I have a cat she is black and white and white. Honestly, one day I looked at her and asked "do you know that you look like a cop car?" She stuck her tongue out at me ROFLMAO I had my phone I have a picture of her doing that.
I think it’s worth asking if you truly believe them to be a friend. I have done that and learned a lot about myself, including how to be a better friend. If they beat around the bush & are not honest it’s time to let that friendship go or reframe it as a different type of friendship (maybe just someone to hang with when you’re bored - that doesn’t make you a user if they’re the ones who made that choice). On the other hand, a real friend will give you some reason. Sometimes it’s that you have been so busy & turned down so many invitations that they gave up, at least for short notice events. Sometimes it’s that they simply had the wrong number for you. I had specifically stated that I was done with men at one point then when I asked why my single girlfriends didn’t invite me out dancing, their response made me realize that their motivation for going dancing was mainly to meet men & if I wasn’t doing the same thing & expected them to stay with me all night, that would have defeated the purpose. I actually would have been fine either sitting alone people watching while they danced or striking up a conversation with a stranger but I had to explain that so they knew I wouldn’t be hurt when they went onto to dance floor or off to a quiet room with a man.
She's generally harmless just turned out to be irritating and played radio I list a stone and ended around 5. Eventually gained it back. I did get approved for transfer.
Yep. When I was around 50 years old I made a decision to get the toxic people out of my life. These also included family members. I was in my so called golden years. I didn't want to play mind games anymore. I didn't want the drama in my life anymore. I only wanted to surround myself with positive pleasant people. Life is too short and I want to enjoy my last years on this earth.
I’m 62 years old and now I prefer if people don’t care for me. They don’t pay my bills and I’m doing just fine without out them in my life. Don’t sweat it and consider it a blessing.
Wow, I felt every word of this video! The way you described back-handed compliments and social exclusion hit home. It's so true that we often overlook these signs to avoid discomfort 😔 How do you handle these situations now???
. Yes. I acquired a Severe Concussion. In 2012. My emotions were very wimpy I cried alot. I started to think about. Some friends that WERE NOT THERE FOR ME... A LITTLE CALL NOW AND AGAIN. BUT I BEGAN TO REALIZE I HAD GONE 100X FARTHER FOR A FEW FRIENDS. I FOUND MY *EMOTIONAL BANK ACCT WAS BANKRUPT* I DID NOT RECEIVE MUCH ATTENTION IN MY TIME IF NEED. AND I FELT BETRAYED THAT I WAS NOT USEFUL TO THEM SO I DIDNT COUNT ANY LONGER. I WAS USED BY THESE FRIENDS FOR YRS SO I DECIDED I WAS GOING TO CLEAN UP MY FRIENDS LIST!! I WAS READY TO ACCEPT THAT I WAS NOT ANY VALUE TO THESE FRIENDS. SO I JUST DISAPPEARED. I WAS SAD ABOUT LOOSING CONTACT WITH MY GOD CHILDREN. BUT THEY R ADULTS NOW AND HAVE THEIR OWN LIVES. I AM HAPPY THAT I WAS A VERY GOOD GODMOTHER TO THOSE KIDS FROM BABIES TO GRADUATION AND ONE TO AGE 21. I HAD TO CUT OFF A 10 UR FRIENDSHIP. WHILE ON VACATION IN MIDDLE EAST. BECAUSE MY FRIEND DISRESPECTED ME SO BADLY. 2 OTHER FRIENDS JOINED THIS GROUP ALSO. I STILL CANT BELIEVE THESE 3 WERE SO TERRIBLE FOR 20DAYS OF TRIP AND THEN TRIED TO MAKE UP TO ME. BUT. I WAS NOT READY TO FORGIVE THEM FOR A VERY LONG TIME. I AM AT PEACE WITH ALL MY DECISIONS OF LETTING FRIENDS GO. FROM 2011....2015 == 6 PPL. I LEARNED THAT I SHOULD HAVE HAD HIGHER EXPECTATIONS CONCERNING RESPECT, LYING AND TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME. BUT I LIKED CERTAIN EVENTS WITH THESE PPL SO I ACCEPTED THEM AND THEIR FRIENDSHIP WITH ME IN A LIVING KINDNESS WAY. IVE GROWN TO EVALUATE PPL ALOT MORE CAREFULLY. AND JUST NOT GET TOO CLOSE!!
I left quietly recently but this video is saying to confront them and now I realize that's what I should have done. Because I left quietly, my situation feels like it needs closure.
@@eb9520. Good point. I did the same but after continuing research about the toxic family dynamics I found out my family was described as an AMBIENT COVERT type. Everything was IMPLICIT not explicit. This type is the worst & diabolical so nothing works with these covert malignant narcissist types. I had to just let it all go. It is frustrating though so I understand where ur coming from. Bless us all in these times with such evil people. One of my brothers raged against me one time and said I ruined our family by exposing a secret in the family which I had an obligation to do. He insulted and raged so hard that I thought he wanted me murdered. It triggered & traumatized me at the time but for some reason I stayed low keyed and calm but knew he was a danger to me and it convinced me that there is serious mental illness in my family of origin. I just had to take care of myself and continued on with my own recovery process. With continued prayer to God my spiritual Father I’ve been able to do what I’ve been doing. God bless you EB.
That’s the advice my mom gave me many moons ago, and it’s the way I have always handled things. If they’re not smart enough to figure out what they did, they won’t get it if I try to explain.
@@eb9520 The video is objectively wrong for one reason alone: The perspective has nothing to do with stoicism, stoicism is about altering your perspective and knowing that you changing it will lead you forwards, not some "deeper wisdom" in "letting others know that you will fight for their attention" I unsubscribed the moment I heard that, be careful of what you consider "stoic"
*SUBMIT TO GOD* From whence _come_ wars and fightings among you? _come they_ not hence, _even_ of your lust that war in your members? King James Version -James 4:1 Do you know where your fights and arguments come from? They come from the selfish desires that make war inside you. Easy to Read Version -James 4:1
Why? Where you are physically standing shouldn’t make any difference. If you actually are stoic you wouldn’t care. You’d stay wherever you are because that’s where you wanted to be or needed to be to begin with. Their proximity would be irrelevant.
@@randypayne141 why continue to put any amount of energy or (the most valuable thing any of us will ever have) TIME to them? makes no sense. each second that is passed you die and a new you are formed. through experience and age your not who you where and cant get that back. In 1 second from now you could experience the worst thing you will have to in this life and never be able to deal with it. and will be a very different person. you might suddenly no longer be able to move your body at all. do you want to use those last seconds basically reviewing what someone else did wrong to you? or doing something you want to be doing by your choice without influence from them.
@@BrendaSmith-ej2jy absolutely nothing wrong with helping. do help. and then think nothing of it. there will not be reciprocation and if that played in any way to your motivation than your motivation was just as flawed as their response to your help.
I'm 82 y.o. and find myself really alone. My last long-term friend died last year. I have experienced all of these people and have not actually missed them. I prefer my critters because they are honest. I have concluded that I am not particularly likeable and I'm not willing to go phony just to have someone to play with. Actually, I am quite content with my life.😅🎉❤😅🎉❤
@@Susannah472 Thank you. I consider myself fortunate to be able to remember the lessons along the way. Too bad elderly folks become invisible to the young. We could save them a lot of heartbreak! Bless you
That pure, unfiltered excitement from your dog speaks volumes about the unconditional love that’s so rare to find elsewhere. It’s incredible how animals can teach us what genuine connection feels like-no expectations, no pretenses, just pure happiness in the presence of the ones they love. The way your dog greets you with such joy every time is a reminder of the simple yet profound relationships that enrich our lives in ways we often take for granted. Have you ever noticed how that kind of pure connection can teach us about what truly matters in our human relationships as well?
@@stoickingdomoffical absolutely have noticed. And have you ever noticed that dog lovers are usually kinder to their own kind as well?🩵🐾🩵🫣 ...because they have learned something more about love from their dogs.
Wow that is very insightful. Thank you I have felt this before but did not how to articulate it. But my instincts were telling me something was wrong with this picture
Power back in prayer. Tell-A-Vision. The keys. When the Bible was being edited by the Pharisee and Sanhedrin, (who later took the titles Pope and the council of Cardinals) They deliberately broke the Lord's prayer when they instituted the translation in the Latin. They did, infact, turn our Father Creator into a fetch-/-vending machine. Thereby, leaving every part of it up to him. Hallow your own name, do your own will, restore your kingdom yourself. (Think about it.) What of this includes you? None of it includes you. Other than you being a sit on the couch recipient of his deeds, of course. Originally, Jesus had said it in the Greek. And here it is. Our Father who art in heaven. Thy name must be being Hallowed. (That means, you Hallow it.) They Will must be being done on earth as it is in heaven. (Guess who's on earth? You are. It's up to you to do his Will here.) Thy kingdom must be being restored. (Yeah, that's you again. And for the individual, it doesn't mean unto the whole world, it is generational. Lovingly, slowly, repetitively, patiently tell your children. Ten years, that's how long it takes to put it in their hearts. Remember, do not turn it into a weapon. Your neck, the mill stone and the sea.) Give us today, our tomorrow's bread. (The wisdom of Jesus, as though we stood beside him in the present tense.) Forgive us our failings as we forgive those who have hurt us. (Now, what I am writing here will make a lot more sense once you have read, keys to the Kingdom. If you have truly reconciled them unto your heart and forgiven them to the full measure, is this not the first time that this has come out of your mouth in all it's intended honesty? I'm betting it is.) Lead us away from evil, delivering us from its temptation as these are not that which you intended. (This may differ as I could not find the translation for accuracy.) Bottom line here is that you are a required part of the power pack. He goes before us and prepares the way. Is Simply this. You want or need a better position and pay. So, you pray unto the Father and he, because the Father is a mind, he is mentality, (the kybalion will explain this perfectly.) He reaches forth in thought, whispering to the hearts and minds of those who will assist you, to give you that which you have asked for. (In belief. Ask, believe and receive.)This requires you to do your part, go to work. Recognize that the Father wants a personal relationship with you, and he desires that you want one with him. That means, you have your part in this. Do your part. Now, remembering that our Father is a mind, he, when communicating with the prophets did this in visions. So, when you pray to the Father remember, the words are for you to build a vision with. In essence, Tell-A-Vision to the Father. Let him see it in your mind. Be clear, get precise, aim for accuracy. Now, in order for prayer to work, the the Father said, if you have anything against your brother go make peace, really. And you know as well as anyone, in this day and anger age, it's often unwise to do so, in person, that is. Follow the instructions below. The Keys to the Kingdom When one understands reconciliation to its fullest meaning, one understands forgiveness. Without reconciliation, forgiveness cannot stand. Reconciliation kills, on impact, all negative emotion. All of it, from your first breath, unto your last. The only emotion that reconciliation cannot defend itself against, is that of love. Love is energy, your soul is energy. So, if the adage, you are what you eat, is true, then the only thing feeding your soul is love and your soul will mature properly and become love in of itself, as we have been commanded, to become like our Father. Who, in of himself, is love. Vengeance is mine, said the Lord, because when you give him vengeance, he turns it into correction and saves his other child, if they will let him. Imagine how you are going to feel towards your enemy in heaven. If you can really imagine the truest form of that feeling, congratulations, those feelings have just transcended time and space. In essence, you asked, asked to see, that's prayer, you believed what you saw, you received it, you felt it. Again, congratulations, you just asked, believed and received. The Father creator loved us, reconciled us unto himself and forgave us. The steps matter. Unless reconciliation is first, forgiveness falls flat on it's face and dies. Forsake the parade. Go unto the Father yourself and take the walk of life with your hand in his. And consider this, with our Father, I truly believe it's, come as you are and I will change you as I need you. Start your commitment to him with these words if they suit you. Finish the statements. Here I am. I am willing. What is the truth? And you had better be sincere or it's going to fail. (Anger. Let us deal with this for a moment. If you are angry about something that happened three weeks ago, it's because, you have a muscle in your stomach, you know the one, that is a chemical junkie. This muscle was present when that particular memory was created and stored. And it calls out that chemical signature, and forces you to re-live that moment, so it can feed, you have not been angry in a long time, you been duped. And now that you know, what are you going to do, fake angry? As soon as you begin to feel angry about anything from the past, stop it. Just take a look around you, and know nothing happened to you today, unless it actually did. And if it did, that's the only thing you can be truly angry about.) (Do not invite the back stabber to your table, here. What they did matters, they, given the opportunity, will do it again. You have a date in heaven, see them there. Old people bring old habits.) (Live in reconciliation. Do not leave that state of being.) (Live in believe, of ask, believe and receive. This would have been better stated as, ask believe and be given. Recieving means to be given, therefore, it's not up to you to move beyond, believe. That's the Father's right and it also allows for recognition of his works and compassion. Also, Throw away the timer.) (Regarding Faith. Faith is simply loyalty. Loyalty to the fact that you asked, loyalty to the fact that you believed. Stay loyal, stay faithful. Or one might choose to see Faith from the vantage point of, staying true.) (As for the judgement room that we have all heard of, well, it may surprise you to learn that that room is in your head, and it's running constantly. We all have a piece of the Christ Consciousness in our minds. All of us. This is how silent prayer is heard. And anytime you do anything good or bad, your heart has an intention and emotional reaction. That intention and emotional reaction is what's being judged. And your judgement is handed down second to last breath. Because up until then you can change your mind about your intention to our Father. You can come to understand this better if you read the letters on the internet from nurses who have been presant for the death of those patients they have been charged to take care of. Worst death bed passings, you'll find them. And you will find good one's as well. This is why your sincerity in your commitment to the Father and to honesty with him are so very important.) (Do not end your prayers with, Amen. To you, this has always meant the prayer has ended. And in that, your right. It's over. End your prayers with, So Be It. This way the energy moves into the future. And it's the translation of, Amen, but in words that, as you understand, have a whole different meaning.) (Do not judge lest you be judged with the same measure. Meaning, when we judge we will be put in the same situation, doing the same thing that we were judging others for. Break all judgements through sincere intention. After all, people and situations change. So, let it be to you as this, "They are still alive." No further, for the Father has got this.) (Anxiety/Stagnation is common place with our Father. He gives us time for what he is teaching us to take it's place in our lives and become a living part of who we are before adding more of his wisdom to our mindset. If it were not so with man, what we learned would become buried under the new knowledge and become worthless.)
@RaymondBastien-li6co wow thank you for teaching me! how did I find this message in such a random place? you wrote about things I’ve wanted to find lately, but wasn’t looking for. I believe in Jesus as my king and friend and I’m rly interested in prayer and how spirits operate in combination with the goings on of earth. there’s something I’ve been wondering about, can I ask you? I don’t understand healing, but I trust God. it seems to me that he heals some and not others be his will is done. but why then are we allowed to use his power to heal? when I see someone put their hands on another and say to be healed in the name of Jesus, I know it’s supposed to work because we have authority. but when it doesn’t work, I don’t know why. I tried to heal my rabbit the other day and she didn’t get healed. so I figure I’m missing something here, I’m doing something wrong or it wasn’t God’s will for her to be healed. I don’t know why. I cannot judge God. I just want to know so many things
@@manda00613 to better understand the principles of the power that you are trying to access I recommend the gospel of Thomas and the kybalion. I also recommend trying healing with a statement like, I just love it when you're well. Or I just love it when you're healthy. The emotion of love must be something that you feel in your heart and it must be happy while you are saying it.
1) 0:46 Mean-spirited jokes 2) 4:50 Back-handed compliments 3) 9:18 Exclusion from plans 4) 13:14 Too busy, only when it comes to you 5) 16:59 Avoiding physical contact with you 6) 21:10 Aren't supportive/present during your crises 7) 24:57 Gossip behind your back
You’re important and you are deeply cared for. Your brother is giving you words of wisdom, listen to him, report back and give the internet an update on what else he has to say. It’s okay to be courageous, and encourage others 👉🏼💯✅
I'm 45 years old now. The moment I turned 25 I made sure No one treats me like crap. I have extremely sharp facial expressions that show folks I don't play games and they know. No one has messed with me since. When people make jokes about you; don't laugh, just stare. They'll get the message.
Right I have been mostly with out for many years an im 50 I have come to hate people sad but true I don't even talk to my own mother she has lied about things of me an so some of my siblings not talk to me yet some do as she has done the same to them sick sad but what can you do
These are the qualities of my toxic family. At 62, I have finally gone completely no-contact and I have never felt better. Getting to know my true self is now an amazing journey of a lifetime.
I'm in my sixties and went no contact. Smartest, sanest choice in the circumstances. As you go on, you too will notice more and more freedoms, small and large, more lifting of pressure, more spreading of your wings ❤
Same here....mine are self absorbed, greedy and disrespectful. Family is over-rated. If you have a good family then you are blessed. I took myself to Japan for 15 years and avoided all that nonsense and drama. God bless.
Usually if someone gives you money they are a true friend. And if they loan you money by all means do whatever you have to do to pay them back as quick as possible. Is only a true friend will loan you money.
My brother betrayed me by weaponizing what I had told him in confidence against me as well. You can imagine the shock, hurt, disappointment and humiliation I felt. I was blindsided. When I confronted him about his decision to gossip about me and disrespect me he played it down and said I was overreacting. For me the trust is gone now. Once it’s gone you can never get it back.
@@stephanies6770 Time to move on and disassociate with such individuals who are greedy and did not have your wellbeing at heart! Their true agenda is greed mix with selfishness. Let them go out of your life, let the hurt go and create a good future for yourself without them!!! Achieve, live in peace and happiness! Live as if they don’t exist!!!! You’ll be fine!🎉
@@ritalawson7020 That's only because they don't speak. If they did we would not like and feed them. The feeding part is what they care about and I find that animals are no closer to Tao than we are. They simply don't attempt to be legendary. Offspring is their only legend.
@@VintageJoeStalin and yet there are videos and documentaries about stray dogs saving children who they don't know. dogs evolved with humans and humans have had dogs for over 30,000 years.
To embrace the fact that not everyone will like you without feeling the need to bend or compromise is a testament to your self-confidence and wisdom. It's a level of emotional maturity that many aspire to but few truly achieve. You’ve chosen the path of peace, where the need for external validation fades, leaving only the clarity of self-acceptance. It's beautiful, and your calmness in this realization is deeply inspiring. Was there a specific moment or experience that helped you reach this peaceful understanding?
@@Katiekay. The way you describe being "impervious to their negative energy" paints a vivid picture of someone who has mastered their emotions and refuses to let outside forces disturb their peace. It’s such a vital reminder that true strength comes not from controlling others, but from maintaining our own sense of calm and purpose, regardless of the chaos around us. Thank you for sharing such a thoughtful perspective! Have you ever encountered a situation where someone’s negative energy almost got to you, but your confidence kept you grounded? I'd love to hear how you navigated that moment!
@@stoickingdomoffical I have but I must admit I am a highly sensitive person so I struggle with this area.... Since leaving my last job I don't find myself surrounded by negative people as often, and specifically people, who for some reason or another, seemed to heavily dislike me as often, I recall being too wrapped up in my confusion for the bullying to handle it in a way that didn't impact my work and even just my personal life. It was only 3 or 4 people but it rocked my world and I have tried to educate myself on tactics to better handle this kind of experience in the future. Not sure if you are familiar with the bullying that exists in the field iof nursing but it's brutal. I really appreciate your comment and I think it takes a very strong person to be totally impervious to negative people.... It's almost robotoc to be completely shut off to feeling hurt and as I do not want to become completley desensitized, I absolutely want to find a way to buffer these situations enough to not leave my 12 hour shift in tears lol
Don’t concentrate on what other people think of you. Walk upright, be kind and considerate, and always do what’s decent and compassionate. Keep spreading good vibrations in the world. The fact is that most people either dislike you and/or are envious of your accomplishments, no matter what. That’s just the nature of the beast. Live the spiritual rewards of your own good reality.
1. They joke about your flaws 2. They say compliments that sting like insults 3. They subtly exclude you from plans 4, They're busy only when it comes to you 5. They avoid physical contact like the plague 6. They disappear when you need support 7. They gossip about you behind your back Thank you! Great video and good advice!
all 7 of those sound like my ex-boyfriend. And the few false "mates" I used to have. Now I got rid of them all. Its better being alone, than with a load of fake vipers.
It's a gentle but powerful reminder that priorities reveal themselves in action, not just in words. When someone truly cares, they make the time, no matter how full their life may seem. It speaks to the heart of human connection-that where love, respect, or importance reside, effort naturally follows. Your comment invites us to reflect on what we invest our time and energy in, and what that truly says about our values. In your experience, how do you differentiate between someone who is genuinely busy and someone who may not prioritize you?
@@stoickingdomoffical the answer is simple, they let you know and they keep their word so if they say they cannot reply now but will do so later, they will do so but if they just keep saying over and over they can’t and they response time is consistently irregular and answers never answered or answered with 3 words or after longer time as if it was some unpleasant duty that have been postponing without any level of genuine reciprocity or curiosity to engage deeper in the interaction and develop it or ask about you, then the consistent patterns in action become the answer.
@@stoickingdomoffical consistent unreliability and vagueness, misalignment between words and actions, natural/ unconscious or deliberate proclivity towards interaction and conversation killers than enhancers, a lack of genuine enthusiasm in your presence or over the interaction with you. I think it’s simple and obvious, once you start using the hardcore metrics to measure the tangible and real things instead of filling the gaps with the fantasy or imagination in your mind.
@@jazz_and_tea Your insight is both razor-sharp and deeply introspective, highlighting the subtle, yet profound disconnects we often encounter in human interactions. The way you’ve described the misalignment between words and actions, and the energy one exudes, speaks to a keen awareness of how authenticity-or the lack thereof-shapes our relationships. It’s refreshing to see someone advocating for a grounded, clear-eyed approach to understanding others, free from the fog of wishful thinking or personal projections. Your perspective feels like a wake-up call to those who might still be caught in the illusion of what they want people to be, rather than accepting who they truly are. We hope to hear your intellectual contributions to our videos in the future!
Another issue is when a spouse says "They love you" but, they disrespect you and your children by saying rude things and then they say afterwards "I'm not trying to be rude but..." and then they go on to insult you or your children. Not only is that not love, it is deceitful and manipulative.
i saw a statistic today that said that something like 30% of people (especially men if i remember correctly) under 30 did not have a single close friend... thats uo from just 3% a few years ago they said
True friends are the ones you can call in the middle of the night and they don't ask questions. They help when needed. And some that come over for no reason at all, just to have a good conversation and a drink.
I don't have any friends because I have a low threshold for fake friends. I KNOW the difference. My partner was my best friend and love and the only genuine friend I had. He was the most honest, selfless, gentle, kind, loving and considerate human being I was blessed to have met and had in my life for 27 years. I wasn't aware of how self-centred, selfish, inconsiderate and disingenuous most people are, until he passed away 7 years ago. At 71, I am struggling to make friends because my friendship has been taken for granted and my trust abused, over and over again.
That is sad. I am older than you. Yes some people are selfish, Narcissistic, not friend material. Not all people are like that. To have a friend, be a friend to them as well. Took health difficulties, cancer for me to learn to be empathetic to others. I have true friends, very few. I have always been a loner with my own interests. Now I can be a friend.
@@karyannfontaine8757 Thank you for your comments. I know a lot of people and open to friendships. I’m just more careful now about whom I CHOOSE to call a friend. Not many people really know what it means to be a friend. Sorry to hear of your circumstances. I hope you’re on the mend now and in a better place.
My best friend is 84 and we share so much whilst am on my 40’s! She is the best thing that happened to my life! We share books ideas recipe and I get so much of wisdom that no young friends would give me. Am so blessed and am worried for myself the day she will be gone ! I thank God for her and hope/pray she can receive Christ as her Saviour. She is agnostic and am Christian but we love each other !
I have always taken this stand: If someone/people don't include you in their activies or share information with you, then it's "their loss." Don't give it another thought. Get on with your life. They aren't worth it.
I tried to explain that _"too busy"_ excuse means *disinterested* to a friend in their 70s. I was surprised that he never considered that before. In my opinion, if it takes more than a few days to schedule a 2nd date, then they are not interested, or not interested *_enough._*
@@MaryGwenDungan If you are a chronic "caregiver" collecting the walking wounded as "friends," when you go down they will not come to pick you up. They are not able. Stop being a "caregiver" and begin to chose friends who are as strong, or as independent, or sovereign as you are. These ones will come if you falter. Good relationships are only possible between equals!
@@alexiswaller3065 I never told my (formerly) closest friend, or at least the person I knew the longest that I had cancer until it was all but over. She said something like, sick people are so needy. End of a 40 year+ "friendship."
I am 73 years old, and life is so short. A deliberate message is delivered without a word. They know you will understand. Their goal is to get you to say something that makes you look like the problem.
The older I get, the more I recognize that people also need space and quiet. People can expect too much from each other. The demands for time and energy can be as troublesome as avoidance. Check your expectations
People need to be happy within themselves before they can have mature relationships; romantic or platonic. I am of the opinion people in general have misappropriated expectations of others. Selfishness is not living as one wants but wanting others to live as you want. Ralph Waldo Emmerson
@ insult: when someone insults my intelligence... I am of the ilk that will insult you with no ambiguity. So now the talking part is over. Are you a man or not
That is true and this video is great for picking up on that... However, and I say this loud and clear for all to hear putting myself in the line of fire: Is it REALLY a stoic approach to confront them and "not go down without a fight?" because to me that actually sounds pathetic and not stoic, and I do not see any "deeper wisdom" in the line "To show them you will go down without a fight" a stoic's place is to alter his perception of said outcome, not whine about not being appreciated focused on showing people how "awesome" you are (Which indeed sounds like someone that people would "forget" to invite all the time on it's own) Am I wrong? And if I am, then I admit without guilt nor shame for my actions that I am here to learn, that said I cannot help but cringe at a stoic "fighting for his inclusion from people that clearly don't want him there" deeper wisdom? PAH!
You have to understand though that these kind of people like it when you react to their BS, its part of their game. Ignoring or not acknowledging them is very powerful.
I’m nearly 70. I’ve had friends that were in my life for awhile & then were gone due to life experiences. I’ve had a couple disingenuous friends that were competitive, and narcissistic. One that was downright evil. You might say I’m a happy, friendly kind of person, but I am very cautious, now. Been burnt too many times. I’d rather have no friends than bad friends.
@@valeriebecker5108 l disagree. Miss even some who really disappointed me . Loneliness is hard to deal with when you are old and not well and attractive anymore.
Yes. As in, if they do not congratulate you on your successes/achievements, do not compliment you at all, do not say kind things to you, etc. Hope that helps!
@@BAsed_AFroi agree actions speak louder than words. Many abuser say they love you. But there is no love in abuse or neglect. With no words about hate or distain the controlling behavior tells you how they really feel. ALSO Body language speaks volumes. Glares, not making eye contact, closed fist, sitting legs crossed and arms folded and one leg is constantly kicking in your direction doesn’t mean i love you and im happy with you. Not showing up always showing up late are wordless ways of saying i don’t really care about you and I don’t respect your time or feelings. In fact most people tell you how they feel and think about you with nonverbal behaviors more than they do with words. I was always taught to be careful and mindful of what folks are not saying to you.
@@dwandascott3947 Too bad folks can't just be honest, you know? If someone was acting like that with me, but doesn't speak their true mind as to how they really feel... then I would just leave that on them to figure out a way to communicate how they feel verbally instead of trying to figure out what's up based on trying to guess what they're body language is saying. I don't play the "guess how I feel/what I think of you?" game myself, and nor do I accept it when another person does. A person is only as good as their word is, imo. Abuse on the other hand, is a different story and won't be tolerated.
I once had a friend who seemed distant despite our regular interactions. I couldn't figure out why she was cold and unresponsive, always masking her true feelings with forced politeness. It took me a while to realize that her subtle avoidance and lack of enthusiasm were signs she was hiding her dislike.
I lost my job; truly the lowest point, and I mean lowest point in my entire life. I found out quickly how shallow my so called friends were. Years later, they reached out to me, not for caring about me but I guess more for curiosity. I never responded . I never knew how good of a person I was until I saw the shallowness of humans. I never looked back !
I'm going through that now. Nobody in sight. Always remember your worth. I believe people come into our lives for 2 reasons. Either a blessing or a lesson
I’m going through same thing exactly now. The most “righteous” people haven’t reached out at all. All talk. But a couple of coworkers have and that’s been lovely. It’s easy to spot the small people now.
@@harryscarry6064 Yes. Such times helps us find people who act for no other reason than desire to help us. That might be because of what we "do" for them or it might be because they gain reward for being loyal but so what? They are a friend in the now. Taoism teaches us that all things are impermanent so that may change.
For whoever reads this, I wish you a life filled with peace, joy, and endless light. May you find the strength to walk your path with grace, and may God's guidance lead you to abundance and true fulfillment.
#1: My sister pulled this "I'm just kidding" on me and I confronted her right away. She hasn't done it since. I told her that if she had something to say about me, just come out and say it. Don't make a phony joke about it. #2: My mother called these "backhanded compliments."
Why would anyone want to be part of a group that dislikes you? Why subject oneself to back handed complements, dismissals, hidden hostility and disrespect?
Working in an open place office with 16 of the same nationality, mostly men, in a country other than your own, puts you in a position of sort of accepting such treatment, not that you want to be their friends, but in such a small group, and being with them 9 hours per day, 6.5 days per week does not give you much of a choice. Especially if the job market is dead.
some are raised in a home where they are set up to behave like that.. even the worst stalkers are not born that way, stupid abusive people raise their kids like that.
This is the Human Condition. The need for companionship has risks. Narcissistic behavior comes to the surface. Use or be used. Your truest friends will never play these petty cards on you. Their loss is your gain. You have to understand that not every persons going to like you.
This is why I am super ok and happy with having NO FRIEND'S. People are so fake anymore and it's always "what's in it for me" and I've had the types of "friends" he's talking about in this video. My life is much more peaceful with no one else in it. I only have my kids and my husband.
The older I get the less I like the people I've known for years.I did the ultimate ghosting by moving and changing my phone number. I'm much happier now.
This dude I know used to work with would often make little digs, with a big smile as if he was "just joking". For awhile, I just brushed or laughed it off. Until after I start reading Hackspirit. That's when I realized his true intention. At first, I felt a little hurt, followed by anger. But, I decided I'd respond differently the next time. Well, sure enough, the next time, I arrived at work and hadn't been there to but 10 minutes and he cracked one of his stupid sneaky comments. I stopped dead in my tracks (and this is where silence can outweigh the power of words by a landslide). I put down my things, stood there and I just GLARED at him. His reaction was priceless. Think deer-in-headlights glaze. He then mumbled 'gee I was only joking'. After a few seconds of uncomfortable silence, I calmly said ya know, the first couple of times your little digs at my mistakes, character flaws and what not were kind of amusing so I went along with it. The first couple of times it was mildly amusing. Certainly, you fan Imagine just how much impact they've lost since then. Look at my face, does it look like I'm laughing? In fact, your humor ALMOST as funny as a truck load of empty care packages. But not quite. Keep on practicing and I'm sure you'll get there someday. Just don't practice on me. Start with yourself. I'm sure you'll be more successful. That shut him up big time. He's barely spoken to me since and when he has, he's been sickeningly polite. So much so my communication with him is as minimal as possible. I don't hesitate to call people out on that crap now. It's like they dont even have the balls to discuss whatever concerns they might have. Yet another brick in the wall about how many shitty, self centered people there are in the world. Yet another solid reason why I like my cat more than I like people
"Befriend only people who want the best for you" - Jordan Peterson, from the two 12 Rules For Life books. I'm 60 now and cannot make any lasting, meaningful friendships and I've been single for twenty years. Luckily I enjoy being alone, reading books, walking in the park, playing the piano, listening to music, doing some artwork. I do a little volunteering and belong to a couple of groups relating to my creative interests, but this doesn't lead to any real friendships. People are wrapped up in their own lives and they cannot handle single, creative women like me, they cannot pigeonhole us and that seems to trouble them. There's an ex friend of mine who was often hinting that she would invite me for a weekend break at one of her husband's holiday lets, but it was all just empty promises. She'd also text me to propose a day out or something of that nature, but would often cancel at the last minute. Another ex friend - we worked together and even played on a sports team together - even made a series of hoax phone calls to my mother !
I'm the same im happybto be on my own I don't want be invited to every birthday down the pub or party there are lots of people wh😢i used to be close to but haven't spoken to in years it doesn't bother me big we'd really been that closed we would never had lost touch i don't alwaysvexpect people to be there when I have problems life is difficult forv😅every living thing your friends have their their own problems that could be greater than yours but just don't want to lumber others with their problems.not every one believes that a problem shared is a problem halved.if I'm worried about something and share it with someone else now there worried about it the problem is doubled not halved. We are responsible for our own lives not anyone else's and nobody else is responsible for ours it's called growing up
I'm also in my 60s and have chosen to stay single for the past 15 years. I stay busy with all the same activities that you listed. I'm no longer dependent on anyone for my happiness and grateful to have acquired such a comfortable state of being. I just wish I could've gained this wisdom earlier in life. I'm still open to joining with like-minded individuals and would love to develop a thriving community.
@@aprilkitten Well said. Yes, I wish I could have had such wisdom earlier in life and not spent the years from 18 to 50 searching for the mythical knight in shining armour.
I’ve experienced all of these from so called friends and even family members. Now I cannot trust anyone so I have to revert back to my childhood, keep it all to myself and not share anything with anyone!
, I, have been, used to, long,, I, believe in God and jessus christ I, have been trying hard to, help people, I love helping people, yet I always pray for peace and happiness and love,, I, thank you for the, video, I am, happy, on my own, I love my dear lord I know that God, loves me,,, yes, I, get let down, but I pray for my dear God and jessus christ to help me, and he, does yes, you are so, right,,, people,,, can, hurt, us,, I,have been, fool, but I am not going to be,, unhappy, with the the, life,, I, may have, left,,, God loves us, so, peace and happiness and joy to us all amen 🙏
I learned at a young age not to care if someone likes me or not. I don't want to be around anyone who tries to B.S. me. Those who really care and want to get to know are true friends through the good and bad things.
This video really hit home. It’s so easy to overlook subtle signs of disrespect because we don’t want to seem overly sensitive. I’ve definitely been in situations where 'jokes' were just veiled insults. It’s empowering to recognize the need for boundaries to protect your self-respect!
I am not confronting anyone who talks behind my back because that is where they belong... Behind my back
Get thee Satan behind me ...
😂😂
Get thee behind me satan
❤ very good 👍 I am, too. And I'm happy to do that 😅
I love this❤
This is why I prefer the intelligence, loyalty and honesty of animals.
Amen.
I have a cat she is black and white and white. Honestly, one day I looked at her and asked "do you know that you look like a cop car?" She stuck her tongue out at me ROFLMAO I had my phone I have a picture of her doing that.
When someone 8@@augustusgarton58
when someone puts you down they only think that they look better if they put you down 😊
@@augustusgarton58 if we trust each other man it's man date political life a poinsettia sets a point a wellness Christmas the gift is your name 😊😊😊😊😊
I will never force fake friends to invite me to their events. I will just disappear out of their lives. That's called SELF RESPECT.
@@dontme4132 I salute your self esteem.
@@NormanDubowitz thanks!
I think it’s worth asking if you truly believe them to be a friend. I have done that and learned a lot about myself, including how to be a better friend. If they beat around the bush & are not honest it’s time to let that friendship go or reframe it as a different type of friendship (maybe just someone to hang with when you’re bored - that doesn’t make you a user if they’re the ones who made that choice). On the other hand, a real friend will give you some reason. Sometimes it’s that you have been so busy & turned down so many invitations that they gave up, at least for short notice events. Sometimes it’s that they simply had the wrong number for you. I had specifically stated that I was done with men at one point then when I asked why my single girlfriends didn’t invite me out dancing, their response made me realize that their motivation for going dancing was mainly to meet men & if I wasn’t doing the same thing & expected them to stay with me all night, that would have defeated the purpose. I actually would have been fine either sitting alone people watching while they danced or striking up a conversation with a stranger but I had to explain that so they knew I wouldn’t be hurt when they went onto to dance floor or off to a quiet room with a man.
I do the same, I disappear. You have to be comfortable with yourself and love your own company, I rather read alone than being with fake people.
You are blessed for it. Be your wonderful self.
The more I am around people, the more I love animals. There love is genuine!
It happened to me as well.
True talk ❤
That is sad but there is truth because I have seen people behave badly when they shouldn't.
❤❤❤ animals give you unconditional love
I agree with your message. lol Yes, my Dog 🐕 is righteous until death do we part .❤❤❤❤❤❤❤Righteous message 😄 🙏 🙏 🙏
When your gut tells you someone doesn't like you or are not good for you, NEVER ignore that.
I got that about my housemate
I like to say, follow your gut. It’ll give you the straight sh’t
She's generally harmless just turned out to be irritating and played radio I list a stone and ended around 5. Eventually gained it back. I did get approved for transfer.
And, pets that are rescued are even more grateful.
@@endtimeservant8531 so so true plays out when you are listening to the right spirit! 😇🩵🐾🩵
Never go looking for people who aren’t looking for you!!
Wow! I think l will tattoo your statement to my forehead...😵💫😐
@@Susannah472 IKR? 😵💫👀
Screw fake friends..
I'm starting to realize a similar one( maybe mean) don't worry about other people's health if they don't care about yours. JMO
@@Belevaqua Amen and Amen 🕊 ✝️🕊👍🏻
As I get older, I realize something... I really value quality over quantity when it comes to people. Anyone else feel the same way?
I do and have lived happier since i left behind those kinds of people.
OH YES!
Couldn’t have put it any better myself.
Oh yes
Yep. When I was around 50 years old I made a decision to get the toxic people out of my life. These also included family members. I was in my so called golden years. I didn't want to play mind games anymore. I didn't want the drama in my life anymore. I only wanted to surround myself with positive pleasant people. Life is too short and I want to enjoy my last years on this earth.
True friends are kind and respectful. Walk away from anyone who is disrespectful.
💯
Absolutely ❗️
Damn that’s my entire family!!
@@sharkman5735sorry to read it, I empathize strongly!😞
Truth
I’m 62 years old and now I prefer if people don’t care for me. They don’t pay my bills and I’m doing just fine without out them in my life. Don’t sweat it and consider it a blessing.
I totally agree with you! However, if it is a daughter you love dearly it's. a different matter and it hurts like hell.
@@maureenrhysjones4643 l feel your pain, Maureen
Wow, I felt every word of this video! The way you described back-handed compliments and social exclusion hit home. It's so true that we often overlook these signs to avoid discomfort 😔 How do you handle these situations now???
Ha! I like that. That's the way to go. Minding your own damn business. Am equally 62 and doing the same. Living my own life and loving it.
. Yes. I acquired a Severe Concussion. In 2012. My emotions were very wimpy I cried alot. I started to think about. Some friends that WERE NOT THERE FOR ME... A LITTLE CALL NOW AND AGAIN. BUT I BEGAN TO REALIZE I HAD GONE 100X FARTHER FOR A FEW FRIENDS. I FOUND MY *EMOTIONAL BANK ACCT WAS BANKRUPT* I DID NOT RECEIVE MUCH ATTENTION IN MY TIME IF NEED. AND I FELT BETRAYED THAT I WAS NOT USEFUL TO THEM SO I DIDNT COUNT ANY LONGER. I WAS USED BY THESE FRIENDS FOR YRS SO I DECIDED I WAS GOING TO CLEAN UP MY FRIENDS LIST!! I WAS READY TO ACCEPT THAT I WAS NOT ANY VALUE TO THESE FRIENDS. SO I JUST DISAPPEARED. I WAS SAD ABOUT LOOSING CONTACT WITH MY GOD CHILDREN. BUT THEY R ADULTS NOW AND HAVE THEIR OWN LIVES. I AM HAPPY THAT I WAS A VERY GOOD GODMOTHER TO THOSE KIDS FROM BABIES TO GRADUATION AND ONE TO AGE 21. I HAD TO CUT OFF A 10 UR FRIENDSHIP. WHILE ON VACATION IN MIDDLE EAST. BECAUSE MY FRIEND DISRESPECTED ME SO BADLY. 2 OTHER FRIENDS JOINED THIS GROUP ALSO. I STILL CANT BELIEVE THESE 3 WERE SO TERRIBLE FOR 20DAYS OF TRIP AND THEN TRIED TO MAKE UP TO ME. BUT. I WAS NOT READY TO FORGIVE THEM FOR A VERY LONG TIME. I AM AT PEACE WITH ALL MY DECISIONS OF LETTING FRIENDS GO. FROM 2011....2015 == 6 PPL.
I LEARNED THAT I SHOULD HAVE HAD HIGHER EXPECTATIONS CONCERNING RESPECT, LYING AND TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME. BUT I LIKED CERTAIN EVENTS WITH THESE PPL SO I ACCEPTED THEM AND THEIR FRIENDSHIP WITH ME IN A LIVING KINDNESS WAY. IVE GROWN TO EVALUATE PPL ALOT MORE CAREFULLY. AND JUST NOT GET TOO CLOSE!!
Leave quietly. Don’t explain why they have hurt you. They don’t deserve to know your heart anymore!
I left quietly recently but this video is saying to confront them and now I realize that's what I should have done. Because I left quietly, my situation feels like it needs closure.
@@eb9520. Good point. I did the same but after continuing research about the toxic family dynamics I found out my family was described as an AMBIENT COVERT type. Everything was IMPLICIT not explicit. This type is the worst & diabolical so nothing works with these covert malignant narcissist types. I had to just let it all go. It is frustrating though so I understand where ur coming from. Bless us all in these times with such evil people. One of my brothers raged against me one time and said I ruined our family by exposing a secret in the family which I had an obligation to do. He insulted and raged so hard that I thought he wanted me murdered. It triggered & traumatized me at the time but for some reason I stayed low keyed and calm but knew he was a danger to me and it convinced me that there is serious mental illness in my family of origin. I just had to take care of myself and continued on with my own recovery process. With continued prayer to God my spiritual Father I’ve been able to do what I’ve been doing. God bless you EB.
That’s the advice my mom gave me many moons ago, and it’s the way I have always handled things. If they’re not smart enough to figure out what they did, they won’t get it if I try to explain.
Amen 💙🙏💙
@@eb9520 The video is objectively wrong for one reason alone: The perspective has nothing to do with stoicism, stoicism is about altering your perspective and knowing that you changing it will lead you forwards, not some "deeper wisdom" in "letting others know that you will fight for their attention"
I unsubscribed the moment I heard that, be careful of what you consider "stoic"
People become your friend because you have something that they want. Some just want to use you as a stepping stone. Be careful.
bingo! they begrudge something you have..and they do not.
*SUBMIT TO GOD*
From whence _come_ wars and fightings among you? _come they_ not hence, _even_ of your lust that war in your members?
King James Version -James 4:1
Do you know where your fights and arguments come from? They come from the selfish desires that make war inside you.
Easy to Read Version -James 4:1
hi. true i know. me its to introduce them to top professionals, that i know...and to use me, for my money...
What if they really want to be your true friend ?
@@notw1015
...In English Please.
My motto is - I’d rather have no company than bad company.
❤
I agree! I love your motto. My dog is perfect company for me. My kids, grandson and husband are wonderful too. ❤
Keep the circle small.
Most people are terrible. Friends & family are overrated.
Agree
Booooommm!
THANK YOU INFINITY!
Don't let anyone walk on you. You deserve better.
😅
Don't ever explain your self , just walk away
Why? Where you are physically standing shouldn’t make any difference. If you actually are stoic you wouldn’t care. You’d stay wherever you are because that’s where you wanted to be or needed to be to begin with. Their proximity would be irrelevant.
Yeah because ghosting someone is the proper way to handle it.....
💯
lift weights, punch nose
@@randypayne141 why continue to put any amount of energy or (the most valuable thing any of us will ever have) TIME to them? makes no sense. each second that is passed you die and a new you are formed. through experience and age your not who you where and cant get that back. In 1 second from now you could experience the worst thing you will have to in this life and never be able to deal with it. and will be a very different person. you might suddenly no longer be able to move your body at all. do you want to use those last seconds basically reviewing what someone else did wrong to you? or doing something you want to be doing by your choice without influence from them.
I've finally found the solution to all these problems. I have no friends at all anymore and somehow, my problems all miraculously disappeared.
These people are narcissists and toxic. It's better to stay away from them.
Pets are great company❤❤
Yeah right! Stop trying to scam people!
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I’m on my way
I’m 71 here just adding the fact that the sooner you accept you are on your own the happier you’ll be. People will tell you anything and mean nothing.
@@alleycat9369 👍
Same age, same problem.
I’ve come to that conclusion recently and I feel good and more free with that truth moving forward.
TRUTH!
Hugs. If they don't hug you back, watch it.
My 8 year old granddaughter said she's nice to everybody but she doesn't play with everybody. Out of the mouths of Babes comes great wisdom 🤔❤❤❤❤
So true
Wow, children are a blessing and they say the most profound things. I couldn't have put it better.
Spot on ❤
Smart little girl you have right there❤
Good words from that child
Thanks to that child 💐🌺🙏✍💌
I would rather stand alone than be liked and accepted in a den of vipers
Story of my life
A true stoic wouldn’t care.
Pets are great company❤❤
@chelseacraft4669 your knives are showing...
Yeaaaah🎉
Let’s be real most people only like or tolerate you if you are helping them or doing something that they want.
Found this out & it made me free.
Whats wrong with helping lv made so many friends helping ppl
@@BrendaSmith-ej2jy absolutely nothing wrong with helping. do help. and then think nothing of it. there will not be reciprocation and if that played in any way to your motivation than your motivation was just as flawed as their response to your help.
Yep
Should be included family members 😮
Whoever reading this may you have a happy, healthy and positive mind.
And you as well dear. Ty.
Your goal should be to not care whether people like you or not. Just make sure you like yourself.
Facts
I like that and it's great advice!
I would add to keep living a decent life, to respect and care for others and yourself.
You have to heal, care & love yourself b/f you can handle/a good relationship!
spot on
The worst kind is when they actually lie about you.
Especially when you've gone no contact with them for an extended period.
Especially when you helped them, and they told everyone you didn't.
@@stephanies6770this hit home
@@stephanies6770
You are right on target
The narcists are evel 👿
That is the worst when they do that behind your back. That is why I do not pay attention to what someone says about another person. Hate gossip.
I'm 82 y.o. and find myself really alone. My last long-term friend died last year. I have experienced all of these people and have not actually missed them. I prefer my critters because they are honest. I have concluded that I am not particularly likeable and I'm not willing to go phony just to have someone to play with. Actually, I am quite content with my life.😅🎉❤😅🎉❤
@QuotesOfTheDay_Officials thank you. I am at an age that honesty is basically mandatory.😃
@@Susannah472
Thank you. I consider myself fortunate to be able to remember the lessons along the way. Too bad elderly folks become invisible to the young. We could save them a lot of heartbreak! Bless you
Sending hugs to a perfectly likeable person. 🎉💛
@@LillisOldStyleLollis Thank you. What a nice thing to say!
@@Susannah472 What a lovely thing to say. Thank you!
It’s hard to find people who are excited to see me but my dog, he’s excited when he sees me every time and that means everything to me ❤
Same! I have God and my dogs. Animals are better than humans.
That pure, unfiltered excitement from your dog speaks volumes about the unconditional love that’s so rare to find elsewhere. It’s incredible how animals can teach us what genuine connection feels like-no expectations, no pretenses, just pure happiness in the presence of the ones they love. The way your dog greets you with such joy every time is a reminder of the simple yet profound relationships that enrich our lives in ways we often take for granted.
Have you ever noticed how that kind of pure connection can teach us about what truly matters in our human relationships as well?
@@stoickingdomoffical absolutely have noticed. And have you ever noticed that dog lovers are usually kinder to their own kind as well?🩵🐾🩵🫣 ...because they have learned something more about love from their dogs.
Amen to that true❤😊
@stoickingdomofficayesl
Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option
I like that.
Exactly ❗️
it's sad when parents are the ones who knock you down and belittle you since childhood.
It was possibly how they were raised. We can recognize the behavior and break the chain. Good wishes from one who's been there too..
Learn from it. Don't repeat it. Don't hang on to it. It's really not yours. Free yourself ❤
Ya right
That’s hard all around.
And siblings
"Don't tell me what they say about me; tell me why they were comfortable saying it around you".........
Wow that is very insightful. Thank you I have felt this before but did not how to articulate it. But my instincts were telling me something was wrong with this picture
Wow this says a lot more then it appears (Deep) very true very clever indeed thank you for sharing ❤❤
Indeed!!!
Cluster B personality disordered individuals (Narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths) Their entire existance revolves around hurting people!
Fabolous - "Young O.G". Intro
People who truly respect and appreciate you will never make you question your worth like that.
Wonderful quote from the late Dr. Wayne Dyer: "What you think of me is none of my business."
The problem is the people that say that don't believe that statement
What another thinks of me isn't a problem unless they speak their negative thoughts to others. Then it's slander and it becomes my business.
Power back in prayer. Tell-A-Vision. The keys.
When the Bible was being edited by the Pharisee and Sanhedrin, (who later took the titles Pope and the council of Cardinals) They deliberately broke the Lord's prayer when they instituted the translation in the Latin. They did, infact, turn our Father Creator into a fetch-/-vending machine. Thereby, leaving every part of it up to him. Hallow your own name, do your own will, restore your kingdom yourself. (Think about it.) What of this includes you? None of it includes you. Other than you being a sit on the couch recipient of his deeds, of course. Originally, Jesus had said it in the Greek. And here it is.
Our Father who art in heaven.
Thy name must be being Hallowed. (That means, you Hallow it.)
They Will must be being done on earth as it is in heaven. (Guess who's on earth? You are. It's up to you to do his Will here.)
Thy kingdom must be being restored. (Yeah, that's you again. And for the individual, it doesn't mean unto the whole world, it is generational. Lovingly, slowly, repetitively, patiently tell your children. Ten years, that's how long it takes to put it in their hearts. Remember, do not turn it into a weapon. Your neck, the mill stone and the sea.)
Give us today, our tomorrow's bread. (The wisdom of Jesus, as though we stood beside him in the present tense.)
Forgive us our failings as we forgive those who have hurt us. (Now, what I am writing here will make a lot more sense once you have read, keys to the Kingdom. If you have truly reconciled them unto your heart and forgiven them to the full measure, is this not the first time that this has come out of your mouth in all it's intended honesty? I'm betting it is.)
Lead us away from evil, delivering us from its temptation as these are not that which you intended. (This may differ as I could not find the translation for accuracy.)
Bottom line here is that you are a required part of the power pack.
He goes before us and prepares the way. Is
Simply this. You want or need a better position and pay. So, you pray unto the Father and he, because the Father is a mind, he is mentality, (the kybalion will explain this perfectly.) He reaches forth in thought, whispering to the hearts and minds of those who will assist you, to give you that which you have asked for. (In belief. Ask, believe and receive.)This requires you to do your part, go to work.
Recognize that the Father wants a personal relationship with you, and he desires that you want one with him. That means, you have your part in this. Do your part. Now, remembering that our Father is a mind, he, when communicating with the prophets did this in visions. So, when you pray to the Father remember, the words are for you to build a vision with. In essence, Tell-A-Vision to the Father. Let him see it in your mind. Be clear, get precise, aim for accuracy.
Now, in order for prayer to work, the the Father said, if you have anything against your brother go make peace, really. And you know as well as anyone, in this day and anger age, it's often unwise to do so, in person, that is. Follow the instructions below.
The Keys to the Kingdom
When one understands reconciliation to its fullest meaning, one understands forgiveness. Without reconciliation, forgiveness cannot stand. Reconciliation kills, on impact, all negative emotion. All of it, from your first breath, unto your last. The only emotion that reconciliation cannot defend itself against, is that of love. Love is energy, your soul is energy. So, if the adage, you are what you eat, is true, then the only thing feeding your soul is love and your soul will mature properly and become love in of itself, as we have been commanded, to become like our Father. Who, in of himself, is love. Vengeance is mine, said the Lord, because when you give him vengeance, he turns it into correction and saves his other child, if they will let him. Imagine how you are going to feel towards your enemy in heaven. If you can really imagine the truest form of that feeling, congratulations, those feelings have just transcended time and space. In essence, you asked, asked to see, that's prayer, you believed what you saw, you received it, you felt it. Again, congratulations, you just asked, believed and received. The Father creator loved us, reconciled us unto himself and forgave us. The steps matter. Unless reconciliation is first, forgiveness falls flat on it's face and dies. Forsake the parade. Go unto the Father yourself and take the walk of life with your hand in his. And consider this, with our Father, I truly believe it's, come as you are and I will change you as I need you. Start your commitment to him with these words if they suit you. Finish the statements. Here I am. I am willing. What is the truth? And you had better be sincere or it's going to fail.
(Anger. Let us deal with this for a moment. If you are angry about something that happened three weeks ago, it's because, you have a muscle in your stomach, you know the one, that is a chemical junkie. This muscle was present when that particular memory was created and stored. And it calls out that chemical signature, and forces you to re-live that moment, so it can feed, you have not been angry in a long time, you been duped. And now that you know, what are you going to do, fake angry? As soon as you begin to feel angry about anything from the past, stop it. Just take a look around you, and know nothing happened to you today, unless it actually did. And if it did, that's the only thing you can be truly angry about.)
(Do not invite the back stabber to your table, here. What they did matters, they, given the opportunity, will do it again. You have a date in heaven, see them there. Old people bring old habits.)
(Live in reconciliation. Do not leave that state of being.)
(Live in believe, of ask, believe and receive. This would have been better stated as, ask believe and be given. Recieving means to be given, therefore, it's not up to you to move beyond, believe. That's the Father's right and it also allows for recognition of his works and compassion. Also, Throw away the timer.)
(Regarding Faith. Faith is simply loyalty. Loyalty to the fact that you asked, loyalty to the fact that you believed. Stay loyal, stay faithful. Or one might choose to see Faith from the vantage point of, staying true.)
(As for the judgement room that we have all heard of, well, it may surprise you to learn that that room is in your head, and it's running constantly. We all have a piece of the Christ Consciousness in our minds. All of us. This is how silent prayer is heard. And anytime you do anything good or bad, your heart has an intention and emotional reaction. That intention and emotional reaction is what's being judged. And your judgement is handed down second to last breath. Because up until then you can change your mind about your intention to our Father. You can come to understand this better if you read the letters on the internet from nurses who have been presant for the death of those patients they have been charged to take care of. Worst death bed passings, you'll find them. And you will find good one's as well. This is why your sincerity in your commitment to the Father and to honesty with him are so very important.)
(Do not end your prayers with, Amen. To you, this has always meant the prayer has ended. And in that, your right. It's over. End your prayers with, So Be It. This way the energy moves into the future. And it's the translation of, Amen, but in words that, as you understand, have a whole different meaning.)
(Do not judge lest you be judged with the same measure. Meaning, when we judge we will be put in the same situation, doing the same thing that we were judging others for. Break all judgements through sincere intention. After all, people and situations change. So, let it be to you as this, "They are still alive." No further, for the Father has got this.)
(Anxiety/Stagnation is common place with our Father. He gives us time for what he is teaching us to take it's place in our lives and become a living part of who we are before adding more of his wisdom to our mindset. If it were not so with man, what we learned would become buried under the new knowledge and become worthless.)
@RaymondBastien-li6co
wow thank you for teaching me! how did I find this message in such a random place? you wrote about things I’ve wanted to find lately, but wasn’t looking for. I believe in Jesus as my king and friend and I’m rly interested in prayer and how spirits operate in combination with the goings on of earth. there’s something I’ve been wondering about, can I ask you? I don’t understand healing, but I trust God. it seems to me that he heals some and not others be his will is done. but why then are we allowed to use his power to heal? when I see someone put their hands on another and say to be healed in the name of Jesus, I know it’s supposed to work because we have authority. but when it doesn’t work, I don’t know why. I tried to heal my rabbit the other day and she didn’t get healed. so I figure I’m missing something here, I’m doing something wrong or it wasn’t God’s will for her to be healed. I don’t know why. I cannot judge God. I just want to know so many things
@@manda00613 to better understand the principles of the power that you are trying to access I recommend the gospel of Thomas and the kybalion. I also recommend trying healing with a statement like, I just love it when you're well. Or I just love it when you're healthy. The emotion of love must be something that you feel in your heart and it must be happy while you are saying it.
The older i get, the less i like people...most people suck
Most ppl suck what..? , what do you mean
You're right. most people suck.
Amen. lol
I say that all the time!
I prefer my pets. I hate people. Don’t ask me to explain it😊
The more you are around people the more you realize it doesn’t matter what people think. Just be you.
I've learned to keep my expectations low and my boundaries strong...
1) 0:46 Mean-spirited jokes
2) 4:50 Back-handed compliments
3) 9:18 Exclusion from plans
4) 13:14 Too busy, only when it comes to you
5) 16:59 Avoiding physical contact with you
6) 21:10 Aren't supportive/present during your crises
7) 24:57 Gossip behind your back
Thanks!
Yeah, that's my ex-friends and ex-family members.
Thank you
Also signs they don't like themselves.
This describes my mother my whole life.
My brother says to expect nothing from friends and you are never disappointed. I think he's right.
You know he is not your brother he has been lying to you the whole time
@@stevecampbell1308That doesn't make sense.
He's right. Expectations are premeditated resentments. Standards and healthy boundaries only.
Yes. From anybody
You’re important and you are deeply cared for.
Your brother is giving you words of wisdom, listen to him, report back and give the internet an update on what else he has to say. It’s okay to be courageous, and encourage others 👉🏼💯✅
If you are being brushed off, keep moving on, away from them.
They're latched leeches when we MOVE on. Blockage. Moveable.
Why would it bother you? Aren’t you a stoic?
@@Ripprock1 perfect
@@chelsea_1961
I don't think that means you shouldn't have good friends or let ppl disrespect you.
I'm 45 years old now.
The moment I turned 25 I made sure No one treats me like crap.
I have extremely sharp facial expressions that show folks I don't play games and they know.
No one has messed with me since. When people make jokes about you; don't laugh, just stare. They'll get the message.
Thanks for reminding me why being alone isn't so bad.
It never was... bad
Pffft
Right I have been mostly with out for many years an im 50 I have come to hate people sad but true I don't even talk to my own mother she has lied about things of me an so some of my siblings not talk to me yet some do as she has done the same to them sick sad but what can you do
@@DawnBarry-r1v I'm sorry that happened to you
True less funerals or fake weddings to attend
These are the qualities of my toxic family. At 62, I have finally gone completely no-contact and I have never felt better. Getting to know my true self is now an amazing journey of a lifetime.
I'm in my sixties and went no contact. Smartest, sanest choice in the circumstances. As you go on, you too will notice more and more freedoms, small and large, more lifting of pressure, more spreading of your wings ❤
Same here....mine are self absorbed, greedy and disrespectful. Family is over-rated. If you have a good family then you are blessed. I took myself to Japan for 15 years and avoided all that nonsense and drama. God bless.
I'm in the process of going no contact as well. It's been a long time coming
@@juliajohnston1680 🙏 Amen To That! 👍
@@louisecampbell2628It’s good and it’s necessary 🌷
I gave up on false friends a few years ago. When I look back now, I was a fool to believe they were ever real. Best decision I ever made.
Usually if someone gives you money they are a true friend. And if they loan you money by all means do whatever you have to do to pay them back as quick as possible. Is only a true friend will loan you money.
I don't think it's foolish . Innocence isn't foolish
@@howard1beale It is by definition. It may be cute, even romantic, but both involve a foolish superficiality.
"They are not TOO busy; they are just too busy for YOU."-- that is a real situation that builds a case for divesting yourself of them all.
My brother betrayed me by weaponizing what I had told him in confidence against me as well. You can imagine the shock, hurt, disappointment and humiliation I felt. I was blindsided.
When I confronted him about his decision to gossip about me and disrespect me he played it down and said I was overreacting.
For me the trust is gone now. Once it’s gone you can never get it back.
Very sad but a learning experience
My brother stole my inheritance by forging my mother's name on a quit claim deed. This is after the $20,000 l gave him to start his own business.
Right now I wouldn’t put anything past my brother. Disrespect is high when love is thin.
@@stephanies6770 Time to move on and disassociate with such individuals who are greedy and did not have your wellbeing at heart! Their true agenda is greed mix with selfishness. Let them go out of your life, let the hurt go and create a good future for yourself without them!!! Achieve, live in peace and happiness! Live as if they don’t exist!!!! You’ll be fine!🎉
Jesus in the bible: a mans enemies will be those of his own household
This is harder when it’s family members who behave this way
You can't choose your family. To my forever regret 😢
Yes its a kicker when it's family, I don't even think they regard us as family !
Wow that is so true
Wow so true
When it’s family it hurts on a whole new level.
'Less People In My World The Happier
I'm Am & Feel!!!!'
Pets are great company
Solitude is also very addicting.
@@ritalawson7020 That's only because they don't speak. If they did we would not like and feed them. The feeding part is what they care about and I find that animals are no closer to Tao than we are. They simply don't attempt to be legendary. Offspring is their only legend.
*It’s hard to find people who are excited to see me, but my dog he’s thrilled every time, and that means everything to me*
using all bold letters seems egotistical to me and is almost as arrogant as using all caps
that says nothing good about you.. just that your dog knows he wil starve without you.
What your dog is really showing you, is that he likes that you feed him.
Same. Humanity has lost the core values. It is sad.
I been asked why I care so much. The answer because I love and know my role if life.
@@VintageJoeStalin and yet there are videos and documentaries about stray dogs saving children who they don't know. dogs evolved with humans and humans have had dogs for over 30,000 years.
The more I get to know about people, the more I like my dogs
Dogs are no life, u need a life. Let the dogs go,get a family
I used to be a people person, but people ruined it. Dogs love unconditionally.👍😉
I hate humans and dogs ❤
I have a T shirt with that written on it😊
@Mscompuncawitz no their are good people.
I have very quietly and thoughtfully accepted that some people don't like me. That's ok with me and there's nothing I need to do to please them.
@@jennyseredych4607 this helps me sooo mych
To embrace the fact that not everyone will like you without feeling the need to bend or compromise is a testament to your self-confidence and wisdom. It's a level of emotional maturity that many aspire to but few truly achieve. You’ve chosen the path of peace, where the need for external validation fades, leaving only the clarity of self-acceptance. It's beautiful, and your calmness in this realization is deeply inspiring.
Was there a specific moment or experience that helped you reach this peaceful understanding?
I dig your confidence! You're impervious to their negative energy
@@Katiekay. The way you describe being "impervious to their negative energy" paints a vivid picture of someone who has mastered their emotions and refuses to let outside forces disturb their peace. It’s such a vital reminder that true strength comes not from controlling others, but from maintaining our own sense of calm and purpose, regardless of the chaos around us.
Thank you for sharing such a thoughtful perspective! Have you ever encountered a situation where someone’s negative energy almost got to you, but your confidence kept you grounded? I'd love to hear how you navigated that moment!
@@stoickingdomoffical I have but I must admit I am a highly sensitive person so I struggle with this area.... Since leaving my last job I don't find myself surrounded by negative people as often, and specifically people, who for some reason or another, seemed to heavily dislike me as often, I recall being too wrapped up in my confusion for the bullying to handle it in a way that didn't impact my work and even just my personal life. It was only 3 or 4 people but it rocked my world and I have tried to educate myself on tactics to better handle this kind of experience in the future. Not sure if you are familiar with the bullying that exists in the field iof nursing but it's brutal. I really appreciate your comment and I think it takes a very strong person to be totally impervious to negative people.... It's almost robotoc to be completely shut off to feeling hurt and as I do not want to become completley desensitized, I absolutely want to find a way to buffer these situations enough to not leave my 12 hour shift in tears lol
Don’t concentrate on what other people think of you. Walk upright, be kind and considerate, and always do what’s decent and compassionate. Keep spreading good vibrations in the world. The fact is that most people either dislike you and/or are envious of your accomplishments, no matter what. That’s just the nature of the beast. Live the spiritual rewards of your own good reality.
Best comment
How do you address the elderly when they can say mean things or worse racist
Compassion is emotion. Stoic is no emotion. Just existing.
Yeah!!!
@@judiththeis4476 It’s on them and their spirits, not on you; unless you let it. Maintain distance from those who drain your good energy.
Sometimes REJECTION Means PROTECTION:)
(🎁their rejection is a BLESSING in disguise💝
True ❗️👍
1. They joke about your flaws
2. They say compliments that sting like insults
3. They subtly exclude you from plans
4, They're busy only when it comes to you
5. They avoid physical contact like the plague
6. They disappear when you need support
7. They gossip about you behind your back
Thank you! Great video and good advice!
Thanks for listing the topics.
all 7 of those sound like my ex-boyfriend. And the few false "mates" I used to have.
Now I got rid of them all. Its better being alone, than with a load of fake vipers.
Just understand and try to have fun with your friends if possible. At the end of the day, life is short and they need B what you need as well
Confirmed
Bless you.
My co-worker gave me an off-handed complement , she said you look kind of cute ! I looked up at her and said I kind of thank you ! 😂
That’s was the perfect comeback !! That was on point 👌
Great answer. She seems like kind of a...
I had a coworker greet me and say good morning little one!😮
😂😂
Good learning here
Thankx 🥴🌺😅
Absolutely nobody is ever too busy for what or who truly matters to them
It's a gentle but powerful reminder that priorities reveal themselves in action, not just in words. When someone truly cares, they make the time, no matter how full their life may seem. It speaks to the heart of human connection-that where love, respect, or importance reside, effort naturally follows. Your comment invites us to reflect on what we invest our time and energy in, and what that truly says about our values.
In your experience, how do you differentiate between someone who is genuinely busy and someone who may not prioritize you?
@@stoickingdomoffical the answer is simple, they let you know and they keep their word so if they say they cannot reply now but will do so later, they will do so but if they just keep saying over and over they can’t and they response time is consistently irregular and answers never answered or answered with 3 words or after longer time as if it was some unpleasant duty that have been postponing without any level of genuine reciprocity or curiosity to engage deeper in the interaction and develop it or ask about you, then the consistent patterns in action become the answer.
@@stoickingdomoffical consistent unreliability and vagueness, misalignment between words and actions, natural/ unconscious or deliberate proclivity towards interaction and conversation killers than enhancers, a lack of genuine enthusiasm in your presence or over the interaction with you. I think it’s simple and obvious, once you start using the hardcore metrics to measure the tangible and real things instead of filling the gaps with the fantasy or imagination in your mind.
Once you start measuring their real performance towards you, you just need to look at the score they achieved and it speaks louder than anything.
@@jazz_and_tea Your insight is both razor-sharp and deeply introspective, highlighting the subtle, yet profound disconnects we often encounter in human interactions. The way you’ve described the misalignment between words and actions, and the energy one exudes, speaks to a keen awareness of how authenticity-or the lack thereof-shapes our relationships. It’s refreshing to see someone advocating for a grounded, clear-eyed approach to understanding others, free from the fog of wishful thinking or personal projections. Your perspective feels like a wake-up call to those who might still be caught in the illusion of what they want people to be, rather than accepting who they truly are.
We hope to hear your intellectual contributions to our videos in the future!
Another issue is when a spouse says "They love you" but, they disrespect you and your children by saying rude things and then they say afterwards "I'm not trying to be rude but..." and then they go on to insult you or your children. Not only is that not love, it is deceitful and manipulative.
Anything you say can & will be used against you!!!!.
Yep + No good deed goes unpunished
Truth
Apologies will be used against you to argue you were in the wrong
"Why would you apologize if you weren't in the wrong?"
Narcissists Miranda Rights
And people wonder why I don't share much about myself anymore. Nothing can be spread if nothing is shared.
I'd rather have no friends than fake ones.
I believe I'm the type of person I'd love to have as a friend. I also like solitude
❤💯
Same here, I'm the kinda of friend that I would like to have. I'm honest, fun, loyal and will never stabb my friend.
I Have zero friends at this time.
i saw a statistic today that said that something like 30% of people (especially men if i remember correctly) under 30 did not have a single close friend... thats uo from just 3% a few years ago they said
same here
TRULY SAD where we must live in a society where you can't truly trust people
You can say that again
Since we have social media now, humanity is worse
Stoics don’t care. They can’t feel “sad”.
It’s no mystery. People are flawed
You just may be hanging with the WRONG people.
True friends are the ones you can call in the middle of the night and they don't ask questions. They help when needed. And some that come over for no reason at all, just to have a good conversation and a drink.
I am true but i must have my sleep and I can't stand those that 'drink'.
I don't have any friends because I have a low threshold for fake friends. I KNOW the difference. My partner was my best friend and love and the only genuine friend I had. He was the most honest, selfless, gentle, kind, loving and considerate human being I was blessed to have met and had in my life for 27 years. I wasn't aware of how self-centred, selfish, inconsiderate and disingenuous most people are, until he passed away 7 years ago. At 71, I am struggling to make friends because my friendship has been taken for granted and my trust abused, over and over again.
That is sad. I am older than you. Yes some people are selfish, Narcissistic, not friend material. Not all people are like that. To have a friend, be a friend to them as well. Took health difficulties, cancer for me to learn to be empathetic to others. I have true friends, very few. I have always been a loner with my own interests. Now I can be a friend.
@@karyannfontaine8757 Thank you for your comments. I know a lot of people and open to friendships. I’m just more careful now about whom I CHOOSE to call a friend. Not many people really know what it means to be a friend.
Sorry to hear of your circumstances. I hope you’re on the mend now and in a better place.
Love you. A way is opening up for you....
My best friend is 84 and we share so much whilst am on my 40’s! She is the best thing that happened to my life! We share books ideas recipe and I get so much of wisdom that no young friends would give me. Am so blessed and am worried for myself the day she will be gone ! I thank God for her and hope/pray she can receive Christ as her Saviour. She is agnostic and am Christian but we love each other !
@@veracity8968 You are so blessed to have her in your life and share so much with her. Just enjoy each other. God will take care of the rest!
I have always taken this stand: If someone/people don't include you in their activies or share information with you, then it's "their loss." Don't give it another thought. Get on with your life. They aren't worth it.
"Too busy" usually translates to "uninterested"
"No contact." Not everything is as it appears. For me it's a way of going soft-no-contact as opposed to going full-no-contact from some persons.
So… they are stoic. It’s funny that others’ stoicism would bother you. 😂
Except when they want to sleep with you. FWB usually.
I tried to explain that _"too busy"_ excuse means *disinterested* to a friend in their 70s. I was surprised that he never considered that before. In my opinion, if it takes more than a few days to schedule a 2nd date, then they are not interested, or not interested *_enough._*
and that is okay, too.
no one owes you anything,
only your parents did, so hold them accountable for your flaws.
I feel so lost. My fiancé left me after 4 years together, and I don’t know how to move forward. I just want him back.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I went through a similar heartbreak, and I know how unbearable it feels.
How did you deal with it? Did you ever get your partner back?
Yes, I did, with the help of a spiritual guide Father Akabu. He has a gift for restoring broken relationships.
Really? Do you think he can help me?
I’m sure he can. He’s helped so many people, including me. You can search for him online he’s very powerful and kind.
I found out who my true friends were when I was going through Cancer.
@@MaryGwenDungan If you are a chronic "caregiver" collecting the walking wounded as "friends," when you go down they will not come to pick you up. They are not able. Stop being a "caregiver" and begin to chose friends who are as strong, or as independent, or sovereign as you are. These ones will come if you falter. Good relationships are only possible between equals!
Ovarian cancer survivor same here people couldn’t understand chemo waylays you
@@alexiswaller3065 I never told my (formerly) closest friend, or at least the person I knew the longest that I had cancer until it was all but over. She said something like, sick people are so needy. End of a 40 year+ "friendship."
same same same
I'm glad you made it through.
Avoid toxic people
...That's almost everyone?😅
Not god! 😊
Yeah even if it’s your family ❤
Avoid every human true facts
Pets are great company
I would never ever ask anyone why they didn't invite me!!!! I wouldn't feel left out, but would feel relieved and relaxed and glad!
The worst is when colleagues tell lies about you, they are believed!
Especially when you are the new hire. Dealing with that BS now.
I am 73 years old, and life is so short. A deliberate message is delivered without a word. They know you will understand. Their goal is to get you to say something that makes you look like the problem.
Very true 👍
Yup. They can't deal with their own lives, so they want to disrupt yours. Evil.
You can have "associates" and maybe only one genuine friend. Thats all you really need. 😊
Yes indeed
The older I get, the more I recognize that people also need space and quiet. People can expect too much from each other. The demands for time and energy can be as troublesome as avoidance. Check your expectations
I'm guilty of that
The "dissenting opinion..." True!
exactly that, some peolpe think lovers/friends/colleagues have to fill the void your parents left in you.. and that is just not the case.
People need to be happy within themselves before they can have mature relationships; romantic or platonic.
I am of the opinion people in general have misappropriated expectations of others.
Selfishness is not living as one wants but wanting others to live as you want. Ralph Waldo Emmerson
My Self I’m My Own Best friend. 🙏🏽🛐
Anytime someone either compliments you with an insult or insult you with a compliment, it is NEVER a compliment. It is an absolute insult!!!
Passive aggressive ....
This is why I shy away from compliments my whole life.
@ time to say that's funny that is exactly what your mother said last night
@@tommerphy1286 Is that really your personal experience, or did you just validate my point?
@ insult: when someone insults my intelligence... I am of the ilk that will insult you with no ambiguity. So now the talking part is over. Are you a man or not
THIS IS THE most helpful explanation of how hiden cruelty exists. Being used freely.
Social exclusion is often dismissed as a mere oversight, but this video nails it: it's a deliberate tactic to marginalize.
Need to get over your egos and take the hint of that those excluding you, quite obviously don't' want to be around you.
@@BAsed_AFro yep. whomever is/are shunning you. Take the hint, and end it.
If whomever comes back to you, call them out on it and tell em to F off.
This is very informative
That is true and this video is great for picking up on that... However, and I say this loud and clear for all to hear putting myself in the line of fire:
Is it REALLY a stoic approach to confront them and "not go down without a fight?" because to me that actually sounds pathetic and not stoic, and I do not see any "deeper wisdom" in the line "To show them you will go down without a fight" a stoic's place is to alter his perception of said outcome, not whine about not being appreciated focused on showing people how "awesome" you are (Which indeed sounds like someone that people would "forget" to invite all the time on it's own)
Am I wrong? And if I am, then I admit without guilt nor shame for my actions that I am here to learn, that said I cannot help but cringe at a stoic "fighting for his inclusion from people that clearly don't want him there" deeper wisdom? PAH!
@@EternalNero It's not "fighting" for inclusion. Stoicism calls them out on their two-faced behavior. Then you can end it.
You have to understand though that these kind of people like it when you react to their BS, its part of their game. Ignoring or not acknowledging them is very powerful.
I’m nearly 70. I’ve had friends that were in my life for awhile & then were gone due to life experiences. I’ve had a couple disingenuous friends that were competitive, and narcissistic. One that was downright evil. You might say I’m a happy, friendly kind of person, but I am very cautious, now. Been burnt too many times. I’d rather have no friends than bad friends.
Pets are great company
@@ritalawson7020 you bet! Both my dogs left for heaven now. The next dog will have to find me.❤️
So true!!!! All the people who are no longer in my life have made my life better and better , happier and happier and FREE!!!!
Amen
@@valeriebecker5108 l disagree. Miss even some who really disappointed me . Loneliness is hard to deal with when you are old and not well and attractive anymore.
Don’t listen to what others say about you , listen to what they don’t say about you.
??? your comment makes not sense, listen to what they do not SAY?
Yes.
As in, if they do not congratulate you on your successes/achievements, do not compliment you at all, do not say kind things to you, etc.
Hope that helps!
@@BAsed_AFroi agree actions speak louder than words. Many abuser say they love you. But there is no love in abuse or neglect. With no words about hate or distain the controlling behavior tells you how they really feel. ALSO Body language speaks volumes. Glares, not making eye contact, closed fist, sitting legs crossed and arms folded and one leg is constantly kicking in your direction doesn’t mean i love you and im happy with you. Not showing up always showing up late are wordless ways of saying i don’t really care about you and I don’t respect your time or feelings. In fact most people tell you how they feel and think about you with nonverbal behaviors more than they do with words.
I was always taught to be careful and mindful of what folks are not saying to you.
@@dwandascott3947 Too bad folks can't just be honest, you know?
If someone was acting like that with me, but doesn't speak their true mind as to how they really feel... then I would just leave that on them to figure out a way to communicate how they feel verbally instead of trying to figure out what's up based on trying to guess what they're body language is saying.
I don't play the "guess how I feel/what I think of you?" game myself, and nor do I accept it when another person does.
A person is only as good as their word is, imo.
Abuse on the other hand, is a different story and won't be tolerated.
I once had a friend who seemed distant despite our regular interactions. I couldn't figure out why she was cold and unresponsive, always masking her true feelings with forced politeness. It took me a while to realize that her subtle avoidance and lack of enthusiasm were signs she was hiding her dislike.
If people exclude you , don't confront them ...move away quietly..
Now we need a video on how we were separated by the disrespectful and completely disrespected by by the crowds
I feel sorry for those people waist their time to create hate,discomfort and gossiping they are sick in their head just avoid them
Narcissists *
@@mariloevanniekerk9348 100%.
Thats how I feel towards two assholes
waste
I lost my job; truly the lowest point, and I mean lowest point in my entire life. I found out quickly how shallow my so called friends were. Years later, they reached out to me, not for caring about me but I guess more for curiosity. I never responded . I never knew how good of a person I was until I saw the shallowness of humans. I never looked back !
I'm going through that now. Nobody in sight. Always remember your worth. I believe people come into our lives for 2 reasons. Either a blessing or a lesson
I’m going through same thing exactly now. The most “righteous” people haven’t reached out at all. All talk. But a couple of coworkers have and that’s been lovely. It’s easy to spot the small people now.
@@harryscarry6064 Yes. Such times helps us find people who act for no other reason than desire to help us. That might be because of what we "do" for them or it might be because they gain reward for being loyal but so what? They are a friend in the now. Taoism teaches us that all things are impermanent so that may change.
@@rainmanjr2007thank you
I just disassociate with them … why would anyone want to force yourself on people who don’t like you, rather mix with people who do like your company.
I can't find people that like me, why,?
Yes why, cos of looking at the fast crowd... Always dominating lol. @@angiepie4436
@@angiepie4436same
@@angiepie4436
Me, either🙁
@@angiepie4436because you are a rare and wonderful thing that these abusers hide from
A person is lucky if the universe sends them one true friend.
Most people only care about themselves
Self-Preservation
Ironically the first time I realized that I was walking out of a church after being confirmed. I was only about 15.
For whoever reads this, I wish you a life filled with peace, joy, and endless light. May you find the strength to walk your path with grace, and may God's guidance lead you to abundance and true fulfillment.
God bless! 🙏❤️
Thank you, and God bless you 🙏
@@rebeccabrear4456 Thank yoou
Very well said. God bless you🩷🙏
@@lindvillarollan5639 Thank you
At 78 it's a recap on life itself, i now understand and agree with everything i have read and listened to. Thanks for posting
#1: My sister pulled this "I'm just kidding" on me and I confronted her right away. She hasn't done it since.
I told her that if she had something to say about me, just come out and say it. Don't make a phony joke about it.
#2: My mother called these "backhanded compliments."
Why would anyone want to be part of a group that dislikes you? Why subject oneself to back handed complements, dismissals, hidden hostility and disrespect?
Maybe the human drive to not be alone paired with a lack of social skills. Lack of social skills can leave one unable to be picky about friends.
Very true, it's a case of better just grin and bare it, rather than be not connected with people. Sometimes feeling like a square peg in a round hole.
Because narcissist feed off of our energy
Working in an open place office with 16 of the same nationality, mostly men, in a country other than your own, puts you in a position of sort of accepting such treatment, not that you want to be their friends, but in such a small group, and being with them 9 hours per day, 6.5 days per week does not give you much of a choice. Especially if the job market is dead.
some are raised in a home where they are set up to behave like that..
even the worst stalkers are not born that way,
stupid abusive people raise their kids like that.
This is the Human Condition. The need for companionship has risks. Narcissistic behavior comes to the surface. Use or be used. Your truest friends will never play these petty cards on you. Their loss is your gain. You have to understand that not every persons going to like you.
Agreed. Once we completely accept this fact, life becomes very enjoyable.
My live motto is; “Be respected, not liked”.
That’s what works for me.
👸🏻
Better yet, be feared.
Pay attention to your instincts. They will never lead you wrong. If a person doesn't seem right, 99.9% of the time, he or she isn't.
Trust your instincts. When you detect disrespect, slap it down immediately.
This is why I am super ok and happy with having NO FRIEND'S. People are so fake anymore and it's always "what's in it for me" and I've had the types of "friends" he's talking about in this video. My life is much more peaceful with no one else in it. I only have my kids and my husband.
The older I get the less I like the people I've known for years.I did the ultimate ghosting by moving and changing my phone number. I'm much happier now.
I WILL DO THIS!
It is what it is. i dont care if people dont like me my wife and kids do, and above all, God Loves me
Amen to that,, JESUS will light your path 🙏😁
Amen❤
God comes before all else 🙏❤️
And above all, you love you.
This dude I know used to work with would often make little digs, with a big smile as if he was "just joking". For awhile, I just brushed or laughed it off. Until after I start reading Hackspirit. That's when I realized his true intention. At first, I felt a little hurt, followed by anger. But, I decided I'd respond differently the next time. Well, sure enough, the next time, I arrived at work and hadn't been there to but 10 minutes and he cracked one of his stupid sneaky comments. I stopped dead in my tracks (and this is where silence can outweigh the power of words by a landslide). I put down my things, stood there and I just GLARED at him. His reaction was priceless. Think deer-in-headlights glaze. He then mumbled 'gee I was only joking'. After a few seconds of uncomfortable silence, I calmly said ya know, the first couple of times your little digs at my mistakes, character flaws and what not were kind of amusing so I went along with it. The first couple of times it was mildly amusing. Certainly, you fan Imagine just how much impact they've lost since then. Look at my face, does it look like I'm laughing? In fact, your humor ALMOST as funny as a truck load of empty care packages. But not quite. Keep on practicing and I'm sure you'll get there someday. Just don't practice on me. Start with yourself. I'm sure you'll be more successful. That shut him up big time. He's barely spoken to me since and when he has, he's been sickeningly polite. So much so my communication with him is as minimal as possible. I don't hesitate to call people out on that crap now. It's like they dont even have the balls to discuss whatever concerns they might have. Yet another brick in the wall about how many shitty, self centered people there are in the world. Yet another solid reason why I like my cat more than I like people
"Befriend only people who want the best for you" - Jordan Peterson, from the two 12 Rules For Life books. I'm 60 now and cannot make any lasting, meaningful friendships and I've been single for twenty years. Luckily I enjoy being alone, reading books, walking in the park, playing the piano, listening to music, doing some artwork. I do a little volunteering and belong to a couple of groups relating to my creative interests, but this doesn't lead to any real friendships. People are wrapped up in their own lives and they cannot handle single, creative women like me, they cannot pigeonhole us and that seems to trouble them. There's an ex friend of mine who was often hinting that she would invite me for a weekend break at one of her husband's holiday lets, but it was all just empty promises. She'd also text me to propose a day out or something of that nature, but would often cancel at the last minute. Another ex friend - we worked together and even played on a sports team together - even made a series of hoax phone calls to my mother !
I'm the same im happybto be on my own I don't want be invited to every birthday down the pub or party there are lots of people wh😢i used to be close to but haven't spoken to in years it doesn't bother me big we'd really been that closed we would never had lost touch i don't alwaysvexpect people to be there when I have problems life is difficult forv😅every living thing your friends have their their own problems that could be greater than yours but just don't want to lumber others with their problems.not every one believes that a problem shared is a problem halved.if I'm worried about something and share it with someone else now there worried about it the problem is doubled not halved. We are responsible for our own lives not anyone else's and nobody else is responsible for ours it's called growing up
You’re not alone we had the same experience and it sucks!
Relatable
I'm also in my 60s and have chosen to stay single for the past 15 years. I stay busy with all the same activities that you listed. I'm no longer dependent on anyone for my happiness and grateful to have acquired such a comfortable state of being. I just wish I could've gained this wisdom earlier in life. I'm still open to joining with like-minded individuals and would love to develop a thriving community.
@@aprilkitten Well said. Yes, I wish I could have had such wisdom earlier in life and not spent the years from 18 to 50 searching for the mythical knight in shining armour.
Scary to think of all the time we waste on awful people. I realized this and now I only help the animals.
Exactly 💯
I’ve experienced all of these from so called friends and even family members. Now I cannot trust anyone so I have to revert back to my childhood, keep it all to myself and not share anything with anyone!
Stoic means having no emotions. What does all of that emotional stuff have to do with stoicism?
, I, have been, used to, long,, I, believe in God and jessus christ I, have been trying hard to, help people, I love helping people, yet I always pray for peace and happiness and love,, I, thank you for the, video, I am, happy, on my own, I love my dear lord I know that God, loves me,,, yes, I, get let down, but I pray for my dear God and jessus christ to help me, and he, does yes, you are so, right,,, people,,, can, hurt, us,, I,have been, fool, but I am not going to be,, unhappy, with the the, life,, I, may have, left,,, God loves us, so, peace and happiness and joy to us all amen 🙏
Thank you for helping me recognize signs I used to think were just me being too sensitive
I learned at a young age not to care if someone likes me or not. I don't want to be around anyone who tries to B.S. me. Those who really care and want to get to know are true friends through the good and bad things.
This video really hit home. It’s so easy to overlook subtle signs of disrespect because we don’t want to seem overly sensitive. I’ve definitely been in situations where 'jokes' were just veiled insults. It’s empowering to recognize the need for boundaries to protect your self-respect!
Never base your worth on anyone's acceptance, unless that is God's acceptance.
Amen! So true
A stoic wouldn’t even notice or care about acceptance or lack of it either way. Stoicism is not feeling anything.
@@chelsea_1961 A TRUE stoic wouldn't need to watch stoic videos and virtue signal about being a TRUE stoic in multiple comment threads. 🤣
@@lateralus1972 exactly!!! Oh wait… did you read words that weren’t there & think I am a stoic? 😳🤣
@@chelsea_1961 you seem to be craving some sort of attention & not getting it. You're constantly begging for it in these threads 🎉
There is always something coming out of it, theirs rudness, your sadness, their satisfaction, the Universe replying
True 🙏