I Was Married To A Monster For 30 Years

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  • Опубликовано: 6 фев 2025
  • Join us in this episode as our guest Karen DeArmond Gardner recounts the time she was married to a violent husband for 30 years. Karen shares her journey and how her partner turned into a monster in front of her eyes.
    #domesticviolence #marriage #survivorstories
    Follow Karen here:
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    IG: / karendearmondgardner
    TT: / anotheronefree
    Threads: www.threads.ne...
    Website: www.AnotherOneFree.com
    Thank you for watching Unfiltered Stories! We offer a platform for our guests to speak openly about their life stories and journeys, shedding light on the challenges they faced and the resilience they've shown.
    Our mission is to raise awareness about survivors by delving into their stories, exploring the impact of their experiences, and how they've managed to heal and rebuild their lives.
    By sharing these stories, we aim to break the silence surrounding those challenging memories and create a compassionate environment.
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Комментарии • 1 тыс.

  • @Kiki-yw9kc
    @Kiki-yw9kc 8 месяцев назад +1307

    Married 23 years to my abuser but secretly planning my escape, pray for me please

    • @MicheleL-ve6bm
      @MicheleL-ve6bm 8 месяцев назад +52

      Praying for you!!

    • @lesabrydson2526
      @lesabrydson2526 8 месяцев назад +32

      Persevering in Prayers Psalms 1-150👍🇯🇲👋🤲🙏👑

    • @alicef128
      @alicef128 8 месяцев назад +37

      Praying for you!

    • @RunninQHsRock
      @RunninQHsRock 8 месяцев назад

      Delete this comment and keep your mouth shut. Good luck!

    • @DynamicAmethyst
      @DynamicAmethyst 8 месяцев назад +29

      Prayers

  • @casey4314
    @casey4314 8 месяцев назад +267

    I don’t know. I left my husband after 6 months of marriage. I was pregnant and left all my personal possessions behind. I didn’t want my daughter to witness abuse. Nothing mattered except my freedom and my daughter. 25 years later I have never married again. My last relationship proved to me that I’d rather be on my own. I’ve chosen to remain single. I’m alone but not lonely. It’s a very peaceful life. This is my story.

    • @belinalug6928
      @belinalug6928 7 месяцев назад +16

      Your story is many a woman's story, thankyou

    • @KumariKumari-fw7nc
      @KumariKumari-fw7nc 7 месяцев назад +20

      It is so very important for women to be economically independent...

    • @WellnessWiseLifestyle-eg4sk
      @WellnessWiseLifestyle-eg4sk 7 месяцев назад +9

      You are very brave

    • @mariacarmelo8958
      @mariacarmelo8958 7 месяцев назад +10

      Good for you! I grew up in an abusive household and I’ll NEVER UNDERSTAND why women stay when they don’t have to. The effect it has on kids never goes away.

    • @jacquelinem.2948
      @jacquelinem.2948 7 месяцев назад +2

  • @PARKE88
    @PARKE88 Год назад +571

    You're 70!? You're Absolutely Stunning! ❤

    • @amberdavis7243
      @amberdavis7243 Год назад +14

      Wait what??? She's 70?? No maybe 50s but dang sure ain't no 70. I was just gonna comment how pretty she is I was trying not to get distracted listening to her story.

    • @amberdavis7243
      @amberdavis7243 Год назад +16

      Ok so I double checked the video this is crazy she really is 70 wow. I would have said 55 my gosh. 😮😮😮😮

    • @lenadahn4229
      @lenadahn4229 Год назад +17

      She's gorgeous 😍

    • @amandalopez2040
      @amandalopez2040 Год назад +10

      I said the same she looks amazing

    • @Claudia-cr2pm
      @Claudia-cr2pm 11 месяцев назад +8

      I came here to say that! Her skin is not 70! She must have never gone outdoors

  • @moniques3466
    @moniques3466 Год назад +366

    Wow... I must say she looks great for 70. I thought about she was about 55.

    • @PARKE88
      @PARKE88 Год назад +9

      I'm 35. Half way to 70. I'm not aging well. She is stunning and should be proud

    • @mariposamoreno
      @mariposamoreno Год назад +4

      same

    • @felixf4378
      @felixf4378 Год назад +5

      Not just looks, the way she speaks sounds way younger.

    • @Justthefactsplez
      @Justthefactsplez 10 месяцев назад +4

      Yes she's lovely 🌹

    • @kslucki
      @kslucki 8 месяцев назад +8

      You must be very young to think this lady looks 55 :D She looks 60-65, sure. 55? no.

  • @supersonicdevin3212
    @supersonicdevin3212 Год назад +149

    He sounds like a real saddist. I am so sorry you had to go through that. You deserve a beautiful life.

  • @one-stopgodshop2171
    @one-stopgodshop2171 8 месяцев назад +285

    I'd like to bring to light that being a child of an abuser is just as difficult for many, too.

    • @mariacarmelo8958
      @mariacarmelo8958 8 месяцев назад +9

      It taught me exactly what I WASNT GOING TO HAVE IN MY LIFE. my own father showed me what my future was NEVER going to look like.

    • @milliehummer4713
      @milliehummer4713 8 месяцев назад +7

      I pray my adult daughter learns this too.

    • @laureng8624
      @laureng8624 8 месяцев назад +6

      44 and still have flashbacks.

    • @brightpage1020
      @brightpage1020 8 месяцев назад +3

      Thank you. This share is more powerful and helpful than you know - to other children growing up in abuse as well for mothers strategizing their escape.

    • @MerryWeed
      @MerryWeed 8 месяцев назад +4

      Absolutely Darlin!! I came from abuse & married abuse & left abuse. Children have no choice! You have my heart!!!

  • @nezlquasie
    @nezlquasie 8 месяцев назад +245

    I was married to an entitled brat cops kid. It took years to heal from. The abuse was death. Im alive again & escaped. Thank U God.

    • @kyla6538
      @kyla6538 8 месяцев назад +11

      Thank God you got away!

    • @Dorothy4Justice
      @Dorothy4Justice 8 месяцев назад +4

      Same here. His dad was a detective.

    • @annmarieknapp
      @annmarieknapp 7 месяцев назад

      Grateful you got away. These abusers are monsters.

    • @annmarieknapp
      @annmarieknapp 7 месяцев назад

      Grateful you got away. These abusers are monsters.

    • @annmarieknapp
      @annmarieknapp 7 месяцев назад +1

      Grateful you got away. These abusers are monsters.

  • @geraldstamour1312
    @geraldstamour1312 10 месяцев назад +81

    I give Karen DeArmond Gardner all the credit in the world for her courage in exposing the evil that she experienced!

  • @mmcdonald1000
    @mmcdonald1000 11 месяцев назад +75

    You look fabulous for age 70. I'm so glad you got out of that toxic marriage and now you're rebuilding a life for yourself. You go girl 👍

  • @siantelove
    @siantelove Год назад +109

    I'm only 3 mins in & im already in tears at the cruelty. I'm so sorry this happened to you😢 Psychological cruelty is so hard because the scars aren't visible.

  • @BrendaEaster-c8k
    @BrendaEaster-c8k 8 месяцев назад +155

    The babysitter for my handicapped daughter took this type of abuse from her husband for the better part of 35 years. He, too, would lock her out of the house, he expected to take care of HIS grandchildren, children of an incarcerated mother and deadbeat. Kelly was in constant misery. She died a couple of years ago. That angel of a woman died from cancer, but her death was slow. This should not happen to women!!

    • @danamama6766
      @danamama6766 8 месяцев назад +5

      :(

    • @sensimania
      @sensimania 8 месяцев назад +14

      He probably caused the big C as well. Long periods of stress can cause all kinds of havoc to the body, including inflammation, which could eventually lead to autoimmune diseases and cancer 😢

    • @Darr-vp4um
      @Darr-vp4um 8 месяцев назад +4

      Bawlin my eyes out, she deserved so much better. Oh God l can't stop crying for her 😢

    • @annmarieknapp
      @annmarieknapp 7 месяцев назад

      I'm so sorry to hear this. Awful.

    • @jennybyrne38
      @jennybyrne38 7 месяцев назад +1

      Oh my so so sad I hope she's resting in peace now 😢😢

  • @pearlmcilroy8621
    @pearlmcilroy8621 8 месяцев назад +57

    Leaving is hard, but staying is harder.

  • @sophia4christ
    @sophia4christ 8 месяцев назад +160

    May all women in abusive relationships get the strength to leave. I pray for complete healing and restoration in all areas of your lives. 🙏🏽

    • @JuliaJones-jl9nd
      @JuliaJones-jl9nd 8 месяцев назад +4

      You sound like a wonderful and caring person. God Bless You.

    • @lynette599
      @lynette599 7 месяцев назад

      What about MEN in abusive relationships?

    • @azzurrawise123
      @azzurrawise123 12 дней назад

      Amen THANK YOU 🙏🕊️❤️☺️👍🏻

  • @GeriRogers
    @GeriRogers 8 месяцев назад +160

    Can't believe what I am hearing! I lived with this horror for 50 years. I feel like such a stupid idiot. I identify with all of this. It can destroy you in so many ways. I was 70 years old when I finally left. Threatened to kill me me many times. Such a sad life. I wish could talk to you. Everything you're saying is what I lived. Thank you for sharing and this video! ❤❤❤❤

    • @Charlotte-zj8rq
      @Charlotte-zj8rq 8 месяцев назад +9

      Me too. I got out after 10. Proud of you.

    • @aprilmay11111
      @aprilmay11111 8 месяцев назад +8

      Your very lucky you got out, thank God you did. ✨🙏

    • @js78-jxby
      @js78-jxby 8 месяцев назад +10

      You were not a stupid idiot, you were trusting😢😢

    • @CarolShook-yg9nn
      @CarolShook-yg9nn 8 месяцев назад

      You were not stupid people don't understand the pattern of an abuser they actually brainwash you that's part of their control

    • @nickiabbott5060
      @nickiabbott5060 8 месяцев назад +4

      Yes, I realized I had to forgive my (idiot) self before I could feel healed. I am so not yet healed. 🙏🏼

  • @joyce7892
    @joyce7892 8 месяцев назад +48

    AMEN! Been in the same place. Also 70. Divorced 8 years now and I thought I had to stay because God didn't like it. It was all a secret. I'm always working on the healing.

  • @stephaniepugh4963
    @stephaniepugh4963 Год назад +39

    I'm so proud of you for leaving! This brought up so many bad memories for me hearing your story. But I'm so greatful I finally left. 8 years of abuse felt like an entire lifetime. I'm so happy now, I still get flashbacks often and it's been 5 years ago. My hope for anyone who is being abused is that they figure out they are absolutely worth more. Please make a plan and leave. No one deserves being abused. Thanks for sharing your story!❤

  • @audreymcleod4076
    @audreymcleod4076 8 месяцев назад +92

    Do not tell him that you are leaving , just act normal and have a plan, sending love to you!

    • @pluton1263
      @pluton1263 8 месяцев назад +1

      I agree! Some damaged people love to see reactions for validation. Very sad.

    • @hannakarpf4955
      @hannakarpf4955 7 месяцев назад

      absolutely so. I learned this the hard way. thought we would discuss the issue of leaving him and staying amicable, as in an amicable divorce. little did I know then, that I would be punished emotionally in the most hostile and evil way. his endeavours to assassinate my character in the eyes of our children and whoever else has become more pronounced. eventually, we both got public housing separately and I am experiencing a kind of post-traumatic stress at times, still, I cherish my freedom, hopefully aging backwards as one described her experience, which you can see if you scroll back.

    • @taisha9143
      @taisha9143 7 месяцев назад

      Well said

  • @anneroarty6473
    @anneroarty6473 8 месяцев назад +90

    I walked away after 45years of marriage. Two years after marriage when we had our twin daughters he became a monster because he was not getting the love he expected after the children was born. Evil evi and evil.

    • @mariacarmelo8958
      @mariacarmelo8958 7 месяцев назад +2

      So you put your daughters through a life in an abusive home? SHAME ON YOU! Unless you live in a third world country, you have zero excuse for staying and letting your daughter witness an abusive husband and father. I grew up in an abusive home too and I clearly remember one night while my “dad” was beating the sh*t out of my step mother, thinking to myself “no way in hell will I ever stay with a man that hits me.” Lo and behold! I married an abuser! I made a plan and took my 2 YO and got the hell out of there and NEVER LOOKED BACK. No child should have to line like that.

    • @nicoletalmadge7276
      @nicoletalmadge7276 7 месяцев назад +3

      How dare you throw Shame on her!

    • @Her.Serene.Feline.Cuteness.
      @Her.Serene.Feline.Cuteness. 7 месяцев назад +2

      @@mariacarmelo8958 Proud of you. My mother not only stayed in a marriage where both of us were emotionally abused but she stayed married until the day he died because she wanted to get everything in the will. Then she turned her attention not to working on her broken relationship with me her daughter but on finding herself a new husband. My father was almost 80 when he died and my mother took off and remarried 5 years later.

  • @GODissgood7
    @GODissgood7 8 месяцев назад +86

    I have goose bumps. I love how she acknowledges how God love us more than he hates divorce. I can’t imagine how horrible her life was during that time. May God continue to bless you and guide you to help other women

    • @lindaodham1490
      @lindaodham1490 7 месяцев назад +4

      Thank you for this! You have helped many women!

    • @taisha9143
      @taisha9143 7 месяцев назад +1

      Well I'm learning that now I used to think God don't like divorce so I stayed. Just got my divorce it took 3yrs cause I couldn't afford a lawyer

    • @GODissgood7
      @GODissgood7 7 месяцев назад

      @@taisha9143congratulations.. sending you hugs ❤

  • @Sharnecau
    @Sharnecau 8 месяцев назад +72

    Its the forgiveness for yourself that's the hardest in healing

    • @shaeholden1743
      @shaeholden1743 8 месяцев назад +2

      Yes, you're right! I have to remind myself that I simply didn't know what was happening...that I was in the clutches of the son of Satan.

  • @ShiningBrightlyEachDay
    @ShiningBrightlyEachDay 8 месяцев назад +57

    I divorced the person who became abusive on year 22 out of 25 of being together. His behavior shocked the hell out of me. Looking back there were subtle digs that I used to ignore. The moment when someone puts their hands on another is the time to leave and never look back. My life also started over at age 50!!! Stay strong 💪

  • @aprilfortson4155
    @aprilfortson4155 8 месяцев назад +72

    I've been divorced for 15 years, he divorced me, and every day I still realize just how much he did abuse me. Emotionally and financially. I felt like I was nothing! There are still trigger for me to this day.

    • @milliehummer4713
      @milliehummer4713 8 месяцев назад +4

      I get it. Sometimes God provides your salvation by your abuser leaving you. Best thing to ever happen to me and going completely no contact.

    • @michellelittle9184
      @michellelittle9184 8 месяцев назад +3

      So glad you’re enjoying your life now. I endured very similar abuse for 17yrs. They make sure you lose every bit of confidence in yourself, until you’re at your absolute lowest. You only realise once you get out, that you are none of the things they told you.
      Be happy & thrive!

    • @Kristy_not_Kristine
      @Kristy_not_Kristine 6 месяцев назад

      Same. I was divorced 15 years, too. Remarried when my girls were 15, 16, and 17.

  • @jackilynpyzocha662
    @jackilynpyzocha662 8 месяцев назад +108

    My mom says "Better alone than with a jackass!" She described Dad perfectly!

    • @DeeLee-p8c
      @DeeLee-p8c 7 месяцев назад

      Both my parents are jackasses😮

  • @janeoxley4829
    @janeoxley4829 8 месяцев назад +37

    I had exactly the same marriage with my ex husband, moving far away from my family, verbal abuse, yes not been allowed to drive, ignoring me when he came into the house, would not allow me to visit my family, was married 14 years and it was enough.

  • @erikakraatz6108
    @erikakraatz6108 8 месяцев назад +34

    You are so courageous. I've also been in a 33 year awful marriage. I wish I left years ago. I also made excuses. We separated at the beginning of the pandemic, but he's not divorcing me. A control freak still trying to mess up my life. Your testimony has encouraged me. Thank you

  • @madelinem3216
    @madelinem3216 8 месяцев назад +37

    I know what you are going thru. I also secretly planned my escape. It was terrifying but once I left I became strong and stronger. BEST decision I ever made.

  • @Silenceisgolden-o9o
    @Silenceisgolden-o9o 8 месяцев назад +65

    I understand your pain. I’m glad you’re away from that evil thing. I am getting ready after 4 decades.

    • @joanhenschel3511
      @joanhenschel3511 8 месяцев назад +2

      Stand strong, Sweetie. There is LIFE after divorce! I'm living proof of that. To me the most important thing is to work on healing as soon as you can. This sets you so free. The Lord bless you and keep you 🙏

    • @beatriceconner6953
      @beatriceconner6953 8 месяцев назад

      disgusting ...man..

  • @dughmanhabiba9373
    @dughmanhabiba9373 Год назад +53

    I cried when I listened to your story. You're a beautiful soul woman 😢

  • @Theowlhawk
    @Theowlhawk 8 месяцев назад +76

    My mother accidentally broken an ash tray, my dad beat my mother up the stairs with his belt, and locked her in the bedroom.
    He came back down, and shouted at my brother and i to shut up, stop crying or hed give us something ti cry about.
    We both went numb, from that day on, never showing emotion, everytime he was violent, i was 2 and ahalf, my brother was one and a half. Later in lufe my brother took his own life

    • @OliviaClark8787
      @OliviaClark8787 8 месяцев назад +7

      He literally killed 😢

    • @petronellakayanan5160
      @petronellakayanan5160 8 месяцев назад +4

      😭😭😭

    • @Kiwi-Genx
      @Kiwi-Genx 8 месяцев назад +9

      Oh my word. I’m so sorry for your loss. I really hope and pray that you are healing the best way you can may I ask happened to your mom did she get away?

    • @sandracrandall4561
      @sandracrandall4561 8 месяцев назад +4

      The Owl Hawk....Blessings to You FOREVER...live well & Love inspite of what you lived thru. You are Worthy. You are valuable ...You are the Daughter of the Most High God. Believe it! So sorry about the previous Brother. RIP Son🙏💕

    • @strawberryshortcake8382
      @strawberryshortcake8382 8 месяцев назад +5

      I’m so sorry to hear what you, your mom and brother went through. I pray your brother is at peace.
      Your father will pay when he meets his maker. Don’t worry about that.

  • @DanielleRubi90
    @DanielleRubi90 Год назад +27

    He sounds like my ex bf.. he was such a narcissist 😣 thank u for telling us your story.. your brave and soo beautiful ❤

  • @xerxezrax
    @xerxezrax Год назад +26

    You are incredibly strong, brave, and beautiful. I am so happy you rescued yourself from torture. I hope you continue to have a wonderful life.

  • @sonofhibbs4425
    @sonofhibbs4425 8 месяцев назад +61

    ‘’Abuse deforms what we know about God.’’ Profound words.

    • @marydubrick5565
      @marydubrick5565 8 месяцев назад

      That so resonates!

    • @dsmusicbird
      @dsmusicbird 7 месяцев назад +1

      This is exactly what I’ve been struggling with lately. I feel like Gods mad at me or disappointed in me, for being angry at him, angry at everything. Not knowing what to do!
      I feel like I disconnected from myself, my kids and God, and I’m trying to figure out how to pull myself back together. Just a few days ago I found out that I’ve got these health problems. I feel like, yelling at God, Why!? Why do you think I can take even more!!???
      But I don’t want to be angry or feel angry, it is miserable.
      Yesterday I was so overwhelmed and depressed with ever, I literally, slept most the day and night and took a nap today. I NEVER sleep that long. I’m feeling a little better, but I’m still so worried.
      When I’m at my wits end I turn to God/Jesus. Now I’m too angry too. But, I did pray last night and I still feel distant.
      Any good advice!?

    • @dtmontoy
      @dtmontoy 7 месяцев назад

      ​@@dsmusicbird puedes seguir acercándote a Dios, a Jesucristo. Yo también viví muchos años en una familia con padre psicópata integrado y hermanos narcisistas, tengo estrés post tramático, me estoy recuperando poco a poco. Los primeros años sentía lo que tú sientes, sentía mucha cólera y le reclamaba todo a Dios, lo culpaba de mi dolor. Yo te entiendo. Sin embargo, acercarme a Dios me ha ayudado a sanar mis heridas emocionales. Yo veo muchos videos cristianos en RUclips y sigo canales de pastores cristianos que hablan en español, pero sé que en inglés hay pastores que pueden guiarte. Recuerdo en este instante uno que se llama Vlad Savchuk, es ucraniano y tiene prédicas en inglés. Yo oro por ti y te abrazo a la distancia, superaras el dolor como yo lo estoy logrando. Dios te acompaña, El te restaure y te bendiga con su amor incondicional y eterno.

    • @eringrey9297
      @eringrey9297 7 месяцев назад +1

      My pastor recently said something during a sermon. After almost 42 years HOW he said “it wasn’t your fault” finally sunk in. He said “some of you have been abused but it wasn’t your fault. Someone committed a sin AGAINST you….” I never viewed it like that. I spent my life wondering why God hated me. Flipping it around and knowing that it really wasn’t my fault - it was a sin committed against me. God never hated me. Always loved. Romans 8:38

    • @eringrey9297
      @eringrey9297 7 месяцев назад +1

      @@dsmusicbirdI responded to you above but forgot to “reply to you” ❤

  • @mikuondrugs
    @mikuondrugs Год назад +57

    Am so proud of you. For walking away from that abusive situation.

  • @janstetler9888
    @janstetler9888 8 месяцев назад +21

    I just ordered your book. I was in an abusive marriage, to a pastor for 50 year. It was so hard to leave, one year ago at the age of 72. It wasn't physical abuse, but as damaging! Learning to trust again is so hard. Thanks for sharing your story.

    • @Christine-j7b
      @Christine-j7b 7 месяцев назад

      Are you still able to trust Jesus?

    • @evapektas
      @evapektas 7 месяцев назад

      You Made it very brave

  • @suzyqlasvegas
    @suzyqlasvegas 8 месяцев назад +42

    I was raised by a mother who always said “never let a man hit you”. I left a relationship because I knew he would’ve abused me. My mother was abusive to me and always denied it. She would pick at me until I’d say something and that gave her permission to start hitting me. I learned to never treat my children the way she treated me. At age 15 she found someone to marry her and she left. My 19 year old sister then took over raising me.

  • @SpursFanForLyfe100
    @SpursFanForLyfe100 Год назад +33

    She look amazing. Glad she is ok. The part where she said she started a career at 50 was inspiring. 💜❤️💚♥️🧡

    • @mmcdonald1000
      @mmcdonald1000 11 месяцев назад +7

      It's never too late to start a career for yourself 😊

  • @JulieIelasi-lt7yp
    @JulieIelasi-lt7yp 8 месяцев назад +98

    Domestic violence It's actually, verbal abuse, hitting you putting you down, taking away your things, everything

    • @galaxiyamoon
      @galaxiyamoon 3 месяца назад

      Men do that to women who are not behaving right. They hit, verbal abuse, controlling because they love and care about the woman and want her to be her best and treat her husband right.

  • @Charleygirl
    @Charleygirl 8 месяцев назад +29

    I was in marriage of 30 years with an abusive man, I understand every thing you are talking about. People ask why a person stays , it is called Trama bond! Even trips to store are Trama , being at work getting threats and mental games texting.I was 50 when I started over and career. I still at 53 can’t imagine another relationship! I’m still healing!After 25 years of becoming this stranger who took his crap I didn’t know to be myself..Your story brought tears to my eyes because you feel like you where the only one living such hell and it makes me sad others lived what you lived😢

    • @judymckee5992
      @judymckee5992 8 месяцев назад +3

      It took 2 years to get over the marriage when u have been with the abuser for 20 years but God is good, I am healed, delivered and got married to a wonderful husband at 59 years old and I am 67 years old now. The Lord sure redeem my time, I am bless and we travel around the world.

    • @shaeholden1743
      @shaeholden1743 8 месяцев назад +4

      Yes, the trauma bond. I read that the woman usually leaves (and returns) an average of 7 times. And that's exactly how many times I left before not going back to him. My peace and joy were immeasurable when I left.

    • @TheTracyHutchins
      @TheTracyHutchins 8 месяцев назад +3

      Yes, trauma bond is right. The cycle of abuse gets us addicted and it is like a drug. The hope of them being in a good mood and being kind and loving and then in a split second they switch (Jekyll & Hyde) and are hateful and make us feel like we did something wrong.
      I am now 49 and supporting myself and my youngest daughter the first time in my life have been no contact for 18months. Awaiting trial date for divorce in Aug 23 after Aug 19 marks 29 years of marriage. The hope that they will change and turn their hearts back to the Lord is what kept me staying and praying for 27years. I guess that’s enough wasted time spent if it didn’t happen in that time, it most likely won’t happen at all 😢

  • @HatRatt
    @HatRatt 8 месяцев назад +21

    Oh Wow! You did the same as I and at the same age. I ran to Texas also! I was married for 31 years, not in love, questioned if I was being abused, had no one to talk to, was so trapped and didn't realize it. I was alienated from my "bad" family. I have been in Texas for 20 years dancing 15ft above the ground since I left him in secret.

  • @bxchicc7799
    @bxchicc7799 Год назад +41

    I'm so sorry you went through this ma'am❤❤❤ I'm currently in an very unhappy marriage. The hard part is leaving. Hopefully one day i will be happy because right now i am very unhappy in my situation. I am broken mentally as well as emotionally. Just praying for better days 🙏🏽

    • @Mrscarricom
      @Mrscarricom Год назад +7

      I'm sorry the hard part is leaving, staying should be harder. I stayed 14 years not physical abuse, but financially unfair and a bully. This is why mother's tell their daughters to work. Those women who have good partners are truly blessed

    • @modusbee9092
      @modusbee9092 11 месяцев назад +7

      Maybe you could find some support at shelters or family help centres in or outside your area? They are really good at keeping everything confidential for your own safety. They can help you figure out all your options and work out an exit plan if you decide to leave. They understand that abuse doesn't necessarily have to be physical, and it can be more financial, mental, threats, etc. I hope you wake up happier one day. Best of luck.

    • @Desda1000
      @Desda1000 8 месяцев назад +3

      Give yourself a goal date, and gradually build up to it. Also try connecting with the universe. Picture a bright beautiful life when you leave him. It will be hard at first but do it every day, a little at a time.

    • @kehindeemiabata4032
      @kehindeemiabata4032 7 месяцев назад +2

      When you do decide to leave, please do not tell him. That is the most dangerous time for you because they are now losing the control they have over you. Also when you do leave, never meet up with him one more time or at anytime afterwards because again that will be very dangerous for you...keep safe.

  • @bridecolbourne1305
    @bridecolbourne1305 8 месяцев назад +12

    Marriage for 20 years , from 20 to 40 walked out with two teenagers moved out of state and left everything , the good thing was I had my own small business . I moved into there first to get things in order , sold my business and never looked back😄🌅🙏🏼

  • @janepearson5802
    @janepearson5802 8 месяцев назад +40

    It doesn't matter how much you care for the abuser and believe your love will change them ,it will not .

    • @NoelleLilley
      @NoelleLilley 7 месяцев назад

      Yes, the person’s unconditional love does not change or repair the abuser. Very true

  • @StaceyJayne-pe7ww
    @StaceyJayne-pe7ww 8 месяцев назад +32

    One thing it took me way longer to learn than it should have: If they break your stuff, they'll physically assault you as well.

  • @madameeditalee7676
    @madameeditalee7676 Год назад +22

    Thank God you didn't pull a Farrah Fawcett on his dumb ass.
    The Burning Bed.
    You're free, you persevered through it all.
    God protected you.
    Appreciate you sharing your story.

  • @ThomasBowen
    @ThomasBowen 8 месяцев назад +14

    Crying at your story. You are brave. I was abused for yrs.,
    & starting over years ago has been a struggle. I love God and he has been my husbandman ever since.

  • @Kari-bb3rm
    @Kari-bb3rm 8 месяцев назад +10

    Thank you for your testimony!
    Thank you for helping these women. I escaped after 20 years.. Free since 2022!

  • @anneroarty6473
    @anneroarty6473 8 месяцев назад +115

    I am 73years old and.i found Jesus and.i am.now in.ministry helping other people. I experienced all of this too..

    • @mia795
      @mia795 8 месяцев назад +1

      What kind of god would allow this to happen? You did it to yourself. Own that.

    • @tinabrewer_24ab12
      @tinabrewer_24ab12 8 месяцев назад

      @mia795
      God does not allow abuse. We live in a fallen world. But what a nasty little person you are. No one does abuse to themselves.

    • @kristenb5177
      @kristenb5177 8 месяцев назад +3

      @@mia795 it's God not god . Stop blaming God for your wickedness and other humans wickedness

    • @dtmontoy
      @dtmontoy 7 месяцев назад

      ​@@kristenb5177 totalmente de acuerdo contigo.

    • @dtmontoy
      @dtmontoy 7 месяцев назад

      ​@@kristenb5177totalmente de acuerdo contigo. ❤

  • @kathyclark616
    @kathyclark616 8 месяцев назад +10

    Beautiful to hear of survivorship.

  • @pamv6549
    @pamv6549 8 месяцев назад +11

    I understand this. I was married to a monster for almost 5 years. He pulled me out of the shower and threw me outside naked. I used to hide in the bathroom from him. He broke a window trying to get at me. So many bad memories. A solid 5 years of hell. I left. He denies the abuse to this day.

    • @evapektas
      @evapektas 7 месяцев назад +1

      Good you Made it out

    • @janm9610
      @janm9610 7 месяцев назад

      These people are pure evil. I am divorced from mine. Thankfully the abuse lasted 2 months, of course episodic. Can't stand him

  • @lisagking8853
    @lisagking8853 8 месяцев назад +23

    Wow… for me, at first, it was not leaving the radio station in the car on country music. Not putting the seat back where he wanted it. I had to explain everything on the grocery receipt. Then, he actually wanted me to work in a pizza restaurant. It was actually great to get away from home. But it was on his mail route and I finally understood. He could keep up with everything I did, along with picking up my check from my employer that he had gotten close to. There was only one escape. I got away with my two Daughters. They were so happy. Even their teachers asked why they were so much happier. I know I did the right thing. But now they won’t have anything to do with me. He has manipulated them and I don’t know what to do. Sometimes doing the right thing doesn’t seem like a win. But the fact that we’re all still alive is proof that I did the right thing. I can only hope that someday, they’ll understand. Until then, I’m holding my breath.

    • @martinasikk6162
      @martinasikk6162 7 месяцев назад

      I sincerely hope you will get the strength to leave that abusing partner. As I understand from what I have learned is that the situation will escalate and you will become more anxious and depressed, your life is worth more. As your daughter’s life. Best wishes from Sweden 🇸🇪

    • @Hatbox948
      @Hatbox948 7 месяцев назад

      Just let go. Maybe they'll come around, maybe they won't. You have yourself. My daughter hasn't talked to me in 5 years. We were once very close. The abusive relationship with her father has driven a wedge between us. He passed away in 2022.

  • @magrebtraveler
    @magrebtraveler 8 месяцев назад +20

    I was married to an abusive PO also and I truly believe that most of them are abusive, but my brother was a PO also and he is one of the best men I have ever known.

    • @anoodono1841
      @anoodono1841 7 месяцев назад +1

      Yes but do you live with your brother? Its entirely possible he is a good guy though

    • @73cidalia
      @73cidalia 6 месяцев назад

      Policing attracts heroes and monsters.

  • @manarcabrera2528
    @manarcabrera2528 8 месяцев назад +13

    I’m so sorry that you endured so much abuse. Thank you for sharing and I hope you’re living your best life.

  • @Zety-476
    @Zety-476 8 месяцев назад +39

    I graduated from marriage at 24 never to return here I am 56 , single. A partner maybe but marrying someone? The idea fills me with fear

    • @Scooterlee11
      @Scooterlee11 7 месяцев назад +3

      I left at 24, married for 5 years……I’m now 77…….I could never get up the courage to marry again. The only place I have ever found peace has been when I’m alone in my apartment. Sometimes I just turn everything off….tv…radio…..and just enjoy the peace!

    • @denisedevoto5703
      @denisedevoto5703 7 месяцев назад +1

      Same. In fact, when I hear anyone got engaged all I feel is anxiety for them.

  • @BarbaraKennedy-z1j
    @BarbaraKennedy-z1j 8 месяцев назад +12

    Your message is so strong! Thank you for sharing. I was going through domestic abuse, trying to come to terms with leaving my husband. Sitting in church, the priest said “God does not want you to be unhappy. I filed for divorce the next day.

  • @mb1015
    @mb1015 8 месяцев назад +9

    I'm 52, starting my life over. Your testimony has helped me so much. Thank you, you've said everything i needed to hear, i cant tell you how much i relate...knowing what is real, thats exactly where im stuck ❤

  • @PS-kf2er
    @PS-kf2er 8 месяцев назад +9

    So glad you were able to get out of the abusive marriage because the longer we stay in a relationship/marriage the more time it takes to walk out.

  • @allyw1364
    @allyw1364 8 месяцев назад +22

    Ive lived this.....Im a Survivor too ,over twenty years of torture and misery with that Evil Monster😴😪
    Im out of Jail now ,so happy you lived to tell us your story ❤❤❤
    Studies show now that these Sociopaths cannot be fixed or change so the ONLY thing that works is No Contact

  • @lindar8583
    @lindar8583 7 месяцев назад +3

    You are so courageous. I was married 26 years, my ex husband was an alcoholic but in denial. His behaviour was horrid the name calling hurt the most. My happiness is more important thank anything. Thank you for sharing.

  • @Shai8212
    @Shai8212 8 месяцев назад +13

    70!!! 😮 you look amazing!!!

  • @bonnie3232
    @bonnie3232 11 месяцев назад +36

    So typical. The gradual escalation of abuse.

  • @Virgo322
    @Virgo322 Год назад +10

    Thank you for sharing your story ❤❤❤❤

  • @TimDwg
    @TimDwg 5 месяцев назад +2

    As a man who is now out of an abusive marriage I can say that most of what you say also applies to me except for the physical abuse. Granted my ex-wife did physically attack me twice (I never touched her), that was nothing compared to the emotional and mental abuse. Her constant lying, deception, cheating, and using people, especially me, to get what she wanted. But that’s life when married to a narcissist who has convinced herself that she’s the victim as most narcissists do. She wants what she wants and doesn’t care who she hurts including our children. I should’ve known when my late step son asked me one day why I was even married to his mom. But like you said, you want to believe this person isn’t that bad and that she loved me. But she didn’t. She didn’t even deny it when I finally asked her how many dozens of times she cheated on me. She just got angry and changed topics. That’s not love. Cheating isn’t love. I never cheated on her. I think I finally realized how bad my marriage was when I continued to get people who responded with looks of horror and disgust as I described what she did. Some even had tears. That’s when I realized that I had been lying to myself and that she never loved me. I spoiled her. I took care of her. I took on all financial responsibilities and let her keep her paycheck. I gave her everything that I could because I thought if I gave her enough that she’d finally love me. She never contributed to anything. That’s all I was, a meal ticket to use until someone better came along. I wasted 20 years with her. Life is so much better now but it takes a lot of work and a lot of therapy. Narcissists will screw your head up. They’re master manipulators and dishonesty is their tool of choice. They’re so good at lying that they lie to themselves.

  • @michelled5037
    @michelled5037 Год назад +8

    Stay strong!💪 I am interested to hear your story. I am do happy you got away ❤

  • @billie44
    @billie44 Год назад +19

    Sounds just like my step father. As I got older I helped my mom fight him
    It still took her over 20 years to leave

  • @myrabyrd3522
    @myrabyrd3522 8 месяцев назад +11

    I was married to a NARCISSE 47 years!!!14 years a Widow, I have my Peace in CHrist Jesus!!! HALLELUJAH🎉🕊🎉MB

  • @jeanette4026
    @jeanette4026 Год назад +8

    Thank you so much for this....

  • @MindlessVIRUS143
    @MindlessVIRUS143 8 месяцев назад +6

    Wow her words towards the end was so beautiful

  • @Silenceisgolden-o9o
    @Silenceisgolden-o9o 8 месяцев назад +15

    You are awesome. Loved this video. You went through a life of hell. I am sorry that happened to you.
    I want to spend, what’s left of my life,in a new place and away from this house which holds many many negative memories.
    He only hit me a couple times, but abused me emotionally with the silent treatment for years and something negative and nasty everyday. Only by the grace of God am still “okay.”

    • @hello_0768
      @hello_0768 7 месяцев назад

      lots of love to you

  • @bevturquoise4651
    @bevturquoise4651 8 месяцев назад +11

    She STILL cannot say "I", she says "YOU" as if I was the one married to this man. It's great she is helping others.

  • @FlorenceLamb
    @FlorenceLamb 8 месяцев назад +7

    Praying for your safety, courage and a peaceful heart.

  • @carolynswan1171
    @carolynswan1171 8 месяцев назад +10

    Thank you so much for sharing your story Beautiful lady ❤❤

  • @derickrae
    @derickrae 8 месяцев назад +13

    My Best Friend left her emotionally abusive husband. In therapy, she wrote a letter to explain why she wanted sole custody of the children. She had me read it. I told her I was so sorry. I had no clue just how bad it was. She said she honestly didn't know how bad it was either.
    He killed her a couple of weeks later.

    • @kaylanewton4741
      @kaylanewton4741 8 месяцев назад +9

      So sorry you lost your friend

    • @derickrae
      @derickrae 8 месяцев назад

      @@kaylanewton4741 thank you.

    • @Hatbox948
      @Hatbox948 7 месяцев назад +4

      Oh my God, that's hearbreaking.

    • @audbod4140
      @audbod4140 7 месяцев назад +4

      So awfully sorry 😢

    • @hello_0768
      @hello_0768 7 месяцев назад +3

      so sorry

  • @Jahtutson
    @Jahtutson 8 месяцев назад +11

    I'm glad you got out with your health, sanity, life, and children.

  • @shelleylaneve3534
    @shelleylaneve3534 8 месяцев назад +25

    They always get nice after they step over line. But they always go back to their evil ways. Never give them a pass because they can be nice at times. They always revert back to ALWAYS

  • @kimtagliareni
    @kimtagliareni Месяц назад

    Thank you for sharing your story. I too was 51 when I left a marriage with narcissistic abuse. It's been 3 years now. I needed to hear that God loves me more than he dislikes divorce.

  • @wordsworthleeanne6774
    @wordsworthleeanne6774 8 месяцев назад +21

    35 years and he still finds ways to destroy me 42 years later

  • @HopeHalligan-x6m
    @HopeHalligan-x6m 8 месяцев назад +6

    Thank you so much for sharing your testimony. I am glad that you are safe now.

  • @myesha_shadd
    @myesha_shadd Год назад +125

    Sounds like a narcissist

  • @monybony8807
    @monybony8807 8 месяцев назад +2

    I was married to an abuser but I thought my depression was because I couldn’t have a baby. I went to Virgen Mary to ask for a pregnancy and she gave me light. I started to reallly see how he was treating me and I filed for divorce. For many years I couldn’t understand that the Virgen and God wanted me happy, enjoying life. And now with your video I realized that it’s true! They love us more than marriage! Well said ❤

  • @wisdom_may
    @wisdom_may 8 месяцев назад +3

    Karen you are such an inspiration to me and im sure many other survivors...I had been raised by two abusers that trained my older brother to bully and assault me..I also was isolated from all extended family. my parents made it clear that I wasn't worthy to be treated well ..I got into relationships that were good for me which resulted in massive retaliation and harm by both parents where they actually found other supporters that joined up with them to grotesquely mistreat me in such shocking ways,,eventually I was so isolated from friends that I wanted to leave so bad that I made bad choices with other bullies..it was repeating the same abusers..but I also was financially abused by both parents..I wasn't allowed to have any money or independence...I am so glad that at least you had your children who didn't get turned against you ..which is what most abusers are doing now,,getting the children to turn against their own parent and often join in with the bullying and cruelty... when I decided to leave my relationship,..and went no contact with both parents where at 50 I am still living in hiding because they will Never stop stalking me,....life has tremendously gotten better daily..its hard work to self reflect and change and grow..because I never want to be in that place again..im happy and content and I know my life is beginning..I look forward to being stronger even more .like you are as I get along in my healing journey..thankyou for your story..

  • @yvettenoble-c1n
    @yvettenoble-c1n Год назад +17

    I'm Glad You finally got strong and Left. sometimes it takes 30 years to wake up😵‍💫

  • @gandypillay9703
    @gandypillay9703 8 месяцев назад +9

    I pray you found your peace and happiness ,thank God you found life and a rebirth again 🙏

  • @elizabethsoenen7393
    @elizabethsoenen7393 8 месяцев назад +16

    I’m so sorry for you. Your poor kids growing up in this mess.

  • @elizabethbarmann5361
    @elizabethbarmann5361 Год назад +9

    Sounds exactly what happened to me except I escaped after 5 years and that was 34 years ago… we share a daughter and he came to stay with her for a while and I had to face him just recently and the sad thing is he is such a coward!! He hasn’t grown at all!! He still blames me for everything wrong in his life and it just is sad. Sad that he couldn’t have a relationship with his daughter or grandchildren because of the narcissist that he is. While I know he is not a danger to me anymore I am still having nightmares from the torment of the past.. thank you for sharing your story 🙏❤️

    • @WendyP1965
      @WendyP1965 Год назад +2

      He sounds like a nasty coward! Glad ur away from him!

    • @nancyshell2855
      @nancyshell2855 8 месяцев назад +2

      Never trust them even if they are never a physical danger to you. The lies they weave about you can be stunningly awful.

  • @myreasonforlife.9511
    @myreasonforlife.9511 День назад +1

    Karen yr a beautiful woman and brave! Thank you for sharing your story. 🌺 It needs to be heard, from these narcissistic cowards. My grandma always said they think with the other head, and one would always get what they deserve for doing dirty in the end. Now I know what she meant.

  • @giearomin2738
    @giearomin2738 8 месяцев назад +5

    I salute the women who were able to get out and overcome domestic abuse❤

    • @nattyl2070
      @nattyl2070 Месяц назад

      I salute the ones who were able to leave their abusers and not get KILLED!

  • @KJHousefinder
    @KJHousefinder 3 месяца назад

    Thank you for your testimony. You're a wonderful soul. ❤

  • @milliehummer4713
    @milliehummer4713 8 месяцев назад +5

    I hid my husband’s abuse too. I felt ashamed. I was trying to do my best for our youngest son who was 15 when he finally left me for an internet girlfriend who would drink with him. I was released from the hell I had been living in for 30 years. Unfortunately, he had drained all our assets & put our home in foreclosure. I was able to save the house & am doing well. The only pain I have is that my daughter has been convinced by her father to hate me. My sons are supportive.

  • @faith769
    @faith769 7 месяцев назад

    I here you loud n clear. 33 yrs for me. I'm so happy n free now! God bless you there is life out there!!!! ❤❤❤️🙏

  • @marcosta183
    @marcosta183 8 месяцев назад +18

    Today I feel ashamed for standing so much abuse as I did for 25 years. He tried to destroy my face and I still have those marks which didn’t let me forget all along. He died because he was an alcoholic but before, he went down the hill for the sale reason. When he died, I got very sad out of pity for what he also had done to himself...😮

  • @normaparry8659
    @normaparry8659 5 месяцев назад +1

    Allowing children to see that level of abuse is shameful. 30 years of it must have damaged them.

  • @BrendaEaster-c8k
    @BrendaEaster-c8k 8 месяцев назад +14

    These cases seem to be proliferating. I worked with a Laotian man who had five children. He was a thorough professional. I left that job in the early 80s. I forgot all about him...until I saw his picture in the news. One of his daughters was murdered by her obsessive boyfriend, who had followed her all the way to Maryland (from Stockton, CA) to escape him. She was barely 19 yo. How helpless the family must have felt through this nightmare.

  • @keepitreal665
    @keepitreal665 Год назад +2

    Thank you for your honesty.It,s good you have come to terms with it.Your honesty is refreshing.I,m glad you know it is not your fault.xxxxxxxx

  • @susanmarden3081
    @susanmarden3081 8 месяцев назад +3

    Thank you so much for this video! You have just helped so many women| men. I am a survivor!! Watching from Isle of Wight in uk 🇬🇧 xxxx

  • @lisaw6199
    @lisaw6199 5 дней назад

    Sending prayers for your safety and a positive new life. 🙏❤️

  • @ronda4756
    @ronda4756 Год назад +11

    I can completely understand her!! I use to burn to where there was blisters and cut until there were small pools of blood. I did this for a few reasons. There's time I felt numb i would hurt myself to feel the pain, so I can feel like I am real, when a person that was close to me hurt me to where I wanted to hurt them, I would physically hurt myself instead and I hurt myself because I have no one and I'm worthless, so I would punish myself. I was abused, sexually, mentally and physically since age 4. It was done by family, foster care and then by men when I became an adult. So I can really relate and understand her from the bottom of my soul..thank you for sharing your story. I know there's people that's been through this or more. It still felt like it only happened to me.

  • @VictoriaRockey
    @VictoriaRockey 8 месяцев назад +15

    My story is similar to yours it’s unbelievable. Every thing you said was so much what my horrible marriage was like. Sadly I was with him for almost 42 years. Thankfully I was miraculously rescued out of my prison March in 2023!! I’m glad you can say your story. My husband also claimed to be a Christian.
    Now I’m truly a Born Again Christian and God freed from my heart of sin my worst prison, and the physical prison of our home, within 2 months. My story is so similar it’s amazing!!

  • @MsJones2U.
    @MsJones2U. 3 месяца назад

    I’m so sorry that happened to you. I’m so glad that you got away fr being unalived and that you are now able to live your best life. 🙏🏽🙏🏽😭😭😭🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

  • @maryjohnson4670
    @maryjohnson4670 8 месяцев назад +3

    I left my ex boyfriend while living in Texas. I drove cross country to where I was from in Wisconsin. I knew I had to drive far so I wouldn't go back 😊 aside of leaving my ex husband after 25 years leaving my ex boyfriend was definitely one of most important things I've ever done

  • @ivonkwAn6443
    @ivonkwAn6443 8 месяцев назад

    I pray that so many broken women hear this story... we need to hear a story like this to find out what is wrong in ourlife, ... be in the middle of a mess that someone has dragged us into without asking for our consent.
    Thank you for sharing ❤