Exactly! Really good manipulators and abusers are very subtle, it’s hidden and insidious, because then when you even start to catch on it has so much plausible deniability baked in that you will question yourself..and duh, that’s the goal! If someone just calls you useless it will be much easier and quicker for you to see and leave 🤦🏻♀️
Actually, it’s not he’s calling her out because she made excuses she’s not that busy. She’d either still have been busy or should be too tired to be that happy and you’re excusing it because enabling that kind of behavior gives you a reason not to be a better person.
Not even close to gaslighting. Gaslighting is more like leaving the victim question their reality and what they did wrong, and when the victim tries to confront the abuser, he'll just avoid or deny he said that. Maybe if the clip had a follow-up like this and the abuser says "Wtf are you talking I never said" or "I never meant that it was just a joke" then it would be more accurate.
I still have ptsd from my narcissistic mother who would do this all the time. She gaslights everyone and doesn’t care about anyone’s feelings. She will make your life a living hell and know it’s her causing the hell but gaslight you so hard you are left thinking maybe she isn’t doing anything wrong and she really loves you
@@joshuafoubert8474 she will never change! Save yourself and leave her. Don’t even call her back or buy her presents. She probably won’t even appreciate them anyway. Run as far as you can from her. Life won’t get any easier for you if you stick around. She’ll manipulate you and try to make it out that everything in her life that went wrong is because of you. Believe me, I lived it for 36years with my mom. 😢I’m now in my 40’s. Still can’t get over that witch.
Gaslighting would be more you tell her not to cook dinner then when you get home yell at her for not cooking "But you said not to" "i never said that!"
Gaslighting is when they play dumb to make you question your reality. This is just being verbally abusive. Gaslighting is a lot more confusing and passive aggressive.
Her: Sorry. I'm so useless. I'm at work all day and didn't have time to cook you a 5 course gourmet meal. You deserve a proper wife who will work, make 6 figures, look like a supermodel, cook, clean, do your laundry, iron your shirts, carry your slippers for you. Let's get a divorce so you can find that perfect wife. 😂
That’s just straight up abuse. When you have a partner that is gaslighting you, it’s so subtle that you start questioning yourself because they turn everything on you. Gaslighters play the victim and no matter how you try to explain that they are in the wrong, they will argue in a circle until you feel like you’re crazy. It is usually slow and can go on for years because it’s so difficult to recognize.
Another example would be if she actually did promise him a 5 course meal, in front of a group of people that also chimed in on the conversation, he then comes ready to dig in and everyone apart of the initial conversation all relentlessly deny the conversation ever happened to begin with but they all know it did. That’s a more elaborate type of gaslighting but the purpose is to make the target question their sanity and reality.
Usually men like that learned from Their dads or they have underlying hate for women and maybe even themselves. They want to lower your self esteem so you never leave them and can continue to feel in control. A vicious cycle that rarely ever gets better. Once they’re done with you because you start putting up boundaries or once you leave they just look for the next supply/victim.
My ex husband was in the merchant navy on oil tankers. He'd be away months on end. When he returned home (to a spotless house) ,before even asking how I was, he would run his finger along our mantle piece, and check it for dust. Mind you, I saw him for what he was and asked him if he thought I was some kind of a retainer. This was the VERY least of his abuse. I won't depress everyone by listing his faults and abuse. Suffice to say, I left him within 3 years and 2 babies later. He's now a multi millionaire, but a sad and unloved by anyone old sod. Contacts me often from the other side of the world wanting to see me (as if! 😂). Whereas I'm certainly not wealthy, but I AM loved and needed, and know that people care about me for ME, not my money. I enjoy reminding him of what he lost. Revenge is best served cold 😊
Sounds like you were indeed the problem , if you know how a man likes things why not just do it to pls him , thats right because most of you women are selfish af.
Sounds similar to me... when my 2nd child was a baby and I was SAHM He came home and picked up the kettle to check for dust underneath and said "oh you've been cleaning all day? this says different" All while yelling it at me. I was heartbroken, my daughter stopped day naps real quick and I struggled as she cried alot and wanted to be fed alot and was just so demanding, complete opposite to my son yet I still kept the house beautiful and had cooked meals etc This was one of thousands of incidents.
Sounds like a perfectionist, or a mysophobic. Sometimes such people actually mean no harm. No matter what, if it makes you uncomfortable, leaving him is the right thing to do.
Gaslighting is when someone makes you think that your reality is a lie. They try to change the truth. Then they play like you’re crazy because you rather believe the truth.
Some guys does this and laugh and you say WHAT? The cowards say "I didnt say antyhing".Dont let them create WINGS cut them out QUICKLY and SHARPLY.Thats a real RED FLAG right there.
Literally just went through this. Even though I am fussed at for touching anything in his home. And if he misplaces anything it’s my fault and announcements are made saying “I’m not CRAZY! I know you do stuff! When I found out who somebody getting their ass beat” But in my home.. we’ll it’s ok to break everything, holler until the cops are called bc he’s saying things like he will “kill” me, I’ve never put him out my home however he enjoys pleasure in now throwing me out his home after conning me to come over and giving me a key. For this very reason , tonight 2am, myself and my to little a were thrown out like trash during a thunderstorm. I have ruined his life, I offer nothing, and I’m a bum. Despite the fact up until now he stayed with me rent free, took care of his kids when he felt like it, and despite whatever I’ve never called the police, and when the police come I never say anything that would get him in trouble bc I would never want to do that to him.
Please please dear sis, you HAVE to care more about your well being and that of your children than this low life man who has no right to abuse you and treat you like this. You are valuable in the sight of the Lord, but must reframe your focus on Him and seek Him to lead your path and give you an understanding of your identity and worth. From the bottom of my heart, I implore you to muster the courage to GET OUT and DONT LOOK BACK! This will end in total destruction…seek the Heavenly Father while He May be found and pray on your knees for His wisdom and help and He will hear from heaven.
It’s been four months. Please tell me you have moved on or at least held this man responsible for his actions. If not, I hope my comment is a reminder , just incase he love bombed you into staying, or you lost your strength. You deserve better and it’s not okay. ❤️🩹
Hello, ma'am. I read your comment, and I couldn't refrain from answering. I have gotten myself into a very similar situation as yourself, with a very abusive and manipulative deceptive man who treated me exactly like you' re describing, and more... He took pleasure of getting me to tears with severe bullying, gaslighting, and nervous breakdowns... I couldn't figure out what is wrong, and thought he was genuinely sorry every time, but his aggressive outbursts became unbearable. I found the strength to leave, even though feeling like a shell of my former self. And I hope you leave too... It is a not ok, you and me, we deserve better. They'll never change... Peace be with you, sister. I hope you get away from this dangerous man.
Just break up with them, calling them anything and there’s a whole ass term that says that’s not okay. Just BREAK UP if they are actually just straight up useless.
This was an AWESOME discussion. What does a man body count say about his morals, background, and decision making really stood out to me because women don't seem to ask this question. It has always been on my mind and should be on every woman's mind before sharing themselves with men. Because I consider this when it comes to me taking a man serious and respecting him.
My husband says i had a feeling this would happen when i tell him every day im going to be able to leave him one day bc of his abuse but he turns it around on me like im the villian for wanting to dump him😂
Ppl don’t get it 🙄 covert abusers will never be obvious ! Their goal is never so you can blatantly see or understand what is going on…calling someone useless is very obvious! They need to create plausible deniability baked into these interactions so they will make you FEEL useless in subtle ways and gestures etc but there will always be an “out” so that you will second guess yourself that you were over-reacting or misunderstood something…this is why this kind of abuse is insidious and takes years for someone to leave…calling ppl overt names and put downs I’m sure happens but I guarantee most ppl will be out the door or at the very least KNOW what’s going on and happening to them! 🤦🏻♀️
Gaslighting would be like “I thought you loved me? You know i love food so why wouldn’t you make it? I know you were busy all day but I thought you said i was the most important thing in your life? You’re such a liar.”
That's not gaslighting. What you're describing is manipulation, more precisely emotional blackmail. Gaslighting is also manipulation, but you wouldn't come out as strong. The gaslighter never fights. He always makes the victim get angry while he remains calm.
@@mimio008 Ding ding, emotional blackmail. Thank you - amazes me how many ppl in the world ohhh sooo INCORRECTLY assign personal drama/false examples“gaslighting” Muddying the waters & devalues how incredibly serious, harmful & traumatic gaslighting behavior is.
I didn’t see how it’s gaslighting but now I see it. She said she didn’t Make the food or whatever cause she FORGOT , then when he told her “I knew it would happen” and she asked “why”, he said “cause you’re USELESS”. He changed her words, and he invalidated the actual reason why she didn’t make the food.
What you're seeing here is like the LEVEL 50 of gaslighting and abuse. The LEVEL 1 was something like... :"I thought you said you're making something I love" :"But you love chicken right?" :"I never said that" :"Okay tell me what you'd like to eat. I'll make it in an hour" :"It's okay I just lost my appetite"
@@GyanAddict except this wasn’t a “demonstration,” because you are objectively incorrect. Telling an incorrect person they are incorrect isn’t gaslighting. If you don’t know what you’re talking about that’s fine, dude, just sit quietly.
@@V0idFace Again, thanks for your opinion. The way you're talking, with that arrogance, says a lot about your personality and IQ. There's a fine line between a discussion and just blabbing out words and calling others wrong without any explanation. So, kindly take your own advice. Dude.
@@GyanAddict except I’ve already explained. If a toddler says “one plus one is chickens” all I need to say is “no, it isn’t, that isn’t how numbers work.” Whether you think I should explain further is irrelevant. Again: you’re objectively wrong. Then, when called out for being objectively wrong you doubled down on your wrongness. I don’t think you want to talk about the intelligence of anyone else, son lmao
I’ve started recording my husband and in a few months I’m going to let him hear all the recordings…so he can hear how ugly he is to me…and how bipolar he sounds. So maybe he will go get some help. I’ve offered to go to counseling and even help him get help with his anger but he refuses so now everytime he starts having a tantrum…I just turn my recorder on and I’m saving them. This morning he had a meltdown because he left pens in his work uniform and they busted in the dryer. Guess who got up and cleaned the ink stained dryer and found the little baby a new uniform??? Yup me. All while being called an a**hole and my voice being made fun of. If I had the financial backing to leave I would but I don’t and honestly I want him to take anger management and work through this because it can be fixed…it’s just hard being treated this way and having to do this.
You absolutely don’t deserve this and I encourage you not to let this man destroy your self-worth or believe any lies spewing from his mouth. You must not expect anyone to change unless they themselves first acknowledge and recognize there’s a problem and seek to get help. He may never change and are you willing to live this abusing and tormenting life that your children are witnessing? I am in a similar boat and I’ll tell you this, enough is enough and financially being in a position to do what you must do for the protection and mental stability of your family , is of the utmost importance. You can do this girl! Find online opportunities, search for ways to build passive income and hustle to find a way out of that is what may need to happen. Above all else, pray and ask the King of Heaven (Yah) to guide and lead your footsteps and open the doors to help you. Trust and seek God as He is our only hope. I highly recommend this video: ruclips.net/video/IzaBiazHWIg/видео.html
Gaslighting is telling a person that they’re making things up in their head or not recalling an incident correctly to get them to doubt their own judgment and memory.
@@samuelmmmk181 No dear 1. Either agree on smth or divorce, u don't get to call ppl useless. 2. U don't know whether she is working too or not. 3. Then I guess she can call him useless too if he earns too little.
Gaslighting is when someone is invalidating /disregarding your real feelings,responses,or reactions to their or someone else’s bad behavior towards you.
I have a friend thats in an abusive relationship. Each time we meet, I tell her all the signs, everything she needs to know!!! And she won't leave. She won't change. Nothing is helping. I feel like all of our conversations are super repetitive at this point. And I feel like the 2nd victim in this story because each time she tells me new abusive stories, i feel mentally abused. It's like watching a friend self harm in front of your eyes, yet you can't do anything to help. At this point, im going to distance myself from this friendship because it's become painful to hear what she consciously puts herself through, and my own mental health is being harmed 😢
Gaslighting can look like this and it can look like gifts or gestures of love but none is sincere. Narcissist don’t have empathy so they don’t feel anything except for your energy! Self-Love LOVE GOD TRUST ❤❤
He coming in with sarcasm staring at the stove seeing nothing is there. But asking what was made for dinner. Not giving her eye contact but staring at the stove.
But here me out 😅..how many times has that man came home to hear "I totally forgot" a good man work hard he deserve a meal prepared when he get home. If he doin his part an you not your Useless 👀
I go to shower and try to wash - boiling water, I complained to outside person water is just warm. Me complaining about the heater scalding me while it being reduced to minimum
What if it was dirty dishes and a dirty home. And the husband works away for two weeks at a time. Supports his wife and children, but has to come home to a filthy house. So if he says after walking into the house, “ hmmm I already knew the sink would be full of dishes and the house filthy” and this hurts the woman’s feelings. This makes the man a Gaslighting abusive partner?
+option 1 “Im tryna see what you made for dinner” “you told me not to make dinner, that you were bringing some home” “No I thought you were making dinner” Later on…. *checks text to confirm he asked what she wanted for dinner earlier, after she asked how his day was going* +option 2 “My day was good, my coworkers and I were talking about how only useless women don’t cook dinner for their man today” “Oh, that’s interesting, I’ve been busy all day working too, my coworker and I-“ *he cuts in* “Let’s talk about it over dinner” “Where are you taking us out to dinner?” “I knew this would happen” “What?, you’re the one who brought it up.” “Yup, and this is what I was talking about” *leaves room without finishing conversation//gets on game//the phone and talks about you* = here I fixed it, choose your option
My mom and dad do this sometimes, it doesn’t look healthy for them. Me and my bf spend everyday together they don’t like it, this is the second time they have asked us to separate. If something isn’t broken why fix it? Why would you crave space away? I’d want to spend my entire life with this man, now they wanna take it away or control it? It’s not right.
That’s not gaslighting, it’s just insulting.
Fr
Right! I hope this dude isn't in mental health.
😂😂😂 so true
That's exactly what I said b 4 I saw your comment
And manipilation...
Gas lighting is way more subtle this is just straight up bullying
I don't know, I don't really think gaslighting is a thing, I think you're just trying to make me look stupid.
Fr
@@criticality8522that's gaslighting 😅
@TheMatrixofMeaning i don't think that's what it means, please stop manipulating me into thinking that's what it means
Exactly! Really good manipulators and abusers are very subtle, it’s hidden and insidious, because then when you even start to catch on it has so much plausible deniability baked in that you will question yourself..and duh, that’s the goal! If someone just calls you useless it will be much easier and quicker for you to see and leave 🤦🏻♀️
He’s gaslighting us with this video 😂💀
Haha I just wrote that before I saw this comment. Wit ftw!
Exactly lol
I think so too 😂😂
HONESTLY!!! lolllll!!!
😂😂😂
this isn’t gaslighting, this is just straight up degrading behavior.
Actually, it’s not he’s calling her out because she made excuses she’s not that busy. She’d either still have been busy or should be too tired to be that happy and you’re excusing it because enabling that kind of behavior gives you a reason not to be a better person.
@@renepcj4017you need help 😂
Naw he’s right .. hoes are to emotional got to be blunt and tell them .. otherwise they will tear you apart
Wrong it's the truth. She home and not doing Her job
@@natela_mk well if true then you need to be in a mental hospital for engaging with me
Somebody need to do some more homework on gaslighting
😂
A LOT more homework.
Yeah, this is just staight up devaluation. Gaslighting would be denying the devaluation ever occurred
Right. Anything for views. They just took a word and ran with it.
The content isn’t gaslighting but the entire post is…
Gaslighting is far more manipulative and less straightforward than this ‘by far’…
Not even close to gaslighting. Gaslighting is more like leaving the victim question their reality and what they did wrong, and when the victim tries to confront the abuser, he'll just avoid or deny he said that. Maybe if the clip had a follow-up like this and the abuser says "Wtf are you talking I never said" or "I never meant that it was just a joke" then it would be more accurate.
I still have ptsd from my narcissistic mother who would do this all the time. She gaslights everyone and doesn’t care about anyone’s feelings. She will make your life a living hell and know it’s her causing the hell but gaslight you so hard you are left thinking maybe she isn’t doing anything wrong and she really loves you
Busy all day lies and crap
@@joshuafoubert8474 she will never change! Save yourself and leave her. Don’t even call her back or buy her presents. She probably won’t even appreciate them anyway.
Run as far as you can from her. Life won’t get any easier for you if you stick around. She’ll manipulate you and try to make it out that everything in her life that went wrong is because of you. Believe me, I lived it for 36years with my mom. 😢I’m now in my 40’s. Still can’t get over that witch.
@@galaxyqueen8835i understand.... But sometimes she acts like she cares... Making tea & then usual stuff goes " u see, no one can be like mother... "
🎯
“You’re useless” is a wild statement to make 😂
Yeah that’s blatant. Gas lighting is much more subtle.
Exactly
That escalated quickly lol
Ong🤣🤣🤣
It jumped up a notch.
Gaslighting would be more you tell her not to cook dinner then when you get home yell at her for not cooking
"But you said not to" "i never said that!"
Exactly!! 💯 Perfect example.
Gaslighting is when they play dumb to make you question your reality. This is just being verbally abusive. Gaslighting is a lot more confusing and passive aggressive.
😢
That's not gaslighting. It's just abusive.
Insulting not abusive
abusive cause he called her useless lmfao
@@bananamawnyt6307yes verbal & emotional abuse.
@@TheSweetie223 if she called him useless is that abuse?
But gaslighting is abusive as well tho..
That's not gaslighting. Its bullying and verbal abuse with projection of negative labels onto other people!
Not that deep lol
Thats not abuse, you're just weak minded
Her: Sorry. I'm so useless. I'm at work all day and didn't have time to cook you a 5 course gourmet meal.
You deserve a proper wife who will work, make 6 figures, look like a supermodel, cook, clean, do your laundry, iron your shirts, carry your slippers for you.
Let's get a divorce so you can find that perfect wife. 😂
Now when did she say that?
REDRUM😈
This is an ideal answer for an abuser, after which you get out and leave forever...
That’s just straight up abuse. When you have a partner that is gaslighting you, it’s so subtle that you start questioning yourself because they turn everything on you. Gaslighters play the victim and no matter how you try to explain that they are in the wrong, they will argue in a circle until you feel like you’re crazy. It is usually slow and can go on for years because it’s so difficult to recognize.
This is not gaslighting. Please research what the definition really is. This is just verbally abusive.
Womp womp
babes, this isn't gaslighting... this is arson 💀
Gaslighting would be if he claims you had promise him a 5 course meal upon his return home and you never did. 😅
Another example would be if she actually did promise him a 5 course meal, in front of a group of people that also chimed in on the conversation, he then comes ready to dig in and everyone apart of the initial conversation all relentlessly deny the conversation ever happened to begin with but they all know it did. That’s a more elaborate type of gaslighting but the purpose is to make the target question their sanity and reality.
Usually men like that learned from
Their dads or they have underlying hate for women and maybe even themselves. They want to lower your self esteem so you never leave them and can continue to feel in control. A vicious cycle that rarely ever gets better. Once they’re done with you because you start putting up boundaries or once you leave they just look for the next supply/victim.
My ex husband was in the merchant navy on oil tankers. He'd be away months on end. When he returned home (to a spotless house) ,before even asking how I was, he would run his finger along our mantle piece, and check it for dust. Mind you, I saw him for what he was and asked him if he thought I was some kind of a retainer. This was the VERY least of his abuse. I won't depress everyone by listing his faults and abuse. Suffice to say, I left him within 3 years and 2 babies later. He's now a multi millionaire, but a sad and unloved by anyone old sod. Contacts me often from the other side of the world wanting to see me (as if! 😂). Whereas I'm certainly not wealthy, but I AM loved and needed, and know that people care about me for ME, not my money. I enjoy reminding him of what he lost. Revenge is best served cold 😊
Sounds like you were indeed the problem , if you know how a man likes things why not just do it to pls him , thats right because most of you women are selfish af.
What the worst did he do?...
Sounds similar to me... when my 2nd child was a baby and I was SAHM He came home and picked up the kettle to check for dust underneath and said "oh you've been cleaning all day? this says different" All while yelling it at me. I was heartbroken, my daughter stopped day naps real quick and I struggled as she cried alot and wanted to be fed alot and was just so demanding, complete opposite to my son yet I still kept the house beautiful and had cooked meals etc This was one of thousands of incidents.
Job well done….
Sounds like a perfectionist, or a mysophobic. Sometimes such people actually mean no harm. No matter what, if it makes you uncomfortable, leaving him is the right thing to do.
This isn’t gaslighting, he’s just insulting her. People throw around terms like gas lighting or narcissistic abuse before doing their homework.
“I’m useless?!”😂😂😂
Definitely abuse and not gaslighting.
That was literally straight to the point. I wish i had that honesty instead of wonder for the wasted years. With passive aggressive abuses.
There is a gas stove, that’s it.
That's when you heat up the grits, but those aren't for dinner 👀 😂.
Gaslighting is when someone makes you think that your reality is a lie. They try to change the truth. Then they play like you’re crazy because you rather believe the truth.
That’s not gaslighting. That’s flat out rude and disrespectful.
Don’t even question it. And certainly don’t laugh it off. The minute an insult comes out his mouth you simply tell him to leave.
Unfortunately in most circumstances she lives with him and can't leave or has no where to go lol. It's a sad ordeal but it happens
Spoken like a person who has never been gaslit 😂😂😂😂
This man is playing 4D chess trying to gaslight us into thinking this is gaslighting 😂
Some guys does this and laugh and you say WHAT? The cowards say "I didnt say antyhing".Dont let them create WINGS cut them out QUICKLY and SHARPLY.Thats a real RED FLAG right there.
It’s often waaaaay more subtle than that
This couple is unqualified to demonstrate this issue.
the way he keep lookin at that imaginary pot on the stove
I see a lot of folks don't know the actual definition of gaslighting.
Man…he’s about to lose a real one.
Literally just went through this. Even though I am fussed at for touching anything in his home. And if he misplaces anything it’s my fault and announcements are made saying “I’m not CRAZY! I know you do stuff! When I found out who somebody getting their ass beat” But in my home.. we’ll it’s ok to break everything, holler until the cops are called bc he’s saying things like he will “kill” me, I’ve never put him out my home however he enjoys pleasure in now throwing me out his home after conning me to come over and giving me a key. For this very reason , tonight 2am, myself and my to little a were thrown out like trash during a thunderstorm. I have ruined his life, I offer nothing, and I’m a bum. Despite the fact up until now he stayed with me rent free, took care of his kids when he felt like it, and despite whatever I’ve never called the police, and when the police come I never say anything that would get him in trouble bc I would never want to do that to him.
Please please dear sis, you HAVE to care more about your well being and that of your children than this low life man who has no right to abuse you and treat you like this. You are valuable in the sight of the Lord, but must reframe your focus on Him and seek Him to lead your path and give you an understanding of your identity and worth.
From the bottom of my heart, I implore you to muster the courage to GET OUT and DONT LOOK BACK! This will end in total destruction…seek the Heavenly Father while He May be found and pray on your knees for His wisdom and help and He will hear from heaven.
LEAVE HIM AND TAKE YOUR KIDS.
It’s been four months. Please tell me you have moved on or at least held this man responsible for his actions. If not, I hope my comment is a reminder , just incase he love bombed you into staying, or you lost your strength. You deserve better and it’s not okay. ❤️🩹
There really is no reason to stay with him. Not one. You can do this.
One day it will click and you’ll realize this, and you’ll leave.
Hello, ma'am. I read your comment, and I couldn't refrain from answering. I have gotten myself into a very similar situation as yourself, with a very abusive and manipulative deceptive man who treated me exactly like you' re describing, and more... He took pleasure of getting me to tears with severe bullying, gaslighting, and nervous breakdowns...
I couldn't figure out what is wrong, and thought he was genuinely sorry every time, but his aggressive outbursts became unbearable. I found the strength to leave, even though feeling like a shell of my former self. And I hope you leave too...
It is a not ok, you and me, we deserve better.
They'll never change...
Peace be with you, sister.
I hope you get away from this dangerous man.
Just break up with them, calling them anything and there’s a whole ass term that says that’s not okay. Just BREAK UP if they are actually just straight up useless.
😂right
It is so frustrating being apart of the culture that creates new meanings to already defined words. 😫
This is not gaslighting! It's insulting.
Gaslighting is making someone feel crazy, not verbal abuse like this video depicts
they won't say it directly. they will make you feel it.
Usually its the woman that would calling the man useless. Doesnt even sound natural comming from him. 😂
That's not gaslighting thats just straight up bullying
I think he’s letting u know how he feels lol🤧
Yes cuz if this is a repeated pattern she obviously doesn't respect her man foh talking bout gas lighting lol
LMFAAOOOO THE CUT OFF IM SO DEAD 🤣🤣🤣 “IM USELESS???😰”
It’s worse when they act like they are joking after they say it.
Somebody didn’t read the definition to gaslighting 😂
😂 Well damn. I would call my dad and tell him exactly what he said...before I respond 😅
This was an AWESOME discussion. What does a man body count say about his morals, background, and decision making really stood out to me because women don't seem to ask this question. It has always been on my mind and should be on every woman's mind before sharing themselves with men. Because I consider this when it comes to me taking a man serious and respecting him.
My husband says i had a feeling this would happen when i tell him every day im going to be able to leave him one day bc of his abuse but he turns it around on me like im the villian for wanting to dump him😂
That's not Gaslight that's just pure facts
hahahahahahha
Wow you're so edgy being sexist in the year 2023 wow the edge
OH SHIT
😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂
I thought he was about to communicate. He just crushed her🎉
Lmfaooo that’s not gas lighting that pure honesty 😂
Yknow what it’s actually really sweet that you guys can’t act this out realistically. Always remember to appreciate that.
“You’re useless” is not gaslighting, it’s a rude insult. Please delete this and make a correct video.
Ppl don’t get it 🙄 covert abusers will never be obvious ! Their goal is never so you can blatantly see or understand what is going on…calling someone useless is very obvious! They need to create plausible deniability baked into these interactions so they will make you FEEL useless in subtle ways and gestures etc but there will always be an “out” so that you will second guess yourself that you were over-reacting or misunderstood something…this is why this kind of abuse is insidious and takes years for someone to leave…calling ppl overt names and put downs I’m sure happens but I guarantee most ppl will be out the door or at the very least KNOW what’s going on and happening to them! 🤦🏻♀️
Gaslighting would be like “I thought you loved me? You know i love food so why wouldn’t you make it? I know you were busy all day but I thought you said i was the most important thing in your life? You’re such a liar.”
That's not gaslighting. What you're describing is manipulation, more precisely emotional blackmail.
Gaslighting is also manipulation, but you wouldn't come out as strong. The gaslighter never fights. He always makes the victim get angry while he remains calm.
@@mimio008 Ding ding, emotional blackmail. Thank you - amazes me how many ppl in the world ohhh sooo INCORRECTLY assign personal drama/false examples“gaslighting”
Muddying the waters & devalues how incredibly serious, harmful & traumatic gaslighting behavior is.
Change relationships to self esteem and thats what's I go through in a panic attack😂
This is not gazlighting, this is funny 😂😂😂
I didn’t see how it’s gaslighting but now I see it. She said she didn’t Make the food or whatever cause she FORGOT , then when he told her “I knew it would happen” and she asked “why”, he said “cause you’re USELESS”. He changed her words, and he invalidated the actual reason why she didn’t make the food.
What you're seeing here is like the LEVEL 50 of gaslighting and abuse. The LEVEL 1 was something like...
:"I thought you said you're making something I love"
:"But you love chicken right?"
:"I never said that"
:"Okay tell me what you'd like to eat. I'll make it in an hour"
:"It's okay I just lost my appetite"
Nope, this isn’t any level of gaslighting…because this isn’t gaslighting.
@@V0idFace Thanks for the demonstration.
@@GyanAddict except this wasn’t a “demonstration,” because you are objectively incorrect.
Telling an incorrect person they are incorrect isn’t gaslighting. If you don’t know what you’re talking about that’s fine, dude, just sit quietly.
@@V0idFace Again, thanks for your opinion. The way you're talking, with that arrogance, says a lot about your personality and IQ. There's a fine line between a discussion and just blabbing out words and calling others wrong without any explanation. So, kindly take your own advice. Dude.
@@GyanAddict except I’ve already explained. If a toddler says “one plus one is chickens” all I need to say is “no, it isn’t, that isn’t how numbers work.” Whether you think I should explain further is irrelevant.
Again: you’re objectively wrong. Then, when called out for being objectively wrong you doubled down on your wrongness.
I don’t think you want to talk about the intelligence of anyone else, son lmao
That took me off guard 😂
‘Because you’re useless’ lmao
I’ve started recording my husband and in a few months I’m going to let him hear all the recordings…so he can hear how ugly he is to me…and how bipolar he sounds. So maybe he will go get some help. I’ve offered to go to counseling and even help him get help with his anger but he refuses so now everytime he starts having a tantrum…I just turn my recorder on and I’m saving them. This morning he had a meltdown because he left pens in his work uniform and they busted in the dryer. Guess who got up and cleaned the ink stained dryer and found the little baby a new uniform??? Yup me. All while being called an a**hole and my voice being made fun of. If I had the financial backing to leave I would but I don’t and honestly I want him to take anger management and work through this because it can be fixed…it’s just hard being treated this way and having to do this.
You absolutely don’t deserve this and I encourage you not to let this man destroy your self-worth or believe any lies spewing from his mouth. You must not expect anyone to change unless they themselves first acknowledge and recognize there’s a problem and seek to get help.
He may never change and are you willing to live this abusing and tormenting life that your children are witnessing? I am in a similar boat and I’ll tell you this, enough is enough and financially being in a position to do what you must do for the protection and mental stability of your family , is of the utmost importance. You can do this girl! Find online opportunities, search for ways to build passive income and hustle to find a way out of that is what may need to happen. Above all else, pray and ask the King of Heaven (Yah) to guide and lead your footsteps and open the doors to help you. Trust and seek God as He is our only hope.
I highly recommend this video: ruclips.net/video/IzaBiazHWIg/видео.html
Sounds like a narcissist
Don't be surprised, he will probably still deny. Recordings aren't going to help sadly.
This is called " Countering", a type of gaslighting
Wrong, this isn’t gaslighting at all.
Gaslighting is telling a person that they’re making things up in their head or not recalling an incident correctly to get them to doubt their own judgment and memory.
That's NOT gaslighting. That's verbal abuse.
Bruh no one's going to say their partner is useless unless this happened regularly 😐
Unless what happened regularly?
@@someone3195 Having to work and come home and do the household stuff too. Whoever stays home all day and doesn't work should look after the house.
@@samuelmmmk181 No dear
1. Either agree on smth or divorce, u don't get to call ppl useless.
2. U don't know whether she is working too or not.
3. Then I guess she can call him useless too if he earns too little.
@@someone3195 everything you just said was wrong, and you also completely misrepresented and missed their point. Fail.
@@V0idFace Sjsjs why dear? Care to explain?😂
Can't call a man useless when he earns too little? Why not?
If she stays home all day and he works...the least she can do is have dinner ready when he gets home. He wasn't gas lighting...he was being honest.
WE WOULD BE DONE THERE IS NO COMING BACK FROM THAT!!!
Gaslighting is when someone is invalidating /disregarding your real feelings,responses,or reactions to their or someone else’s bad behavior towards you.
Gaslighting would be denying he ever said that when faced with the consequences
"i'm useless?"
* punches him in the face *
He better be paying 100% of your expenses girl if he's asking for cooking.
I have a friend thats in an abusive relationship. Each time we meet, I tell her all the signs, everything she needs to know!!! And she won't leave. She won't change. Nothing is helping. I feel like all of our conversations are super repetitive at this point. And I feel like the 2nd victim in this story because each time she tells me new abusive stories, i feel mentally abused. It's like watching a friend self harm in front of your eyes, yet you can't do anything to help. At this point, im going to distance myself from this friendship because it's become painful to hear what she consciously puts herself through, and my own mental health is being harmed 😢
To these experts commentators below me, he pays the bills she’s home all day, can’t even make food for him?
Gaslighting can look like this and it can look like gifts or gestures of love but none is sincere. Narcissist don’t have empathy so they don’t feel anything except for your energy! Self-Love LOVE GOD TRUST ❤❤
He coming in with sarcasm staring at the stove seeing nothing is there. But asking what was made for dinner. Not giving her eye contact but staring at the stove.
I might be useless, but at least I'm not hungry.
He’s useless for not taking his girl out to Dinner!
But here me out 😅..how many times has that man came home to hear "I totally forgot" a good man work hard he deserve a meal prepared when he get home. If he doin his part an you not your Useless 👀
I go to shower and try to wash - boiling water, I complained to outside person water is just warm. Me complaining about the heater scalding me while it being reduced to minimum
What if it was dirty dishes and a dirty home. And the husband works away for two weeks at a time. Supports his wife and children, but has to come home to a filthy house. So if he says after walking into the house, “ hmmm I already knew the sink would be full of dishes and the house filthy” and this hurts the woman’s feelings. This makes the man a Gaslighting abusive partner?
Ladies...RUN! ✌🏿
Gaslighting is using like this at times but it is more subtle. It’s making you believe you are not good enough and lowers your self worth over time.
Then when you get mad they called you useless all the sudden youre the bad guy
Nah that was pretty straight forward.
That’s not gaslighting at all that’s him devaluing u
This was my marriage but it felt more like verbal and emotional abuse.
She has no consideration for being together. Find a Passport Wife. Leave her.
No a passport hookup that cook clean stfu
Lol
My ex refused to eat my cooking, I would love a man that eats my cooking. He ate McDonald's every day
+option 1 “Im tryna see what you made for dinner”
“you told me not to make dinner, that you were bringing some home”
“No I thought you were making dinner”
Later on….
*checks text to confirm he asked what she wanted for dinner earlier, after she asked how his day was going*
+option 2
“My day was good, my coworkers and I were talking about how only useless women don’t cook dinner for their man today”
“Oh, that’s interesting, I’ve been busy all day working too, my coworker and I-“
*he cuts in*
“Let’s talk about it over dinner”
“Where are you taking us out to dinner?”
“I knew this would happen”
“What?, you’re the one who brought it up.”
“Yup, and this is what I was talking about”
*leaves room without finishing conversation//gets on game//the phone and talks about you*
= here I fixed it, choose your option
With Gaslighting you don't know you're being insulted until you've had a chance to process what was said or done
To be fair, if you're sitting there all day. And he's out working . You are useless not to have dinner for him
The most sinister type of gaslighting is much more subtle than this.
"I was busy all day" - she's definitely gaslighting
Holy smokes… wow. I’m not usually attracted to choco-ladies but this one is 🔥
My mom and dad do this sometimes, it doesn’t look healthy for them. Me and my bf spend everyday together they don’t like it, this is the second time they have asked us to separate. If something isn’t broken why fix it? Why would you crave space away? I’d want to spend my entire life with this man, now they wanna take it away or control it? It’s not right.
Last part was the inner thoughts should of been expressed through a caption over his head