The SCIENCE of LOVE ADDICTION | How they're making you OBSESSED with them

Поделиться
HTML-код
  • Опубликовано: 3 июн 2024
  • To ask me any personalised questions and get a video response from me, become a Patreon member!
    Join our psychology Patreon community today (special discount): patreon.com/FrancescaPsycholo...
    Get the cognitive distortions e-book (free for Patreon members): www.patreon.com/FrancescaPsyc...
    #psychology #psychologyhacks
    00:00 - Intro
    00:10 - How dopamine works
    00:29 - Why the early stages of love feel exciting
    00:45 - How a healthy relationship works
    01:20 - Unhealthy relationships
    01:37 - You can't crave something that you already have
    02:37 - Partial reward schedule
    03:27 - Break-ups & rejection
    03:48 - Make better choices
    04:34 - Join my Patreon

Комментарии • 105

  • @Hana-ne5ng
    @Hana-ne5ng 23 дня назад +53

    If somebody is giving you mixed signals then the chances are that you are a backup and they genuinely not interested in you and doesn't see any future with you keep yourself protect by these kind of people in the very beginning. If you are seeing these gestures coming from them then don't ignore them. You shouldn't be with a person who doesn't gives you value. you also deserve enough energy of him/her as much you are investing on them. What you don't want in the beginning you will not tolerate in the future so keep yourself protect. 🙏

    • @tensevo
      @tensevo 8 часов назад

      a man should be constantly chasing you, or it shows they are interested in somebody else.

  • @StudyChannel761
    @StudyChannel761 25 дней назад +34

    Since I have started watching her videos I have stopped falling in love, approaching men, pursuing them and responding to their interest. Because, I observe my thoughts and actions every time & understand why I feel certain ways & boom! The attractions are gone.

    • @ChessTube100
      @ChessTube100 22 дня назад +6

      Understanding love is like dissecting an animal. Once you are done, your object is dead.

    • @StudyChannel761
      @StudyChannel761 21 день назад

      ​@@ChessTube100 true.

    • @commecicommeca9944
      @commecicommeca9944 21 день назад +4

      ​@@ChessTube100are you sure you mean love - or maybe limerencing (aka obsessing over someone, chasing etc.)?

  • @Lawlight61
    @Lawlight61 25 дней назад +52

    The crazy part is she does not even know that she makes me addicted or obsessed with her. It gets even harder when you stand in your own way but assume that someone else sabotages you. I hate me for doing that to myselfe.

    • @s.k1127
      @s.k1127 24 дня назад +5

      Same here, I too fed up with my own feelings for him, I don't want to bother him, but I just find it difficult to get over him bcz of so many reminders mind set of him.

    • @hattabsleh6210
      @hattabsleh6210 22 дня назад +5

      Just move on bro, dont waste more than few weeks on a person if there is no improvement move on

  • @how_you_talk
    @how_you_talk 18 дней назад +9

    I am a human behaviour expert and in many cases I have seen after all the drama in the end people just want a stable secure relationship and the dopamine chase becomes burdensome. It affects health badly as well. Many land into therapy.

  • @MindBuddies
    @MindBuddies 25 дней назад +24

    The breakdown of dopamine's role in romantic obsession is fascinating. Thanks for your sharing!

  • @thatsmellsdivine
    @thatsmellsdivine 19 дней назад +10

    As someone with ADHD, this video is VERY eye opening!!

  • @arica1798
    @arica1798 24 дня назад +8

    Anticipation is the best free gift

  • @naimulislamueramgarh9452
    @naimulislamueramgarh9452 24 дня назад +2

    Thank you for this new setup for RUclips.Best of luck.

  • @magwambui8251
    @magwambui8251 21 день назад +5

    Well...I decided to have that dopamine chase for higher power...God. It's an interesting journey 🎉

  • @josealfredfernandes
    @josealfredfernandes 25 дней назад +17

    I want to be in my first relationship without all the bad addictions. Just simple love. No one sided. Mutual. Stable. I want to have babies with her. My first girlfriend and my one and only lovely wife even during and after misunderstandings and fights. No break up no divorce. I want to find love which is loyal like how my parents have. I'm 22 and I got rejected 3x!

  • @Jennifer-xl5fh
    @Jennifer-xl5fh 20 дней назад +1

    Thank you so much for the perfect timing and content with practical help

  • @brittanysmith3716
    @brittanysmith3716 25 дней назад +25

    Can you show us steps to detox from dopamine?

    • @amyg995
      @amyg995 24 дня назад +4

      Get idea 💡 I agree 💯🙌🏻

    • @athens31415
      @athens31415 17 дней назад +1

      If you have ADHD, then just get treated for it. Problem solved.

    • @mbadillomylesjerichob.9494
      @mbadillomylesjerichob.9494 14 дней назад

      Reduce or temporarily remove all instant rewards like, social media,games,music,movies etc in 16 hours to weeks or days

  • @graceguerzon8347
    @graceguerzon8347 24 дня назад +1

    I love this ❤. It reminds me of what’s really important in my nervous system.

  • @lauraa857
    @lauraa857 24 дня назад +14

    I experienced that with a man - I think about him every day since a year now. It is hard for me because I don't find attractive guys in general neither are interested in them. So it is hard to replace. I wish i never met him.

    • @primescapeproductions7594
      @primescapeproductions7594 16 дней назад

      Same 🙌🏽😞

    • @Nonfiction.Reader
      @Nonfiction.Reader 10 дней назад

      I'm glad I met him. I'm glad I can love deeply. I look forward to finding a healthy man and have a healthy relationship. God bless you Laura.

  • @yokiweyy4770
    @yokiweyy4770 25 дней назад +11

    I think I'm experiencing something similar.
    A few years ago I met this girl who's a friend of my sister. She lives away in another city and was visiting my sister. We went on some dates a couple of months later when she was visiting again. Hit it off really well. We even get intimate. Then she goes back home, but we still keep in touch. She then starts disappearing more and more until I stop texting her thinking I was just wasting my time and feeling like shit for months because I really liked her.
    Then I see her again last week at my sister's wedding. She apologized for ghosting me, telling me that she really liked me, but was scared of the distance and somehow felt anxious about keeping in touch. All cool and dandy and we enjoy the evening. Then later, after the both of us had some drinks, she grabs my hand, leans in and we kiss. We spend the rest of the night making out like crazy, but also talking about how it sucks that we live far apart and can't make it work. We both want to go to my place and bang like there's no tomorrow, but she keeps her composure, saying that it's a mistake, that we will get burned again and that she doesn't want to hurt me again.
    Well she was right. Even though we didn't go all the way I can't stop thinking about her and about how I'd love to see her again, about how it really sucks that we are long distance and couldn't at least try to have a normal relationship with her.
    I'm even thinking about texting her and proposing her to try to go long distance. I really just don't want to give up the only girl that liked me without me having to jump through countless hoops and that I really felt a strong connection to.
    Maybe I'm just venting here, but I think that this story has some relevance with the video's topic. I crave her because she gave me the strong highs when we saw each other, and then there's the lows after she ghosted me back then and now that I can't see her.

    • @just4dalaughters431
      @just4dalaughters431 24 дня назад +8

      She don’t really like u, move on, she just don’t want to hurt u because she’s ur sister’s friend.
      Do u know what a girl will do if she really wants u? ..EVERYTHING!!

    • @Poodle_Gun
      @Poodle_Gun 24 дня назад

      Men say they like virgins lmao. They like women with experience and feeling sad

    • @user-hf7kj9dp1f
      @user-hf7kj9dp1f 24 дня назад +4

      ​@@just4dalaughters431 not really. As a girl i can say we might like someone but still never text them back either cause they are inconsistent or something like that or because we are scared.

    • @lisaruvalcaba1853
      @lisaruvalcaba1853 23 дня назад +3

      Thanks for sharing long distancer here too. Maybe she’s afraid of losing herself in you, thinking you won’t move to her area or won’t invite her into your area with a promise of commitment. Fear of rejection & abandonment are biggies for my ghosting tendencies. Talking to her about it would be the best route & allowing yourself to just listen to her thoughts on it. Lean into Vulnerability & intensity to see what their telling you. You may have got the gold.

    • @yokiweyy4770
      @yokiweyy4770 23 дня назад

      @@lisaruvalcaba1853 thanks for your insight, but i yestarday i found something out that completely turned me off from her. i talked to my sister about all this and she told me that this girl was already seeing another guy, who also lives away from her.
      so i got pissed for two reasons. first, she kissed me while she was seeing someone else, all the while telling me how it would have been great if didn't live so far apart. so she disrespected both me and him. second, she was all anxious and scared about long distance with me, but is ok with long distance with this other dude.
      and also, if we would have tried going long distance, who says that she won't pull a stunt like this on me? maybe she goes out with her friends, sees an ex and they have sex again because she gets caught up in the moment?
      so yeah, @just4dalaughters431 is right. she doesn't care. i know that i deserve better than this, so i won't waste more time on her

  • @SarkasticProjects
    @SarkasticProjects 21 день назад

    Amazing video. ❤the setup is perfect

  • @sarahs5340
    @sarahs5340 17 дней назад

    This was so so helpful. Thank you.

  • @jacksavage279
    @jacksavage279 21 день назад

    Great content from you on this channel.

  • @mackzed88
    @mackzed88 3 дня назад

    Thank you. This has been an important and informative video for me and explains so much that I have gone through in relationships. You have put a lot in a concise package.

  • @payelsahaghosh9155
    @payelsahaghosh9155 21 день назад

    Very nice explanation... Thanks🙏🙏🙏🙏

  • @klaudiawitek5300
    @klaudiawitek5300 24 дня назад +2

    The question is how to be attracted to a partner/ find a partner with who you can create a healthy dynamic?

  • @user-hf7kj9dp1f
    @user-hf7kj9dp1f 24 дня назад +7

    Please make a video on how to not get obsessed with a guy when he is infrequent or inconsistent. How to stop addiction.( because sometimes the person isnt doing it on purpose and its just the start)

    • @alexdragon6893
      @alexdragon6893 21 день назад +1

      walk away, you can't say they don't do it on purpose, at a deeper lever they know it and they love it

    • @Nonfiction.Reader
      @Nonfiction.Reader 10 дней назад

      Be aware of how a trama bond is created.

  • @lourencofernandes9774
    @lourencofernandes9774 3 дня назад

    Thank you dear, the best advice. God Bless you.

  • @johnnycomelately6341
    @johnnycomelately6341 21 день назад

    very good . thank you

  • @theteal2086
    @theteal2086 25 дней назад +6

    It’s too late for me but your advice will definitely help people develop an awareness about obsession.

  • @jaimerodriguez1550
    @jaimerodriguez1550 17 дней назад +2

    I got a coworker who won't stop flirting with me. I started chasing her, then she started saying she was busy, then i started ignoring her and talking to other girls. Her facial expressions, her voice, her tone, her body language, how close she comes to me, what she says, she escalates it. I dont know whos more addicted me or her.

  • @tensevo
    @tensevo 8 часов назад

    facts, people only think they are in "toxic relationship" when they are the weaker party,
    when they are in dominant position, they think it is a "healthy relationship"
    but the partner thinks it is a "toxic relationship"

  • @vantasiascauldron1861
    @vantasiascauldron1861 25 дней назад +14

    This is so interesting. How does one make a dopamine detox?

    • @Nilslos
      @Nilslos 23 дня назад +4

      I think what is meant here is no complete dopamine detox, but to identify if there are such unhealthy dopamine sources and get distance from them. Like when you recognise you're attracted to someone but also that it is no mutual attraction, you decide to have less contact with that person.

    • @andromeda3780
      @andromeda3780 22 дня назад +1

      Set real standards for yourself and stick by them.

  • @MohammedAbdullah-gx9rv
    @MohammedAbdullah-gx9rv 17 дней назад

    I did a good thing those last days
    That I have followed you
    Such a great thing
    Greatful thanks

  • @Seraphina93
    @Seraphina93 24 дня назад +4

    Last two love interests were a completely insane dismissive-avoidant and a fearful-avoidant.
    Just kick me in the head.
    I’ll just step off until I don’t feel anything anymore.

    • @taghazoutmoon5031
      @taghazoutmoon5031 22 дня назад

      They were only avoidant because not into you or busy with more important things

  • @Madhuwellness
    @Madhuwellness 14 дней назад

    Good one ❤

  • @devyanikhatri7225
    @devyanikhatri7225 19 дней назад

    Thank you v much ❤ sis

  • @MMahim-lh8nx
    @MMahim-lh8nx 22 дня назад

    Good vedio, thank you mam!

  • @c.t.martin3915
    @c.t.martin3915 23 дня назад +7

    A relationship of mine ended a few months ago - it was such a rollercoaster. During the relationship I completely lost myself and boy it completely destroyed me. Feeling better now. My advice to anyone - as the old adage says - if it's not a 'hell yea!', it's a no.
    Walk away.

    • @commecicommeca9944
      @commecicommeca9944 21 день назад +1

      But don't you think that a "hell ya" could be part of this dopamine addiction thing and therefore potentially dangerous - like, isn't the advice regarding that often, that we should not so much trust a "hell ya" and instead be also open for something, that might feel a bit boring instead (as to the lack of dopamine)?

    • @c.t.martin3915
      @c.t.martin3915 20 дней назад

      @@commecicommeca9944 I believe it to mean an "of course I absolutely want to be in a relationship with you" - a measured and true feeling of commitment.

    • @c.t.martin3915
      @c.t.martin3915 20 дней назад

      @@commecicommeca9944 What I mean by 'hell yea' is an absolute certainty, a measured commitment, to someone. A 'hell yea' is someone saying that they're sure they want to be in a relationship and being happy to be happy to be with you.

    • @commecicommeca9944
      @commecicommeca9944 20 дней назад

      @@c.t.martin3915 alright, I can work with that. Thank you for clarifying :)

  • @harjindersingh7124
    @harjindersingh7124 18 дней назад

    Nice and logical

  • @VikingLynn9
    @VikingLynn9 24 дня назад +1

    Thank you so much for this! I have a guy at work thats been doing this to me. Hanging out and acting like we may be something like a work boyfriend but cuts it off. Maybe you could talk about why guys hurt other women when they've been cheated on by an ex because supposedly he thinks all women are cheaters since an ex did this to him! He even told someone he's afraid to try with women over it. Thanks Francesca!

    • @fivebooks8498
      @fivebooks8498 22 дня назад

      I’m one of those guys. We are seeing women cheat everywhere. It’s gotten out of control. Dating apps and social media have given them too many options. What we have learned is that every woman cheats when the right guy and situation comes along. It’s just a matter time. We have researched the female nature and now know what we are dealing with. We don’t want it to be this way. In my case I really want to just be in love with a woman and stay with her. It’s just not possible anymore.

  • @kanak77779
    @kanak77779 25 дней назад +1

    If they give glimpse if that means they also feel like us

  • @sal2975
    @sal2975 24 дня назад +4

    That sounds dope. I mean.

  • @thilinasampath705
    @thilinasampath705 24 дня назад +2

    you make my dopamine to hike😮

  • @7575michael
    @7575michael 15 дней назад +1

    I disagree with the assumption that dopamine release is bad ... at the beginning of a relationship . In fact, it is completely normal to be anxious because if you are not , you are simply not in love ... The problem comes when both didn't experiment this dopamine effect because the relationship is one-sided.

  • @amitshridhar
    @amitshridhar 23 дня назад

    The Offspring - Hit That

  • @noirahkaternuk3152
    @noirahkaternuk3152 17 дней назад

    At my age and experience this is the gospel my friends ❤

  • @Dana_inc
    @Dana_inc 15 дней назад

    We all put things in our heads hopefully it can remain private! 391.

  • @startgame5033
    @startgame5033 23 дня назад

    Gud info

  • @Poodle_Gun
    @Poodle_Gun 24 дня назад

    What if you're obsessed with Snape in character ai?

  • @amitshridhar
    @amitshridhar 25 дней назад

    Jingle Punks - Atlanta

  • @sonalinagotra9326
    @sonalinagotra9326 16 дней назад

    I want to know that why do I struggle to love myself and focus on myself instead of always seeking love and affection from outside.

  • @ajitshivunplugged
    @ajitshivunplugged 24 дня назад +1

    Francesca,
    You yourself are too beautiful.
    Beautiful & wise.
    A deadly combination to give people dopamine highs. 😉

  • @TimothySmith73
    @TimothySmith73 24 дня назад +3

    @ Gambling machine. Lol. Funny.
    @ someone more stable.
    @ Got it. So I am back to square one. Dating No one.

  • @pharaohcaesar
    @pharaohcaesar 24 дня назад +1

    Well, I think you're gorgeous and very well infirmed!😀 Thank you for sharing this information. It is very useful to me to understand the type of strategies I need to employ to keep them addicted!😂
    You know, they say women never want what they say they want because when they get what they want they end up getting bored. So now you convinced me to give them what they really want which is to constantly addicted to me!😂

  • @Picasobaby
    @Picasobaby 20 дней назад

    Call me the mad scientist!

  • @psikologiwanita788
    @psikologiwanita788 21 день назад

    teory

  • @startgame5033
    @startgame5033 23 дня назад

    So it's playing hard to get

  • @mioyumi1354
    @mioyumi1354 25 дней назад

    Oh the Princess of Darkness is back. I was wondering when you'd embrace the dark side again. Lol!😂 Just kidding, but really it's useful, I'm too naive, so it helps us to open our eyes. Thank you dear.♡

  • @FatimaCoulibaly-qu1ie
    @FatimaCoulibaly-qu1ie 15 дней назад

    Dopamine

  • @amitshridhar
    @amitshridhar 25 дней назад

    🖤🖤🖤

  • @amitshridhar
    @amitshridhar 25 дней назад

    👐

  • @amitshridhar
    @amitshridhar 23 дня назад

    👌👌👌

  • @amitshridhar
    @amitshridhar 23 дня назад

    Aerosmith - Fly Away From Here

  • @ICHASE.
    @ICHASE. 23 дня назад

    ❤❤❤❤

  • @ICHASE.
    @ICHASE. 23 дня назад

    A girl i never dated used this strategy and now i feel awful

  • @ummumunshi8825
    @ummumunshi8825 23 дня назад

    745th like mine!

  • @TurbulantSynider
    @TurbulantSynider 24 дня назад +1

    Borderline does it so often. Sad. But they can't help it.

  • @amitshridhar
    @amitshridhar 23 дня назад

    🪽🪽🪽

  • @amitshridhar
    @amitshridhar 23 дня назад

    🏁🏁🏁

  • @sheriwl
    @sheriwl 18 дней назад

    But does this work on avoidants? Lol

  • @MermanManly
    @MermanManly 24 дня назад +1

    Love your hair in this video, but please consider getting a better microphone (or cover), because the sssssibilance hurts my ears.

  • @firstsecond98
    @firstsecond98 19 дней назад +1

    Its not useful, instead share how to train mind to come out of it

  • @DG123z
    @DG123z 20 дней назад

    Sex is a drug and people go through withdrawals

  • @hattabsleh6210
    @hattabsleh6210 22 дня назад

    The question is.. are these people doing this deliberately ? If yes they will have a special place in hell

  • @michaelmich00
    @michaelmich00 24 дня назад

    okay so just be a narcissist, easy, thanks, thats what women need

    • @sevothtartesama18
      @sevothtartesama18 23 дня назад +3

      Mature, stable women will dump you over this. Unstable women will stick around. So pick your battle I guess.

  • @fubufb420
    @fubufb420 17 дней назад

    Men only say theyre in LOVE to please the woman...
    😂😂😂😂