She lived a life of luxuries. Behind the facade were an abusive father and husband.

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  • Опубликовано: 23 дек 2024

Комментарии • 1,3 тыс.

  • @erinnicole477
    @erinnicole477 3 года назад +14

    I want to be like this woman. Positive, calm and at peace. She reminds me of my own mom

    • @terrymaxwell2920
      @terrymaxwell2920 3 года назад +4

      Thank you Erin, trust me I am not "always' that way. One day at a time...

  • @tammieproffitt464
    @tammieproffitt464 5 лет назад +265

    What a beautiful sweetheart! No trace of bitterness...amazing lady

    • @beatricedesire4943
      @beatricedesire4943 5 лет назад +8

      Strong and great personality!😏😏😏😏😏😏

    • @ShesTexan
      @ShesTexan 4 года назад +4

      She is a joy! Bless her and I hope she is happy now.

    • @spookyboi7645
      @spookyboi7645 4 года назад +1

      Right ????? Crazy

    • @calliope4293
      @calliope4293 2 года назад +1

      God knows everything about us and more. His plans for us are always for peace and out of love - never for our destruction. God has always been concerned about saving His children, and save His children He did. What a loving Father we have found in the Almighty God.

  • @luuu8871
    @luuu8871 5 лет назад +85

    I was married to an abusive husband for 31 years, my two daughters want nothing to do with me, I know how much it hurts. Thanks for being brave ..growing up I honestly never remember anyone being that nice to me. My faith is really the only thing that carried me through the tough years.

    • @rebeccaletford2611
      @rebeccaletford2611 4 года назад +7

      I'm glad you shared your story. It will give others in similar situations hope to escape, including myself. I believe certain men are able to manipulate people and it feels like you are the one who see's them for who and what they really are. It is such a shame you have had to lose your daughters over this man. I really hope your wrong will be put right.

  • @haleyguerrier9675
    @haleyguerrier9675 3 года назад +17

    Really enjoyed you sharing your story. I grew up with 2 alcoholic parents and while they never abused me, the atmosphere was very toxic. I found Al-Anon at age 21 and it changed my life. Learning to rely on my God and myself as well as to only have expectations on myself (vs others) and to set boundaries changed my outlook on everything and has shown me how to have a peaceful, positive life. I’m 52 now and still rely on what I learned so many years ago.

    • @terrymaxwell2920
      @terrymaxwell2920 3 года назад +1

      Great post Haley...I am 62 and I am most grateful for my higher power every day and throughout the day. I have been most blessed in my later years.

  • @patriciastockdale197
    @patriciastockdale197 4 года назад +72

    How many women is she representing? Wonderful lady. “The abuser never leaves.”

  • @Mae-bu2wu
    @Mae-bu2wu 6 лет назад +633

    She is such a positive women in spite of what she went through. Her face is just like a bright light even though she is talking about such a harsh time in her life.

  • @snippetsordinarylife
    @snippetsordinarylife 4 года назад +23

    You come across as such a calm and peaceful person.
    I feel like crying just listening to the part about your son. I had 2 sons with a very abusive man. The first one also became a drug addict. The second one (last time I heard) finished university. Both treat me with the same disrespect their father treated me with, because that is what he taught them. My ex died 5 years ago, but the bad relationships with my sons continues. I got to a stage where I just decided I did not deserve the way my children were treating me. I was a good mother who did my best to try and protect them from their father, although I did not fully succeed. I also understood that the anger they feel against me for not protecting them better against their dad, may be the deeper reason for their treatment of me.
    Of everything I went through, nothing hurts like the fact that my sons rejected me. Anyone who is in an abusive relationship, should try and understand how much damage this relationship will do to the kids. That you will heal, but the kids will have a much harder time of it. That you should understand that the father will poison the children against you, as a final way of spiting you and getting to you. My ex told someone he will make sure I will have no relationship with my children. He knew that was where it would hurt the most. And sadly the children hurt and hurt through it all.

  • @sds9781
    @sds9781 4 года назад +64

    Her mother closed her eyes to the abuse. Her lavish life was more important. Just as responsible for this tragic story.

    • @sandraserles
      @sandraserles 2 года назад +4

      Oh my God!!!

    • @Jane-rc2rk
      @Jane-rc2rk Год назад

      Have you not understood how abuse works? Her mum was probably terrified of him too.

    • @joannearonetz7527
      @joannearonetz7527 Год назад

      She even said we had beautiful boat..So?

    • @snookies1224
      @snookies1224 Год назад +3

      you've got no idea how this abuse works. I am a survivor.

    • @Jane-rc2rk
      @Jane-rc2rk Год назад +1

      @@snookies1224 so am I.

  • @indiracamotim2858
    @indiracamotim2858 5 лет назад +136

    If I had not gone through this for 30 years with a narcissist husband, I would not believe this beautiful lady with a calm voice. There is an inner peace inside her that shines out.
    You have really healed from it all. Blessings to you, my dear. ♥️♥️🌟

    • @maureendoyle6632
      @maureendoyle6632 5 лет назад +8

      I don't think she will ever be healed BUT SHE IS A SURVIVOR the scars are internal mental. AMAZING THAT SHE WAS ABLE TO KEEP UP WITH THE BUSINESS /BETTER TO BE ALONE (SOMETIMES DIFFICULT)THAN IN AN UNHAPPY OR ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

    • @indiracamotim2858
      @indiracamotim2858 5 лет назад

      Naomi Brown - trolling ???????

    • @terrymaxwell2920
      @terrymaxwell2920 5 лет назад +8

      My husband was tested by a psychiatrist during our separation. He was diagnosed as being a narcissist.

    • @lourdesprudencio5647
      @lourdesprudencio5647 3 года назад +1

      Me too.....

    • @benjamin54yisrael3
      @benjamin54yisrael3 3 года назад

      She has Millions, that's got to feel good. She can afford to be soft-spoken with Millions.😂😂😂

  • @miriampoole4037
    @miriampoole4037 5 лет назад +225

    You are a beautiful person, you are a example of strength and dignity.

  • @redwoods7370
    @redwoods7370 4 года назад +43

    She's the one who made the million-dollar business with a new baby. Meanwhile, he's high most of the day, working one or two hours a day and criticizing her. She's an amazing woman.

    • @terrymaxwell2920
      @terrymaxwell2920 4 года назад +2

      Carolus Thank you Carolus...no one has ever said that. ❤️🙏❤️

    • @StepHanie-fb9nn
      @StepHanie-fb9nn 4 года назад +3

      Carolus what weed does to people...slowing down mentally and physically. Fact.
      And yes: this lady is full of grace and forgiveness. ❤️

  • @annewelch1260
    @annewelch1260 5 лет назад +277

    Can never understand how a father can have sex with his daughter. Why dont mothers realise that they must be protective of their own daughters. As a mother I would have to notice something. He should be locked up.

    • @WindDancer435
      @WindDancer435 5 лет назад +42

      Most women do indeed know that their child is being sexually abused. They simply deny it, ignore it and pretend to the world that all is ok because they dont want to reveal themselves to the public as less than perfect. At all costs, they must maintain a facade. Shame isn't it?

    • @irenemax3574
      @irenemax3574 5 лет назад +20

      I think the power of denial is very strong, especially if you are witnessing something very revolting. (I have often wondered how the adults in my life apparently saw nothing) But after watching a documentary about a man who had molested his sons, their friends, and his students, and hearing his wife relate that when the police showed her his collection of child pornography, she could not see it because her mind had created blindness, I immediately understood that her brain had needed to protect her from the reality of her situation. I know it really sucks for the unprotected children, but I think it may explain why so many adults turn a blind eye, literally, to what is going on in front of them. And maybe sometimes, people who have had experience of molestation don’t trust their instinct if they see what they think is an adult behaving inappropriately with a child, because they think, I’m overreacting because of my history.

    • @nancynahnigoh3550
      @nancynahnigoh3550 5 лет назад +4

      Noel Noel the karma will pay for these men

    • @ViolaHGlaze
      @ViolaHGlaze 4 года назад +13

      Anne Welch ...incest is horrific but it's just as damaging for mom to realize it's going on and she fails to protect her child. Sadly, her mother likely knew but didn't want to disrupt things in her life.

    • @dawnemile4974
      @dawnemile4974 4 года назад +7

      @Noel Noel To the police. It is all coming out now about religious institutions and famous individuals and their downfall will be great.

  • @Saucyakld
    @Saucyakld 6 лет назад +342

    Wish my Mother had left my abusive violent father!

    • @recoveringsoul755
      @recoveringsoul755 6 лет назад +14

      Did you not listen? She did leave. And the abusive violent narcissist stole her children. This is standard practice for these personality disordered types. Parental alienation. It is so much more than "Just verbal abuse". so if your mom left, it's likely the abuser would have gotten custody. Happened to me. But I wasn't allowed to work or have friends.

    • @carolellamuch9571
      @carolellamuch9571 6 лет назад +22

      Recovering Soul you need to apologize for not reading her comment

    • @MissEddieBlueKawaiiKrafts
      @MissEddieBlueKawaiiKrafts 5 лет назад +13

      belinda hawkins I understand the miscommunication here. Recovering sole is trying to say that maybe if that persons mothers had left the abusive father would have gotten custody.
      I trying to work up the courage to leave, but I have be brainwashed for years into believing if I did leave I would lose my child. In fact if I had no child I would have left long ago, it is my son that had kept up together. He uses my son as a pawn to keep me. The threats of losing my son are many. Especially if the abuser succeeds in getting you on drugs/weed. He will tell you if you leave they will take your child away because you smoke Mary Jane. If I was not afraid of losing my son I would have left. Please know that if your mother didn’t leave you were probably her main reason for doing so. She didn’t want to lose you so she kept the awful secret to herself & prayed to god each night you would not be affected. I’m so sorry, I hope my son knows how much I love him... I am going to try to get away before he makes us anymore insane, but it’s really really hard. Especially when he starts waiting on us hand & foot as soon as he finds out we are leaving & has an inexplicable way of making me look like the crazy one. When in fact I have never burnt a bridge in my life, whereas he leaves a path of fire behind him everywhere he goes.
      For me it has been 11 years in this sick relationship that I never wanted to be in. I never wanted to be with my husband, there was no honeymoon phase. He stalked me from the beginning & my father knows it because I was living with him at the time. We did call the police & have him removed once. The next day there was a rose stuck in my front door, I wish my dad had thrown it out... after we had our son he told me any call to the police was an automatic call to CAS/CPS & that they would take my son, he etched this in my brain day after day & I still believe it & it terrifies me. If there was no such thing as CPS I would call the police right now & have him gone. But I will not risk losing my child. I have been brainwashed that all “workers”, doctors, nurses & authorities are against me & WILL take me child. Yet somehow knowing I am brainwashed doesn’t change anything or make me less scared. I think I am brainwashed for life. About a year ago my hair started to far out, I am not even 40 years old. At 34 I had a mini stroke, since being in this relationship I have developed cysts all over my insides & had appendicitis, been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder & suffer constant panic attacks. I have no doubt it’s the stress he causes that did all of this to me. I have been fighting some strange illness since October, in my throat/neck. I’ve now lost the ability to eat solid food. I’m going to the hospital today. I have plans to finally leave him this week. It’s funny that I should have to go to a shelter, meanwhile he gets to stay here in my family’s million dollar home. It’s not fair... but I can’t let it stop me. They can remove him once I’m gone. I am not allowed to use face book instagram or show my face on my RUclips channel. He has parental restriction locks on my phone so I can’t access certain websites & for awhile I didn’t know & thought my phone was broken & was forced to do my online shopping from the laptop. I am also not allowed to have friends or leave the house without my husband or a family member. Definitely not a sister tho (cuz women are sluts of course.. oh & lesbians never to be left alone) he calls random women ugly & pigs & fat. Some of the women are prettier than me, so what must he think of me? I still remember the sick feeling I got the first time I heard him call a random stranger, a woman a pig. Ok I better stop. If you still don’t see my face on my channel & it’s been over a year it means I did not make it out. I swear this is it tho, I won’t let him kill me. I am so desperate
      Please do not be mad at your mom, we are all suffering from “captors” syndrome. Good luck to anyone reading this, I hope you can escape & find peace & know real love ❤️

    • @annabellabells6647
      @annabellabells6647 5 лет назад

      Hey leave an essay why don't you...🤔🙄😬

    • @Gucci8857
      @Gucci8857 5 лет назад +12

      And I wish my father had left my abusive violent mother!

  • @deejeff8846
    @deejeff8846 5 лет назад +201

    Her son will regret turning his back on his mother

    • @tonirad9577
      @tonirad9577 5 лет назад +16

      trucker wrecker Hopefully. But the sad truth is, he may never regret it . She has yet to see what really goes on in that young mans head.

    • @thezmanchar
      @thezmanchar 5 лет назад +6

      trucker wrecker did you listen to the entire story before you decided to give your opinion. She said that she did speak to him, and if you want to know more than listen to her entire story.

    • @nicelady51
      @nicelady51 5 лет назад +3

      Word for word, the same happened with my son. I felt like he was living a life practically parallel to mine, except I don't make a ton of money. I'm better at spending it, I guess. My son is 27. He started smoking weed at 15 when he went to live with his Dad. His Dad is hard-working and made a very good living. Bad part was that he went to work in the afternoon until wee hours of the morning. My son loved not having an adult around. His reason for smoking weed is that it is his tool for anger management. All the years I spent teaching him there was plenty of other things to do with your life than drugs, went out the window. I keep trying and I will never give up. He used to say: If it's not one thing, it's your mother! And, "Mmmm, pink in the middle! Just the way I like it!!" every time I put chicken in front of him. I miss his humor. I miss him.

    • @karenfridie689
      @karenfridie689 4 года назад +7

      Not if hes a NARC like his father who manipulated him from childhood.

    • @karenfridie689
      @karenfridie689 4 года назад +14

      @@tonirad9577 He's been brainwashed by the sicko father

  • @margaretdrew6093
    @margaretdrew6093 6 лет назад +116

    I am 73 years and have been so lucky in my life I have never had any violence like this .

    • @sarahdixon6011
      @sarahdixon6011 5 лет назад +9

      Ditto, well I'm 50 and have also never experienced violence like this. I thank God, and feel for the women who have, WOMEN BE STRONG TOGETHER.

    • @thezmanchar
      @thezmanchar 5 лет назад +2

      So what are the two of you contributing to this story. Who cares if you never experienced all of this, it’s ridiculous. And the 23 that gave a thumbs up are just as stupid as the two of you.

    • @sarahdixon6011
      @sarahdixon6011 5 лет назад +13

      @@thezmanchar Oh. 'Interesting' comment, what by the way are YOU adding to the conversation?

    • @nancynahnigoh3550
      @nancynahnigoh3550 5 лет назад +5

      Congrats for you dear

    • @tinapoucher7406
      @tinapoucher7406 5 лет назад +5

      My grandma was always on guard and taught me to protect my kids.

  • @genniejefferson1892
    @genniejefferson1892 6 лет назад +183

    You were the best mother you could be.

    • @terrymaxwell2920
      @terrymaxwell2920 5 лет назад +9

      Gennie Jefferson I truly believe that. ❤️

    • @0906blue
      @0906blue 5 лет назад

      I don't know the other side of the story.

    • @beatricedesire4943
      @beatricedesire4943 5 лет назад +1

      I agreed!😏

    • @kathyh4804
      @kathyh4804 4 года назад +1

      It’s hard to be a parent and raise successful children when you are raised in a severely abusive childhood
      Thank God my children all are marvelous and successful happy adults!

    • @james-le2rs
      @james-le2rs 4 года назад

      She is nutsy cuckoo

  • @MsOliveLeaf
    @MsOliveLeaf 6 лет назад +423

    Most of us watching can relate to your pain. I went through some hard times and had to do it by myself. Then on my way home from a counselor's office I stopped at a store (Marcs) and found a coffee mug in closeouts that said "Trust in the Lord". I have never seen a mug like that in that particular store so I bought it. I knew that was the message for me all along. Found out I can't rely on people, not even family, not money or anything but Jesus is "always" there for me and He will never let me down.

    • @manichairdo6346
      @manichairdo6346 6 лет назад +35

      That is awesome. Made me cry. I left a difficult home, unnanounced, aged 17. I hitched 400 miles. 80 miles into the journey I saw a poster on a country chapel wall...Thank God for the past and trust him with the future. So, I did. I was in a fish lorry...eek. But, 50 years later, I can testify God is still with me where I go, everywhere I go. Yay!

    • @sereneflatun
      @sereneflatun 6 лет назад +12

      MsOliveLeaf i loved reading this sister 🌸💕

    • @susannabonke8552
      @susannabonke8552 6 лет назад +8

      thank you so much for trusting.

    • @tangerinesky3336
      @tangerinesky3336 6 лет назад +2

      MsOliveLeaf
      Al-Anon changed my life. No mug ever could do that.

    • @brendadrew834
      @brendadrew834 6 лет назад +7

      When one goes through something like this one needs to connect spiritually. One has to get the body/mind and spirit in balance, which is basically the Holy Trinity whether one believes in God, Jesus, Buddha etc. because we all have that body/mind and spirit connection. It's the disconnect of those three that causes illness and emotional pain in life. "We're all spirits having a human experience'...Wayne Dyer.

  • @zoraxye4325
    @zoraxye4325 6 лет назад +159

    You are a very courageous woman. It is incomprehensible that your father, a "professor" and pillar of the community, abused you from 8 - 12. That is beyond disturbing. You have such presence and strength. I can't relate to anything in your story on a personal basis but I know friends who were molested by family members. The impact has been devastating. I'm sure you're empowering thousands of viewers.

    • @amberlilly4101
      @amberlilly4101 6 лет назад +13

      I have said many times that this kind of thing has been going on down thru the centuries, we are just now hearing about it. There are many others that are accomplished well known people that have done the same thing. You would be shocked. There are groups of people who take young people to the elite and politicians who use them for sex and then the group, that took them there, will turn around and blackmail them for money not to let the cat out of the bag. I worked with an young women who was very involved in the church with her parents and the youth minister ask her to stay after church that he wanted to pray with her and in doing so he said he had to put his hands on her and when he did he was, feeling her, in a sexual way. When she told her parents they didn't believe her and said to her "he couldn't have done that he is a devout christian and minister" So you can imagine how that made her feel. It's everywhere, especially, in places like church, boy scouts because of their high standing position and access to young people.

    • @rebeccamendez2691
      @rebeccamendez2691 6 лет назад +2

      @@amberlilly4101 how horrible - how great that it's not in every church

    • @terrymaxwell2920
      @terrymaxwell2920 5 лет назад +3

      Zora, thank you for your share...

    • @robyndismon394
      @robyndismon394 5 лет назад +3

      @@rebeccamendez2691 How can u be so certain that its 'not in every church'? I would bet u a dime 2 a dollar it probably IS in more churches than u could conceive.

    • @eviesmail5447
      @eviesmail5447 5 лет назад +4

      It’s always the powerful who abuse

  • @robyndismon394
    @robyndismon394 5 лет назад +170

    How in the name of God does a father get AWAY with this? And why is no one outraged? The comments just seem so 'whatever' as if though childhood sexual abuse is just 'one of those things'. Where is the justice here?Was her father ever confronted?

    • @terrymaxwell2920
      @terrymaxwell2920 5 лет назад +12

      Robyn Dismon I'll be sharing what played out up till today...

    • @beatricedesire4943
      @beatricedesire4943 5 лет назад +8

      Because society is so blind by reality!🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨

    • @tammybarnes9436
      @tammybarnes9436 5 лет назад +8

      Different time . Mothers turned a blind eye . I dont think they knew what too do

    • @Robocamp19
      @Robocamp19 5 лет назад +24

      Why oh why do men think they are so f******superior. Most men are overbearing pains in the arse that need to grow up and learn to live equally with their partners. Enough is enough

    • @tanyawins
      @tanyawins 5 лет назад +2

      Robyn Dismon 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

  • @bonniebester606
    @bonniebester606 5 лет назад +214

    There really is no Winning with a Narcissist!!!

  • @danielletripkoff4199
    @danielletripkoff4199 5 лет назад +141

    I am so sorry to hear that you were abused and also about your son rejecting you!! That's so sad!!!

    • @beverleygribble1577
      @beverleygribble1577 5 лет назад +11

      Hi Terry, I've studied adult male Asperger's for 30 years and you describe the characteristics and traits of the Jekyll and Hyde Asperger male. To others he wears the facade of a nice man, but to those closest, the chaos is painful. Wish you well and glad you escaped. The promises were so real weren't they? that's why it took 25 years.

    • @nancynahnigoh3550
      @nancynahnigoh3550 5 лет назад +4

      It is okay if the son rejected her cos she raised her son so good not her son took good care of this beautiful woman , you see the karmas followed her son and her ex , it is true

  • @marciawalden
    @marciawalden 6 лет назад +160

    You never know what people have gone through, it’s easy to hide behind a mask.

    • @nancynahnigoh3550
      @nancynahnigoh3550 4 года назад +2

      Marcia Walden don't hide behind the mask break up through it , stay healthy and happy , move on start from scratch to the bright future

    • @nancynahnigoh3550
      @nancynahnigoh3550 4 года назад

      Michelle Baratta you mean go back go with the ex that abuse his wife or girlfriend , yes give him some space one or all , that space he got is left him forever and stat a new life , that should the space giving to him , any woman leaving that space is fantastic , free , happy and healthy minds and have more bright future waiting for them ( women ) , I am going to say to them millions congrats after leaving those abusers , millions thank you for saving their lives freedom

    • @michaelgregory3079
      @michaelgregory3079 4 года назад +2

      All of humanity is hiding behind a mask.

    • @vikkievenden9988
      @vikkievenden9988 4 года назад +1

      I don’t believe it easy to hide behind a mask , in fact it extremely difficult to keep up the pretence takes every bit of strength you’ve got to stop any shit seeping through and to appear “ normal”

    • @lioydwilliams1850
      @lioydwilliams1850 4 года назад +1

      Marcia Walden, hope you are with a good husband!

  • @ernarc23
    @ernarc23 4 года назад +28

    It's interesting -- and tragic -- how a father and family of origin can groom you for other abusive relationships; we tend to normalize the abnormal early on. This affected me deeply. Thank you for sharing it. xo

    • @michelesmith9880
      @michelesmith9880 Год назад +2

      Great comment!!

    • @ernarc23
      @ernarc23 Год назад

      @@michelesmith9880 ❤

    • @nichmon3221
      @nichmon3221 Год назад

      EXACTLY!!! It wasn't until I married an abusive man at 31 years old and subsequently got help, that I finally realized my own dad was abusive. I thought I was the problem,...that their behavior was normal. Both my sisters would get mad at me for having nothing more to do with my dad after I realized it. They thought he just hung the moon!

    • @shawnmendrek3544
      @shawnmendrek3544 Год назад

      Good for you. This is awesome.@@nichmon3221

  • @jgilbertson636
    @jgilbertson636 4 года назад +29

    She's smiling while she talks about her son not coming home. Traumatized dissociation. I do this too. 😌

    • @terrymaxwell2920
      @terrymaxwell2920 4 года назад +5

      Julia Grant so, that is what it is called. Thank you...❤️🙏❤️

  • @jeanettebird2739
    @jeanettebird2739 4 года назад +10

    Despite going through abuse she is so positive and serene . She has not let this destroy her . Still, a heartbreaking story ❤️

    • @msdanet31
      @msdanet31 4 года назад

      Jeanette Bird 🙏🏾

  • @manjeetsinghmann3592
    @manjeetsinghmann3592 5 лет назад +22

    OMG! My heart goes out to her. And the amazing grace on her face. Unbelievable how she has come across such a horrible journey. My deepest sympathy and deepbows to her.

  • @nadiraahmed8562
    @nadiraahmed8562 5 лет назад +60

    What amazing lady! Whatever hardship she gone through she’s still smiling that’s what I call faith!! May God bless you

  • @lmhitchcock6945
    @lmhitchcock6945 6 лет назад +160

    Sweetheart are you talking about my life? Omg! Seriously so many similarities. Thank you for your honesty.

    • @terrymaxwell2920
      @terrymaxwell2920 5 лет назад +6

      L' Kat Morin Are things going well for you now?

    • @conversationswithadrianne
      @conversationswithadrianne 5 лет назад +3

      My heart goes out to you

    • @alhoumauritz2419
      @alhoumauritz2419 4 года назад +4

      Im glad im able to walk away from a narcissist ex husband...terrible relationship , great manipulator and excellent liar....God bless him 🙏🙏

    • @cameeldavis487
      @cameeldavis487 4 года назад

      Ladies you must leave your new normal is the departure of the buses train's and planes. Ten years ago i left so can you too.

  • @WinifredElam
    @WinifredElam 6 лет назад +76

    Your story is so moving and enlightening for people who have been in abusive relationships. Your a special woman and strong.Winifred

  • @wasclit11
    @wasclit11 4 года назад +6

    I am grateful I listened all the way to the end. Your story of your life is heart wrenching and I kept hoping that you found happiness in the end and you did. I am a recovering addict with 31 years clean and a disabled Vietnam vet. I have also been going to Nar-anon for 9 years because of my addict sons, an addict granddaughter who is in recovery, and a great granddaughter who is experimenting with drugs. The First Step is -- "We admitted we were powerless over the addict and our lives had become unmanageable." I cannot change the addict, I cannot fix the addict and no matter how much I preach or beg or yell the addict will not change until they make that decision. Remember the three C's - I didn't Cause it - I can't Cure it -- and I can't Control it. I've added a fourth one -- I can contribute to it by enabling. My wife is a recovering prescription addict with 31 years clean and we have 51 years in marriage thanks to recovery and the 12 Steps. I am grateful you found a good man - he found a good woman.

    • @terrymaxwell2920
      @terrymaxwell2920 4 года назад +2

      Love to you...thank you so much for your post. It brought tears to my eyes.

  • @wildflower4795
    @wildflower4795 5 лет назад +62

    I'm sorry that you were sexually abused by someone you were supposed to trust. And in terms if your ex and son, this is what drugs bring to the table. Despair, confusion, heartache, misery. Im glad that you have survived found peace and a good partner. God Bless you

  • @rickwilliams678
    @rickwilliams678 4 года назад +50

    You should be respected. Such a lovely lady ..bless you

  • @sharonsOff
    @sharonsOff 5 лет назад +60

    You always never know exactly what you've been in until you are freed.

  • @willbfreed
    @willbfreed 3 года назад +2

    Thank you, bless you.

  • @psalmantha13
    @psalmantha13 4 года назад +8

    When she got to the saddest part where his son left, her bright smile is just so painful to watch.

  • @angharadswansea9343
    @angharadswansea9343 6 лет назад +63

    I too married an abusive man, but I left him when my son was 6. He moved far away out of both of our lives, thankfully.
    Unfortunately my son became a drug addict and alcoholic from age 14 to age 34. He was abusive while he was using alcohol and drugs too. My son sobered up December 2013 and he’s grown to be a wonderful man now. He lost 20 years of his life and still has so far to go, but I am thankful every day for his sobriety.
    I blamed myself for my son’s choices but my son tells me none of it was my fault, he takes full responsibility for his drug and alcohol abuse.
    My hope for every parent of a drug addict and/or alcoholic, is that your child finds sobriety and you find peace of mind.
    Never give up hope.

    • @juespennerspencer2475
      @juespennerspencer2475 5 лет назад +4

      I can fully understand Angharad my son lost his best friend in a car crash he turned to drink and drugs lost 12 years of his life and now hes sober goes to drug and alcohol classes on his own back and has moved back with his ex partner with 2 babies I pray everyday thank you God xx true words NEVER GIVE UP

    • @terrymaxwell2920
      @terrymaxwell2920 5 лет назад +5

      Thank you for sharing your life with me. ❤️

  • @sandmot
    @sandmot 6 лет назад +10

    She is one of the most beautiful women I´ve seen recently! How inspiring her story is...Thank you!

  • @luxmeedollie8563
    @luxmeedollie8563 4 года назад +3

    Be in strength beautiful women! I shed a tear at your story.

  • @jamesb.9155
    @jamesb.9155 4 года назад +34

    She is s really smart, fun & interesting lady!

  • @bethwall
    @bethwall 7 лет назад +129

    Thanks for your story. We need to do more on the aging woman facing a crisis in these relationships and alone in poverty. She---was allowed to go to work many are not............

    • @terrymaxwell2920
      @terrymaxwell2920 5 лет назад +13

      A very true statement Elizabeth...❤️

    • @cambridgeminix5704
      @cambridgeminix5704 4 года назад

      I believe positive ppl help by telling their stories, because we all have a story. If you have been taught , then you can teach..there are some places we find ourselves in that we can't find our way out..so we have to be lead out..if you haven't followed you can't lead.

  • @suenathan7236
    @suenathan7236 6 лет назад +199

    You're a beautiful soul sweetheart. I wish you a lifetime of peace and a strong new relationship with your (little boy)

    • @terrymaxwell2920
      @terrymaxwell2920 5 лет назад +10

      Sue Nathan I receive your words Sue...thank you.

  • @ginafinch3307
    @ginafinch3307 4 года назад +3

    Abusive, narcissistic, psychopathic man or woman are given visiting rights from the courts, and THIS should never be allowed. Very often courts do not recognize that putting children in the hands of perpetrators is destroying a new budding life.

  • @garvini3400
    @garvini3400 6 лет назад +107

    Dearest, may God bless you and your son!

  • @juanitarichards1074
    @juanitarichards1074 6 лет назад +27

    Once the narcissist/psychopath exerts influence over your kids you have already lost them. It's too late. And if you let them back into your life they will take you down with them. Been there done that.

    • @terrymaxwell2920
      @terrymaxwell2920 5 лет назад +4

      Juanita Richards I hope things are better for you...

  • @apostlelshelly9900
    @apostlelshelly9900 6 лет назад +52

    A serious and awesome story. God Bless.......

  • @ursulaabrahams1935
    @ursulaabrahams1935 6 лет назад +36

    Not many women are strong , believe me course i have been there , u are an amazingly strong woman , u did what u had to do with strength an determination even though it didnt turn out the way you wanted it but u tried , u has a great attiude about it too , may God Bless you an hope your son comes completely clean..

  • @tamorap1614
    @tamorap1614 5 лет назад +149

    Women wait too much before they leave an abusive husband. 🤔🤔

    • @cocobutterchin6768
      @cocobutterchin6768 5 лет назад +23

      I left my ABUSIVE Narcissistic ex husband within 2 years of our marriage. Luckily for me I had my own money to be able to run away from him. I was too scared of him up till now ,if I look at his pic I will be having panic attack and depressed. I haven't talked or look at his pics in 5 years. I escaped from a crazy man. He tried apologizing to me about now he treated me. I told him to never contact me ever again.

    • @beatricedesire4943
      @beatricedesire4943 5 лет назад +6

      Same I can related I moved git a restraining order and chan my phone number!I thank God jope I never see this monster ever

    • @MariaLuna-fq6xx
      @MariaLuna-fq6xx 5 лет назад

      Tamora P poo h

    • @susansherlock7474
      @susansherlock7474 5 лет назад +11

      That is due to Trauma Bonding, look it up...

    • @valeriabonfio7020
      @valeriabonfio7020 5 лет назад +6

      I definitely agree. Women have to escape right away from an abusive husband.

  • @denacollins352
    @denacollins352 6 лет назад +14

    I did the same thing to save my son and I had the same experience. I just learn to stay strong.

    • @msdanet31
      @msdanet31 4 года назад

      Dena Collins 🙏🏾

  • @dalehoward8352
    @dalehoward8352 5 лет назад +9

    You left your ex to save your son. But you saved yourself as well. Your son will come around gradually. God bless you and your new happy life!

    • @terrymaxwell2920
      @terrymaxwell2920 5 лет назад

      Dale Howard that is exactly what happened. I think he has finally moved out of his fathers house at 27. I did see him once last year and it was very difficult. I am blessed because we have had several real conversations on the phone.

    • @dalehoward8352
      @dalehoward8352 4 года назад

      @@terrymaxwell2920 Good. It will get better between you two💜

  • @adomnti3874
    @adomnti3874 4 года назад +2

    That’s a story so many of us can identify with! I left my narcissistic husband after 19 years of abuse. In a time of healing now and stories like these gives me strength and hope ahead of my journey

    • @terrymaxwell2920
      @terrymaxwell2920 4 года назад +1

      Adom Nti awesome...it has always been about sharing, experience, strength and hope.

    • @pinkpugginz
      @pinkpugginz 2 года назад

      And they always turn the kids against you

  • @inge5627
    @inge5627 5 лет назад +145

    The ex husband is a NARCISIST . Thats why he could manipulate your son.

    • @bluemoon3699
      @bluemoon3699 4 года назад +14

      Yes A good father would not be OK with their kid doing drugs and selling drugs.

    • @lisakelly9180
      @lisakelly9180 4 года назад +2

      So true

    • @nancynahnigoh3550
      @nancynahnigoh3550 4 года назад +3

      He is more crazy than crazy person cos crazy person didn't harm others they living in their own world never bothered of worldly belonging

    • @christabelle3758
      @christabelle3758 4 года назад +4

      Exactly. It is SO SAD, to have children w/a narcissist 💔😔 My childrens' dad is a covert narcissist. Disheartening. Especially our very flawed legal system missing the signs of their insidious manner 💔🙏🏼✝️🛐 ~💜~ Good luck to us all 🙏🏼

    • @christabelle3758
      @christabelle3758 4 года назад +4

      @Mary Little 😔🙏🏼 yes shame on these individuals 😞 They are so driven by ugly mean dark ego, that theyre too caught up on "winning" or striking at their kids mom they hate from their bruised ego, for us having left them. Broken away from their abuse to us, my goodness. Because we finally realized they are too filles with hate, to come through for their Family, as I prayed and prayed he would. He didnt 😔 He just got worse. Abuse got heavier. Too, too much. Too sad. Too painful. Once it escalated to being verbal and physical in front of our sons, my gosh NO MORE. I ended. But his abuse, HAS NOT 😩😞😔 It is a shame that our systems are not educated on the very insidious and masked narcissistic abuse by these dark individuals. N he has no remorse. Instead denies n lies. Driven by revenge and anger, manipulates. Its dark. Its mean. Its sad. I started praying for him again. Bcuz while he thinks he makes me mad or "puts me in my place"... all he is doing is hurting boys and I mentally n emotionally and finished pushing them away. Sad. 🙏🏼✝️🛐🙏🏼

  • @ggbouvier9897
    @ggbouvier9897 3 месяца назад +1

    How awful. So happy that you are a survivor. Well, son off to college and does not communicate much. Acts like he came out of the ground instead of acting like someone with a family.
    Well, thank goodness I have never put any human in the pedestal of my heart. You are a better mother than I am. If I don’t hear or see my son for ten years, he will be dead to me. If he reached out after ten years, I’ll tell him that I am off on a ten year trip and I’ll contact him when I get back. This is so he can learn how abandonment and loneliness feel for a change.

  • @cassandraknight8804
    @cassandraknight8804 4 года назад +3

    I can relate, my children were 3 and 2 when they went missing ( legally missing). We are amazing as mothers, the heart of a mother NEVER stops loving. Thank your for your story and bravery, you are never alone.

  • @dawnemile4974
    @dawnemile4974 4 года назад +2

    I asked someone once why they exhibited negative behaviour although they themselves were abused. She replied: "I am like my parents in some ways you know". This woman has to realize that her son might be more like his father than she would like to acknowledge. She is also quite a bit like her mother in not wanting to face unpleasant facts. I am glad she finally recognized this blind spot.

  • @efstathiagiftopoulos4496
    @efstathiagiftopoulos4496 6 лет назад +30

    My gosh you have done everything right as a mum.
    Wow touched my heart

    • @wordivore
      @wordivore 6 лет назад

      Not really. She stayed too long. It would've been more right to leave sooner.

    • @missfluffydiva2120
      @missfluffydiva2120 5 лет назад +2

      Wordivore Much easier said than done.

  • @marymotherofgod4861
    @marymotherofgod4861 6 лет назад +54

    U give women hope and inspiration I Thk u for ur honesty ur a strong courageous women God bless u ❤️❤️❤️

    • @terrymaxwell2920
      @terrymaxwell2920 5 лет назад +2

      Mary Motherofgod ❤️❤️❤️ to you Mary...

  • @Gadol_Adonai_196
    @Gadol_Adonai_196 6 лет назад +83

    You have been living with a Narcisist Psychopath for quarter of a century, what he has done to you through your son is called Parental Alienation. This is exactly what they do with your children whom you love or anything you love, they destroy it/them to hurt you. You should consider being in a support group for recoving from a narcissist abusive relation and for parental alienation. I have lived your story as a father of my five kids, to whom I was a stay at home dad during the day for 15 years. For the past 5 years I am not allowed to have any relation or contact, It's very painful to say the least.

    • @recoveringsoul755
      @recoveringsoul755 6 лет назад +10

      You nailed it. She is still in denial if she thinks it was only Verbal Abuse. Children siding with the abuser is never good for the children. I'm sorry about your children. The pain is unbearable.

    • @rebeccamendez2691
      @rebeccamendez2691 6 лет назад +5

      @belinda hawkins that is horrible - she finally has someone who is treating her wonderfully

    • @terrymaxwell2920
      @terrymaxwell2920 5 лет назад +3

      I definitely understand that it was parent alienation. It was in the original video but it was edited. I did not know that there was that type of support group available. Thank you for your share and support...

    • @nadadujmovic2180
      @nadadujmovic2180 5 лет назад

      Im so sorry for you

    • @kerrycavanaugh4268
      @kerrycavanaugh4268 5 лет назад

      What is the name of your support group?

  • @ccsworldaustralia4332
    @ccsworldaustralia4332 6 лет назад +51

    Wonderful and beautiful woman, good for her, hope she can reconnect with her son. Keep strong.

    • @dianasmith4530
      @dianasmith4530 5 лет назад

      CC's World AUSTRALIA 22wwêêê4443443344a

  • @efstathiagiftopoulos4496
    @efstathiagiftopoulos4496 6 лет назад +103

    Sad sounds like a narcissist
    Thankyou for sharing god bless you

  • @williesartsdesignscuisines
    @williesartsdesignscuisines 3 года назад +1

    What a beautiful woman....inside out, outside in.....So lovely.👈🏾

  • @hamidj2881
    @hamidj2881 5 лет назад +54

    You are strong & beautiful, thank you for sharing you’re story ma’am ❤️

  • @annecaulder9495
    @annecaulder9495 4 года назад +3

    Wow, I relate to this son situation because I left my ex to save mine. My ex tried to destroy our relationship too. Thank God that my son finally came to me on the day they were evicted from the house. He was 17 at the time. I showed him through my actions who he could count on. Sadly, my ex barely speaks to our son now. We moved across the country to start a new life, my boy and me.

  • @starlingswallow
    @starlingswallow 4 года назад +7

    When someone shows you who they are, believe them 💕

  • @nhyoutube123
    @nhyoutube123 6 лет назад +47

    He was a narcissist

  • @kathyhoskin8350
    @kathyhoskin8350 5 лет назад +16

    You asked where you went wrong. You went wrong by staying 15 years. I've been in the same place - if I stay I'll die. I got out. My son resents his father, not me. I know I was lucky.

  • @broscosmoline
    @broscosmoline 3 года назад +1

    It never ceases to amaze me that a universe of stories can be inside one life. Does anyone know who this corageous woman is?

  • @vidyadhanraj3473
    @vidyadhanraj3473 5 лет назад +4

    Beautiful woman you are. Thanks for sharing your strength. Also, I'm happy that you are healing.

    • @terrymaxwell2920
      @terrymaxwell2920 5 лет назад +1

      Vidya Dhanraj thank you for your kind words Vidya...❤️

  • @lols5509
    @lols5509 4 года назад +2

    She does not deserve all the crap she been threw ,, what a tradgic story married to a guy who addicted to drugs an she doesn't take drugs ! She deserves better an then to put final nail in coffin the father sets the boy up to be a addicted to drugs just like him omg its absolutely awful,,I'm so pleased she found comfort with NA meetings just a shame her boy didn't go with her ! God bless you lovely lady your story is but you keep our spirits up one day I hope you find total peace in your life an to no you are loved by your son I hope is a feeling you feel one day , it breaking heart to no that your boy is being manipulated by his own father to set him up to become a dealer how low can a human being go ,, my heart goes out for this lady

  • @marystar6021
    @marystar6021 5 лет назад +10

    I was spell bound listening to her! Courageous and an inspiration.

  • @danithefiend6167
    @danithefiend6167 4 года назад +1

    What a beautiful lady. Such strength during incredible hardship.

  • @cymbolichuman433
    @cymbolichuman433 5 лет назад +26

    After I left, the sores on my head disappeared.

    • @terrymaxwell2920
      @terrymaxwell2920 5 лет назад +3

      Annabell Mendez yes Annabel...the toxicity manifests in your body. ❤️ I am so happy you are healing...

    • @Redsky5436
      @Redsky5436 4 года назад

      Me too, my whole head would erupt in painful sores.. I was in counseling and he told me I was married to a covert narcissist. I left after 15 years.. I am so happy now.. I no longer have sores on my head..

  • @essex1st
    @essex1st 5 лет назад +2

    I am so sorry you had such a dreadful experience as a child /young woman . It is most disgusting that you were abused in such a way .
    You are a wonderful woman , for you to be able to sit and talk for us this way ,
    I can only tell you how much I admire you .
    Thank you for sharing this with us . God bless you and your loved ones .

  • @donnawoodford8145
    @donnawoodford8145 6 лет назад +5

    I realized that my husband was lying, angry, cheating, controlling. My health was affected adversely. It's frustrating. I didn't know it was abuse either. It's so hard to co-parent. My husband is using our son like a puppet against me. I hope to heal. Thank you for giving hope by telling your story.

    • @lorrainewest7408
      @lorrainewest7408 5 лет назад

      I have been told children are many things but they are not stupid. Given time they make their own judgements. If I had choice of good parent child relationship it would be communication, listening, guidance, love, support.

  • @MargoDawson-s9f
    @MargoDawson-s9f 3 месяца назад +1

    Wonderful woman admire her greatly

  • @newbeginnings1543
    @newbeginnings1543 5 лет назад +15

    You have such a beautiful attitude. God Bless you. Thank you 😊. You educated yourself and are doing the right thing.

    • @teresaduke5290
      @teresaduke5290 5 лет назад +2

      Lisa, that is absolutely correct. Thank you!!

  • @JustMe-qq3rc
    @JustMe-qq3rc 2 года назад +1

    DV does not know socioeconomic boundaries. This can happen to absolutely anyone. Isn't she a blessing! You are a warrior and I wish you all the best now and in the future.

  • @marynyaga4911
    @marynyaga4911 4 года назад +3

    Comes up like a real nice person.
    Hope some day your son comes back home. To a lovely and caring mother.
    Hope he can heal too, from bad influences that the father lead him in to. Forgive himself and his dad. And move on to a better life.

    • @terrymaxwell2920
      @terrymaxwell2920 4 года назад

      mary nyaga this has become a reality Mary. ❤️🙏❤️

  • @paulinecallahan6888
    @paulinecallahan6888 4 года назад +2

    I'm so sorry you went through all of this. One day your son will wake up and realize that you were the better parent. You did the best you could 😊💕 I wish you peace.

    • @terrymaxwell2920
      @terrymaxwell2920 4 года назад +1

      pauline callahan thank you Pauline...time has treated me well...we are corresponding! I am so blessed.

  • @jaceylataire2511
    @jaceylataire2511 5 лет назад +8

    Aaah this is so very similar to what I've gone through... thank you so much for sharing... you're a most beautiful soul and love is surrounding you everywhere!!! ❤️

  • @annasolis7352
    @annasolis7352 3 года назад +2

    Very Beautiful Lady❤️

  • @Lotuslaful
    @Lotuslaful 6 лет назад +6

    I am walking through this now. Finding this is a godsend. Blessings and Gratitude to you.

  • @angelicaannegreen6709
    @angelicaannegreen6709 3 года назад +1

    This woman is gold.

  • @noonespecial619
    @noonespecial619 4 года назад +20

    15 years is too long. I feel grateful that I left a drug addicted person when my kids were 4 and 6- which itself was too long. 😞. Hindsight is 20/20!

    • @robinluich5576
      @robinluich5576 4 года назад +3

      I was married for 5 years,it was 5 years too many.

    • @ileanaari7505
      @ileanaari7505 4 года назад

      Ms B I left my ex husband for the same reason plus was the lazy guy.

    • @noonespecial619
      @noonespecial619 4 года назад +1

      Ileana Ari oh yeah. I worked and he refused. Imagine that!

  • @jovitavillalpando2827
    @jovitavillalpando2827 4 года назад +1

    Good for you!! Happy healing!

    • @lioydwilliams1850
      @lioydwilliams1850 4 года назад

      Jovita Villalpando, hope you are with a good man!

  • @thereseward7852
    @thereseward7852 6 лет назад +4

    Absolutely amazing to hear all you have gone through and to know you chose love and have a wonderful husband now. You’re a light in this world showing us there is goodness to be found. Thank you for being brave and sharing your story.

  • @byhislove
    @byhislove 4 года назад +2

    I'm glad that she was able to find someone that she deserves! Glad that she walked out of a horrible situation

  • @Dervishi11
    @Dervishi11 5 лет назад +10

    Amazing woman. Smart woman. God bless you

  • @madhatter932
    @madhatter932 5 лет назад +14

    I’m so glad your Son called !!

    • @terrymaxwell2920
      @terrymaxwell2920 5 лет назад +1

      Thank you Mad Hatter...

    • @pmck7903
      @pmck7903 5 лет назад

      Forgive him as the lord forgives us he was so young and ended up hooked . You are teaching him that simple honest living is the best high.

  • @juneruff1136
    @juneruff1136 4 года назад +4

    Her story is so inspiring and it came from her heart

  • @BoazsCrown222
    @BoazsCrown222 5 лет назад +7

    My heart is broken for you... pray for your son to come home to you... it’s never too late for God to touch him.

  • @shruthikareddy6272
    @shruthikareddy6272 5 лет назад +9

    you are so sweet. your voice, your spirit and most of all your courage.

  • @mamalovesthebeach437
    @mamalovesthebeach437 Год назад +1

    What happened with your son Terry, is called Parental Alienation. It’s a systematic form of manipulation and brain-washing. My ex of 26 years attempted to do this with my son. It’s an excruciating form of abuse. You ate an amazing woman for having overcome so much. 💜

    • @shawnmendrek3544
      @shawnmendrek3544 Год назад

      Watched a hour+ video on this, I agree with you.

  • @neicy7532
    @neicy7532 6 лет назад +6

    God Bless you! I am so glad that I had the opportunity to hear your truth and my heart and love are with you. I too have had quite a journey with my daughter. Nevertheless, compassion & love for oneself is an alright thing. Love is everlasting & eternal. Peace be with you, that's what you deserve.

  • @msm5887
    @msm5887 4 года назад +1

    I am trying to listen to her, but I get lost in that smooth eloquent voice and sunk in her beauty ❤❤❤❤

  • @katrionamurphy6736
    @katrionamurphy6736 4 года назад +10

    💔😢 Wow, I wonder how she's doing today in 2020? And how it is with her Son now as well?
    From London, England, UK.

  • @patbest7057
    @patbest7057 2 года назад +1

    Thankyou for your story helped me I hope to have a look of calm you convey one day I feel will only come with peaceful new future regards from australia

  • @whipchick90
    @whipchick90 6 лет назад +3

    I lost my 20 yr old daughter to a heroin overdose seven years ago. I also have a son who is 22 now, and since his sister's death has slowly drifted away from me. We were so close before. But now it has been four years since he has called me or accepted my calls. Last time we talked he said we need to keep in touch more. So I don't understand it. I lost my daughter and it feels like my son as well.

  • @fsfatiaki2211
    @fsfatiaki2211 4 года назад +1

    Beautiful and strong you are! Thank you for sharing.

  • @jerrydonquixote5927
    @jerrydonquixote5927 Год назад +1

    An amazing story it's great to share it and help others give others hope people can change and people can find happiness...

  • @maryanderson9244
    @maryanderson9244 5 лет назад +10

    God bless you you are a wonderful mother......