05 Secrets About Yourself You Should Never Tell Your Partner
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- Опубликовано: 3 июл 2024
- 05 Secrets About Yourself You Should Never Tell Your Partner
CHAPTERS
00:00 Intro
00:56 Insecurities About Appearance
02:35 Past Relationship Details
04:16 Family Conflicts
05:30 Personal Habits That Annoy You
06:53 Negative Comments From Your Friends
08:05 Closing
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1. Insecurities About Appearance
Constantly expressing dissatisfaction with your appearance isn't something your partner can fix. It's a personal journey of self-love that you should embark on without burdening your partner as a constant confidence booster. I've encountered relationships where partners sought validation excessively, which eventually drained the connection's energy. Your partner can appreciate you, flaws and all, but remember, he's there to complement your happiness, not to fix your insecurities.
2. Past Relationship Details
Oversharing explicit details about your romantic history, especially intimate experiences, can create distance rather than closeness. While transparency is valued, excessive information of this nature can breed unnecessary drama. Some individuals intentionally overshare to evoke jealousy, believing it signals love and passion. However, healthy jealousy is protective, not possessive. Remember, it's not about hiding your past, but about being mindful of what details are worth sharing.
3. Family Conflicts
Discussing every family feud may not be the best move. Sharing every family conflict might strain your partner's relationship with your family. Venting about family issues can unintentionally paint a negative picture, leading to unnecessary tension. While communication is essential, be selective about what you share to maintain a balance between your partner and family.
4. Personal Habits That Annoy You
Let's talk about your partner's personal habits that may irk you. Constantly pointing out minor annoyances can create tension, especially when these habits are integral to who he is. Appreciate the bigger picture of your relationship instead of focusing on small irritations. Choose your battles wisely, and remember that a relationship thrives on acceptance and understanding.
5. Negative Comments From Friends About Your Partner
Lastly, consider negative comments from friends about your partner. Not every negative comment needs to be relayed to your significant other. People form opinions based on limited information, and sharing every comment may create unnecessary tension. Remember, your relationship is between you and your partner, and not everyone needs to be informed about all opinions tossed your way.
Ismael Gomez III
I'm a Cuban-American Relationship Coach, Author, and Speaker.
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I agree with all the points. It's better to stay single. I've never come across anyone who accepts my clean lifestyle. They love my appearance & nature but then feel inferior & begin to critisize me saying I'm not normal coz I eat same food everyday & have the same routine. That's when I realized, toxic people think simplicity is boring coz they derive meaning from outside. While the real ones have a rich inner world because discipline = self love = self mastery.
That's such a powerful statement. I know exactly what you mean.
Hii lorena thanks for your opinion it feels better
I hear you. My habits differ slightly from yours but I prefer myself to a crowd. Small circle, less drama. More self awareness, less of expending energy all around. Namaste
Well said!
If a woman thinks a man is sharing all if his “secrets” she’s truly lost her marbles!
1. Insecurities about your physical appearance
2. Past relationship details
3. Family conflicts
4. His habits that annoy you
5. Your friends negative comments about him
Thank you
Thanks so much!!!🥰
You’re awesome! Thank you so much.
I was with my husband for 30 years and there are some things he didn't need to know about my previous life.
There should be no rule for what to say and done.
Find a partner that
Being with each other Naturally like drinking water.
Life is too short to handle those ungrateful +difficult +lack of empathy.
Be with someone who is clearly your person.
Spend time with someone who really makes you happy.
I think its more about moderation, than it is about avoiding sharing these things. Sure, in the beginning of a new relationship, it might be best to leave these details out, unless directly asked -because nobody likes a liar. But if youre in this for the long haul, i think its totally normal to share these things. The thing you dont want to do, is overload your partner with always talking about this stuff. Ladies, youre not ugly enough to find something about your appearance to complain about every day. And thats a fact. And nobody wants to regularly hear about their partners prior relationship activities. But socially, if youre always the one who never has anything to share about past experiences, whether youre with a group of friends and youre joking about the embarrassing moments youve all had, or youre with your partner, privately discussing past traumas youve faced.. etc.. if you never share the things youve been through, you look like youre hiding something. Were human. And that means that perfection is literally unattainable. So we have all faced something thats caused us to have difficulty in some situation or other, and we have also all done something we are not so proud of to some extent. Its good to talk about these things, as it helps us to process stuff in a healthy and beneficial way. Just dont make these things your go-to talking points.
Just be yourself.
So true specially about the family conflicts it can turn against you
Hi I never ever told a guy nothing !! Let him fantasize who you are until your long married and then don’t say anything girls seriously ok. He doesn’t have to know your past relationships. Or your bad relationships etc. they don’t need to know the dirt ok 🙏🙏🙏🥰
Got it 👌🏽
What do you say if he asks about your past relationships, and how many there were?
My Grandmother said ..... "Keep the Mystique". As an older woman I can tell you that she was absolutely right.
This is very good advice!
Also don't share your responsibilities towards your family in the initial days of dating.
meaning
How so?
Ismael . I think everything you've said here applies just as much to men as to women. So rather than wonder or attempt to guess what we think or hope our other person is interested in or wants to know about us, why not simply ask them? What's most important to them about us? What do the think they have the right or entitlement to know about us? Take it from there....
When women complain about certain areas of their body, it’s not because they don’t like it. Actually, they love it. They are fishing for a compliment. Which in itself is extremely irritating.
Thank you Ismael. These things help me a lot!!
Great video!!
Thank you.❤
Thanks so much ❤
Best advice ❤
Wise words!
Thanks
It was really very helpful. 💯💯. I have sent this video to many of my family and friends.
I have the habit of oversharing and I thought that he needs to know but sharing about my past was so detrimental to me as it was used against me.
I was heartbroken again in the same way (almost same scenerio)
So helpful thanks
Glad it was helpful to you.
Thank you
It was so useful.
Always my pleasure.
What are some subtle signs of healthy jealousy?
Could u do a video on that?
Thanx.
Hey there I have shared all the 5 and regretting now that at the starting of the relationship he was totally different
Another great video!
Oh... naw!
My teenage and early 20's dating experiences HAVE to be shared, because they are f'n FUNNEEEEEE 😂!
If a girl is insecure about her looks, she shouldn’t be dating until she’s secure within herself and shows a certain level of emotional maturity. It was your mistake in selecting her.
Past relationship details are extremely important and insightful. It will help you to understand who your person is because our experiences shape us. So, to not investigate these past experiences means you will make these mistakes again with the person. And the people who do not spend the time to understand people’s past also shows inexperience in understanding relationships and human psychology.
Looks like I shared with him all 5 secrets, so he said let's be friends and tell me more. I am kidding, but it's sort of how I ruined my great relationship.
What u say makes sense I always thought being honest n openminded helped but it has its downsides thanks for the guidance it helps a lot coz one gets vulnerable in these situations u explained so explicitly. Thank ❤🌹🙏you IG n God bless 🙏
Hey! I shared my mistake with my partner that I did unintentionally . And after that our realtion is not good enough now. What Can I do to make it normal again?
Does that mean you do not tell him if you cheated in a previous relationship?
First comment !!
Relationships sound like war. No, thanks.
I neaver did that and,you have too take,one another fore who thy are and us all,and I could careless a bout eny one thing's,
❤❤❤
Sounds like you shouldn't tell him anything.
What's the point then?
Aren't we suppose to be the safe space of one another?
Obviously be stable within yourself because over sharing isn't healthy for both sides, but not sharing overall insecurities, family situations, things that bother you?
Sounds toxic.
It's about balance. Like you point out, oversharing is what can cause problems in the long run.
I did all he said..😢
Hey Ismael, why would he make me jealous though when he made it clear he is no longer interested in as he initially thought????
Even if he's not interested, he likes the attention...
@@SaveTheMessenger I don't understand, why would he seek for my attention if he is clearly getting it elsewhere with the girl he's getting closer with??? I love really hard and I love unconditionally, I still love him even if he doesn't, is that abnormal when we truly love a person in this way??
He’s probably a narcissist.
👍👍👍❤️💯
i wont criticize at all
They need God!
Ismail I want to see you in more fun colour, like yellow. Let me know how can I send you one. ❤
For a start I would never date a vegan
This man is wrong, so wrong about a partner not being able to fix insecurities. First, let me say that some attention hogs use insecurities to gain the attention they desire. In this case they really don't have insecurities to start with. We can earn people's trust, and some people are damaged by past relationships and left that way. We probably have some insecurities ourselves that we need help with. Most everyone does today. Earning trust should be expected in this day and age, and that's all it takes to fix insecurities. You just have to live up to exactly what you say to someone, no lies and no deceit, and have a great understanding of exactly what it is your partner needs and be able to communicate and work with them to the best of your ability.