If you're struggling to make a big decision, WATCH THIS.
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- Опубликовано: 5 июл 2024
- I believe that you should always use your heart and soul as the basis of your decisions because that’s how you align what you’re doing with your values.
Use your brain to look at the fine print and to weigh the options but when it comes to the actual “feel” of the decision, you always want to turn inward and check it against the feeling in your gut.
Wondering how to do that? Watch this video to find out ❤️
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I made the decisions, have started the process, and now am feeling the fear. still going ahead though. A New Beginning.
How are you now - a year out?
Yes update us !!! ❤
Great Clip, As someone with chronic anxiety, I often get decision paralysis, and in particular - any decisions that involve people pleasing or have an emotional component. When every option feels terrible, and it seems like a much, much bigger deal than it really is or that it does to anyone else it's debilitating and NOT making decisions like that causes a lot of problems. I'm looking for better tools for managing these situations ad this is helpful.
Your comment changed the perspective I have of myself, I have always felt that way but had no words to call it out - thank you!
Check out Naval Ravikant and Tim Ferris. They have some good quick help on exactly this. Usually if you are truly unsure about a decision the answer is no and you are probably scared to not please the person involved and it will be best for you to flex that no muscle.
Forget the 20minute Ted Talks on decision making. THIS is it! thank you
I absolutely love this. "Live in what's true for you, not what's safe in the moment"
I spent an entire week absolutely shredding my brain thinking about the decision I had to make and you have the nerve to swoop in here and give me, not the answer, but a way to decide, in only 2 minutes??? Wow. Thank you so so much. I know what to do now! :)
How did it work out
I’m in the middle of one myself. A job that is unfulfilling and being stressed every day. Being stressed to start my work day. Good pay but it is with me every day and waking hour.
I decided a few months ago to retire early from my job. Good pay etc, but “my life “ is more important. It will be financially tight for a couple of years but I’m so excited for whatever is ahead. I know it’s the best decision for me !
Have a backup plan
@@stylestory1000 Sometimes its not possible. I have already put out feelers with previous coworkers and may be able to go back to a previous position which was less pay but much less stressful. Meanwhile I brush up my design skills again and try to learn more on UX design and see if that is a career path. I am thankful to have a job where my housing is secured so only need to worry for money for expenses but my wife works so we will be tight but not in financial trouble. Who knows, maybe this is the turning point I need to make a different career path.
@@brandondelgado7731 that is the plan. Wish you the very best.
Have had a few of those moments. I usually get clarity when I remove money from the equation.
I so needed this video today. I just quit a job that was toxic and it made me realize that I don’t want to spend the rest of my working years putting up with bullshit for a paycheck. I’m trying to decide whether I should sell my house (which has significant equity) and downsize my life so I can work less and enjoy life more. I know it’s what my heart and soul wants, but my head keeps bringing up doubt about whether it’s a smart decision.
What decision did you end up making? I hope it all worked out, I agree about not working in jobs we hate, it's important to find a balance so we can support ourselves whilst feeling at peace with our work.
@@katec9893 I found a new job that I like. My co-workers are great! I’m staying in my house for now because it’s just not the right time to sell.
@@Mindyhartwick That's great about your new job, congrats and thanks for the update, it's always interesting to hear what people decided to do in the end.
It is like Mell reads my mind. Whenever i am struggling with something and she pops out with a solution! Thanka Mel!
I knoww
Thank you for this.. I seldom seek advice but am going through a really hard time in a relationship with children involved. I’ve been putting everyone else’s needs before my happiness for long time and I know I need a change. I’ve been making the mistake of looking outward and it’s made me focus on everyone else’s judgment rather that following my heart. My brain has convinced me the world is watching but it’s really not.. nobody cares. That false fear & self deception is enough to make the strongest person lock up in anxiety. So yes, thank you for your guidance. I refuse to look back in 30 years with regrets and sadness. It’s time to live!
WE DON'T KNOW WHAT TOMORROW WILL BRING. SO DON'T STAY ANGRY FOR TOO LONG LEARN TO FORGIVE AND LOVE WITH ALL OF YOUR HEART.DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO DONT LIKE YOU. ENJOY THE ONES WHO LOVE YOU. 💕❤🌻
I feel that I am hitting rock bottom today coz I made a major life decision yesterday. I woke up doubting my decision and planning to retract it. I feel so low like the world ended, but this video, you, are a saviour. Thank you for people like you. I feel better about my decision now.
This video feels like a life saver for me 🙏🏻❤Everything that was said in this video was exactly what I needed to hear and I couldn’t be more thankful for it
Mel, you are giving me a sign in this video. I am already in a dilemma on making a big decision that could possibly change my career. Thank you.
Thanks a million, for uploading this video at the right time. This is a God sent message at this time of depression for me, strengthening me more for my decesion taken in life. God bless you !!
The heart always. Silence the mind & our soul will speak to us. It’s knows before we do. Great video!! 😍
Good decesion making and when it's going to affect your long term health and happiness your heart is the way to go. If you are not happy what you are doing it will not benefit you in the long haul. This is helpful Mel!
I was actually in a confusion for my current decision.. not only now but everytime I feel the same . But now I’ve got a clear idea 💡. Thanks for your words 👍😊
I absolutely love you Mel. You're such a beautiful and intelligent person.
先輩、ありがとうございます! This is genuinely just what I needed. I can’t express my gratitude enough.
Ok I'm blown away. Most important 2 minutes I've ever heard in my life!
More impactful insight in 2 minutes than some can manage from an hour
Just saying 🙏
Thank you ❤🙏
A brandnew approach to decision-making! A new dimension! Instead of listing pros and cons, putting the best question: does it expand/improve me? I stumbled upon your video the very best time, just while hesitating. And you give the perfect answer! Thanks a lot for your great work!
IIdiko T. Molnar,your pretty smile can make the news
Thank you soo much Mel. I need this badly😭😭😭
Follow your heart but take your brain with you 🙂 Thanks Mel!
I feel like crying! I have been struggling to make a super big decision! Your point is excellent! Does this decision expand you?
What does she mean by “expand you”?
@@the_boss2194make progress in your life,,,
Hey missrelaxed u can tell which decision your are stucked for,,
Brilliant! It's like training your brain to read what your heart wants!
You have posted this topic before mel. Still good topic to ask and I have used this to make a decision to leave the military and it was the absolute best decision I ever made. Thank you mel for posting
You can also always change course.
Absolutely love this one.. i recently realize that theres literally ENDLESS choices to make everyday, and the best answer is the highest one.
Cheers.
Thanks Mel Love Ya Hang in there we are Brave Sisters
I so needed this. Thanks, Mel. I will not silence me or my creativity despite the anxiety and fear trying to keep me small and safe. Courage to everyone here.❤
Agree 100% thinking safe/small not good for growth, so true. Love it❤
This is something which I was looking for. Thank you for guiding us!!
I’ve been thinking about a huge decision the past few days and my mind was spiraling with possibilities and a huge list of pros and cons. But this single short video helped me clarify what decision was right for me immediately. This is such beautiful and amazing advice. Even if the “safe” way may seem more logical, if it ‘shrinks’ you then it’s not worth it. I may have to write down some notes on this and hang it up so I remember ❤ thank you so much!
But what she mean by all of that? That it “shrinks” me or “silences” me? Give me some examples please?
@@the_boss2194 hmm I guess like when you’re in a big room of people and you feel alone, or when you feel like something is holding you back from your potential. That feeling of smallness and lack of control. Something that makes you feel not so great about yourself, and maybe kinda lonely. For me, the decision that would have “shrunk me” would be living with my parents. Because I know that being there would make me feel like my autonomy as an adult would be taken away and I would be “shrunk down” to feel like a child again. My potential for growth for be hindered, so even though that’s a safe choice, it’s not one that I want.
How can it possibly be so precisely perfect for my problem? Thank you so much
Thank you! You helped me to know for sure that I made the right decision. 🌸
Wow, this is THE BEST decision-making process ever! Took me a minute to decide. Very grateful! Thank you!
I so needed to hear this message. Thank you
Needed this!
Thank you
My heart in both places and expanding in both , just different parts of expanding !!
This advice was surprisingly helpful. Thank you!
Thank you!! I hope you had a fantastic birthday 🎂
This helped so much I’m trying to make a decision on what school I’m gonna go two and have been losing my sanity over the decision. But now I know what to do and feel happy about my decision and excited for my future ❤❤❤
That was amazing advice and really what I needed to hear in such a short few minutes. Thank you so much!
Wise words... thank you!
Mel...I just made a decision yesterday. It was difficult to understand but now I feel much better. (I made it!..)..and so I can be my Better Version... Thank you soo much!...🙌💐
I truely agree Mel.
I needed this. Thank you so much!
Thank you for this. Gonna make the call now
This was one of the best vdos i saw on decision making.msny of us think short term and not long term..but it did help me in making a decision wjich i was very confused about if i shud do it or not....thanks Mel
Thank you Mel
As I face leaving my spouse and moving away, thank you - I needed this.
Wow, thank you so much for this❤
I needed this message for my career pivot!
Thank you Mel. I love you..
Wonderful and Helpful. Like an answered prayer for me. I will check in with this criteria to make my decision. : )
Amethyst TheScientist,Hope you are with a good man cause you are pretty!
Thank you for this Mel gave me alot of perspective
Agree wholeheartedly but my heart based option is terrifying to me. Yikes!
Kinda same here :
Fear is the enemy!
Love and healing light to all!
Both my options are slightly terrifying !!!
Go for ot. Yall got this!🤩
Everything you wanted is on the other side of fear. You have to “push” yourself to feel the fear and do it anyway
The future is a fantasy.
The past is memory.
The present is now.
I've watched this twice in one hour. And I don't know about using my heart but actually the questions you propose are very logical, big risk vs staying silenced and shrunken. The risk of big time fail and difficulty is always preferable to me than shrinking and ever be silenced again. I spent 27 years of my life being agreeable and understanding and shrinkin and despite it all one day a freaking psycho played a smear campaign on me and everybody turned against me. Ever since then, after I decided not to kill myself I also decided that no one would ever silence me or corner me if people were to hate me, it would for things I did and said and not for things I didn't do or say.Thanks Mel, thanks so much!
Thank you MEL
Love you in MN, Mel! :)
thank you. I needed this.
ok, going to that boxing class I wasn't sure about. I cbb but it will expand me and my future. Thanks!
Needed this video weeks ago 🙈 💜💜♥️
That answered my question, thank you. I'm Scared
Thank you that was very helpful!
Struggling between accepting an offer for a COO role at a new company or staying put in my safe current position. Thank you for the perspective
Thank you so much i am facing a big decision, but you made it simple, i know what i want i am just scared, but you made me see clearly now ,
This is amazing, thankyou
thank you for this
Love this!
Thank you 🦋
Definitely Expands possibility.
Merry 🎄 Christmas & Happy New Year....
Thank you 🙏🙏
Watching your video for the first time, made important decision of my life
oh man thank you so much
This was so helpful
right on point thank you
This is good advice, but I know from experience that the heart and soul are truly two separate entities. It's possible for something to stimulate your heart in a good way, while simultaneously impeding your soul in a bad way. Rare, but possible. What you said is very insightful tho, good video.
I made a decision using my mind and man...it was the baddest idea I ever had. My decision was mostly because I wanted to go away from my narcissistic father. Unfortunately, the woman I am staying with (because my job isn't near my home town) is quiet a narcissistic too and my employer is a absolute mess and stresses me out. I just want to give up on life.
Giving up on life is never the solution.....please keep on living and fighting.....it's never too late to start over....I'm speaking from an experience
Sarah, please don't. I've just started researching narcissism because I've had to deal that type of person also.
@@RealEstateInsider247 @sakuraotaku Thank you so much for your kind answers ❤️. I just feel like everything that could possibly go wrong is going wrong and I've waited so long to finally be able to distance myself from narcissistic people (mostly my father) but apparently I attract them. Hopefully life will get a bit easier. But your kind words are definitely a ray of sun on my day !
@@funwithsarah1586 It's interesting you say that apparently you attract them. What I learned is that Narcissist actually do prey on those who are willing to behave certain ways that feed their insecurities. I heard just one of the many ways to deal with a narcissist is to become a bore; that is don't let them get under their skin; as I remember it (not perfectly, I'm sure), for example when they are begging for attention, just respond in a ho-hum way ... and apparently they'll get tired of trying to push your buttons in that certain way.
I also learned there is a difference between Narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. That's an interesting discussion >> ruclips.net/video/IEfS-_a21kk/видео.html
Hang in there. :) :) :) There are genuine, kind-hearted folks out there too. I'm thinking in my mind, when I ever run across my next narcissist, if there are certain things I can do to discourage that behavior. Surely they must be bitterly miserable and would like not to be.
@@RealEstateInsider247 Thank you so much for all of you message : it means so much ! 🙏🏻 I'll definitely have a look at the discussion you linked ! Yes, I need to get over my insecurities, it's definitely something I'm working on. You just showed me that kind people exist :)
Great advice and very nice video 👌
Thank you 😊
Thank you
This is how I feel when I pull up to the drive through at McDonald’s
so true. love you.
Fair well said!!! I am on that journey or expansion and it’s terrifying 😟 but the possibilities are endless! All I keep telling myself... I have to try!!!
Man is like the universe brought me here to hear this.
Some decisions are scary especially when you have children but what she said is ultimately true.
GL family. Stay safe. Stay strong in the dark moments. God is everywhere
Omg thank you
Mel Mel Mel! It's so so so complicated😢
Wow this the was great!
Always some positive vibs
The problem is when you don't have answers to those questions either.... but you still have to make a decision now
Mel you are so amazing... your words really get to me...i just subscribed to your channel....i really really wish you could say something concerning my case...because right now i feel like a total weakling. Ive been dating a lady who i sacrificed so much for and later made arrangements for her to further her education abroad. She cheated on me from the very first week she travelled and i got audio records of her being f**k*d. I forgave her and after a few months, she started cheating on me with another guy again..i found out, only this time she was very rude towards me, insulted and shamed me. Then in December last year she was with yet another guy..this time though, she was ready to let me go when i found out about the relationship. In the end things didn't go as planned for her new relationship which lasted about 2 months. after a few months yet again, she came back begging. I still accepted her. Now she is misbehaving again and i strongly suspect that shes with another man again. Ive tried to forget about her but the Love i have for her is so strong. I have not cheated on her. Is the distance the cause of her continuous cheating? Is there any hope for the future with her? She doesn't want to respect me or fully commit to the relationship. She says she wants to, but i feel she keeps me as an option...pls help.....
Solid!
I miss your show so much
Thanks
Good advice
Thank you Mel. This principle is sound, it seems to me, but needs to be nuanced a bit. Between contractive and expansive there are degrees, and at time the only possible decisions before us might be only one of a degree or two in the right direction. In other words, the journey from contracted to expanded might require multiple steps over time. There is also the reality of compromise that parents have to make for the sake of their families and children.
The decision makes no difference! What you do after.... if you give everything you can, to make the decision turn out good, than everything is fine! In a Moment of joice, you only go through emotions. That has nothing to do with the decision ! And in the end, you make a snap decision! But the emotions must be! Nothing will go wrong, if you give everything in youre decision after you decide.... no mater what you decide, it will turn great!
Really like your channel Mel. I think your thought processes are great!