I am so pleased that this video keeps hitting the spot for many people. Please do hit that like button and subscribe as there very well may be other videos of mine that will do the same. D
i really needed to hear this, and it touched me on a personal level. i couldn’t help but get emotional because your voice is so comforting. t’s incredibly soothing. just subscribed, and i'm so glad i found your channel. 💗
I had a terrible heartbreaking breakup 6 months back and this video keeps popping up in my feed i just didn’t had it in me to open it until now when i searched it and heard what I should’ve heard back then😭😩
But far too many in relationships of any kind do control all aspects of their partner's life - including decisions they make. They do not seem to be hurt by this as it is usually their aim. D
My situation isn’t a partner but relationship with my daughter sadly It was never like this but after her dad left us in 2006 Cracks started appearing (I prayed from first night we were in own for LOVE to be in me no bitterness as it would destroy me & my daughter , I have had people come in from then some short periods females helping some longer and few who have remained to this day and always been THANKFUL 🙏🩷🙏 As with out Universe God and ones who helped I wouldn’t be here today . But our children know which bottoms to press that unsettle us We’ve had periods of wonderful times but I always swear of changed mood in my daughter now has been in relationship 15 years grandchild light of my life 9-yr’s But it’s come again cracks Cannot talk with her about she shouts and says we can can’t spk but I haven’t raised my voice spoke quirky as we were walking outside told go away she wasn’t going awalk with me And began walking faster I couldn’t keep up Shouting as she was going she didn’t want anything to do with me I turned and went home this happened past Wednesday this wk . Now told I can only see my grand daughter twice amonth I’m a American have lived in uk over half my life Called spoke to my brother in Twincitys he said why do want to stay there You’ve put up with periods of this for past 16 years And sad should move back to the states . It isn’t that easy I’m a pensioner that’s all I have There’s so much to consider mainly cost There’s family two sets friends I’ve kept close to over years These I would have near me family friends who love & care about me 🙏 No more holidays alone (There have been erratic x.mases togetger but only afternoon home early I was greatful to be included but rest the x.mas season no inclusion ) One year went to friends don’t get me wrong I was so touched but hard to explain felt even worse Some x.mases helped at Homeless center by me . My brother has close relantionship with his kids & partner of over twenty years gets along with has them over and his ex wife all at holiday times plus the three of them attend events sometimes . He says I’d have them all around me . I have three sets very good friends here only spoke with one of what’s happened Meeting up one today and third one Saturday Unsure of spking rgds this till I find out if it’ll work out financially Pardon my rambling but wanted to say it’s not a partner but my situation with my daughter . Has anyone similar problem ? If so how have you handled it ? I would be grateful to hear 🙏🩷🙏
@@Cheshirelassthis was my experience, and he was sadistic. I had to change things because it was harming our children, not just me. It was very dangerous leaving and he character assassinated me to everyone with all his lies, including some of my own family, my little sisters. He lovebombed them too when we lived closer at the start. He is a very believable LIAR. I had an evil aunt do that to me prior for financial reasons. I was an impediment to her greed.
I heard the rain I heard a lovely accent I heard poignant lessons I heard it's up to me I heard I can choose I heard myself loving me I heard you Thanks ❤
I am a conqueror I am a child of God I am Blessed I am walking in my purpose I am who he created me to be Just let me be who i am. I am happy for you I am glad you have a choice I am me and I do have a voice I am loved by the one above I am kind I am going to let this light shine We are the branches and he is our vine!!
@@the1972bulldogI appreciate her as well this is a beautiful I understand it was somebody else but forget to share it with us is a blessing and is needed in this time God bless you! 😊
The algorithms are just getting more personal and adjustable to you. People have similar problems and you going thru them almost every day so the fact you come across videos all the time coincidentally makes sense and is the same for me
old people giving advice on youtube and social media is what this world needs edit: i didn't expect this comment to blow up so before anyone else comments that calling someone "old" is disrespectful; i really don't believe growing old should be seen as something negative or that there is more worth inyoung people. if you don't agree with that, that's okay. now gonna take this lady's advice, and let y'all comment what you want
just yesterday i saw my ex for the first time since we broke up while on exchange after 4 months… my head was doing ok until that point, and now its all spinning again. youtube always covers me
for whoever needs to hear this: my mom always told me “you were fine before them, you’ll be fine after them” edit: it was my grandmother who told my mom those words when she would struggle w breakups, then my mom would tell me🖤
@@JronDon854 Well languages are weird sometime , weird rules, weird pronounciations ... Beside that point , I feel like "lose" and "loose" can both work in this context because it can be the contrary of "contained" (by looking at some definitions), so pretty much you could say this quote could means that you do not need to contain those peoples in your life, you should always let them go away from you . Idk I think it fit well x) .
CRYING SO HARD AT THAT PART WHEN SHE SAID LET THEM" MULTIPLE TIMES. It is worth it though because letting them is being free. "LET THEM" it must be a tattoo. Two words engraved in my brain. To make me realize it is outside my control. And if it's outside our control why don't we feel freedom out of it? LET THEM.
This is sweet. I’d be your grandma if I could. I had an older woman as a mentor when I was young woman and mom. I loved her so much. I also had my mother who was my best friend. Now my daughter is my best friend.
I literally just woke up today at the age of 34 and said this to myself! I'm just going to accept what life give me and be happy with it and stop having so many expectations.
This is why I was going through a difficult time when a person in my past suddenly called me wanting to connect just because. I let them in, and showed them that my heart was not hardened. They hurt me yet again. I let them…. But I also let them leave again when they chose to disrespect my boundaries. Part of me thinks I won’t let them in again, but I hope that one day they may come back and I want to let them love me. After all, I’m strong enough to love them, forgive them, and pray for them
I broke out in tears listening to the poem, because it made me realize that growing up with a big loving family made me feel like I was rich indeed. Now after several years, my family has been torn apart since Covid, and the people I still love - no longer love each other. No more family gatherings during the holidays, no more Christmas cheer at my grandmas house. Those will be my most cherished memories. True wealth is in the family. All the money in the world won’t bring my family back because they don’t have love for one another. So, where there is love - there is hope. When there is no love, it’s tragic.
I really needed this. And it’s so fantastic to see something intelligent, useful and heartwarming without snark on social media. This is the only thing I’ve seen all day that was worth watching, and I love it ❤❤
True but unfortunately ultimately u have to let them because they leave u with no other choice . So then it becomes a question of saving yourself . Sad but true !
@@monikapv10 Lol, you always have a choice in this universe. Consequences will follow that choice, but you can always tell someone to Fuck off. Try it on me :P
@@falguni.bonaparte That’s terrifying, but makes complete sense 😭, like one time I was randomly talking to my friend about going on holiday to Norway and then when I opened TikTok later that day the first video was about travelling there, it’s quite scary really.
@@mem8516 its easy to bring your past hurts to new people. you build your walls, and thus block out connection. be aware of this. dont let your past hurts keep power over you. dont be scared to show people your unhurt self. dont be scared to show people that you wont stand by as they hurt you. I hope youre young. If you are, you have a lot to learn, and you will - so long as you never forget to love yourself. and never forget to love others.
In a 4 year relationship that has been nothing but me fighting for his loyalty and love. This is making me cry because i know this is the message i needed to see.
But remember you don’t have to be what they are showing u of u don’t want to be You have the choice to choose…. Your life is your life …. If they choose the life they have …. No1 has the right not force u to have the life they choose for themselves I learnt to always be truthful to myself ….. I was fine when they won’t in my life and I will be fine when they won’t be Never allow someone to over hurt u for there ego
I've lost a few friends, sometimes because of me, sometimes because of them, sometimes because of both of us. This was my first thought. All of my flaws and mistakes in each friendship came to the forefront of my mind as she ran down the list of things to let "them" do. I realized I'm just as much "them" as they are. It makes me feel less like a villain, and more like a human. Great comment.
Don't think you will be alone with that. Probably as many would love that to be the way - but as part of a genuine, balanced relationship - no matter what variety. D
I'm sorry you're so alone right now. Please know your Heavenly Father is only a prayer away. He's always there for us and wants us to talk to him about everything. His Son, Jesus Christ is always there too and understands perfectly all our pain and sorrow because he took it all upon him, not just our sins. I love this scripture from John 14:18 "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you." He has helped me and comforted me through the darkest nights.🙌🙏❤ @@Twinkiepie52
@@Twinkiepie52 I am so sorry to hear that. Wishing you all the very best. Treat yourself with kindness, enjoy and be grateful for the small things in life...that's how I get through, but I also speak with God Almighty and He strengthens and comforts me. ❤
I'm try to be understanding and remembering when I was younger and I was too busy to be there for my parents and grandparents, especially grandparents because they lived a distance away. Looking back, I feel bad and wish I reached out more...but I did love them deeply and still think of them almost daily. Tried being there for my parents when they got older and needed me more....as much as time would permit with me working full time and them living a bit of a distance as well. This video helps me accept what is and be content with my life at 82 and be grateful and not unhappy about how other people don't seem interested in me. Thank you 🙂
@@rise9666 listening to this all I could do is cry, it still very raw to me when my husband of 10 years cheated and abandoned us for his mistress without any care or proper closure. He just left abruptly and told me that he’s in love with a woman he met at work
@@untamedheart6820 I can't imagine how painful that had to be... I hope your heart never hardened, and please spread love for the worthy And especially for yourself ❤️🔥
I was a people pleaser for as long as I remember. It made me miserable and anxious, as I got used to putting other people first. Recently I had enough, and realized my worth. Others were not happy with me setting up boundaries, considered me mean,just because they were not used to me standing up for myself. I needed to hear this. Thank you. ❤
Also, if you feel everything is crashing and your peace has been disturbed, look after yourself in this order: 1) physical body: drink water, eat properly, shower, put on clean pjs, and sleep at least 8 hours 2) mind: detach from social media, other media, ads, apps, and toxic people (this can include family members and significant others) 3) spirit: be true to yourself and be kind to yourself and others. Try to be near nature and the sea or at least have plants, flowers, water around. Follow the Truth. 4) Do something creative whether painting, writing, making something (crafts, baking, carpentry, etc) 5) listen to calm or upbeat music with no shouting or swear words in it!
Please can I say a huge thank you to everyone who has subscribed, liked and especially taken the time to comment on this piece and to support other folk. That is how life should be as far as I am concerned. It really means so very much to me and I hope that your visit isn't just a fleeting one. I have currently replied to every message but am closing for the night as my eyes are a step ahead of me and are half closed already. Thank you again - I have a feeling that when my cat leapt onto my keyboard and that I lost a message. Apologies - he likes to help! Dee xx
Lol, I love the kitties. All 4 of mine could be off into different areas of the house when I'm sitting on the couch, having my quiet time. But as soon as I Crack open my Bible or another book, or get on my tablet, one of them will come up and plop itself right on top of it! It's a cat thing lol
Ty Ty Ty I replayed twice then again as each time tears engulfed me Its morning and I just switched on your site it was first thing I saw the TITLE caught my attention That I tapped to listen going through a situation difficult Tapped like & subscribed Appreciate greatly what you shared 🙏🩷🙏
I come back to this video often. I struggle with letting go and letting people choose me. I often think that if I love them enough and show them that I am worth it that they will love me the way I deserve to be loved. Sitting still and doing nothing and letting them show me who they are is so difficult for me. Like you said Dee, it is a loss of control. Thank you for these words and you're gentle spirit and approach. Today I came back to this again after numerous times but it hit me in a different and new way. What a lovely resource you have given us.
Control is such a dangerous action. It produces anxiety fear and a multitude of emotions. Dont ever try to control someone else. Just take care of yourself with gratitude and authenticity
I learnt to let go of family members a few years ago. They are definitely not the people I thought they were. As I always say "you do you and I'll do me"
I have (still) suffered from PTSD and bipolar disorder type 2. I can make it easier by blaming my narcissist and violent dad for it, my years of being bullied and isolated at school, and my unsupportive mother out of it. but oh well, listening to your wise gives me courage to face the deepest fear, which is abandonment. Thank you!
My narcissist abusive brother who never knew me, seriously misunderstands me, and very heavily emotionally and verbally abused me as a little girl to adult… someone whom I never had a relationship with… I told him goodbye. I was no contact for years and now I’m reminded after a toxic text exchange riddling with meddling, gaslighting, patronizing, manipulation and blaming. I suffered the worst anxiety attack and stress. I have serious heart disease and my mental health. So I told him the truth about what I really thought and felt about him. I said you never deserved to have me as your sister, you were always a very bad brother and abusive to me from when I was a little girl to adult. That gaslighting me repeatedly isn’t going to work. And that I’m not going to allow this kind of toxicity back in my life and soul ever again. And to do not contact me ever again. GOODBYE. Sometimes I feel bad and sad about if but then I remember my history of my abusive brother. And how bad that anxiety attack was for me. And then I realize this is for the best and for my own good. Besides he wasn’t never in my life before. I’ll be fine after.
it is scary how youtube knows when things are falling apart in my life and what situation im in without needing to explain..but i guess im here. thank you miss dee..
I had to disconnect with my sister because she has no respect or empathy for anyone. She lost her control in front of me and I saw her real self, which was full of rage, contempt, jealousy and basically a toddlers tantrum. It was so frightening and unexpected that I knew I had to cut the cord to protect myself from ongoing hurt. I don't regret doing this but it has affected our family dynamics and they are all walking on egg shells around her. I'm never doing this again. Jo.😊
She might be a narcissist, i just realized my sibling is a narc , conversations with him leave me feeling like complete trash it's like emotional terrorism. I've decided to finally distance myself. @@jomassey4207
The vagaries of YT. I have no idea why this has happened, but wish that I did - it is I believe the first time. Do look after yourself and don't heap lots of blame on yourself. Take care. D
Universal Law of Attraction. You attract what you need. It works with social media because the law consists in social/human networks and electronics does not hinder our needs and can facilitate or meet our needs as need arises. Believe it, accept it, use it. This is age of Aquarius ♒️ new ways of being is here. We are learning about ourselves who are energy beings in physical bodies emitting frequency that matches the earth. Social media n electricity are also energy, everything has energy. The earth frequency is rising causing people's frequency to match her. To match her frequency we are forced to understand energy and spiritual things where the new earth frequency is moving all humans towards. Good things to come✨️ Knowledge of Self💫 Self-Care💚 Courage✊🏾
My ex gave me very poor contact and communication. It would infuriate me and made me want him harder and chase him until I became so ill I lost my mind. Then I read a lot into going zero contact. Decided to let him... I broke off all contact. It was painful. But something interesting happened. The tables turned completely. He started chasing me, started getting agressive to try and communicate with me, started getting desperate. For years... Because I never contacted him again. He is still stalking me here and there. He is not over me, I know it, and I dont care anymore. i found someone who truely loves me and I am so glad I did this. I finally found self respect.
I'm going through the exact same thing right now, for the past year and a half I've been dealing with defensiveness and lack of communication that have made me anxious and depressed. I should have left the first time I told him we should break up after 3 months together due to his lack of consistency and nonchalant attitude. I gave it another shot only for it to get worse, as well as my mental health slowly degrading. Brought me to want to break up again 6 months ago but he said "we'll be fine" with no change until today...I decided I no longer want to give my all to someone who shows no care and consideration towards me, someone who never prioritizes me and refuses to have proper conversations and meet my emotional needs. I hope he won't start chasing me, but knowing how big his ego is he probably won't. I just want to heal and be happy again..
I have in many cases, Let them GO. Many, many people will use you if they can, dont let them. Chose your friends wisely. It is a good world out there. Life is short, enjoy yourself.
At 75, I have realised the wisdom behind Let them theory. I have achieved a total peace in my heart. It does work, but it requires you to let go of all the hurt and pain.
@@cocoa3900 sorry to know about your hurt. I would like you to ask yourself these questions. ‘Does anyone care about my hurt? What do I gain by holding onto this pain and hurt?’ I can imagine what your answers will be. You know that you are only hurting yourself by holding onto those feelings, and isn’t it time to let bygones be bygones, so you can feel at peace to enjoy the rest of your life? It won’t be easy, but you will understand yourself better by letting go off your hurt, forgiving those who hurt you. We would be saints if we could forget all about it, but forgiveness brings us peace. It is worth it, because we are worthy of having peace and happiness in our hearts.
I am almost 54 and have zero actual real friends. A handful of acquaintances. No more family ties. I want the kind of friend that I am (have been) to others. I don't think that's too much to ask. I also believe in meeting people where they are, and I do but when they either start to take more and more or just show up only when they are in need, I'm out. Over time, people show who they really are, and I am choosing not to settle. I'd rather spend time alone, with my best cat, my books, the outdoors, great movies, my plants and so on. I am always open to real friends; they just seem to not exist in my realm at the moment. I'm okay with that.
Jennifer - if you are ok with being alone, as many of us are, until you find friends who remain friends, have you thought of joining a club - maybe crafting, gardening, walking - whatever you fancy. You would then be meeting people with similar interests. You do say in my realm 'at the moment' - so maybe the time just hasn't been right for you to meet with people with whom you gel. Until then, do join us on our video walks to lovely places in nature, places of interest. We'd love to have you along. Take care. D
@@Cheshirelass I have considered that but haven't dipped my toes into meeting up with other groups of interest yet. Maybe someday! I'll check out the walking videos.... thank you, Dee!
I’m the same age and have moved from Australia to Italy. I am with my Mum and her little dog. I don’t have friends. I know many people and my family are not available. I am not unhappy. It was very easy to make this decision. I can only take one day at a time and teach myself to LET THEM.
Most people can't comprehend how powerful this really is, because many people are conditioned to act out of emotions regarding other people's actions in a vain attempt to "control" them(which usually doesn't happen). When you let others do what they do, it deprives them of any possible desired reaction from you, and they are often left puzzled instead of satisfied they got a reaction from you. This is the way to deal with negative & confusing behavior.
It quite the smart person who can see their own ego and decipher the feelings and actions they would normally take. It is wonderful to let them be. I often pray for them to heal and be happy. Doesn't mean they don't piss you off 🤣 You just get to figure out WHY it bothers you 👍
My mum always told me “they’ll need you before you need them.” It’s true! Everyone that’s turned their back on me or thought they found new, more fun friends to spend time with and left me by the road side, they’ve always come running back to me in a crisis. Their true and dependable friend. Now I’ve learned to keep the door closed to the fair-weather friends. Mum was right. She usually is.
Nowadays some young people say age is just a number and they are shamelessly having affairs with older cougars who are old enough to be even their grandparents
"they have to EARN a place back to your life, otherwise it will be very quickly back to as was same old." Thank you for the reminder, I listened to this couple times.
When I estabilshed my boundaries, I lost my best friend. She called me selfish and I spent a long time thinking about it. Now I look back and I see how naive I was for letting her surpass my boundaries. I miss her, but I do not miss having no limits. I'm way happier now, after all the changes I had to make in my life to see who really cared about me.
Absolutely - it's when agendas creep in that even things are a problem - and then even what once seemed to be a true love sadly can change. Take care. D
Where was Judas free will when he betrayed Jesus? Was it not spoken of by David thousands of years before Judas was born? Did not Christ tell Satan to go into Judas and to do what he does quickly. Did not God choose between Jacob and Esau before the 2 boys were born who he would love and who He would hate. There is nothing the 2 could of done to change their fate. How do the spirits of divination that mediums call upon know what's going to happen in your life before it happens? Because our lives are predestined and predetermined just as those God redeemed where foreknown before the foundation of the world. (Ephesians 1:4) (Ephesians 1:11) (Roman's 8:29-30) Free will is a myth.
Hundred percent correct 💯 Love is about freedom, giving each other freedom and letting each other be themselves. And loving each other for who they are.
@BibleBound333 prophecy doesn't mean forced will, it means knowing what that person's will will be like. God already knew the end from the beginning and the choices we would make and who we would be.
I think the rain was a perfect backround. Rain is for cleansing and washing away the energy that no longer serves us. This video came at the perfect time. Thank you.
One whole year without him and the thought of him never leaves my brain, every single day for a year I've woken up to his thought, went to sleep with his thought and it hurts more and more each day, thank you so much for this if he chooses to live his life without me so i should let him do so
Unfortunately, we have no control how others feel about us, their thoughts and the consequences of these thoughts. You can control your thoughts. You say that the thought of him never leaves your brain.... yes, you may think about him through the day, but you are spinning it in your mind to him being there all of the time. Focus on the times when he isn't. That way you will be able to begin to live your life in a much more balanced way. If you find it too hard to do, maybe consider seeking therapeutic support. Do take care D.
And this is why I have no friends. I far prefer to have none than surround myself with a bunch of fake narcissists. Took me a long time to realize that. But it's been one of the greatest lessons of my life
There is a great belief that we should be surrounded by lots of 'friends'. For some maybe, whilst for others they are happy with their own company. If you feel like a bit of company from an old girl - do check out my playlists on which I take you out to lovely places and natter away. Take care Emily. D
And ya know what? I think that's cool af,i might get that as a last tat in my life turning 50 next month,and either i'm letting her go or she proves she's worth another 30 years we shall see. But great idea!!!
I am going through the hardest breakup of my life. I feel I have been thrown to the wolves after years of love, devotion, bonding and commitment. He was my best friend and the love i planned to spend my entire life by. After broken promises of forever my heart is shattered. I needed this video today. Thank you sweetheart.
just went through a break up last night, she told me she had feelings for someone else, 6 months of my life down the srain, i felt so betrayed, still trying to understand everything, and this video really helped thanks.
This was such a great reminder of “love me or leave me” type energy. Really just allowing yourself to be true to you. And “let them” see how soft your heart still is despite the mistreatment.
Me too, I’m crying right now trying to deal with my girlfriend breaking up with me. Your comment likes are at 111. Bringing me back to my spiritual phase I had a couple years back. I would constantly see reoccurring numbers all day long and I was tapped in to source of the universe. I need to get back into it more. :(
Suddenly I'm 7 again in the greenhouse listening to the grandmother I never had telling me one of the most important lessons of my life and this will always be a blurry memory save for a few specific sentences and I'll always have a love of rain and plants leftover.
Yes! No annoying screaming, no long introductions, no promotions of something I don't need, just straight to the point. And her speech is so calm, so comforting, because there's no need to rush anywhere, she just wants to leave a genuine advise to future generations.
Wow...I am a 34 year old male firefighter and I am absolutely bawling right now. Going through a tough breakup and this felt like you were talking directly to me. I took all of them blame for everything and didn't even think about it...I always find it hard to advocate for myself and set boundaries, this was very impactful. Thank you for your words
It is amazing how Dee’s videos, especially this one, have resonated with so many people across the world. You will make it through. One day at a time. Dee has helped me so much too. Take good care of yourself. 💕
@johnstokes9771 - Those boundaries are important - am sure you have very strict boundaries as a firefighter - so you are used to working with them professionally. Decide what you want to happen/not to happen.. then the best way to stop it happening and then set your boundary according to this... and enforce it! Please stop shouldering all of the blame - as they say, it takes two to tango. OK - we all have to face up to the fact that we could have done things differently/better - don't beat yourself up about this - rather, learn from it. Thank you so much for subscribing - even though I made you cry. I am a great advocate of tears - but that's a long story! Take care D
Maybe it's time for you to set your eyes look forward to your heart and ask some very specific questions : *How I enter in a relationship, is it me who chose the other person or the other chose me? *Why I want to be with this person, makes me better person, makes me happy or he / she has something that lacks from me and it challenges me? *Before I connect with this person was able to be happy and feel full filled on my own or was expecting someone to make it for me? *During this relationship did I have the self confidence to ask for things I wanted or refuse things I didn't? *Do I tend to give more to others with a bad impact to my personal esteem and nutrition? *Do I give so many to others in order to get prized as a very good person? *Do I tend to believe that I can change the other person?
once you find your answers it will be clear to you. In our life some bad situations tend to come again and again in a very specific way in order to testify whether we learned how to behave properly and how to love ourselves first and above all in a healthy way.
Take your time to retreat, love yourself and give him the best prizes. If you start to feel full filled then everything will change positively. Wish u the best, love from Greece
My girlfriend broke up with me today, and I got this video. The universe send this to comfort me and help me move on. I let you sweetheart. Go in peace 😊
I am 16 years old and this same phrase “let them” has changed the way I view myself and the way I view the world. It helped me heal from ugly relationships that I was trying so hard to keep while I was completely ignoring ME. I let these people control the way I valued myself and since they never saw my value, I didn’t either. Let them go. Let yourself grow
You are wise for a 16-year-old. I wish I knew this at your age. I am 39 now and I have let too many men hurt me both physically, emotionally and mentally. I have learned to value myself and my peace of mind now, but it has taken a lot of time to understand that I needed to see my own value and love myself for the amazing being I am, and not let these cluster B personalities determine my value. I thought I had learned in the past, but ended up with the same person in a different wrapping, just because I was in love. But I was in love with his potential and not who he really was. I ignored the red flags because I wanted to see the best in him and I saw his potential so clearly. But this person wasn't living up to his potential, and you can't force another person to grow. He put up a great act and was very charming, but in reality he was vibing low and not willing to grow and evolve, and he used me and cheated behind my back. So if I could give any advice to younger people out there, and there are probably some older people who need this advice too, it would be to never fall in love with someone's potential. See them for who they are right now, not who you think they potentially could be one day. And don't ignore the red flags! Listen to your intuition when something feels off, even if you can't put your finger on it. If you are constantly feeling unsure and questioning their behaviour in your mind, something is most likely not right. And another advice is to stay away from people with big anger issues. You don't need that drama in your life, and they will never change. I wish you all the best in life. Never forget what you wrote here today. Some people are so charming and slick that they can make you forget the wisdom you thought you had learned.
Except for that one non ending heavy drop you can consistently hear! But the gentle rain in background was nice! I actually listen to rain on utube to go to sleep! 🙂
As someone who’s been suffering from very low self esteem for years it feels very warming to see these kinds of videos. I wish I could hug you grandma 🫂🫂🫂
RUclips algorithm must know what I’m going through right now. I am 33 years old and am learning the ‘let them’ theory in therapy right now. Thanks for sharing.
I’m a scouser navigating life alone in America. Trust me, the rain and the English countryside is an immense comfort that you will miss if it ever leaves. A British afternoon in the conservatory, the rain on the windows and cuppa tea and a biscuit…it’s the simple things in this life that in the end, mean the most. I actually think this video made me think about coming home :)
I am so pleased that this video keeps hitting the spot for many people. Please do hit that like button and subscribe as there very well may be other videos of mine that will do the same. D
"The heart that didn't harden" absolutely spoke to me. Thank you so much.
i really needed to hear this, and it touched me on a personal level. i couldn’t help but get emotional because your voice is so comforting. t’s incredibly soothing. just subscribed, and i'm so glad i found your channel. 💗
I love you ❤😭
@@vyhxym Welcome and thank you for subscribing. D
Thank you ❤
" if they're ok with never seeing you, let them" this hit me so much.
It does strike home doesn't it? D
@@Cheshirelass thank you for ur beautiful words
but it hurts tho, especially when you miss seeing them
but it hurts a lot tho, especially when you used to talk everyday and you miss seeing them
@@strvwcolls i agree since it became a part of my routine and my everyday life. What i did is i tried to learn a new skill or new hobby
If the algorithm recommends this when you need to hear it, let it.
Thanks for the smile. D
I can’t tell you how badly I needed this today :(
@@markpatterson1109 Take care. D
For real. The day I needed it it showed up
I had a terrible heartbreaking breakup 6 months back and this video keeps popping up in my feed i just didn’t had it in me to open it until now when i searched it and heard what I should’ve heard back then😭😩
We have no control over other people’s decisions. We hurt ourselves by trying to control. LET THEM do as they please !!
But far too many in relationships of any kind do control all aspects of their partner's life - including decisions they make. They do not seem to be hurt by this as it is usually their aim. D
My situation isn’t a partner but relationship with my daughter sadly
It was never like this but after her dad left us in 2006
Cracks started appearing (I prayed from first night we were in own for LOVE to be in me no bitterness as it would destroy me & my daughter ,
I have had people come in from then some short periods females helping some longer and few who have remained to this day and always been THANKFUL 🙏🩷🙏
As with out Universe God and ones who helped I wouldn’t be here today .
But our children know which bottoms to press that unsettle us
We’ve had periods of wonderful times but I always swear of changed mood in my daughter now has been in relationship 15 years grandchild light of my life 9-yr’s
But it’s come again cracks
Cannot talk with her about she shouts and says we can can’t spk but I haven’t raised my voice spoke quirky as we were walking outside
told go away she wasn’t going awalk with me
And began walking faster I couldn’t keep up
Shouting as she was going she didn’t want anything to do with me
I turned and went home this happened past Wednesday this wk .
Now told I can only see my grand daughter twice amonth
I’m a American have lived in uk over half my life
Called spoke to my brother in Twincitys he said why do want to stay there
You’ve put up with periods of this for past 16 years
And sad should move back to the states .
It isn’t that easy I’m a pensioner that’s all I have
There’s so much to consider mainly cost
There’s family two sets friends I’ve kept close to over years
These I would have near me family friends who love & care about me 🙏
No more holidays alone
(There have been erratic x.mases togetger but only afternoon home early I was greatful to be included but rest the x.mas season no inclusion )
One year went to friends don’t get me wrong I was so touched but hard to explain felt even worse
Some x.mases helped at Homeless center by me .
My brother has close relantionship with his kids & partner of over twenty years gets along with has them over and his ex wife all at holiday times plus the three of them attend events sometimes .
He says I’d have them all around me .
I have three sets very good friends here only spoke with one of what’s happened
Meeting up one today and third one Saturday
Unsure of spking rgds this till I find out if it’ll work out financially
Pardon my rambling but wanted to say it’s not a partner but my situation with my daughter .
Has anyone similar problem ? If so how have you handled it ? I would be grateful to hear 🙏🩷🙏
@@Cheshirelassthis was my experience, and he was sadistic. I had to change things because it was harming our children, not just me. It was very dangerous leaving and he character assassinated me to everyone with all his lies, including some of my own family, my little sisters. He lovebombed them too when we lived closer at the start. He is a very believable LIAR. I had an evil aunt do that to me prior for financial reasons. I was an impediment to her greed.
@@pokemonpro8438 Well done for being strong for you and your children. Take care. D
came in just the right time…
I heard the rain
I heard a lovely accent
I heard poignant lessons
I heard it's up to me
I heard I can choose
I heard myself loving me
I heard you
Thanks ❤
@libbyfransen7053 That has brought a tear to my eyes. Thank you so much. I am going to pin this. D
Thank You 🙏🏻💙💐
I am a conqueror
I am a child of God
I am Blessed
I am walking in my purpose
I am who he created me to be
Just let me be who i am.
I am happy for you
I am glad you have a choice
I am me and I do have a voice
I am loved by the one above
I am kind
I am going to let this light shine
We are the branches and he is our vine!!
@@the1972bulldogI appreciate her as well this is a beautiful I understand it was somebody else but forget to share it with us is a blessing and is needed in this time God bless you! 😊
"If they want to leave, hold the door open, and LET THEM." 100%
Louder omggg 😭
Yes. But then shut the door and lock it.
@@januszdworak4780 better yet just forget about it. they have closed their chapter. and best yet, onto yours
I read this AS she was saying this past
I love the song by Sting: "Set Them Free."
I’m positive that RUclips is the universe talking to me.
Seems like it, i think it's God hearing ours hearts cry
The algorithms are just getting more personal and adjustable to you. People have similar problems and you going thru them almost every day so the fact you come across videos all the time coincidentally makes sense and is the same for me
God i swear
Schizophrenic delusions or seeing signs that arnt there
Yes. What a few days my son and I have had. Broken by bullying. Thank-you for this. ❤
If they want to come back to you after breaking you into pieces, never let them.
Agreed 100%
I‘m in this situation right now and I really want to let them eventhough I probably shouldn‘t :(
@@lauram.5555. If it costs you your peace, its just too expensive.
@@lauram.5555 If your inner voice tells you to not let them anymore, then you shouldn't let them. Always listen to your inner voice
Yes ❤
"If they're ok with putting themselves first - let them". Very powerful. Thank you.
old people giving advice on youtube and social media is what this world needs
edit: i didn't expect this comment to blow up so before anyone else comments that calling someone "old" is disrespectful; i really don't believe growing old should be seen as something negative or that there is more worth inyoung people. if you don't agree with that, that's okay.
now gonna take this lady's advice, and let y'all comment what you want
Literally my favorite content
Wise *
Wise, Beautiful, Experienced Souls would be a more lovely choice of words 🤍
facts!! That is why I subscribed immediately before even watching any of her videos!!
Yes this side of social media is great. The rest sucks haha
Maya Angelou said it best: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
Omgg I've always loved this quote.
Thank you 🙏 so much for that, Her work always brings 🧬 Life in Me.... Thank you for the Reminder 💕
Couldn't agree more eith Maya & I think about this quote all the time. So true.
You mean Hamas and terror supporters at American colleges and universities? Absolutely. Thanks for stating the obvious.
I didn't pay attention to this quote when I should have. Now I know.
That moment when RUclips algorithm gives you a gem...
It was truly the break in the chaos for a moment for me i swear
Right?!
just yesterday i saw my ex for the first time since we broke up while on exchange after 4 months… my head was doing ok until that point, and now its all spinning again. youtube always covers me
“Total” gem 💎
🙌🏽❤
It’s rainy, peaceful, and she’s pretty.
She was definitely a beauty when she was younger.
She's a beauty right now ☺️
Yes exactly why do people have to be pretty or handsome only when they're young? ❤
A lovely soul
@Shaun-kh7icfather time has his way with us all
“And do not automatically take the blame and punish yourself for any of the things that they have done” caught me off guard ❤
An important one to remember. D
❤
I did that. Never again.
currently enduring that stage...
@@postcards.to.myself Take care. D
"You dont have to punish yourself for any of the things they've done."
I needed to hear that
Same sending hugs to you
same here
so many people finding this and watching it at the same part of their day as me.. beautiful.
for whoever needs to hear this: my mom always told me “you were fine before them, you’ll be fine after them”
edit: it was my grandmother who told my mom those words when she would struggle w breakups, then my mom would tell me🖤
Wise words. D
Amen to that!!!!
My mom says that as well!
Or sometimes she’ll say “You came into this world without them and so you’re strong enough without them”
You were never the same after meeting them though
@@nishthagupta1357 right.. I miss it
“Let them loose you. You were never theirs because you were always your own”thank you 🙏
Lose
@@pendennis123Loose in this sentence also works, as in let them set you free.
Lose
@@TheHamburgler123 No it doesn't. Sounds weird
@@JronDon854 Well languages are weird sometime , weird rules, weird pronounciations ...
Beside that point , I feel like "lose" and "loose" can both work in this context because it can be the contrary of "contained" (by looking at some definitions), so pretty much you could say this quote could means that you do not need to contain those peoples in your life, you should always let them go away from you .
Idk I think it fit well x) .
If your absence doesn’t bother them…your presence never mattered!!!!!
I needed to hear this again!!! This ain’t nothing but the fucking truth!
It hurts so much as it used to bother them when I wasn't there
@@ItsMeYaMama Yes, very well put, and very wise!!!
@@ItsMeYaMama Love this! Sadly, I’ve learned the hard way that its so true.
CRYING SO HARD AT THAT PART WHEN SHE SAID LET THEM" MULTIPLE TIMES. It is worth it though because letting them is being free. "LET THEM" it must be a tattoo. Two words engraved in my brain. To make me realize it is outside my control. And if it's outside our control why don't we feel freedom out of it? LET THEM.
It can take some time to break the attachment that you feel - this is often the way. Take care. D
@@Cheshirelass I love you grandma
I’m 19 and I love receiving advice from elderly women! I never knew my grandma because I’m an orphan, so I thank God that He sent me here!
This is sweet. I’d be your grandma if I could. I had an older woman as a mentor when I was young woman and mom. I loved her so much. I also had my mother who was my best friend. Now my daughter is my best friend.
Take care. D
Good you learned early in life in your young adulthood. Wish I had known this Truth at age 19. God bless ❤
@@lauralong6695you seem so lovely may God bless u🥺💖
I'm the same and I'm 40. So wise, and elderly tend to be more caring so you're more likely to listen. When we sense care, we listen.
After 80 years on this earth I realized that Happiness is accepting what life gives you more than actually getting what you want.
You’re so right.
In the end, I want to know that the world has given me more than I’ve taken from it.
I literally just woke up today at the age of 34 and said this to myself! I'm just going to accept what life give me and be happy with it and stop having so many expectations.
i feel like everyone has a different perspective on this, i.e, how you should live your life to be as happy as possible
so true
“Let them see the heart in you that didn’t harden” -painful yet pure and beautiful
💔💔♥️💪🏽🫶🏽
True
Ouch
@@katherineXXpierce that's the point I started crying
This is why I was going through a difficult time when a person in my past suddenly called me wanting to connect just because. I let them in, and showed them that my heart was not hardened. They hurt me yet again. I let them…. But I also let them leave again when they chose to disrespect my boundaries. Part of me thinks I won’t let them in again, but I hope that one day they may come back and I want to let them love me. After all, I’m strong enough to love them, forgive them, and pray for them
I broke out in tears listening to the poem, because it made me realize that growing up with a big loving family made me feel like I was rich indeed. Now after several years, my family has been torn apart since Covid, and the people I still love - no longer love each other. No more family gatherings during the holidays, no more Christmas cheer at my grandmas house. Those will be my most cherished memories. True wealth is in the family. All the money in the world won’t bring my family back because they don’t have love for one another. So, where there is love - there is hope. When there is no love, it’s tragic.
The rain background,
The profound message,
The soothing voice,
This is it! Thank you 🥹🥹🥹
I love the sound of the rain as she was talking. I felt at peace 😌
A gentle British woman tenderly sharing advice with young ones makes me feel warm and fuzzy
Absolutely
I really needed this. And it’s so fantastic to see something intelligent, useful and heartwarming without snark on social media. This is the only thing I’ve seen all day that was worth watching, and I love it ❤❤
I think it was Maya Angelou who said, "Never make someone a priority for whom you are only an option."....so true.
It's very much a daily choice, choosing myself... Choosing to flow toward me and what makes me strong.
It's hard to let them, but over time, it makes more sense, to let them.
True. D
True but unfortunately ultimately u have to let them because they leave u with no other choice . So then it becomes a question of saving yourself . Sad but true !
:( mmmh.
@@monikapv10 Lol, you always have a choice in this universe. Consequences will follow that choice, but you can always tell someone to Fuck off. Try it on me :P
I have no CHOICE
and there in the surrender comes
Did anyone else find this video at just the right time? It's such a coincidence that it found its way onto my feed, and I'm glad it did. ❤
Same here, this is crazy!
Same🫠
Yes, same.
RUclips and all applications probably know our conversations hence this suggestion
@@falguni.bonaparte That’s terrifying, but makes complete sense 😭, like one time I was randomly talking to my friend about going on holiday to Norway and then when I opened TikTok later that day the first video was about travelling there, it’s quite scary really.
The 🌧️ rain is a perfect backdrop for your reading ❤
❤ this yes so beautiful hey 😊
❤
I found it very annoying and distracting cause I have ADHD
I love the rain. This was my confirmation. 🖤
Indeed, funny she apologises about it in at the top...
“Let them see the heart in you that didn’t harden” I felt that personally 🫶🏽
So did I. ❤❤
Towards urself!
❤
What is the meaning?
@@mem8516 its easy to bring your past hurts to new people. you build your walls, and thus block out connection. be aware of this. dont let your past hurts keep power over you. dont be scared to show people your unhurt self. dont be scared to show people that you wont stand by as they hurt you.
I hope youre young. If you are, you have a lot to learn, and you will - so long as you never forget to love yourself. and never forget to love others.
In a 4 year relationship that has been nothing but me fighting for his loyalty and love. This is making me cry because i know this is the message i needed to see.
“if they are showing you who they are and not what you perceived them to be, let them”.
But remember you don’t have to be what they are showing u of u don’t want to be
You have the choice to choose…. Your life is your life …. If they choose the life they have …. No1 has the right not force u to have the life they choose for themselves
I learnt to always be truthful to myself ….. I was fine when they won’t in my life and I will be fine when they won’t be
Never allow someone to over hurt u for there ego
Being happy is a decision. Still don’t forget that you‘re „them“ to somebody else too.
Absolutely. D
This needs more likes 🤧
Good point
❤
I've lost a few friends, sometimes because of me, sometimes because of them, sometimes because of both of us. This was my first thought. All of my flaws and mistakes in each friendship came to the forefront of my mind as she ran down the list of things to let "them" do. I realized I'm just as much "them" as they are. It makes me feel less like a villain, and more like a human. Great comment.
"if they want to misunderstand you, let them' touched me
Its often the case- and if they can - they surely will. It hurts. D
Nice
That touched me too!
Me too
"let them love you." Was what stood out most for me.
Don't think you will be alone with that. Probably as many would love that to be the way - but as part of a genuine, balanced relationship - no matter what variety. D
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Lonely 🥺😢so alone, literally no one to talk with .
I'm sorry you're so alone right now. Please know your Heavenly Father is only a prayer away. He's always there for us and wants us to talk to him about everything. His Son, Jesus Christ is always there too and understands perfectly all our pain and sorrow because he took it all upon him, not just our sins. I love this scripture from John 14:18 "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you." He has helped me and comforted me through the darkest nights.🙌🙏❤ @@Twinkiepie52
@@Twinkiepie52 I am so sorry to hear that. Wishing you all the very best. Treat yourself with kindness, enjoy and be grateful for the small things in life...that's how I get through, but I also speak with God Almighty and He strengthens and comforts me. ❤
"Let them see the heart that didn't harden,
Let them love you"
I'm literally crying
Same here, it made me feel release 🙏🏼💖
I'm try to be understanding and remembering when I was younger and I was too busy to be there for my parents and grandparents, especially grandparents because they
lived a distance away. Looking back, I feel bad and wish I reached out more...but I did love them deeply and still think of them almost daily. Tried being there for my parents
when they got older and needed me more....as much as time would permit with me working full time and them living a bit of a distance as well. This video helps me accept what is and be content with my life at 82 and be grateful and not unhappy about how other people don't seem interested in me. Thank you 🙂
@@rise9666 listening to this all I could do is cry, it still very raw to me when my husband of 10 years cheated and abandoned us for his mistress without any care or proper closure. He just left abruptly and told me that he’s in love with a woman he met at work
@@untamedheart6820 I can't imagine how painful that had to be...
I hope your heart never hardened, and please spread love for the worthy
And especially for yourself ❤️🔥
My mom always told me “do your best and forget the rest.” To the person that’s reading this just know that you’re valuable and that you matter. ❤❤❤
Thankyou
You matter too. Thank you. 💟
@@shaivisingh872 ♥
Aw! That's so sweet! 🤗💟 You are matter, too! 🥰
Thank you❤
It"s extremely difficult and painful to let someone go...But we deserve to be valued and have control of our lives. Thank you so much.
Very true. D
“let them lose you, you were never theirs…because you were always your own”
❤❤❤❤
❤❤
I have no family, no siblings, no parents, no ant, no grandparents.. no adult to turn to for advice, this warmed my heart❤️❤️❤️
You are welcome - thanks for joining us. D
Same as my life 😢
Same. For the record lmao
You always have God
@@maureendibari2384😂😂😂aye mystical man in the sky who has helped the homeless so much!
"you have to accept yourself for what you are without changing yourself for others..."
!!
Thing that hit me most during this entire video. I just read this while she said it… shit is disheartening.
I was a people pleaser for as long as I remember. It made me miserable and anxious, as I got used to putting other people first. Recently I had enough, and realized my worth. Others were not happy with me setting up boundaries, considered me mean,just because they were not used to me standing up for myself. I needed to hear this. Thank you. ❤
Well done for standing up for yourself. Whilst it is so good to help other, it needs to be part of a balanced relationship with give and take. D
Here are my main mottos: 1) I can´t be bothered with people who can´t be bothered. 2) Carry on regardless 3) Be who you are
Also, if you feel everything is crashing and your peace has been disturbed, look after yourself in this order: 1) physical body: drink water, eat properly, shower, put on clean pjs, and sleep at least 8 hours 2) mind: detach from social media, other media, ads, apps, and toxic people (this can include family members and significant others) 3) spirit: be true to yourself and be kind to yourself and others. Try to be near nature and the sea or at least have plants, flowers, water around. Follow the Truth. 4) Do something creative whether painting, writing, making something (crafts, baking, carpentry, etc) 5) listen to calm or upbeat music with no shouting or swear words in it!
@@LaChicaconSuerte-1111 thank you for this, friend, i needed this. sending you love.
@@nightfallenx same to you and take care x
@@LaChicaconSuerte-1111 Yes! ❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉
I agree with this but what about if they are your own adult children..
the algorithm knows, "they don't value you and you deserve to be valued"
🥺🥲😔
Please can I say a huge thank you to everyone who has subscribed, liked and especially taken the time to comment on this piece and to support other folk. That is how life should be as far as I am concerned.
It really means so very much to me and I hope that your visit isn't just a fleeting one.
I have currently replied to every message but am closing for the night as my eyes are a step ahead of me and are half closed already.
Thank you again - I have a feeling that when my cat leapt onto my keyboard and that I lost a message. Apologies - he likes to help! Dee xx
Just discovered you and subbed.
I love the rain banging! 🌹
💖💖💖💖💝 also, my cats do that too! Especially my Torti girl!
Lol, I love the kitties. All 4 of mine could be off into different areas of the house when I'm sitting on the couch, having my quiet time. But as soon as I Crack open my Bible or another book, or get on my tablet, one of them will come up and plop itself right on top of it! It's a cat thing lol
@@HzFvr Much appreciated. Take care. D
Ty Ty Ty
I replayed twice then again as each time tears engulfed me
Its morning and I just switched on your site it was first thing I saw the TITLE caught my attention
That I tapped to listen going through a situation difficult
Tapped like & subscribed
Appreciate greatly what you shared
🙏🩷🙏
I come back to this video often. I struggle with letting go and letting people choose me. I often think that if I love them enough and show them that I am worth it that they will love me the way I deserve to be loved. Sitting still and doing nothing and letting them show me who they are is so difficult for me. Like you said Dee, it is a loss of control. Thank you for these words and you're gentle spirit and approach. Today I came back to this again after numerous times but it hit me in a different and new way. What a lovely resource you have given us.
Take care - some of my other videos will help and support you - do check them out. D
Control is such a dangerous action. It produces anxiety fear and a multitude of emotions. Dont ever try to control someone else. Just take care of yourself with gratitude and authenticity
This right here. One mistake I did that I regret. It made me anxious and it was horrible. I needed to hear this video to just “let them”.
@@KathrynMcFarlane-hu5hy lots of anxiety and fear 🥺😔
This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear. It just hurts so bad when you love them and would never do to them what they’re doing to you
Especially with family :(
Have to love yourself more.
Exactly! ):
I learnt to let go of family members a few years ago.
They are definitely not the people I thought they were.
As I always say
"you do you and I'll do me"
Children and grandchildren 😭
Elderly British women make me smile. Idk why they just do.
I am smiling too now!! D
@@Cheshirelass 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
I've never seen one before😭
I have (still) suffered from PTSD and bipolar disorder type 2. I can make it easier by blaming my narcissist and violent dad for it, my years of being bullied and isolated at school, and my unsupportive mother out of it. but oh well, listening to your wise gives me courage to face the deepest fear, which is abandonment. Thank you!
Please do subsribe and check out my other videos - there will be ones that will help and support you. Take care. D
Ty❤4u
Not only is aunty wise af she’s a fashion gorlllll. Pink paisley velour and minky brown?! Purrrrrr 💅🏾💅🏾💅🏾
Thank you - Now, that is another first!! D
Classy but sassy. Hope I can be more fashionable as I age.
this entire exchange is sending me💀
S/O to my big sissy NeeNee putting me on to the scheme REST PEACEFULLY SISSY 😘🙏🏾
lmao
The gift of goodbye, whether it's given to you or you give it to others is sometimes the best solution for both of you
My narcissist abusive brother who never knew me, seriously misunderstands me, and very heavily emotionally and verbally abused me as a little girl to adult… someone whom I never had a relationship with… I told him goodbye.
I was no contact for years and now I’m reminded after a toxic text exchange riddling with meddling, gaslighting, patronizing, manipulation and blaming. I suffered the worst anxiety attack and stress. I have serious heart disease and my mental health. So I told him the truth about what I really thought and felt about him. I said you never deserved to have me as your sister, you were always a very bad brother and abusive to me from when I was a little girl to adult. That gaslighting me repeatedly isn’t going to work. And that I’m not going to allow this kind of toxicity back in my life and soul ever again. And to do not contact me ever again. GOODBYE.
Sometimes I feel bad and sad about if but then I remember my history of my abusive brother. And how bad that anxiety attack was for me. And then I realize this is for the best and for my own good. Besides he wasn’t never in my life before. I’ll be fine after.
The sound of rain the background made this all the more relaxing ❤
it is scary how youtube knows when things are falling apart in my life and what situation im in without needing to explain..but i guess im here. thank you miss dee..
Take care D
When they lie, manipulate, show jealousy, contempt, ill-intent, disconnect.
Absolutely. Take care. D
I had to disconnect with my sister because she has no respect or empathy for anyone.
She lost her control in front of me and I saw her real self, which was full of rage, contempt, jealousy and basically a toddlers tantrum.
It was so frightening and unexpected that I knew I had to cut the cord to protect myself from ongoing hurt.
I don't regret doing this but it has affected our family dynamics and they are all walking on egg shells around her.
I'm never doing this again.
Jo.😊
@@jomassey4207Love It Jo! Same with my mother
She might be a narcissist, i just realized my sibling is a narc , conversations with him leave me feeling like complete trash it's like emotional terrorism. I've decided to finally distance myself. @@jomassey4207
That’s what I’m doing
“You belong to nobody but yourself” “it’s not selfish, it’s self care; self nurturing” needed this; thank you for this video
You belong to the Good Lord
@@marleneflourentzou680AMEN.
@@marleneflourentzou680 I agree, I meant people wise.
I don’t know why this came up on my feed but I desperately needed to hear this today.
The vagaries of YT. I have no idea why this has happened, but wish that I did - it is I believe the first time. Do look after yourself and don't heap lots of blame on yourself. Take care. D
@@Cheshirelass 🙏❤️
Universal Law of Attraction. You attract what you need. It works with social media because the law consists in social/human networks and electronics does not hinder our needs and can facilitate or meet our needs as need arises. Believe it, accept it, use it. This is age of Aquarius ♒️ new ways of being is here. We are learning about ourselves who are energy beings in physical bodies emitting frequency that matches the earth. Social media n electricity are also energy, everything has energy. The earth frequency is rising causing people's frequency to match her. To match her frequency we are forced to understand energy and spiritual things where the new earth frequency is moving all humans towards. Good things to come✨️
Knowledge of Self💫
Self-Care💚
Courage✊🏾
Same
AI is reading our thoughts.
I’m 55 nd going thru divorce after 30 yrs of marriage- I needed to hear this , thank u so much whole heartedly 🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽❤️
Do take care. One step at a time and allowing healing time for yourself. Thinking of you. D
My ex gave me very poor contact and communication. It would infuriate me and made me want him harder and chase him until I became so ill I lost my mind. Then I read a lot into going zero contact. Decided to let him... I broke off all contact. It was painful. But something interesting happened. The tables turned completely. He started chasing me, started getting agressive to try and communicate with me, started getting desperate. For years... Because I never contacted him again. He is still stalking me here and there. He is not over me, I know it, and I dont care anymore. i found someone who truely loves me and I am so glad I did this. I finally found self respect.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, D
I love this!!!!
like an arrow, you must be willing to be pulled back in order to move forwards.
I'm going through the exact same thing right now, for the past year and a half I've been dealing with defensiveness and lack of communication that have made me anxious and depressed. I should have left the first time I told him we should break up after 3 months together due to his lack of consistency and nonchalant attitude. I gave it another shot only for it to get worse, as well as my mental health slowly degrading. Brought me to want to break up again 6 months ago but he said "we'll be fine" with no change until today...I decided I no longer want to give my all to someone who shows no care and consideration towards me, someone who never prioritizes me and refuses to have proper conversations and meet my emotional needs. I hope he won't start chasing me, but knowing how big his ego is he probably won't. I just want to heal and be happy again..
@@an.ca.1536this is my EXACT current situation. Are we all living the same life?😢 we will be okay. Let them🙏
The sound of the rain combined with her soothing voice is the perfect ambient cleanse . Thank you!
What a lovely lady.
I'm a 60 year old man, who unashamedly bawled my eyes out during this x
🫶
Good for you 🙂.God made tears for more than one reason ❤️
I have in many cases, Let them GO. Many, many people will use you if they can, dont let them. Chose your friends wisely. It is a good world out there. Life is short, enjoy yourself.
At 75, I have realised the wisdom behind Let them theory. I have achieved a total peace in my heart. It does work, but it requires you to let go of all the hurt and pain.
that can be the most difficult D
❤
Yes, I try so hard to let go of the hurt and pain. Idk what to do. I want to be content. I am afraid I will die of a broken heart.
@@cocoa3900 sorry to know about your hurt. I would like you to ask yourself these questions. ‘Does anyone care about my hurt? What do I gain by holding onto this pain and hurt?’ I can imagine what your answers will be.
You know that you are only hurting yourself by holding onto those feelings, and isn’t it time to let bygones be bygones, so you can feel at peace to enjoy the rest of your life?
It won’t be easy, but you will understand yourself better by letting go off your hurt, forgiving those who hurt you. We would be saints if we could forget all about it, but forgiveness brings us peace. It is worth it, because we are worthy of having peace and happiness in our hearts.
I totally get it . But does letting go mean to stick stick around and keep forgiving ?
I am almost 54 and have zero actual real friends. A handful of acquaintances. No more family ties. I want the kind of friend that I am (have been) to others. I don't think that's too much to ask. I also believe in meeting people where they are, and I do but when they either start to take more and more or just show up only when they are in need, I'm out.
Over time, people show who they really are, and I am choosing not to settle. I'd rather spend time alone, with my best cat, my books, the outdoors, great movies, my plants and so on. I am always open to real friends; they just seem to not exist in my realm at the moment. I'm okay with that.
Jennifer - if you are ok with being alone, as many of us are, until you find friends who remain friends, have you thought of joining a club - maybe crafting, gardening, walking - whatever you fancy. You would then be meeting people with similar interests. You do say in my realm 'at the moment' - so maybe the time just hasn't been right for you to meet with people with whom you gel.
Until then, do join us on our video walks to lovely places in nature, places of interest. We'd love to have you along. Take care. D
Me too. Well said.
@@Cheshirelass I have considered that but haven't dipped my toes into meeting up with other groups of interest yet. Maybe someday! I'll check out the walking videos.... thank you, Dee!
@@7Jennifer It would be lovely if you could join us. D
I’m the same age and have moved from Australia to Italy. I am with my Mum and her little dog. I don’t have friends. I know many people and my family are not available. I am not unhappy. It was very easy to make this decision. I can only take one day at a time and teach myself to LET THEM.
Most people can't comprehend how powerful this really is, because many people are conditioned to act out of emotions regarding other people's actions in a vain attempt to "control" them(which usually doesn't happen). When you let others do what they do, it deprives them of any possible desired reaction from you, and they are often left puzzled instead of satisfied they got a reaction from you. This is the way to deal with negative & confusing behavior.
I so agree - I have to admit, sadly from experience. Thank you for your comment - it is appreciated. Take care. D
Totally YES 🩵🩷❤️💚🧡💛💖
Right on!
It quite the smart person who can see their own ego and decipher the feelings and actions they would normally take. It is wonderful to let them be. I often pray for them to heal and be happy. Doesn't mean they don't piss you off 🤣 You just get to figure out WHY it bothers you 👍
I took me so much time to realize that, now I’m trying to act on it but its hard
I needed to hear this from someone with life experience. I need to stop stressing about others and worry about myself.
You've got it! D
My mum always told me “they’ll need you before you need them.” It’s true! Everyone that’s turned their back on me or thought they found new, more fun friends to spend time with and left me by the road side, they’ve always come running back to me in a crisis. Their true and dependable friend. Now I’ve learned to keep the door closed to the fair-weather friends. Mum was right. She usually is.
Thank you for sharing your words. D
Omg why is this so me 😭
All you young people, listen up. Age is wisdom. Been there, done that.
Nowadays some young people say age is just a number and they are shamelessly having affairs with older cougars who are old enough to be even their grandparents
"they have to EARN a place back to your life, otherwise it will be very quickly back to as was same old." Thank you for the reminder, I listened to this couple times.
Well said. D
I will not let her earn it ever again
When I estabilshed my boundaries, I lost my best friend. She called me selfish and I spent a long time thinking about it. Now I look back and I see how naive I was for letting her surpass my boundaries. I miss her, but I do not miss having no limits. I'm way happier now, after all the changes I had to make in my life to see who really cared about me.
Those who care about yu - and about whom you care are true friends - not the fair weather variety. D
Yes! True love gives people free will! It doesn't seek to manipulate others into giving what they don't want to give.
Absolutely - it's when agendas creep in that even things are a problem - and then even what once seemed to be a true love sadly can change. Take care. D
Where was Judas free will when he betrayed Jesus?
Was it not spoken of by David thousands of years before Judas was born? Did not Christ tell Satan to go into Judas and to do what he does quickly. Did not God choose between Jacob and Esau before the 2 boys were born who he would love and who He would hate. There is nothing the 2 could of done to change their fate.
How do the spirits of divination that mediums call upon know what's going to happen in your life before it happens? Because our lives are predestined and predetermined just as those God redeemed where foreknown before the foundation of the world.
(Ephesians 1:4)
(Ephesians 1:11)
(Roman's 8:29-30)
Free will is a myth.
@@BibleBound333Christianity a myth.. hahaha
Hundred percent correct 💯
Love is about freedom, giving each other freedom and letting each other be themselves.
And loving each other for who they are.
@BibleBound333 prophecy doesn't mean forced will, it means knowing what that person's will will be like. God already knew the end from the beginning and the choices we would make and who we would be.
I think the rain was a perfect backround. Rain is for cleansing and washing away the energy that no longer serves us. This video came at the perfect time. Thank you.
Take care. D
How yt know im hurtin rn😭
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
no literally, i never even watch yt 😭
Samee😭
Same. He ended our 6 year rs 10 days ago
@@pn7134 i’m so sorry ml, i wish you all the best in your healing journey. 💗
One whole year without him and the thought of him never leaves my brain, every single day for a year I've woken up to his thought, went to sleep with his thought and it hurts more and more each day, thank you so much for this if he chooses to live his life without me so i should let him do so
Unfortunately, we have no control how others feel about us, their thoughts and the consequences of these thoughts.
You can control your thoughts. You say that the thought of him never leaves your brain.... yes, you may think about him through the day, but you are spinning it in your mind to him being there all of the time. Focus on the times when he isn't. That way you will be able to begin to live your life in a much more balanced way.
If you find it too hard to do, maybe consider seeking therapeutic support.
Do take care D.
And this is why I have no friends. I far prefer to have none than surround myself with a bunch of fake narcissists. Took me a long time to realize that. But it's been one of the greatest lessons of my life
There is a great belief that we should be surrounded by lots of 'friends'. For some maybe, whilst for others they are happy with their own company. If you feel like a bit of company from an old girl - do check out my playlists on which I take you out to lovely places and natter away. Take care Emily. D
Noooo …just choose better!!!!
I totally relate to you Emily. No more narcissists in my life, and I feel pure and authentic to be me.
Hobbies are better than fake people !
Was thinking the exact same thing yesterday!
I loved this poem so much that I had "Let them" tattooed on my wrist. It's a message worth spreading.
And ya know what? I think that's cool af,i might get that as a last tat in my life turning 50 next month,and either i'm letting her go or she proves she's worth another 30 years we shall see. But great idea!!!
I am going through the hardest breakup of my life. I feel I have been thrown to the wolves after years of love, devotion, bonding and commitment. He was my best friend and the love i planned to spend my entire life by. After broken promises of forever my heart is shattered. I needed this video today. Thank you sweetheart.
Take care. D
Take care, I know how you feel and I’m going through something similar. It will get better over time, always remember that ❤️
just went through a break up last night, she told me she had feelings for someone else, 6 months of my life down the srain, i felt so betrayed, still trying to understand everything, and this video really helped thanks.
" Let them see the heart in you that didn't harden"❤️❤️❤️
Love this. This is true victory
❤
@@parisss333sm and it’s painful along the way, but forges wisdom.
This was such a great reminder of “love me or leave me” type energy. Really just allowing yourself to be true to you. And “let them” see how soft your heart still is despite the mistreatment.
Yes this ia golden ❤🥰
I feel like the universe sent me this video to watch just at the right time.
I aam so pleased - and hope that you found it helpful. Take care. D
Same! Timely message! First time discovering this channel along with this video :)
@@heather_5me too
Me too, I’m crying right now trying to deal with my girlfriend breaking up with me. Your comment likes are at 111. Bringing me back to my spiritual phase I had a couple years back. I would constantly see reoccurring numbers all day long and I was tapped in to source of the universe. I need to get back into it more. :(
@@cameron.cobalt Saw your comment at 11:11! :)
“Let them love you.” This hit me deep. I have always been afraid of affection even though I crave it so much…
It’s like the universe told me this today when I needed it. Thank you for this❤️
the rain makes this even more beautiful
Just imagine this being your grandma… what a guidance you’d have in life 🥺
These videos are the reason why RUclips should exist.
It’s always lovely to find gems like these.
thank you so much D
Never in my life have I ever needed to hear something so badly. The clarity and tenderness of this message allows to accept and love myself.
Take care. D
i never had a grandma to give me life advice and your kind word really made me tear up, thank you
Take care. D
Same I was thinking about the same thing
My grandma never gives me life advices instead only asks if I eaten or not 😂
Suddenly I'm 7 again in the greenhouse listening to the grandmother I never had telling me one of the most important lessons of my life and this will always be a blurry memory save for a few specific sentences and I'll always have a love of rain and plants leftover.
Except for that one constant loud drip that was interrupting the steady soothing rainfall!
I love finding older women on YT. It's comforting.🌟
Me too!!!
Yes! No annoying screaming, no long introductions, no promotions of something I don't need, just straight to the point. And her speech is so calm, so comforting, because there's no need to rush anywhere, she just wants to leave a genuine advise to future generations.
Wow...I am a 34 year old male firefighter and I am absolutely bawling right now. Going through a tough breakup and this felt like you were talking directly to me. I took all of them blame for everything and didn't even think about it...I always find it hard to advocate for myself and set boundaries, this was very impactful. Thank you for your words
It is amazing how Dee’s videos, especially this one, have resonated with so many people across the world.
You will make it through. One day at a time. Dee has helped me so much too.
Take good care of yourself. 💕
@julespritchard - thank you. D
@johnstokes9771 - Those boundaries are important - am sure you have very strict boundaries as a firefighter - so you are used to working with them professionally. Decide what you want to happen/not to happen.. then the best way to stop it happening and then set your boundary according to this... and enforce it!
Please stop shouldering all of the blame - as they say, it takes two to tango. OK - we all have to face up to the fact that we could have done things differently/better - don't beat yourself up about this - rather, learn from it.
Thank you so much for subscribing - even though I made you cry. I am a great advocate of tears - but that's a long story!
Take care D
@Cheshirelass thank you Dee for the sweet reply. You're awesome
@@johnstokes9771 I am now blushing! D
I’m so tired of being repeatedly used and hurt. This advice will save my health and dignity. Thank you.
Maybe it's time for you to set your eyes look forward to your heart and ask some very specific questions :
*How I enter in a relationship, is it me who chose the other person or the other chose me?
*Why I want to be with this person, makes me better person, makes me happy or he / she has something that lacks from me and it challenges me?
*Before I connect with this person was able to be happy and feel full filled on my own or was expecting someone to make it for me?
*During this relationship did I have the self confidence to ask for things I wanted or refuse things I didn't?
*Do I tend to give more to others with a bad impact to my personal esteem and nutrition?
*Do I give so many to others in order to get prized as a very good person?
*Do I tend to believe that I can change the other person?
once you find your answers it will be clear to you. In our life some bad situations tend to come again and again in a very specific way in order to testify whether we learned how to behave properly and how to love ourselves first and above all in a healthy way.
Take your time to retreat, love yourself and give him the best prizes. If you start to feel full filled then everything will change positively.
Wish u the best, love from Greece
My girlfriend broke up with me today, and I got this video. The universe send this to comfort me and help me move on. I let you sweetheart. Go in peace 😊
Mine did on Sunday. Thank you for modeling it so beautifully. I say too "Go on sweetheart. Go in peace."
It's going to be ok🙏
I am 16 years old and this same phrase “let them” has changed the way I view myself and the way I view the world. It helped me heal from ugly relationships that I was trying so hard to keep while I was completely ignoring ME. I let these people control the way I valued myself and since they never saw my value, I didn’t either. Let them go. Let yourself grow
Well said. D
Learn early to say, 'Do as you please. But know that I will, too.'
You are wise for a 16-year-old. I wish I knew this at your age. I am 39 now and I have let too many men hurt me both physically, emotionally and mentally. I have learned to value myself and my peace of mind now, but it has taken a lot of time to understand that I needed to see my own value and love myself for the amazing being I am, and not let these cluster B personalities determine my value. I thought I had learned in the past, but ended up with the same person in a different wrapping, just because I was in love. But I was in love with his potential and not who he really was. I ignored the red flags because I wanted to see the best in him and I saw his potential so clearly. But this person wasn't living up to his potential, and you can't force another person to grow. He put up a great act and was very charming, but in reality he was vibing low and not willing to grow and evolve, and he used me and cheated behind my back.
So if I could give any advice to younger people out there, and there are probably some older people who need this advice too, it would be to never fall in love with someone's potential. See them for who they are right now, not who you think they potentially could be one day. And don't ignore the red flags! Listen to your intuition when something feels off, even if you can't put your finger on it. If you are constantly feeling unsure and questioning their behaviour in your mind, something is most likely not right.
And another advice is to stay away from people with big anger issues. You don't need that drama in your life, and they will never change.
I wish you all the best in life. Never forget what you wrote here today. Some people are so charming and slick that they can make you forget the wisdom you thought you had learned.
So good to know this truth at 16 years old 😊
Wonderful encouraging words from a 16 year old for me as a 50 year old. Thank you
“You were never theirs, because you were always your own”
The rain added poignancy to the message i needed to hear. thank you
Except for that one non ending heavy drop you can consistently hear! But the gentle rain in background was nice! I actually listen to rain on utube to go to sleep! 🙂
@@Caareenkm6726ur very passionate about that raindrop💀💀
@@Caareenkm6726ur very passionate about that raindrop💀💀
As someone who’s been suffering from very low self esteem for years it feels very warming to see these kinds of videos. I wish I could hug you grandma 🫂🫂🫂
Please do keep joining us - do come along on our video walks too - they are relaxing and we need that! Taake care. D
RUclips algorithm must know what I’m going through right now. I am 33 years old and am learning the ‘let them’ theory in therapy right now. Thanks for sharing.
You’re not alone. 35 year old woman over here learning the “let go, let be, let them” theory as well. ❤️🩹
Same
27 year old and I'm joining y'all 🤗
Understand you very well! Choosing 'to let' over 'to control' is an art of life not easy to pursue but worth of practice until it becomes a habit
I am 23 already doing it
I’m a scouser navigating life alone in America. Trust me, the rain and the English countryside is an immense comfort that you will miss if it ever leaves. A British afternoon in the conservatory, the rain on the windows and cuppa tea and a biscuit…it’s the simple things in this life that in the end, mean the most. I actually think this video made me think about coming home :)
Bit of a difference Utah and Cheshire! Do check out my other videos - I take you into the countryside - but sorry, not to Liverpool! Take care. D
she is teaching us how to be at peace
Let people do what they WANT TO DO, so you’ll see what they’d rather do!