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Mine told me that nobody would ever marry me because I was "too nice". Years later, I have been married for 40 years with children and grandchildren who love me. He has never been married and has no children or grandchildren. Karma.
Thank you. Me too, I have no time and no tolerance for games anymore. A total turn-off. You play games with me, you already lost me. I want a REAL Loving, Caring MAN who tells me straight up what's what and shows me. In the name of Love❣🌹 Irene
This guy is gold!!!! I’ve just realised that the guy who pursued me and who I was head over heels with , was not showing me the affection consistently and only when he wants to. I started prioritising myself and not giving him much attention, and now he is subtly trying to reel me in again. I know what I’m dealing with now.
I'm glad my content has been helping you. Next video will be on 'How To Keep a Man Interested in You Without Playing Games.' I'm looking forward to seeing you ladies implement that in your lives as well.
He is more than gold. I ended the relationship last year after experiencing all the things he has mentioned except for number 4 and u know what....that was the best decision I've ever made.
This is why I advise all my friends not to chase men, or put too much energy In it. Most men want what they can't have, or what isn't easily accessible. And definitely don't put out without a solid commitment. For me it has to be marriage. I'm happy being single, and not having to deal with indecisiveness.
Married to a covert narcissist for 43 years was an emotional roller coaster until I educated myself on the personality and divorced him….its been a difficult journey yet I'm in a much better place now living and loving my life every day. So grateful I divorced him and on my own.
I always find it interesting that when a "boyfriend" doesn't take a woman out publicly or doesn't consistently check in with her, she doesn't see that as an answer. There's never any need to ask him "why" questions. He has shown you he is not interested. Believe him the FIRST time he tells you who he is. Be glad you dodged a bullet. Learn to read the signs the first-time ladies.
Childhood neglect leads to this easily.... Even parents that supplied well, but worked to much. The list goes on. These people a fall in love way to deeply.... I learned the hard way. We sacrifice self on a hgher scale. It is not all bad... The worst is the mere fact there is to many Vultures out there. And some are DARVO abusers..you know that that is? 🎉
Hm, not sure, what are DARVO abusers? I'm familiar with many types of Abusers and not just in coupled relationships, but I'm not familiar with this term. Thanks... Irene
@@natalinobattisti1699 hi Irene, my name is Sandy, DARVO abuse is insedious mental abuse. The best way to obtain a victim for these type of serious psychological abusers is to marry one! The way this abuse works.. There is none better than to marry a spouse and even have children.... Or to do so to coworkers and families. The more dependent the person is on you, or loves you, the more they tolerate and or don't see the abuse.. Other people... Will tell them to f off. Excuse my French.. Eventually most will.. Anyways... They are known to marry psychologist and trip them up. For many of them the end time goal is to lead us to commit suicide and or to go bat crazy for real and think your truly becoming mentally ill and or an anger problem to start with.... I wen to counseling and I said I am getting a anger problem, need anger management... Anyways... There are tons of licenced psychologist on RUclips. PLEASE get very familiar with this.. It starts with mainly they are annoying more than normal... That will get worst... The biggest... Is the gaslighting and stonewalling communication... This is where you can usually spot them. A good one may toy past here now.. With the internet.. Yet, your gut will tell you... This is absolutely serious abuse.. I am 2 years into recovery, saved most my money from. Being swallowed up in the abuse and stuck with him more and longer or whatever.. Homelessness to leave... If no family. Do you remember Amber Heard and what she did to Depp? That is a form of DARVO abuse.. Married him with the intent to later accuse him falsely with lies... That he abused and reaped her.. That is serious abuse.... Very serious... Very evil. Very evil. Some get away with it.. The laws have caught up in many places now.. If you know a victim tell them to go to the professionals online. RUclips. My son was 8... And he was abused mentally. I didn't know for a few years... Long story... This is truly pschopathic abuse.. I have the normal panic attacks etc now.i will be much better in a year plus.. And much better every day I am not abused by that sick man... There is so many doing this abuse is why they now have the laws. It is a clean hands MO... Crime. For psychos.. But the laws are catching up.. I like to follow Dr Enlightenedme, Dr jimmyforrelationships, Dr Richard Grannon, *****'Professor Sam Vaknin ***** Dr Tim Fletcher, Dr Jim Brillon, Dr Les Carter.. DR Ramoni... There is plenty more. Pass the word along please. And especially any young adult with no family backbone.. Neglected and or abused.. They need it most. They are the ones that get more swooped up, only because they are so easy to manipulate for DARVO abuse... Hugs..
@@natalinobattisti1699 PS DARVO abusers are also called, reactionary abusers.. The whole goal, one of them, is to keep provoking negative reactions in you and when they are your spouse.. They can make sour lemonade every step of the way... It becomes surreal in the end.. These guys are predators in every psychological way possible at times.. Then back off when the peak becomes to great..the spend about 5 years grooming you or so... there usually will be a little bit of abuse to start with or more than a bit of this sly emotional abuse.. Most of us have no clue it is gojng on.. Unless they overreach. If they do.. We will believe their excuses they seem plausible.. It is unreal the level of premeditation they do for this stuff.. And most of the time, if they don't lead you to commit suicide or whatever they thought.. They usually are known for dragging out the divorce in very abusive ways with lies, getting full custody of the children with lies... They can ans are well known to try to get you thrown into jail for "abuse" you didn't do, even perhaps try to frame you for abusing them, like mine did to me...many of them will be all lovey good in bed likely... And then try to ruin your career... Many have succeeded... Some have ruined honest drs lives, some drs sitting in jail over false allegations.... Because of this sick men and women. Most DARVO abusers are men... If I am correct. Learning a lot still.. Yes. Society needs to know more about these sick individuals.
1. Inconsistent affection. One sided. 2. Maybe man. 3. Loves free therapy. Uses you for emotional dumping 4. Points out your flaw. 5. He’s always busy. You’re not a priority
How to get over from all of these?? Sometimes they become our habits, we started to grow feelings for them... How to get out of that emotional bonding??
@@kky.xyou don’t need closure from him. You have the information you need to give yourself closure. By waiting for him to give closure, he’s still in full control of you.
@@bunniewood Yes many are really selfish, manipulative and unappreciative. They blame us for being dramatic but they can't even see their own problems and what causes women to be this way. It's exhausting
He’s always busy! That’s his excuse for not texting me daily! I just didn’t understand why he can’t take five minutes a day to text with me. I’m not a priority to him! I needed to hear that thank you ! ❤
He always wanted texting. He never allowed me to call him or he never called me also saying his family members are there. And I was always considering him like a fool and always chasing him like a shameless woman.... now enough is enough...no more chance....
@@tinaali3686 he said he is unmarried and he is 43 years old...he is very diplomatic type person... lastly I found out that he talked to everyone except me...he was using me because of my kind simple heart and I realised late 😭😭
Many years ago, my boss started chasing g me, out of the blue. We’d not even had a good working relationship. Other than the fact that I wouldn’t sleep with my married boss, I knew I had to get any romantic ideas out of my head, which wasn’t easy as, he was a very good looking, very sexy man and this chase went on, for about 4 years. But I had to consider he just wanted to use me. That he might’ve not been getting his needs met, at home and that, as a single, black woman, I might’ve been seen as low hanging fruit and a place for him to “put it”. That, even by the racial and body type difference, he could simply say I wasn’t even his type so, why would he even be looking at me? And, although this chase went on, for quite sometime and he either didn’t notice others were picking up on it or didn’t care, because he’d become company president, I knew it could simply be entitlement. Still, it would be using me and I knew he might fire me, for me complying, with the very thing he was asking for.
Please be aware that you are still giving away your energy by having those hateful thoughts towards him, which only hurts you in the end (bitterness). A narcissist doesn't even deserve that, and he certainly would not care anyway.
I noticed all these things in various relationships I've been in. But as I have gotten older I see more of the bigger picture so things end pretty quickly if they even begin
Both of my narcissist ex did this it’s crazy after they played me they want to come back . I know who they are now .Everything you say is true about my ex I still can’t believe I was that damn dumb I really need to forgive myself for giving them the time of day.💔😢🙏
Aloha, unfortunately, I learned the hard way. Fortunately, I’ve learned all that you just brilliantly spoke about; very painful. Wish I could have learned sooner but at least now I know. Am older now and don’t date or desire to anymore. Still occasionally am mad at myself for not listening to my gut feeling all along.
It’s sad that it’s so normalized that men will try to use women. It’s sad that all of the responsibility is put on women to not get used and none on men to not use women. 😢
I agree that relationships that don't work out teach us what we don't want. I also had encountered the " too busy" man and never entertained doing anything with him. Still confused about what he ever wanted.. didn't talk much either, but I agree, women need to "hear" & listen to these guys. Your time is valuable too, so it's time to take responsibility and not give it away. I agree, many people are energy vampires, that resonates strong for me. Do this test with all of your connections. If anyone leaves you upset & drained after spending time or just communicating with them, it's time to step away from them. Thank you for this.
All this happens in my life so much frustrating about this man whom I’m dating it sucks to be with this kind of man in my life, he always puts me down.
Well my parents and grandparents had happy marriages so how and why did I not? Because I was too kind and nice and I must say dumb when it came to men. They all used me except maybe one. So I finally got smart and stayed single and I am very happy and independent now. I have learned many lessons. But you know what if I did ever get into another relationship ( which I never will) I bet the same thing would happen. My personality attracts terrible men. I also did too much for them. I was more like a mother and a fixer upper. Oh well I am smarter now and happier that’s for sure. I think marriage is a wonderful thing if you both work at it and have the respect for one and other. Oh and definitely you must have trust and communication. ☮️
What could be more heartbreaking than loosing a person because of this reasons💔. I loved a man with whole of my heart and I still love him, but he keep finding out flaws out of me and never tried to understand me. Now it hurts a lot💔
If he doesn't try to understand you he is a non-starter. You will be on your own emotionally and perhaps physically - what will be he be like if you have children together?? Or if you lose someone precious to you?? He won't be there for you! waste no more time and find someone who worships the ground you walk on - but also is strong enough to stand up to you in a good way. i had a friend whose boyfriend said, now, what are we going to do about your hair? that is he didn't like it but to her it was the favouratie part of herself. He evenutally dumped her and she met someone who just loves her as she is, even though they argue a bit, and at 60+ they still have a dynamic sexual relatinoship - and two adult children
@@Fern_Yaz_Pets_Music actually, first he wasn't like that and I believe that he is not how he treats me but as we become more closer he told me not to share our things to one of our close friends, but eventually after some days I shared by trusting my friend like we met and ate a sweet dish etc like that stuff and almost I didn't listened to him. It was my fault. He started even getting angry and doubting on me in every small things which I didn't have done. There's a lot things to explain here but the things got worse between us. And he chose to trust my friend rather than trusting me. And lastly..I was the one left alone, broken. There's still many things where he's at fault but I didn't get able to make him see his faults and expected that he may see those by himself but.. lastly he just left me saying that he cares for my friend more than me. 💔 Truly it hurts but by heart I still love him so much and it's not my obsession but I just poured all my heart into him. That's why I love him, even if he doesn't love me back.🙃
@@carlotta4308 you're right. I am trying to move on and just focusing on my self. I know I deserve a great person who can pull me out from my lowest and give me the highest possibilities of mine ,but I loved that man so much, I gave all my heart to him and I still love him. So I want to be the one for myself who can be there for myself now. And neither I want any relationship right now. Either that person comes back by realizing and changing himself for me, otherwise it's great for me to be with myself, strengthen my self from within. Also if someone else comes to my life or not, that'll be totally fine to me. For me.. Love is something that comes once from your heart and only for one person.
I wasted 19 years with a husband who displayed all these traits. I woke up last month, contacted a lawyer and filed a divorce. Even after I filed, he came to me to complain and whine about things, eg. he had the crown broken off his tooth, instead of calling the dental office, he called me. I told him I am not interested to know and I am no longer his emotional dumpster.
How about you make a video on attachment styles? And ofc something to help detach. I have been in love with a guy for 6 years now. Haven't seen him in 4 years. I think it's in my head. Can you relate?
If you haven't seen him in four years, he has moved on. I encourage you to move on , as well. Sometimes, it is hard to get over a guy because they seem perfect but they really aren't. Best wishes. The more you have been in love, the easier it is to get over a man. 😁
@@Hadassahtexas thank you, but I have different situation. It was an unrequited love from my side. Nothing happened between us. He doesn't know anything. But you being in love with him has protected me from falling for other guys. I am focused in everything. No boy drama. LoL but this isn't healthy, tho I like this.
I just met a man and talked in person for 1 hour yesterday - he seemed like he has a quiet demeanor and then the this morning he's texting me half naked pics of himself and his words were very sexual in nature. He's 68 and I'm 59. We are both fit, active and don't look our ages and I thought he was maybe someone nice to get to know BUT it's bothering me what he texted and he wants me to go to his place for a BBQ - no way!! But, do I tell how I feel or just say goodbye....
I lost 4 years. But i didn't give a chance to use me. But i waited and i deppressed, about his behavior. Many men is there, but i can't find mine😢 This vedio is too late for me
My man..... If u have any knowledge about middle east men traditionals or how they think about women inside their heads i really really really hope that you do a video about them ❤
I'm not him and I'm not a man but I would warn against trying to MOLD YOURSELF to be something that a man wants. It's one thing to have knowledge about how they think - that's good - but if you are trying to use that knowledge to then become "his dream girl" then you are giving yourself the raw end of the stick. Why is HE (the man you like) the one calling all the shots?
I've been seeing a man for five years he has not moved from 5 years ago and is very emotionally unavailable it's all about him tried talking to him but always goes back and says well it is not the best time to talk I really don't know what to do 😔
How did you come to know all this at such young age? Where were you when I needed validation? I hope you can teach men these skills before they are too far gone and can't learn anymore. Thank you. God bless you. Ladies....listen up!!!
I am 52 and dated a guy a year, he was very nice n sweet and suddenly he ghosted me! Bumped into him after 2 months, he has to came to say hello but giving me a face like he didn't want to see me!! Damn it and now he is living across the street of my work place and also once in awhile i still bumped into him.. oh my god!!! Why is this happening to me!!!!
The average man does not make you a priority. He wants to know first how you feel about them. Then chances are slim he will pursue you. He just wants power.
Thank you so much sir , I truly appreciate your advice as a man and telling the truth.Thank you for being an honest brother and for helping so many women to understand a man dynamic
Hi Ismail my I found my husband cheated me 9 months I couldn’t find because he hide very well.what can advice to me please I learned 5 weeks ago I am still in pain but I have small kids and baby. I am not freedom to leave him I have no financial freedom just now. Hope you can help me some to find correct balance. Thank you. I am watching your videos thank you for explaining
4:10 😂 totally disregarded her direct question he said let’s get to the chase of what your trying to ask without dwelling on the past & emotions. But spoken facts!!
1) takes but does not give ( your energy, attention, body, money, etc) 2) usage of "maybe" too often (maybe introduce you - maybe marry you - etc) People don't need much time to make a decision when it matters to them 3) needs you as a therapist to solve his issues (one sided) 4) points a "flaw" about you If someone cares about you, they appreciate not affect negatively your self esteem 5) always "busy" - you are not a priority No one is THAT busy
I remember dating a guy who was ALWAYS ALWAYS busy.... We were in college... I worked a job went to school pledged a sorority did things on campus and still made time for him..... But with his schedule?? Im busy I'm busy I'm busy 😒😒😒
Oh, he was invested in me alright. He took all MY investments and valuables, the best years of my life, my youth. I did all the planning for our future which would have made a wonderful retirement. I moved on with optimism. But the horrible people I had to deal with in the environments I wound up in never let me forget the damage he had done in everything I had to cope with my entire life that even as a child I successfully went through with God given strength. I will continue to succeed at this. The grace of knowing the person I admire most in life is Jesus Christ. He is my great Teacher.
If I start talking about me or my day, he zones out 😂 & he won't look up from his phone. I stopped talking and just disappear. Now I'm being accused of cheating 🤷♀️
This is so funny because my ex does all 5. I ve given everything to this women , loyalty, love beautiful children and she completely broke my heart. Constantly , lying ,cheating with friends and strangers. She blames me for everything she did and itmales me question my sanity sometimes . I luckily moved on and found the complete oppisite, a hard working and loyal. We will wed this December. I think u should do videos of both sides .
Wow! I am a women and I am surprised women do this too. But they do. In my relationships the man has always been terrible. I have learned many lessons and I am very happy to be totally Independent and happy now. Although I do believe marriage is a wonderful thing if you have the right partner. Respect, trust, having pretty much the same values and communication are always good to have in a relationship. Oh and of course really love……….Good luck to you next time.
@@widowswatch6610 Yeah I 44 Out of all my years I only have heard this kind of abuse once maybe twice. I spent 23 years eith this girl, she was awful with mental, emotional abuse. She took my 10 yr old son and went and did a paternity test with her nasty ex. This girl has slept with multiple friend of mine then says its my fault because I sent them to her . I could go on and on. I will say I was not perfect and maybe could ve done things different . I was faithful, took care of 2 young kids who weren t mine . And because I put everything into this relationship I m now gonna be alone. Its sad asf .
One sided affection. (If u can get rid of the B. If Instinct tells you, run for the hills. Run for the hills) Uses u for whatever is useful to them Maybe Man Free Therapy his emotional dumping ground. Manipulators/ criticising things about uou Always busy
This guy I was dating for 3 months had a problem with me wearing red lipstick, because of a dillema he went through. I am wearing it now lol! Bye boy! Wow! Thank you Ishamel.
Welp. I probably im the dumbest of all. Still in a toxic relationship. I befriended a man and became such good friends. He later on showed me his true feelings. I absolutely felt everything for him. I felt loved and cared about. Little did i know. I was about to end my 6 year relationship for him and I. I asked him u have any girls, and he said No. We kissed and that was it. Next day!!!!!! Hes walking out with a his ex GF!
The nitpicking. I've always felt he's done this because he is comparing me to another woman. We are married in name only at this point, so change is coming.
Umm, I'll like to share my experience, even though we are not couple but I felt he was hot and cold. Like sometimes beings rude and sometimes being too clingy only after when I talked with my crush. Like ssly wtf
Men think black & white. It’s hard for women to understand because we can think with lots of different tones of grey in between. Simple, İ think women need to be themselves, treat men poorly & keep the mystery in the relationship.
Men think black & white. It’s hard for women to understand because we can think with lots of different tones of grey in between. Simple, İ think women need to be themselves, treat men poorly & keep the mystery in the relationship.
How about, this guy I met always praises me and understands am busy, kept texting and calling, but never plan at least even a mc Donald’s dinner with me. Is that a red flag sign?
In my twenties while in college, I dated a guy who showed a lot of inconsistency, he was a "maybe" kind of person and he didn't see me as a priority in his life despite telling me all of those things women are looking for in a life partner. Also, I thought it was very strange and uncouth of him to insist upon a third party being an extension of our relationship. Both of us were too old to need a chaperone anyway.
I am seeing this military guy we have been there for 6 months now He told me he wanted a break because he was being stressed where he was Starting feeling angry with himself around him 1 months later he was done with his army so he reached out to me after he was done Came telling me why he did that and he’s sorry cause he felt angry with all the training and stuffs He said he was coming back home I am a bit confused because he didn’t hear a word from me when I tried to tell him everything will be okay we shouldn’t break up he didn’t listen and I felt this second love isn’t real Please help me what should I do
Lol like when you go to a luxory cruiser with him and you find out that he didn’t buy the tickets in your name instead in a other girls name. It happened to me and years later the jerk wanted to get together again.
Hello lwant to know more about this. And what if a woman do this to a man is this the same signs l really want to know more about this before l do something
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It means a lot to me to see you want to learn about these topics.
Wishing you had a Twitter account
So you are talking about every other desi man.
All these from my husband. And I made a decision to leave him. Now, 2 days in my new apartment thanks God.
I admire your courage. Wishing you a bright and happier future!
Ky baat h ❤ congratulations 🎊
I hope your comment inspires other women to walk away from relationships that drain their energy and self-worth.
You are literally a warrior 💪🏻
That was brave. Never go back!
Mine told me that nobody would ever marry me because I was "too nice". Years later, I have been married for 40 years with children and grandchildren who love me. He has never been married and has no children or grandchildren. Karma.
Absolute wonderful blessing ❤
It's sad. People play games. I have no time for this anymore.
Thank you. Me too, I have no time and no tolerance for games anymore. A total turn-off. You play games with me, you already lost me.
I want a REAL Loving, Caring MAN who tells me straight up what's what and shows me. In the name of Love❣🌹
Irene
...True Love....that only builds over time.
Irene
Not a Twin Mate.
Not a Soul Mate.
The Best - A Mate by Fate, meant to be. 🕊 🎆
Irene
This guy is gold!!!! I’ve just realised that the guy who pursued me and who I was head over heels with , was not showing me the affection consistently and only when he wants to. I started prioritising myself and not giving him much attention, and now he is subtly trying to reel me in again. I know what I’m dealing with now.
I'm glad my content has been helping you. Next video will be on 'How To Keep a Man Interested in You Without Playing Games.' I'm looking forward to seeing you ladies implement that in your lives as well.
@SaveTheMessenger can't wait for it coach😊
He is more than gold. I ended the relationship last year after experiencing all the things he has mentioned except for number 4 and u know what....that was the best decision I've ever made.
@@SunshineSanji You are dealing with boy
This is why I advise all my friends not to chase men, or put too much energy In it. Most men want what they can't have, or what isn't easily accessible. And definitely don't put out without a solid commitment. For me it has to be marriage. I'm happy being single, and not having to deal with indecisiveness.
Married to a covert narcissist for 43 years was an emotional roller coaster until I educated myself on the personality and divorced him….its been a difficult journey yet I'm in a much better place now living and loving my life every day. So grateful I divorced him and on my own.
@@roypressman2391 Wow. What took you so long to realize? Sorry I hope this question doesn't offend you
Bravo!
Ladies Walk Away👍🌟💫
I always find it interesting that when a "boyfriend" doesn't take a woman out publicly or doesn't consistently check in with her, she doesn't see that as an answer. There's never any need to ask him "why" questions. He has shown you he is not interested. Believe him the FIRST time he tells you who he is. Be glad you dodged a bullet. Learn to read the signs the first-time ladies.
Childhood neglect leads to this easily.... Even parents that supplied well, but worked to much. The list goes on. These people a fall in love way to deeply.... I learned the hard way. We sacrifice self on a hgher scale. It is not all bad... The worst is the mere fact there is to many Vultures out there. And some are DARVO abusers..you know that that is? 🎉
Hm, not sure, what are DARVO abusers?
I'm familiar with many types of Abusers and not just in coupled relationships, but I'm not familiar with this term. Thanks...
Irene
@@natalinobattisti1699 hi Irene, my name is Sandy, DARVO abuse is insedious mental abuse. The best way to obtain a victim for these type of serious psychological abusers is to marry one! The way this abuse works.. There is none better than to marry a spouse and even have children.... Or to do so to coworkers and families. The more dependent the person is on you, or loves you, the more they tolerate and or don't see the abuse..
Other people... Will tell them to f off. Excuse my French.. Eventually most will..
Anyways... They are known to marry psychologist and trip them up. For many of them the end time goal is to lead us to commit suicide and or to go bat crazy for real and think your truly becoming mentally ill and or an anger problem to start with.... I wen to counseling and I said I am getting a anger problem, need anger management...
Anyways... There are tons of licenced psychologist on RUclips. PLEASE get very familiar with this.. It starts with mainly they are annoying more than normal... That will get worst... The biggest... Is the gaslighting and stonewalling communication... This is where you can usually spot them. A good one may toy past here now.. With the internet.. Yet, your gut will tell you...
This is absolutely serious abuse.. I am 2 years into recovery, saved most my money from. Being swallowed up in the abuse and stuck with him more and longer or whatever.. Homelessness to leave... If no family.
Do you remember Amber Heard and what she did to Depp? That is a form of DARVO abuse.. Married him with the intent to later accuse him falsely with lies... That he abused and reaped her..
That is serious abuse.... Very serious... Very evil. Very evil. Some get away with it.. The laws have caught up in many places now.. If you know a victim tell them to go to the professionals online. RUclips.
My son was 8... And he was abused mentally. I didn't know for a few years... Long story... This is truly pschopathic abuse.. I have the normal panic attacks etc now.i will be much better in a year plus.. And much better every day I am not abused by that sick man... There is so many doing this abuse is why they now have the laws. It is a clean hands MO... Crime. For psychos.. But the laws are catching up..
I like to follow Dr Enlightenedme, Dr jimmyforrelationships, Dr Richard Grannon, *****'Professor Sam Vaknin ***** Dr Tim Fletcher, Dr Jim Brillon, Dr Les Carter.. DR Ramoni... There is plenty more. Pass the word along please. And especially any young adult with no family backbone.. Neglected and or abused.. They need it most. They are the ones that get more swooped up, only because they are so easy to manipulate for DARVO abuse...
Hugs..
@@natalinobattisti1699 PS DARVO abusers are also called, reactionary abusers.. The whole goal, one of them, is to keep provoking negative reactions in you and when they are your spouse.. They can make sour lemonade every step of the way... It becomes surreal in the end.. These guys are predators in every psychological way possible at times.. Then back off when the peak becomes to great..the spend about 5 years grooming you or so... there usually will be a little bit of abuse to start with or more than a bit of this sly emotional abuse.. Most of us have no clue it is gojng on.. Unless they overreach. If they do.. We will believe their excuses they seem plausible..
It is unreal the level of premeditation they do for this stuff..
And most of the time, if they don't lead you to commit suicide or whatever they thought.. They usually are known for dragging out the divorce in very abusive ways with lies, getting full custody of the children with lies... They can ans are well known to try to get you thrown into jail for "abuse" you didn't do, even perhaps try to frame you for abusing them, like mine did to me...many of them will be all lovey good in bed likely... And then try to ruin your career... Many have succeeded... Some have ruined honest drs lives, some drs sitting in jail over false allegations.... Because of this sick men and women. Most DARVO abusers are men... If I am correct. Learning a lot still..
Yes. Society needs to know more about these sick individuals.
1. Inconsistent affection. One sided.
2. Maybe man.
3. Loves free therapy. Uses you for emotional dumping
4. Points out your flaw.
5. He’s always busy. You’re not a priority
Thank you, no need to watch now lol 😆
@@macm2373there’s explanation behind those points
Thanks. Now I don't have to watch it 😁
What about inconsistent libido?
Actually I kind of do these things. Argh 😢
My bf is all of those 5. thank you for waking me up from this nightmare.
New knowledge unlocked ✅
Its painful
How to get over from all of these?? Sometimes they become our habits, we started to grow feelings for them... How to get out of that emotional bonding??
@@jayachakraborty412 I need to know too. It’s harder cause he wont give me any closure
@@kky.xyou don’t need closure from him. You have the information you need to give yourself closure. By waiting for him to give closure, he’s still in full control of you.
Im 47 now and done with dating for a long time if not forever. Its easy to find a boy but hard to find a true gentleman
True ❤
I’ve stopped dating men too. I’m so sick of the disappointment and selfishness. Living alone is actually so lovely and peaceful
@@bunniewood Yes many are really selfish, manipulative and unappreciative. They blame us for being dramatic but they can't even see their own problems and what causes women to be this way. It's exhausting
Hate to tell you there’s a lot of old men that you would never even be interested in are still a boy especially divorced man
4B
He’s always busy!
That’s his excuse for not texting me daily!
I just didn’t understand why he can’t take five minutes a day to text with me. I’m not a priority to him!
I needed to hear that thank you ! ❤
I'm glad it resonated with you. You deserve someone who makes you a priority, even with a busy schedule. Never settle for less.
Everyone's has 5 minutes in a day. Whomever says that thet are too busy is a lier.
Ismael, I wish I had found you in my 20s, would have saved me a lot of drama and pain! Thank you so much - your advice is priceless!
He always wanted texting. He never allowed me to call him or he never called me also saying his family members are there. And I was always considering him like a fool and always chasing him like a shameless woman.... now enough is enough...no more chance....
He might be married be or sorry he might not be interested anymore..
@@tinaali3686 he said he is unmarried and he is 43 years old...he is very diplomatic type person... lastly I found out that he talked to everyone except me...he was using me because of my kind simple heart and I realised late 😭😭
Same here, but yeah I have too much pride to pursue someone like him LoL
@@Seaturtle098 😁😁😜👍
Probably married.
All five things are present with a person I’m currently considering…thank you for the heads up!
I'm glad my video found you today.
RUN!!! 🏃➡️🏃➡️🏃➡️🏃➡️🏃➡️
Well, he has all 5 signs, finally decided to let him go a month ago after a year of mental abuse and severe trauma. Hope I never spiral back.
stay strong.
LOVE AND RESPECT YOURSELF
Many years ago, my boss started chasing g me, out of the blue. We’d not even had a good working relationship. Other than the fact that I wouldn’t sleep with my married boss, I knew I had to get any romantic ideas out of my head, which wasn’t easy as, he was a very good looking, very sexy man and this chase went on, for about 4 years. But I had to consider he just wanted to use me. That he might’ve not been getting his needs met, at home and that, as a single, black woman, I might’ve been seen as low hanging fruit and a place for him to “put it”. That, even by the racial and body type difference, he could simply say I wasn’t even his type so, why would he even be looking at me? And, although this chase went on, for quite sometime and he either didn’t notice others were picking up on it or didn’t care, because he’d become company president, I knew it could simply be entitlement. Still, it would be using me and I knew he might fire me, for me complying, with the very thing he was asking for.
As I listen to this,um realising that indeed I wasted 8 good years of my life with a toxic man. I feel so much hate towards him.
Please be aware that you are still giving away your energy by having those hateful thoughts towards him, which only hurts you in the end (bitterness). A narcissist doesn't even deserve that, and he certainly would not care anyway.
I noticed all these things in various relationships I've been in. But as I have gotten older I see more of the bigger picture so things end pretty quickly if they even begin
Both of my narcissist ex did this it’s crazy after they played me they want to come back . I know who they are now .Everything you say is true about my ex I still can’t believe I was that damn dumb I really need to forgive myself for giving them the time of day.💔😢🙏
You have such a caring disposition, thank you.
I appreciate you for saying that.
Aloha, unfortunately, I learned the hard way. Fortunately, I’ve learned all that you just brilliantly spoke about; very painful. Wish I could have learned sooner but at least now I know. Am older now and don’t date or desire to anymore. Still occasionally am mad at myself for not listening to my gut feeling all along.
It’s sad that it’s so normalized that men will try to use women. It’s sad that all of the responsibility is put on women to not get used and none on men to not use women. 😢
Thank you so so much, you have just opened my eyes.
I agree that relationships that don't work out teach us what we don't want. I also had encountered the " too busy" man and never entertained doing anything with him. Still confused about what he ever wanted.. didn't talk much either, but I agree, women need to "hear" & listen to these guys. Your time is valuable too, so it's time to take responsibility and not give it away. I agree, many people are energy vampires, that resonates strong for me. Do this test with all of your connections. If anyone leaves you upset & drained after spending time or just communicating with them, it's time to step away from them.
Thank you for this.
All this happens in my life so much frustrating about this man whom I’m dating it sucks to be with this kind of man in my life, he always puts me down.
A man who puts you down is not worth your time.
Leave him and look for a man who appreciates your company ❤
I did it years ago and never looked back
Trying to control you. Also, trying to ruin your confidence so you aren't confident enough to get a better man. Many men do this.
Girl leave him he's probably insecure that he doesn't deserve you or jealous of you and doesn't want you to realise your own worth
You deserve to be treated nice.
get out get out get out; my dad put my mum down all their married life until she had a stroke and couldn't talk as much. 50 years...
Thank you Sir I have heard what I was wondering about him
Well my parents and grandparents had happy marriages so how and why did I not? Because I was too kind and nice and I must say dumb when it came to men. They all used me except maybe one. So I finally got smart and stayed single and I am very happy and independent now. I have learned many lessons. But you know what if I did ever get into another relationship ( which I never will) I bet the same thing would happen. My personality attracts terrible men. I also did too much for them. I was more like a mother and a fixer upper. Oh well I am smarter now and happier that’s for sure. I think marriage is a wonderful thing if you both work at it and have the respect for one and other. Oh and definitely you must have trust and communication. ☮️
Just curious. Are you an empath?
brilliant as usual 🙏
I have lived long enough to experience what it feels like to be loved and when you have experienced that, it’s easy to identify a fake
What could be more heartbreaking than loosing a person because of this reasons💔. I loved a man with whole of my heart and I still love him, but he keep finding out flaws out of me and never tried to understand me. Now it hurts a lot💔
Can't understand why you love him then.. Why would you if he treats you that way?
@@Fern_Yaz_Pets_Music codependency
If he doesn't try to understand you he is a non-starter. You will be on your own emotionally and perhaps physically - what will be he be like if you have children together?? Or if you lose someone precious to you?? He won't be there for you! waste no more time and find someone who worships the ground you walk on - but also is strong enough to stand up to you in a good way. i had a friend whose boyfriend said, now, what are we going to do about your hair? that is he didn't like it but to her it was the favouratie part of herself. He evenutally dumped her and she met someone who just loves her as she is, even though they argue a bit, and at 60+ they still have a dynamic sexual relatinoship - and two adult children
@@Fern_Yaz_Pets_Music actually, first he wasn't like that and I believe that he is not how he treats me but as we become more closer he told me not to share our things to one of our close friends, but eventually after some days I shared by trusting my friend like we met and ate a sweet dish etc like that stuff and almost I didn't listened to him. It was my fault. He started even getting angry and doubting on me in every small things which I didn't have done. There's a lot things to explain here but the things got worse between us. And he chose to trust my friend rather than trusting me. And lastly..I was the one left alone, broken.
There's still many things where he's at fault but I didn't get able to make him see his faults and expected that he may see those by himself but.. lastly he just left me saying that he cares for my friend more than me. 💔
Truly it hurts but by heart I still love him so much and it's not my obsession but I just poured all my heart into him. That's why I love him, even if he doesn't love me back.🙃
@@carlotta4308 you're right. I am trying to move on and just focusing on my self. I know I deserve a great person who can pull me out from my lowest and give me the highest possibilities of mine ,but I loved that man so much, I gave all my heart to him and I still love him. So I want to be the one for myself who can be there for myself now.
And neither I want any relationship right now. Either that person comes back by realizing and changing himself for me, otherwise it's great for me to be with myself, strengthen my self from within. Also if someone else comes to my life or not, that'll be totally fine to me.
For me.. Love is something that comes once from your heart and only for one person.
I wasted 19 years with a husband who displayed all these traits. I woke up last month, contacted a lawyer and filed a divorce. Even after I filed, he came to me to complain and whine about things, eg. he had the crown broken off his tooth, instead of calling the dental office, he called me. I told him I am not interested to know and I am no longer his emotional dumpster.
How about you make a video on attachment styles? And ofc something to help detach.
I have been in love with a guy for 6 years now. Haven't seen him in 4 years. I think it's in my head. Can you relate?
If you haven't seen him in four years, he has moved on. I encourage you to move on , as well. Sometimes, it is hard to get over a guy because they seem perfect but they really aren't. Best wishes. The more you have been in love, the easier it is to get over a man. 😁
@@Hadassahtexas thank you, but I have different situation. It was an unrequited love from my side. Nothing happened between us. He doesn't know anything.
But you being in love with him has protected me from falling for other guys. I am focused in everything. No boy drama. LoL but this isn't healthy, tho I like this.
Very good advice!!
Thank you for sharing.
I’m happy to hear you found the advice valuable. Thank you.
Wow 😦 I am awake now
@SaveTheMessengerr how can I help you
Betrayal reframed as they did you a favour? So you could learn something? What a nonsense.
Thanks Ishmael for these tips. I've always had my instinct tells me this guy is just using me and wasting my time, I know better now, well clarified 🎉
I just met a man and talked in person for 1 hour yesterday - he seemed like he has a quiet demeanor and then the this morning he's texting me half naked pics of himself and his words were very sexual in nature. He's 68 and I'm 59. We are both fit, active and don't look our ages and I thought he was maybe someone nice to get to know BUT it's bothering me what he texted and he wants me to go to his place for a BBQ - no way!! But, do I tell how I feel or just say goodbye....
I lost 4 years. But i didn't give a chance to use me. But i waited and i deppressed, about his behavior. Many men is there, but i can't find mine😢
This vedio is too late for me
My man.....
If u have any knowledge about middle east men traditionals or how they think about women inside their heads i really really really hope that you do a video about them
❤
I'm not him and I'm not a man but I would warn against trying to MOLD YOURSELF to be something that a man wants. It's one thing to have knowledge about how they think - that's good - but if you are trying to use that knowledge to then become "his dream girl" then you are giving yourself the raw end of the stick. Why is HE (the man you like) the one calling all the shots?
@@Ifidreamitidoit3566
I agree with you my friend
But personally it's important to me being able to understand how the person Infront of me thinks
Only a narcissisist or psykopat will do that contantly.
Been married to one.
I've been seeing a man for five years he has not moved from 5 years ago and is very emotionally unavailable it's all about him tried talking to him but always goes back and says well it is not the best time to talk I really don't know what to do 😔
How did you come to know all this at such young age? Where were you when I needed validation? I hope you can teach men these skills before they are too far gone and can't learn anymore. Thank you. God bless you. Ladies....listen up!!!
I try to speak to men as well as much as I can. Funny enough, they usually come to me because their partner watches my content.
@@SaveTheMessenger That's funny and sad at the same time.
I am 52 and dated a guy a year, he was very nice n sweet and suddenly he ghosted me! Bumped into him after 2 months, he has to came to say hello but giving me a face like he didn't want to see me!! Damn it and now he is living across the street of my work place and also once in awhile i still bumped into him.. oh my god!!! Why is this happening to me!!!!
Definitely, not a priority, i pulled back my energy
The average man does not make you a priority. He wants to know first how you feel about them. Then chances are slim he will pursue you. He just wants power.
Thank you so much sir , I truly appreciate your advice as a man and telling the truth.Thank you for being an honest brother and for helping so many women to understand a man dynamic
I am new on the dating scene and have grown so much in recognizing red flags from your videos. So grateful -? Thank you. 🙏🏻😇❤️
Hi Ismail my I found my husband cheated me 9 months I couldn’t find because he hide very well.what can advice to me please I learned 5 weeks ago I am still in pain but I have small kids and baby. I am not freedom to leave him I have no financial freedom just now. Hope you can help me some to find correct balance. Thank you. I am watching your videos thank you for explaining
4:10 😂 totally disregarded her direct question he said let’s get to the chase of what your trying to ask without dwelling on the past & emotions. But spoken facts!!
Excellent
My NARCISSIST gambling cheating thief ex. 🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮
100%!!! 👏
No.5 is with my boyfriend.
He’s right a Man will MAKE TIME For a Woman. FACTS 🙌🏾🙌🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Ismael what nationality are you?
Cuban-American.
You are absolutely 💯 CORRECT! STAY AWAY FROM THESE MONSTERS!😊
1) takes but does not give ( your energy, attention, body, money, etc)
2) usage of "maybe" too often (maybe introduce you - maybe marry you - etc)
People don't need much time to make a decision when it matters to them
3) needs you as a therapist to solve his issues (one sided)
4) points a "flaw" about you
If someone cares about you, they appreciate not affect negatively your self esteem
5) always "busy" - you are not a priority
No one is THAT busy
Great perspectives, Ismael! Thanks for your insight and honesty.
Ismael, i came across your channel recently.Your words are absolutely right.
No one. No one. No one makes me feel unimportant. Can we grow up?
I remember dating a guy who was ALWAYS ALWAYS busy.... We were in college... I worked a job went to school pledged a sorority did things on campus and still made time for him..... But with his schedule?? Im busy I'm busy I'm busy 😒😒😒
Maybe im using him ... and its all good!! ❤
👍🏻
My husband. Its my second marriage and im still in my twenties so im scared to walk away
No need to be scared...if he has all these qualities, walk away ,better to live life alone than with someone who is like this
Oh, he was invested in me alright. He took all MY investments and valuables, the best years of my life, my youth. I did all the planning for our future which would have made a wonderful retirement. I moved on with optimism. But the horrible people I had to deal with in the environments I wound up in never let me forget the damage he had done in everything I had to cope with my entire life that even as a child I successfully went through with God given strength. I will continue to succeed at this. The grace of knowing the person I admire most in life is Jesus Christ. He is my great Teacher.
If I start talking about me or my day, he zones out 😂 & he won't look up from his phone. I stopped talking and just disappear. Now I'm being accused of cheating 🤷♀️
You citing Bashar just made you 5x more credible😂❤
Good stuff Ismael! Every bit is true!
I appreciate the support. I’m glad the content resonates with you.
This is so funny because my ex does all 5. I ve given everything to this women , loyalty, love beautiful children and she completely broke my heart. Constantly , lying ,cheating with friends and strangers. She blames me for everything she did and itmales me question my sanity sometimes . I luckily moved on and found the complete oppisite, a hard working and loyal. We will wed this December. I think u should do videos of both sides .
Wow! I am a women and I am surprised women do this too. But they do. In my relationships the man has always been terrible. I have learned many lessons and I am very happy to be totally Independent and happy now. Although I do believe marriage is a wonderful thing if you have the right partner. Respect, trust, having pretty much the same values and communication are always good to have in a relationship. Oh and of course really love……….Good luck to you next time.
@@widowswatch6610 Yeah I 44 Out of all my years I only have heard this kind of abuse once maybe twice. I spent 23 years eith this girl, she was awful with mental, emotional abuse. She took my 10 yr old son and went and did a paternity test with her nasty ex. This girl has slept with multiple friend of mine then says its my fault because I sent them to her . I could go on and on. I will say I was not perfect and maybe could ve done things different . I was faithful, took care of 2 young kids who weren t mine . And because I put everything into this relationship I m now gonna be alone. Its sad asf .
He's busy always with empty promises!! god !!!
One sided affection.
(If u can get rid of the B. If Instinct tells you, run for the hills. Run for the hills)
Uses u for whatever is useful to them
Maybe Man
Free Therapy his emotional dumping ground.
Manipulators/ criticising things about uou
Always busy
Thankyou sir 😊
Bashar is an Imposter and I am someone that values Channelers FYI ;-)
This guy I was dating for 3 months had a problem with me wearing red lipstick, because of a dillema he went through. I am wearing it now lol! Bye boy! Wow! Thank you Ishamel.
He was also showing jealousy and controlling signs too.
Tell him to call a specialist 😂hahaha. Good one and True
Hard to do if you've been married 30 yrs. Not so easy when kids are involved
Totally agree with you thanks for your advice 🌸💖
Thanks for the vital relationship fyi. Blessings Always 🙏💯
Welp. I probably im the dumbest of all. Still in a toxic relationship. I befriended a man and became such good friends. He later on showed me his true feelings. I absolutely felt everything for him. I felt loved and cared about. Little did i know. I was about to end my 6 year relationship for him and I. I asked him u have any girls, and he said No. We kissed and that was it. Next day!!!!!! Hes walking out with a his ex GF!
Thank you so much I enjoyed watching that❤❤❤
Thanks for the clarifying advice! Wish id heard it 30 years ago!.
❤first watch
The nitpicking. I've always felt he's done this because he is comparing me to another woman. We are married in name only at this point, so change is coming.
If they don't love Jesus Christ they need not to apply sign Cynthia Smith
Umm, I'll like to share my experience, even though we are not couple but I felt he was hot and cold. Like sometimes beings rude and sometimes being too clingy only after when I talked with my crush. Like ssly wtf
Thank you for all your advice ❤😊
You’re welcome. I’m glad the advice is helpful.
Men think black & white.
It’s hard for women to understand because we can think with lots of different tones of grey in between.
Simple, İ think women need to be themselves, treat men poorly & keep the mystery in the relationship.
Men think black & white.
It’s hard for women to understand because we can think with lots of different tones of grey in between.
Simple, İ think women need to be themselves, treat men poorly & keep the mystery in the relationship.
How about, this guy I met always praises me and understands am busy, kept texting and calling, but never plan at least even a mc Donald’s dinner with me. Is that a red flag sign?
Yes! And when he is your husband, divorce him as soon as possible.Stay alone or you may find a perfect person later but you will have peace of mind.
He’s always busy.
In my twenties while in college, I dated a guy who showed a lot of inconsistency, he was a "maybe" kind of person and he didn't see me as a priority in his life despite telling me all of those things women are looking for in a life partner. Also, I thought it was very strange and uncouth of him to insist upon a third party being an extension of our relationship. Both of us were too old to need a chaperone anyway.
He’s doing all these and I’m making his ass watch this video right now
I heard that men do marry for camouflage...like having an affair with a married woman but marry another to camo his affair.
Uuuhhh, these are narcissistic behavioral traits, let’s call it what it is, not just selfish.
I am seeing this military guy we have been there for 6 months now
He told me he wanted a break because he was being stressed where he was
Starting feeling angry with himself around him
1 months later he was done with his army so he reached out to me after he was done
Came telling me why he did that and he’s sorry cause he felt angry with all the training and stuffs
He said he was coming back home
I am a bit confused because he didn’t hear a word from me when I tried to tell him everything will be okay we shouldn’t break up he didn’t listen and I felt this second love isn’t real
Please help me what should I do
Lol like when you go to a luxory cruiser with him and you find out that he didn’t buy the tickets in your name instead in a other girls name. It happened to me and years later the jerk wanted to get together again.
Hello lwant to know more about this. And what if a woman do this to a man is this the same signs l really want to know more about this before l do something
instructions are unclear, why the signs are matching my actions more that his actions 💀