with our constant focus, attention or repetition?.. Become self loving and deeply caring. ❤✨ Thank u for the Skill share tip & link 🙏

  • @ZeeJaySmalls
    @ZeeJaySmalls 5 месяцев назад

    The only person I'm obsessed with right now is you my dear Margarita ♥️♥️🙌

  • @deepamehta1110
    @deepamehta1110 5 месяцев назад

    “There’s only one thing for it - and that is to listen to this video.” 😂❤

  • @anuja2885
    @anuja2885 5 месяцев назад +1

    You mentioned 2 categories at the beginning of the video - i belong to the third lol
    I've been crushing hard over my dance partner in my class (dance class, im 27) ever since the day we were paired together. He was very sweet, polite and kind and had just returned from a game of football. Calm and athletic? I was floored! I think I mistook his basic niceness for something else and I've been building castles in the air! We have a ton of mutual friends so I was waiting for him to either whatsapp me or send me an IG friend request and he never did. Out of desperation, I randomly texted him one day to ask abt something very silly. Whats worse is I did it again! Not only am I afraid I ruined it by fully exposing myself but I'm so disappointed in myself for forgetting abt my femininity completely. I was OBSESSED with him and was 24x7 thinking abt him and ways to make him talk to me. The thing is he's not even a bad guy. He could be taken or maybe he's just not interested and thats TOTALLY fine but I must look like such a despo to him
    I hate it! Our dance session ends this weekend and I hope its the last i see of him bc im so embarrassed and im gonna start working on myself and assess why I acted so badly in this situation. Majorly relying on your videos!

    • @YanaWanderlust.
      @YanaWanderlust. 5 месяцев назад +1

      You will overcome it. I believe so. I feel for you my dear❤ I am 37, but was literally obsessed and crushed into one man since Jan till Mar... now recovering and I also was texting and messaging him and did also embarrassing stuff. But let's stop it here🎉

    • @K1111A
      @K1111A 5 месяцев назад

      Listen to her last video on black cat/golden retriever, it will help you SO much ❤

  • @jeanettespicer9225
    @jeanettespicer9225 5 месяцев назад +1

    love all of this so much! only comment is considering making the language a bit more general/open and perhaps not to heteronormative!

  • @SASA-bq4ot
    @SASA-bq4ot 4 месяца назад

    I need a friend like that.

  • @SaudatAliyu-fw6ox
    @SaudatAliyu-fw6ox 5 месяцев назад

    Thanks queen truly appreciate it👍

  • @marymaria958
    @marymaria958 5 месяцев назад

    This video is a game changer

  • @modernseason
    @modernseason Месяц назад

    Damn, I wanna laugh. I’ve been asking to god to remove my stress about this and now I am watching this I feel like I’m top of the world. It’s like she helps me clean my mind and put my sanity again in place!

  • @hellothereinternet
    @hellothereinternet 3 месяца назад

    I loveeeee your content so much

  • @chloe200000
    @chloe200000 5 месяцев назад

    what about feeling bored in our own life, or just having some intellectual work to do and thus procrastinating it and instead we just go daydreaming/obsessing over some guy? as a coping mechanism or to just avoid the "pain"

  • @heenagujral244
    @heenagujral244 5 месяцев назад

    Oh wow perfect timing

  • @anischuyler371
    @anischuyler371 2 месяца назад +1

    Hmmm. Becoming obsessed with self without being a narcissist😂😮

  • @Veende_
    @Veende_ 4 месяца назад

    You are the best!

  • @kulsumaarzoo4694
    @kulsumaarzoo4694 5 месяцев назад

    I am at a point where he has started taking me granted and he also said we both are equal in this relationship, doesn't treat me like i deserve,the other day,he didn't attend the call because he was watching a video on his phone and that was a reality check of leaving him and his priorities BUT I am not ablr to let go of him. I know i am sabotaging myself but I am not able to block and leave,i am always ruminating over him. I am also scared of going through the same with the next person that i am letting him to treat me like a doormat.

  • @blenjohn7614
    @blenjohn7614 5 месяцев назад

    i love sooo much.. you have helped me so much

  • @annipounds3031
    @annipounds3031 3 месяца назад

    But what if I'm bored with my husband. I can't leave. Trying to focus on myself. A lonely marriage is so sad.

  • @alaskayoung584
    @alaskayoung584 4 месяца назад

    LOVE YOU.

  • @beluasmr
    @beluasmr 4 месяца назад

    Thank you dear

  • @anaingles327
    @anaingles327 3 месяца назад

    Marge help us to learn to get bored and repelled by these men who r not for us

  • @rebeccarao8569
    @rebeccarao8569 5 месяцев назад

    Thanks!

  • @lynnewogan5591
    @lynnewogan5591 5 месяцев назад

    Love ❤️ your posts ❤

  • @NostalgiaStarfish
    @NostalgiaStarfish 5 месяцев назад

    What about people who jump relationship to relationship and don’t let themselves heal queen

  • @AnaiTarot
    @AnaiTarot 5 месяцев назад

    It's the time I invested but also he owes me money. I hate the man & I'm obsessed with hating him now

  • @sumaiyamustafa3930
    @sumaiyamustafa3930 5 месяцев назад +1

    why the cocacola !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • @outsider.03
    @outsider.03 5 месяцев назад

    Oh God you uploaded this just when I needed it the most! 🥺
    I'm working hard to be securely attached and I'm making a lot of progress, but the most difficult part is understanding what is healthy and normal and what isn't... could you do a video on that? 😊
    Thanks for your videos and help 🌷

  • @sundarapabian4751
    @sundarapabian4751 5 месяцев назад

    Thank you ❤️❤️

  • @matterlenbach896
    @matterlenbach896 3 месяца назад

    2 blues .blonde .stop obsessing over coke eats paint , Grease, rust , your gut.thank u

  • @univerSIV
    @univerSIV 4 месяца назад

    Love your content thsbk ylu so much, but did u take hormones at one point in time?

  • @Michele-ti1qe
    @Michele-ti1qe 5 месяцев назад +1

    Camp 2 here

  • @sherrygilar4859
    @sherrygilar4859 3 месяца назад

    so beautiful ❤

  • @vivianschwoeppe259
    @vivianschwoeppe259 5 месяцев назад

    Thank you for this video!! ❤ But I do wonder isn't a bit of infatuation not also normal and healthy when you fall in love with somebody? 😅😂

  • @donnarakitzis2719
    @donnarakitzis2719 3 месяца назад

    Powerful

  • @CharmedCashmere
    @CharmedCashmere 25 дней назад

    No bc why am I back 2 months later after the black cat energy did it’s thing; or so i thought ..

  • @ceciliaurquhart9944
    @ceciliaurquhart9944 5 дней назад

    How can I zoom call you personally and pay your Time

  • @Kelsey-np1mx
    @Kelsey-np1mx 5 месяцев назад

    babe I love you lol thank youuuuuuu

  • @iladamayai5094
    @iladamayai5094 Месяц назад +1

    🥲 I hate this about me . I feel too much

  • @lykaapurillo7116
    @lykaapurillo7116 5 месяцев назад

    Ummm hello??? I’m living for these consistent uploads🫶🏼

  • @katerinaa9344
    @katerinaa9344 5 месяцев назад +592

    That part about "obsessing over loser who does not even want you" ... had to rewatch several times as it hits.🙈

    • @lalhlimpuii127
      @lalhlimpuii127 4 месяца назад +5

      It really hits 😂

    • @ninabeauty3099
      @ninabeauty3099 2 месяца назад

      That part hit me hard

    • @alexanderkane3960
      @alexanderkane3960 6 дней назад

      Did you know that calling a guy a loser which by the way is just your opinion of what he did to you, is just the same as a guy calling a girl who has cheated on him a cunt? Oh but when guys call girls cunts, that’s like saying Gods name in vain which everyone does! Women aren’t more special than God! What’s good for the goose is good for the gander!

  • @andreakatyy
    @andreakatyy 5 месяцев назад

    Thank you as always needed this

  • @ZhanePAN
    @ZhanePAN 4 месяца назад +273

    I have emotional attachment issues. When I crush on someone, it creates obsession and I start analyzing what I can do to gain their validation. I was never aware of it until my late twenties. But I’m glad that I can start to shift my mindset now. Being obsessed with someone is truly exhausting….

    • @lucasdesouza9674
      @lucasdesouza9674 4 месяца назад +19

      I feel you. It's an awful feeling state, exhausting is a best definition

    • @ji-ah3186
      @ji-ah3186 4 месяца назад +11

      Hi! It's called limerence! It's worth looking up

    • @TiffanyJ89
      @TiffanyJ89 4 месяца назад +2

      Yes, I recently went through this

    • @Hello_Grace
      @Hello_Grace 4 месяца назад +5

      I’m going through it. I had to write everything wrong with him. Argh 😖 it just makes me so angry for becoming attached

    • @lucasdesouza9674
      @lucasdesouza9674 3 месяца назад +4

      @@Hello_Grace not easy but takes work. Deprogram the obsession

  • @marian4472
    @marian4472 5 месяцев назад +761

    This popped up at the most perfect time... What in the manifestation 😳

    • @Ahtohallan.
      @Ahtohallan. 5 месяцев назад +16

      TRUEE SAMEE

    • @SheSoForeign
      @SheSoForeign 5 месяцев назад +11

      She got our backs girlies :’)

    • @akeishaharris
      @akeishaharris 5 месяцев назад +6

      For me too 🤦🏽‍♀️

    • @Lindayxx
      @Lindayxx 5 месяцев назад +5

      RIGHT???

    • @marian4472
      @marian4472 5 месяцев назад +5

      @@Vivian-oq5wz Right?? I feel personally attacked! 😂

  • @OO-ct4hq
    @OO-ct4hq 5 месяцев назад +565

    Girl you've been posting a lot these days and the only person I'm obsessed with is YOU

  • @maisyax
    @maisyax 5 месяцев назад +246

    “stop obsessing about a loser who doesn’t even want you” omg you’re right tho… going through a break up rn and this video could not have been more perfect. thank you x

    • @cyn2445
      @cyn2445 23 дня назад +1

      Omg...take away your attention and it will take away the power that he has. I'm repeating this to myself a hundred times a day!!!! Best advice ever!!!! Thank you!!

  • @MandyJRoss
    @MandyJRoss 5 месяцев назад +198

    Focus on you and the focus becomes you.❤

  • @bartholetbayana9198
    @bartholetbayana9198 3 месяца назад +453

    Excellent video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.

    • @paulinebricks3441
      @paulinebricks3441 3 месяца назад +1

      its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.

    • @bartholetbayana9198
      @bartholetbayana9198 3 месяца назад +1

      Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her/him?

    • @paulinebricks3441
      @paulinebricks3441 3 месяца назад +2

      Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex

    • @bartholetbayana9198
      @bartholetbayana9198 3 месяца назад +1

      Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

    • @leonie1897
      @leonie1897 3 месяца назад +12

      I know it hurts. Remind yourself that its only been a month. Give yourself time to accept that it is over. Making someone love you again through witchcraft or whatever, if that even exists, is cruel and egoistic. Its not meant to be and the hurt might feel unbearable but its not. You will get through it and you‘ll realize eventually thats there‘s been a reason. Maybe think about getting help from a therapist rather than a spiritual counselor that says she can get you a loved one back.

  • @zoescah
    @zoescah 5 месяцев назад +119

    Recently broke up with my bf of almost 4 years, met him at 21 and now I’m 25 and I had a really hard time letting go because I invested sooo much energy and time. I was worried I had given him my best years but I have an intuitive feeling that my best years are just starting ❤

    • @fleetingthoughts4766
      @fleetingthoughts4766 5 месяцев назад +12

      Omg 25 is extremely young! 25 is for trying, failing, exploring ☺️ It’s really gonna be ok!

    • @matriciamoses
      @matriciamoses 5 месяцев назад +4

      You still young yes, you will THANK GOD later 🤝👌💯

    • @zoescah
      @zoescah 5 месяцев назад +1

      @@fleetingthoughts4766 yessss you’re right. Still young yet I feel so old LOL

    • @zoescah
      @zoescah 5 месяцев назад

      @@matriciamoses yes, I will! 🫶🏻🙏🏻 he has a plan ❤️

    • @ohdear2275
      @ohdear2275 5 месяцев назад +6

      You are SO young.
      Your best years are ahead of you.

  • @mariabanholzer7942
    @mariabanholzer7942 5 месяцев назад +194

    Yes, i gave him my feminine energy, tenderness, love.... , I need to be loved, not an option. Much love from South of France

  • @EnricaMendunideRossi
    @EnricaMendunideRossi 5 месяцев назад +95

    "He's not Beyoncé"...love it! 🙂

  • @toyinviola
    @toyinviola 5 месяцев назад +87

    The subject of your videos are always so timely!! it’s like you know exactly what we need to hear 😅

  • @kristenthompson3999
    @kristenthompson3999 5 месяцев назад +39

    GIRL I genuinely have never commented on a RUclips video in all my 27 years of living but your videos having fucking SAVED me! The way you articulate these points seep right into my soul and make so much sense. The concept of “self love” and “independence” have always sounded nice in theory, but your videos provide step by step actions to make those ideas actually achievable. After watching your videos I feel so confident in myself and motivated to show up for me. Your content is so needed and appreciated, you’ve genuinely changed my life for the better during a difficult period of growth - thank you thank you !!!! PS can’t wait for your book!!

  • @inspired11
    @inspired11 5 месяцев назад +62

    😅 this video really captures my life. I was obsessed with a guy and he would keep leaving me and coming back and I was stuck in horrible cycle of waiting. This time when he came back, I had done enough work on myself to finally have the strength to push him away and feel in control. I've started meeting other men and have strengthened my body, my business and no longer feel the need for the external co-regulation, I used to. Really hope all the women who are going through this become more aware and work towards healthier relationships with themselves first and then take on a partner. Much love to all ❤

  • @caeciliaivana8450
    @caeciliaivana8450 5 месяцев назад +110

    ‘He farts or sneezes affects your emotions’ got me 😂💀 I LOVE YOUR CONTENT ❤

  • @Saar114
    @Saar114 5 месяцев назад +119

    Typical timing. I need this...obsessing for another avoidant guy

    • @sarmi0021
      @sarmi0021 5 месяцев назад +8

      It's AI noticing our algorithm 🌚 they know it all

    • @SchoolofStuffThatMatters
      @SchoolofStuffThatMatters 5 месяцев назад +13

      @@sarmi0021I need an AI man then that can anticipate and meet my needs as well as my online content 😂

    • @YanaWanderlust.
      @YanaWanderlust. 5 месяцев назад

      Same here

    • @Saar114
      @Saar114 5 месяцев назад +3

      He says he absolutely likes me as a person and he says he finds me super attractive but because i live too far away he doesn't want a actual relationship with me. Only sporadicly meeting up to have sex. I can't seem to find someone who is actually into me.

    • @user-ek7yc9fh7y
      @user-ek7yc9fh7y 4 месяца назад

      Yes, so many just want sex and no relationship

  • @sarahmiller2413
    @sarahmiller2413 4 месяца назад +32

    Girl, I'm gonna watch this video every day until it's over 😂

  • @hdshjs
    @hdshjs 2 месяца назад +8

    One small disclaimer. Don't learn something only to impress a guy. Learn what you are truly interested in. If it happens to impress him - good. If not - no problem, because you do it for yourself. And never go into the impressing energy. That's golden retriever's energy, not black cat's.

  • @lifewithyana2924
    @lifewithyana2924 4 месяца назад +23

    I'm breaking down in tears as I type this. This hit home. I don't know why I always try to stay in control of things and outcomes. I worry and stress more than the person who isn't there anymore itself. It's come to the point where I have to heal this because it's getting way too loud and burdensome. I hate feeling like someone else dictates how I feel internally. It makes me feel safe that I am not alone. At first I could ignore it, but I'm realizing how disgusting it feels to keep this pattern going. I do not wanna live like this anymore.

  • @GoddessLora
    @GoddessLora 5 месяцев назад +72

    18:08 "Because you are lovable... you are." Didn't know these words, could have such an impact on me.❤

    • @xw6475
      @xw6475 Месяц назад

      ❤❤✌

  • @saradf
    @saradf 5 месяцев назад +21

    These games are so repelling to me and it took me a long time healing my fearful disorganised attachment style BUT the last guy fooled me into believing he’s secure, i felt so loved and safe until he ghosted me. It triggered me and now I’m back into this limbo of unhealthy pattern. I broke it off by distancing myself, setting boundaries and going no contact. He’s out. Unfortunately !

    • @elliea8868
      @elliea8868 5 месяцев назад +4

      That's what happened to mine too. Super consistent. Thought he was secure. Then blindsides me with breakup blocks never looks back... i think he is dismissive avoidant now - surely a secure attachment person wouldn't leave you with no closure?

  • @elen6990
    @elen6990 4 месяца назад +30

    New phase : Obsession with myself. Yes ✨

  • @priyankap250
    @priyankap250 5 месяцев назад +38

    This is gold.

  • @sasb3675
    @sasb3675 5 месяцев назад +12

    I ruined it with a secure healthy man who really liked me and then I became an anxious mess and he broke it off (dated 2 months) saying he didn’t develop feelings
    It was going so so so well when I was relaxed, confident and being myself, and then I started ‘engulfing him’
    I broke my own heart

    • @K1111A
      @K1111A 5 месяцев назад +1

      I hear you, me too. Have you watched her video on black cat golden retriever? You must ❤

    • @sasb3675
      @sasb3675 5 месяцев назад +2

      @@K1111A yeah I have, and that’s how it was initially, I was 100% the black cat and he the retriever and then anxiety flipped the table

    • @K1111A
      @K1111A 5 месяцев назад

      @@sasb3675same for me, exactly

    • @thugga.thugga
      @thugga.thugga 4 месяца назад +1

      omg did i write this?? i became anxious when he needed more time to himself, which made him feel so guilty for not being able to give me what i needed. when in reality, i need more than i could realistically ever get. he was doing everything he could considering his circumstances and i ruined it. in my defense he said he liked clingy :(

    • @Hypertoniclemon
      @Hypertoniclemon 21 день назад

      This is literally me right now! Exactly same time frame too. Thank you for sharing. It gives me some comfort. I hope you are in a much better place now!!