I was in an abusive relationship for nearly three years and I still have the occasional nightmare about him 35 years later. Trouble is with these sort of men is they hide their true colours until you’ve fallen for them. They are so devious.
Sadly so true but watch Dave Erickson on Narc-ology unscripted youtube videos, & pastor RC Blake's jnr youtube videos on narcissists recovery groups and Tony Gaskins because their videos on narcissists and boundaries are amazing and how to recognise them before you get involved. Dave Erickson was married then divorced from a narcissist he's a Christian and he's twice divorced very sad. But if you live in America your truly blessed. I don't I live in Adelaide South Australia because they hold support groups live with other Empaths
I was married nearly 30 years and divorced at 52. I’m 68 now and thoroughly enjoy the freedom of not having a cranky 24-7 boss. I cook what I like, sleep and eat what I please and arrange my home to suit myself. Sixteen years ago I had no idea what my own decorating taste was. It was fun rediscovering the things I had forgotten about my own self. I hope you will enjoy freedom. (Be sure and don’t marry a new guy in haste. I made that mistake and suffered an even even worse experience for a couple of years.)
I was raised with a verbally and emotionally abusive father and a hands-off distant mother, both of my brothers were abusive narcissists, both husbands were physically, financially, verbally, psychologically and emotionally abusive. I have raised my own son to be a loving, caring, ethical and decent man.And in my retirement years made the choice to find real happiness. Life is good when you kick your abusers to the curb. : )
Well done you!! I too have had the narcissist father, and I too went into the same sort of relationships. I think women are drawn to men the same as their fathers (early on in their lives), but, they can break the chain, and learn from experience of what they DO NOT WANT!! I now live alone and love it. I was diagnosed as autistic (a late diagnosis) so it was a double whammy for (high functioning) autistic person to be in a home with an narcissist!! Every person deserves to have a good life and be in control of their own destiny. I am glad to hear that you released yourself from this abusive relationships, I just wish some women would have the courage to do the same. There is a book by Joe Navarro (FBI profiler) called "Dangerous Personalities". I would recommend this book to any woman, they need to understand what to look for when dating. It would save a lot of grief and wasted time if they were forewarned and did not marry someone with a dangerous personality!! Well worth the $15 to learn about abusive behaviour - it could save their life!!!
brenda mcdonall I too was raised in a verbally abusive. Home my brothers are horrendous horrors yet they say it’s me. I’ve never married still struggle on my own. Both parents were up supportive of me. But supportive of my siblings behaviour. They’ve ruined my life. I have horrendous anxiety and panic attacks.
@@NoPlus500 I am so sorry that you have gone through all of that, and yet, still not found happiness. You need to seek out some sort of counselling or therapy, to see if this can help you. It can make a huge difference in your life. Make sure you take care of yourself, and concentrate on YOU!! That is the only way a person can heal. You are a special person and do not forget it. You are a survivor, and you are strong, even though you will not accept this initially, you are very strong, to have gone through all of that. Try to stay away from your family as much as possible, as they will keep reminding you of their opinion. Please find someone who can help you. Do not waste the rest of your life stuck in this limbo.
kenn1936 wow that’s the nicest thing anyone has said to me. It’s took me my entire life to work out what’s happening and that’s thanks to the Internet. You can find people talking about stuff here. I just didn’t know what was going on. It’s unbelievable what I’ve missed out on in life I met someone wonderful many years ago a princess in her own way and she was so crazy about me yet I did not see it because I didn’t want to believe in anything good for me.
@@NoPlus500 You are very welcome. Here is where therapy will help.... you will not be missing out on anything more in life, you will see yourself as you are: a wonderful person, who can contribute to society, someone that is happy in your own skin, and not feel worthless. You will wake up every morning and be grateful for another day, rather than feel a twinge of disappointment at waking up AGAIN!! You MUST learn to spoil yourself, be extremely good to yourself, learn (through therapy) to love yourself. You are as good as everyone else, no one is more special, you are a one-off, and that makes you unique. Once you learn to love yourself and have complete respect for yourself, you will be much happier within yourself. Respecting yourself as a human being is very, very important. All damage can be reversed but not forgotten. Take pleasure in the small things in life, the sunshine, walks by a river, just very small things, and it will build into big things. Most of all, look after yourself and stay safe. x
I did too and after a few years even forgave her. - I love strong women but that one almost destroyed me. I hope she heals as I have. Also NEVER LOOKED BACK.
Always found ways to embarrass me in public. Telling personal things that were never meant for anyone else to hear. When I finally got tired of this, I decided to show him how it felt, since telling him was not working. I, politely, excused myself from the friends who were with us at the restaurant, and went to the ladies room. When I came out, I had my pantyhose tied around my neck like a scarf. Imagine his embarrassment when his co-workers asked about it. I said just ask Mr. Know it all; he will tell you.
This was my life until 12 years ago after 18 years of marriage. (I was 57 years old; I am now 69.) I hired an attorney, opened a checking account, rented a house, and made a spreadsheet of everything we owned and how I thought it should be divided between us. This took about a month. Then I came home early from work one day and said, "I'm moving out." He said, "I'm not surprised." I showed him the spreadsheet, and he agreed to everything I proposed. I moved out that weekend and he and my son helped me move. I have only seen him twice since. I'm now married to the most wonderful man who adores me and treats me right.
Its never too late to start over. As long as youre living and breathing you can start over again,no matter what age you can find PEACE& HAPPINESS. She actually started over the day she started living for herself.
And dear woman, still watch your back!!! He's not through-'no one will walk away from me!' wicked self centered attitude. Please continue to educate yourself regarding this stage. Thank you for your extraordinary courageous survival and escape story.
annamal pete Surely I am reading this comment incorrectly.. Surely you didn’t mean to write what I have read. Surely you are not saying that she or anyone else deserves abuse.
Sue Andrews oh no don’t feel ashamed! You’ve come this far you are a strong person! Make a plan and stick to it! I’ve worked so hard many years and I do not regret for one moment of the decision I have made! It was scary at first because of all the uncertainties but it all worked out! Good luck!... Ra
I was with a verbally abusive partner for 5 years. His outbursts were epic. A lot of what this lovely woman is saying rings so true. People loved him. No one believed he was an asshole; he even told me I was the only one that saw that side of him. So I was the bad guy to everyone outside. He was so, so abusive. Don't stay. It will NEVER change.
@Reach Honduras thank you for defending me. I appreciate that. I'm so far away now, in my healing, from allowing these thoughtless or brainless or maybe it's soulless, individuals ruin my day. He must be carrying around a great deal of unaddressed anger, which is actually fear, to lash out in such away. Maybe one day he will see that anger is toxic. Eating him up from the inside.
@@candacekesting1786 it's only been fairly recently that I've turned a corner on my healing to the much better place I'm in right now. Continued self-care and no contact make the world of difference. Understand that whatever other people's unconscious actions were towards you it was always about how broken they are. You can heal from the dysfunction they showed us. You truly deserve to be at peace, happy and loved. The biggest battle is truly believing that of ourselves. 💗
Those are all the signs of a person dealing with narcissistic personality disorder...it's sad that we, who have been violated, have to leave our homes.
I wished I'd put a plan together, but I left with the clothes on my back, a computer, and some important papers. I went no contact for about 5 months. We had a business, so, I eventually had to be in contact with him. Later, I wad able to resolve the business, and move on. I've since been divorced, and trying to move forward. Thx for sharing your story... we need other women to come forth and share their story... we're not victims, we're women who have been violated, and perpetrated, by men whom we thought loved us.
Gwen I finally got out in my 40’s. Cheated lied controlling and hit me. When he finally almost killed me the second time I was able to get out . Your story is my story . I am so proud of you.
I have PTSD and at the age of 70. It took me15 yrs to trust the man That I met and finally trusted and Married. I put him though he’ll and back , but he is a wonderful loving man .So if you are ever ready they are out there.
My dad was that way. Everyone on the outside thought he was the greateat. My mom was broken hearted when he left but, she had a better life which she eventually realised and appreciated.
Same with my dad... he died last year and yet those memories are deeply etched in my mum's mind... he always pretended to be such a sweet person outside... and create a fake image of my mother that she was the horrible one... worst part is my mum's dad was the same kind of narcissist and so was her husband
Many men, and women are like that ..everyone thinks they are wonderful as they show a very different side to the one they show once that front door shuts behind them, that's when their true colours come out, trust me I've been there and it's like a prison sentence, unfortunately unlike this lovely lady the mental scars of my past do show on my face, the fear, anxiety, worry and pain and the memories of it all hidden deep inside that never go away..
@@sophiet.2332 because pastors, police, lawyers, judges, Drs don't recognize it yet it's everywhere in the bible just not called narcissist and they should call it stalking not hoovering that's why police don't label it a crime. Recently a innocent lady and her 3 beautiful children were murdered by her ex narcissist husband right outside her parents home where they were living. Yet police and services knew he was violent this makes me furious because I am being home invaded and death threats written in my journals but police won't even look at or document the evidence and the pastor never reported it despite telling me she had to by law
17 years, raised by a verbally abusive parent. Married 14 years to a covert narcissist. Dated narcissists. Since I have learned that I’m strong in my own, I’m happily a hermit. When she said - ‘I can wake up and make coffee for myself the way I like it’ - I find I totally agree with this. Peace is what I now have and I’m not giving up this peace, ever. Grateful to God every moment of every day.
English Irish You need to listen to videos on the abuse from covert, malignant narcissist and the affect this kind of abuse has on their partner. It is not easy to get out.
@Victoria Bergman That is a true statement! Being a holistic nurse. I have seen women who can't leave and they actually get cancer and die as a way to get out of the marriage.
@@SGH1111 true story during the time I was with my ex off and on From 2005 to past June 2019 I went through a bout with cancer twice when I first met him I only had asthma and allergies now I have a list of health problems stress causes you to become ill true story
S Juno ur right that was me EXACTLY i ran from the house with my clothes I was wearing carrying one baby and the other baby running in front of me leading the way out through to the dark garage There was no light don’t know how we did it but we did we been abuse free 3 years now We r all happier now and healthier God is good 💗💗🇦🇺💗
Your comment on leaving with only the clothes on your back made me think of the scene with Angela Basset playing Tina Turner when she’s running in a city and goes into a hotel explaining she has been abused and wish to stay at the hotel even though she has no money at the moment because she had to run off without her things in order to survive her husband’s physical abuse. I had a teacher in middle school and she sat us students down to watch ”What’s Love Got To Do With it”, which obviously upset many parents and her response to their anger was ”the lesson from this movie about abuse is the most important thing these kids will have to learn in life because they will either be abused, be the abuser or know someone who is either of those two things or maybe both. They need to know what it is before they are in it.” She’s still getting contacted by adults who had her as a teacher as a child, who thanked her for teaching them about self-worth, boundaries and healthy love, and some guys got themselves in therapy to sort their anger issues thanks to remembering her lessons she taught them as small boys. My previous teacher was so right about the idea of children being too small to be aware of grown up things is wrong given they will one day be grown-ups and childhood is very short and they will not stay children. The idea children can have friends but not be taught about other things is so off and coward parenting. Seriously don’t bother having children if you’re not willing to raise them properly. With proper damage control we would potentially not need to hear yet another woman who has been abused by a man or read about yet another woman dying at the hands of a man, instead healthy relationship would be a thing for all. *I’m glad this woman is a survivor!*
@Michael King I had a friend telling me my husband was so nice with her kids & an ex colleague if his told me "he's such a nice person" & another ex colleague of his said she takes her hat off for him supporting a colleague working under him in supporting her going through a physical Abusive marriage. It can be in their favour, but definitely not happening in my marriage. God knows & sees everything and He doesn't want us to stay in abusive relationships. He instituted marriage & He is Love so a marriage should be built on Love & not Abuse/Power Control. We deserve to be happy. We don't get training on abuse so when confronted with it we don't know what to do, but the Spirit convicts us of what is right & wrong. We have to make the CHOICE of what we ALLOW & What NOT to ALLOW. No regrets I'm out. Just waiting patiently to be legally released.
I lived this for 28 years and when the divorce came the female judge believed him and he got everything I got left with 180k debt and he has over a million now I love with son and his narcissistic wife and now she abuses me planing my way out but on very little cash it is hard to do
Trauma Bonding, when you have no safe place to escape to. Nobody wants to get involved, not your friends, nor family. That's when you realize you are stuck & this leads to Trauma Bonding.
I think that he was a psychopath. He was too smooth and slippery to be a narcissist. He completely lacks empathy, he fakes through the good times, then a spoon falls and he turns into a completely different person. I sense that she is still afraid of him, poor girl!! She was his trophy, but a trophy is only an object. I bet as a child he threw his toys and beat up his friends. He is a real piece of work, I hope that he gets the help he needed.
I’m still working on breaking the trauma bond after being free for almost a year and strict no contact for 9 months. Some days are better than others. I’m undoing a lifetime of abuse.
I totally identify. I took it for 6 1/2 years. Left him twice during that time. Gave in and returned to the abuse twice. The third time I left was the charm. I had finally learned that NOTHING I could do was going to work. Getting away for good felt like a HUGE breath of fresh air. It wasn't easy though. He would not allow me to hold even a p/t job so I had no work experience. I decided to go to school. As it turned out, I was up at the top of the class and discovered I was not stupid after all.
Left after 44 years of control from a charismatic narcissist. Lived a life of servitude while enduring verbal abuse & rage. Constantly serving his needs, his properties, & his business.
Are you talking about abusive women who cry and beg to be taken back? Narcissists and abusive people don't like it when they no longer have control. They will do anything to regain control and if they get it back they are more vicious than ever.
My story too. I am 63. My ex verbally and in the end physically abused me for years. He is now in a relationship and she thinks the sun shines out of him. How we women are deceived and help captive. But hey I know the feeling of that cup of coffee with no fear that someone will come and ruin even that. We become powerful women....Hopefully with a message of power.
It won't be long before it happens to the new one too. Maybe you'll have lost touch and be having a happy life, but she will take on the same yoke you wore eventually.
30 years and finally escaped. I lived much the same way. I got tired of walking on eggshells. I never knew when I was going to say the wrong thing as nd send him into a rage. Never hit me but said a few things that go unforgotten.
@@patriciaking7892 , it took such alot of personal work to get over the fact that he seems to be so very kind to her... And yet I was treated less than a neglected pet in my years with him... I began to realize that I was merely a servant to him... also, I was a housewife while I was married to him, and he seemed to always look up to women that had a "real career"... and he seemed to have it in his head that the only successful women were in the medical industry... Interesting- his girlfriend manages a medical office or something like that... so that deems her worthy of his approval... Apparently having three kids and taking care of the house and putting up with him just wasn't worthwhile in his eyes ... you know what? She can have him because I actually have wanted nothing to do with them since the day I served him with papers almost five years ago :-) :-) :-) ...good luck to her with the bastard, I say !!!
@@cynthiaschwab8894 I was 59 (now just short of 63) when my narcissist and I divorced after 40 years. The empath in me just could not understand where things had gone wrong and just couldn't accept that loving him wouldn't make things better somehow. Although I am still struggling severely with my brokenness, especially financially and emotionally, I am so relieved that I no longer have to deal with him.
Omg I’m crying. This could have been me. It’s harder to leave when they don’t hit you. It was 20 years for me & I’m now divorced for 3 months. The divorce took 5 years. I’m finally building my own life not formed around trying not to anger him. Thank you for the validation and the work you are doing!
Had a verbally abusive wife divorced her after 20 years best thing you get used to the insults and excuse them.I finally had enough after listening to her abuse her elderly mother.
Thomas Weeks Good for you Thomas! It takes a lot of strength to get out. I had been raised that God hates divorce. And after years of being told I was horrible and trying to be better, I just felt so awful about myself. I really couldn’t tell what would be worse - staying or leaving - so I stayed stuck. I finally realized God didn’t want that for anyone and my kids needed to see me be strong and not let myself be mistreated. I can tell you have a lot of compassion. A good person like you deserves better. 💜🙏🏻👼🏻✝️😇
After a life changing stroke, my husband of 28 yrs went from verbal to physical abuse. I put up with the abuse for 2 years and I knew he had a big problem with anger but would not get help for it. I had no choice but to leave and I got a protective order. The turning point was not just the abuse but when he said to me " I ALLOW you" to make any decisions that I had been making for the past 2 years. Even though he was incoherent for 1 1/2 years after the stroke and I was forced to make all decisions. He did not remember how I had to teach him to walk and handle the closing of his business as he was not able to function at that capacity. When he came back as this totally different person, he was full of anger and took everything out on me.
When my narcissistic ex started therapy, I thought he would finally see the light and he did! He admitted he had issues with respecting people's boundaries and that he didn't feel anything for people. He concluded that was the reason why I had to make an effort In this relationship. No kidding! I politely said no because I wanted to be happy and deserve to take care of myself. He could be responsible of himself. I cut all contacts! The best decision of my life!
Thank you for sharing. When I was married, I was verbally abused. After divorce, I felt better because I didn’t yell at myself, call myself names or belittle myself. I was at liberty to make choices for myself and it was great. I’ve been divorced 11 years. It gets sweeter as the days go by. Marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship. Amen. #staystrong
Most of these types of men have some deep-seated hatred toward their mothers. That anger could not be expressed during childhood to their mothers. Once they are in a relationship or marriage with a woman, all that anger gets released-the wrong way on the wrong person.
Jim Williams Yes. Women may also have this problem of hating the opposite sex because of what their fathers did to them. However, women are less inclined toward having their anger/hatred manifest in violence toward men.
Redfishswimming Never said they were. I am referring to cases of men beating women, abusing women in a physical and emotional manner. That is really the subject of THIS video. When I find a video concerning women abusing men or anyone else, then I examine the psychological pathology of women. Learn how to stay focused on the topic at hand. I can’t be expected to detail all the social ills of the universe in one RUclips comment.
Your story is so similar to mine. I was married 30 years when I finally got out. Freedom to make my own decisions about how I spend my money, what I eat, what I watch on tv, when I go to bed, when I get up on the weekends is all priceless. Not having someone control your every move is so rewarding. I can identify with your story.
True but I’ve had that freedom for 45 years and it is also true that it has made my life feel empty and pointless. And you miss out on so much. There are lots of things I cannot do alone, like hire a boat, and many the holiday I have taken alone and spent it in tears with the loneliness. Abuse from a spouse must be worse than being single but they are both unhealthy debilitating experiences that nobody deserves or wants. You might be happy being single now, but that’s only because it is new to you. Incidentally maybe the husband mentioned in the video was suddenly abusive because he was developing an illness like dementia or depression or something else.
@@jimwilliams4088But it does matter who said it, please don't give Oprah credit for Dr.Maya Angelou words."When someone shows you who they're believe them the first time".
@@hyg44gu54 This is a sweet then cruel cycle as violence tends to be cyclic in nature. The corporate wife was controlled and kept like a bird in a gilded cage. I am pleased she left and found a safe place alone instead of constantly waiting for the next shoe to drop. Unfortunately aggressive and violent rages makes some people feel powerful and in control by disempowering their victim. This was not an equal or healthy relationship. The solution was to leave or risk escalating violence and abuse. Her husband needed help to find ways to cope with stress without using his wife as a verbal punching bag to absorb his inner pain manifested as blind rage on those closest to him.
I’m in a similar place. I’m almost sixty-one and left 9 months ago with my fifteen year old after 36 years. He also was psychologically/spiritually/verbally abusive. Thank you for sharing your story!!
My husband was 1 of the most horrible human being on this planet. I spent 34 years of my life with that scumbag. He used to spread lies n gossip about me. Not even provide financially. He even raised his hand on my mother. The list is endless. By God's grace I'm alive. After all these years he suddenly died.
Sounds so much like what I went thru. I was married to a physical abuser, got away from him and then met someone else 4 years down the road. He was handsome, kind, smart etc etc etc. Then a month after the wedding, BOOM! Out came the rage. He never hit me but the next 15 years was full of emotional abuse and anger. I lost my independent and strong self trying to make a marriage work because I just didn't want another divorce. It ripped my heart out to leave him. I found out after leaving him that the emotional abuse was far worse than the physical abuse from the first marriage. It took some therapy to put myself back together again. I turned to writing and it's been a God-send. I'm glad this woman was able to get away.
Same with me...3 months after i married my narc the poo poo hit the fan....2 yr separation of which he went wild with his sexual immorality...reconciled after the 2 yrs and within 5 months ....boom! He decided to blame me for his adultery..that was it for me....divorced that narc..free indeed...
@veronica carlson I'm so sorry you went thru that. It is so hard to break the cycle but it can be done. I'm so glad you brought up that you're college educated because many people don't seem to realize that this issue affects everyone. If only we didn't have hearts and emotions life would be so much easier right?
@veronica carlson I know exactly what you're going thru. I know what it's like to lose friends and to be lied about. I lost all my friends and my family too due to lies. I've made a few new friends and accepted that my family has problems, it's not me. Just like it's not you! I isolated for awhile too because I hated the world, I was hurting all the time, trusted no one and stopped even making eye contact with people. I was so backwards from who I really am. I've a very open person, make friends easy, I stand up for stuff others won't, and I don't take crap from anyone. This is how I grew up. It's my nature. My ex broke my nature. I retreated into a shell like a snail that sees salt. It was all I could do to get myself to work and do a half decent job. Then I started reading books written by others like you and I. It was a saving grace. I love to read anyway and I write as well. Please contact me at missyorg1@gmail.com You have a friend here.
Mine NEVER apologized or was sorry. No one liked him, not his kids, his siblings, his co-workers, his bosses. He was verbally abusive every day-no good days. I left him the first week we met but sadly went back. Always listen to your gut. I finally walked out after 4 years of hell-best thing I ever did. God bless you.
I was married to a Narcissistic man for 18 years. We met through my brother who highly recommend him, as well as my parents. I thought he was too good to be true. Long story short...... I lost my finances through a no fault and live on SS only, after working 44 years as an RN. If I think about it I get very bitter, so I focus on my life ahead...of peace, and trust in a real man, which I have never had. Women, get out! Before this happens to you! Save yourself and don’t think about what “others will say”🤗
Public persona is so different from personal persona. Co-workers don't realize what he's really like as in the movie "The Wife". Denial is common. I used to believe what he said without question. I also allowed or tolerated unacceptable behavior until I decided enough, choosing a plan to leave. Now I set and enforce boundaries. Thank you for your story. I'm 64 years and expect the divorce proceedings to end soon.
Just listening makes me relive my time in an abusive relationship. 42 years six children! Patricia's book jumped out at me, when I looked for a book for my kids. Eye opening!!!!
My pivotal moment occurred in a restaurant as well. My husband had increasing started to call me a b*tch and a c*nt. I called him on it each and every time. Finally he would not apologize nor retract his comments. It was his birthday, and he and I were in an expensive restaurant and I was paying, as it was his birthday. But to clear the air, after we ordered, I said to him that going forward, it was not ok for him to swear at me any more if he wanted this marriage to remain. Seemed to me a reasonable request. He stood up, and announced "This dinner is over". Meal had not yet arrived. He wanted me to back down. Instead I said "Fine" and walked out ahead of him. I have no idea if he paid. I had to lock my possessions in one room as he was breaking my stuff. I slept in a locked room until I could find a place. We were married 23 years. He just got worse and worse.
oli I have finally learned that if I’m concerned for people who are suffering, it’s OK to not help troubled people in my personal life. I used to take people into my home and life. Now I volunteer with people through an organization with boundaries in place, and am studying chemical dependency counseling. That’s working out a lot better for me!
@@brittaolson6550Your doing good!!😊😊😊 I also did take people in to my home until this last person to be of help to them. Do not now and am working to save up $5000, abuser don't know about, have quite a lot of it, to become a license therapist. With old classes then only will take about a year and will work with an organization to keep good boundaries in place. And RUN to different physical living place😊💐😊
I feels so good to be free from all the rules and the abuse from men . Its so liberating to do what I want and when.i love it I'm so happy now . No one owns anybody
What a beautiful lady ♥ It's sad to be in a relationship with someone who no longer respects you... You have to break away from all Negativity in life and don't let it take you down..... I'm glad she broke away and can start living her life again, even at 62 it's not to late for happiness.
I did it for 34 yrs. My grown children hated me for the divorce. And now that 15 years has gone by they remember how their mother was and how I am now and we are all together. Freedom peace that is what I got the moment I left him and I've been in paysense only wished I'd done it earlier
I realise this was posted 8 years ago but I left my husband 9 months ago after 39 years of marriage, he verbally and physically abused me most days and when he didn’t I carried the fear. x I’m 60 years old now and I was with him from 17. I saw him hit his mother before we got married and I should have realised and called it off but I was so young and believe his apologies. Everyone thought he was such a ‘nice guy.’ When I left I took very little with me and he is currently living in the marital home. He won’t allow me back in and he has my mums cherished locket and her ring. I know it doesn’t seem much but it was a treasured possession and I feel so stupid for leaving it behind x
Thank you for sharing your story! One thought...when you say "put a plan in place", yours began with an attorney. When I went to see an attorney, she said "boy (!) you are really good at making bad decisions" and showed me the door when she realized I didn't have much money. In other words, not everyone has the choice EXCEPT to leave with the clothes on their backs. However, if that is the only way out...new clothes are cheaper than attorneys.
Alia Osman, Whoa! Someone pays a compliment and that is what you make of it? She does look amazing and probably looks better now after leaving the guy.
I always excused it too. There was a lot of stress. Mostly issues he created but he always blamed other and God. Everyone thought he was a nice guy too. He saved his rage for *just* me. How sweet. Your story could be mine. I got out after 14 years. Hallelujah!!!!
Well done, Joyce, on getting yourself out of a horrible situation. I spent 20 years telling myself it had to be “my fault”. You’re very brave - and by the way you look fabulous for 62.
My father gave my mom cutting and sarcastic remarks as well. I think because she did not work, he felt he had the right to voice his frustration upon her. She took care of 3 children so she did not sit around being lazy all day. She made sure the house was clean, she prepared the meals, washed the dishes, did the laundry and even trimmed the hedges. She was by no means lazy and always had a smile for him except when he insulted her. Then she had compassion and sorrow in her eyes.
You are telling my story for the last 33 years, I left last year , but he did things months before to set up my leaving. He took and hid money , he ghosted me and for the first time in my life I’m starting over but there is so much peace in my life now, my first divorce court is coming up and I will walk into that courtroom knowing he no longer has my power, having 3 kids that still don’t see the truth , they will see my truth and that feels amazing
Keep in mind to always try to see patterns of abusiveness. Im fortunate to be alive. As for me i didnt allow that to happen, to be abused. When you have loaded guns to your head,,you do exactly what you're told. Im free now and dont take any shit from anyone. I have a voice and know how to speak my mind. And take action.Bless you Ruby.
I can totally relate ... except my ex never yelled at me - he was the opposite- he would ignore me and stay silent... mine also was a financial abuser. He was an oil executive... made millions - and did not share or let me nest our home, etc. he finally got a 25 years younger girlfriend and we divorced. It’s been very difficult to get past this life I had with him. I also have PTSD from the emotional pain. I am on the way up though now ! You are beautiful, by the way. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much for your story. I have lived a similar one. Everyone thinks my husband is such a nice guy. I tell them the story but it's like they just can't believe it. Some do. Im' 61 now and he was so nice after he asked me to marry him. After I did, slowly his rage came out and I was in Hell. I stayed thinking it was me, that he will change if this happens or that happens. I was a 42 year old young at heart pretty women when I met him. The same thing happened to me where everything was his. His job was important, and like everything else, it was his way. I had no choices. Then my mom passed suddenly and I needed to stay. By the time 2011 came around I saw a lawyer. But she made it clear I wouldn't be able to have enough money unless I stayed longer. So I did. It's too long to write it out. I got the same book and he fit much of it. His rage hurt my ears. They ring now easily. I'm working my way out.
These men do this to isolate you and control you. You are lovely and he obviously was trying to compensate for the fact that he is not a good person(ugly inside) I'm a survivor of physical and verbal abuse and I'm so glad you are free to be the person you are. I
I was isolated and controled. Lonely, sad and depressed. They are masters of hiding their true face. It comes and progress gradually, so eventually you are just stuck in this overwhelming swamp that sucks you up deeper and deeper, and you have no idea how to get out and escape👿
I left 28 yrs ago, & yes I had the physical verbal & mental abuse, the physical was as bad as can be, in my first marriage. To the point he tried to murder me & that pain i live today is a result of that, 32yrs after. My second relationship was mainly verbal, but every bit as bad as the physical & if not worse! I stayed 5 yrs & left, but it didn't end there. For 13 yrs i was stalked, it didnt matter where i went what i had or every house move, he found me. He talked to neighbors & ran me down to them, he would get into my home of a night, etc etc. But i have been free of that for 15yrs & free of anyother man ever harming me again. So i say, believe it if they tell you they will kill you, & with the first slap punch push kick, because it never stops there it can only get worse. I love my life & now wouldnt change it for anything.
Sounds just like my ex covert narcissist. Charismatic and charming to others. Controlling and you are a resource for their narc supply. It's all about them. They will shift the blame on you. Never apologize or accountability. They deny deny deny.
Yep... All Narcassist are truly sadistic, fraudulent, and pitifully individuals. Satan needs to come collect all his narcassistic children and take them back to hell with him.
Story of my life for 11years. It will change you and isolate you from people. It will make you lonely to the core. But there is a hope to grow from the ashes once you leave him to start rebuilding your life and your happinnes. God bless to those that escaped😍
Yes... This is my story too. I applaud your courage. God put your story in front of me today as I struggle with my separation. Divine timing. #womenhelpingwomen
This is my exact story at 55. I left 3 times and came back. It got worst every time I came back. My third time I created a plans and left while he was at work. My only regret was…. Why did I not do this sooner
Well said. After year 25. I knew it was over. Year 30, at 50 years old, I left. Devastated, it is now year 16 since I left. Definitely suffering from PTSD. He took me to court last winter. To stop the alimony. There is a special place for him when he dies.
This is me with my parents ... still working on it as now know it’s not stress or their health issues, it’s them. Thank you for this as a version of it is my life. My parents weapon of choice is money and emotional abuse ... horrible.
When you are raised by narcissistic verbal abusers, you probably attract the same sort of mate. My ex was a Dr .Jekyll/ Mr. Hyde. Women and men can be equally verbally abusive. The damage is just as brutal as physical abuse. Patricia Evan's books are spot-on about everything. There's lots of RUclips videos on dealing with narcissist verbal abusers. There should be classes in schools about this.
Well done. I suffered 30 years with the full package. Fortunately he died due to health complications. BUT, the victim is hurt and healing is another story.
I was sad to read your story, but I was glad to see that you look beautiful considerably younger than you are. I learned a lesson in not retaliating because I would have picked up a fork in the restaurant and given it to him for dinner. I was married 25 years to stealthily covert narcissist, a sociopath to the inth power , yet without ceremony I put him out. Loving yourself is very important. That has always been a blessing for me. even though you will meet women who are infinitely worse off than you are, it doesn't mean you're story is not important We need more women like you who will tell their story. We need more women to Rally round and help each other. I'll be the first one to volunteer.
What a beautiful woman. She did the right thing. I too was in a violent physically abusive marriage and wrote the book LOOK ME IN THE EYE- Caryl Wyatt There is only one way to solve an abusive relationship run don't walk.
Wow! Patricia Evans' books are what put all the pieces together for me too! I devoured 3 of them in like 2 weeks when I first started thinking of leaving my ex-husband. Sounds so much like my story. 2015 was the year for me too! Congratulations on your new life! Great message and so true - Don't ever go back!
They isolate you, then let the emotional abuse begin! Exactly, the world revolved around him. My Breakthrough book was "The Sociopath Next Door" at the Library. Thank you for your testimony. I didn't know who I was. Was married to the Narc for 30 long years. Thankful to the Lord for saving me from that life of complete oppression.
'When someone shows you who they are, believe it'. Best quote ever.
Yes it is. That quote is from the famous poet and author Maya Angelo🙏🏽😇
I believe it was Maya Angelou RIP
It's a great quote which I've never forgotten and It's helped me to deal with toxic individuals.
Helen you're right that was me wanting for Mr nusty to change, but I was rowng.
Believe it the first time......
I was in an abusive relationship for nearly three years and I still have the occasional nightmare about him 35 years later. Trouble is with these sort of men is they hide their true colours until you’ve fallen for them. They are so devious.
Sadly so true but watch Dave Erickson on Narc-ology unscripted youtube videos, & pastor RC Blake's jnr youtube videos on narcissists recovery groups and Tony Gaskins because their videos on narcissists and boundaries are amazing and how to recognise them before you get involved. Dave Erickson was married then divorced from a narcissist he's a Christian and he's twice divorced very sad. But if you live in America your truly blessed. I don't I live in Adelaide South Australia because they hold support groups live with other Empaths
I was married nearly 30 years and divorced at 52. I’m 68 now and thoroughly enjoy the freedom of not having a cranky 24-7 boss. I cook what I like, sleep and eat what I please and arrange my home to suit myself. Sixteen years ago I had no idea what my own decorating taste was. It was fun rediscovering the things I had forgotten about my own self. I hope you will enjoy freedom. (Be sure and don’t marry a new guy in haste. I made that mistake and suffered an even even worse experience for a couple of years.)
Nancy Clay,You deserve better 🙏
Don't even get married at all. Marriage is a farce.
I was raised with a verbally and emotionally abusive father and a hands-off distant mother, both of my brothers were abusive narcissists, both husbands were physically, financially, verbally, psychologically and emotionally abusive. I have raised my own son to be a loving, caring, ethical and decent man.And in my retirement years made the choice to find real happiness. Life is good when you kick your abusers to the curb. : )
Well done you!! I too have had the narcissist father, and I too went into the same sort of relationships. I think women are drawn to men the same as their fathers (early on in their lives), but, they can break the chain, and learn from experience of what they DO NOT WANT!! I now live alone and love it. I was diagnosed as autistic (a late diagnosis) so it was a double whammy for (high functioning) autistic person to be in a home with an narcissist!! Every person deserves to have a good life and be in control of their own destiny. I am glad to hear that you released yourself from this abusive relationships, I just wish some women would have the courage to do the same. There is a book by Joe Navarro (FBI profiler) called "Dangerous Personalities". I would recommend this book to any woman, they need to understand what to look for when dating. It would save a lot of grief and wasted time if they were forewarned and did not marry someone with a dangerous personality!! Well worth the $15 to learn about abusive behaviour - it could save their life!!!
brenda mcdonall I too was raised in a verbally abusive. Home my brothers are horrendous horrors yet they say it’s me. I’ve never married still struggle on my own.
Both parents were up supportive of me. But supportive of my siblings behaviour. They’ve ruined my life.
I have horrendous anxiety and panic attacks.
@@NoPlus500 I am so sorry that you have gone through all of that, and yet, still not found happiness. You need to seek out some sort of counselling or therapy, to see if this can help you. It can make a huge difference in your life. Make sure you take care of yourself, and concentrate on YOU!! That is the only way a person can heal. You are a special person and do not forget it. You are a survivor, and you are strong, even though you will not accept this initially, you are very strong, to have gone through all of that. Try to stay away from your family as much as possible, as they will keep reminding you of their opinion. Please find someone who can help you. Do not waste the rest of your life stuck in this limbo.
kenn1936 wow that’s the nicest thing anyone has said to me.
It’s took me my entire life to work out what’s happening and that’s thanks to the Internet. You can find people talking about stuff here.
I just didn’t know what was going on. It’s unbelievable what I’ve missed out on in life I met someone wonderful many years ago a princess in her own way and she was so crazy about me yet I did not see it because I didn’t want to believe in anything good for me.
@@NoPlus500 You are very welcome. Here is where therapy will help.... you will not be missing out on anything more in life, you will see yourself as you are: a wonderful person, who can contribute to society, someone that is happy in your own skin, and not feel worthless. You will wake up every morning and be grateful for another day, rather than feel a twinge of disappointment at waking up AGAIN!! You MUST learn to spoil yourself, be extremely good to yourself, learn (through therapy) to love yourself. You are as good as everyone else, no one is more special, you are a one-off, and that makes you unique. Once you learn to love yourself and have complete respect for yourself, you will be much happier within yourself. Respecting yourself as a human being is very, very important. All damage can be reversed but not forgotten. Take pleasure in the small things in life, the sunshine, walks by a river, just very small things, and it will build into big things. Most of all, look after yourself and stay safe. x
I divorced a mental case who seemed to enjoy verbally shooting me down. Never looked back. Couldn't be happier.
Ditto!!
I did too and after a few years even forgave her. - I love strong women but that one almost destroyed me. I hope she heals as I have. Also NEVER LOOKED BACK.
I left my nightmare also never looking back. Didn't miss her for even 30 seconds. It's not necessarily a gender thing crazy is crazy !!
Thank God we got out of a nightmare
Always found ways to embarrass me in public. Telling personal things that were never meant for anyone else to hear. When I finally got tired of this, I decided to show him how it felt, since telling him was not working. I, politely, excused myself from the friends who were with us at the restaurant, and went to the ladies room. When I came out, I had my pantyhose tied around my neck like a scarf. Imagine his embarrassment when his co-workers asked about it. I said just ask Mr. Know it all; he will tell you.
This was my life until 12 years ago after 18 years of marriage. (I was 57 years old; I am now 69.) I hired an attorney, opened a checking account, rented a house, and made a spreadsheet of everything we owned and how I thought it should be divided between us. This took about a month. Then I came home early from work one day and said, "I'm moving out." He said, "I'm not surprised." I showed him the spreadsheet, and he agreed to everything I proposed. I moved out that weekend and he and my son helped me move. I have only seen him twice since. I'm now married to the most wonderful man who adores me and treats me right.
Peggy Flowers,you deserve better
62 years old??? Looks 42. You're young enough to start over!
Yes, she's young to start again but most people without therapy may get back into a similar relationship. Don't do it till you're ready!
Its never too late to start over. As long as youre living and breathing you can start over again,no matter what age you can find PEACE& HAPPINESS. She actually started over the day she started living for herself.
She’s very pretty
Britta Olson -Honey, one can always start over💕
Awww. 😙
Bravo!!. You are smart, articulate , beautiful , and courageous. So happy for you. Don't look back.
And dear woman, still watch your back!!! He's not through-'no one will walk away from me!' wicked self centered attitude. Please continue to educate yourself regarding this stage. Thank you for your extraordinary courageous survival and escape story.
@annamal pete
Sad, but you've given the exact behavior of a narcissist by your comment.
Miss Camino If only I could have your strength. I used to be strong. I am 61 and a half years old & weak & crushed. Thankyou for your story
annamal pete Surely I am reading this comment incorrectly.. Surely you didn’t mean to write what I have read. Surely you are not saying that she or anyone else deserves abuse.
@annamal pete you're a dick!
Oh my goodness! Sounds like my relationship of 40 years! Took me 8 years to get away! I’m so at peace now!
Best wishes I divorced my loser wife of 27 years found a wonderful partner to share life with.
Did you make a plan?
Sue Andrews oh no don’t feel ashamed! You’ve come this far you are a strong person! Make a plan and stick to it! I’ve worked so hard many years and I do not regret for one moment of the decision I have made! It was scary at first because of all the uncertainties but it all worked out! Good luck!... Ra
Glad you're free. Took me 4 years. Almost to the day
I was with a verbally abusive partner for 5 years. His outbursts were epic. A lot of what this lovely woman is saying rings so true. People loved him. No one believed he was an asshole; he even told me I was the only one that saw that side of him. So I was the bad guy to everyone outside. He was so, so abusive. Don't stay. It will NEVER change.
I clicked on this video by mistake. Now I know why.
It's my story too.
You're describing my life
@annamal pete lol. 🤣
@Reach Honduras thank you for defending me. I appreciate that.
I'm so far away now, in my healing, from allowing these thoughtless or brainless or maybe it's soulless, individuals ruin my day.
He must be carrying around a great deal of unaddressed anger, which is actually fear, to lash out in such away.
Maybe one day he will see that anger is toxic. Eating him up from the inside.
good answer ! Your story is mine as well. Still in it though with anxiety disorder and PTSD. Slowly figuring my way out.
@@candacekesting1786 it's only been fairly recently that I've turned a corner on my healing to the much better place I'm in right now.
Continued self-care and no contact make the world of difference. Understand that whatever other people's unconscious actions were towards you it was always about how broken they are. You can heal from the dysfunction they showed us. You truly deserve to be at peace, happy and loved. The biggest battle is truly believing that of ourselves. 💗
62?!! No way in hell! those are some seriously good genes. Wishing you all the best!
Those are all the signs of a person dealing with narcissistic personality disorder...it's sad that we, who have been violated, have to leave our homes.
I wished I'd put a plan together, but I left with the clothes on my back, a computer, and some important papers. I went no contact for about 5 months. We had a business, so, I eventually had to be in contact with him. Later, I wad able to resolve the business, and move on. I've since been divorced, and trying to move forward. Thx for sharing your story... we need other women to come forth and share their story... we're not victims, we're women who have been violated, and perpetrated, by men whom we thought loved us.
Gwen
I finally got out in my 40’s. Cheated lied controlling and hit me. When he finally almost killed me the second time I was able to get out . Your story is my story . I am so proud of you.
I have PTSD and at the age of 70. It took me15 yrs to trust the man That I met and finally trusted and Married. I put him though he’ll and back , but he is a wonderful loving man .So if you are ever ready they are out there.
My dad was that way. Everyone on the outside thought he was the greateat.
My mom was broken hearted when he left but, she had a better life which she eventually realised and appreciated.
Same with my dad... he died last year and yet those memories are deeply etched in my mum's mind... he always pretended to be such a sweet person outside... and create a fake image of my mother that she was the horrible one... worst part is my mum's dad was the same kind of narcissist and so was her husband
Why only we meet these people? Why aren't we as lucky as other people?
Many men, and women are like that ..everyone thinks they are wonderful as they show a very different side to the one they show once that front door shuts behind them, that's when their true colours come out, trust me I've been there and it's like a prison sentence, unfortunately unlike this lovely lady the mental scars of my past do show on my face, the fear, anxiety, worry and pain and the memories of it all hidden deep inside that never go away..
Mine too. Restaurants and public places were awful.
@@sophiet.2332 because pastors, police, lawyers, judges, Drs don't recognize it yet it's everywhere in the bible just not called narcissist and they should call it stalking not hoovering that's why police don't label it a crime. Recently a innocent lady and her 3 beautiful children were murdered by her ex narcissist husband right outside her parents home where they were living. Yet police and services knew he was violent this makes me furious because I am being home invaded and death threats written in my journals but police won't even look at or document the evidence and the pastor never reported it despite telling me she had to by law
“This behavior was irrational and I was trying to deal with it in a rational way”. That is so true.
🙏🙏🙏🙏👍👍👍👍♥️
Exactly
17 years, raised by a verbally abusive parent. Married 14 years to a covert narcissist.
Dated narcissists. Since I have learned that I’m strong in my own, I’m happily a hermit. When she said - ‘I can wake up and make coffee for myself the way I like it’ - I find I totally agree with this. Peace is what I now have and I’m not giving up this peace, ever. Grateful to God every moment of every day.
Excellent, excellent video. I was abused for 26 years. It was next to impossible for me to leave. But I did, in 1996.
Jane James ❤️🌱❤️🌱❤️
Still waiting.
I left my ex after 23 of marriage. I felt like I just got out of prison.
Wow why did you stay so long?
Because you have! A house with bars on the windows isn't a jail unless you feel trapped there, and vice versa. Good luck. x
English Irish You need to listen to videos on the abuse from covert, malignant narcissist and the affect this kind of abuse has on their partner. It is not easy to get out.
@Victoria Bergman That is a true statement! Being a holistic nurse. I have seen women who can't leave and they actually get cancer and die as a way to get out of the marriage.
@@SGH1111 true story during the time I was with my ex off and on From 2005 to past June 2019 I went through a bout with cancer twice when I first met him I only had asthma and allergies now I have a list of health problems stress causes you to become ill true story
Sometimes you have to leave with only the clothes on your back. Sometimes there is no plan, and that's okay. One step at a time is all you need.
S Juno I did something like that. So, true.
S Juno ur right that was me EXACTLY
i ran from the house with my clothes I was wearing carrying one baby and the other baby running in front of me leading the way out through to the dark garage
There was no light don’t know how we did it but we did we been abuse free 3 years now
We r all happier now and healthier
God is good
💗💗🇦🇺💗
S Juno, scary but you're right.
Your comment on leaving with only the clothes on your back made me think of the scene with Angela Basset playing Tina Turner when she’s running in a city and goes into a hotel explaining she has been abused and wish to stay at the hotel even though she has no money at the moment because she had to run off without her things in order to survive her husband’s physical abuse. I had a teacher in middle school and she sat us students down to watch ”What’s Love Got To Do With it”, which obviously upset many parents and her response to their anger was ”the lesson from this movie about abuse is the most important thing these kids will have to learn in life because they will either be abused, be the abuser or know someone who is either of those two things or maybe both. They need to know what it is before they are in it.” She’s still getting contacted by adults who had her as a teacher as a child, who thanked her for teaching them about self-worth, boundaries and healthy love, and some guys got themselves in therapy to sort their anger issues thanks to remembering her lessons she taught them as small boys. My previous teacher was so right about the idea of children being too small to be aware of grown up things is wrong given they will one day be grown-ups and childhood is very short and they will not stay children. The idea children can have friends but not be taught about other things is so off and coward parenting. Seriously don’t bother having children if you’re not willing to raise them properly. With proper damage control we would potentially not need to hear yet another woman who has been abused by a man or read about yet another woman dying at the hands of a man, instead healthy relationship would be a thing for all. *I’m glad this woman is a survivor!*
Thats exactly right. It's hard to trust people in this world but there is still good out there. People do care and they will help if you let them.
Red flag: When other people think a person is "the NICEST guy".
Oh yes!!
@Michael King I had a friend telling me my husband was so nice with her kids & an ex colleague if his told me "he's such a nice person" & another ex colleague of his said she takes her hat off for him supporting a colleague working under him in supporting her going through a physical Abusive marriage. It can be in their favour, but definitely not happening in my marriage. God knows & sees everything and He doesn't want us to stay in abusive relationships. He instituted marriage & He is Love so a marriage should be built on Love & not Abuse/Power Control. We deserve to be happy. We don't get training on abuse so when confronted with it we don't know what to do, but the Spirit convicts us of what is right & wrong. We have to make the CHOICE of what we ALLOW & What NOT to ALLOW. No regrets I'm out. Just waiting patiently to be legally released.
@Thomas Anderson it's NOT ONLY the ladies Who choose them, anyway itmakes us Stronger Women in Society. "If God is for us Who can be against us?" 👌
@Thomas Anderson What is this "whatever" attitude about 🤔
Sounds like my stepfather that POS
She's beautiful. Looking good sis!
This is Narcissistic Abuse -Trama Bonds extremely hard to break! Congrats! love
I lived this for 28 years and when the divorce came the female judge believed him and he got everything I got left with 180k debt and he has over a million now I love with son and his narcissistic wife and now she abuses me planing my way out but on very little cash it is hard to do
Trauma Bonding, when you have no safe place to escape to. Nobody wants to get involved, not your friends, nor family. That's when you realize you are stuck & this leads to Trauma Bonding.
I think that he was a psychopath. He was too smooth and slippery to be a narcissist. He completely lacks empathy, he fakes through the good times, then a spoon falls and he turns into a completely different person. I sense that she is still afraid of him, poor girl!! She was his trophy, but a trophy is only an object. I bet as a child he threw his toys and beat up his friends. He is a real piece of work, I hope that he gets the help he needed.
I’m still working on breaking the trauma bond after being free for almost a year and strict no contact for 9 months. Some days are better than others. I’m undoing a lifetime of abuse.
@@klattalexis I'm there now but working on not being so co-dependant...
29 years ago I left an abusive relationship. Most empowering thing I ever did for me and my daughter.
Lori Neilson - me, too- about 21 yrs ago
I totally identify. I took it for 6 1/2 years. Left him twice during that time. Gave in and returned to the abuse twice. The third time I left was the charm. I had finally learned that NOTHING I could do was going to work. Getting away for good felt like a HUGE breath of fresh air. It wasn't easy though. He would not allow me to hold even a p/t job so I had no work experience. I decided to go to school. As it turned out, I was up at the top of the class and discovered I was not stupid after all.
Good for you.
Left after 44 years of control from a charismatic narcissist. Lived a life of servitude while enduring verbal abuse & rage. Constantly serving his needs, his properties, & his business.
Men crying and begging you to stay is manipulative.
Do not fall for the B.S. crying.
Van peter if get then why waiting , leave at once
True. I know first hand, as well.
As a man I see this often. It crushes a part of me when they take the abuser back. It's ALWAYS worse.......ALWAYS.
AGREE 100%
Are you talking about abusive women who cry and beg to be taken back? Narcissists and abusive people don't like it when they no longer have control. They will do anything to regain control and if they get it back they are more vicious than ever.
My story too. I am 63. My ex verbally and in the end physically abused me for years. He is now in a relationship and she thinks the sun shines out of him. How we women are deceived and help captive. But hey I know the feeling of that cup of coffee with no fear that someone will come and ruin even that. We become powerful women....Hopefully with a message of power.
It won't be long before it happens to the new one too. Maybe you'll have lost touch and be having a happy life, but she will take on the same yoke you wore eventually.
@@cyndimoring9389 you're right about that!
Oh boy, same thing here... Was married 21 years to an abuser...and his new girlfriend just thinks the sun rises and sets on him...
30 years and finally escaped. I lived much the same way. I got tired of walking on eggshells. I never knew when I was going to say the wrong thing as nd send him into a rage. Never hit me but said a few things that go unforgotten.
@@patriciaking7892 , it took such alot of personal work to get over the fact that he seems to be so very kind to her... And yet I was treated less than a neglected pet in my years with him... I began to realize that I was merely a servant to him... also, I was a housewife while I was married to him, and he seemed to always look up to women that had a "real career"... and he seemed to have it in his head that the only successful women were in the medical industry... Interesting- his girlfriend manages a medical office or something like that... so that deems her worthy of his approval... Apparently having three kids and taking care of the house and putting up with him just wasn't worthwhile in his eyes ... you know what? She can have him because I actually have wanted nothing to do with them since the day I served him with papers almost five years ago :-) :-) :-)
...good luck to her with the bastard, I say !!!
I can 100% relate to this. Covert Narcissist! 16.5 years down the tubes, but surviving and thriving.
Me... Surviving for 27 years! Wanna get out... Someday Dream Dream...
Yeah me also 59 this year surprised I lasted so long
Covert? Namecalling isn't covert really.
@@cynthiaschwab8894 I was 59 (now just short of 63) when my narcissist and I divorced after 40 years. The empath in me just could not understand where things had gone wrong and just couldn't accept that loving him wouldn't make things better somehow. Although I am still struggling severely with my brokenness, especially financially and emotionally, I am so relieved that I no longer have to deal with him.
20 yrs and 9 kids for me. I've been out for 11 yrs.
Omg I’m crying. This could have been me. It’s harder to leave when they don’t hit you. It was 20 years for me & I’m now divorced for 3 months. The divorce took 5 years. I’m finally building my own life not formed around trying not to anger him. Thank you for the validation and the work you are doing!
Maureen Rocha you are absolutely right!!! There are no visible wounds!!!!
Had a verbally abusive wife divorced her after 20 years best thing you get used to the insults and excuse them.I finally had enough after listening to her abuse her elderly mother.
Thomas Weeks Good for you Thomas! It takes a lot of strength to get out. I had been raised that God hates divorce. And after years of being told I was horrible and trying to be better, I just felt so awful about myself. I really couldn’t tell what would be worse - staying or leaving - so I stayed stuck. I finally realized God didn’t want that for anyone and my kids needed to see me be strong and not let myself be mistreated. I can tell you have a lot of compassion. A good person like you deserves better. 💜🙏🏻👼🏻✝️😇
@@thomasweeks7992 Funny how watching someone treat another poorly has greater clarity than your own self
After a life changing stroke, my husband of 28 yrs went from verbal to physical abuse. I put up with the abuse for 2 years and I knew he had a big problem with anger but would not get help for it. I had no choice but to leave and I got a protective order. The turning point was not just the abuse but when he said to me " I ALLOW you" to make any decisions that I had been making for the past 2 years. Even though he was incoherent for 1 1/2 years after the stroke and I was forced to make all decisions. He did not remember how I had to teach him to walk and handle the closing of his business as he was not able to function at that capacity. When he came back as this totally different person, he was full of anger and took everything out on me.
Nancy Albro, you don't deserve to be with a narcissist!
When my narcissistic ex started therapy, I thought he would finally see the light and he did! He admitted he had issues with respecting people's boundaries and that he didn't feel anything for people. He concluded that was the reason why I had to make an effort In this relationship. No kidding!
I politely said no because I wanted to be happy and deserve to take care of myself. He could be responsible of himself. I cut all contacts! The best decision of my life!
Yes the self absorbed narc will always find a way to be the centre of everything. Good on you for walking away.
Girlfriend, 🙌 I’m praying for your strength. Take time to know yourself and love yourself.🙏💕
Brave lady. Abuse is often not visible. Happiness is being at peace with yourself.
Thank you for sharing. When I was married, I was verbally abused. After divorce, I felt better because I didn’t yell at myself, call myself names or belittle myself. I was at liberty to make choices for myself and it was great. I’ve been divorced 11 years. It gets sweeter as the days go by. Marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship. Amen. #staystrong
DMedina Hawks love your comment & exactly how I feel 12 years later..... I cherish the peace of mind the most
Debra Medina, you are too precious to be with a narcissist!
I want to first say YOU LOOK PHENOMENAL!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for sharing your story.
Good for you for starting over 👍 The harder part is knowing we must get out in order to survive .I'm glad you have put yourself first ❤️
Sue S,hope you are not with a narcissist!
Most of these types of men have some deep-seated hatred toward their mothers. That anger could not be expressed during childhood to their mothers. Once they are in a relationship or marriage with a woman, all that anger gets released-the wrong way on the wrong person.
True!
This could be true about women. Their father was a bastard to them so they hate men in general
Jim Williams Yes. Women may also have this problem of hating the opposite sex because of what their fathers did to them. However, women are less inclined toward having their anger/hatred manifest in violence toward men.
Redfishswimming Never said they were. I am referring to cases of men beating women, abusing women in a physical and emotional manner. That is really the subject of THIS video. When I find a video concerning women abusing men or anyone else, then I examine the psychological pathology of women. Learn how to stay focused on the topic at hand. I can’t be expected to detail all the social ills of the universe in one RUclips comment.
@@rozchristopherson648 🖒👏
Your story is so similar to mine. I was married 30 years when I finally got out. Freedom to make my own decisions about how I spend my money, what I eat, what I watch on tv, when I go to bed, when I get up on the weekends is all priceless. Not having someone control your every move is so rewarding. I can identify with your story.
Amen.
So true!! 😊
True but I’ve had that freedom for 45 years and it is also true that it has made my life feel empty and pointless. And you miss out on so much. There are lots of things I cannot do alone, like hire a boat, and many the holiday I have taken alone and spent it in tears with the loneliness. Abuse from a spouse must be worse than being single but they are both unhealthy debilitating experiences that nobody deserves or wants. You might be happy being single now, but that’s only because it is new to you. Incidentally maybe the husband mentioned in the video was suddenly abusive because he was developing an illness like dementia or depression or something else.
Its a choice the abuser makes... To abuse.
No spouse deserves it esp me.
The same thing happened to me at 64. When he came home. I was gone. We are to old for that s**t. Especially when we are good to them.
“When someone shows you who they are, believe them” wise words
Oprah's words
@@Continental123-i2n Maya Angelou
@@Continental123-i2n Not Oprah, Dr. Maya. Angelou
@@beverlyann111 Ok, does ot matter who said it? No. Just sound advice
@@jimwilliams4088But it does matter who said it, please don't give Oprah credit for Dr.Maya Angelou words."When someone shows you who they're believe them the first time".
When you leave the monster you’re also faced with leaving the nice guy. That’s the heartbreak.
Fiona Newport
There was never a nice guy. It was an act from the start. A ploy to keep you in the loop.
💯 OK!
@@hyg44gu54 This is a sweet then cruel cycle as violence tends to be cyclic in nature. The corporate wife was controlled and kept like a bird in a gilded cage. I am pleased she left and found a safe place alone instead of constantly waiting for the next shoe to drop. Unfortunately aggressive and violent rages makes some people feel powerful and in control by disempowering their victim. This was not an equal or healthy relationship. The solution was to leave or risk escalating violence and abuse. Her husband needed help to find ways to cope with stress without using his wife as a verbal punching bag to absorb his inner pain manifested as blind rage on those closest to him.
YES!!!
That is a very profound statement!
I’m in a similar place. I’m almost sixty-one and left 9 months ago with my fifteen year old after 36 years. He also was psychologically/spiritually/verbally abusive. Thank you for sharing your story!!
My husband was 1 of the most horrible human being on this planet. I spent 34 years of my life with that scumbag. He used to spread lies n gossip about me. Not even provide financially. He even raised his hand on my mother. The list is endless. By God's grace I'm alive. After all these years he suddenly died.
Wow! What an awesome testimony and beautiful woman.
Yup, been there...33yrs. Creep... we are survivors. .. taught me a good lesson! Love yourself!!!
Sounds so much like what I went thru. I was married to a physical abuser, got away from him and then met someone else 4 years down the road. He was handsome, kind, smart etc etc etc. Then a month after the wedding, BOOM! Out came the rage. He never hit me but the next 15 years was full of emotional abuse and anger. I lost my independent and strong self trying to make a marriage work because I just didn't want another divorce. It ripped my heart out to leave him. I found out after leaving him that the emotional abuse was far worse than the physical abuse from the first marriage. It took some therapy to put myself back together again. I turned to writing and it's been a God-send. I'm glad this woman was able to get away.
Same with me...3 months after i married my narc the poo poo hit the fan....2 yr separation of which he went wild with his sexual immorality...reconciled after the 2 yrs and within 5 months ....boom! He decided to blame me for his adultery..that was it for me....divorced that narc..free indeed...
@veronica carlson I'm so sorry you went thru that. It is so hard to break the cycle but it can be done. I'm so glad you brought up that you're college educated because many people don't seem to realize that this issue affects everyone. If only we didn't have hearts and emotions life would be so much easier right?
@@polskigirl8547 So glad you got out of that! One does feel free after going thru that crap. Yes, these guys blame everyone but themselves.
@veronica carlson I know exactly what you're going thru. I know what it's like to lose friends and to be lied about. I lost all my friends and my family too due to lies. I've made a few new friends and accepted that my family has problems, it's not me. Just like it's not you! I isolated for awhile too because I hated the world, I was hurting all the time, trusted no one and stopped even making eye contact with people. I was so backwards from who I really am. I've a very open person, make friends easy, I stand up for stuff others won't, and I don't take crap from anyone. This is how I grew up. It's my nature. My ex broke my nature. I retreated into a shell like a snail that sees salt. It was all I could do to get myself to work and do a half decent job. Then I started reading books written by others like you and I. It was a saving grace. I love to read anyway and I write as well. Please contact me at missyorg1@gmail.com You have a friend here.
@veronica carlson I think I misunderstood. Are you still in the abusive situation?
Mine NEVER apologized or was sorry. No one liked him, not his kids, his siblings, his co-workers, his bosses. He was verbally abusive every day-no good days. I left him the first week we met but sadly went back. Always listen to your gut. I finally walked out after 4 years of hell-best thing I ever did. God bless you.
Tracey Palangio,I admire your lovely smile
I know how she feels . But money can trap you in a emotional abusive relationship and health problems. Sickening
Senora Senora so true!
Excuses tend to suffocate our souls.
I was married to a Narcissistic man for 18 years. We met through my brother who highly recommend him, as well as my parents. I thought he was too good to be true. Long story short...... I lost my finances through a no fault and live on SS only, after working 44 years as an RN. If I think about it I get very bitter, so I focus on my life ahead...of peace, and trust in a real man, which I have never had. Women, get out! Before this happens to you! Save yourself and don’t think about what “others will say”🤗
Money is what the ladies love. Really screws up normal guys
@@pauljoey7977 And yet so many men use it as a tool to keep women in an abusive marriage. Cuts both ways.
Public persona is so different from personal persona. Co-workers don't realize what he's really like as in the movie "The Wife". Denial is common. I used to believe what he said without question. I also allowed or tolerated unacceptable behavior until I decided enough, choosing a plan to leave. Now I set and enforce boundaries. Thank you for your story. I'm 64 years and expect the divorce proceedings to end soon.
enjoy your beautiful life...we are a tribe
Donna Woodford I wish u well.
I want to see that movie. Thanks!
It's never to late to leave.
Bravo Donna!
At 62 she looks amazing & SURPRISINGLY she doesn't look drained
A narcissist yes typical of their behaviour. Absolutely, nice guy to world abusive at home.
Just listening makes me relive my time in an abusive relationship. 42 years six children! Patricia's book jumped out at me, when I looked for a book for my kids. Eye opening!!!!
My pivotal moment occurred in a restaurant as well. My husband had increasing started to call me a b*tch and a c*nt. I called him on it each and every time. Finally he would not apologize nor retract his comments. It was his birthday, and he and I were in an expensive restaurant and I was paying, as it was his birthday. But to clear the air, after we ordered, I said to him that going forward, it was not ok for him to swear at me any more if he wanted this marriage to remain. Seemed to me a reasonable request. He stood up, and announced "This dinner is over". Meal had not yet arrived. He wanted me to back down. Instead I said "Fine" and walked out ahead of him. I have no idea if he paid. I had to lock my possessions in one room as he was breaking my stuff. I slept in a locked room until I could find a place. We were married 23 years. He just got worse and worse.
You can’t fix these people so don’t waste your precious time and energy trying, they’ll destroy you first.
Truth I left because I was done and wanted to move on
oli I have finally learned that if I’m concerned for people who are suffering, it’s OK to not help troubled people in my personal life. I used to take people into my home and life. Now I volunteer with people through an organization with boundaries in place, and am studying chemical dependency counseling. That’s working out a lot better for me!
@@brittaolson6550 I'm glad you have found a way to still help people and keep yourself safe.
So true! Get out of there!
@@brittaolson6550Your doing good!!😊😊😊
I also did take people in to my home until this last person to be of help to them. Do not now and am working to save up $5000, abuser don't know about, have quite a lot of it, to become a license therapist. With old classes then only will take about a year and will work with an organization to keep good boundaries in place. And RUN to different physical living place😊💐😊
I feels so good to be free from all the rules and the abuse from men . Its so liberating to do what I want and when.i love it I'm so happy now . No one owns anybody
What a beautiful lady ♥
It's sad to be in a relationship with someone who no longer respects you... You have to break away from all Negativity in life and don't let it take you down.....
I'm glad she broke away and can start living her life again, even at 62 it's not to late for happiness.
I did it for 34 yrs. My grown children hated me for the divorce. And now that 15 years has gone by they remember how their mother was and how I am now and we are all together. Freedom peace that is what I got the moment I left him and I've been in paysense only wished I'd done it earlier
Shirley Cogdill, you deserve better
I realise this was posted 8 years ago but I left my husband 9 months ago after 39 years of marriage, he verbally and physically abused me most days and when he didn’t I carried the fear. x I’m 60 years old now and I was with him from 17. I saw him hit his mother before we got married and I should have realised and called it off but I was so young and believe his apologies. Everyone thought he was such a ‘nice guy.’ When I left I took very little with me and he is currently living in the marital home. He won’t allow me back in and he has my mums cherished locket and her ring. I know it doesn’t seem much but it was a treasured possession and I feel so stupid for leaving it behind x
Thank you for sharing your story! One thought...when you say "put a plan in place", yours began with an attorney. When I went to see an attorney, she said "boy (!) you are really good at making bad decisions" and showed me the door when she realized I didn't have much money. In other words, not everyone has the choice EXCEPT to leave with the clothes on their backs. However, if that is the only way out...new clothes are cheaper than attorneys.
You look excellent for your age
@@aliaosman655 wow. That's mean.
Alia Osman, Whoa! Someone pays a compliment and that is what you make of it? She does look amazing and probably looks better now after leaving the guy.
That was my first thought also!Fabulous haircut!
4naturalsistas I was thinking the same thing. That she looked great. You other comment was awful.
Alia Osman you need to educate yourself on the subject before you expose others to your outrageous and ignorant viewpoint.
Peacefulness😊 looks good on you.
I always excused it too. There was a lot of stress. Mostly issues he created but he always blamed other and God. Everyone thought he was a nice guy too. He saved his rage for *just* me. How sweet.
Your story could be mine. I got out after 14 years. Hallelujah!!!!
Well done, Joyce, on getting yourself out of a horrible situation. I spent 20 years telling myself it had to be “my fault”. You’re very brave - and by the way you look fabulous for 62.
My father gave my mom cutting and sarcastic remarks as well. I think because she did not work, he felt he had the right to voice his frustration upon her. She took care of 3 children so she did not sit around being lazy all day. She made sure the house was clean, she prepared the meals, washed the dishes, did the laundry and even trimmed the hedges. She was by no means lazy and always had a smile for him except when he insulted her. Then she had compassion and sorrow in her eyes.
Sooo sad...
@Kitty Bridgeman This can be such a brutal world. Especially for women...😔
Raising child is the hardest of all jobs...
Awww😲.
I've always for most part, took care of house n kids n my Gma n same was put down n felt worthless. Nothing was right.
After 24 yrs i left too !! He drank beer 24/7 screamed and fought all the time been Divorced 7 yrs now all's good now
I hope you spiked his beers😆
@@pamspencer5733 Wedding Crashers can be educational.
You are a beautiful woman. Thank you for this video😘😘😘
Yes, she is; especially with little make up...and 62! If you care to, you could easily get another nice man and he would be so lucky! Best of luck!
You are telling my story for the last 33 years, I left last year , but he did things months before to set up my leaving. He took and hid money , he ghosted me and for the first time in my life I’m starting over but there is so much peace in my life now, my first divorce court is coming up and I will walk into that courtroom knowing he no longer has my power, having 3 kids that still don’t see the truth , they will see my truth and that feels amazing
april fort, you deserve better
My father told me that if someone abuses you; he’ll do it again.
Best advice ever from a father, so true
I should have never taken her back after she cheated on me.
Get clean and sober. Don't post when under the influence.
Excellent information. Let's protect our children and women from this more subtle but equally destructive violence which destroys lives.
PEACE IS SO PRECIOUS✔
NO ONE SHOULD BE GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO STEAL THAT✔
Happy for you. I too was abused in every way imaginable. I got out 9 yrs ago and was in 25 yrs😥😂😵😁😁😁😁😁
25 years for me too. On my way out. It's still painful to do.
Ruby, good for you! Keep moving forward.
@@flgal7788 your heart has been scarred. It's gonna take a lot of time. Keep moving forward though. Best of luck to you always.
Keep in mind to always try to see patterns of abusiveness. Im fortunate to be alive. As for me i didnt allow that to happen, to be abused. When you have loaded guns to your head,,you do exactly what you're told. Im free now and dont take any shit from anyone. I have a voice and know how to speak my mind. And take action.Bless you Ruby.
@@flgal7788 do it! life is so short!
I can totally relate ... except my ex never yelled at me - he was the opposite- he would ignore me and stay silent... mine also was a financial abuser. He was an oil executive... made millions - and did not share or let me nest our home, etc. he finally got a 25 years younger girlfriend and we divorced. It’s been very difficult to get past this life I had with him. I also have PTSD from the emotional pain. I am on the way up though now ! You are beautiful, by the way. Thank you for sharing.
She’sTexan1970 Hope the younger one gives him hell.
The silent treatment is a classic for an abuser. I guarantee you he was cheating and plotting the whole time
Her eyes are speaking too that's when you know she is telling you the truth...... btw beautiful eyes 😍😍😍😍
Good for you!!! You go girl! You are worth a nice man.
Thank you so much for your story. I have lived a similar one. Everyone thinks my husband is such a nice guy. I tell them the story but it's like they just can't believe it. Some do. Im' 61 now and he was so nice after he asked me to marry him. After I did, slowly his rage came out and I was in Hell. I stayed thinking it was me, that he will change if this happens or that happens. I was a 42 year old young at heart pretty women when I met him. The same thing happened to me where everything was his. His job was important, and like everything else, it was his way. I had no choices. Then my mom passed suddenly and I needed to stay. By the time 2011 came around I saw a lawyer. But she made it clear I wouldn't be able to have enough money unless I stayed longer. So I did. It's too long to write it out. I got the same book and he fit much of it. His rage hurt my ears. They ring now easily. I'm working my way out.
Melinda Smith You need to get out ASAP because he could easily physically injure you. Be careful.
These men do this to isolate you and control you. You are lovely and he obviously was trying to compensate for the fact that he is not a good person(ugly inside) I'm a survivor of physical and verbal abuse and I'm so glad you are free to be the person you are. I
I was isolated and controled. Lonely, sad and depressed. They are masters of hiding their true face. It comes and progress gradually, so eventually you are just stuck in this overwhelming swamp that sucks you up deeper and deeper, and you have no idea how to get out and escape👿
Same! Her book fell on my foot at a bookstore!! I completely changed my life after reading this book. Life is beautiful 💐
Jessica Jessica Jessica,you got a lovely smile
I left 28 yrs ago, & yes I had the physical verbal & mental abuse, the physical was as bad as can be, in my first marriage. To the point he tried to murder me & that pain i live today is a result of that, 32yrs after. My second relationship was mainly verbal, but every bit as bad as the physical & if not worse! I stayed 5 yrs & left, but it didn't end there. For 13 yrs i was stalked, it didnt matter where i went what i had or every house move, he found me. He talked to neighbors & ran me down to them, he would get into my home of a night, etc etc. But i have been free of that for 15yrs & free of anyother man ever harming me again. So i say, believe it if they tell you they will kill you, & with the first slap punch push kick, because it never stops there it can only get worse. I love my life & now wouldnt change it for anything.
Thank you for sharing your experience. This might help many women on their journey to independence.
Sounds just like my ex covert narcissist. Charismatic and charming to others. Controlling and you are a resource for their narc supply. It's all about them. They will shift the blame on you. Never apologize or accountability. They deny deny deny.
Yep... All Narcassist are truly sadistic, fraudulent, and pitifully individuals.
Satan needs to come collect all his narcassistic children and take them back to hell with him.
Story of my life for 11years. It will change you and isolate you from people. It will make you lonely to the core. But there is a hope to grow from the ashes once you leave him to start rebuilding your life and your happinnes. God bless to those that escaped😍
Yes... This is my story too. I applaud your courage.
God put your story in front of me today as I struggle with my separation. Divine timing.
#womenhelpingwomen
Nina K,You deserve better 🙏
@@oscarwilliamson6163 damn straight! 💯
@@ninak8506 I will be glad to know you.I am Oscar Williamson from Swansboro,NC.Are you on Facebook so we can always talk?
@@oscarwilliamson6163 no I'm sorry
@@ninak8506 What about whatsapp or Google chat?
This is my exact story at 55. I left 3 times and came back. It got worst every time I came back. My third time I created a plans and left while he was at work. My only regret was…. Why did I not do this sooner
Yes, we allowed it to happen. Never again. Learning Self-love is essential.♥️
Well said. After year 25. I knew it was over. Year 30, at 50 years old, I left. Devastated, it is now year 16 since I left. Definitely suffering from PTSD. He took me to court last winter. To stop the alimony.
There is a special place for him when he dies.
This is me with my parents ... still working on it as now know it’s not stress or their health issues, it’s them. Thank you for this as a version of it is my life. My parents weapon of choice is money and emotional abuse ... horrible.
I applaud your strength. I respect your journey. I wish you a long life filled with much-deserved happiness!
When you are raised by narcissistic verbal abusers, you probably attract the same sort of mate. My ex was a Dr .Jekyll/ Mr. Hyde. Women and men can be equally verbally abusive. The damage is just as brutal as physical abuse. Patricia Evan's books are spot-on about everything. There's lots of RUclips videos on dealing with narcissist verbal abusers. There should be classes in schools about this.
Well done. I suffered 30 years with the full package.
Fortunately he died due to health complications.
BUT, the victim is hurt and healing is another story.
Wow....sounds like they might need to exhumed him for an investigation. 🙁
I was sad to read your story, but I was glad to see that you look beautiful considerably younger than you are. I learned a lesson in not retaliating because I would have picked up a fork in the restaurant and given it to him for dinner.
I was married 25 years to stealthily covert narcissist, a sociopath to the inth power , yet without ceremony I put him out. Loving yourself is very important. That has always been a blessing for me. even though you will meet women who are infinitely worse off than you are, it doesn't mean you're story is not important We need more women like you who will tell their story. We need more women to Rally round and help each other. I'll be the first one to volunteer.
Im so glad you left !!!!!!!
Well done. You look absolutely fabulous.
Awesome book reference! I read it too. Leaving a 34 yr marriage at 59 yrs! I am youthful too and hope I will have a shiny new life in time!
I would love to hear an update from this woman. This is the best that I have heard and helped me so much.
Never be surprised at what one human can do to another.
Blessings from Wolverhampton England to you.
What a beautiful woman. She did the right thing. I too was in a violent physically abusive marriage and wrote the book LOOK ME IN THE EYE- Caryl Wyatt
There is only one way to solve an abusive relationship run don't walk.
Wow! Patricia Evans' books are what put all the pieces together for me too! I devoured 3 of them in like 2 weeks when I first started thinking of leaving my ex-husband. Sounds so much like my story. 2015 was the year for me too! Congratulations on your new life! Great message and so true - Don't ever go back!
They isolate you, then let the emotional abuse begin! Exactly, the world revolved around him.
My Breakthrough book was "The Sociopath Next Door" at the Library.
Thank you for your testimony. I didn't know who I was. Was married to the Narc for 30 long years. Thankful to the Lord for saving me from that life of complete oppression.
That book helped me, too. Interestingly, my daughter found it for me.
Yes, isolation! It’s horrible. I’m sorry you had it for 30 years, I endured it for 7 and thankfully didn’t Marry the man!
I was in an abusive relationship.Married 31 years .
The best day of my life was when I left my abuser to find myself again to better my future.
I always said,when people would say( " He's such a nice guy,") try living with him...,.
life's too short for that crap....good for you! Smart move.
@@matthewholmes7597 I am well and you?
@@matthewholmes7597 aw thank you, flattered but I am a married woman :) Have a wonderful day :)
@@matthewholmes7597 I do look nice in leather trousers...how'd you know? lol
@@matthewholmes7597 older? wtf?
I experienced similar. So happy for you. Thanks for sharing.
Linda Schoenherr,You look gorgeous,Hope you are not with a narcissist.....
I happen to think that being by oneself after a controlling relationship is just the best freedom. I was married for forty years.
He obviously did not take your beauty or intelligence away. Kudos to you, enjoy your new life!
Mary Frances Carlton, you look stunning