The second I lost my attachment (control and ego) to him I was in the driver's seat. I am the main character. Never make a man the main character of your life. ❤
@@iam7688you can only detach when you start putting yourself first, which means every step you take needs to be align with your needs and desires. It might sound selfish but it’s the only way. It doesn’t matter how much you love a person always respect yourself to the point that you will never put yourself in a position that you might end up feeling: humiliated, undesired, unwanted, unloved, disrespected, forced etc.
To simplify, black cat means live your own life with purpose, and let other people live theirs. If a man wants to be in your life, you will know that through his actions. No need to be an eager, excited for attention golden retriever.
Yeah you are so right...i've been talk with someone recently. I met this guy online, we had so many common and i think i like him, he also said that he really2 like me.But i need to see his action so i hold my self try to be black cat energy and now we not talk for a week 😂.But he like see my IG story...So i think i need to focus on my life
@@powerrangers6228lol. Many Guys have liked me all the time. They just can’t really get me and keep me. :) Men can like you. But that doesn’t mean that they love and value your presence in their lives. I learned to not get excited about them giving me attention. and actually see if they are doing anything for me to want to stay around them and keep them in the back of my mind. 🙄
@@powerrangers6228 talking is just talking. Seeing a story is just seeing a story, liking a picture is just liking a picture, never see those things different from that. Always focus and care about the actions only. Listen, but don’t take it, till the actions match the words. Never stop your life or you routine, till he shows clear that he wants to give/put you where you want to be.
If a man is not in their masculine energy (they tend to be passive and may have more feminine energy), you will have the instinct to chase them. Because, a woman who subconsciously has more masculine energy will tend to attract men like this.
Hold on please. Please tell me more. Do you mean you agree with the videos messaging or that as a “black cat” you make the man less masculine and force him into a more feminine state?
I experience women chasing me and I have a feminine mind - but I have become more masculine lately. Now I'm more balanced: Focusing on freedom, money, success, power, creativity, spirituality and totally on my mission oriented.
@@samanthaorologio6866 Black cat means passive and mysterious, it is natural for women who have feminine energy in them. You may act and try to be a black cat, but energy cannot lie, no matter how hard you try, if your subconscious mind is more dominant in masculine, you will act as masculine as a woman, not feminine. And in attracting a partner, it is always opposite to each other. Feminine will attract masculine, and vice versa. As I have explained, if a woman subconsciously has dominant masculine energy in her, she will attract the opposite man who has dominant feminine energy in him.
@@RadioIlluminaticom Not always, but yes, if you tend to be passive in relationships and like to be chased by women, you may have more feminine energy in you. I can feel if a man has dominant masculine energy or not, because the men around me tend to be feminine in the past, but after I overcome my subconscious energy, I tend to be more attracted to masculine men and I feel very passive and submissive when I am with them.
@@flowieedenn I was more feminine in the past (mentally), now I'm focused on my goals and working hard on my priorities. It feels 180 to go from femine to masculine energies. I have both, so it is both femine and masculine mindsets. The feminen energy is colder emotionally, the more masculine I become, the more emotions I feel. I have a bigger drive to go for what I want and my self confidence is much higher now than before. I was insecure.
I am going to try so hard to be in my black cat energy going forward. I’ve always been a people pleaser and that doesn’t serve me at all so this is going to be such an amazing change
This is me. I’m a life long people pleaser and EVERYONE in my life is a total opposite freaking asshole. I’m not chasing people around begging for love and acceptance though, I just swallow all the bullshit so nobody else has to. If someone is shitty to me, I just swallow it and am there when they come around to their senses. Even my kids have shown qualities like everyone else in my life. Mean. Like my mom my husband my best friends my cat. They’re all fucking mean. And I’m not. But over the years I’ve felt myself slip away and come to a breaking point. And could feel it was detrimental to ME to be so passive. And kind. Alllll the mf time. And in the last year I’ve become so..:close to snapping in general. Like my patience has worn so thin. I can’t bite my tongue like i used to could. My mom used to tell me she could see me on an episode of snapped someday because of the way the other ones treat me (hilariously while she’s just as bad and even longer running than they are). And I’m not going to go that far but I absolutely can feel myself gone and never the same and how sad is that. Idk what to do with it. I just thought I’d tell you that I too have spent a lifetime people pleasing and never saying no.
@@samanthaorologio6866 I still catch myself people pleasing for the sake of others... Atleast that's what I tell myself, however it's deeper than that. We want to be appreciated, loved, and validated. We want to keep things peaceful, not get into any disagreements. I'm not surprised that people are even mean to you. That's a line I never allow anyone to cross. But see that you have to love yourself, put yourself first always. You cant be a good mum or friend if you aren't your healthiest. It's not selfish, it's the most right thing to do. Validate yourself, truly build respect and appreciation. We don't need it so much from outside. It's nice when it comes from outside but it shouldnt shape our reality. Definitely don't play victim anymore. Be the hero in your own story, this is your life Samantha. May you blossom into your truest self. You can have empathy, love and be gentle and at the same time be badass, aware and not walked all over.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
@5:14 "You do you and I will sit on my black cat pedestal judging you to see if you are good enough! " you make me 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂 sooo much, you are sooo funny! You have such a unique personality!
I love this...the idea of "rebranding". I just turned 50 and require a new me to emerge ...I feel my boyfriend of 12 yrs takes me for granted and i hate the way he has been speaking to me lately. Love this advice ! Thank you!
You need to spend a lot less time with him. Don't be so available. Let him miss you around . . . he's got too comfortable. Same time, modernise your haircut, new makeup, new perfume . . . Get dressed up whenever you leave the house without him . . . 😊😊 you need to do this for yourself whether he decides to lift his game or not. So your ready for the next guy !!
Think for yourself; do for yourself. Shift your focus onto YOU. And really mean it this time. Your boyfriend considers you a placeholder: he treats you as such.
Nice video, I'm still struggling with the end of my 7-year relationship. My significant other, who I considered to be the love of my life, left me a month ago, and I can't seem to shake the constant thoughts of him. Despite my efforts to bring him back into my life, nothing has worked, and I feel frustrated and hopeless. I've tried to move on, but my heart still longs for her, and I don't see myself with anyone else. I apologize for sharing this here, but I just can't seem to stop missing him.
It's hard to let go of someone you love; I went through a similar experience when my 12-year relationship ended. I tried everything to get him back, and eventually I had to turn to a spiritual counselor for assistance.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
We meet types of people that we become either a black cat or golden retriever for... it's important that when you choose a partner, you are naturally the black cat, because you can't keep playing mind games... early on you would know. Stay away as soon as you realize you're chasing.
This reads incoherent to me. Insecure people seek completion through others, be it by validation, praise, flattery, etc. A secure person is complete without external approval. Secure people don't go chasing, and they don't seek to be chased. Chaser, chasee, two sides of the same coin (insecurity). Two incomplete people don't combine to become whole. 0.5 + 0.5 =/= 2.
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
FACTS 👏👏 Ladies, don't control him, if he stops choosing you let him go, we don't chase. If you want to initiate and make the decisions from day 1, know you'll be doing this all the time with him, and it could get tiring eventually if it's not in your nature to chase or initiate all the time.
love video!, My five year relationship came to an end a month ago. The love of my life chose to leave, and I can't stop thinking about him; I love him so deeply. I've done everything I can to win him back, but nothing seems to work. I'm feeling frustrated and can't imagine my life with anyone else. Despite my efforts to move on, I just can't shake the thoughts of him. I don’t know why I’m sharing this, but I really miss him.,
It's tough to let go of someone you care about. I can relate, my 12year relationship also ended, and I struggled to move on. I tried everything to get him back, even seeking help from a spiritual counselor who ultimately helped me reconnect with him.
Margarita, thank you so much for your content. Growing up, I didn't have a mother or.a role model who could teach me these stuff and now I'm 28, trying to navigate dating life with zero knowledge and after a very bad breakup I found you and it's really been life-changing. Thank you!!!
Actually my mum never taught le anything about relationship , she was busy all the time with her work. Now that I am 31 yrs old and single (never have a boyfriend), I should change and learn how to do.
think to yourself "would my boyfriend settle?/did he settle/is he easily manipulated/etc?" and pick someone else because if he doesnt have his priorities straight, why are you with him?
Apparently, I've seen this with a lot of guys not all, they settle down when they're ready no matter who the girl is and that's why they're unhappy half the time!
I am glad you brought up attachment style. So if you are saying that a woman should be black cat (you referred to dismissive avoidant as black cat) and the man should be golden retriever (anxious attachment style), that is unhealthy relationship with two insecure people. Isn't it best for both parties to be secure and be on the same page without any need of black cat or golden retriever?
Based on what she was saying around 8:45, a black cat is secure in their feminine essence and would not entertain a dismissive avoidant at all. You can't guarantee that the other person is going to be secure when you meet them, so if you encounter a dismissive avoidant partner, and you yourself are secure, you will walk away and let the figure themselves out because that type of dynamic is inherently boring and exhausting. It may be helpful to think of black cat and golden retriever as the "optimal" range whereas avoidant and anxious are more extreme ends of the spectrum with disordered tendencies.
Female black cats are 💯 secure. No matter what they are settled in themselves and confident in their energy. Male black cats are insecure because that's feminine energy. Men act they do not react. Women observe then react with acceptance or disregard - Black Cat Energy. Female golden retrievers are insecure women. They are putting themselves out there as the Pick Me Pick Me women. Male golden retrievers are secure. They are in their confident action energy and doing things for approval which is 💯 masculine energy.
@@SamSam-ph5uj I wish I knew about these attachment styles before my last relationship. I was secure and in my black cat energy and he was chasing me like a golden retriever until after the honeymoon love bombing session was over then he pulled back and flipped the script and then there was a role reversal and I started being the golden retreiver chasing him because he was giving the black cat detached behavior and I was already very attached to him by this time in the relationship. So never again will I get so attached or allow myself to be love bombed. As soon as there was an energy shift I should’ve bounced and not pounced if I was a real black cat back then.
@@Emillyy94I had the exactttt same situation with my last relationship. He was chasing me at first, then I fell for him and got a little comfortable and therefore became a gold retriever which I didn't mind as my natural self is like that, playful, happy and energetic. I needed more attention and affection which for some reason he couldn't give. At the end he broke up with me out of nowhere and I didn't find out why.
You ooze that black cat energy through the screen Sis and I love that about you.. personally since I loveee Cats but also because you are someone who I have started looking up to in terms of improving my life ..sending love and hugs 💌✨️
I don't really know how to thank you Dr Oluwaseun for your great spell you're great at your work I thank you for bringing my lover back with your love spell Dr oluwaseun 😊
You are the wise and the older sister that I never had ♥️ Please make a video about what to do when you are single in your 20s and can’t find anyone compatible. Can’t move abroad at the moment, don’t want to use dating apps cause they suck.
As a 43 year old woman, married for 15 years, I would tell you to let it be and focus on yourself, your education, self care, getting healthy, etc. They always come when you’re not looking. I wasted many years “looking for the one” and when I stopped, that’s when my husband came in the picture 💁🏼♀️
Technically, if you have to go out of your way to behave a certain way to “attract him” aren’t you still chasing him? If you aren’t doing or acting a certain way out of the sole motive for YOURSELF, then essentially you’re doing it for someone else. And, the fact that you’re still putting in more effort, just more so an accumulation of tactics and indirectness, still makes you the chaser. Like a cat chasing its own tail, pun intended. I honestly just wanted to say that last bit, it doesn’t entirely correlate with my opinion.
what I found out in good relationships is that whenever the dynamic between two people is healthy, there is simply no room for thoughts about "black cat", "golden retriever", "chasing" etc. because in a healthy relationship two people don't have to play any roles. I think it largely comes from the media or art, where love is constantly portrayed as something we have to work on/chase/suffer for/fight for. in my very humble experience, the healthier relationship I have ever been in has never required me trying to be better or putting on a facade. and this is honestly the most liberating feeling ever!
I get the point of this video but it also stresses me out because from a distance people think im very cold. But when i get comfortable with someone, im very all clingy or say golden retriever. I dont want to pretend and suppress myself if thats how it is, might as well not be in a relationship.
@@allyssa3410 nooo, you might as well be yourself from the jump. Who you are, at your core, whoever that may be, is someone worthy of love. Putting on a show or playing a role will portray you to be someone you’re not, and attract people who don’t actually align with you.
HA!!! THIS IS GREAT! 💖🐈⬛🌊 it’s so true about being the energy and not allowing anyone to bother you. It’s made me magnetic af! And I usually wear all black 😌
Margarita, you’re such a woman!!!! Thank you for your work, your experience, your podcast and your book! Thank you for making it in Audible - I started yesterday and just finished now!!!🤩🤩🤩 wow I wish I had such a book in my 18s-20s to grasp that knowledge Yet grateful for the experience that was unfolded and the path I came to learn the lessons gain maturity and wisdom and become who I am today! I love indeed who I am and whom I am becoming Dear ladies, choose yourself first and live a feminine lazy life with joy and enjoy life as cake ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I’m actually having the complete opposite problem… he doesn’t know when to stop chasing (anxious attachment) and I only know how to respond in a secure attached way.
Tell him u care but need distance to breathe too. Appreciate him, But tell him outright „I’m at work and will check in w u at 1pm“. Eventually he’ll be secure. X
Just wanted to say I adore you so much, Margarita! I just finished your audiobook today, and it was an absolute joy and life-changing to listen to, just like all of your content. Thanks for helping guide my way through life and womanhood with greater confidence and success. 💕
I find black cat is also one desperate woman, Not maybe as desperate as a golden retriver but still she is the woman staying around with someone who is obviosly not crazy about her. if someone doesn't call I move immeditely on.
I think, it is more complicated: In my case I feel women chase me and I consider, if I should get lesbian friends. I get attracted to women that heavy flirt with me and don't find women that pretend to be cold attractive. Some men feel the opposite way.
This is so spooky bec I was genuinely wondering about the 2 briefcases thing the other day and I thought to myself, that isn't fair ???? but anyway thanks Margarita for affirming that cause i definitely felt like I was spiraling ❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you for these contents. I am here because girl needs some lessons to not fall into the same pit and get respected by men. I got used and criticized by a dismissive assh*le and i let these things to be ongoing, i almost became his golden retriver ugh....this on and off relationship just made me miserable and lost my self-esteem. But i think this is the best time to see what mistake i made and what i can learn from it. 🙂 1 thing is sure i won't enable to get disrespectes and i will get my black cat energy next man needs to show me what he can afford, if it is nothing or he makes me sad then just get out. Noone needs a useless man! We need a man who makes us feel safe and can be trusted and adds up to our energy. I will watch more video from you Margarita. Your words/contents are like the gold for my broken soul just like in kintsugi. ❤
Need a man who sees beyond all this nonsense. When i met my gf, she had failed relationships. Been mistreated and she was trying to put on a façade. The false sense of strength. But as a man, i didnt care about the façade. Coz i fell in love with her. She was not perfect and neither was I. And we built a relationship, 8 years strong now
I'm curious to know what your take is on making meals for your partner? Is that considering pampering and motherly energy? Edit: just got to the part where you said it's not mothering.
"oh yeah I was talking to Rebecca" "you know what I love? forest green. I'd like forest green for my office" OMGGG I genuinely laughed out loud! What a queen energy !!!
Just dont make him chase you but leave. If he is old enough to walk, talk he can do anything. It is his choice not to chase you and this is proven in my life. All men who seemed shy or slow they didn't want me.
The second I lost my attachment (control and ego) to him I was in the driver's seat. I am the main character. Never make a man the main character of your life. ❤
Needed to read this! I am currently attached to my ex that’s giving me mixed signals..
Man .. Not only man. Man, woman especially PARENT
Howwww to detach?
That should be applied to every human being. And relationships.
@@iam7688you can only detach when you start putting yourself first, which means every step you take needs to be align with your needs and desires. It might sound selfish but it’s the only way. It doesn’t matter how much you love a person always respect yourself to the point that you will never put yourself in a position that you might end up feeling: humiliated, undesired, unwanted, unloved, disrespected, forced etc.
To simplify, black cat means live your own life with purpose, and let other people live theirs. If a man wants to be in your life, you will know that through his actions. No need to be an eager, excited for attention golden retriever.
Yeah you are so right...i've been talk with someone recently. I met this guy online, we had so many common and i think i like him, he also said that he really2 like me.But i need to see his action so i hold my self try to be black cat energy and now we not talk for a week 😂.But he like see my IG story...So i think i need to focus on my life
@@powerrangers6228I'd STRONGLY advise you stay away from online dudes.
@@powerrangers6228 probably he already have a gf 🥲
@@powerrangers6228lol. Many Guys have liked me all the time.
They just can’t really get me and keep me. :)
Men can like you. But that doesn’t mean that they love and value your presence in their lives. I learned to not get excited about them giving me attention. and actually see if they are doing anything for me to want to stay around them and keep them in the back of my mind. 🙄
@@powerrangers6228 talking is just talking. Seeing a story is just seeing a story, liking a picture is just liking a picture, never see those things different from that. Always focus and care about the actions only. Listen, but don’t take it, till the actions match the words. Never stop your life or you routine, till he shows clear that he wants to give/put you where you want to be.
"don't go around announcing it", "I've changed" lol I just got called out so hard 💀😂
Ahahaha righttt
Hahahhahaha I laughed out loud so hard lol “ridiculous”
EVERYBODY I AM A BLACK CAT NOW.
😂
Love her sense of humour hahahahahha
As an anxious avoidant, I’ve learned to turn into my avoidant side when I find myself anxious with an avoidant 🐈⬛
I'm working on this
Brilliant 🙌
@@ira4600 Studying stoicism may help
Howww.. I need help with this. It's getting so hard. His avoidance and inconsistency is bothering me too much
@@CA.SwastiStudying stoicism may help-anything that helps you transition 100% of your energy towards yourself
Black cats don't give an F what you do...truer words were never spoken❤
If a man is not in their masculine energy (they tend to be passive and may have more feminine energy), you will have the instinct to chase them. Because, a woman who subconsciously has more masculine energy will tend to attract men like this.
Hold on please. Please tell me more. Do you mean you agree with the videos messaging or that as a “black cat” you make the man less masculine and force him into a more feminine state?
I experience women chasing me and I have a feminine mind - but I have become more masculine lately. Now I'm more balanced: Focusing on freedom, money, success, power, creativity, spirituality and totally on my mission oriented.
@@samanthaorologio6866 Black cat means passive and mysterious, it is natural for women who have feminine energy in them. You may act and try to be a black cat, but energy cannot lie, no matter how hard you try, if your subconscious mind is more dominant in masculine, you will act as masculine as a woman, not feminine. And in attracting a partner, it is always opposite to each other. Feminine will attract masculine, and vice versa. As I have explained, if a woman subconsciously has dominant masculine energy in her, she will attract the opposite man who has dominant feminine energy in him.
@@RadioIlluminaticom Not always, but yes, if you tend to be passive in relationships and like to be chased by women, you may have more feminine energy in you. I can feel if a man has dominant masculine energy or not, because the men around me tend to be feminine in the past, but after I overcome my subconscious energy, I tend to be more attracted to masculine men and I feel very passive and submissive when I am with them.
@@flowieedenn I was more feminine in the past (mentally), now I'm focused on my goals and working hard on my priorities. It feels 180 to go from femine to masculine energies. I have both, so it is both femine and masculine mindsets.
The feminen energy is colder emotionally, the more masculine I become, the more emotions I feel. I have a bigger drive to go for what I want and my self confidence is much higher now than before. I was insecure.
‘Oh everyone is trying to trap me…’
“They’re actually not. They are just trying to have a relationship with you”😂 that was funny for no reason
My next book will be called, “Feminine, flow, wisdom, black cat, meow” LoL adore ya!
We need it on tshirts
I am going to try so hard to be in my black cat energy going forward. I’ve always been a people pleaser and that doesn’t serve me at all so this is going to be such an amazing change
You got this Emily. You got this!
@@helee28 thank you so much! I appreciate your support!
This is me. I’m a life long people pleaser and EVERYONE in my life is a total opposite freaking asshole. I’m not chasing people around begging for love and acceptance though, I just swallow all the bullshit so nobody else has to. If someone is shitty to me, I just swallow it and am there when they come around to their senses. Even my kids have shown qualities like everyone else in my life. Mean. Like my mom my husband my best friends my cat. They’re all fucking mean. And I’m not. But over the years I’ve felt myself slip away and come to a breaking point. And could feel it was detrimental to ME to be so passive. And kind. Alllll the mf time. And in the last year I’ve become so..:close to snapping in general. Like my patience has worn so thin. I can’t bite my tongue like i used to could. My mom used to tell me she could see me on an episode of snapped someday because of the way the other ones treat me (hilariously while she’s just as bad and even longer running than they are). And I’m not going to go that far but I absolutely can feel myself gone and never the same and how sad is that. Idk what to do with it. I just thought I’d tell you that I too have spent a lifetime people pleasing and never saying no.
@@samanthaorologio6866 I still catch myself people pleasing for the sake of others... Atleast that's what I tell myself, however it's deeper than that. We want to be appreciated, loved, and validated. We want to keep things peaceful, not get into any disagreements. I'm not surprised that people are even mean to you. That's a line I never allow anyone to cross. But see that you have to love yourself, put yourself first always. You cant be a good mum or friend if you aren't your healthiest. It's not selfish, it's the most right thing to do. Validate yourself, truly build respect and appreciation. We don't need it so much from outside. It's nice when it comes from outside but it shouldnt shape our reality. Definitely don't play victim anymore. Be the hero in your own story, this is your life Samantha.
May you blossom into your truest self. You can have empathy, love and be gentle and at the same time be badass, aware and not walked all over.
0:48 contacting your dog, contacting your cat 😂😂😂😂
😂
😂😂😂😂
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him
His name is Fatherabulu, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked he up now online. impressive
@5:14 "You do you and I will sit on my black cat pedestal judging you to see if you are good enough! " you make me 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂 sooo much, you are sooo funny! You have such a unique personality!
Only in a first world country could the weaker gender pretend that they are above the stronger one. 😂😂
I love this...the idea of "rebranding". I just turned 50 and require a new me to emerge ...I feel my boyfriend of 12 yrs takes me for granted and i hate the way he has been speaking to me lately. Love this advice ! Thank you!
He has another woman
Feels like he can do better than you, isn't attracted to you anymore that's why you get treated like that
You need to spend a lot less time with him. Don't be so available. Let him miss you around . . . he's got too comfortable. Same time, modernise your haircut, new makeup, new perfume . . . Get dressed up whenever you leave the house without him . . . 😊😊 you need to do this for yourself whether he decides to lift his game or not. So your ready for the next guy !!
Think for yourself; do for yourself. Shift your focus onto YOU. And really mean it this time. Your boyfriend considers you a placeholder: he treats you as such.
Nice video, I'm still struggling with the end of my 7-year relationship. My significant other, who I considered to be the love of my life, left me a month ago, and I can't seem to shake the constant thoughts of him. Despite my efforts to bring him back into my life, nothing has worked, and I feel frustrated and hopeless. I've tried to move on, but my heart still longs for her, and I don't see myself with anyone else. I apologize for sharing this here, but I just can't seem to stop missing him.
It's hard to let go of someone you love; I went through a similar experience when my 12-year relationship ended. I tried everything to get him back, and eventually I had to turn to a spiritual counselor for assistance.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
We meet types of people that we become either a black cat or golden retriever for... it's important that when you choose a partner, you are naturally the black cat, because you can't keep playing mind games... early on you would know. Stay away as soon as you realize you're chasing.
This reads incoherent to me. Insecure people seek completion through others, be it by validation, praise, flattery, etc. A secure person is complete without external approval. Secure people don't go chasing, and they don't seek to be chased. Chaser, chasee, two sides of the same coin (insecurity). Two incomplete people don't combine to become whole. 0.5 + 0.5 =/= 2.
Thank you Dr Oluwaseun for helping me solving my love problem. I will never forget your favor for the rest of my life.
He’s on Facebook…
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
FACTS 👏👏
Ladies, don't control him, if he stops choosing you let him go, we don't chase.
If you want to initiate and make the decisions from day 1, know you'll be doing this all the time with him, and it could get tiring eventually if it's not in your nature to chase or initiate all the time.
love video!, My five year relationship came to an end a month ago. The love of my life chose to leave, and I can't stop thinking about him; I love him so deeply. I've done everything I can to win him back, but nothing seems to work. I'm feeling frustrated and can't imagine my life with anyone else. Despite my efforts to move on, I just can't shake the thoughts of him. I don’t know why I’m sharing this, but I really miss him.,
It's tough to let go of someone you care about. I can relate, my 12year relationship also ended, and I struggled to move on. I tried everything to get him back, even seeking help from a spiritual counselor who ultimately helped me reconnect with him.
That's incredible! How did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I contact one?
His name is Owen Abiola, and he’s an amazing spiritual counselor who specializes in bringing back lost loves.
Owen Abiola has incredible powers, and he can assist you.
Thank you for sharing this valuable information! I just looked him up online, and I'm impressed.
Margarita, thank you so much for your content. Growing up, I didn't have a mother or.a role model who could teach me these stuff and now I'm 28, trying to navigate dating life with zero knowledge and after a very bad breakup I found you and it's really been life-changing. Thank you!!!
Hope you’re doing okay after the bad breakup 💕 he had to go to make space for what’s amazing that’s coming for you
Actually my mum never taught le anything about relationship , she was busy all the time with her work. Now that I am 31 yrs old and single (never have a boyfriend), I should change and learn how to do.
I got all the way to the middle “I already do this” but it’s like reassurance that I’m doing what I need to do & will one day be a wife💍
I heard most men dont get married to their "dream girl", just whoever was at the right place at the right time
I have not found this to be true at all.
think to yourself "would my boyfriend settle?/did he settle/is he easily manipulated/etc?" and pick someone else because if he doesnt have his priorities straight, why are you with him?
You heard this from sex and the city 😂
It happens but I feel that it's just a cope
Apparently, I've seen this with a lot of guys not all, they settle down when they're ready no matter who the girl is and that's why they're unhappy half the time!
If you are being chased, it means you are running too. Tired of games! 😂
Everybody’s chasing me… “they’re actually not” 😂 💯
I am glad you brought up attachment style. So if you are saying that a woman should be black cat (you referred to dismissive avoidant as black cat) and the man should be golden retriever (anxious attachment style), that is unhealthy relationship with two insecure people. Isn't it best for both parties to be secure and be on the same page without any need of black cat or golden retriever?
Based on what she was saying around 8:45, a black cat is secure in their feminine essence and would not entertain a dismissive avoidant at all. You can't guarantee that the other person is going to be secure when you meet them, so if you encounter a dismissive avoidant partner, and you yourself are secure, you will walk away and let the figure themselves out because that type of dynamic is inherently boring and exhausting.
It may be helpful to think of black cat and golden retriever as the "optimal" range whereas avoidant and anxious are more extreme ends of the spectrum with disordered tendencies.
No, you should have a fully secure attachment style only.
Female black cats are 💯 secure. No matter what they are settled in themselves and confident in their energy.
Male black cats are insecure because that's feminine energy. Men act they do not react. Women observe then react with acceptance or disregard - Black Cat Energy.
Female golden retrievers are insecure women. They are putting themselves out there as the Pick Me Pick Me women.
Male golden retrievers are secure. They are in their confident action energy and doing things for approval which is 💯 masculine energy.
@@SamSam-ph5uj I wish I knew about these attachment styles before my last relationship. I was secure and in my black cat energy and he was chasing me like a golden retriever until after the honeymoon love bombing session was over then he pulled back and flipped the script and then there was a role reversal and I started being the golden retreiver chasing him because he was giving the black cat detached behavior and I was already very attached to him by this time in the relationship. So never again will I get so attached or allow myself to be love bombed. As soon as there was an energy shift I should’ve bounced and not pounced if I was a real black cat back then.
@@Emillyy94I had the exactttt same situation with my last relationship. He was chasing me at first, then I fell for him and got a little comfortable and therefore became a gold retriever which I didn't mind as my natural self is like that, playful, happy and energetic. I needed more attention and affection which for some reason he couldn't give. At the end he broke up with me out of nowhere and I didn't find out why.
8:44 “ yuuuck “ i love her😭
You ooze that black cat energy through the screen Sis and I love that about you.. personally since I loveee Cats but also because you are someone who I have started looking up to in terms of improving my life ..sending love and hugs 💌✨️
I don't really know how to thank you Dr Oluwaseun for your great spell you're great at your work I thank you for bringing my lover back with your love spell Dr oluwaseun 😊
He’s on Facebook page
Ahahahahahah “do we need to call the police?”
🤣🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣
I love that part where the phone is falling and “oi oi oi” lol omg
Always refreshing to hear you speak..you literally lift up my spirits. I'm glad I found youuu❤
I just can't stop thanking you enough Dr OLUWASEUN or bringing back my lover to me...... really appreciate sir😊
He’s on Facebook page…
You are the wise and the older sister that I never had ♥️ Please make a video about what to do when you are single in your 20s and can’t find anyone compatible. Can’t move abroad at the moment, don’t want to use dating apps cause they suck.
As a 43 year old woman, married for 15 years, I would tell you to let it be and focus on yourself, your education, self care, getting healthy, etc. They always come when you’re not looking. I wasted many years “looking for the one” and when I stopped, that’s when my husband came in the picture 💁🏼♀️
Technically, if you have to go out of your way to behave a certain way to “attract him” aren’t you still chasing him? If you aren’t doing or acting a certain way out of the sole motive for YOURSELF, then essentially you’re doing it for someone else. And, the fact that you’re still putting in more effort, just more so an accumulation of tactics and indirectness, still makes you the chaser. Like a cat chasing its own tail, pun intended. I honestly just wanted to say that last bit, it doesn’t entirely correlate with my opinion.
😂😂Thanks for that last line it made me laugh😂
what I found out in good relationships is that whenever the dynamic between two people is healthy, there is simply no room for thoughts about "black cat", "golden retriever", "chasing" etc. because in a healthy relationship two people don't have to play any roles. I think it largely comes from the media or art, where love is constantly portrayed as something we have to work on/chase/suffer for/fight for. in my very humble experience, the healthier relationship I have ever been in has never required me trying to be better or putting on a facade. and this is honestly the most liberating feeling ever!
I get the point of this video but it also stresses me out because from a distance people think im very cold. But when i get comfortable with someone, im very all clingy or say golden retriever. I dont want to pretend and suppress myself if thats how it is, might as well not be in a relationship.
@@alexviolett thank you so much for your input, gave me something to think about!
@@allyssa3410 nooo, you might as well be yourself from the jump. Who you are, at your core, whoever that may be, is someone worthy of love. Putting on a show or playing a role will portray you to be someone you’re not, and attract people who don’t actually align with you.
The swag is unmatched ❤
HA!!! THIS IS GREAT! 💖🐈⬛🌊 it’s so true about being the energy and not allowing anyone to bother you. It’s made me magnetic af! And I usually wear all black 😌
you are genuinely so smart and hilarious i love your videos
Her book is on Spotify!:) she has a whole channel there, I’ve just discovered lol ❤
Margarita, you’re such a woman!!!! Thank you for your work, your experience, your podcast and your book! Thank you for making it in Audible - I started yesterday and just finished now!!!🤩🤩🤩 wow I wish I had such a book in my 18s-20s to grasp that knowledge
Yet grateful for the experience that was unfolded and the path I came to learn the lessons gain maturity and wisdom and become who I am today! I love indeed who I am and whom I am becoming
Dear ladies, choose yourself first and live a feminine lazy life with joy and enjoy life as cake ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Ok, she convinced me. Did she hypnotized me?
He better open up a can of tuna and sweetly calling “here kitty kitty” or im going to find a treat and a pet from someone else 🐈⬛
It's funny bc most 75% of black cats are male.... it's rare to come across a black female cat 😻♥️
Nowadays...
I had a rare female black cat and she was truly magickal! RIP Nyxie baby
I’m actually having the complete opposite problem… he doesn’t know when to stop chasing (anxious attachment) and I only know how to respond in a secure attached way.
Tell him u care but need distance to breathe too.
Appreciate him,
But tell him outright „I’m at work and will check in w u at 1pm“. Eventually he’ll be secure. X
That was one of my favourite episodes
I’ve watched this three times now. This is SO good. Thank you. 🙏🏽
We love you Margarita ❤️
Ойойойойой the phone fell! Love you 😆❤️🔥
God, I love this class
I wouldn't say 50% of the world I secure, then why are there soooo many problems in romantic relationships? It has to be only like 25%.
Yay, thanks for this! I love your previous video on Black Cat Energy
Great video, even though my fellow women with fearful avoidant/disorganized attachment styles are often overlooked. Bless us 🐈⬛✨
should have watched this at least 2 days ago 😭😭
You will be the black cat for somebody. Yes I love that. Just because I wasnt for him I will be for someone else.
Just wanted to say I adore you so much, Margarita! I just finished your audiobook today, and it was an absolute joy and life-changing to listen to, just like all of your content. Thanks for helping guide my way through life and womanhood with greater confidence and success. 💕
Yes mother! Love this content
You know we love you margarita right ! ❤❤❤
“Do we need to call the police” Oh my ☠️
All these videos make perfect logical and psychological sense, however much easier said than done on many fronts.
I find black cat is also one desperate woman, Not maybe as desperate as a golden retriver but still she is the woman staying around with someone who is obviosly not crazy about her. if someone doesn't call I move immeditely on.
10:28 the creative type?
I love you sooo much, everything you do and all that you are, thank you always ♡ GORGEOUS MAMA
I just like you, you are so grounded and confident ❤
Hiii Margarita! Hitting like before I even listen to the whole thing lol
Thank you for the great information ✨💗
I will be the black cat for someone 🐈⬛
Thanks for educating about a topic I did not ever knew! I thought taking and pampering regularly care of your man will actually keep him with you !!
I love your energy and focus...I learn or find way to elevate myself every time I watch your videos....❤
You are a gem
How Do I break up as the black cat?
My inner black cat: we dont break up sweety pie.We just withdraw our energy and time becaues it bores us.🥰😂
A true woman embodies also softness in her voice... Not the "I know it all".. Kind of way of speaking.
Absolutely love you for this video! I didn’t know how much I needed it
Are we both September 1989? 😁😅 Just curious. Virgo ♍ here.
Awesome video, Margarita, full of wisdom. What I want to know - what foundation are you wearing? Your skin is absolutely glowing wow!!!
It’s like a big sister giving advise
You have truly reach the peak of the novelty wave predicted by Terence McKenna. Congratulations! Happy.❤😂😮😊
You have the best content on youtube. Every woman should watch you videos before getting married ❤
Can he as the Golden Retriever still be dominant and masculine energetically while worshiping and devoted to the woman as the black cat?
Ваше видео попалось мне впервые, и в моменте «Ойойойойой» я поняла что вы русская. Ваш английский безупречный. Thank u for this useful video 💓
I love how deeply your channel grew up! That is super inspiring))
Not the golden retriever voice 😭😫
What about when we have this crazy energy, we can’t live without each other but he’s not ready for a relationship ?
Thank You are amazing ❤🙏🏽
Your face looks really smooth 🔥🔥
I think, it is more complicated: In my case I feel women chase me and I consider, if I should get lesbian friends. I get attracted to women that heavy flirt with me and don't find women that pretend to be cold attractive. Some men feel the opposite way.
lol you don't need to get offended. also, not all straight people wants to f you
Thank you for this. I love your straightforward delivery, btw.
You are the ultimate slinky black cat !
Thank you for this! Just solidifying my worth in my mind during this entire video 🔥
I never understood why people announce things. Just do it!
This is so spooky bec I was genuinely wondering about the 2 briefcases thing the other day and I thought to myself, that isn't fair ???? but anyway thanks Margarita for affirming that cause i definitely felt like I was spiraling ❤❤❤❤❤
Perfect timing 👏 thank you sooo much 🖤🖤🙌
Just found you for the first time! Love your energy and the message is on point! 😍💕✨
Wow, I do this naturally (but I still learned new things and will use them, thank you)
Thank you Margarita for making this video. I feel reassured ❤
Thank you Margarita! Perfect timing ❤
Thank you for these contents. I am here because girl needs some lessons to not fall into the same pit and get respected by men. I got used and criticized by a dismissive assh*le and i let these things to be ongoing, i almost became his golden retriver ugh....this on and off relationship just made me miserable and lost my self-esteem. But i think this is the best time to see what mistake i made and what i can learn from it. 🙂 1 thing is sure i won't enable to get disrespectes and i will get my black cat energy next man needs to show me what he can afford, if it is nothing or he makes me sad then just get out. Noone needs a useless man! We need a man who makes us feel safe and can be trusted and adds up to our energy. I will watch more video from you Margarita. Your words/contents are like the gold for my broken soul just like in kintsugi. ❤
Going through this same thing!
Need a man who sees beyond all this nonsense. When i met my gf, she had failed relationships. Been mistreated and she was trying to put on a façade. The false sense of strength. But as a man, i didnt care about the façade. Coz i fell in love with her. She was not perfect and neither was I. And we built a relationship, 8 years strong now
I'm watching another RUclips channel and the girl was recommending you and your content, I totally agree with all your advices
I love you, Fairy Godmother!
I listen to podcast. I watch videos. Show me the ways! I have so much to learn.
I'm curious to know what your take is on making meals for your partner? Is that considering pampering and motherly energy?
Edit: just got to the part where you said it's not mothering.
"oh yeah I was talking to Rebecca"
"you know what I love? forest green. I'd like forest green for my office"
OMGGG I genuinely laughed out loud! What a queen energy !!!
What if I’m not the black cat or the golden retriever but I’m the hippo?
Just dont make him chase you but leave. If he is old enough to walk, talk he can do anything. It is his choice not to chase you and this is proven in my life. All men who seemed shy or slow they didn't want me.
Damn, you ate that up sis ! 👏