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Great advice! Thank you! A number ten might be…that I’ve witnessed a lot with some friends…is “Don’t become a raging feminist”…where the woman refuses to let the guy do anything nice or gentlemanly for her and accuses him of thinking she can’t do things for herself. It really puts a guy down, from small issues like opening a door or car door for a woman, only to get the response “I can do this myself”…or….tit-for-tat, where she might sulkily or self righteously say “ well if you’re going out with the boys then I’m going out with the girls”…as though she only arranges to see her friends because he is seeing his friends….
Women-never do this for you men 1. Do NOT become the female version of him. 2. Do NOT hide/down play your intellect. 3. Do NOT become mom 2.0! 4. Do NOT put your dream on hold. 5. Stop avoiding conflict. 6. Do NOT fully rely on him financially. 7. Do NOT excuse his behavior. 8. Do NOT isolate yourself from your personal circle. 9. Avoid uncomfortable intimacy. Bonus: never send him naked pictures!!
1. Most of us women can't be the female version of him, because, he's acting like a girl. 3. No matter how much you try to be his lover, he will take his mom issues out on you. 6. I don't know any woman who can fully rely on him financially...Nor, would want to...except lazy, entitled dummies. 9. There has to be intimacy for it to be uncomfortable and avoided. Bonus: Only a moron, needs to learn this. Send him a fake of body parts...Kim K, JHo, etc. ? Sebastian Soto, please school the masses on this.🤷🏾♀
#4. I put my life on hold for him. Married for 28 years, followed him around the country for his job. I had to keep starting over while he got transferred and promoted. Then when he finally started resenting me, I had to get a lawyer through the divorce because he was only going to allow me a third of our assets because I only made two-thirds of what he did. And after 28 years of marriage, I had to learn to buy a car, do household repairs, all the stuff that I, as "the little woman" wasn't allowed to do. After divorce, I bought a car, bought a house, finished two more college degrees. Moved across the country, spent time volunteering overseas... The first half of my life was lived for other people. I'm living the second half of my life for me.
@@0906blueYes. A lot of divorcées end up in poverty. The system should be fair. I don’t like it when I see men getting soaked in their divorces, either. Remember that your value does not come from worldly values. Your Heavenly Father loves you. Work hard and He will make up for your husband’s lack. Bless you.
I have a boyfriend, he's great, we love eachother. Recently we're facing an issue. I want to move to US to get a nursing phd and make more money, and he wants to move to another country and become a dentist. Our plans don't align. I don't know what to do. I'm so confused and frustrated
@@Ivana_piranha I know a grown boy of 37, who cannot even boil an egg, and expects to be waited on, hand and foot. Unfortunately, he has obviously been enabled to do this all his life. He won’t even wash a pair of underpants, or a shirt if he needs it in a hurry. He definitely will not wash his own cup, or plate. He dumps it with half eaten food, on the sink, and expects someone to clean up after him. I am actually surprised, he can even go to the toilet by himself, or even wipe himself without assistance.
Same here. Been married for 35 yrs. 6 children, 6 grandchildren so far. Biggest challenge is losing yourself. Always have a balanced life. I know it’s not always possible when you have little children but never lose site of this. If you do, you will become an empty shell and you’ll start harboring regret and anger and blame your husband and children.
Unfortunately my friend is in this situation and now she wants to leave and is having panic attacks! You need to always have your own money and way out no matter how much you think you love someone
How sad for that woman who can’t rely on her man. A Man who will take care of her and protect her from the evil in the world. I’ve seen that women who don’t rely on a men are much more mannish (because they have to be.)They become less feminine and less attractive. What’s happened to “my hero” and “my knight in shining armor”? Sad..😔
My wife and I married right out high school and this year make 33 years. We have similar like but we have dislikes as well. We agree , we have disagreements. It’s about balance and compromise. Marriage isn’t easy but, it’s not impossible. A good marriage is a beautiful blessing.
I hit all 9 of these in my marriage … and he not only had zero respect but he became very cruel to me and walked out on me & our daughter… he’s my ex husband and I’m an ex people pleaser
People can’t respect doormats. No offense. I dated one once and he was pathetic. He just wanted to make me happy. What about his happiness? You can’t exist solely for someone else. It will never work. It was ok at first. Then it just got on my nerves.
A therapist told me years ago to never do anything sexual you don’t feel comfortable with. Comfort equals trust. Listen to yourself and trust your gut if it doesn’t feel right.
My first impulse about your video was not to like it. However, I made myself listen to you. I ended up agreeing with a lot of what you were saying. There are so many arrogant and disrespectful men out there doing videos on how to abuse women. I'm glad you are not one of them.
my ex husbands wanted me to like the same things they did and I told them that's not good for a relationship. I started to lose myself because of this. I did forget my dreams because they kept calling me dumb. at 59 I am now continuing my life and what I always wanted to do. they relied on me financially. and NEVER MARRY AN ALCOHOLIC and if you date one or marry one get out
@@headstonelover Exactly right. My dad was an alcoholic and he married this woman who now I consider family after being married for 30+ years when she finally ended the relationship she ended up with another alcoholic whom she tremendously helped get recovered, but he almost destroyed her life. When she finally had enough and walked out, she left him alcohol-free, and with money in the bank.
A Christian woman...date for marriage. Be modest, be honest, be straightforward, and be in control of yourself. Save yourself for marriage, get to know who you're with.
Wouldn't buy a car without a test drive or buy a house sight unseen. You need to know what you're getting into. "Save" yourself for marriage is some of the most harmful advice an adult can give.
It's really simple ladies. Respect yourself. Love yourself. You don't have to have a "man". Be who you are, do what you like, and if you meet someone you like, and he can't handle you being you, that's his problem. Single is best.
Amen. I learned the hard way. I made excuses for my husband's behavior; made him my world; celebrated every birthday, unbirthday, and family event with his family, even though they never made me feel like part of the family. After 6 years, I packed up my kids and left. I didn't want this lifestyle anymore.... Now, my husband is finally showing up, making changes, and limiting contact with his controlling, enmeshed family.
As a retired pastor I can say, right on bro. I have seen so many couples in trouble because they did not follow your list. And your recommendations apply to both parties in the relationship, not just the women. Good advice.
GREAT VIDEO. I have separate bank accounts and some hid. Separate home space for doing my own thing, since I am retired. I have 2 self worth rule. You hit me or cheat on me I am done. In 2021 I divorced my husband after 18 years for cheating. I am an independent woman in Texas. I know how to talk to my guy and when to shut up. I don't want him like a toddler and I nag him. He is himself and I am me. We had different skill sets and we balanced each other. He just made a bad choice. There are consequences to your choice, he made his decision and I made mine.
Oh my gosh the last one made me cry because I'd been in a relationship where I did things that made me feel super uncomfortable and gross. Please don't let it happen to you, I will never let it happen to me again!
Interesting video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
@@LindaD.Rowland you might want to rethink if you want to directly write the name of a person that you don't wish harm in a youtube comment section. especially if she's working in a highly frowned-upon field like spirituality. people can be so cruel and just need a name to google the person and ruin her life just because they feel like trolling today.
I know you're probably in the denial stage of grieving. But if she's not reciprocating you need to respect that and try to focus more on detaching. When my ex was contacting me, desperately wanting me back, a year after I left him - it was very unsettling because I did not feel the same way and he couldn't see it. I had blocked him on social media and changed numbers. But he created another account to contact me. I had moved on. You don't want to end up with a restraining order out on you. I know that's harsh but you have to face reality.
Primero: Acepta qué tu relación ya sé terminó, acepta qué todo en la vida tiene un final, no puedes seguir negando una situación qué llegó a su fin. Vive tu luto, romper una relación sea corta ó larga, se asemeja parecido cuando un ser querido ha fallecido, así permite vivir tu dolor, llorar és la mejor terapia para liberar emociones, no minimices tus emociones. Tómate tu tiempo. Trata de salir a lugares nuevos, viaja, conoce nuevas personas, aprende un deporte. Evite los lugares donde frecuentaba salir con tu ex - pareja, al menos mientras viviendo tu luto. Recuerda: Amor qué se deba mendigar no és amor, és falta de dignidad. Deja de insistir donde ya te dijeron que No. Aprenda a trabajar sus apegos emocionales, cultive su amor propio, aprenda a disfrutarse usted mismo, quiérete mucho. No corras detrás de alguien qué ya no quiere caminar junto a ti, aprende del contacto cero, cero llamadas, cero redes sociales de ésa persona, cero WhatsApp, etc!! Por tu salud mental. No hay mejor maestra que la soledad y aprender a estar solo 🙌 sino aprendes a estar solo, difícilmente podrás estar con alguien. Entre más insistas en perseguir alguien, más lo alejas, qué tu ex - pareja, algún día retome la comunicación NO quiere decir qué regresen. Recuerda: No persigas las mariposas, deja qué las mariposas lleguen a ti 🦋 Un Mago ó Hechicero no va hacer qué regrese tu ex pareja, si ni tu mismo te amas. Tu eres tu propio hechicero, trabaja tu magia interna a tu favor. Aprende del rechazo, hazlo tú aliado. Y recuerda: Tu estás en primer lugar.
Relationship is built on accepting and respecting the differences in each other. Learning about each other and enjoying each other's company. Laugh, talk, discuss subjects, ask for each other's support. Work hard together. Play hard together. Have a good argument and agree to disagree. It's not about winning. Wear what you feel comfortable in. See your friends and family when ever you want. Study as you wish. That is how you stay together and thrive.
A financially independent woman gets a double edged sword. Men definitely feel relieved through actions if the woman doesn't spend his money. In fact when a woman makes her own money, men hardly take care of them but if asked he'll say she doesn't make me feel needed, doesn't let me provide. These are regular guys I'm talking about not the toxic ones. The discrepancies in how they feel and what they say will always remain a major contributor to failed relationships or miscommunication. Most of my friends are males and I've often seen these discrepancies. Perhaps I've gotten to know them too well that they've kinda lost their charm to me but I love them as friends.... hardly any drama and almost always a very breezy and great hangout! ❤
Had to learn all of these the hard way. I kept giving my energies out to the wrong people esp in romantic relationships. My ex of 10 years left out of nowhere. I had no choice but to rebuild myself. Now, I've learned to truly value my authentic self. You have to become the love you seek or else you will attract many unhealthy relationships with people who also carries the same trauma as you. Thank you for the advice!
No need for disagreement to be a “ FIGHT “ … I’m so glad how you explained that one at the end. It’s so scary and hurtful to have a man fully yelling at you.
@cassandraknight8804 The amount of times iv been told my husband screaming profanities at me and insulting and calling me names in front of my kids was my fault (usually in different words but that was the point) bc I had a "bad attitude" or bc I'm "hard to handel" bc of my mental health disorders, or even bc "he's stressed" is insane iv even been told that it's OK bc "everyone looses their temper" even though it's a multiple times a week occurance. Society today literally teaches men that screaming and throwing fits is normal and it's sadly the women who try to love them who pay for it.
@@katelyncourtright866 He is targeting any weak spots in your self esteem ( we all have them) sometimes I’m not even sure they realise they’re doing it, it seems to come so disgusting naturally to them… SELFISH.. your to blame for all his feelings he is struggling to process, didn’t you know that? So he has very low emotional intelligence and low ability to regulate his tantrums… can’t seem to sort out his own values and worth….. and again it’s all your fault, hey your even doing it to HIS kids. I know tHIS type well … If you have the resources and or support, run and lawyer up fast. If not know he cannot destroy who and what you truly are…. And what he feels you are- BETTER THAN HIM!! what they fear and believe.. they create.
…because love and emotions are rarely based on logic. Humans are imperfect, often inexperienced and vast majority carry baggage or unresolved trauma. It is what it is.
Social behavior that works in not obvious to everyone. I’m autistic, so I know it’s not obvious to me. That doesn’t mean I’m not capable of learning. I think a lot of other people are similar to me, and that’s OK. I think that, at certain points in history, this information was handed down by parents, relatives, schools, friends, religious leaders, etc., and was learned by repetition. Now, many of us have to seek it out. I don’t take offense to your comment, or anything. I know what you mean. I think there could be means employed to make sure people know these things well enough that they become automatic. I agree that it would be a good thing!
I confess I thought this was going to be another one of those arrogant videos where a guy tells women how they need to behave and what they need to give and give up to have a chance with guys. But this is right on. All us female oldsters can vouch fir this advice.
I used to argue with a friend about dumbing down. She kept telling me to hide my intelligence because it scared off guys. I kept saying they would find out eventually. I think your advice is very helpful. I fall into the traps of avoiding conflict, changing my tastes to match his, excusing behavior, and dropping friends to be with him. These behaviors come from my own insecurities.
I remember these feelings from my younger years. Some advice, not that you asked, btw. Spend time with yourself for awhile, no relationships. Get involved with a group whose purpose is to help others. Not to meet men, but to care about other people’s challenges. Grow spiritually. I believe in Jesus. Find your core values, discover your beliefs. Read books, limit social media, listen to calming music, learn something new. The topics/skills are endless.We live in a very interesting world. You will emerge a much more confident, stronger, more centered woman. You will begin to value your worth, and expect that a man should do the same. There are nice men everywhere. Take time to get to know someone, rather than projecting onto a new guy your wishes and dreams and rushing into a relationship. Make him prove that he deserves such an outstanding woman. Never stop learning and growing. I wish you many blessings.
@@user-es9mb8wi3m So much WISDOM in one paragraph! I wish I had known (and applied) this as a young woman. It would have saved me a lot of heartache. But, in the long run, "All things work together for good for those who love God, and are the called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28)
Ismael, what could it imply if a man is not willing to communicate openly about intimacy? I'm the type of person who'd talk about it to see what we're both comfortable with. I absolutely agree with you on all these points, Ismael. I can't stand immature behaviour and recently have stopped playing dumb and agreeing with everything that a partner says. Life is too short to not go after your dreams!
I am amazed at your advice. I have daughters that are 23 and I’m going to share one of your videos with them! This is good news for today’s young ladies! You speak with a calm and reassuring voice of wisdom!
I never change my plans for a man. If he’s trying to get a date at the last minute I assume that he was waiting to make sure something better wasn’t going down. I do have one exception. I planned to cut down a tree after work & my guy friend wanted to take me go dinner so I said yes bcz he offered to help me cut it down. We took care of my tree & then we went out to dinner.
ISMAEL, YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. I ALWAYS STAY TRUE TO WHO I AM. I AM WHO I AM, & IF ITS NOT LIKED THEY CAN KEEP IT MOVING. WHAT THEY MAYNOT APPRECIATE ANOTHER CAN & WILL!
@childearth4039 I whole-heartily agree! Mr. Gomez understands how women should treat themselves better than a lot of women know how to treat themselves.
Never be the first to cook dinner. Let him be excited to cook for you. Oh and don't help. Be the guest. Later much later...then you can cook if you want.
Yes. Women need to receive more. He’ll disrespect you if you start running after him from early on. Only once you’re sure of him and know he is willing to invest in you then you can cook ❤
I never have sex with a man until I’m in love with him. Sex never makes a person love who you are, but it is important to meet your partners sex needs in a marriage!
Have been married 60 yrs. Realized after video, I made mistakes. My parents divorced when I was 9. My dad was everything and he left me, mother and sister. I thought pleasing a man would keep him from leaving me. I lost myself and should have demanded more from my marriage. Never have been left alone and not sure how I will adjust. We have a beautiful family, due to many sacrafices. Prayers everyday
Regarding #6 How sad for that woman who can’t rely on her man. A Man who will take care of her and protect her from the evil in the world. I’ve seen that women who don’t rely on a men are much more mannish (because they have to be.)They become less feminine and less attractive. What’s happened to “my hero” and “my knight in shining armor”? Sad..😔
I don’t think it’s that women become a sponge, it’s that we are mirrors and multipliers. So often if we love someone or they mean a lot to us, we will mirror them in many aspects. So I think it’s important to understand there is a balance we must keep in that
I think that's true of everyone to a point. We seem to mirror the people we love and admire in subtle ways. God made men and women different in obvious ways, but in ways to balance each other out. Thank heaven for men. He knew what He was doing!
I used to watch my love addict cousin morph into her partners. She would even dress as they did, take on their interests , beliefs, values, friends and troubles...their ENEMIES even.... Money...sure , 50 grand, live with me right away, no problem, Ignore my famiky , sure. She would disappear and his girlfirend was left in her place . Took me into contra independence , absolutely . I deprogrammed and have been single since widowed .
I'm not saying that I'm 'Ms. Perfect', but I would never have been comfortable not being myself. It would have been the other way around. And, if a man is not in it for the same reason I am, loses interest, or disrespects me, I'd be SO gone. I taught my 2 sons early on that when it comes to relationships and marriage, you can NOT have love with OUT Respect. I read a great explanation of respect that has stayed with me: 'One husband said that receiving respect from his most intimate friend, his wife, reduces his fear of failure and being inadequate....it is like wind in my sails.'❤
Two things, first, the doing what he is interested in stuff, that's what magazines tell us from the time we're 12. 'How to keep a guy...find out what he likes and like it too'. Second, us French people, we swear in French. 'Pardon my language' would be better. It's like saying, pardon my Italian, or pardon my German...and then swearing in English. Doesn't make sense, feel free to tell your friends. Totaly agree with everything else you said, 67 years younge female here. One thing to add, don't dress provocatively, he already knows you've got boobs.
I am not sure why though . Why do we have to be more tolerant of bad behavior because we get married ? Because my old husband thinks it's fine to be nasty to his wife while acting like the golden boy with everyone else .
@@tonirad9577 Cos children are involved and they have a right to both parents. Don't have kids until you understand each other well..give it at least 2 -3 years ...discuss parenting thoroughly before having kids. At least until adulthood, parents must work things out. If you are adult enough to have sex, be adult enough to communicate, negotiate, compromise and have the common vision of raising children in a peaceful household BEFORE marriage
This is a great and interesting video. I have been married to my husband 57 years but know him for 😮 65 years We went out then broke up then went out again. I love him like I loved him since I first saw him. We are very much inlove . I still get flutters when he touches me with love He treats me with respect and I to him I really think what you give out you will get back and if it's love and respect it will be a match made in heaven. ❤❤❤❤❤❤
Such good advice, and should really be taken into account, when in a relationship, especially the ‘mommy’ one! Some guys never grow up, and expect everything to be done for them. I have seen it over and over again.
Wow. That was so interesting. I can thankfully say I don't do most of those things. I have always spoken my mind and I truly believe if you don't have respect for the person you're with you can't love them. For me my respect is very important. Your video has validated my thought process and I am so grateful for it. You always make things so clear and provide great examples which are relatable. Thank you😊
Number one had to be the most surprising!😮 I genuinely cannot recall any other male coach who has given his female audience such crucial piece of advice. Not being into the same hobbies or interests as my man is still an insecurity of mine but I’m so glad that I’m hearing something so reassuring from another male. There truly is beauty & excitement in other people’s differences. This is why I love your channel Ismael 🎉 You give great wisdom that is not heard enough for your audience 🙏🏻☮️
A man will respect you most if you are just confident about being you. Men and women will always have different hobbies and interests. It's pretty crucial that they do have some separate time. You eventually live together and share so many things, that it's good to have some separate interests. Some women just lose themselves in a man. This can be compounded when they have kids.
Number 2: "Don't hide your intellect because if a man ever feels threatened by your intelligence it's a major sign of insecurity on his part." Well--there is some truth to that. However, I would argue that high intelligence in a woman is not what MOST men are looking for--if they are looking for it at all it comes way down on the list. Looks score much higher. So yes, if a man feels threatened by your intelligence, he's probably not the one for you---but good luck finding one who isn't. Even the ones who talk "equality", look at how they respond if a man tells them they are wrong about something versus how they respond when a woman says the same thing. It's been my experience that a man will listen to another man and take them seriously but not when it is a woman doing the speaking. Then it is, she doesn't know what she is talking about. Let's just say there are an awful lot of majorly insecure guys out there when it comes to this issue--always has been. Back in the VIctorian dark ages, a woman who had a reputation for being well-read and highly intelligent was called a "bluestocking" with the implication that this disqualified her from marriage thus sentencing her to a life of spinsterhood. So women, if they wanted to get married--which was pretty much an economic necessity in those days--were strongly discouraged from developing their minds. We still see remnants of this thinking today. Being a highly intelligent woman who is a deep thinker is not an advantage in certain circles--in fact, it can be a curse--because again, if this is not what the average man is looking for or even wants, you are pretty much out of luck, unless you can manage to change your social surroundings--and this is not always easy. So while I agree with the premise women shouldn't hide their intelligence, let's be honest: men who truly value a woman's intelligence can be very hard to find because it is not something men generally value in women.
Why is the vedio only making me more depressed? I feel no connection to his words in my relationship..he my husband is different person and for many months he didn't have sex with me it kind of hurts me emotionally...I can't talk to him at all in any topics 😕 all he says is don't do this don't do that..but with his sisters he always busy talking and laughing.. y is my heart so broken now..I am with my mom because I have failed to win his heart even though I press his feet, I cook for his parents.. I look after my kids... I can't be all that perfect ..I also dress up but I have failed to understand why no more sex from him. I don't even know why I am crying and why share with a complete stranger
Sharing nude photos can actually be quite dangerous for BOTH people. Guys, unless you've seen her physical ID, y'all have absolutely no way of knowing if she really is 18. I've known of younger men who have gotten caught up in a ton of legal trouble-not b/c they are predators, but b/c they were legal adults and didn't know that the girl they're trading pix with lied about her age until her parents found out and called the law.
Worse yet are those adult people, male and female, who trade images with adult partners, then when the relationship goes south, the images go online. I know so many people to whom that has happened. Just don't send the images and do not allow any to be taken.
You are giving some ignorant ladies awesome advice.Praise The Lord I am that lady that is a strong and intelligent and financially independent Thank you my dearest Mother for bringing me up the right way.I am freeeee🎉🎉❤
How your thinking develops depends on the type of society you live in. If the society promotes porn and sex in the name of open thoughts and children become addicted since childhood, then the people of the society are at fault.
All of these lessons are great until children come along. It’s not about you and what you want to do, it becomes a priority to take care your children. Your lives change completely. I put my career on hold to tend to my family. My husband traveled with his work and I cared for the family, house, meals and driving to school. Daycare was never an option (nightmares that have happened there), so I don’t know if this guy has a family, but he really seems out of touch.
I am happily married for 50 years, we decided a few things when we got married. I am not his mother, I am his wife. The door is open, if he wants to leave, then he goes and takes everything that belongs to him including all children in the marriage. I carried the children, gave birth, sat nights with them, I have done my share, so if he wants a new life, he takes them. I don't want his house, cars, money or anything that belongs to him if he leaves. He is still here, adores me and still seems happy.
Reminds me of a couple in my neighborhood when I was a child. Both parents seemed to do all they could to avoid each other. I learned later that their marriage was really over; but when husband filed for divorce, his wife said he HAD to take primary custody of the children. He wanted her to take them. There being no agreement, the judge refused to grant them a divorce! LoL
Why have she been a football-fan, did you put her under pressure with sentences like: "I would't marry a girl, who is not afootballfan"? That would be the only option, why she did do this. It's not the woman, who is the problem here....
There's a difference between watching a movie with him because you want to spend time with him and acting like it's your favorite movie. I didn't really enjoy the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. But, my husband did. So I watched them. But, he'd come home from work, find me watching a movie and would watch it with me. It HAS to work both ways.
😂several men that haven’t contacted me back… after a first date … bc I was myself and didn’t tolerate being made feel uneducated and needed to be schooled on particular subject matters. I also wasn’t attracted to them and ghosted others bc what would be the point responding
Wow, I was pleasantly suprised by your advice being in your mid thirties. I am a 50 year old woman and I thought "what can he possibly know at that age?" I would have to say, you are wiser beyond your years. You nailed it on the head for some of those. Keep up the good work!
Some of your tips are correct but not everything. As a person working in area of behaviour and industrial psychology, I have dealt with many men who do tend to choose personalities in women who represent the mother personality type and role, this is existing, as well as the financial support role of some men. There are many very successful relationships that are based on this role, it is only the personality of a man where there is a discrepancy in his own self worth, where manipulation of his partner may result... you mentioned a few other personality traits and overlaps in relationship types that are not entirely correct.
I agree with everything except that I didn’t love that you were dumbing down your responses to the woman you referred to in #2 because she wasn’t elaborating in her initial responses to you. It seemed judgmental. Sometimes people take a while to open up and feel comfortable.
People have different levels of communication. Simplifying your language for someone doesn't mean you think they're unintelligent. My grandfather had a limited vocabulary because he only got to the 6th grade, yet he was one of the smartest people I've ever known.
that thought crossed my mind also. but different people can spark You in different ways. it’s not intentional or even paid much attention to. it just happens & that’s when You take notice. like when You’re getting to know someone & You realize You have something interesting in common. suddenly You have so much to say that You wouldn’t have had otherwise.
That last line 😂 Thank you for all of your insights, Ismael. I really enjoy your perspective and advice towards women. You do it in such a tactful and respectful way that isn’t polarizing or condescending. I wish I would’ve found these videos years ago when I used to date. Now that my teenager is starting to show interest in boys I can give her great advice. Thank you! 🙏🏽💕 P.S. Tu acento es muy lindo 🔥
Turn a light on. Start doing things you like to do. Go find yourself. He will say you are boring, he may even leave you because you are so boring. Read the book The Joy Luck Club. You will find a woman in that storyline like you.
Hi Ismael, I am guilty of doing some of these. I have a problem with #5 Because my previous relationship was very abusive when he didn't get what he wanted. Thank you so much for being here to teach us what you know. Your videos are wonderful.
ALWAYS have your own money, and keep your mouth shut about it. Don't be his personsl servant. Don't give up school or a career for a baby just because he wants it. Keep your friends. Be yourself. Don't dye your hair or get surgery for him. If he won't do it for you, don't do it for him. Always have an escape plan, just in case, and the money to do it. Never let his Mom, or a deadbeat family member move in. No sex practices you don't like, and no nude pictures you'll regret later.
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It means a lot to me to see you want to learn about these topics.
I appreciate all you are doing but what about gifting a guy you are datin? Or suporting him financially more like a loan??
Great advice! Thank you! A number ten might be…that I’ve witnessed a lot with some friends…is “Don’t become a raging feminist”…where the woman refuses to let the guy do anything nice or gentlemanly for her and accuses him of thinking she can’t do things for herself. It really puts a guy down, from small issues like opening a door or car door for a woman, only to get the response “I can do this myself”…or….tit-for-tat, where she might sulkily or self righteously say “ well if you’re going out with the boys then I’m going out with the girls”…as though she only arranges to see her friends because he is seeing his friends….
Like that thanks 😊
So what does it mean when he pulls away from you and makes you feel like you have done something wrong I feel he still has feeling's for his X
wow ❤❤ first you are handsome second very well explained man's physcology the way you explained was just awsome ❤
Women-never do this for you men
1. Do NOT become the female version of him.
2. Do NOT hide/down play your intellect.
3. Do NOT become mom 2.0!
4. Do NOT put your dream on hold.
5. Stop avoiding conflict.
6. Do NOT fully rely on him financially.
7. Do NOT excuse his behavior.
8. Do NOT isolate yourself from your personal circle.
9. Avoid uncomfortable intimacy.
Bonus: never send him naked pictures!!
Yuk only a dipstick would take naked pictures.... zero self respect.
Thank you 😊
Thank you
1. Most of us women can't be the female version of him, because, he's acting like a girl.
3. No matter how much you try to be his lover, he will take his mom issues out on you.
6. I don't know any woman who can fully rely on him financially...Nor, would want to...except lazy, entitled dummies.
9. There has to be intimacy for it to be uncomfortable and avoided.
Bonus: Only a moron, needs to learn this. Send him a fake of body parts...Kim K, JHo, etc. ?
Sebastian Soto, please school the masses on this.🤷🏾♀
Never send anyone naked photos!!!!
#4. I put my life on hold for him. Married for 28 years, followed him around the country for his job. I had to keep starting over while he got transferred and promoted. Then when he finally started resenting me, I had to get a lawyer through the divorce because he was only going to allow me a third of our assets because I only made two-thirds of what he did. And after 28 years of marriage, I had to learn to buy a car, do household repairs, all the stuff that I, as "the little woman" wasn't allowed to do. After divorce, I bought a car, bought a house, finished two more college degrees. Moved across the country, spent time volunteering overseas... The first half of my life was lived for other people. I'm living the second half of my life for me.
I had to sign off on everything so I could get out alive. A life of poverty now, but I knew that leaving. Still I left.
Good for you @julietellsthetruth4811!
Woaw
@@0906blueYes. A lot of divorcées end up in poverty. The system should be fair. I don’t like it when I see men getting soaked in their divorces, either. Remember that your value does not come from worldly values. Your Heavenly Father loves you. Work hard and He will make up for your husband’s lack. Bless you.
I have a boyfriend, he's great, we love eachother. Recently we're facing an issue. I want to move to US to get a nursing phd and make more money, and he wants to move to another country and become a dentist. Our plans don't align. I don't know what to do. I'm so confused and frustrated
“A grown man should be able to take care of himself.”
Say it louder for the people in the back. 🙌🏻
I'm glad you found my video helpful.
@@Ivana_piranha I know a grown boy of 37, who cannot even boil an egg, and expects to be waited on, hand and foot. Unfortunately, he has obviously been enabled to do this all his life. He won’t even wash a pair of underpants, or a shirt if he needs it in a hurry. He definitely will not wash his own cup, or plate. He dumps it with half eaten food, on the sink, and expects someone to clean up after him. I am actually surprised, he can even go to the toilet by himself, or even wipe himself without assistance.
@@jacksprat429 sounds like my ex
@@Ivana_piranha 🤦♀️🙈😱😂🤣🤣
amen❤
My dad told me to NEVER call the boy back if he doesn’t return your call and he’s so right.
This young man has excellent advice. Over 70 yrs old/40 years married… he speaks the truth !
I was just thinking the same. 41 years of marriage and still going strong.Yes he gave very goid advice, take heed ladies.👍👍
“…Being yourself is the ONLY way to be IRREPLACEABLE…”🐝🐑😘
@ajcraft-hello I love that statement too!!
I am married for more than thirty years and according to my experience this young man is absolutely right.
Thanks for sharing. What was the most challenging part for you?
Yes
@@SaveTheMessenger the most challenging point is to stay discreet😉
Same here. Been married for 35 yrs. 6 children, 6 grandchildren so far. Biggest challenge is losing yourself. Always have a balanced life. I know it’s not always possible when you have little children but never lose site of this. If you do, you will become an empty shell and you’ll start harboring regret and anger and blame your husband and children.
Yes he really have been doing his research. I’m impressed so young and wise.
My dad told me to never rely solely on a man. Boy was he right!
He will control you and make your life a living hell.
@@talenalewis1823 yeah. Like my father did my mother and us kids.
Unfortunately my friend is in this situation and now she wants to leave and is having panic attacks! You need to always have your own money and way out no matter how much you think you love someone
How sad for that woman who can’t rely on her man. A Man who will take care of her and protect her from the evil in the world. I’ve seen that women who don’t rely on a men are much more mannish (because they have to be.)They become less feminine and less attractive. What’s happened to “my hero” and “my knight in shining armor”? Sad..😔
They're extinct
My wife and I married right out high school and this year make 33 years. We have similar like but we have dislikes as well. We agree , we have disagreements. It’s about balance and compromise. Marriage isn’t easy but, it’s not impossible. A good marriage is a beautiful blessing.
I hit all 9 of these in my marriage … and he not only had zero respect but he became very cruel to me and walked out on me & our daughter… he’s my ex husband and I’m an ex people pleaser
I can understand how hard it all must have been for you!
Bc of narcissism.
Empath plus narcissist always ends in tears...
😢 I’m sorry that was my ex husband too.
People can’t respect doormats. No offense. I dated one once and he was pathetic. He just wanted to make me happy. What about his happiness? You can’t exist solely for someone else. It will never work. It was ok at first. Then it just got on my nerves.
A therapist told me years ago to never do anything sexual you don’t feel comfortable with. Comfort equals trust. Listen to yourself and trust your gut if it doesn’t feel right.
Great advice. Comfort equals trust 💯
That's very right. I strongly dislike, even hate, anal sex and won't do it with a man. I only like vaginal sex. The hype about anal sex is a huge lie.
Why would anyone do that? It Means, It’s time to move on!
Always check if, and what sort of porn a guy watches...
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉@@ninaelsbethgustavsen2131
I am a 68 year old woman and I endorse every point he enumerated. Great advice.
Me too. They don’t make women like they used to.
Been there in my 20's and 30's.. I'm 68 and I love have friends with benefits but not having them around everyday..
I'm 68 too, and I agree 100%!
I will be 68 in 2 days and I love to hear about what I have always believed but didn't know it. A bad father talked me out of it.
I’m a blessed happily married woman for 28 years, I’m 57 and you young man are 100% correct in your advice 🙏❤️
My first impulse about your video was not to like it. However, I made myself listen to you. I ended up agreeing with a lot of what you were saying. There are so many arrogant and disrespectful men out there doing videos on how to abuse women. I'm glad you are not one of them.
my ex husbands wanted me to like the same things they did and I told them that's not good for a relationship. I started to lose myself because of this. I did forget my dreams because they kept calling me dumb. at 59 I am now continuing my life and what I always wanted to do. they relied on me financially. and NEVER MARRY AN ALCOHOLIC and if you date one or marry one get out
@@headstonelover Exactly right. My dad was an alcoholic and he married this woman who now I consider family after being married for 30+ years when she finally ended the relationship she ended up with another alcoholic whom she tremendously helped get recovered, but he almost destroyed her life. When she finally had enough and walked out, she left him alcohol-free, and with money in the bank.
@@aheartofworship27I'm going thru the same time
Thirty three years married….. MY HUSBAND IS A HARD CORE ALCOHOLIC….. IT IS BAD!
So happy for you that you found your way ❤
@@elizabethcanterbury1507 i know how hard it is t get out stay safe
A Christian woman...date for marriage. Be modest, be honest, be straightforward, and be in control of yourself. Save yourself for marriage, get to know who you're with.
Christian men too, right? It had to go both ways.
There's no god, delusional rubbish, offensive to read that, keep your misguided beliefs off media
Wouldn't buy a car without a test drive or buy a house sight unseen. You need to know what you're getting into. "Save" yourself for marriage is some of the most harmful advice an adult can give.
💯 %....
Trust....trust God.@@LisavonAustralis
It's really simple ladies. Respect yourself. Love yourself. You don't have to have a "man". Be who you are, do what you like, and if you meet someone you like, and he can't handle you being you, that's his problem. Single is best.
Very well said!😊
Love these insights. Thanks for sharing.
It takes a hell of a man to beat no man at all....
Tell any guy ;
"As is" is what's on offer.
@@JWayne-ej4jy Dude, this is aweaome. I think I may make this new mantra: "it takes a hell of a man to beat having no man at all."
It’s so nice to be 67 and have worked through all this crap!! A book that changed it all for me was ‘The Road Less Traveled’. 😊
I appreciate you sharing that. How did it make you feel?
I LOVE that book
Amen. I learned the hard way. I made excuses for my husband's behavior; made him my world; celebrated every birthday, unbirthday, and family event with his family, even though they never made me feel like part of the family. After 6 years, I packed up my kids and left. I didn't want this lifestyle anymore.... Now, my husband is finally showing up, making changes, and limiting contact with his controlling, enmeshed family.
I'm GLAD that you WOKE UP, out of a DEEP SLEEP.. now you have your happy life BACK!
Me alegro mucho por tu Amor Propio 💕
We're all proud of you. Thanks for sharing your story.
Congratulations. Stay independent❗️
I hope he will be able to maintain the new healthier dynamic with his father.
Finally, someone who cares about women! Lots of great advice!
I can’t express my gratitude enough.
All good points for staying secure in developing emotional boundaries. Thank you.
As a retired pastor I can say, right on bro. I have seen so many couples in trouble because they did not follow your list. And your recommendations apply to both parties in the relationship, not just the women. Good advice.
@@zelmalang1695 any pastor work so hard don't retire
I agree 💯 with everything you said. You pointed out some really important issues that are overlooked most of the times. Thank you so much! ❤
Love these insights. Thanks for sharing.
GREAT VIDEO. I have separate bank accounts and some hid. Separate home space for doing my own thing, since I am retired. I have 2 self worth rule. You hit me or cheat on me I am done. In 2021 I divorced my husband after 18 years for cheating. I am an independent woman in Texas. I know how to talk to my guy and when to shut up. I don't want him like a toddler and I nag him. He is himself and I am me. We had different skill sets and we balanced each other. He just made a bad choice. There are consequences to your choice, he made his decision and I made mine.
Oh my gosh the last one made me cry because I'd been in a relationship where I did things that made me feel super uncomfortable and gross. Please don't let it happen to you, I will never let it happen to me again!
Interesting video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
@@LindaD.Rowland you might want to rethink if you want to directly write the name of a person that you don't wish harm in a youtube comment section. especially if she's working in a highly frowned-upon field like spirituality. people can be so cruel and just need a name to google the person and ruin her life just because they feel like trolling today.
I know you're probably in the denial stage of grieving. But if she's not reciprocating you need to respect that and try to focus more on detaching. When my ex was contacting me, desperately wanting me back, a year after I left him - it was very unsettling because I did not feel the same way and he couldn't see it. I had blocked him on social media and changed numbers. But he created another account to contact me. I had moved on. You don't want to end up with a restraining order out on you. I know that's harsh but you have to face reality.
Primero:
Acepta qué tu relación ya sé terminó, acepta qué todo en la vida tiene un final, no puedes seguir negando una situación qué llegó a su fin.
Vive tu luto, romper una relación sea corta ó larga, se asemeja parecido cuando un ser querido ha fallecido, así permite vivir tu dolor, llorar és la mejor terapia para liberar emociones, no minimices tus emociones.
Tómate tu tiempo.
Trata de salir a lugares nuevos, viaja, conoce nuevas personas, aprende un deporte.
Evite los lugares donde frecuentaba salir con tu ex - pareja, al menos mientras viviendo tu luto.
Recuerda: Amor qué se deba mendigar no és amor, és falta de dignidad.
Deja de insistir donde ya te dijeron que No.
Aprenda a trabajar sus apegos emocionales, cultive su amor propio, aprenda a disfrutarse usted mismo, quiérete mucho.
No corras detrás de alguien qué ya no quiere caminar junto a ti, aprende del contacto cero, cero llamadas, cero redes sociales de ésa persona, cero WhatsApp, etc!! Por tu salud mental.
No hay mejor maestra que la soledad y aprender a estar solo 🙌 sino aprendes a estar solo, difícilmente podrás estar con alguien.
Entre más insistas en perseguir alguien, más lo alejas, qué tu ex - pareja, algún día retome la comunicación NO quiere decir qué regresen.
Recuerda: No persigas las mariposas, deja qué las mariposas lleguen a ti 🦋
Un Mago ó Hechicero no va hacer qué regrese tu ex pareja, si ni tu mismo te amas. Tu eres tu propio hechicero, trabaja tu magia interna a tu favor.
Aprende del rechazo, hazlo tú aliado.
Y recuerda: Tu estás en primer lugar.
Well done! I found this informative, comprehensive and succinct. Thank you, Blessings to you 👃❤
Single me watching this at 2 am for God knows why😅
Same here but at 10pm😌🤦♀️
Exactly me, its 2 a.m 😂
Same..2.29am now
It’s 2:19am😂
Haha me too 😅😅😅
Relationship is built on accepting and respecting the differences in each other. Learning about each other and enjoying each other's company. Laugh, talk, discuss subjects, ask for each other's support. Work hard together. Play hard together. Have a good argument and agree to disagree. It's not about winning. Wear what you feel comfortable in. See your friends and family when ever you want. Study as you wish. That is how you stay together and thrive.
I couldn't have said it better.
And in the words of Jordan Peterson, never agree to something you don't agree to.
A financially independent woman gets a double edged sword. Men definitely feel relieved through actions if the woman doesn't spend his money. In fact when a woman makes her own money, men hardly take care of them but if asked he'll say she doesn't make me feel needed, doesn't let me provide. These are regular guys I'm talking about not the toxic ones. The discrepancies in how they feel and what they say will always remain a major contributor to failed relationships or miscommunication. Most of my friends are males and I've often seen these discrepancies. Perhaps I've gotten to know them too well that they've kinda lost their charm to me but I love them as friends.... hardly any drama and almost always a very breezy and great hangout! ❤
They are sooo confused. Everything they say is contradictory. It’s always something the woman is doing wrong
Had to learn all of these the hard way. I kept giving my energies out to the wrong people esp in romantic relationships. My ex of 10 years left out of nowhere. I had no choice but to rebuild myself. Now, I've learned to truly value my authentic self. You have to become the love you seek or else you will attract many unhealthy relationships with people who also carries the same trauma as you. Thank you for the advice!
"You have to become the love you seek" Couldn't have said it better myself.
@@CamiKaze22 Facts
If you lose someone but find yourself then that's a wtn isn't it?
No need for disagreement to be a “ FIGHT “ … I’m so glad how you explained that one at the end. It’s so scary and hurtful to have a man fully yelling at you.
Yes, believe me, I know.......
@cassandraknight8804 The amount of times iv been told my husband screaming profanities at me and insulting and calling me names in front of my kids was my fault (usually in different words but that was the point) bc I had a "bad attitude" or bc I'm "hard to handel" bc of my mental health disorders, or even bc "he's stressed" is insane iv even been told that it's OK bc "everyone looses their temper" even though it's a multiple times a week occurance. Society today literally teaches men that screaming and throwing fits is normal and it's sadly the women who try to love them who pay for it.
@@katelyncourtright866 He is targeting any weak spots in your self esteem ( we all have them) sometimes I’m not even sure they realise they’re doing it, it seems to come so disgusting naturally to them… SELFISH.. your to blame for all his feelings he is struggling to process, didn’t you know that? So he has very low emotional intelligence and low ability to regulate his tantrums… can’t seem to sort out his own values and worth….. and again it’s all your fault, hey your even doing it to HIS kids. I know tHIS type well … If you have the resources and or support, run and lawyer up fast. If not know he cannot destroy who and what you truly are…. And what he feels you are- BETTER THAN HIM!! what they fear and believe.. they create.
It's sad that these things even have to be pointed out by a coach. They should be natural to everybody
I agree it's basically common sense.
…because love and emotions are rarely based on logic. Humans are imperfect, often inexperienced and vast majority carry baggage or unresolved trauma. It is what it is.
@@sharitacash9318 Unfortunately, common sense is not that common.
Social behavior that works in not obvious to everyone. I’m autistic, so I know it’s not obvious to me. That doesn’t mean I’m not capable of learning. I think a lot of other people are similar to me, and that’s OK. I think that, at certain points in history, this information was handed down by parents, relatives, schools, friends, religious leaders, etc., and was learned by repetition. Now, many of us have to seek it out. I don’t take offense to your comment, or anything. I know what you mean. I think there could be means employed to make sure people know these things well enough that they become automatic. I agree that it would be a good thing!
The young ones these days dont think like this... they are super selfish, and that is why so many fail...
Thanks for everything ❤❤
It will help me in the future while i choose a partner 😊
I confess I thought this was going to be another one of those arrogant videos where a guy tells women how they need to behave and what they need to give and give up to have a chance with guys. But this is right on. All us female oldsters can vouch fir this advice.
I used to argue with a friend about dumbing down. She kept telling me to hide my intelligence because it scared off guys. I kept saying they would find out eventually.
I think your advice is very helpful. I fall into the traps of avoiding conflict, changing my tastes to match his, excusing behavior, and dropping friends to be with him.
These behaviors come from my own insecurities.
I remember these feelings from my younger years. Some advice, not that you asked, btw. Spend time with yourself for awhile, no relationships. Get involved with a group whose purpose is to help others. Not to meet men, but to care about other people’s challenges. Grow spiritually. I believe in Jesus. Find your core values, discover your beliefs. Read books, limit social media, listen to calming music, learn something new. The topics/skills are endless.We live in a very interesting world. You will emerge a much more confident, stronger, more centered woman. You will begin to value your worth, and expect that a man should do the same. There are nice men everywhere. Take time to get to know someone, rather than projecting onto a new guy your wishes and dreams and rushing into a relationship. Make him prove that he deserves such an outstanding woman. Never stop learning and growing. I wish you many blessings.
@@user-es9mb8wi3m So much WISDOM in one paragraph! I wish I had known (and applied) this as a young woman. It would have saved me a lot of heartache. But, in the long run, "All things work together for good for those who love God, and are the called according to His purpose."
(Romans 8:28)
@@maryforbes4277 Amen. I am a Mary, too!
@@user-es9mb8wi3m Hi Mary! Happy 4th of July!! (if you live in the US-or even if you don't!)
Ismael, what could it imply if a man is not willing to communicate openly about intimacy? I'm the type of person who'd talk about it to see what we're both comfortable with. I absolutely agree with you on all these points, Ismael. I can't stand immature behaviour and recently have stopped playing dumb and agreeing with everything that a partner says. Life is too short to not go after your dreams!
I'm going to be my independent self no matter what my man does. It's being fake to take on his attributes. Always be you. ❤
I am amazed at your advice. I have daughters that are 23 and I’m going to share one of your videos with them! This is good news for today’s young ladies! You speak with a calm and reassuring voice of wisdom!
I appreciate you took the time to leave such a lovely comment.
I never change my plans for a man. If he’s trying to get a date at the last minute I assume that he was waiting to make sure something better wasn’t going down. I do have one exception. I planned to cut down a tree after work & my guy friend wanted to take me go dinner so I said yes bcz he offered to help me cut it down. We took care of my tree & then we went out to dinner.
I intimidate most men because I am a confident woman. And you are correct about displaying your intellect.
Ismael Gomez Godbless You for this Particular Post, Iv Learnt a whole lot from your Channel, You're Brilliant. Kp doing great 👍👍
ISMAEL, YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. I ALWAYS STAY TRUE TO WHO I AM. I AM WHO I AM, & IF ITS NOT LIKED THEY CAN KEEP IT MOVING. WHAT THEY MAYNOT APPRECIATE ANOTHER CAN & WILL!
As a 45 year old woman this gentleman is 100% correct! 👏🏾👏🏾
i stopped period i don't waste my time anymore i come first
Shows you dont have to be a woman to understand how women should treat themselves. Thank you Mr Gomez from all women.
@childearth4039 I whole-heartily agree! Mr. Gomez understands how women should treat themselves better than a lot of women know how to treat themselves.
Never be the first to cook dinner. Let him be excited to cook for you. Oh and don't help. Be the guest. Later much later...then you can cook if you want.
I don't play games or follow anyone's rules about when I can or can't cook 🤷🏾♀️
@@vodkavuitton... I agree with you... Never manipulate the relationship... U may even lose a genuine partner....!!
Yes. Women need to receive more. He’ll disrespect you if you start running after him from early on. Only once you’re sure of him and know he is willing to invest in you then you can cook ❤
I never have sex with a man until I’m in love with him. Sex never makes a person love who you are, but it is important to meet your partners sex needs in a marriage!
Have been married 60 yrs. Realized after video, I made mistakes. My parents divorced when I was 9. My dad was everything and he left me, mother and sister. I thought pleasing a man would keep him from leaving me. I lost myself and should have demanded more from my marriage. Never have been left alone and not sure how I will adjust. We have a beautiful family, due to many sacrafices. Prayers everyday
Regarding #6
How sad for that woman who can’t rely on her man. A Man who will take care of her and protect her from the evil in the world. I’ve seen that women who don’t rely on a men are much more mannish (because they have to be.)They become less feminine and less attractive. What’s happened to “my hero” and “my knight in shining armor”? Sad..😔
Now I came to know,I was doing this mistake everytime. Thanks now I am aware.
I don’t think it’s that women become a sponge, it’s that we are mirrors and multipliers. So often if we love someone or they mean a lot to us, we will mirror them in many aspects. So I think it’s important to understand there is a balance we must keep in that
Smart talk
I think that's true of everyone to a point. We seem to mirror the people we love and admire in subtle ways. God made men and women different in obvious ways, but in ways to balance each other out. Thank heaven for men. He knew what He was doing!
I used to watch my love addict cousin morph into her partners. She would even dress as they did, take on their interests , beliefs, values, friends and troubles...their ENEMIES even.... Money...sure , 50 grand, live with me right away, no problem, Ignore my famiky , sure. She would disappear and his girlfirend was left in her place . Took me into contra independence , absolutely . I deprogrammed and have been single since widowed .
@@MizrahiChick It is laughable, embarrassing and ridiculous!
Ismael, you are the elder brother that every girl needs.
This is also highly applicable to men with women or anyone in any relationship. Thank you!
I'm not saying that I'm 'Ms. Perfect', but I would never have been comfortable not being myself. It would have been the other way around. And, if a man is not in it for the same reason I am, loses interest, or disrespects me, I'd be SO gone. I taught my 2 sons early on that when it comes to relationships and marriage, you can NOT have love with OUT Respect. I read a great explanation of respect that has stayed with me: 'One husband said that receiving respect from his most intimate friend, his wife, reduces his fear of failure and being inadequate....it is like wind in my sails.'❤
❤ respect is definitely important, in relationships and in everyday life.
@@sharitacash9318 Oh absolutely. Respect is a 'life' thing...for other humans, animals and the planet.😊
Two things, first, the doing what he is interested in stuff, that's what magazines tell us from the time we're 12. 'How to keep a guy...find out what he likes and like it too'. Second, us French people, we swear in French. 'Pardon my language' would be better. It's like saying, pardon my Italian, or pardon my German...and then swearing in English. Doesn't make sense, feel free to tell your friends. Totaly agree with everything else you said, 67 years younge female here. One thing to add, don't dress provocatively, he already knows you've got boobs.
When you’re married, it’s a little different. The level of tolerance when single is different from when you’re married
I am not sure why though . Why do we have to be more tolerant of bad behavior because we get married ? Because my old husband thinks it's fine to be nasty to his wife while acting like the golden boy with everyone else .
@@tonirad9577 Cos children are involved and they have a right to both parents. Don't have kids until you understand each other well..give it at least 2 -3 years ...discuss parenting thoroughly before having kids.
At least until adulthood, parents must work things out. If you are adult enough to have sex, be adult enough to communicate, negotiate, compromise and have the common vision of raising children in a peaceful household BEFORE marriage
I had a 55 year old man ask me, “will you be my mommy?” Yeah I RAN AWAY FAST! 😂
Excellent. Thanks for standing up for women - especially the sexual part.
Quit trying to please him.
Make him come after you. Being desperate is a turn off.
Don't be his toy.
Stay yourself.
Don't settle.
This is a great and interesting video.
I have been married to my husband 57 years but know him for 😮 65 years
We went out then broke up then went out again. I love him like I loved him since I first saw him. We are very much inlove . I still get flutters when he touches me with love
He treats me with respect and I to him
I really think what you give out you will get back and if it's love and respect it will be a match made in heaven. ❤❤❤❤❤❤
I love number 6,7 and 9.
Never send naked pics no matter what. Women body are precious and should be protected
Agreed 100%
Every point is important. Every female needs to know this ❤🇦🇺
Please don't SNAP your fingers Sooooo completly rude and number 1 ANNOYING 😮😮😮😮😮
Such good advice, and should really be taken into account, when in a relationship, especially the ‘mommy’ one! Some guys never grow up, and expect everything to be done for them. I have seen it over and over again.
Wow. That was so interesting. I can thankfully say I don't do most of those things. I have always spoken my mind and I truly believe if you don't have respect for the person you're with you can't love them. For me my respect is very important. Your video has validated my thought process and I am so grateful for it. You always make things so clear and provide great examples which are relatable. Thank you😊
I appreciate you took the time to leave such a lovely comment.
Number one had to be the most surprising!😮 I genuinely cannot recall any other male coach who has given his female audience such crucial piece of advice.
Not being into the same hobbies or interests as my man is still an insecurity of mine but I’m so glad that I’m hearing something so reassuring from another male. There truly is beauty & excitement in other people’s differences.
This is why I love your channel Ismael 🎉 You give great wisdom that is not heard enough for your audience 🙏🏻☮️
That's very sweet of you. Thanks.
A man will respect you most if you are just confident about being you. Men and women will always have different hobbies and interests. It's pretty crucial that they do have some separate time. You eventually live together and share so many things, that it's good to have some separate interests. Some women just lose themselves in a man. This can be compounded when they have kids.
Number 2: "Don't hide your intellect because if a man ever feels threatened by your intelligence it's a major sign of insecurity on his part." Well--there is some truth to that. However, I would argue that high intelligence in a woman is not what MOST men are looking for--if they are looking for it at all it comes way down on the list. Looks score much higher. So yes, if a man feels threatened by your intelligence, he's probably not the one for you---but good luck finding one who isn't. Even the ones who talk "equality", look at how they respond if a man tells them they are wrong about something versus how they respond when a woman says the same thing. It's been my experience that a man will listen to another man and take them seriously but not when it is a woman doing the speaking. Then it is, she doesn't know what she is talking about. Let's just say there are an awful lot of majorly insecure guys out there when it comes to this issue--always has been. Back in the VIctorian dark ages, a woman who had a reputation for being well-read and highly intelligent was called a "bluestocking" with the implication that this disqualified her from marriage thus sentencing her to a life of spinsterhood. So women, if they wanted to get married--which was pretty much an economic necessity in those days--were strongly discouraged from developing their minds. We still see remnants of this thinking today. Being a highly intelligent woman who is a deep thinker is not an advantage in certain circles--in fact, it can be a curse--because again, if this is not what the average man is looking for or even wants, you are pretty much out of luck, unless you can manage to change your social surroundings--and this is not always easy. So while I agree with the premise women shouldn't hide their intelligence, let's be honest: men who truly value a woman's intelligence can be very hard to find because it is not something men generally value in women.
I sent him naked pics because we were in a long distance relationship lol
But he did the same 🤷🏼♀️
Same. I don't really find it dangerous if he has my pictures, because, well, i have his too
Why is the vedio only making me more depressed? I feel no connection to his words in my relationship..he my husband is different person and for many months he didn't have sex with me it kind of hurts me emotionally...I can't talk to him at all in any topics 😕 all he says is don't do this don't do that..but with his sisters he always busy talking and laughing.. y is my heart so broken now..I am with my mom because I have failed to win his heart even though I press his feet, I cook for his parents.. I look after my kids... I can't be all that perfect ..I also dress up but I have failed to understand why no more sex from him.
I don't even know why I am crying and why share with a complete stranger
Sharing nude photos can actually be quite dangerous for BOTH people. Guys, unless you've seen her physical ID, y'all have absolutely no way of knowing if she really is 18. I've known of younger men who have gotten caught up in a ton of legal trouble-not b/c they are predators, but b/c they were legal adults and didn't know that the girl they're trading pix with lied about her age until her parents found out and called the law.
Worse yet are those adult people, male and female, who trade images with adult partners, then when the relationship goes south, the images go online. I know so many people to whom that has happened. Just don't send the images and do not allow any to be taken.
You are giving some ignorant ladies awesome advice.Praise The Lord I am that lady that is a strong and intelligent and financially independent Thank you my dearest Mother for bringing me up the right way.I am freeeee🎉🎉❤
So true. Especially about changing when it changes. Acknowledge when you gambled. You got to know when to hold 'em, know fold them...
Good advice, but s’il vous plaît, do not say ‘pardon my French’ when you are being vulgar.
Don't blame society. Watching porn is His Choice, and so is How to Act.
But it literally is all of society.
@@MommasPeachCobbler No, it's NOT.
How your thinking develops depends on the type of society you live in. If the society promotes porn and sex in the name of open thoughts and children become addicted since childhood, then the people of the society are at fault.
@@MommasPeachCobblerno its only weak minded beings with no brains.
I'd rather be "difficult" than a pushover, doormat or whipping post 😉
Not depending on your man is sometimes not possible. Especially if you have children....
All of these lessons are great until children come along. It’s not about you and what you want to do, it becomes a priority to take care your children. Your lives change completely. I put my career on hold to tend to my family. My husband traveled with his work and I cared for the family, house, meals and driving to school. Daycare was never an option (nightmares that have happened there), so I don’t know if this guy has a family, but he really seems out of touch.
@@carolpowell2199 absolutely
I am happily married for 50 years, we decided a few things when we got married. I am not his mother, I am his wife. The door is open, if he wants to leave, then he goes and takes everything that belongs to him including all children in the marriage. I carried the children, gave birth, sat nights with them, I have done my share, so if he wants a new life, he takes them. I don't want his house, cars, money or anything that belongs to him if he leaves. He is still here, adores me and still seems happy.
Reminds me of a couple in my neighborhood when I was a child. Both parents seemed to do all they could to avoid each other. I learned later that their marriage was really over; but when husband filed for divorce, his wife said he HAD to take primary custody of the children. He wanted her to take them. There being no agreement, the judge refused to grant them a divorce! LoL
You are so right and so mature in what you say! Being respectful even in conflict is so important. Lot of people cannot do that.
I kept smiling as I read your comment.
Why have she been a football-fan, did you put her under pressure with sentences like: "I would't marry a girl, who is not afootballfan"? That would be the only option, why she did do this.
It's not the woman, who is the problem here....
I think your best tip was that little snippet at the end when you said when your relationship changes, you need to change.
There's a difference between watching a movie with him because you want to spend time with him and acting like it's your favorite movie.
I didn't really enjoy the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. But, my husband did. So I watched them.
But, he'd come home from work, find me watching a movie and would watch it with me. It HAS to work both ways.
😂several men that haven’t contacted me back… after a first date … bc I was myself and didn’t tolerate being made feel uneducated and needed to be schooled on particular subject matters. I also wasn’t attracted to them and ghosted others bc what would be the point responding
The fact this guy look like he reads the book "women who love so much"
Edit: totally disagree now
Am I dating the right man ?? This makes me question or just am lowering my standard
Wow, I was pleasantly suprised by your advice being in your mid thirties. I am a 50 year old woman and I thought "what can he possibly know at that age?" I would have to say, you are wiser beyond your years. You nailed it on the head for some of those. Keep up the good work!
You were so cute when you slipped those 'french' words and getting a bit mad on men
This guy is a cutie-pie who has good ideas :-))
you're mid 30s? wow you look 28. Thank you for another great video ❤
Yes, he'll age well.😅
I'm also working on reversing aging haha
@@SaveTheMessengerdo You have videos on your process?
Does that mean I look like in my 30s hehe
Some of your tips are correct but not everything. As a person working in area of behaviour and industrial psychology, I have dealt with many men who do tend to choose personalities in women who represent the mother personality type and role, this is existing, as well as the financial support role of some men. There are many very successful relationships that are based on this role, it is only the personality of a man where there is a discrepancy in his own self worth, where manipulation of his partner may result... you mentioned a few other personality traits and overlaps in relationship types that are not entirely correct.
What is that famous saying - “All men marry their mother” - I wonder if it’s true.
I agree with everything except that I didn’t love that you were dumbing down your responses to the woman you referred to in #2 because she wasn’t elaborating in her initial responses to you. It seemed judgmental. Sometimes people take a while to open up and feel comfortable.
People have different levels of communication. Simplifying your language for someone doesn't mean you think they're unintelligent. My grandfather had a limited vocabulary because he only got to the 6th grade, yet he was one of the smartest people I've ever known.
that thought crossed my mind also. but different people can spark You in different ways. it’s not intentional or even paid much attention to. it just happens & that’s when You take notice. like when You’re getting to know someone & You realize You have something interesting in common. suddenly You have so much to say that You wouldn’t have had otherwise.
when you see insecurity one strategy is to let the insecurity sit and stew
From a guys perspective, this sounds very reasonable
🎉a woman is not a maid.
That last line 😂
Thank you for all of your insights, Ismael. I really enjoy your perspective and advice towards women. You do it in such a tactful and respectful way that isn’t polarizing or condescending. I wish I would’ve found these videos years ago when I used to date. Now that my teenager is starting to show interest in boys I can give her great advice. Thank you! 🙏🏽💕
P.S. Tu acento es muy lindo 🔥
That's very sweet of you. Thanks.
Always handle the finances.Know how much he makes and where he is spending his money
Never felt that way with any man to dumb my self down. I enjoy fully expressing myself ❤
I lost myself while trying to impress him. I chose him over myself and now I feel like hiding myself in a dark room
Turn a light on. Start doing things you like to do. Go find yourself. He will say you are boring, he may even leave you because you are so boring. Read the book The Joy Luck Club. You will find a woman in that storyline like you.
Hi Ismael, I am guilty of doing some of these. I have a problem with #5
Because my previous relationship was very abusive when he didn't get what he wanted.
Thank you so much for being here to teach us what you know. Your videos are wonderful.
ALWAYS have your own money, and keep your mouth shut about it. Don't be his personsl servant. Don't give up school or a career for a baby just because he wants it. Keep your friends. Be yourself. Don't dye your hair or get surgery for him. If he won't do it for you, don't do it for him. Always have an escape plan, just in case, and the money to do it. Never let his Mom, or a deadbeat family member move in. No sex practices you don't like, and no nude pictures you'll regret later.
I couldn't agree more.