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LISTEN I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.. I GOT A RELATIONSHIP FOR JUST A MONTH AND HE DID CONTACTED WITH ME PHYSICALLY..AND THEN HE JUST RANDOMLY ENGAGED WITH ANOTHER WOMEN AND START LIVE IN WITH HER.. WTF.. I CAN'T EVEN TELL ABOUT IT TO MY PARENTS AS HE KNEW IT AND HE GOT A WOMEN WHO IS A CABIN CREW AND HAVE A BUNCH OF MONEY..I AM NOW DESTROYED.. WAS THAT A S**XUAL HARR*SMENT?
As a nurse, I have seen husbands and wives come in the morning and stay until late, every day to be at their spouse's bedside. And, these are clients who are hospitalized for months in the ICU. This is my witnessing of unconditional love.
I have witnessed that as well from people close to me. Genuine and true love is real. It’s like losing a best friend. But if that person started treating you poorly and ignored your needs, I bet your feelings for them would eventually change. But if your son/daughter did the same, you’d still love them unconditionally.
@SaveTheMessenger You made me laugh in a good way. Unconditional love is for kids, parents and dogs. 😂 (Let's not forget cats, horses, goats ... 😊). It's "funny" because it's true.
I appreciate you all mentioning this. I've been learning this the hard way after 10+ years of marriage. Recently been telling my husband when he says something "what are you going to do about it?" Sounds so harsh to me personally but it's something he responds to well and it kind of pushes him in the direction to actually make changes. I would not personally recommend that style for others but we've gone through a lot and overcome a lot. I wish so much that I knew then what I know now. I especially appreciated the beginning of his message. Ladies - take what he saya seriously! You will save yourself so much heartache and confusion. My husband and I have overcome a lot but we chose a different path than we were told to choose. It was difficult and not something I would recommend to others. I'd like to add along with what he said about being driven: how does he handle hardship and challenges? Does he show signs of anger? Anxiety? Does he keep his head about him and seek wide counsel? Does he make wise choices? Ask for your advice? If he loses his mind over what you think is ridiculous, he WILL do this in your relationship. If he doesn't ask for your thoughts and opinions especially if it's something that relates to you or affects, he WON'T ask for your thoughts later on. He WILL make the decision without you.
I stopped caring when he said, "I'll eventually commit to you." What a joke. I knew right then and there that he was not the one for me. I wasted years on that man. Never again.
WOW. Just. Wow. Good on you for leaving at that point. At least you weren't co-dependent! I think we all come to our senses at some point. The personal growth journey is the most important one. When we make ourselves a priority (without being narcissistic about it) we scare off the weak, and attract the like-minded.
Researchers found that men need about 6 months to know if they want to marry someone, so if he is not sure after a long time, you are a placeholder, and that has nothing to do with your worth, he's just not the one.
1. A man will treat you according to the value he sees in you. 2. He won't love you unconditionally. 3. Insecure man will destroy you. 4. Transformation after wealth. 5. Will lie about cheating. 6. He doesn't care about you being nice. 7. Great guy doesn't equal great husband. 8. When he has no direction in life. 9. Watch out for the chasers. 10. Will judge your body count. 11. Will replace you instantly. 12. Brainwashed by X-rated content. 13. They value freedom.
Happened with me ...broke up and ...I hate to say that I'm crying. I just wanna move on Quicker like he did with another Girl ... I wanna be Richer than him . He thinks he got money and I was only with him for money ... He wanted ONLY $exz from me And today he said clearly for him it's only $ex which means love for him ......for the sake of Self respect I have to leave the Relationship 😔. Idk but it was too much toxic for me ... I hate to say this that I loved him.... I just wanna Freaking move on Quike Nothing is more important then Family, SELF RESPECT ,INNER PEACE ✌🏻 and SELF LOVE ! Edit: I never did $ez with him , when he literally ask for it , I instantly rejected !
A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white..
I am a 27 year old woman and never was in a relationship. Thanks for the advice. A lot of it is in allignment with my own observations about men in relationships. But watching this video feels like that it's not worth it having a partner 😕😅
I'm a 27 year old woman too and never had a relationship. By the amount of pain I see my female friends in their relationships (not always the guys fault, sometimes my girlies are the red flags or both are red flags) ... it's exhausting to watch. I doubt I'd ever be able to put up with so much bs. I like my alone time but I dream of being in a happy relationship. The reality though is scary.
@@letstrytogetbetterokay8516The reality is you must go through painful experiences in a relationship and you better be prepared. Never imagine e happily ever after. That thing doesn’t exist. And with those pains, you have to continue and if you both can fight those pains together and stick to it, that's real love. But never let it be onesided and never leave the side of logic and your selfrespect. Protect your rights and also his. Don't do any odd by yourself and if he is not doing that too with you, then he is not your cup of tea
@@farzanahaquesnigdha8667no there shouldn't be pain. If both have humility life will b good n peaceful. Considering most people dont have humility (incl myself) this causes drama.
another important thing i learned is: never judge a man when women are praising and pleasing him. watch closely how he reacts when women displease him, stand up to him, draws a boundary to him, and you will find out who he really is. been seeing this a lot in my dating life... they switch on me 180° after a while when some confrontational or serious talk comes up.
My heart hurts so much when I watched it. I made a huge mistake in my very early twenties, went dating too soon and settled too early and married a narcissist after 20 years. I've got noone to blame but myself and I wish I learned everything from your video before I got married. All I ever wanted was a husband that loves me. He never looked me the same as soon as he started earning his 6-figure sum salary and saw me as a burden and that he was better than me because he was the breadwinner. It still hurts so much to this date after I filed for the divorce because all I ever wanted was for my husband to reciprocate the love and action I gave him :(
@@aashikumare7990 Thank you so much. It has brought tears to my eyes seeing your beautiful message because it has meant alot to me. You are such a beautiful and kind person. 💞
It's not you it's him. I'm currently separating from my narcissist husband after 13 years and its quite painful. He throws word daggers at me and I try to think about anything else except giving him the satisfaction of a response. We have been in a love / hate, bread crumbing, love bombing cycle for years. I decided I need to seek therapy and my own peace. Time to get off this wacky roller coaster. It's not love! He's hurting me and my children. 💔
@@priyankarmajumder4152 men being entitled to women's bodies and pressuring them into "intimacy" is called cohesion. That's abuse and that can lead to rape
Remember, too, that men don't "love" the same way women do, and do NOT become a broke, trapped housewife and servant. You may be devoted, trust him, be giddy, expect a beautiful home, babies, family holidays, etc, but once you're seen nude, won and slept with for awhile, the man feels trapped, bored, resentful, and starts blaming the woman. He may slack off on chores, helping with the kids, be gone all day playing golf, shut up playing video games, or glued to football games, cheat because "he works all week." There are 1000 excuses, and you're a nagging B. And in the marriage alone. Ladies, l can't stress this enough: get educated, have a career, not a mere job, and set up a bank account that your husband NEVER knows about. Keep your mouth SHUT. If things go bad, you'll have a bed, roof, food, gas, and protection for your kids. Not every Mommy and Daddy will take you in, and pay your bills. And they already raised their family, and likely want to enjoy life, save for retirement, travel, and have peace. Not a sad daughter, a bunch of screaming kids and added expense. It's not fair to them, either. So! Have that secret bank account, SHUTUP about it, DON'T tell anyone, and add to the "run fund" on a regular basis. Even if you don't use it, you'll have nice savings for your retirement years. If your husband is still alive, SHUTUP about it. In the case of your ill health, put it in a specific trust (before you get ill) and have your bank pay your bills for you. And legal directives to keep THEIR mouths shut. Good luck out there!'
My husband told me more than once that "I didn't have to work". I knew differently. Working outside the home, and helping with household expenses was valuable in many ways. Now that he has passed, and I am retired the decisions I made years ago were proven correct. As Tina Turner would sing, "What's Love Got to Do With It?"
And, not only do you contribute something, but you have self respect, and are treated more as a valued equal. No man wants to come home to a resentful wife, or one who can only talk about soap operas, the kids, Hollywood gossip, or what's up with Mama. Ugh!
@@SaveTheMessengerExperience? Not personally. My hubs and l just celebrated our 50 year anniversary. It's more a conclusion from what I' ve heard professionally over time. Love your channel, and solid advice!
Best advice ever. ❤ The "run fund" advice is genius, necessary and solid. It's also a good idea for financial reasons. You never ever know what can happen in life. Illness and death can happen to a spouse. My mother was widowed and left with 2 children to raise 10 and 12.
My partner wanted my sexy curves to go away by making to put on weight, so that no other man would look at me. He used to tell me that it was my USP, ultimate selling point.
I was in a relationship with a toxic man for almost 3 years. He had no ambitions in life, all he wanted was temporary pleasures in life. Now, when he finally got a reality check in life, he started regretting his decision to play around with me, he keeps coming back asking for chances. Even though I loved him deeply, I know a man like him, can never actually realize their mistake. He needs me now because he is not getting the unconditional love I was giving him back then. Again, longing for temporary pleasures.
I am so sorry for your loss! That is a hard thing to experience, and I hope you will keep your heart open to experiencing that again in the future. Every love is different and no-one will replace the unique individual who was so close to you. That said, you can experience that love again, in another flavor, when you have grieved and are ready to.
@monalisa2662 why? Fathers don't raise sons too? It's funny that almost universally, the kids are the legacy of the fathers and take their names. But the kid does something bad, and all of a.sudden we find a.woman to blame. Even women hate.women this much.
@@STak-ju7gx Certainly the fathers too. I was raised and raised my children full time while my father and their fathres worked full time so I was speaking from my own reference point.Nothing but love for the fathers... I had a wonderful father! He was working 80+ hours a week though and I saw much less of him than my mother.
I totally get it. I've been single for long time and now I am too addicted to my freedom and personal space. I've met men who immeditally insisted we meet on regular basis and hear each other every day, and I felt it was too much for me, at least for just the beginning while I don't even know them. They all left when I said I am not ready for that kind of commitment yet and I need time to get to know them. Some of them were really angry and pissed of like I insulted them by saying that.
@@zathenhcambidestem-iliv2464 Yes, we know and we are willing to wait for it, not chase it, unlike men who will saddle up and settle down with whomever and whatever they fancy.
There is no such thing, love romantically is based on mutual benefits, these being emotional or physical, true love would mean that you put the other needs and values further than yours which will destroy you.
About truth #1. So basically I think it says a lot about men's character if they only treat you well if they like you. How about treat someone with respect because it's the decent thing to do 😐
Yup. Like Ismael says, his own intentions are not clear to himself. This sounds like immaturity. Also, just because someone treats you and others with decency ... it does not necessarily mean he loves you.
@@realheckertrustmebro Who's talking about love? I think doing what you say you are going to do is called integrity. It's not love to be a decent human being. Treating someone well should just be how you treat people.
@@melt2947 All of the times when Id be laying in bed next to my girl, I knew I was already alone My inner world, my emotional turmoil and suffering, this would send her packing. And every time Ive gotten comfortable enough to be vulnerable, the abuse would start, and then Id be discarded. So I know now in retrospect that the woman was never *with me* She just wanted to have me *with her* Ive been through alot, and this is how it goes every single time.
@@jockamofeno7632 i hope my friends and i never have the great pleasure of encountering a person like u. i will pray everyday that god blesses me to stay away from people like u😊
"Secure men will never chase you". Wow that is an eye opener for me that is so true. This was an excellent list and I have experienced the truth of quite a few of these.
no false, when I love a woman I go Approach her and she give me energy that I need to prove or to chase her its means. She doesn't like me back , men don't waste time on women who say u need to chase them. They are vampires they will consume your energy, your time, giving you fake Hope's that one day you gonna be with her after proving your self 😂 , it's a lie, when a woman truly love the men she love him back instantly 😊
I was 29 and had been set up to date a man who was 40. I've never dated before nor had physical intimacy with anyone. Nor had this man who was 40. I thought someone of that age would be mature, so I gave it a try. He said if im scared of sex, dont bother contacting him, so i didn't.
We need secular communities where women can live together, particularly in middle or old age, supporting one another and getting help together. Living alone is fine but not practical in later life.
@@martinlacunza5250 so to you, if a someone only ever had sex with their spouse after marriage and that spouse dies young... the surviving one is no longer a good person? 😐 how irrationally and unnecessarily judgmental, which is not a trait of any good man would have or not one any good woman desires. Genuinely hope that gets better for you at some point, as you might have a long way to go if you genuinely have nothing more productive to do with your time than comment on RUclips videos intended for straight women.
You can always partner with other women! Even platonically and in a sisterly way! Living and working only with other women most of one's life was normal until the last few hundred years, interestingly...
Nr 7: When he has no direction in life. I just got out of a 3 year long relationship with a man that has absolutely no dedication or purpose in life. I changed countries for that man and sadly I figured it out when it was too late. Signs where there from the beginning. Don’t try to change a man. It will never work
True. It took my mom almost 17 years to walk away from a cheating husband. A couple of years later, she met my step-father. They shared more than 10 years together before my mom passed. Just a couple of months later, he had moved in with another woman! This has happened with other family and friends. Less than year after losing their wives, they're marrying someone else.
It's a lot more important whether or not he was faithful while she was alive. Starting a new relationship soon after losing someone could just mean they are deeply lonely and can't face being alone. When you have been in a long term relationship and are used to always having a partner there to talk to and eat with and so on, just being alone can feel like torture.
I've noticed that too, they just can't stand to be alone they need somebody to have sex with. It's not even about love. They don't even grieve their deceased wives, already moving on and looking for some easy target.
#1 hit me hard. My husband has been raging on me the last few months out of the blue. He's been impatient and unkind. I have not known what was going on until a few nights ago when I felt prompted to look at his phone. About the time this behaviour started, he began watching inappropriate videos on RUclips of women in various stages of dress, or in skimpy clothing... so ya, I would say that he no longer is seeing me as his wife, but an object... extremely hurtful. I don't know how we are going to recover from this. Better to be alone than with someone who will betray me, though. We'll see how he responds when confronted with it when the time is right....
Without delay please contact loved ones you can trust 100% to keep a secret and take your side, gather all the money you can access together in an account he can't reach, and make steps to leave to a secure location without a trace and without letting him know. Confrontation could endanger your life, and this abuser who's trapped you is not worth fighting for nor redeeming. If you need support or pointers, use a library/work/cafe computer or someone else's phone to get on forums and call local helplines or a shelter.
I can't find content that will help me stop wanting a healthy romantic relationship. It's never going to happen, it's an unrealistic want, and it distracts from personal growth. No one can tell me how to tell my heart to stop wanting it, even though that heart has been broken multiple times and is sick of it. Fellow ladies, throw me a bone. I'm desperate.
It's normal to want a healthy romantic relationship and it's not impossible. Sure there are assholes but there is also nice people, you just have to try and find them that's how it is
Assholes aren't worth your energy, rotten men aren't. People existing to play you is a problem with them not you. You manifest your reality and you have to stop telling yourself that having a healthy relationship is impossible because that's what you'll get. You have to stop needing love, yeah you can want it but the need is how you undervalue yourself and put your self worth in these men and relationships. You are the most important person in your universe and have to treat yourself as such. Don't settle for rodent men, don't settle for people that won't give you the time energy or respect and fill your heart and life with happiness and experience. The time won't matter because you're putting that value in yourself and your respect for yourself with mirror out into other people especially men that will also respect you. Destroy your mindset, reframe it, and continue to be hopeful
Gurl… stop watching rom-com movies, romance book and all those stuff that keep telling you mythical stuff exists in reality… these things will give you that idea, instead of that think about self development and how you can make yourself strong in every possible aspect and become the kind of gurl that is a blessing to a guy, a gurl if let go by the guy will be nothing but a disadvantage to him, nothing affects you tho… imagine being that powerful, get the taste of that power yet🙂
my brother does jump from girl to girl and i find it funny how some girls still have a crush on him cause many of them approach me in order to reach my brother i try to warn them but if they dont wanna understad i let them have their lesson leraned the hard way
Thank you Gomez, well constructed video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
It is an elaborated ad scheme here on RUclips underneath dating related videos. Account 1 speaks relatable about heartache, account 2 consoles and mentions a pricey counselor with an online service. Account 3 acknowledges it's value. In the case above someone might have reported account 2 which then has been removed leaving a gap in the fake convo.
Number 4 is true . My parents married young when my father didn’t have a lot of money so they both worked. My mom always wanted to be a stay at home mom but my dad made her work. I remember my dad telling me when I was born he picked up a second job just so my mom could stay with me longer when I was born. After she went back to work. Fast forward my parents are in their 40s and my father is the main provider and my mother no longer works. I can tell he quite resents her … I remember seeing him talk down to her as if she was a child in public very demeaning .. I also remember when I was younger accidentally snooping and seeing he has another secret instagram page just following girls. Now that he is in his 40s he’s having a midlife crisis and doing all the things he couldn’t do when he was younger.. you’re so right
That put tears in my eyes. Kinda hit close to home. But one good thing is that you are aware and seem mature enough to learn from this. I hope your mom finds happiness ❤
The 13th point about freedom is the realest thing ever. Every time one of my exe‘s or my current boyfriend was about to break up with me I was just like: ‚then do so. I don‘t want to force anyone to be with me. Leave if you like‘ and then they immediately switch topics. It‘s a weird behavior.
My boyfriend of 2 years was so nice and honest and told me he loves me but is a broken man , and doesn't want to hurt me, and will never marry. Well we are still together and he is still broken and tells me ,I should find another man , it breaks my heart when he tells me this. I don't understand why... He tells me he loves me ... And he treats me like a Queen, very affectionate, but now I noticed his eyes look at other women , especially beautiful women. It's sad that I have too feel like he's over me ,but stays because he doesn't want to be Alone.😢
Well let's stop looking at what his needs and wants are. What do you want? Do you want marriage? Are you okay when he looks at beautiful women that isn't you? Then make that decision for yourself. He doesn't owe you stability, loyalty, you owe it to yourself to find your own happiness
He's making excuses because he has found someone else already or has another one in the list. It's hard but value yourself and put your broken pieces together and JUST RUN. You'll see how you'll feel good yourself a bit later and with this experience you'll find another man who REALLY loves you.
I am a mature woman in my 50’s all of this is true!!!!!!!!!! I live with men in a shared house. Their freedom and independence is everything I agree with this totally. My freedom and independence means everything to me too so that’s why I understand. We are just housemates by the way.
Number 4 is the ultimate male blackpill for me tbh. Knowing that a future husband will drop me in our middle age if he ever gets into money, that our life built together and love means nothing, that he only loved me for my youth...its just too heartbreaking. I'd rather be single or with a woman since im bisexual(if I could find one, the ones around me are straight or married lesbians.).
All I do is navigate my way through the world... Doing my best, moment-to-moment, to endure the least amount of suffering as possible... And I keep doing that every day, just waiting to die. There's no joy, no hope, no happiness in my life. It's just pain and trauma and survival and misery. My heart is shattered. Rage and grief consume every cell of my being.
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him. Psalm 28:7 May Lord bless you and keep, let His face shine upon you and give you peace. Wait in the Lord Jesus, He is coming soon.
There are so much beauty, wonder, and miracles in this world. The fact that we exist is such a miraculous phenomenon. Life is precious. Don't spend it on suffering. Fill your heart with love, empathy, and compassion. Love yourself and love others. You will be complete on your own and you do not need others' love to love yourself. I hope you will find peace, joy, and love. May God bless you❤
It's true. My husband married me (I was a really good option) I made more money than him at the time. Had children, I stayed home as the MOM. He had no value of what it takes to raise kids. I move to different locations for his career. He didn't care and left us. We were facing homelessness because of him. Yes, I was the nice wife. Good, dedicated mother. and he didn't care about any of it. When he made serious money, he was getting attention from younger girls and wanted to do the midlife crisis thing. His BFF helped talk him into it. This is sooo sad. My daugther has never recovered from this.
As a teen, I find this advices very true but it's also hard to act normal. I act very carefree of who I am, but yet men gets bored of me because of my constant happiness around them. Lastly, I act very obessive, clingy, and possessive just to keep them around the walls and how I like it. At the end, they luckily slipped through the walls and never came back. Love has taken a toll on me and I distract myself by drowning in books.
This was the most honest and truthful video ive ever seen on this subject. I've been in a toxic relationship for 14 years and everything in this video he has done, when I told him it was over and I knew he was cheating , he promised to change, bagged for me to stay and within a year we had our first daughter. He did not change, it was still toxic and got progressively worse while still saying that he loves me and wants to live his life with me. I recently found out that he has cheated on me and hes constantly on social media accounts asking women for nude photos in exchange for money and on snapchat. we now have 3 girls under 10 years old, he yells at me infront of them, tells me im a bad mom because I work full time, talks down to me and blames me for every problem that happens. I know that i deserve better but i'm unsure how to actually initiate it without confrontation, I want to take my daughters with me without confrontation but I know there will be. I'm just trying to gain the courage i think, if i was by myself i could leave a lot easier...i think because i have the girls im convincing myself to stay
Always remember, As a 19 year old, for me You are one of the strongest women ❤️ 🥹 You are literally a winner as a women I adore you so much 💓 🫂🫂🫂 All power to you Find peace, looking at your daughters and travelling ✨️ Love from India 🙏
He sounds like a narcissist. Make a plan and leave with your children before they are mentally affected by this. Believe me.. It really does affect the children and can lead to complex ptsd. Don't tell him you are leaving and have family and friends to support you at the beginning until you feel free and safe. He will not change.. They get worse with age. 😢
Please leave him asap! its not worth it as well as mentally and physically dangerous and destroying for you and your children You have a job, show him that you can take care of things better without him, you can only heal when you’re not with him!
Though being a teenage girl who had been in a situationship I'm writing this hoping it might help someone out there.All I've learnt is that when you are the one who pursue him the most, always look out for him, agree to what ever he says by thinking that this is how he'll fall for you, you're mistaken! He'll use u to satisfy his insecure self by getting the sympathy that he always gets from you for free. So never be obsessed with him no matter how much you like him just let him step up for you. And as it is said in the video, "if he considers you as the diamond as you are, he'll never treat you like an ordinary stone". Hope this will help some women:) much love to all the women out there
Sobering truth. I knew a woman who had been a housewife her entire life and believed so strongly that her business leader husband was absolutely faithful. I often thoutht that her husband did a remarkable job at deceiving her, probably out of love. He was staying in Paris she, where I live.
@@jzwalz51robin45 The problem is, the wife in my little story probably believes that she is happily married to her husband, while he lives in Paris, working at fancy job all on his own, coming home only one or two weekends home. Happiness is not knowing the truth! Oh, he still looks good whereas she looks somewhat like his mother. Guess what he is up to in Paris when he is not working..
@bomcdowell-kim9194 Long distance marriage is always a red flag. I never believe in it. They want to keep a cheap or free labor faithful wifey so they can come back anytime at old age. Those guys are mostly yucky in my book. Demand respects and time. If he doesn't fulfill it, dump him. I wouldn't be faithful to this type of guys. In general, women often have soft hearts, that's how we got taken advantage of. The truth is men love gold diggers, because gold diggers are consistent and love themselves more than men. Gold diggers are often good looking. Why? They don't give a sh!t about those men, they take the money and gone. They are numbed and desensitized to the situations like surgeons.
Doesn't justify the expectation, does it? When you encounter unreasonable expectations from ANYBODY, it is time to set boundaries and have frank conversations - with respect.
I 'm 19 year old girl I can understand and relate to some of them They are all true and will help me❤ On may 28 , a boy who was my male friend confessed that he likes me I was confused at first , but i was also having feelings for him but not much as him He seems like a good guy After 3,4 days ,, i also confessed and then i started falling for him harder And after almost 8 to 9 days , he started ignoring me ,, like literally he replied me after 7 hours in day After 3 days , on 13th of june ,, i asked him straight , don't you like me anymore? He said i m confused ,, i was shocked ,, cause his change in behaviour was so sudden And in the same day evening ,, he said "No" My heart broke ,, it was feeling end of my life It hurted me so much ,, but now i know i have to work hard , build a career and pray for a good partner And will marry him So , gurlies i never thought he will change You never know whats going to happen in the next moment of your life So , don't expect much Work on yourself... If you have gone through any heartbreak , just level up yourself and in the end never forget to love yourself❤
@@SaveTheMessengerGlad about prioritising self and not entertain/promote unfair behaviour ultimately leading to loneliness. Unless men start to do better, they are gonna end up lonely, because there are no disposable women to ‘use’ now bec financial freedom and laws protecting all humans.
Im going to say those were not harsh realities of men it was the truth.i have subscribed to your channel because literally every single word you say is spot on.thank you for enlighting us women it's greatly appreciated! Positivity peace and love ♥️
Thanks so much for this honest, realistic video. You are spot on. It seems to me that masculine culture, that is what boys learn from other boys and later other men, is that arrogant, self-centered, self-indulgent and shallow behaviors towards women are an entitlement for men, the way “cool”men should behave. It disregards the fact that women are as much people as men are. It’s as if the culture is saying men are the favored gender and the world is theirs to play in. Coolness is all on the surface, impression management. There is disdain from men for men who are not this way, disdain for men who see women as fully human partners like they are, and who are considerate, thoughtful, looking for something deeper with women. It’s a shame that the influence of good families, where women are partners in life and not interchangeable servants, goes against the powerful tide to be “cool”. raising girls to look for a Prince does not help but unbalances the culture even more. Women are expected to behave to a higher standard so they can be controlled because they are naive. The culture is not balanced and it is cruel to both genders. Women get used and men miss out on the deeper side of relationships with good women.
”A lot of men settle down with a woman because she is the best option they can find at that moment” - How do you know as a woman if your man is going to turn out this way? What are the signs?
There are none. That’s what marriage/commitment is for. It’s for committing to each other through all of the years of changes. Literally everything in society is disposable nowadays, including other people. It’s disgusting. Some signs to look for would be: Does the man have a dog or cat. If so, how long have they had them? How do they treat them? ------ What about friends? Do they have longtime friendships?------- How do they speak about other people’s relationships? Do they speak of relationships and other people as if they are disposable?
I read that integrity is one of the best traits you can look for when looking for a new employee. I think it’s the same for romantic partners: good character is the best thing that might indicate he has the ability to stick around - integrity means he keeps his promises even when it hurts him (eg, till death do us part), impulse control, the moral disdain for women who flirt with a married man, a desire to keep sexual intimacy exclusive between you two (no porn or third party garbage is allowed to enter that sacred bond), and in general whether he acts in accordance with his own values in daily life - does he own up to scratching someone’s vehicle? Is he honest and reliable at work? Does he speak badly about others? Does he honour family bonds when that’s possible (not enmeshment but healthy respect), does he demonstrate interest in and kindness towards people he has no use for and no sexual attraction to (unattractive women, older women perhaps, weaker men, children, animals). The list could go on, but you get the picture. There’s also a list in the Bible which describes love definitively, and you can measure your relationship against it to get a marker if it’s love or not - none of us keeps the list all the time but the person you wanna trust in marriage shouldn’t be habitually aberrant from the list - it’s in 1 Corinthians 13 verse 1 if you Google that, it starts like ‘love is patient, love is kind….’ And ends with ‘love never fails’
#4 is EXACTLY what happened to me! I'm a new subscriber and I feel like everything I've heard from your channel so far is spot on. I got married at 24 and helped my ex husband through VERY difficult times. I thought that we struggled and came up together but it seems as though as soon as we were doing well he cheated w/other girls and didn't even care when I left. I was devastated for a long time bc I felt like I was loyal and a super good partner and it felt like a real betrayal. 2yrs later I'm doing alot better but I feel like I probably need to seriously evaluate and change myself for the better so as to attract better more compatible men when/if I ever get into a relationship...
You’re definitely my favourite coach, so smart, rational, empathetic and realistic! Also loved that you mentioned the point about X-rated content cause it’s so true! And harmful to the brain and interpersonal relationships 🙏 Thanks for this video and all your others, bless you 🌸🌻
My father way back in 1927 met my mother and had eyes only for her. They married jn 1929, had 3 children. Until my mother went to be with the Lord 1971. I married in 1963 after 30 years of marriage my husband said to me .... there is no one better than you. We were married 47 years until he went to be with the Lord. No stupid business about being bored. Just two people, meaning what they say and saying what they mean. People today...... one little thing. Pack up and leave. Shallow and meaningless. They have not a clue what marriage means. How serious it id to take your vows before Almighty God.. never ever to be broken.
This is the kind of marriage my Grandparents had. They took vows more seriously than many do today. They went through difficult times in life, both before and during the marriage. I think it made them appreciate good times and true devotion to each other. They experienced WW2, escaping from it, and coming to America, and building a good life from scratch. Having a fight and dropping each other over something trivial seemed, for them, to be a completely absurd and immature notion.
@@joanneblack7697 my parents went thtough world war I and Ii. We did not have much. Had a good meal, Godly parents and a warm loving home. From nothing my both brothers were brilliant, got bursaries, graduated BSc. MSc PHd MBA and became leaders. My one brother saw the carnage in dry dock of the ships caused by salt and set about looking for a solution to this ptoblem. He worked on it for a long time and developed a paint that no salt water would have an effect on and so it is. Used all over the world. When a man and woman fell in love. He would ask permission from the Father, ask the lady. They got engaged, married in church. Devoted to one another. Marriage is a very serious blood covenant before the Lord. Girls were virgins. No thought ever of divorce. No slutting around. A wedding ring was highly respected. No man or woman would think of ever going there. Today, bloke after bloke. Woman after woman. Lust not love. Love is a decision. You take that decision before the Lord God. It is very serious. You do not vow to a person. You vow to Almighty God. God richly bless you!
There was no fighting in the house. If you truly love someone, do you want to pick fights? No. I was married 47 years. My eldest son said to me. Mom, I don't ever remember any fights in our home. There was respect. I bet your Grandmother respected your Grandfather. Selfishness... unheard of. Men took up as leaders, were Godly. Took their families to church. Reverenced the Lord.
Thanks for your comment. The more I listened to this video the more hopelss & discouraged I felt about having a good marriage ( I'm unmarried) or dating/ relationship. What you made me realize is that this is the world's perspective and way of being in marriage and relationships and that God's way is always best and he is always able to bring change to any person or situation and that my future marriage can work if I commit it to him. I needed to hear your experience because this video was getting heavy!
@@TheElephantInTheRoom12 the first thing you must do is repent of all sin and then say Lord Jesus, I am a sinner and I need a Saviour. I now know you are the Saviour of the whole world. All those that will accept God's plan of Salvation and that is the finished work of the CROSS. PRAY THIS...I ACCEPT YOU LORD JESUS AS MY PERSONAL SAVIOUR AND I BELIEVE THE BLOOD OF JESUS, GOD'S SON, CLEANSES ME FROM ALL SIN, I AM NOW BORN AGAIN, JOHN 3 V 3 I AM A CHILD,OF GOD. ROMANS 10 V 9 AND 10. THANK YOU FATHER FOR BRINGING ME INTO THE FAMILY,OF GOD IN JESUS NAME AMEN! Father God, I ask and thank you for my wife. I want your choice for me. A Godly girl or if you are a girl, a Godly man.
Who are the mothers or fathers raising such sons (men)? You are talking about worldly ungodly men... Maybe even the majority of men but not men of God who are not self immersed and look for ways to bless, lift, and love others. This momma raised two good Godly men alone and then remarried and two selfish sons with my second self consumed spouse. The real harsh reality is this... Your myopic view leaves little hope for women who love men. You are talking about selfish self consumed men who leave a trail of heartache and are never truly happy or content. Instead of talking about what women need to understand about men why don't you talk to men about how they can understand themselves and build a life of serving others instead of waiting for others to serve them. My father's life was all about service and he was one of the happiest men I've ever known.
The difference between boy-mothers and girl-mothers tells the tale. Same as for a man, I never fully trust a woman with sons she dotes on, always something really sinister about it. Shakespeare was right.
In this video he spoke the common traits and reactions of men that good women should avoid in general. It's sadly common that many men fits the description listed in modern society. I believe this video helps women in doubt of their relationships to make right choice of leaving. So it's not very little hope for women, but better hope for future by get rid of unworthy users!
You taught me every lesson I need to learn about men in just 9 minutes. If I didn't watch your video, I will have to experience all of them to learn the lesson. And I already met one guy that is the type you mentioned in the video. Now, I know my worth. I won't commit to any men I think nice guys because they are real red flags. You will never see their true faces cuz they are too good at hiding them.
I avoided a chaser but he caught up to me and almost ruined my life. He asked me out for over 10 years, finally gave in in 2019 due to family pressure, everything changed after 6 months into dating, he became abusive and violent. Beat me up when I was pregnant and still lied about it. Nobody believed me cos he was very nice to people. The abuse didn't stop both sexual and physical abuse. Had to leave that relationship and he swore never to support me or his daughter. 3 years single and better
Not only men like to experience freedom but women too!! I love my freedom so much, hence i rather have a man that respect that too and have healthy boundary from it!
@@mehak7086 do not want to be rude and such but, you are a stranger on the internet, I am wondering, why you are so interested on my personal information and life including my country? I only can tell you a have an amazing great paying job and I live in a first world country, really won't give you more specific details since I really dont know you
I really don’t want that drama in my life. I’d rather be on my own with stability, peace and happiness. Men don’t seem worth it. I’m so happy I’m free!
Thank you for sharing all this. I realize from this that what I kept believing I saw in men is actually true. It makes me very sad and makes me realize I really should just concentrate on my life, making vast sums of money to ensure I am well-cared for, and no longer hold out hope for having the kind of love and relationship my grandparents did. I wish I'd learned all this ages ago.
Ismael ... every point you've covered is true. I am 40+ now, and these things are now obvious. At age 18 to 25, they weren't. What your Abuela says is so true! Number 3, absolutely true. Best to leave this type of relationship immediately rather than try to "work on it". This is a slow moving train wreck that will drain you if you stay. And it WILL wreck! Also, "chasers" ... how right you are! They are not chasing you because YOU are such a wonderful woman ... rather, this type of man loves "the thrill of the chase". And once the conquest is made ... game over. Young women ... please don't be fooled by this type and think the "passionate" chase is about YOU. It's really just about him ... a certain type of guy. Everything on your list is true. This does not mean that ladies should "lose all hope" and begin to "despair". It just means please be discerning. And do not believe that life, relationships and people in general will be the way things are portrayed in Fairy Tales and Rom Coms. 👍🏼
Absolutely spot on!! I have two very handsome male buddies who are chasers. Women will talk to me about how they know they are the one because they are chasing them .... Meanwhile, I try to gently explain that this is just their usual play. One is now 50 - he's been married 8 times .... He has never stayed faithful longer than the end of his honeymoon.
This is just for those, who have brothers , girl if you didn't have one , i know. You are the purest soul this world doesn't deserve, men these days are taught things by women with their limiting beliefs, so only settle where you see your standards are met , and never love a man unconditionally if he doesn't love you unconditionally NEVER. Give that unconditional love to yourself you deserve it❤
Got heartbroken just this year and having to know this late was a harsh reality for me. Dont give up your all to a man and always embrace reality rather than expectations. If a man says he is too busy for you because he is working with your future, dont pursue that relationship. Priorities plays a big roles to relationship . If he only sees you for convenience rather than a wife and a loving future, leave him before he starts "breaking" you. I lost my motivation to live and achieve my dreams during our on and offs but i am slowly healing myself after that. To those who experienced being burdened, it's alright to cry it out and talk it with your friends or to yourself. That way you slowly wake up and realize he is just a filler in your chapters. 😊
54 year old here, the last one is pure gold truth and somebody should really write a book about it, because is a hugh and deep thing worth analysing and discussing to finally learn and accept it young ladies.
Don't know much i am so new here. But one thing i set for myself is "become 🛡 shield hearted..no matter what! Don't broke yourself cry for a moment but wake up do what's needed "
'Insecure men will destroy you' Insecure men have unpredictable behaviours if you set boundaries or decide you don't need approval from him. The behaviours can range from jealousy and petty revenges, to violent words directed at you, and even physical violence near you. You end up tiptoeing around them, dumbing yourself down to appease their ego, and years later wondering what the heck happened. Stay single rather than be with an insecure partner.
Great video❤❤ As a woman, I have learned that men LOVE LOVE to receive vocalized admiration...ESPECIALLY for little things, like house chores. Be careful NOT to over praise though- he's not your 2 yr old😂
It is a mistake painting men as all the same. I’ve never known a man that “valued freedom” as you put described. I have found them to be quite clingy. I am an Aquarius so perhaps I just want more “freedom” than men. 😹
1. He wont love you unconditionally. This is the most toxic thing I've ever seen on the internet, and its truly sad. I've told everyone ive been in a serious relationship that unconditional love IS the pillar of a strong relationship. Ladies, if a guy says this, or hints at this in any way, its a giant red flag that the relationship isn't gonna be serious. Unconditional love isn't something that someone can ask for, thats true. But it should be strived to. And ive seen many people strive to it, do it, and its something I do as well. Holy shit this is a psychotic video. Couldn't even watch 1 min. Please retitle this video "Random pieces of toxic advice to random people on the internet no one should ever take seriously."
Thanks for your comment. Just wanted to let you know this point specifically comes from interviewing many married couples that have been together for decades. I'm just the messenger. You may be misunderstanding what "unconditional" means.
Guy here. I don't think women should love unconditionally either. It's how both men and women wind up in abusive relationships or look the other way when the partner is a criminal or a scumbag. I think you should be strong and walk away when it's right, and not be a beaten dog.
@@smileydog5941 Woman here. Been in a relationship over a decade. This division between people of different genders is the super messed up part. You as a self-admitted dude and myself as a self admitted chick don't have that much uncommon between us. I'm not an alien to you and you're not an alien to me. Neither is my partner. We're all people. This obsession with differences feels like thinly veiled sexism that is feeding off of itself. It's like finding division in someone of a different race or just skin color even if ethnicity is the same. I'm just baffled and creeped out by all of it. A lot of this just sounds like many people get into abusive relationships (which I have no doubt in trusting is the case. Abuse isn't anywhere near as uncommon as people think and it comes in many forms, not just bruises) and since the majority of the world is heterosexual in orientation, it will end up in generally men and women dynamics. Therefore, there is implicit bias into thinking it's all one the "female" or the "male" from both sides. I think there are a lot of people who are raised in toxic environments and reflect that. That and the sad truth that if you have been abused, you tend to seek out familiarity which leads to cognitive bias that all "x" are this way, because the person can't see the pattern they've gotten into. Which is absolutely not their fault because abuse twists the mind and requires a lot of different things to get out of it. TL;DR: A lot of people need some serious therapy. But instead we're shoving all of that onto whatever gender, genitals or appearance someone has and saying it makes them "x".
@@vixxcelacea2778 Well said, I agree. It's important to not paint any one group with a broad brush, especially in heteronormative dating. What other option would you have if you demonize the sex you would like to have a relationship with
#4 was the first point that really resonated w/me personally but after watching the whole video I'll just say that I may be saving this video to possibly show to my daughters in the future when/if I really need to talk to them about guys and then let them hear what I'm saying from a guy! This video is spot on!
My goodness I never knew a lot Both of my big brothers (apparently) made sure not one guy would approach me I found that out in my 30’s I was so mad at first but, I simply love them for what THEY thought was their station as my older brothers Harsh life never knowing love (all the this and thats) in younghood Super unbelievably passionately thankful now forever
I am so glad you mentioned the bad influence of x-rated videos on young people. I believe they damage their brains with such content as well as their perception on human relationships. All you said is correct. People search for security on the partners so yes the truth is a bit cruel. Romantic love happens in novels, life and reality have no "and they lived happily every after". Everyday is a battle and if you are alone is difficult but imagine how it is if you also carry the weight of a family. We all need to rethink our overall criteria considering human relationships I guess. Right now everything goes wrong.
WRONG!!! Wrong, wrong wrong wrong.. Or at the very least, if you want to be a Queen, then treat your man like a King. Likewise for god status. Beware of your North American cultural bias. Then imagine you are the opposite sex.. hard isn't it? You want a partnership of equals who respect and love each other, even with inevitable differences of opinion or taste, etc.
I’m very empathetic and just genuinely nice, like, I feed street animals, and feed homeless people, I don't scream, I don't fight, I respect everyone… Men always seem bothered by that. I’ve come to realize men enjoy being mistreated and they like mean women. To me that is a major red flag and just makes me feel really frustrated with the fact I’m a heterosexual woman. Women, on the other hand, love that I’m kind and they just feel safe around me, which makes sense. Men don’t make sense, that’s the truth. That's why I gave up
I am 35 yo female. I got all your list. Its true. But for me, the most danger at number 3 (an insecure man will destroy you). Insecure man never want some weak woman to bow. But they will search strong woman, make them to bow. They destroy my health, my trust, my money, my career.
I was head over heels for a man who I ,frankly, was way out of his league. He would make jabbing comments sometimes I would dismiss until one day he said I had "goat teeth". What an absolute bizarre thing to say, it didn't even offend me just made me laugh! especially when my teeth are one of my best physical assets. I get compliments on my smile frequently. That's when I realized he was #3 An insecure man will destroy you!! TIP: Write down the red flags like this ladies!! You will dismiss it in your gaga state but he said what he said! ALSO most importantly only TIME will tell you who a man is, and his ACTIONS. So take it slooow and see what he DOES only.
Men, and women actually, will treat us the way we allow ourselves to be treated. Also, Joyce Meyer says "if you want to see the true character of a person, watch how they act when they don't get their way. " That was a real eye-opener for me!
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It means a lot to me to see you want to learn about these topics.
LISTEN I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.. I GOT A RELATIONSHIP FOR JUST A MONTH AND HE DID CONTACTED WITH ME PHYSICALLY..AND THEN HE JUST RANDOMLY ENGAGED WITH ANOTHER WOMEN AND START LIVE IN WITH HER.. WTF.. I CAN'T EVEN TELL ABOUT IT TO MY PARENTS AS HE KNEW IT AND HE GOT A WOMEN WHO IS A CABIN CREW AND HAVE A BUNCH OF MONEY..I AM NOW DESTROYED.. WAS THAT A S**XUAL HARR*SMENT?
As a nurse, I have seen husbands and wives come in the morning and stay until late, every day to be at their spouse's bedside. And, these are clients who are hospitalized for months in the ICU. This is my witnessing of unconditional love.
I have witnessed that as well from people close to me. Genuine and true love is real. It’s like losing a best friend. But if that person started treating you poorly and ignored your needs, I bet your feelings for them would eventually change. But if your son/daughter did the same, you’d still love them unconditionally.
We are more than our lower selves. There is greatness within us, every challenge asks us to reach in for the gold.
I have witnessed this in Hospitals as well. How true. There is a maturity about people like this. Not an age maturity, but an emotional maturity.
@SaveTheMessenger You made me laugh in a good way. Unconditional love is for kids, parents and dogs. 😂 (Let's not forget cats, horses, goats ... 😊). It's "funny" because it's true.
You missed the point, my dear nurse. Just because they come to visit them, it doesn’t mean it’s true love. You’re too naïve and brainwashed
Only give to a man as much as he gives to you and pay attention to his actions, NOT HIS WORDS! Seriously!
I prefer words and actions to align
Yes. I had to learn the hard way to take this lesson.
I appreciate you all mentioning this. I've been learning this the hard way after 10+ years of marriage. Recently been telling my husband when he says something "what are you going to do about it?" Sounds so harsh to me personally but it's something he responds to well and it kind of pushes him in the direction to actually make changes. I would not personally recommend that style for others but we've gone through a lot and overcome a lot. I wish so much that I knew then what I know now.
I especially appreciated the beginning of his message. Ladies - take what he saya seriously! You will save yourself so much heartache and confusion. My husband and I have overcome a lot but we chose a different path than we were told to choose. It was difficult and not something I would recommend to others.
I'd like to add along with what he said about being driven: how does he handle hardship and challenges? Does he show signs of anger? Anxiety? Does he keep his head about him and seek wide counsel? Does he make wise choices? Ask for your advice? If he loses his mind over what you think is ridiculous, he WILL do this in your relationship. If he doesn't ask for your thoughts and opinions especially if it's something that relates to you or affects, he WON'T ask for your thoughts later on. He WILL make the decision without you.
So true.
Exactly, i am 48, and this is true
I stopped caring when he said, "I'll eventually commit to you." What a joke. I knew right then and there that he was not the one for me. I wasted years on that man. Never again.
Any guy who acts like he thinks he can put me on " hold for later" is deluding himself..
@@UnashamedCaliforniagirl I agree. 💯 You deserve better than that!
WOW. Just. Wow. Good on you for leaving at that point. At least you weren't co-dependent! I think we all come to our senses at some point. The personal growth journey is the most important one. When we make ourselves a priority (without being narcissistic about it) we scare off the weak, and attract the like-minded.
Researchers found that men need about 6 months to know if they want to marry someone, so if he is not sure after a long time, you are a placeholder, and that has nothing to do with your worth, he's just not the one.
@@LittleBambi777 Agreed 💯.
'A man will treat you according to the value he sees in you...AND to the value he sees in himself.'
You've got it.
None of that is true sure some guys might think that but most guys don't have that belief
What do you mean?@@omotayosatuyi252
@@kristenk708 I'm saying that guys aren't just one way
1. A man will treat you according to the value he sees in you.
2. He won't love you unconditionally.
3. Insecure man will destroy you.
4. Transformation after wealth.
5. Will lie about cheating.
6. He doesn't care about you being nice.
7. Great guy doesn't equal great husband.
8. When he has no direction in life.
9. Watch out for the chasers.
10. Will judge your body count.
11. Will replace you instantly.
12. Brainwashed by X-rated content.
13. They value freedom.
Happened with me ...broke up and ...I hate to say that I'm crying. I just wanna move on Quicker like he did with another Girl ... I wanna be Richer than him . He thinks he got money and I was only with him for money ... He wanted ONLY $exz from me And today he said clearly for him it's only $ex which means love for him ......for the sake of Self respect I have to leave the Relationship 😔. Idk but it was too much toxic for me ... I hate to say this that I loved him.... I just wanna Freaking move on Quike
Nothing is more important then Family, SELF RESPECT ,INNER PEACE ✌🏻 and SELF LOVE !
Edit: I never did $ez with him , when he literally ask for it , I instantly rejected !
RUN!
@@d-0v0-b f around and find out. May Allah give you hidaya 😑
@@jojos9788 Ameen 💗🫂
Alhamdulillah, I'm better than ever , and I have to be . For the sake of Allah ... I seriously never wanna be in these anymore ❌
Well I'm glad I'm single then!
A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white..
This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.
You wont regret it
Did you cheat on her ? Or disrespect her? Or betray her in any way?
God bless this man for warning women about man despite being a man.
He is truly is a women saver.
I am a 27 year old woman and never was in a relationship. Thanks for the advice. A lot of it is in allignment with my own observations about men in relationships.
But watching this video feels like that it's not worth it having a partner 😕😅
I'm a 27 year old woman too and never had a relationship. By the amount of pain I see my female friends in their relationships (not always the guys fault, sometimes my girlies are the red flags or both are red flags) ... it's exhausting to watch.
I doubt I'd ever be able to put up with so much bs.
I like my alone time but I dream of being in a happy relationship. The reality though is scary.
@@letstrytogetbetterokay8516 that's true
It's okay, better live a happy life than suffering with a wrong man
@@letstrytogetbetterokay8516The reality is you must go through painful experiences in a relationship and you better be prepared. Never imagine e happily ever after. That thing doesn’t exist. And with those pains, you have to continue and if you both can fight those pains together and stick to it, that's real love. But never let it be onesided and never leave the side of logic and your selfrespect. Protect your rights and also his. Don't do any odd by yourself and if he is not doing that too with you, then he is not your cup of tea
@@farzanahaquesnigdha8667no there shouldn't be pain. If both have humility life will b good n peaceful. Considering most people dont have humility (incl myself) this causes drama.
another important thing i learned is: never judge a man when women are praising and pleasing him. watch closely how he reacts when women displease him, stand up to him, draws a boundary to him, and you will find out who he really is.
been seeing this a lot in my dating life... they switch on me 180° after a while when some confrontational or serious talk comes up.
My heart hurts so much when I watched it. I made a huge mistake in my very early twenties, went dating too soon and settled too early and married a narcissist after 20 years. I've got noone to blame but myself and I wish I learned everything from your video before I got married. All I ever wanted was a husband that loves me. He never looked me the same as soon as he started earning his 6-figure sum salary and saw me as a burden and that he was better than me because he was the breadwinner. It still hurts so much to this date after I filed for the divorce because all I ever wanted was for my husband to reciprocate the love and action I gave him :(
I am 19, in my eyes
You are one of the strongest women ❤️
I appreciate your life 🫂
Love from India 💓
@@aashikumare7990 Thank you so much. It has brought tears to my eyes seeing your beautiful message because it has meant alot to me. You are such a beautiful and kind person. 💞
So sad to hear, I hope you find love and peace
It's not you it's him. I'm currently separating from my narcissist husband after 13 years and its quite painful. He throws word daggers at me and I try to think about anything else except giving him the satisfaction of a response. We have been in a love / hate, bread crumbing, love bombing cycle for years. I decided I need to seek therapy and my own peace. Time to get off this wacky roller coaster. It's not love! He's hurting me and my children. 💔
Another thing i’d like to say is guys will even commit to you just because they want your body. dont give it to them & see how they react
I agree! 💯
You mean weaponizing intimacy as a manipulative woman? But that's abuse.
@@priyankarmajumder4152How about you need to stop manipulating women about their personal lifestyles? Ever heard no marriage no ses?
What are we committing to then. Your bitchy attitude??
@@priyankarmajumder4152 men being entitled to women's bodies and pressuring them into "intimacy" is called cohesion. That's abuse and that can lead to rape
Remember, too, that men don't "love" the same way women do, and do NOT become a broke, trapped housewife and servant. You may be devoted, trust him, be giddy, expect a beautiful home, babies, family holidays, etc, but once you're seen nude, won and slept with for awhile, the man feels trapped, bored, resentful, and starts blaming the woman. He may slack off on chores, helping with the kids, be gone all day playing golf, shut up playing video games, or glued to football games, cheat because "he works all week." There are 1000 excuses, and you're a nagging B. And in the marriage alone. Ladies, l can't stress this enough: get educated, have a career, not a mere job, and set up a bank account that your husband NEVER knows about. Keep your mouth SHUT. If things go bad, you'll have a bed, roof, food, gas, and protection for your kids. Not every Mommy and Daddy will take you in, and pay your bills. And they already raised their family, and likely want to enjoy life, save for retirement, travel, and have peace. Not a sad daughter, a bunch of screaming kids and added expense. It's not fair to them, either. So! Have that secret bank account, SHUTUP about it, DON'T tell anyone, and add to the "run fund" on a regular basis. Even if you don't use it, you'll have nice savings for your retirement years. If your husband is still alive, SHUTUP about it. In the case of your ill health, put it in a specific trust (before you get ill) and have your bank pay your bills for you. And legal directives to keep THEIR mouths shut. Good luck out there!'
Great insights. Thanks for taking the time to write about your experience. I hope others here get to read it.
My husband told me more than once that "I didn't have to work". I knew differently. Working outside the home, and helping with household expenses was valuable in many ways. Now that he has passed, and I am retired the decisions I made years ago were proven correct. As Tina Turner would sing, "What's Love Got to Do With It?"
And, not only do you contribute something, but you have self respect, and are treated more as a valued equal. No man wants to come home to a resentful wife, or one who can only talk about soap operas, the kids, Hollywood gossip, or what's up with Mama. Ugh!
@@SaveTheMessengerExperience? Not personally. My hubs and l just celebrated our 50 year anniversary. It's more a conclusion from what I' ve heard professionally over time. Love your channel, and solid advice!
Best advice ever. ❤ The "run fund" advice is genius, necessary and solid. It's also a good idea for financial reasons. You never ever know what can happen in life. Illness and death can happen to a spouse. My mother was widowed and left with 2 children to raise 10 and 12.
3. Insecure men will destroy you
Hindsight is 20/20. I experienced this more than once, unfortunately
Stay strong gurl. Don't let him ruin your precious life
This Is so true!! Stau away Front insecure Guys.
This type try to pull energy from others to make them richer, more power ...
run
My partner wanted my sexy curves to go away by making to put on weight, so that no other man would look at me. He used to tell me that it was my USP, ultimate selling point.
I was in a relationship with a toxic man for almost 3 years. He had no ambitions in life, all he wanted was temporary pleasures in life. Now, when he finally got a reality check in life, he started regretting his decision to play around with me, he keeps coming back asking for chances. Even though I loved him deeply, I know a man like him, can never actually realize their mistake. He needs me now because he is not getting the unconditional love I was giving him back then. Again, longing for temporary pleasures.
My husband passed away last year we did both love each other unconditionally ❤
I am so sorry for your loss! That is a hard thing to experience, and I hope you will keep your heart open to experiencing that again in the future. Every love is different and no-one will replace the unique individual who was so close to you. That said, you can experience that love again, in another flavor, when you have grieved and are ready to.
Im so sorry about it. The people who better die won't die!
@@Negin_arts93😂 like my in-laws , nothing ever happens to my evil inlaws
@@Negin_arts93my evil sister in laws uffff they are too happy uff uff nothing bad s happening to them
@@Negin_arts93my sister inaws uffff nothing bad s happening to them ufff
This is horrible.😢I think I rather stay single for the rest of my life.
Yes, it sounds horrible bc he’s painting all men as the same. They are not all the same just as women are not all the same.
Who are the women raising such sons???
@monalisa2662 why? Fathers don't raise sons too? It's funny that almost universally, the kids are the legacy of the fathers and take their names. But the kid does something bad, and all of a.sudden we find a.woman to blame. Even women hate.women this much.
@@STak-ju7gx Certainly the fathers too. I was raised and raised my children full time while my father and their fathres worked full time so I was speaking from my own reference point.Nothing but love for the fathers... I had a wonderful father! He was working 80+ hours a week though and I saw much less of him than my mother.
Same girl. Males are demonic. Like, why even bother for such a creature? Thank God I’m bi.
I am a woman ♀️ and I value my freedom and personal space 😂. I personally have experienced more " smothering" by men than I have tried to smother men.
I totally get it. I've been single for long time and now I am too addicted to my freedom and personal space. I've met men who immeditally insisted we meet on regular basis and hear each other every day, and I felt it was too much for me, at least for just the beginning while I don't even know them. They all left when I said I am not ready for that kind of commitment yet and I need time to get to know them. Some of them were really angry and pissed of like I insulted them by saying that.
@@biljam972 Now that's an excellent way to scare off the ones that only want, well you know what 😂😂😂
❤
Glad to know there’s women like you! I’m a Woman who loves her space too and hates being smothered as well 😂
Same here!!
Same
If there is no real love, there is no point.
There is true love, we can remeber it inside our souls. We know!
Luckily we don't have to rely on men for finances anymore
@@zathenhcambidestem-iliv2464 Yes, we know and we are willing to wait for it, not chase it, unlike men who will saddle up and settle down with whomever and whatever they fancy.
Probably not in hetero relationships… not that I have see thus far
There is no such thing, love romantically is based on mutual benefits, these being emotional or physical, true love would mean that you put the other needs and values further than yours which will destroy you.
About truth #1. So basically I think it says a lot about men's character if they only treat you well if they like you. How about treat someone with respect because it's the decent thing to do 😐
Yup. Like Ismael says, his own intentions are not clear to himself. This sounds like immaturity. Also, just because someone treats you and others with decency ... it does not necessarily mean he loves you.
So you're basically asking for fake love? Would you want your man to treat all women equally even though he says he loves you the most? wtf
@@realheckertrustmebro Who's talking about love? I think doing what you say you are going to do is called integrity. It's not love to be a decent human being. Treating someone well should just be how you treat people.
@@happygolucky9004 agreed. i'm sry, i misunderstood.
@@realheckertrustmebro No worries, glad we are on the same page. Thank you for asking a question 😊
some men are born to fool around never satisfied whatever the woman is good
This is so unfortunate. But then when they are sick and dying they wish they had a woman nearby. I seen it all. Some men are womenizers. Sad
I am like this
I dont want to live a long time either
@@jockamofeno7632You may end up living a very long time..simply because you don’t want to..
@@melt2947 All of the times when Id be laying in bed next to my girl, I knew I was already alone
My inner world, my emotional turmoil and suffering, this would send her packing. And every time Ive gotten comfortable enough to be vulnerable, the abuse would start, and then Id be discarded. So I know now in retrospect that the woman was never *with me*
She just wanted to have me *with her*
Ive been through alot, and this is how it goes every single time.
@@jockamofeno7632 i hope my friends and i never have the great pleasure of encountering a person like u. i will pray everyday that god blesses me to stay away from people like u😊
"Secure men will never chase you". Wow that is an eye opener for me that is so true. This was an excellent list and I have experienced the truth of quite a few of these.
A man that loves you truly, sees value in you and wants to have you in his life will chase you. Secure or not secure has no business with that.
no false, when I love a woman I go Approach her and she give me energy that I need to prove or to chase her its means. She doesn't like me back , men don't waste time on women who say u need to chase them. They are vampires they will consume your energy, your time, giving you fake Hope's that one day you gonna be with her after proving your self 😂 , it's a lie, when a woman truly love the men she love him back instantly 😊
@@BoldAgentMedia Secure men have lots of women at their feet. Theyre attractive. Nobody's fault, just the cruelty of nature
@@BoldAgentMedia once men start chasing women ,women see him as subssive and leave 😃 women care who do not want them because of narcisst
This is 100% true. Successful men never chase women.
I was 29 and had been set up to date a man who was 40. I've never dated before nor had physical intimacy with anyone. Nor had this man who was 40. I thought someone of that age would be mature, so I gave it a try. He said if im scared of sex, dont bother contacting him, so i didn't.
You did the right thing.
Wtf ...
😓
I love how you handled that
Only date a man older than you 5 years as max!
We need secular communities where women can live together, particularly in middle or old age, supporting one another and getting help together. Living alone is fine but not practical in later life.
That's one reason for having a family.
@@faodail3913 Family members can pass on, or move away, or let you down in many ways ... It's not always the solution.
I would not want to live in an all female community 🤢
The pettiness and passive aggressiveness would be off the chart.
love that idea❤
Just to add that there are single men too, who gave up. A community of mildly cynical singles, past their prime would be amusing.
Definitely harsh. Hardly seems possible to find a good man. Maybe better to just learn to go it alone
@@martinlacunza5250 I was with my late husband for 41 years, never with anyone else. I suppose it’s not possible to find love twice in a lifetime
@@martinlacunza5250 so to you, if a someone only ever had sex with their spouse after marriage and that spouse dies young... the surviving one is no longer a good person? 😐 how irrationally and unnecessarily judgmental, which is not a trait of any good man would have or not one any good woman desires. Genuinely hope that gets better for you at some point, as you might have a long way to go if you genuinely have nothing more productive to do with your time than comment on RUclips videos intended for straight women.
You can always partner with other women! Even platonically and in a sisterly way! Living and working only with other women most of one's life was normal until the last few hundred years, interestingly...
@@Nathanea21Please do not entertain the internet trolls. They know what they're saying is stupid
@@epona1525this makes zero sense, what??
Nr 7: When he has no direction in life. I just got out of a 3 year long relationship with a man that has absolutely no dedication or purpose in life. I changed countries for that man and sadly I figured it out when it was too late. Signs where there from the beginning. Don’t try to change a man. It will never work
True. It took my mom almost 17 years to walk away from a cheating husband. A couple of years later, she met my step-father. They shared more than 10 years together before my mom passed. Just a couple of months later, he had moved in with another woman!
This has happened with other family and friends. Less than year after losing their wives, they're marrying someone else.
Some men & women don’t like living/being alone especially over 50. My uncle is now married to wife #5. She will bury him.
It's a lot more important whether or not he was faithful while she was alive. Starting a new relationship soon after losing someone could just mean they are deeply lonely and can't face being alone. When you have been in a long term relationship and are used to always having a partner there to talk to and eat with and so on, just being alone can feel like torture.
@@gentlegiants04 The fact that they married so fast made everybody wonder if they were...
I've noticed that too, they just can't stand to be alone they need somebody to have sex with. It's not even about love. They don't even grieve their deceased wives, already moving on and looking for some easy target.
@@kleinschmitterling men seem to have issues being alone whereas women like to be alone and discover themselves again
#1 hit me hard. My husband has been raging on me the last few months out of the blue. He's been impatient and unkind. I have not known what was going on until a few nights ago when I felt prompted to look at his phone. About the time this behaviour started, he began watching inappropriate videos on RUclips of women in various stages of dress, or in skimpy clothing... so ya, I would say that he no longer is seeing me as his wife, but an object... extremely hurtful. I don't know how we are going to recover from this. Better to be alone than with someone who will betray me, though. We'll see how he responds when confronted with it when the time is right....
Without delay please contact loved ones you can trust 100% to keep a secret and take your side, gather all the money you can access together in an account he can't reach, and make steps to leave to a secure location without a trace and without letting him know. Confrontation could endanger your life, and this abuser who's trapped you is not worth fighting for nor redeeming. If you need support or pointers, use a library/work/cafe computer or someone else's phone to get on forums and call local helplines or a shelter.
good luck girl how did it go
Don't confront, men like this aren't worth the effort
girl good luck. if shit hits the fan pack up and dont look back.
So sorry to read this
I can't find content that will help me stop wanting a healthy romantic relationship. It's never going to happen, it's an unrealistic want, and it distracts from personal growth. No one can tell me how to tell my heart to stop wanting it, even though that heart has been broken multiple times and is sick of it. Fellow ladies, throw me a bone. I'm desperate.
It's normal to want a healthy romantic relationship and it's not impossible. Sure there are assholes but there is also nice people, you just have to try and find them that's how it is
Assholes aren't worth your energy, rotten men aren't. People existing to play you is a problem with them not you. You manifest your reality and you have to stop telling yourself that having a healthy relationship is impossible because that's what you'll get. You have to stop needing love, yeah you can want it but the need is how you undervalue yourself and put your self worth in these men and relationships. You are the most important person in your universe and have to treat yourself as such. Don't settle for rodent men, don't settle for people that won't give you the time energy or respect and fill your heart and life with happiness and experience. The time won't matter because you're putting that value in yourself and your respect for yourself with mirror out into other people especially men that will also respect you. Destroy your mindset, reframe it, and continue to be hopeful
gurl im gay, wanna be with me? 😂💍
@@adu_adure1266 Thank you, I was needed to hear these words❤
Gurl… stop watching rom-com movies, romance book and all those stuff that keep telling you mythical stuff exists in reality… these things will give you that idea, instead of that think about self development and how you can make yourself strong in every possible aspect and become the kind of gurl that is a blessing to a guy, a gurl if let go by the guy will be nothing but a disadvantage to him, nothing affects you tho… imagine being that powerful, get the taste of that power yet🙂
I have two brothers. Neither of them ever jumped from girl to girl. My brothers are not " stereotypical guys" though.
Mine is the same, he's looking for a "good girl" after being cheated on many times... He's handsome tho.
my brother does jump from girl to girl and i find it funny how some girls still have a crush on him cause many of them approach me in order to reach my brother i try to warn them but if they dont wanna understad i let them have their lesson leraned the hard way
We gotta just hook each other up with our brothers ig lol
Maybe they never tell you about their reality , 😮
Or you could be correct
@@danielle-bi3tkhey my brother had the same issue in my brothers youth
Thank you Gomez, well constructed video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
Um...What in the twilight zone is going on here...?
@@kleiokaleidoscope9248😂
It is an elaborated ad scheme here on RUclips underneath dating related videos. Account 1 speaks relatable about heartache, account 2 consoles and mentions a pricey counselor with an online service. Account 3 acknowledges it's value. In the case above someone might have reported account 2 which then has been removed leaving a gap in the fake convo.
Number 4 is true . My parents married young when my father didn’t have a lot of money so they both worked. My mom always wanted to be a stay at home mom but my dad made her work. I remember my dad telling me when I was born he picked up a second job just so my mom could stay with me longer when I was born. After she went back to work. Fast forward my parents are in their 40s and my father is the main provider and my mother no longer works. I can tell he quite resents her … I remember seeing him talk down to her as if she was a child in public very demeaning .. I also remember when I was younger accidentally snooping and seeing he has another secret instagram page just following girls. Now that he is in his 40s he’s having a midlife crisis and doing all the things he couldn’t do when he was younger.. you’re so right
Thank you for sharing an honest story. ❤ It's interesting to hear your perspective.
That put tears in my eyes. Kinda hit close to home. But one good thing is that you are aware and seem mature enough to learn from this. I hope your mom finds happiness ❤
Yo my parents are like this
Ig everyone's parents are like this it seems...
The 13th point about freedom is the realest thing ever. Every time one of my exe‘s or my current boyfriend was about to break up with me I was just like: ‚then do so. I don‘t want to force anyone to be with me. Leave if you like‘ and then they immediately switch topics. It‘s a weird behavior.
My boyfriend of 2 years was so nice and honest and told me he loves me but is a broken man , and doesn't want to hurt me, and will never marry.
Well we are still together and he is still broken and tells me ,I should find another man , it breaks my heart when he tells me this.
I don't understand why... He tells me he loves me ... And he treats me like a Queen, very affectionate, but now I noticed his eyes look at other women , especially beautiful women.
It's sad that I have too feel like he's over me ,but stays because he doesn't want to be Alone.😢
Leave him, you're wasting your time and energy, but it's upto you whether you have respect for yourself or not
Well let's stop looking at what his needs and wants are.
What do you want? Do you want marriage? Are you okay when he looks at beautiful women that isn't you? Then make that decision for yourself. He doesn't owe you stability, loyalty, you owe it to yourself to find your own happiness
He is warning you of what’s to come. Run far opposite before he breaks you and you will never be the same.
He's making excuses because he has found someone else already or has another one in the list. It's hard but value yourself and put your broken pieces together and JUST RUN. You'll see how you'll feel good yourself a bit later and with this experience you'll find another man who REALLY loves you.
Dont let somebody treat you as an option
Ladies live your life. Don't compromise for a man.
I am a mature woman in my 50’s all of this is true!!!!!!!!!!
I live with men in a shared house. Their freedom and independence is everything
I agree with this totally.
My freedom and independence means everything to me too so that’s why I understand.
We are just housemates by the way.
Number 4 is the ultimate male blackpill for me tbh. Knowing that a future husband will drop me in our middle age if he ever gets into money, that our life built together and love means nothing, that he only loved me for my youth...its just too heartbreaking. I'd rather be single or with a woman since im bisexual(if I could find one, the ones around me are straight or married lesbians.).
Yeah there's terrible black pills for both sexes. Oh well. Hope you find someone nice one day
Don’t be with a woman , it’s still the same thing .
All I do is navigate my way through the world...
Doing my best, moment-to-moment,
to endure the least amount of suffering as possible...
And I keep doing that every day, just waiting to die.
There's no joy, no hope, no happiness in my life.
It's just pain and trauma and survival and misery.
My heart is shattered.
Rage and grief consume every cell of my being.
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him. Psalm 28:7
May Lord bless you and keep, let His face shine upon you and give you peace.
Wait in the Lord Jesus, He is coming soon.
What happened why are you suffering?
Girl this made me cry 😢 please try something new, focus on God friends or charity.
There are so much beauty, wonder, and miracles in this world. The fact that we exist is such a miraculous phenomenon. Life is precious. Don't spend it on suffering. Fill your heart with love, empathy, and compassion. Love yourself and love others. You will be complete on your own and you do not need others' love to love yourself. I hope you will find peace, joy, and love. May God bless you❤
It's true. My husband married me (I was a really good option) I made more money than him at the time. Had children, I stayed home as the MOM. He had no value of what it takes to raise kids. I move to different locations for his career. He didn't care and left us. We were facing homelessness because of him. Yes, I was the nice wife. Good, dedicated mother. and he didn't care about any of it. When he made serious money, he was getting attention from younger girls and wanted to do the midlife crisis thing. His BFF helped talk him into it. This is sooo sad. My daugther has never recovered from this.
Story sounds similar to mine it's uncanny...
So avoid shallow people with no sense of responsibility and really insecure ones. Got it. 🤓
That's as simple as it is. Good on you for keeping a level head.
As a teen, I find this advices very true but it's also hard to act normal. I act very carefree of who I am, but yet men gets bored of me because of my constant happiness around them. Lastly, I act very obessive, clingy, and possessive just to keep them around the walls and how I like it. At the end, they luckily slipped through the walls and never came back. Love has taken a toll on me and I distract myself by drowning in books.
This is the most honest video I’ve heard concerning men. Thank you for this
I appreciate you took the time to leave such a lovely comment.
This was the most honest and truthful video ive ever seen on this subject. I've been in a toxic relationship for 14 years and everything in this video he has done, when I told him it was over and I knew he was cheating , he promised to change, bagged for me to stay and within a year we had our first daughter. He did not change, it was still toxic and got progressively worse while still saying that he loves me and wants to live his life with me. I recently found out that he has cheated on me and hes constantly on social media accounts asking women for nude photos in exchange for money and on snapchat. we now have 3 girls under 10 years old, he yells at me infront of them, tells me im a bad mom because I work full time, talks down to me and blames me for every problem that happens. I know that i deserve better but i'm unsure how to actually initiate it without confrontation, I want to take my daughters with me without confrontation but I know there will be. I'm just trying to gain the courage i think, if i was by myself i could leave a lot easier...i think because i have the girls im convincing myself to stay
Always remember,
As a 19 year old, for me
You are one of the strongest women ❤️ 🥹
You are literally a winner as a women
I adore you so much 💓 🫂🫂🫂
All power to you
Find peace, looking at your daughters and travelling ✨️
Love from India 🙏
He sounds like a narcissist. Make a plan and leave with your children before they are mentally affected by this. Believe me.. It really does affect the children and can lead to complex ptsd. Don't tell him you are leaving and have family and friends to support you at the beginning until you feel free and safe. He will not change.. They get worse with age. 😢
Please leave him asap! its not worth it as well as mentally and physically dangerous and destroying for you and your children
You have a job, show him that you can take care of things better without him, you can only heal when you’re not with him!
Though being a teenage girl who had been in a situationship I'm writing this hoping it might help someone out there.All I've learnt is that when you are the one who pursue him the most, always look out for him, agree to what ever he says by thinking that this is how he'll fall for you, you're mistaken! He'll use u to satisfy his insecure self by getting the sympathy that he always gets from you for free. So never be obsessed with him no matter how much you like him just let him step up for you. And as it is said in the video, "if he considers you as the diamond as you are, he'll never treat you like an ordinary stone".
Hope this will help some women:) much love to all the women out there
I WAS SAYING THE SAME THINGS TOO …BUT THANK YOU FOR VOICING OUT THE TRUTH ABOUT MEN ….WE LOVE A TRUTH TELLER ALWAYS .
Sobering truth. I knew a woman who had been a housewife her entire life and believed so strongly that her business leader husband was absolutely faithful. I often thoutht that her husband did a remarkable job at deceiving her, probably out of love. He was staying in Paris she, where I live.
Sobering truth: there are marriages that are successes out there...
@@jzwalz51robin45 The problem is, the wife in my little story probably believes that she is happily married to her husband, while he lives in Paris, working at fancy job all on his own, coming home only one or two weekends home. Happiness is not knowing the truth! Oh, he still looks good whereas she looks somewhat like his mother. Guess what he is up to in Paris when he is not working..
Was he faithful or not? Or you don’t know.
@bomcdowell-kim9194 Long distance marriage is always a red flag. I never believe in it. They want to keep a cheap or free labor faithful wifey so they can come back anytime at old age. Those guys are mostly yucky in my book. Demand respects and time. If he doesn't fulfill it, dump him. I wouldn't be faithful to this type of guys.
In general, women often have soft hearts, that's how we got taken advantage of. The truth is men love gold diggers, because gold diggers are consistent and love themselves more than men. Gold diggers are often good looking. Why? They don't give a sh!t about those men, they take the money and gone. They are numbed and desensitized to the situations like surgeons.
Do NOT settle for a man who avoids intimacy. I learned this the hard way.
“Don’t expect unconditional love from your man in a romantic relationship.”
Why?, men expect unconditional love from their women every day
I put myself as an example that men shouldn't expect that as well.
Doesn't justify the expectation, does it? When you encounter unreasonable expectations from ANYBODY, it is time to set boundaries and have frank conversations - with respect.
For that, they can go to their Momma
Just don't give it to em.
No point
Men are the most entitled creatures on earth, they expect EVERYTHING and when they don't get it they throw tantrums and become abusive. Write offs.
At #8……. This is starting to feel like finding a needle in a haystack 😖🥴
😆☺
I 'm 19 year old girl
I can understand and relate to some of them
They are all true and will help me❤
On may 28 , a boy who was my male friend confessed that he likes me
I was confused at first , but i was also having feelings for him but not much as him
He seems like a good guy
After 3,4 days ,, i also confessed and then i started falling for him harder
And after almost 8 to 9 days , he started ignoring me ,, like literally he replied me after 7 hours in day
After 3 days , on 13th of june ,, i asked him straight , don't you like me anymore?
He said i m confused ,, i was shocked ,, cause his change in behaviour was so sudden
And in the same day evening ,, he said "No"
My heart broke ,, it was feeling end of my life
It hurted me so much ,, but now i know i have to work hard , build a career and pray for a good partner
And will marry him
So , gurlies i never thought he will change
You never know whats going to happen in the next moment of your life
So , don't expect much
Work on yourself...
If you have gone through any heartbreak , just level up yourself and in the end never forget to love yourself❤
I am so glad we are getting to the point where we are leaving men absolutely lonely. Please get it together.
You're glad about making other people feel lonely?
@@SaveTheMessengerwhat if more than half of all women decided to be single? You couldnt ever force them to fix a loneliness issue
@@SaveTheMessengerGlad about prioritising self and not entertain/promote unfair behaviour ultimately leading to loneliness. Unless men start to do better, they are gonna end up lonely, because there are no disposable women to ‘use’ now bec financial freedom and laws protecting all humans.
That means more lonely women too. You go down with the ship
Women need to start looking in the mirror in a different way 😅 u don't get it.
Im going to say those were not harsh realities of men it was the truth.i have subscribed to your channel because literally every single word you say is spot on.thank you for enlighting us women it's greatly appreciated! Positivity peace and love ♥️
Thanks so much for this honest, realistic video. You are spot on. It seems to me that masculine culture, that is what boys learn from other boys and later other men, is that arrogant, self-centered, self-indulgent and shallow behaviors towards women are an entitlement for men, the way “cool”men should behave. It disregards the fact that women are as much people as men are. It’s as if the culture is saying men are the favored gender and the world is theirs to play in. Coolness is all on the surface, impression management. There is disdain from men for men who are not this way, disdain for men who see women as fully human partners like they are, and who are considerate, thoughtful, looking for something deeper with women. It’s a shame that the influence of good families, where women are partners in life and not interchangeable servants, goes against the powerful tide to be “cool”. raising girls to look for a Prince does not help but unbalances the culture even more. Women are expected to behave to a higher standard so they can be controlled because they are naive. The culture is not balanced and it is cruel to both genders. Women get used and men miss out on the deeper side of relationships with good women.
I can’t express my gratitude enough.
I feel the same 👍
This comment just says it all
Well said!!
@@user-hj6hl6yc4c Read "Semen: Men's Chemical War on Women". It says it all.
”A lot of men settle down with a woman because she is the best option they can find at that moment” - How do you know as a woman if your man is going to turn out this way? What are the signs?
There are none. That’s what marriage/commitment is for. It’s for committing to each other through all of the years of changes. Literally everything in society is disposable nowadays, including other people. It’s disgusting. Some signs to look for would be: Does the man have a dog or cat. If so, how long have they had them? How do they treat them? ------ What about friends? Do they have longtime friendships?------- How do they speak about other people’s relationships? Do they speak of relationships and other people as if they are disposable?
I read that integrity is one of the best traits you can look for when looking for a new employee. I think it’s the same for romantic partners: good character is the best thing that might indicate he has the ability to stick around - integrity means he keeps his promises even when it hurts him (eg, till death do us part), impulse control, the moral disdain for women who flirt with a married man, a desire to keep sexual intimacy exclusive between you two (no porn or third party garbage is allowed to enter that sacred bond), and in general whether he acts in accordance with his own values in daily life - does he own up to scratching someone’s vehicle? Is he honest and reliable at work? Does he speak badly about others? Does he honour family bonds when that’s possible (not enmeshment but healthy respect), does he demonstrate interest in and kindness towards people he has no use for and no sexual attraction to (unattractive women, older women perhaps, weaker men, children, animals). The list could go on, but you get the picture.
There’s also a list in the Bible which describes love definitively, and you can measure your relationship against it to get a marker if it’s love or not - none of us keeps the list all the time but the person you wanna trust in marriage shouldn’t be habitually aberrant from the list - it’s in 1 Corinthians 13 verse 1 if you Google that, it starts like ‘love is patient, love is kind….’ And ends with ‘love never fails’
@@ec1222 Even though a heart yearns for a husband like this, the person you describe doesn't exist in real life 😔
How do they speak of others' goals, and mistakes, and others' reruns?
@@BurcuKyarGokkayadisagreed.
A secure man will never chase. Thanks for the reminder and your videos.
Love from Germany
Much appreciated.
I don't understand what this means ?
#4 is EXACTLY what happened to me! I'm a new subscriber and I feel like everything I've heard from your channel so far is spot on. I got married at 24 and helped my ex husband through VERY difficult times. I thought that we struggled and came up together but it seems as though as soon as we were doing well he cheated w/other girls and didn't even care when I left. I was devastated for a long time bc I felt like I was loyal and a super good partner and it felt like a real betrayal. 2yrs later I'm doing alot better but I feel like I probably need to seriously evaluate and change myself for the better so as to attract better more compatible men when/if I ever get into a relationship...
You’re definitely my favourite coach, so smart, rational, empathetic and realistic!
Also loved that you mentioned the point about X-rated content cause it’s so true! And harmful to the brain and interpersonal relationships 🙏
Thanks for this video and all your others, bless you 🌸🌻
Your comment made me smile. I appreciate you.
As a female who got replaced instantly after putting a lot of efforts on someone.....I lost all of my faith for this 'men' word.
My father way back in 1927 met my mother and had eyes only for her. They married jn 1929, had 3 children. Until my mother went to be with the Lord 1971. I married in 1963 after 30 years of marriage my husband said to me .... there is no one better than you. We were married 47 years until he went to be with the Lord. No stupid business about being bored. Just two
people, meaning what they say and saying what they mean. People today...... one little thing. Pack up and leave. Shallow
and meaningless. They have not a clue what marriage means. How serious it id to take your vows before Almighty God..
never ever to be broken.
This is the kind of marriage my Grandparents had. They took vows more seriously than many do today.
They went through difficult times in life, both before and during the marriage. I think it made them appreciate good times and true devotion to each other. They experienced WW2, escaping from it, and coming to America, and building a good life from scratch. Having a fight and dropping each other over something trivial seemed, for them, to be a completely absurd and immature notion.
@@joanneblack7697 my parents went thtough world war I and Ii. We did not have much. Had a good meal, Godly parents and a warm loving home. From nothing my both brothers were brilliant, got bursaries, graduated BSc. MSc PHd MBA
and became leaders. My one brother saw the carnage in dry dock of the ships caused by salt and set about looking for a solution to this ptoblem. He worked on it for a long time and developed a paint that no salt water would have an effect on and so it is. Used all over the world. When a man and woman fell in love. He would ask permission from the Father, ask the lady. They got engaged, married in church. Devoted to one another. Marriage is a very serious blood covenant before the Lord.
Girls were virgins. No thought ever of divorce. No slutting around. A wedding ring was highly respected. No man or
woman would think of ever going there. Today, bloke after bloke. Woman after woman. Lust not love. Love is a decision. You take that decision before the Lord God. It is very serious. You do not vow to a person. You vow to Almighty God. God richly bless you!
There was no fighting in the house. If you truly love someone, do you want to pick fights? No. I was married 47 years. My eldest son said to me. Mom, I don't ever remember any fights in our home. There was respect. I bet your Grandmother
respected your Grandfather. Selfishness... unheard of. Men took up as leaders, were Godly. Took their families to church. Reverenced the Lord.
Thanks for your comment. The more I listened to this video the more hopelss & discouraged I felt about having a good marriage ( I'm unmarried) or dating/ relationship. What you made me realize is that this is the world's perspective and way of being in marriage and relationships and that God's way is always best and he is always able to bring change to any person or situation and that my future marriage can work if I commit it to him. I needed to hear your experience because this video was getting heavy!
@@TheElephantInTheRoom12 the first thing you must do is repent of all sin and then say Lord Jesus, I am a sinner and I need a Saviour. I now know you are the Saviour of the whole world. All those that will accept God's plan of Salvation and that
is the finished work of the CROSS. PRAY THIS...I ACCEPT YOU LORD JESUS AS MY PERSONAL SAVIOUR AND I BELIEVE THE BLOOD OF JESUS, GOD'S SON, CLEANSES ME FROM ALL SIN, I AM NOW BORN AGAIN, JOHN 3 V 3 I AM A CHILD,OF GOD. ROMANS 10 V 9 AND 10. THANK YOU FATHER FOR BRINGING ME INTO THE FAMILY,OF GOD IN JESUS NAME AMEN!
Father God, I ask and thank you for my wife. I want your choice for me. A Godly girl or if you are a girl, a Godly man.
Who are the mothers or fathers raising such sons (men)?
You are talking about worldly ungodly men... Maybe even the majority of men but not men of God who are not self immersed and look for ways to bless, lift, and love others.
This momma raised two good Godly men alone and then remarried and two selfish sons with my second self consumed spouse.
The real harsh reality is this... Your myopic view leaves little hope for women who love men. You are talking about selfish self consumed men who leave a trail of heartache and are never truly happy or content. Instead of talking about what women need to understand about men why don't you talk to men about how they can understand themselves and build a life of serving others instead of waiting for others to serve them. My father's life was all about service and he was one of the happiest men I've ever known.
The difference between boy-mothers and girl-mothers tells the tale. Same as for a man, I never fully trust a woman with sons she dotes on, always something really sinister about it. Shakespeare was right.
In this video he spoke the common traits and reactions of men that good women should avoid in general. It's sadly common that many men fits the description listed in modern society. I believe this video helps women in doubt of their relationships to make right choice of leaving.
So it's not very little hope for women, but better hope for future by get rid of unworthy users!
@@antinutjobs 'good' women? That there says all that need be said about user. Beware of men who rank women and abide by the Madonna/Whore dichotomy.
Which is the majority of men today!
You taught me every lesson I need to learn about men in just 9 minutes. If I didn't watch your video, I will have to experience all of them to learn the lesson. And I already met one guy that is the type you mentioned in the video. Now, I know my worth. I won't commit to any men I think nice guys because they are real red flags. You will never see their true faces cuz they are too good at hiding them.
Glad it was helpful!
"Secure man will never chase" Thank you❤.. I needed this clarification👍
There really isn't unconditional love other than an infants and puppies but they are also taught good behavior.
I avoided a chaser but he caught up to me and almost ruined my life. He asked me out for over 10 years, finally gave in in 2019 due to family pressure, everything changed after 6 months into dating, he became abusive and violent. Beat me up when I was pregnant and still lied about it. Nobody believed me cos he was very nice to people. The abuse didn't stop both sexual and physical abuse. Had to leave that relationship and he swore never to support me or his daughter. 3 years single and better
Not only men like to experience freedom but women too!! I love my freedom so much, hence i rather have a man that respect that too and have healthy boundary from it!
R you independent?
@@mehak7086 im an adult so yes, all adults should be independent and such
@@wanderlustoceans8205 which job do you do and where are you from
@@mehak7086 do not want to be rude and such but, you are a stranger on the internet, I am wondering, why you are so interested on my personal information and life including my country?
I only can tell you a have an amazing great paying job and I live in a first world country, really won't give you more specific details since I really dont know you
I really don’t want that drama in my life. I’d rather be on my own with stability, peace and happiness. Men don’t seem worth it.
I’m so happy I’m free!
@@amandaboado7057 Based af.
A fool learns from his/her mistakes,but a wise learns from someone elses mistakes
Thank you for sharing all this. I realize from this that what I kept believing I saw in men is actually true. It makes me very sad and makes me realize I really should just concentrate on my life, making vast sums of money to ensure I am well-cared for, and no longer hold out hope for having the kind of love and relationship my grandparents did. I wish I'd learned all this ages ago.
Ismael ... every point you've covered is true. I am 40+ now, and these things are now obvious. At age 18 to 25, they weren't. What your Abuela says is so true!
Number 3, absolutely true. Best to leave this type of relationship immediately rather than try to "work on it". This is a slow moving train wreck that will drain you if you stay. And it WILL wreck!
Also, "chasers" ... how right you are! They are not chasing you because YOU are such a wonderful woman ... rather, this type of man loves "the thrill of the chase". And once the conquest is made ... game over. Young women ... please don't be fooled by this type and think the "passionate" chase is about YOU. It's really just about him ... a certain type of guy.
Everything on your list is true. This does not mean that ladies should "lose all hope" and begin to "despair". It just means please be discerning. And do not believe that life, relationships and people in general will be the way things are portrayed in Fairy Tales and Rom Coms. 👍🏼
Thank you kindly, you’re a blessing.
the sad state of our current masculinity
I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing about your beautiful experience.
Yep 100% fact
Bro ..your words r tearing my heart with an arrow.. u have sharpness of clarification and haste of proofs...
Absolutely spot on!!
I have two very handsome male buddies who are chasers. Women will talk to me about how they know they are the one because they are chasing them .... Meanwhile, I try to gently explain that this is just their usual play. One is now 50 - he's been married 8 times .... He has never stayed faithful longer than the end of his honeymoon.
Married 8 times? That sounds intense.
Smh.
Facts!💯 In no contact with a Sag now, he’s a good f-boy and NOTHING more. He was a complete waste of time. What a joke! SMDH
Mine had 6 gf’s , loser
This is just for those, who have brothers , girl if you didn't have one , i know. You are the purest soul this world doesn't deserve, men these days are taught things by women with their limiting beliefs, so only settle where you see your standards are met , and never love a man unconditionally if he doesn't love you unconditionally NEVER. Give that unconditional love to yourself you deserve it❤
Got heartbroken just this year and having to know this late was a harsh reality for me. Dont give up your all to a man and always embrace reality rather than expectations. If a man says he is too busy for you because he is working with your future, dont pursue that relationship. Priorities plays a big roles to relationship . If he only sees you for convenience rather than a wife and a loving future, leave him before he starts "breaking" you. I lost my motivation to live and achieve my dreams during our on and offs but i am slowly healing myself after that. To those who experienced being burdened, it's alright to cry it out and talk it with your friends or to yourself. That way you slowly wake up and realize he is just a filler in your chapters. 😊
I'm 53, my husband passed away an year ago. I was hesitant, but after watching this video, I'll just stay single! Too much work .😊
Insecure men will get yours shine ✨️
Ansolutely then they go on & on & on & keep pulling you down - over everything thing you say or do or are.Twisted.Dont bother with them.
54 year old here, the last one is pure gold truth and somebody should really write a book about it, because is a hugh and deep thing worth analysing and discussing to finally learn and accept it young ladies.
Don't know much i am so new here. But one thing i set for myself is "become 🛡 shield hearted..no matter what! Don't broke yourself cry for a moment but wake up do what's needed "
'Insecure men will destroy you'
Insecure men have unpredictable behaviours if you set boundaries or decide you don't need approval from him. The behaviours can range from jealousy and petty revenges, to violent words directed at you, and even physical violence near you. You end up tiptoeing around them, dumbing yourself down to appease their ego, and years later wondering what the heck happened. Stay single rather than be with an insecure partner.
At first listen to him really hard. Listen to how he describes other women. Listen more than you speak at first, it will save you some hard times.
Much wisdom in your words.
Thank you for always keeping it real no matter how harsh the truth can be at times. 🙏 ♥
I just discovered this channel and I love it's contents 👏🏾 🎉Good job 👍🏾
Glad you enjoy it!
Great video❤❤
As a woman, I have learned that men LOVE LOVE to receive vocalized admiration...ESPECIALLY for little things, like house chores.
Be careful NOT to over praise though- he's not your 2 yr old😂
Haha that last line is gold.
It is a mistake painting men as all the same. I’ve never known a man that “valued freedom” as you put described. I have found them to be quite clingy. I am an Aquarius so perhaps I just want more “freedom” than men. 😹
My husband definitely valued freedom
What kind of men are you attracted to date? Their traits (besides clingy?) I need to find those love language through touch men.
Most men are actually really lonley so they get clingly. I would too
SAME! I’m a Virgo, but I’ve been always the one who wanted more freedom.
1. He wont love you unconditionally.
This is the most toxic thing I've ever seen on the internet, and its truly sad. I've told everyone ive been in a serious relationship that unconditional love IS the pillar of a strong relationship. Ladies, if a guy says this, or hints at this in any way, its a giant red flag that the relationship isn't gonna be serious. Unconditional love isn't something that someone can ask for, thats true.
But it should be strived to. And ive seen many people strive to it, do it, and its something I do as well.
Holy shit this is a psychotic video. Couldn't even watch 1 min. Please retitle this video "Random pieces of toxic advice to random people on the internet no one should ever take seriously."
Thanks for your comment. Just wanted to let you know this point specifically comes from interviewing many married couples that have been together for decades. I'm just the messenger.
You may be misunderstanding what "unconditional" means.
Guy here. I don't think women should love unconditionally either. It's how both men and women wind up in abusive relationships or look the other way when the partner is a criminal or a scumbag. I think you should be strong and walk away when it's right, and not be a beaten dog.
@@smileydog5941 Woman here. Been in a relationship over a decade. This division between people of different genders is the super messed up part. You as a self-admitted dude and myself as a self admitted chick don't have that much uncommon between us. I'm not an alien to you and you're not an alien to me. Neither is my partner. We're all people. This obsession with differences feels like thinly veiled sexism that is feeding off of itself. It's like finding division in someone of a different race or just skin color even if ethnicity is the same.
I'm just baffled and creeped out by all of it.
A lot of this just sounds like many people get into abusive relationships (which I have no doubt in trusting is the case. Abuse isn't anywhere near as uncommon as people think and it comes in many forms, not just bruises) and since the majority of the world is heterosexual in orientation, it will end up in generally men and women dynamics. Therefore, there is implicit bias into thinking it's all one the "female" or the "male" from both sides.
I think there are a lot of people who are raised in toxic environments and reflect that. That and the sad truth that if you have been abused, you tend to seek out familiarity which leads to cognitive bias that all "x" are this way, because the person can't see the pattern they've gotten into. Which is absolutely not their fault because abuse twists the mind and requires a lot of different things to get out of it.
TL;DR: A lot of people need some serious therapy. But instead we're shoving all of that onto whatever gender, genitals or appearance someone has and saying it makes them "x".
@@vixxcelacea2778 Well said, I agree. It's important to not paint any one group with a broad brush, especially in heteronormative dating. What other option would you have if you demonize the sex you would like to have a relationship with
Women here. Been through this and currently in #4 point. All points 100% true. Maybe you ve been lucky to not meet such men.
#4 was the first point that really resonated w/me personally but after watching the whole video I'll just say that I may be saving this video to possibly show to my daughters in the future when/if I really need to talk to them about guys and then let them hear what I'm saying from a guy! This video is spot on!
I love that everything is short, concise and to the point!
My goodness
I never knew a lot
Both of my big brothers (apparently) made sure not one guy would approach me
I found that out in my 30’s
I was so mad at first but,
I simply love them for what THEY thought was their station as my older brothers
Harsh life never knowing love (all the this and thats) in younghood
Super unbelievably passionately thankful now forever
I am so glad you mentioned the bad influence of x-rated videos on young people. I believe they damage their brains with such content as well as their perception on human relationships.
All you said is correct. People search for security on the partners so yes the truth is a bit cruel. Romantic love happens in novels, life and reality have no "and they lived happily every after".
Everyday is a battle and if you are alone is difficult but imagine how it is if you also carry the weight of a family.
We all need to rethink our overall criteria considering human relationships I guess. Right now everything goes wrong.
These truths are killing me inside!!!
Why I didn't watch this video 8 months ago!!
Men will face death rather disclosing that he betrayed you 💀😮
If women would only start to see themselves as Queens or Goddesses, everything would change.
WRONG!!! Wrong, wrong wrong wrong.. Or at the very least, if you want to be a Queen, then treat your man like a King. Likewise for god status. Beware of your North American cultural bias. Then imagine you are the opposite sex.. hard isn't it? You want a partnership of equals who respect and love each other, even with inevitable differences of opinion or taste, etc.
@@francesdonald8743 I never said you shouldn`t treat your man like a king. ;-)
I’m very empathetic and just genuinely nice, like, I feed street animals, and feed homeless people, I don't scream, I don't fight, I respect everyone… Men always seem bothered by that. I’ve come to realize men enjoy being mistreated and they like mean women. To me that is a major red flag and just makes me feel really frustrated with the fact I’m a heterosexual woman. Women, on the other hand, love that I’m kind and they just feel safe around me, which makes sense. Men don’t make sense, that’s the truth. That's why I gave up
I am 35 yo female. I got all your list. Its true. But for me, the most danger at number 3 (an insecure man will destroy you). Insecure man never want some weak woman to bow. But they will search strong woman, make them to bow. They destroy my health, my trust, my money, my career.
I personally believe unconditional love exists for the good people.
🤮
How can you talk about unconditional love and set a condition to it. It’s beyond disgusting.
I was head over heels for a man who I ,frankly, was way out of his league. He would make jabbing comments sometimes I would dismiss until one day he said I had "goat teeth". What an absolute bizarre thing to say, it didn't even offend me just made me laugh! especially when my teeth are one of my best physical assets. I get compliments on my smile frequently. That's when I realized he was #3 An insecure man will destroy you!! TIP: Write down the red flags like this ladies!! You will dismiss it in your gaga state but he said what he said! ALSO most importantly only TIME will tell you who a man is, and his ACTIONS. So take it slooow and see what he DOES only.
Men, and women actually, will treat us the way we allow ourselves to be treated. Also, Joyce Meyer says "if you want to see the true character of a person, watch how they act when they don't get their way. " That was a real eye-opener for me!
I agree. I've learnt something new - about insecure men
Best relationship coach ever
Your comment made me smile. I appreciate you.