Thank you Ismaël for your valuable advice. You're doing a remarkable job for relationships between men and women. I have an indiscreet question: is your heart still up for grabs? (female curiosity).
" detachment" means being dumped or dumping someone....cutting off a negative person involves blocking them on phone and aocial nedia and sont look back ..being a heartless selfish bitch is very attractive
A “friend” of my daughter told he he didn’t want a romantic relationship. So she moved on, now he is leaving flowers and love poems and begging on his knees for a second chance. Nope, he had a chance but decided to play games.
I agree as I am one of them. It is hard to make me think about someone as I have already seen so many hurdles in life and neglected myself for many things. Edit : I ran charity too while neglecting myself. Am I a people pleaser?
Everything you said is so true, at the end of the day you attract what you are, and you’ll attract more things in life when you stop putting too much emphasis and care and you just let things be the way it is and put your trust in god and focusing on your self.
Thank you, I’m glad it resonated with you. It’s amazing how much can change when we let go and focus on ourselves. Trusting in the process really does make all the difference.
Facts! Every time I detach all of a sudden I am chased like no one’s business…stay busy, work on yourself, find hobbies…men love that shit. Stop being clingy ladies and love yourself
My husband and I never played such games. We're best friends. From the time we became romantic we hsve been together. He's very giving and loving. No games needed. Build a solid foundation.
I understand your point, but why do we need to play games in relationships? Don't smother someone in the beginning but I'm walking away from power games.
There's always people like you. People can always be the healthiest but still want space. And you should want your space naturally. Not feel like you're playing games. If you want to disrespect yourself by checking your notifications every 30 seconds you can do that too. Respecting yourself doesn't mean playing games with other.
I used to be very anxiously attached, and I chased people a lot, but then I did exactly as you said because I was tired of doing it and it wasn't working. Now I have a lot of men that are interested in me, and women too. But now I sort of have the polar opposite problem where I'm more avoidant. I attract people, sure but no one I'm really interested in getting to know. I don't know if this is self sabotage on my part or if the right person just hasn't come along yet.
I'd be careful with the bold assumption that a complete lack of attachement is attractive.If a man is willing to accept and finds this attitude is desirable, the lady might as well have other sexual partners simultaneously. If a lack of commitment is attractive to a man, he's either not interested or lacks character. It should be obvious to a man that, for a woman, love equals closeness. If she's detached, that might seem attractive to him, but only, because he doesn't understand women. She's either not really interested or is a potential cheater, which means, she has low moral standards and isn't faithful. That's fine for a playboy, who's looking for a party girl, but not for a man, who wants to get married. She might as well dumb him quickly, if she has found a better option.
This video is talking about attachments to outcomes, not attachments to commitments or other people. It's letting go of the expectation of specific responses because you're already satisfied with the work that you put into something. You did the thing because _you_ wanted to, not because you wanted him to praise you for it, as an example. I recently sent a video to a guy I'm seeing and the day he said he would look at it, he didn't mention anything about it at all. Nothing positive or negative. But I don't care about his lack of response, because I'm content with the work that I put into it and wanted to share it with him regardless of how he would respond to it. I detached myself from the expectation of any specific response. It's on him now to let me know if he didn't appreciate it. And if he never says he actually did appreciate it, that's on him, too.
It just means that they are attracted to someone who can walk away if they aren’t getting what they need, instead of hanging out in hopes he comes around.
A woman will decide she wants a man and treats him well, a man's brain goes oh I have her, she detaches because she feels unloved, he takes her for granted. Men think oh I can win her back, she's playing games, not realising they have done the damage she doesn't want him back. They then say I can't trust women 😂
Great vid. The only person I have control over is myself. I hope I never again in my life depend on someone else for my own happiness. A hard lesson. I think a confident woman with her own hobbies and interests is very attractive to men; we’re not hanging around waiting for a call/text. No game playing. It’s not letting someone else’s actions control your moods and emotions.
Thanks for watching, and I appreciate your comment. It’s so true-the only person we can control is ourselves, and depending on others for happiness only leads to frustration. A confident woman with her own life is definitely attractive, and having that sense of independence is key to maintaining healthy, balanced relationships.
I actually realised THIS when I was teenager, not in your words but how I should think and how I should behave. And it's exactly what you're saying. So really congrats because there are so many people who don't get this true at all. ❤🎉
The only thing that doesn't run away when you cling is Jesus Christ. Cling your heart out! He is the ONLY one who will complete/fulfill all your dreams. The first importance in a man is his relationship with Christ, the closer you each are to Christ the closer you can be to each other. Stop looking to a man to be your all, your #1. That is Christ's place.
You are your own source of all things. It come thru you, and magnetize more not chase more. no reason to be detached you have everything you need and can create what you dont. Being in joyful states of being will help your actions be clear.Believe in yourself focus inward and adore and honor. all is well. All about you while being kind and respectful.
Thanks so much. I feel like detachement is my hardest lesson. I really struggle to balance being engaged and wanting this one special person while being cool at the same time without having this person at my side as a partner. I would appreciate it, if you would keep making videos about detachment and letting go. Thanks so much!
@@SaveTheMessenger Thanks for replying. Well, lets start with the inner values: he is a colleague of mine and since three years we work together, so I came to know him a bit. The things I noticed from his character: 1. I never heard him talking bad behind the back of others. 2. He never blames others for his mistakes, he takes responsibility. 3. He is kind to everyone, he treats the cleaner in the same way like he treats the boss. 4. He is diligent and does not avoid tasks. 4. He criticizes people openly and at the same time respectfully. 5. He is kind and confident (which is rare). 6. He is passionate about his hobbies. 7. He does not seek validation through social media (he has no IG, Facebook, etc.) and now we come to the superficial stuff, but this is also important: 8. I like the sound of his voice. 9. I love his laugh. 10. He has a great taste in style. 11. He is very good looking. Tall, great smile, open eyes and the most beautiful nose I have seen so far. You see: he is my kryptonite.
I think problem with that is that we idolise a person. In our heads we already knew how he is great and how great it would be is together but that's our imagination. We can also imagine so many bad things as well but we don't. To me it really helped to imagine bad things that can be in his character, just like I already imagined good. Yes it's hard but you must do it. And yes he only showed good things but that's just mask, you don't know him on his bad day or when he is close to someone. Just literally imagine bad things about him, something that would bother you very much, and start to believe in it. And now you are changed your energy and he is chasing you. Suddenly you become so interesting to him. You will see.
@@lucyk2634 Thanks for your reply and your advise! Well, since we work together I would say, that I know him on his bad days when things go wrong and when he is stressed out. But you are right - I noticed all this good things, but there are also some bad one. Like he is a bit of a horder and chaotic. Maybe you are right and I should bring his not so good qualities to the spotlight.
Thank you. When builders focus on their goals, they naturally attract opportunities rather than chasing after them. It’s all about prioritizing what truly matters and letting the right things come to you.
I’m a dismissive avoidant aka a master at detachment. I think it works because men haven’t asked me out or noticed me. I’ll keep it up because it’s natural and I love my alone time. I’m 40 next year and glad it’s working to keep the murderers I accidentally know away.
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
I think men need to know a few things about women. If you don’t recognize and see our value from the get go, you don’t deserve us. It’s really kind of sad. And I’ve walked away from men who don’t see me. And I’m awesome and beautiful inside and out. They always circle back around but it’s too late. A woman loses interest. All the flowers and apologies in the world after a point mean nothing. Men have windows of opportunities to show who they are. That’s why women leave men. We’re patient to a point.
I've watched almost all your videos in row, in a very confused state of mind my current relationship has brought me into. You are a gamechanger with your clear, straightforward statements and insights. Thank you! 💐 Your inspiration brought me back to myself ... and to realizing the major mistakes I've made lately in this relationship. Warm greetings from Berlin!
Dear Ismael, have to give you a lot of admiration and thanks for being a great guy that has chosen to help women to find and keep a good candidate! Congratulations! You are awesome.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I truly appreciate your support and am glad to help women navigate their journeys. It means a lot to hear that my efforts are making a difference.
1:59 Anything you chase will run 🏃♂️ from you anything you cling 🫂 to will seek to get out of your grasp anything you put on a pedestal 🏆will always be out of your reach 2:10 this is why detachment is the key 🔑 to getting anything you want
Being self sufficient and taking care of yourself is really important. And, if a guy doesn't want to spend time or energy on me, if I detach it's for good. I mean honestly, if this is how men are a whole, I'm not interested anymore. I enjoy my peace and giving to those who give back because they love and cherish me. I don't want to play games or pretend I'm not interested in someone, it's boring and sad.
Thank you so much. truly appreciate the support. It’s been an incredible journey, and I’m grateful for everyone who’s been a part of it. Here's to even more growth together.
Thank you for the kind words. I'm glad you found it valuable. It's important to share insights that can empower everyone, and I appreciate your support.
This was the God send video - I’ve been trying to find something real and practical I actually felt a lift once o understood this - I’ve been wanting to detach
Since I detached so much I feel like the men just give up? Or could it be that the dating pool is so little when u got high standards and you don’t chase
oh God the first minute - coming from a date (yesterday) where the man was love-bombing to the point that i still feel suffocated today. It's horrible to not get enough space. Flight instinct
Men are so complicated 😢 In contact with a person i met online for some months now and been in an emotional turmoil ever since,I so like him but so tired of the uncertainty.
Ismael, that was the best video I have ever seen on detachment. I truly understand it now and will put your tips to use as I focus on my inputs!! Fantastic, Ty 😊
I finally figured out how to do this. He actually respected me enough to tell me he is still there but he explained to me a method to understand how to stop "obsessing" over what others think about me, obsessing over rejection that is or isn't there. God Bless people like him and the guy in this video. I sincerely wish to God someone taught me these things. Any way I can make myself healthier on any level is the way I want to go in life. I'm 44 and I am forever a life-learner.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate your support from the beginning. It’s been an incredible journey, and I’m grateful to have you along for the ride.
woah. you reached over 100k so fast. i remember being here when you had 7,000 subscribers; and that was only four months ago. everything’s just working out in your favor, huh?😅 happy to see ur success. keep it going.
As always, another wonderful video dropped by you ❤ Can you please make a video on how to deal with male ego? I suppose women more or less have encountered it at some point of their life.
Ismael, I am so happy to have a subscription to this channel. Not only you have such a comforting voice - yeah, those vocal coachings DID pay off! - but you put YOURSELF and your life stories in the videos. I really enjoyed your examples of how this laws of detachmet worked for you. And I have a little follow-up question: you speak a lot about how multitasking is bad. I know that, I've heard that it just fills you up with too much adrenaline and gives you more drama in your life. But ... I am a working mom and if I didn't multitask, I probably wouldn't get anything done ... Do you by any chance have an advice on that..? Otherwise, keep making excellent videos! Love from Slovenia, Europe.
I would like to share some words from the book Fidelity - How to create a loving relationship that lasts by Thich Nhat Hanh: When we love someone, we should look deeply into the nature of that love. True love doesn't contain suffering or attachment. It brings well-being to ourselves and others. True love is generated from within. With true love, you feel complete in yourself; you don't need something from outside. True love is like the sun, shining with its own light, and offering that light to everyone.
My client recently said today “men actually like the silent treatment gives us space to do what ever we want.” Appreciation comes in balance with and without
As a relationships coach you should know that its not about women chasing men. Its about women CHOOSING and being attracted to men who needs to be chased. Because when those same women are around men who are present - they dont need to chase them, and they become secure. The solution is not to stop chasing some man. The solution is to start paying attention to a different type of men, which will feel uncomfortable at first, but with time, inner work, and awareness it will be possible to shift your focus on men who dont need to be chased. I promise you.
You hit the nail on the head with everything you said in this video, even though it's taken me years to figure most of this out. But you're right about other videos out there on this topic that are not correct or clear. Because just not calling back or responding is not right (basically playing games) it's what you said on how to be and think is right. It just makes sense, thank you for that! I mean when I was in my twenties it was a no brainer because I had so many suitors interested in me, the one guy didn't act right for awhile so I gave someone else a chance. But that person died years ago, so now I'm in my fifties and don't go out anymore because things and times have changed. (sorry this is so long, this is my first time checking out your channel) I never knew any Cubans because of where I live in the Midwest of America, we have Mexican and Puerto Ricans that I know of. But you have my respect and admiration. May God bless you and protect you for trying to help people.
Hey I was hoping you could post a video on what happens after a guy leaves a relationship with you after an ugly fight ...and what are the possibilities we can expect while moving on.
Me encantó tu video😍, gracias por compartir este tipo de información y presentarla de forma clara y al mismos tiempo amable y crecana. También soy cubana y entiendo muy bien cuando mencionaste lo de correr detrás de lo que necesitas, no alcanzarlo y la sensación de frustración que trae consigo; lo mismo aplica en las relaciones, ahora lo comprendo. The 'Quick Tip' quote "People who avoid their own feelings, WILL neglect yours" really resonated with me.
Best explanation yet on detachment, thank you Ismael. Laterally applying this advice to all situations and all relationships...Exactly what I needed before a big banquet dinner tonight! Ladies, subscribe to this channel and make sure you click on the bell. Uncertainty triggers fear of rejection. Fear (that is not about physical safety) is always caused by lies we believe,...meaning that your fear is the signal that what you believe is false or assumption and if you try to prevent what you are afraid of, you will make the wrong decisions and create the self-fulfilling prophecy of what you didn't want to happen. Congratulations on your achievements Ismael by making our world a better place through helping all women!
The challenging part is when you carry complex trauma and/or are turning 40 and still haven't found that special partner to buy a house with or father to your child, then you start getting quite stressed about finding him.
Basically, let go of your attachment to wanting these outcomes, and these outcomes will come to you. Focus on yourself and being the type of person _you_ would want to be with. Try to heal what you can and learn to love yourself above anyone else. This will attract the right kind of people who will want to be in your orbit. It's a journey. It takes time.
Thank you for your wonderful message. I truly appreciate your support and positive energy. It means a lot to me and everyone in our community. Sending love and good vibes back to you.
Im as detached as they come. Men have always complained how "aloof" i am or "guarded" my favorite is " you're hard to read" when I'm just not emotional woman or emotionally needy. I am very independent. So for me , men have not liked these characteristics.
Congratulations Ismael😊🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉for reaching such an awesome 100K subscribers. I wish you all the best. And thank you as always for your insightful video. This was very interesting and helpful. My relationship with my ex husband made me feel very insecure and has left me with scars that I need to work on every day for my new relationship to work. Your video makes things clear on how to be detached in a secure way and without any mind games.
But we’ll throw you men in the friend zone. Knowing we want nothing more than friendship. And we’ll talk your ear off about our latest love interests. 😊
Thank you for your support. I’m glad the videos resonate with you, and it’s great to hear you’re finding value in both the new tips and the refreshers.
Hi, thanks for the tips. I’m a person that stands back and let’s the guy do the approaching but the pushy ones come forward and the one that doesn’t approach usually are the keepers but well they don’t approach me. They just smile. I just let things be natural, never forcing it.
Thanks for sharing your experience. It sounds like you have a great approach to dating by letting things flow naturally. Sometimes the best connections come from patience and allowing the right person to make the first move. It’s all about finding that balance and trusting the process.
So ecstatic for you reaching 100K plus subscribers. My very first comment ever was how don't you already have 1 mil subs. Looking forward to you reaching that milestone. As always another insightful video . I appreciate you.
I definitely go cold and don’t text thinking oh, I’m giving him space, I am detaching. Then I say well he’s not texting me so it wasn’t meant to be. I think I forget to do part one and try to make a relationship work. I just go to step two of moving on from something that didn’t seem like it was working.
Congratulations 🎉 and as always straightforward good advice unlike others going around in circles and confusing us even more.. Thank you love ur advice ❤
I'm in my 40s, a psych student & have decades of experience. I've heard many coaches, I've dealt with being in a variety of loving and toxic relationships. You are hands down one of the best channels & one of few people I can listen to that teaches me something new. You also speak very concise & yet also explain very well without rambling. You seem young, but are wise beyond your years. I have no doubt you're gonna make it to a mil subs on this channel 🤍
Thank you so much for the kind words. It means a lot to hear that my content resonates with someone who has so much experience. I appreciate your support and belief in the channel.
Hi, men always chase me n women r jealous of me. However,when i accepted a man into my life, i will start to get bored of men n i will do n say things to make them hate me (sabotaging the relationship). On many occasions, i wished to be in a relationship with a few of those men, but when they show interest n started to commit n kept calling me a few times a day, i started to get bored n wished that they didnt communicate with me that often. Also i do not understand how falling in love feels like. I dont think i fell in love. Maybe i just like the relationship. I said i love u to them but i dont feel it. Can u explain on that.
I think you just have trauma in the past or afraid to open your heart even you love them too but your trauma Holds u then make u like you are never in love just because you have feeling afraid of being hurted
Congratulations! Hope you hit 1,000,000 soon! I prefer the approach of self improvement, so I really appreciated this video. And while I believe it's beneficial to understand some of the current dating trends or even some of the basic psychological differences between men and women, I don't think happiness comes from another person. So this approach of 'improve the self, the rest will follow' deeply resonates. Thank you
If you wish to experience authentic love with a man,
I made my new program Male Commitment Decoded just for you. 👇
www.savethemessenger.com/mcd
Thank you Ismaël for your valuable advice. You're doing a remarkable job for relationships between men and women. I have an indiscreet question: is your heart still up for grabs? (female curiosity).
" detachment" means being dumped or dumping someone....cutting off a negative person involves blocking them on phone and aocial nedia and sont look back ..being a heartless selfish bitch is very attractive
A “friend” of my daughter told he he didn’t want a romantic relationship. So she moved on, now he is leaving flowers and love poems and begging on his knees for a second chance. Nope, he had a chance but decided to play games.
The definition of having high standards. Good for her.
👏👏👏
I'm glad. What an imbecilie.
In losing her, he made himself a loser.
Good
👏👏👏
The 'Quick Tip' quote "People who avoid their own feelings, WILL neglect yours" was a revelation for me. Tysm for this video!
I’m glad that quote resonated with you. It’s a powerful reminder about the importance of emotional awareness in relationships.
Isn't that what a people pleaser is? They self sacrifice for everyone else.
I agree as I am one of them. It is hard to make me think about someone as I have already seen so many hurdles in life and neglected myself for many things.
Edit : I ran charity too while neglecting myself. Am I a people pleaser?
That was a stop in my tracks comme t. Thnks@@SaveTheMessenger
amen.
“Stop needing and start BECOMING” BEST QUOTE OF THE YEAR! 💪🏽🏆
Hope that insight serves you well.
How strange!Men want care and loyalty.but when they are given immense love and care they start taking for granted and gets irritated.
Actually very strange!
100
They crave scarcity. Never make him believe he has you 100%
No women do! Men want s*x.
Yes it's weird.
Everything you said is so true, at the end of the day you attract what you are, and you’ll attract more things in life when you stop putting too much emphasis and care and you just let things be the way it is and put your trust in god and focusing on your self.
Exactly 👌❤️
Amen 🙏🏻
❤❤
Thank you, I’m glad it resonated with you. It’s amazing how much can change when we let go and focus on ourselves. Trusting in the process really does make all the difference.
So true. I'm trying to let go of my need for my children's approval. Having a tough time doing it 😢
It’s detaching by knowing that you will be okay without them. Living your own life. Not being unemotional… this guy is finally explaining everything
Facts! Every time I detach all of a sudden I am chased like no one’s business…stay busy, work on yourself, find hobbies…men love that shit. Stop being clingy ladies and love yourself
Get a therapist
The more I learn about what men want, the less I want a man. It's like an exhausting game.
Tye more i know . The more i work on achieving my goal. U are true. Its a exhausting job
They simply want what they cannot have. When you’re available, there’s no challenge.
I’m not sure why some men need a challenge so badly. If you have a good woman that wants you, why can’t that be enough?!
Yes better find challenges in career and personal growth@@ariyonnathebeautifulariese4104
@@ariyonnathebeautifulariese4104 if you find out the answer to that, let me know!
@@ariyonnathebeautifulariese4104Strange right? But maby they need more adventures with their woman.
So that's why the woman should do her own stuff still, even if she is in a relationship.
My husband and I never played such games. We're best friends. From the time we became romantic we hsve been together. He's very giving and loving. No games needed. Build a solid foundation.
I understand your point, but why do we need to play games in relationships? Don't smother someone in the beginning but I'm walking away from power games.
if you feel like you are playing games, you are not detached
I didn't feel like he was talking about playing games, but more about not being attached to an unhealthy degree
There's always people like you. People can always be the healthiest but still want space. And you should want your space naturally. Not feel like you're playing games. If you want to disrespect yourself by checking your notifications every 30 seconds you can do that too. Respecting yourself doesn't mean playing games with other.
I know it feels like that ..I felt the same way you feeling now..but with time ..I got it ..don’t wait till you get it !!
@@Ms_nazahow did you get it? What clicked? Can you give an example 🙏🏽
Staying engaged without feeling the specific need for an outcome. That's good. I'm gonna do this ❤
Me tooooo
I used to be very anxiously attached, and I chased people a lot, but then I did exactly as you said because I was tired of doing it and it wasn't working. Now I have a lot of men that are interested in me, and women too. But now I sort of have the polar opposite problem where I'm more avoidant. I attract people, sure but no one I'm really interested in getting to know. I don't know if this is self sabotage on my part or if the right person just hasn't come along yet.
Could be a bit of both
The right person has not come along. Trust God, stay on ur path of self improvement and keep it moving. God will reveal His will in ur life :)
Maybe you have fearful avoidant connection style … check it out
I wrote a book about this. In a marriage, you have to continue to be your own person. Clinging will naturally push your partner away.
I detached and he disappeared never to be heard from again😂🥴
He may not have actually liked you. he might have just enjoyed the ego boost? Idk
Its true
Same lol
😂😂😂😂 his rejection is yoir protection
😂😂😂😂😂. Same here
I'd be careful with the bold assumption that a complete lack of attachement is attractive.If a man is willing to accept and finds this attitude is desirable, the lady might as well have other sexual partners simultaneously.
If a lack of commitment is attractive to a man, he's either not interested or lacks character.
It should be obvious to a man that, for a woman, love equals closeness. If she's detached, that might seem attractive to him, but only, because he doesn't understand women.
She's either not really interested or is a potential cheater, which means, she has low moral standards and isn't faithful.
That's fine for a playboy, who's looking for a party girl, but not for a man, who wants to get married.
She might as well dumb him quickly, if she has found a better option.
This video is talking about attachments to outcomes, not attachments to commitments or other people. It's letting go of the expectation of specific responses because you're already satisfied with the work that you put into something. You did the thing because _you_ wanted to, not because you wanted him to praise you for it, as an example.
I recently sent a video to a guy I'm seeing and the day he said he would look at it, he didn't mention anything about it at all. Nothing positive or negative. But I don't care about his lack of response, because I'm content with the work that I put into it and wanted to share it with him regardless of how he would respond to it. I detached myself from the expectation of any specific response. It's on him now to let me know if he didn't appreciate it. And if he never says he actually did appreciate it, that's on him, too.
This 💯💯💯💯
It just means that they are attracted to someone who can walk away if they aren’t getting what they need, instead of hanging out in hopes he comes around.
Did you even watch the video? You sound silly
A woman will decide she wants a man and treats him well, a man's brain goes oh I have her, she detaches because she feels unloved, he takes her for granted. Men think oh I can win her back, she's playing games, not realising they have done the damage she doesn't want him back. They then say I can't trust women 😂
Great vid. The only person I have control over is myself. I hope I never again in my life depend on someone else for my own happiness. A hard lesson.
I think a confident woman with her own hobbies and interests is very attractive to men; we’re not hanging around waiting for a call/text. No game playing. It’s not letting someone else’s actions control your moods and emotions.
Thanks for watching, and I appreciate your comment. It’s so true-the only person we can control is ourselves, and depending on others for happiness only leads to frustration. A confident woman with her own life is definitely attractive, and having that sense of independence is key to maintaining healthy, balanced relationships.
Great way to put it. ",Not letting someone control your actions."
2:16 she really nailed it with those 3 principles 😮😮😮 chase, run, cling, squirm, pedestal, unreachable 😮😮😮
Makes sense. You are treasured by people you are trying to get away from yet the one you immensely keeps turning you down.
I know this one man is totally attracted to me because I haven't seen him for 5 years.
😂
😂😂
Its mind blowing
Sis 😂
Okay 😅😅
I actually realised THIS when I was teenager, not in your words but how I should think and how I should behave. And it's exactly what you're saying. So really congrats because there are so many people who don't get this true at all. ❤🎉
The only thing that doesn't run away when you cling is Jesus Christ. Cling your heart out! He is the ONLY one who will complete/fulfill all your dreams. The first importance in a man is his relationship with Christ, the closer you each are to Christ the closer you can be to each other. Stop looking to a man to be your all, your #1. That is Christ's place.
🙄🙄🙄
Jeez
Thanks, I needed this!
😍😊
I just made this same comment ❤
You are your own source of all things. It come thru you, and magnetize more not chase more. no reason to be detached you have everything you need and can create what you dont. Being in joyful states of being will help your actions be clear.Believe in yourself focus inward and adore and honor. all is well. All about you while being kind and respectful.
Thank you
Thanks so much. I feel like detachement is my hardest lesson. I really struggle to balance being engaged and wanting this one special person while being cool at the same time without having this person at my side as a partner. I would appreciate it, if you would keep making videos about detachment and letting go. Thanks so much!
What makes the person so special to you?
@@SaveTheMessenger Thanks for replying. Well, lets start with the inner values: he is a colleague of mine and since three years we work together, so I came to know him a bit. The things I noticed from his character:
1. I never heard him talking bad behind the back of others.
2. He never blames others for his mistakes, he takes responsibility.
3. He is kind to everyone, he treats the cleaner in the same way like he treats the boss.
4. He is diligent and does not avoid tasks.
4. He criticizes people openly and at the same time respectfully.
5. He is kind and confident (which is rare).
6. He is passionate about his hobbies.
7. He does not seek validation through social media (he has no IG, Facebook, etc.)
and now we come to the superficial stuff, but this is also important:
8. I like the sound of his voice.
9. I love his laugh.
10. He has a great taste in style.
11. He is very good looking. Tall, great smile, open eyes and the most beautiful nose I have seen so far.
You see: he is my kryptonite.
@@milks9289nose comment was my fav my bf has a beautiful one as well 😊
I think problem with that is that we idolise a person. In our heads we already knew how he is great and how great it would be is together but that's our imagination. We can also imagine so many bad things as well but we don't. To me it really helped to imagine bad things that can be in his character, just like I already imagined good. Yes it's hard but you must do it. And yes he only showed good things but that's just mask, you don't know him on his bad day or when he is close to someone. Just literally imagine bad things about him, something that would bother you very much, and start to believe in it. And now you are changed your energy and he is chasing you. Suddenly you become so interesting to him. You will see.
@@lucyk2634 Thanks for your reply and your advise! Well, since we work together I would say, that I know him on his bad days when things go wrong and when he is stressed out. But you are right - I noticed all this good things, but there are also some bad one. Like he is a bit of a horder and chaotic. Maybe you are right and I should bring his not so good qualities to the spotlight.
I pull away and/or do not offer up the "holding on too tight" in the first place. CERTAINLY has been my experience that men flock to it.
It’s interesting how dynamics shift when we change our approach.
Great video! Cat or mouse. Builders don’t chase because they are busy building 💖
Thank you. When builders focus on their goals, they naturally attract opportunities rather than chasing after them. It’s all about prioritizing what truly matters and letting the right things come to you.
So true, builders are busy building 😂
I’m a dismissive avoidant aka a master at detachment. I think it works because men haven’t asked me out or noticed me. I’ll keep it up because it’s natural and I love my alone time. I’m 40 next year and glad it’s working to keep the murderers I accidentally know away.
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
I think men need to know a few things about women.
If you don’t recognize and see our value from the get go, you don’t deserve us. It’s really kind of sad. And I’ve walked away from men who don’t see me. And I’m awesome and beautiful inside and out. They always circle back around but it’s too late. A woman loses interest. All the flowers and apologies in the world after a point mean nothing.
Men have windows of opportunities to show who they are. That’s why women leave men. We’re patient to a point.
I've watched almost all your videos in row, in a very confused state of mind my current relationship has brought me into. You are a gamechanger with your clear, straightforward statements and insights. Thank you! 💐 Your inspiration brought me back to myself ... and to realizing the major mistakes I've made lately in this relationship. Warm greetings from Berlin!
Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m really glad to hear the videos have helped you find clarity and get back to yourself.
Dear Ismael, have to give you a lot of admiration and thanks for being a great guy that has chosen to help women to find and keep a good candidate! Congratulations! You are awesome.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I truly appreciate your support and am glad to help women navigate their journeys. It means a lot to hear that my efforts are making a difference.
Thankyou Ismael.. you are a earthly guardian angel 😇
I am 52 yrs young going into my 5th month of serious relationship... in Australia 🇦🇺
1:59
Anything you chase will run 🏃♂️ from you
anything you cling 🫂 to will seek to get out of your grasp
anything you put on a pedestal 🏆will always be out of your reach
2:10 this is why detachment is the key 🔑 to getting anything you want
Being self sufficient and taking care of yourself is really important. And, if a guy doesn't want to spend time or energy on me, if I detach it's for good. I mean honestly, if this is how men are a whole, I'm not interested anymore. I enjoy my peace and giving to those who give back because they love and cherish me. I don't want to play games or pretend I'm not interested in someone, it's boring and sad.
Congratulations, Ismael for reaching over 100,000 subscribers!
Thank you so much. truly appreciate the support. It’s been an incredible journey, and I’m grateful for everyone who’s been a part of it. Here's to even more growth together.
Modern dating: The games are exhausting. The expectations are disgusting. Old fashioned companionship, friendship, romance is the way to go.
Absolutely brilliant! This should be one of those mandatory videos to watch for all women 🙏🏻❣️🙏🏻🙌🙌
Thank you for the kind words. I'm glad you found it valuable. It's important to share insights that can empower everyone, and I appreciate your support.
This was the God send video - I’ve been trying to find something real and practical
I actually felt a lift once o understood this - I’ve been wanting to detach
Ismaël you are simply smart, irradiate good energy and share with us useful, instructive and very important videos. Big thank you.
points
We should do our part
We should know our self worth
We should be complete within ourselves
Since I detached so much I feel like the men just give up? Or could it be that the dating pool is so little when u got high standards and you don’t chase
A guy who is trully interested in you, won't let the connection wither away.
You are super wise with such a big heart. I always appreciate your words of wisdom and the examples you give. Thank you for just being you.
That's very sweet of you. Thank you for the kind words.
oh God the first minute - coming from a date (yesterday) where the man was love-bombing to the point that i still feel suffocated today. It's horrible to not get enough space. Flight instinct
Narcissistic
Stalker next.
Men are so complicated 😢
In contact with a person i met online for some months now and been in an emotional turmoil ever since,I so like him but so tired of the uncertainty.
Be careful. Probably talking to others
Ismael, that was the best video I have ever seen on detachment. I truly understand it now and will put your tips to use as I focus on my inputs!! Fantastic, Ty 😊
Thank you so much. Wishing you all the best as you put those tips into practice.
Gracias Ismael por tus enseñanzas; por cierto me encanta ese guiño de ojo final.👍
I finally figured out how to do this. He actually respected me enough to tell me he is still there but he explained to me a method to understand how to stop "obsessing" over what others think about me, obsessing over rejection that is or isn't there.
God Bless people like him and the guy in this video. I sincerely wish to God someone taught me these things. Any way I can make myself healthier on any level is the way I want to go in life. I'm 44 and I am forever a life-learner.
That’s amazing-learning to let go of others’ opinions and focus on your own growth is so powerful.
Yayyy congratulations 🎊 I’m so happy for you I’ve been a subscriber since about 40k so nice to see the growth ❤❤❤
Thank you so much. I really appreciate your support from the beginning. It’s been an incredible journey, and I’m grateful to have you along for the ride.
woah. you reached over 100k so fast. i remember being here when you had 7,000 subscribers; and that was only four months ago. everything’s just working out in your favor, huh?😅 happy to see ur success. keep it going.
As always, another wonderful video dropped by you ❤
Can you please make a video on how to deal with male ego?
I suppose women more or less have encountered it at some point of their life.
I’m a Capricorn I can detached myself so easily most times of the time til the point I forget the person name or don’t remember much about them
Ismael, I am so happy to have a subscription to this channel. Not only you have such a comforting voice - yeah, those vocal coachings DID pay off! - but you put YOURSELF and your life stories in the videos. I really enjoyed your examples of how this laws of detachmet worked for you. And I have a little follow-up question: you speak a lot about how multitasking is bad. I know that, I've heard that it just fills you up with too much adrenaline and gives you more drama in your life. But ... I am a working mom and if I didn't multitask, I probably wouldn't get anything done ... Do you by any chance have an advice on that..? Otherwise, keep making excellent videos! Love from Slovenia, Europe.
I take this as a win win 🏆
I would like to share some words from the book Fidelity - How to create a loving relationship that lasts by Thich Nhat Hanh:
When we love someone, we should look deeply into the nature of that love. True love doesn't contain suffering or attachment. It brings well-being to ourselves and others. True love is generated from within. With true love, you feel complete in yourself; you don't need something from outside. True love is like the sun, shining with its own light, and offering that light to everyone.
100% my favourite coach
My client recently said today “men actually like the silent treatment gives us space to do what ever we want.” Appreciation comes in balance with and without
That is called taking your spouse for granted stay single.
@ I dunno I feel that sometimes space of deffo needed, and negative feelings do take time to simmer down ya knoe
As a relationships coach you should know that its not about women chasing men. Its about women CHOOSING and being attracted to men who needs to be chased. Because when those same women are around men who are present - they dont need to chase them, and they become secure. The solution is not to stop chasing some man. The solution is to start paying attention to a different type of men, which will feel uncomfortable at first, but with time, inner work, and awareness it will be possible to shift your focus on men who dont need to be chased. I promise you.
Ouch it hurts to learn this, this "late" in my life. Going to mourn now lol Thank you for your insight! Much appreciated and that makes sense.
Ola Ismael. Lovely learning from you. You are truly a blessing for us. THANK YOU 🌹SO MUCH 😇🤴💐
You hit the nail on the head with everything you said in this video, even though it's taken me years to figure most of this out. But you're right about other videos out there on this topic that are not correct or clear. Because just not calling back or responding is not right (basically playing games) it's what you said on how to be and think is right. It just makes sense, thank you for that! I mean when I was in my twenties it was a no brainer because I had so many suitors interested in me, the one guy didn't act right for awhile so I gave someone else a chance. But that person died years ago, so now I'm in my fifties and don't go out anymore because things and times have changed. (sorry this is so long, this is my first time checking out your channel) I never knew any Cubans because of where I live in the Midwest of America, we have Mexican and Puerto Ricans that I know of. But you have my respect and admiration. May God bless you and protect you for trying to help people.
Extremely disinterested in people who detaches. No thanks. Need crystal clear simple energy. No mind games!
Congratulations! on your Play button from RUclips. You are helping with so much good information. Could you please suggest any books on these topics?
A really good advisor i have came across. Ismael you are doing a great job keep it going man. Cheers.
Hey I was hoping you could post a video on what happens after a guy leaves a relationship with you after an ugly fight ...and what are the possibilities we can expect while moving on.
Me encantó tu video😍, gracias por compartir este tipo de información y presentarla de forma clara y al mismos tiempo amable y crecana. También soy cubana y entiendo muy bien cuando mencionaste lo de correr detrás de lo que necesitas, no alcanzarlo y la sensación de frustración que trae consigo; lo mismo aplica en las relaciones, ahora lo comprendo. The 'Quick Tip' quote "People who avoid their own feelings, WILL neglect yours" really resonated with me.
You explained that very well, now I get it, Thank you
I've seen your videos before, but this one was _incredibly_ impactful!
Thank You ❤!
I must say your channel is one of the best out there, you have helped me alot with yiur advice ❤
Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad to hear that my advice has been helpful to you.
Men want detachment , congrats you got it ! Enjoy the gift of my absence
Best explanation yet on detachment, thank you Ismael. Laterally applying this advice to all situations and all relationships...Exactly what I needed before a big banquet dinner tonight! Ladies, subscribe to this channel and make sure you click on the bell. Uncertainty triggers fear of rejection. Fear (that is not about physical safety) is always caused by lies we believe,...meaning that your fear is the signal that what you believe is false or assumption and if you try to prevent what you are afraid of, you will make the wrong decisions and create the self-fulfilling prophecy of what you didn't want to happen. Congratulations on your achievements Ismael by making our world a better place through helping all women!
The challenging part is when you carry complex trauma and/or are turning 40 and still haven't found that special partner to buy a house with or father to your child, then you start getting quite stressed about finding him.
Basically, let go of your attachment to wanting these outcomes, and these outcomes will come to you. Focus on yourself and being the type of person _you_ would want to be with. Try to heal what you can and learn to love yourself above anyone else. This will attract the right kind of people who will want to be in your orbit.
It's a journey. It takes time.
That! Becoming the best version of yourself in all ways you can create.
Great video. Thank you for sharing. Love your channel. Sending Love and Good Energy to you and all the beautiful souls out there ❤️💥🩵💥💜💥💙💥
Thank you for your wonderful message. I truly appreciate your support and positive energy. It means a lot to me and everyone in our community. Sending love and good vibes back to you.
Im as detached as they come. Men have always complained how "aloof" i am or "guarded" my favorite is " you're hard to read" when I'm just not emotional woman or emotionally needy. I am very independent. So for me , men have not liked these characteristics.
I didn't want to like this video based on the description of it but.... it's sollid advice. ugh. Thank you. I'm saving this to remind myself. Often.
Thank you Ismael, always brilliant explanations 💙🇨🇺
I enjoy hearing you speak... your voice makes me sleepy it's so soothing. Addicted to this page now
Thank you for the compliment. I'm glad my voice has a soothing effect and that you enjoy the content.
Congratulations, and thanks!
Congratulations on your RUclips award! It’s very well deserved. Keep up the good work!
Congratulations Ismael😊🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉for reaching such an awesome 100K subscribers. I wish you all the best. And thank you as always for your insightful video. This was very interesting and helpful. My relationship with my ex husband made me feel very insecure and has left me with scars that I need to work on every day for my new relationship to work. Your video makes things clear on how to be detached in a secure way and without any mind games.
But we’ll throw you men in the friend zone. Knowing we want nothing more than friendship. And we’ll talk your ear off about our latest love interests. 😊
Oh my gosh. This makes so much sense. I have not heard it explained this way before and it makes more sense now 😊
I'm glad to hear that. It’s great when a new perspective clicks and makes things clearer. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Spot on .. one of your best videos .. thank you 🙏 ❤
you're the best..ur texting mistake wali video was literally amezing...luv ya ismael
Ooh I’m glad I came upon your channel!
I am 50+ and enjoy your videos. Some tips are refreshers and some are new. As I work on my, I am taking notes 🙏🏽
Thank you for your support. I’m glad the videos resonate with you, and it’s great to hear you’re finding value in both the new tips and the refreshers.
Hi, thanks for the tips. I’m a person that stands back and let’s the guy do the approaching but the pushy ones come forward and the one that doesn’t approach usually are the keepers but well they don’t approach me. They just smile. I just let things be natural, never forcing it.
Thanks for sharing your experience. It sounds like you have a great approach to dating by letting things flow naturally. Sometimes the best connections come from patience and allowing the right person to make the first move. It’s all about finding that balance and trusting the process.
@@SaveTheMessenger 👍🏻thanks for sharing your thoughts. I’ll keep watching your videos. It’s nice to get a man’s point of view.
So ecstatic for you reaching 100K plus subscribers. My very first comment ever was how don't you already have 1 mil subs. Looking forward to you reaching that milestone. As always another insightful video . I appreciate you.
Believe it or not, I remember your username. You're a gem. Thanks for sticking around.
Best coach ever..from 🇱🇰 srilanka
I definitely go cold and don’t text thinking oh, I’m giving him space, I am detaching. Then I say well he’s not texting me so it wasn’t meant to be. I think I forget to do part one and try to make a relationship work. I just go to step two of moving on from something that didn’t seem like it was working.
this video is an eye opener... thank you so much... you don't know how much you've changed my perceptive ❤ love from India
Congratulations 🎉 and as always straightforward good advice unlike others going around in circles and confusing us even more.. Thank you love ur advice ❤
I'm in my 40s, a psych student & have decades of experience. I've heard many coaches, I've dealt with being in a variety of loving and toxic relationships. You are hands down one of the best channels & one of few people I can listen to that teaches me something new. You also speak very concise & yet also explain very well without rambling. You seem young, but are wise beyond your years. I have no doubt you're gonna make it to a mil subs on this channel 🤍
Thank you so much for the kind words. It means a lot to hear that my content resonates with someone who has so much experience. I appreciate your support and belief in the channel.
Congratulations Ismael, I always appreciate your videos. Thank you!
Thank you so much, I really appreciate your support.
Hie Ismael...Sanya this side from India
Your video really helped me. Thanks a ton!!❤❤
Keeping making videos like these
Hi, men always chase me n women r jealous of me. However,when i accepted a man into my life, i will start to get bored of men n i will do n say things to make them hate me (sabotaging the relationship). On many occasions, i wished to be in a relationship with a few of those men, but when they show interest n started to commit n kept calling me a few times a day, i started to get bored n wished that they didnt communicate with me that often. Also i do not understand how falling in love feels like. I dont think i fell in love. Maybe i just like the relationship. I said i love u to them but i dont feel it. Can u explain on that.
I think you just have trauma in the past or afraid to open your heart even you love them too but your trauma Holds u then make u like you are never in love just because you have feeling afraid of being hurted
Great advice. Congratulations on your RUclips plaque dear😊
Congratulations! Hope you hit 1,000,000 soon!
I prefer the approach of self improvement, so I really appreciated this video. And while I believe it's beneficial to understand some of the current dating trends or even some of the basic psychological differences between men and women, I don't think happiness comes from another person. So this approach of 'improve the self, the rest will follow' deeply resonates. Thank you
I'm glad you found it insightful, Adrienne. It’s all about focusing on what we can control. Thanks for watching.