Escaping My Abusive 'Christian' Marriage. Dr. Ramona's Survival Story
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- Опубликовано: 30 сен 2024
- Dr. Ramona Probasco is a Licensed California Marriage and Family Therapist, a Nationally Certified Counselor, and a Certified Domestic Violence Counselor. She is a nationally recognized speaker addressing domestic violence and how to heal well from the trauma of abuse.
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He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.
He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support.
He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.
The Lord has dealt with me according to my righteousness; according to the cleanness of my hands he has rewarded me.
~ Psalm 18:16-20
I need sos
AMEN🙏🙌
@@treatyofchristianity7772 How you doing?
@@bigbruno56 You know NOT of which you speak!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@@lauraowen8142 I am not fine
If a man or woman is being abused by their spouse ,the spouse is not a true Christian.
Agreed.
I don't agree with your statement
@@gooseblur2609 A Christian is a follower of Jesus, someone trying to be like Jesus, Jesus didn’t abuse women or men.
Not necessarily, a believer is a human being, and all have sinned and fallen short. I would say that these people are sick, miraculous healing is called for.
@@gooseblur2609 real Christians won't hurt anyone. If someone does, then they're not true Christians.
Matthew 7:21
21 Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter
Great point: Abuse is not a marriage problem. Do not get counsel from people not trained in domestic violence.
Got goosebumps of That Psalm (18) ❤
This is all so true!
I wish her all the best.
"Not everyone who says to me 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven
"You can't love someone to wellness." Say that again please.
Love this
I found this to be true.
I think every women who has found herself in a domestic violence situation has made this same mistake
Calling yourself a Christian doesn't mean you are a Christian.
I question her morals.
The devil goes to church too! Not everyone attending is a true Christian behind closed doors. Integrity is doing/being the same thing/person whether someone is watching you or not.
i love how she doesn't bash Jesus and Christianity or the church bc of what she has been through❤
That is deep and genuine conversion. Amazing.
I think it's valid to do so!
I was abused religiously for over 20 years, I hate religion and what it does to people, period. Full stop. I do not respect religious people or religion.
If that works for you fine, but I hate it and I will always hate it. Religion never was a choice for me, it was forced on me. My step father was a narcissistic abuser who forced me to go to Catholic, Baptist, and Christian schools from 1-12 grade despite not believing in any of it. It made my life a living HELL. I am justified in bashing religion and I will do so until the day I die.
@@andreawally4488 I found comfort and healing without God, piss off.
@@vegan4theanimals sorry to hear of the pain caused to you by so called Christian or religious people. People in their falleness, religious or not, may hurt you. It is very understandable to never want anything to do with God after being deeply hurt.
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."
Jesus said this and though you may relate all things Christian to the pain you have suffered, he will never change, and is the one that can be trusted. God bless.
Those of us who tell our story truthfully are not "bashing" Jesus or Christianity or the church. I love Jesus, and His church, and the Christian faith. But if we have been harmed in the context of the Church, it is good to speak the truth. Nonetheless, I forgive the man who harmed me and the pastor who worsened the situation.
I was married to a "pastor" for 7 years and was abused every day of my life (either emotional and/or physical)! I finally got enough courage to leave because of the safety of my daughter. She was the reason I left this narcissist monster and I'm so glad that I did!! I am a survivor and now I am blessed with a true Godly man who loves me and my daughter with a true love!!!
You meant you remarried when your first husband is alive. This is contrary to bible doctrine
@@josepholuwatobiloba4035 stop your legalism. God still allow remarriage if it is His will.
@@freya0620 I'm not a legalist, I strongly believe in the grace of God that brings freedom. But many things people do, it's a result of trying to help God. Remain unmarried if your first husband is still alive. That's what the new testament teaches
Narcissist... NPD mental illness . They should recognize these as pathological criminals.. all courts should recognized these abusive gaslighters as guilty always..
I was involved with one and that person was every bit the description for NPD
@C Tribe Legalism or whatever you calls it, it is the counsel of God that stands. I don't support Abuse. But God can change anybody, it is not taking matters into our hands. She may separate herself from her abusive husband, but going further to remarry and break her first vows is completely depending on herself.
My husband was a pastor and I lived through HORRIBLE abuse. Shame kept me in the marriage for 16 years. So sad but I am free now❤️
Never expect pastors can be involved in domestic violent. Quite shocking to read.
😭 how many more women can have the same
@@kimjasmine7767 its more common than you think. 😞
@@lydiahiott6164 Crazy how believers can treat there wife worse then an unbeliever. I have never been in a relationship can you tell mensome red flags you noticed.
@O K What verse?
He called himself a Christian, most people they just called themselves christians only in name, but they live in a worldy lives and worldy stuffs, he doesn't have a close relationship with the LORD.
Yep!
2 Peter 3:1-5
".....Having a form of godliness but denying its power "
And that is why we must watch the way a person lives and not just by what they say..for by their fruits, you'll know them!
@@stepheessel6667 I agree. I didn’t pay attention to the fruits and ignored it. I am now realizing there were never any fruits of The Spirit. His actions do not match his words and I always took what he said to be true. Now I am learning.
Hope Singh,,, JESUS YESHUA WAS ASKED, ""HOW WILL WE KNOW FALSE TEACHERS""???? AND HE REPLIED,""" YOU WILL KNOW THEM BY THEIR FRUITS""".... SO SIMPLY SAID, BUT POWERFULLY TRUE AND EFFECTIVE...
Yes! If he is a Christian then he should repent, really repent and restore that marriage...marriage is HOLY, nobody should mess with it
If this man was genuinely born again: 1. He would have been convicted by the holy spirit that would live in him. 2. He would love and appreciate his wife (he did not genuinely love her). 3. He would get help. Finally, this man was demon oppressed. The body of Christ must acknowledge dark evil influences and exercise power over it.
Christians these are not true Christians a true Christian would never hit a woman the Holy Spirit inside them the Holy Spirit would never let it happen
Christian marriages are often the marriages most in need of healing and redemption. Christians are far from perfect. Many things still need working out.
Exactly,and I don’t know why they are calling it Christian marriage. He obviously wasn’t a true Christian to begin with.
@@davidwinter6148 "Christians are far from perfect." So that gives someone the right to sin and makes excuses instead of taking personal responsibility and appologizing? Give me a break! Even a devil worshiper knows better! Christian marriages are in need of healing because it was based off of the lie of dating and not "DWJD" and follow betrothal.
@@saxmanjpr5092 Since I never said that gives someone the excuse to sin I guess you are a type of blowhard who goes before reading carefully and considering the comments of others. I didn't come close to saying that. Thank you.
@@davidwinter6148 You obviously did not listen to your Professor in college when he or she was talking about how sometime people say things in order to make you THINK - to use critical thinking and the term "going to the express to make a point." Idiot.
Plan quietly and run! I was almost killed by trying to be pleasing to a narcissist.
My husband of 25 years put me in a chokehold. This is the third time he has physically abused me. He is in jail right now. I am praying he gets jail time so I can save up money to escape.
I hope you are ok
I pray you're safe and doing well.
Timberley
You better to escape now while you got the chance
I hope and pray that you are better now... I hope you did Escape. When things start to slow down, do me a favor... And I wish I would have done this right away... Look for a school that teaches self-defense. I went through it many years ago I wound up getting into Taekwondo and it was the best money I had ever spent
Praying for you and your family.
At the first sign of abuse, get out. Don’t enable the abuser by putting up with further abuse or think you have the power to change an abuser.
Did you not understand it’s not that easy to get out? I work in DV. Abusers will hold there significant other captive, hostage, in the house.
@@Topg1 It’s easy to get out at the VERY FIRST SIGN OF ABUSE, and young women need to be taught that by parents and schools.
@@johnfairweather9188 yes, agreed. The longer you entertain the abuse the harder it will be to escape because it has become a lifestyle for both the abuser and the victim. And as with everything else, an abuser will not easily give up a lifestyle just like that especially if he/she feels empowered by it, sick as it may be.
My first girlfriend stopped having sex with me after I slapped her. Good decision. Later I became Christian and married. But after some beautiful years I slowly turned into a self centered psychpath. Lost my family, thought being more religious would help. It took me 25 years to come back to Christ.
Abuse is not a fruit of the Holy Spirit, but is proof of the work of the flesh. I can't judge this man's soul, but I wouldn't think he was truly saved to begin with. He probably just had religion he displayed for everyone but his wife. So sad!
It is the spirit in that person. open. neef only 1 little bad thinking or doing that is not from God and satan sees his chance. and only by rebuke with the word of God that spirit shall flee.
My ex-wife had Narcissistic Personality Disorder unknown to me and the abuse I experienced nearly killed me.....abuse is not gender bias
A Meghan Markle
True
My brothers ex wife had borderline personality disorder, she abused him. He was over six foot tall and would not hit her back. He endured a lot until finally leaving her!
I been there once for 12 years, here i am again. The cycle can be impossible to break when one doesnt understand and actually runs when treated right 😐
And you understand that is okay to leave your wife if you feel threatened. But you cannot re marry...only if she dies...if you re marriage you are living in adultery. Jesus said very clearly..." If you divorce you cannot re marriage". Only if your first wife dies.
I am a survivor of domestic abuse.
My children are in their late 40s and deal with addictions that I believe are because of what the saw and experienced growing up.
I did not get away from my abuser until my children were in their teens.
I wish that I had the strength to leave earlier.
I was stuck in the..."tomorrow will be better" victim mode.
Frozen by fear.
The day that I decided to move forward with my life and not look back... felt like I was stepping off a cliff with total darkness and the unknown below me.
My single parent life was hard....so hard.
But, day by day the Lord gave me strength and provided for us.
Praise!
You were stronger than you thought. Abusers make us feel weak & hopeless. You have alot of courage. God bless you.
My testimony:I was born in a hindu family and 's very superstitious.3 years ago, my life was shattered..suffering from suicidal thoughts & was deeply depressed... That's when Jesus stepped into my life...and transformed my life completely..all the past's shame ,insults& sadness vanished from my life .There's a point in my life where I was stucked and not able to come out of suicidal thoughts, but now I couldn't even remember completely the bad incidents happened in my past.True happiness and joy is found in Jesus alone!
Thank God for your saving you & may you continue to grow in God!
@@janetcampbell9286 TQ 🙌pls do remember me in your prayers !
I'm so happy for you! God is truly our saviour and loving father. ❤
Good to hear your testimony
I'm an Athiest, but abuse is not a Christian value! Very glad that people are talking about manipulators hiding under the guise of religion.
may I ask why you don't believe in God? you are not like other atheists who do not believe in God because they consider him evil. perhaps you need proof of his existence?
You can't cure an abuser of what he chooses to do. The victim can only also escape by choice....run to safety!
The Bible says as much as lieth in you, be at peace with all men. So I don’t believe God wants us to live in an abusive situation. When you’re being abused, you’re not at peace.
Yes. We can only do so much.
@@marymorris6897 Hi
thank you
@@mmommo-hx4dx
I saw your message, your quite welcome anytime....
Agreed. I never had peace with him , but I do remember when I started praying and responding differently and not feeding into his abusive ways, I had peace because avoid gave it to me.
Judas walked with Jesus, but in the end, he sold Jesus to death for 30 pieces of silver. Thats the ultimate betrayal. Just because someone profess to be a Christian doesn't mean the Holy Spirit truly lives inside of them.
I know of 2 women in abusive marriages who became very ill. But Jesus and divorce brought recovery against the odds.
I need this. The divorce is done but I'm so sick and Doctors can't do anything more for me. Jesus is my only hope.
That’s so hopeful!
You can't fix a broken person.
Iam a victim in this situation right now. My husband is a pastor, he's so controlling, verberlly,and physically abusive and intimidating.he physically abused me a month ago and I had to seek for help from women's Aid. The church has turned a blind eye to the issue and he has been considered as the victim because the police has given him a restraining order not to come home. Non of them care about my emotional, physical and mental pain . They will tell me it's not in the bible to divorce because of domestic abuse. I'm confused ,and don't know how to heal. It's such a difficult situation and only God can draw me out of the many waters. I have prayed and cried so much but the pain is still so fresh and hurting.
Contact the local DV hotline in your area, when it is safe to talk. Allow them to safety plan with you.
Hello Zilla, I am praying for you, my dear. I am glad you are speaking up about your abuse. If no one is listening talk to others until some one does. Jesus would not abuse you and so get out of there. You can not fix the abuser hun. Be safe.
I know you wrote this two years ago, but are you safe now? Are you out?
I completely relate to this story. Abusers are usually Narcissists who don’t change. They blame you for everything and punish you for their own faults. And yes, the abuse escalates from emotional and mental abuse to physical abuse. It is NOT easy to leave either. The abuser removes as many supports as possible so you are dependent upon them. This is my story.
I can relate and he used to quote the scripture, wives must obey their husbands, to manipulate me into doing what he wanted. And many other narcissistic behaviours.
Yes they are cowards 😡
@@abutterfly7975 Yes. It sounds all to familiar. And his aunt made it no better telling his kids, whom I raised since they were 1&2, a woman should NEVER leave their husband. This comes after a series of her KNOWING her “son” was abusive towards me. I use to talk to her but she put the blame on me as if I was suppose to raise him into being a man.
@@abutterfly7975 The scripture says in the marriage vows, also: " HUSBANDS LOVE YOUR WIVES. "
@@simonedishelle6720 DENIAL, DENIAL LIAR, HIS MOTHER !
My pastor and mentors at my church knew of the abuse, and they still wouldn't support me when I wanted to divorce my husband. I remember being told at one point that I needed to be more forgiving. I left that church.
I love to help you out, because I do have answers for you, there are other churches out their
That you can attend to, but One thing I do know that Paul's writing to the Romans, well he was
a single man and he Loved Jesus, that's all he needed was Jesus, but in today's Generations
You have a lot of things going on today such as wars, murders, you hear a lot of sin in this world
A woman and a man get divorced , such as cheating, A Man kills his wife and kids which I hear
on the news, I remember I said in one of my statements that in a Marriage is a responsibility a commitment
And if we don't have any of these things, maybe we all can be like Paul and love Jesus more
He lived a single life, there's nothing wrong with that, I'm a single young man going to be 59 in a few
Months but I'm not ashamed of it I enjoy life that Jesus gave me and I love to be an example....
Thank you Jesus for this wonderful person, I ask you Jesus to bless this nice young lady in
Jesus name I pray Amen......
The Scriptures allow for separation not divorce for that reason only 1 reason permitted biblically to divorce-infidelity
@@adrianalimozinere4256 And desertion. My husband did not repent, and instead blamed me for the abuse. I think what my church should have done was support me as an abused wife, not being supportive of me leaving my husband. They didn't. Instead, they said I should be more forgiving, and cut me loose when I said I was leaving him. They should have come around us as a couple, and let my husband know what he was doing wrong, and given him tools to be a Godly husband. Who knows, maybe it could have saved our marriage.
The Lord did not create you to suffer violence, so be encouraged to leave this person.
be Encouraged
From France !
@@adrianalimozinere4256
I think the church you attend should hear you out because I believe in you
Adriana, but pray about it, before you present yourself on how it really was
I know Jesus is on your side Adriana and Jesus loves you more, some how Satan likes to work overtime, but don't let it destroy your Love for Jesus because Jesus loves you more Adriana, and I'm very sure when you testify
In Church just tell the truth what really happened....My Sister said you expect Men should be a perfect example in a Marriage, not always....You expect that
Men should love Jesus but if they don't, that presents a problem ....but always be lead to tell your testimony....Father in Jesus name I pray for Adriana right
Now and I thank you Jesus for this nice young lady, I ask you Jesus to bless
Her in Jesus name Amen ♥️
I left my very abusive ( physical, mental, emotional) husband. Together 24yrs and 6 kids. I gave my life to Jesus. Without my husband in my daily life, I've completely surrendered to God and have drawn closer to Him. I attend church, read Bible and pray. I'm in total awe & tears of joy everyday for how God has got me through this. Supernatural peace, strength & provider. I keep my husband in my prayers and leave it in God's hand now. GLORY BE TO GOD!🙏🛐🙌❤
I will keep searching for ways to share my testimony. And I pray for those that read it will come to Jesus and you too will find refuge in Him. I ask this in Jesus name, 🙏
Thank you, I too am praying for Supernatural peace, strength & healing. Most of all that my husband becomes saved... This has been a long painful journey
She telling the truth, the church blames you as the wife it's always your fault....
Not in holy spirt filled churches. My pastor told us if there is domestic abuse you need to run. We even help shelters for abuse victims and girls that are pregnant.
I have to disagree with that statement. Some churches blame you as the wife, some churches blame you as the husband, some churches say it's a communication problem and get you to try to understand the other person's perspective etc. But when it's abuse, it's abuse, and sadly there are many churches and other folk who simply do not understand 'domestic abuse' or other forms of abuse, and sadly they enable the abuse further because they think they have the answers .. and the bible has definitely made it clear that abuse is non-gender specific. It's very sad that many churches are unsafe places to be .. but then again, Jesus warned us of this. Keep well and safe
I think it is completely unfair ,unjust ,and not the true . The woman isn't always to blame. that is for sure . I strongly believe on some cases the husband is to blame . Actually till very few years ago I could diffenetly say the boyfriend or the husband were to blame in most cases ( of course not all cases ) .
Even if you openly told them he is beating you?!? 😳
A false church will do that, and they will pay for that btw, I hope she is led to true church with genuine believers and not hypocrites
My Christian marriage was very similar but psychologically
our Lord sees everything and He took him away from me. My husband died unexpectedly but SAVED because in my pains, I prayed Him to save him and that I forgive everything he has done to me. During his last months, he was much kinder. How to escape from this kind of relationship?? If the victim looks at our Savior but not the human, if he does His will, then salvation will come. IT IS HARSH, I felt nailed to the cross and if it was not enough, my children were against me too, gossip from brothers and sisters as well! I wish no Christian has to go through what I have experienced!! But now, I say "Thank you LORD, for what I have been through, you cleansed me from my flesh, my spirit has been strengthen, I have more compassion for everyone, and I even see my enemies in a different way.... What I gained from all of this??? A year after my husband passed away, my middle daughter aged 30, was born again and baptized!!! Now we pray together for all the family and our cherished friends be saved BEFORE the rapture!!!
So sorry you were dealt such a hard journey, but thankful you are made more like Christ! He loves us!💚
Salvation is the mission of Abuser he want slaves in his life
How???!!!
Powerful Testimony!
That is a beautifull testimony, praise our Lord Jesus Christ 😃😘🥰!!Much love and blessings your way from Croatia
I had a boyfriend he hit me once, I left him straight away... That's a toxic man right there
What did you do to upset him?
@@myoutube5451 I caught him cheating, told him I didn't want to see him anymore... He came picked me up drove me to meet his parents. His dad told me that his son was bad news and I could do better, I encouraged him to spend time with his family... I did nothing.. On the way back home we sat in silence.. He pulled over the car and just hit me no reason. He stole money from my family and gambled it when he went away with the women he was cheating with... He was exactly what his dad said he was so I ended the relationship....
@@makeitcount2985 I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you are doing better now.
@@makeitcount2985 His parents failed him is what happened, The father just found out the hard way.
@@Non-religiou That's not a fair statement. Did anybody blame the prophet Samuel for "not raising his sons right"? See 1 Samuel 8:5.
Side note. Her voice is very soothing
I have lived the same story...with a narcisistic Jekyll & Hyde. Everyone knew Mr Nice guy and l often saw the other side. I hoped and prayed for 30 years that it would change. I finally planned and prepared for my divorce for a few years with the help of friends and my lawyer. I have been free for 8 years and my life is blissfully peaceful. He calmed down when he found a new girlfriend and that helped me leave. I'm grateful that she came along, but l feel sorry for her.
jekyl...a jackal is a pesky mini coyote from africa
@@Lauren-vd4qe - Thank you. I knew that, but l thought that's how it was written. Will correct. 🧡
@@dominiqueogilvie3365 well perhaps he was a jackal eh! a pesky little critter!!
@@Lauren-vd4qe- Hmmm.....nasty abusive jackal actually....depending which of the two characters he was at the time, helped by alcohol.
The man apparently lived a life of unrepentant sins. He will have to answer to God for his actions.
He was Christian in name only.
So true, I feel sick, we need to make sure we have ways to help this people✨
If a man or woman is abusive they are not acting in any Christian manner .
That was not a "Christian" marriage and if her husband was abusive then he wasn't a Christian. Period.
Amen
You Soo wrong
Definitely all people say they are Christian are not. Christ says by their fruits you will now them.
Please keep sharing this message. It is SO important. Especially within Christian circles.
The church should be mandated to share this. Doing marriage ceremonies and not addressing a healthy perspective of marriage gives too much room for marriage to be a sex cult to keep women chained mentally. Folks have confused religion for Gods Will just like Pharisee in Jesus time
No one shares Christ and nearly kills anyone!! .. he used and shared Satan!!
My pastor supported me after I told him what I had been going through. I waited so long but I needed that support to give me the strength to leave him......leaving saved my life.
Vivian Taylor-Kalinowski,You are beautiful 🌹🌷🌷,you don't need a narc 😈 in your life!!
I have depression when my husband had an affair with a woman at his work. In front of people at the church, we were played, happy family. 16 years of marriage. I am done. Thank you Jesus.
¡¡AMEN!!👍 MY HUMBLE LIKE 👍, THANK YOU FOR SHARING, AND BLESSINGS TO YOU!💕
Praying for you in Jesus name Sis. Grace and Godspeed in Jesus name ~ CG
Get spiritual counceling. Your husband is left this marriage & has shut the door on you. Rebuild your esteme in Christ & healing. If you don't have any children then this is your journey. If you do have children get them counseling also.
I would love to hear how you are doing now.
I admire the work and healing the Lord Jesus has done in this woman. She is very confident and poised, and now helping so many others. Thank you Lord Jesus! 🙏
I hate hearing about issues of domestic violence. Jesus said which one of you can make a strand of hair on your head and yet we feel we have the right to act like we own human beings like they are our property. No man or woman is greater than the other in Christ, we are all one.
Amen!
But, their is another factor in the relationship between a man and a woman,
they become 1 FLESH not 2
That tie was BROKEN during the ABUSE OF ANY SORT, their SEPARATE ..
Amen 🙌🙋
Def was Not born again...This was so Typical in late 79s thru early 90s. My pastor sided with Abuser until i gave an Example of what happ to me & For the Pastor to close his Eyes & put "His" daughter in my place...He jumped up & said...LEAVE HIM
I don't believe he's a genuine born-again Christian.
No he isn’t
Those kind of people might be demon possessed for sure. Even Christians can be demonized. Demons do not leave voluntarily, even when people give their lives to Jesus. The devil is a liar and he is unfair. Demons need to be cast out. The Church needs more teaching on that.
@@agnesr.4664 My understanding is that casting out demons was something that was authorized by God only to the Apostles. So when someone gets saved what you're saying is that Jesus blood is not enough to make demons depart from the possessed person's body. Is that not blasphemy? Jesus bought people with a price. He has authority over all.
That's why discernment is important
Amen. Ask for it, right?
I learned from my Sister is no man or woman are going to be perfect in a Marriage, and I
Agree with her, but when we all Talk about Marriage, you want Marriage to last forever till death
Do us part....Let's say a woman gets saved by Jesus and the Man doesn't get saved and when the
Man turns his head, she's gone her clothes laying on the floor so she gets Raptured into Heaven
And the Man is left behind, but the point is if you put Jesus first in a Marriage and do things his
way just think that your Marriage could last forever...
Marriage is a responsibility a commitment you want to put Jesus first, and if you don't have any
of these things, you can be Single, Paul in the bible lived a single life and I'm sure their were A
Few more single people in the bible as well, I'm a single man and I love Jesus, I also learned that
Marriage that Men are marrying Men, and women are doing the same thing, I know Jesus is
Looking down on this earth and he is not pleased on what he Sees...Sin is more in incontrol
And no one sees it yet, but this is an eye opener, I love Jesus and he is our Savior amen.....
Amen !!! That’s the truth .
I was in an abusive dating relationship with a man who claims to be a Christian and I wrote a book on it... doing this helped me to feel heard because so little people believed me or really understood...
The biblical command is for husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church.That should be the yardstick for every Christian husband.
Amen and AMEN
When I was 16 years old, one night as I was falling asleep, I opened my eyes for two seconds and saw Jesus leaving the end of my bed. He had been sitting there and waited for me to fall asleep and as I did, He got up and started walking away towards the bedroom window. I will never forget it. He was dressed in a white robe with shoulder length wavy brown hair. I love the Lord, Jesus! 🙏🥰❤️
I love your story. I lost a baby to still birth. I had a beautiful dream a few days before my baby died. In my dream I saw Jesus walking away with my baby. He loves me so much he warned me about what was going to happen. He did this so I would not be scared. I need to remember that. If he loves me enough to do that for me what do I have to fear. Absolutely nothing.
I enjoyed reading your testimony, amen thank you Jesus, I love you Jesus ♥️♥️
Something similar happened to me but I only saw his robe he said I love you it’s almost time to get up. It was in 1999
Oh also his hands felt warm I could feel warmth going through my body.
@@janedough2492 Thank you for sharing your dream about Jesus and your precious baby. I’m so sorry.
Thank you for sharing! I was married to a man who had that classic Jekyll & Hyde personality. The abuse didn't begin until after we married. When it became unbearable we went to a number of marriage counsellors. Very few of them were helpful. Our pastor believed that men are blameless in a marriage, and it is up to the woman to fix everything. This pastor also blamed me for not handing over more power in the marriage, including all my finances. Yet the same pastor was entirely unwilling to address my husband's pornography addiction or his abusive behaviours. My husband, Greg, was also a huge manipulator. He turned friends and family against me. Other Christians looked at me as a wayward woman. But I really felt that God was making a way for me to leave, for my safety, and because the abuse was so damaging, emotionally and physically. I was being given a chance to recover and live a peaceful, healthy life.
Thank you Jesus!
I've seen this sort of thing in action. A church assembly circles the wagons around an individual when there is a credible allegation of abuse. Whatever doctrine that Church leadership is following, it is not of God.
" you will know therm by their fruits, love,kindness, " ''is a man's world'' !!! The pastor defended him because of '' gender stereotype' he was a man.
He was himself a narcissist!!!!
I’m SO sorry you experienced secondary abuse when you told the truth! I know how awful it is and how much it hurts. Praise God HE is always there for us! ❤
I’m soooo sorry you experienced that too. Looking back if I was a weak Christian it would’ve turned me against God. Spiritual abuse. I was shocked. Going to the Pastor FINALLY he will be talked to what I had been saying behind closed doors NOPE! They tip toed around it all. It’s like they feel fine saying how submissive a wife is to be but have no verses due him living holy, having integrity, and submitting one to another and NOT mistreating his wife as NONE OF HIS PRAYERS will be heard 🤷♀️🥴🤦♀️. This man was texting women, drinking, got caught smoking, lying on taxes, singing in karaoke bars, not coming home at reasonable times, not helping around house, yelling and being abusive in house, into pornography with his male cousins, lying to me all the time and robbing Peter to pay Paul and did not give tithes. With this whole list, examples, and emails they said I was trying to be a judge, that we can’t move forward looking at the past, that he needs a softer wife not an accusatory one. It’s better for a man to be in the corner of a housetop than to have a complaining wife. Oohhhh thinking back it makes me so mad. Not once did he have an accusation against me or my Christian character other than saying I didn’t respect him or love him right. Now knowing what narcissism is THEY ALL SAY THAT and it’s nothing you could do to ever show them you love and respect them. It was pure evil. The Pastor would try to make it even by suggesting we both take accountability for our issues and something is never one persons fault. Fault??? I wasn’t trying to find fault over the fact that here I am MARRIED AND A BELIEVER dealing with a nightmare and habitual sinner who pridefully would tell me he not scared of my threats regarding God sees all. He said one time God can find him. It was that day I knew I was dealing with a few demons. Guess what the church where he smeared me to everyone (a church I found in those yrs of dealing with his tantrums for support) he comes and joins there and gives a narrative after I left. I cut all mutuals and did no contact. He is one of their praise and worship leaders and no more than 5 myths ago when I got my divorce a mistress Prob one of many found me on FB apologizing to me and saying how he cheated on her and she can’t stand him and etc etc. The Pastor was warned but didn’t care because he needs him to sing. I just say LORD YOU SEE ALL, THANK YOU FOR GETTING ME OUT! Feel sorry for woman being deceived because he should be concerned about their souls. Quite disturbing what goes on in churches though. God sees.
What a wonderful woman 💗 What a beautiful, wise and smart person
Simp. She abused him verbally then put on her soft-spoken act.
@@soundexperience5179 I'm sorry, what do you mean by that ? She abused him ??
@@user-ru1ki
I know what the answer is because Jesus is watching us, and if anyone, Woman or Man makes a mistake
In life he or she has to Answer to Jesus.....You expect Marriage to last a Long time and have
Responsibilities, but life goes on....Heavenly Father in Jesus name I know you are in Control of
Everyone and I thank you Jesus for Loving us, I give you praise and the honor and the glory for it in Jesus
Name I pray amen....
@@glennbeckwith6098 I believe so as well
I was married for 30 years tooo Long in this Situation ,divorced for 10 years-the Healing process needs time🙏✊️🎁
Maybe he got demons... If they are both believers, have they try to deliver?
When it's so horrible the last thing that matters is staying alive, you run because life isn't offering anything anymore, just torture.
My mom went through this also, she eventually died in his care.
Edit: at the age of 59, in 2014.
I'm so sorry. I pray peace from Jesus for you in Jesus name.
I was fortunate in that the counselor at my church didn't "tell me what to do" but gently guided me to see the situation for what it was. I had questioned my perceptions so much so that I couldn't see just how dangerous it/he was. I got away from that man relatively quickly compared to others.
Abusers don't change
They don't change, only Jesus Christ will change if he or she truly ask Jesus Christ to.
@@daniel__shal if a person submitted completely to Jesus Christ, I promise you that he will do it. He said this on the cross just before he died, he said: it's finished. He conquer everything and crucified all sins and sickness...etc on the cross.
@@daniel__shal The abuser himself has to ask God to change him. If someone doesn't wholeheartedly want to change and don't ask God to do so, he will not be able to change.
He pushed me twice when I was pregnant and he also choked me and pushed me on the bed many times. I left him. He was also adulterous.
Currently going thru this
Jesus saved me to from my marriage I was very young any time wait on I started to go into deep depression and one night going to take my own life but Jesus saved me I am a divorced woman nail and I hope and Pray and I'll leave it all in God's hands getting married again one day with a lovely born-again Christian men who will love me and respect me I will respect him just sit back and be quiet in listen to the lord Jesus Christ
Hello Rosie😊🤝🤝
Hello Rosie, I want to say a prayer for you if I may, heavenly father in Jesus name I pray for Rosie
I ask you Jesus to bless her from the top of her head down to the souls of her feet and I thank you Jesus ,
Lord Jesus you know the circumstances that goes on in people's lives, I will tell Rosie that I'm a single
Man, I am not ashamed of it either, and you know Jesus that no one is perfect, not women and men
And what I hear these days on the news or RUclips, there's a lot of sin in this world and no one sees it yet
And I pray for Rosie that you can reveal the truth to Rosie Lord Jesus....Thank you Jesus for Saving Rosie
In Jesus name I pray Amen.....
You know to reveal some things to you is Paul was a single man and he Loved Jesus very much
But I know people do have a choice, There's no perfect Marriage in this society today, Divorce rate
Could be high, even crime rate might be on the rise, you know about Covid going on and so much
Other stuff going on but I pray that you would be safe, nothing wrong being Single, but I believe
One day when Jesus comes back for us, we will be with Jesus forever because Jesus loves you more
In Jesus name I pray Amen....
Thank you for explaining this, just because we don’t call the police doesn’t mean we’re not abused, just because we present a happy life, doesn’t mean it really was, and just because we didn’t stick it to the abuser in court if we finally get the strength to leave (strength but we’re still in tremendous fear) doesn’t mean we’re not abused. “If he abused you why didn’t you tell the judge and why didn’t you stick it to him with child support when the judge offered it, why did you say no child support?” Why? Because child support is another form of control for these people, they question where your money goes, or they bribe you.. no money if you don’t do XYZ, I didn’t tell the judge because it would have made an already fearful situation more dangerous, if I tell the truth.. now he knows everyone knows, and he has nothing left to lose, doesn’t want to live anymore and definitely doesn’t want you to live anymore. It’s so frustrating. Real abuse you can tell between a person exaggerating the truth and a person who is equally abusive and toxic, and the differences someone who is petrified of a real abusive situation.
Hope to are getting help and in a safe place.
If you are not Please please go to safety.
You are a Pearl of great price and Jesus loves you more than life itself..
Christianity is not something we wear on our sleeve, but something we wear in our hearts.
You know a tree by its fruit. Your ex has not produced the fruits of Christ.
May you stay in The Lord, who is your Father and your Best Friend. He loves you most.
That,s not Christianity , thats an unstable personality. When I told my priest what my marriage was like my marriage was like, he said " he,s a fraud, divorce him.
I think she's gorgeous
So is Jesus and he is beautiful amen
RUN RUN RUN AND DON'T LOOK BACK.!!!!!!!
I spent twenty years coping with an abusive marriage before I could figure it out and leave my Christian marriage. I can identify with everything you are saying. Praise the Lord, I'm receiving my healing.
My wife is a "Spiritual Narcissists". Very Pushy/Preachy with everyone. Irate with me and kids being embarrassed by it. She prays in tongues ANGRILY at home as a way of shutting everyone down, and exalting herself above the rest of us. Complains constantly about wanting to Preach and have a 'Ministry' instead of Parenting and Housework. She interrupts everyone constantly. She especially hates my parents and relatives. Complains that its my fault that "we" don't have friends.
You need to make a plan to get out & take the kids with you
@@anned8575 Yes, I know you're right. I'm still working on how to make that happen.
@@KenPotter family support, get them involved, pick a moving day & have them over, along with friends, the longer this goes on the worse for the kids ....don't let it slide, you will also need to make sure that you get a protective order or VPO.....do not let her make the first move- You will regret it !!! Always make sure to be the first one to make a move.
Get a notebook and start documenting after you are out.....helps in court
@@anned8575 Thank you!
Sounds like a religious spirit of control.
Going to doctors for help is a waste of time and money. Go to the Source, Jesus Christ only.
And to others who can help you... They are part of Jesus help
¡¡AMEN!!👍
You can’t love someone into wellness!
I learned that the hard way too.
When I was at the end of myself I asked God to help me and to
Show me what to do, and I heard an audible voice saying “Leave them”, and he meant to leave his whole family because their true colors came out after I left. God even gave me a date when I asked Him when I should leave. He told me to leave by Passover. Talk about exodus.
oh well my x was in the worship band very active in church. HE BROKE MY JAW. I had my mouth wired.
Ohhh no ! That hurts my heart to hear such a thing. I had a cell phone broke on my head
Heavenly father in Jesus name I pray for G. Hope I ask you Jesus to Heal her jaw
and restore it in Jesus name I pray Amen.....I believe in miracles because I believe in
Jesus Amen
G Hope Mine was, too! I left b4 the hitting started...
@@floridagirl5250
Heavenly father in Jesus name I pray for this nice young lady that you would heal her Jaw
Restore her jaw and I thank you Jesus, bless her in Jesus name I pray Amen ♥️♥️
i hope u sued him for damages and pain suffering etc n he got chgd by police for felony assault n got kicked out of church went to jail! DONT TELL ME U DID NOTHING!!!
Oh, yes! 9.5 yrs almost killed me in front of 4 & 5 yrs old daughters screaming/crying in terror.
Baby asleep @ other end of house. Later, children began to be physically threatened. Took children & left with communication/help from senior pastor. Left in Fall 1981. Learned in 2021 what a narcissist is!! God truly keeps His Word & protects by His Holy Spirit. Long challenging journey raising 3 daughters but God has been so faithful with Truth/Life! Hallelujah! Shalom! Numbers 6:24-26; 2Timothy 1:7; Psalm 91; Philippians 4! Ephesians 6! Micah 6:8!!
Kindly pray for me cz am a also in a physically abusive marriage ,even just yesterday it happened and i hv lost all of my self esteem and Worth
Its everywhere, every gender, every class, race, everywhere. I used to get beaten as a child and listen to my mother getting beaten. It escalates. The doctor in the video was non gender specific in her words, thank youon .. presenter, be careful with your words, saying "you were like so many women", she was also like so many men .. it's not gender specific .. men have a very hard time leaving too. I had a terribly hard time leaving my ex wife and my last long term ex. Everything the doctor said is completely true, including how our body gets ill. And .. I prayed with my long term ex partner .. who was abusing me. I was abused at work, by female and male. I lost everything, and at 55 I am still struggling to recover in many ways. Dr, thank you. Presenter, please present as non gender specific so as to validate men and not enable female abusers.
I did appreciate that this women pointed out there are many women and men in the same situation. Because men can suffer abuse.
So true
So glad she was able to get out of a false Christian home.
Thanks for bringing this story of wise-courage not simply any courage. Ramona's experiences are such an inspiration.
Forget the Christian bit..... He's abusive - leave.... It took me 10 years and eventually I had to run away.
My pastor at the time told me just to pray - I was afraid.... I never went back to church..... They certainly didn't help me, or my husband for that matter
Pray for me please 🙏🏻
I will pray for you.
People are so eager to throw the word "Christian" around. People use it in a non-fitting way. If your husband was a true Christian, this would not have happened.
The devil send that man to you that was not Christ almighty. The devil wanted to destroy you by using that man.
They use the word Christian so you will let your defenses down. The dope heads starting using Jesus like that too. He is a narcissist just like my ex is. Narcissist is a nice name for people loaded with demons. The church is no help. At least they wasn’t for me. Neither was the court system. Only Jesus helped me.
You just never know who you live with? Love yourself first and spend a long time getting to know your mate before committing to a marriage. Always have an exit plan when you feel the first blow or mental abuse. Take the exit immediately. Bad people do exist.
Sometimes it doesn’t show until after marriage or a child or a major life changing decision comes.
I had the same problem in my marriage. My girls and I had to leave.
I want you to know that even when everyone else fails to love you, God loves you. No one can change that. God will never leave you nor forsake you. God will be with you always.
We just want to try one more time
We want to love people to wellness
Leaving is dangerous
Abuse is not a couple's issue but the abuser's
Lots of wolves in the church. Why don't they leave? *looks over at the churches shaming divorce and pushing "pray/fight for your marriage" babble*
This isn't just a women's issue. Men and children deal with this stuff too.
Did she find a new spouse ? I got out of an abusive 20 year marriage he works for a mega church and he is a sociopath my daughter took her life and the abuse continues by proxy they hate to see you leave and thrive.
It is no reason to give up. My Aunt had this problem also with her drinking husband. BUT did she run away? No, she prayed for him, and he'd eventually reprent of drinking and abuse. God is greater than all pain
All the while their children got affected with wound and hurt. Most likely become abuser or victim of abuse tipically. Better to live separately and raise your kid in safe environment. But still forgive him and pray for his salvation. Need discernment
There will be two Benjamin in Israel and no government is selected , the MESSIAH is Right around the corner - Rabbi Yitzchak Kaduri ! KING 👑 JESUS 👑 IS COMING.
It’s not always the man who is an abuser but also the woman. There is no difference in the way they do it! My former wife tried two times to kill me. The first time when I was sitting on the sofa and held my 1 year old daughter in my arm. She came from behind with a scarf and tried to strangle me. As a born again Christian I do not hurt others and when I could free my and my daughter I to escape the staircase down with my daughter on my arms. That moment she pushed us down the staircase and we fell down the whole stairs. That moment my only thought was to protect my daughter and in which I succeeded. I used my body as a shield for her.
Fortunately I’m out of this toxic relationship. Don’t believe believe people saying that they are Christians if they don’t act like Christ!
Sometimes the devil comes as an angel of light!
Same Story of mine X husband
I’m involved in law enforcement and have seen women who have restraining orders allow a husband back in there home because they sweet talked the woman, she had a cast on arm from a couple of weeks ago when he broke her arm, he was back at his abusive behavior again. Get out he’s not worth it and I don’t care if your pastor tells you you can’t divorce. Invite the abusive guy to live with you and see how well you handle it!!!!
If it is abusive it is not truly a Christian marriage. Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,
Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.
Ephesians 5:28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;
If it was abusive it wasn't Christian.
I haven't watched the video yet, but just looking at these comments, looks like he was Christian because everyone's a Christian today. He wasn't a Believer.
Christian?!?! I think not!
Thank you for this story. It’s very encouraging.
Hello Rebecca😊😊🤝🤝