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Wow.... I went through a relationship identical to this for 4 years. He gave me a black eye and a busted lip for spending £1 on milk, amongst other assaults. I was saved by a police officer as I was ready to jump off a bridge to end it all. That was 15 years ago now, and I'm happily married of 10 years to the officer who saved my life.
@@artisticaquarius_ I am thank you. Married to the man who rescued me, and still very much in love. I learnt from it and never look back now. I am a much stronger minded person from it, and strive to help men and women going through the same thing I did. Xx stay safe my friend xx
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I am a nurse in ICU. I had a patient who was in a car accident and his wife called and asked me how long he would be in the hospital, "Maybe 2 or 3 days" I told her. I thought she was asking because she wanted him home. She was asking because she was trying to get away and wanted to know go how much time she had.
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he, mr. spock means hes a womanbeater ;) i live with a dude who is similar to the one in the video... @@chantaviablanche dont even give him your time of day love hes trolin
Fear is a good measure of a relationship. Thank you so much for commenting on Purgatory! We really need your help with our next film BREAKDOWN. We’re offering perks like signed scripts, invites to set, even the chance to BE IN THE FILM! Please help us, by checking out our short concept video and explanatory video from Director Jack Stockley on this channel. We really need your support to reach our goal, so if you can, please contribute to the campaign and PLEASE share the link to it - igg.me/at/breakdown/
I feared some of my family members until one day they hit me so badly. My advice is to trust your feelings. When you fear someone, he/she will harm you someday.
And remember if you have to literally PLOT an escape plan, you ARE valid as a survivor no matter WHAT they did to you. Humans have a secret sense of danger and when you get it from another person, ITS FOR A FUCKING REASON! Better to sound crazy or dramatic than to be a silent victim trapped to death. You get one life, don’t waste it trying to wait out the evils of another.
Not a bad idea. Thank you so much for watching and commenting on Purgatory! Please click the like button and sub to the channel, as it makes the algorithm spread the film :)
I think that would save more people and even help the survivors which sadly I have been in extreme ex physical, mentally,even had S. assault me yet he let go because his own grandmother hired her grandson to have a help with lawyer I was left with No because the Female Judge ordered & Told for both my mother and his Grandmother out of the Court room .. it was my self to the Order of Protection Count room trying to keep together. I was fearful so badly that I was unable to stop crying and shaking in and started having an anxiety attack what caused by My ex bf who I was getting triggered by him and his scent and everything I know which is in his fully twisted in mindset of been which then I tried to take a few seconds . Then next thing I know they told it to drop and I was unable to get an order of protection even though I had a police report and also from township of where I lived both saying about his crime against me and my safety. And it messed up now because my now 2nd ex boyfriend is completely normal looking male and even tries to lie on how he allowed us to enjoy Karaoke Bar Fridays nights together then use the gaslighting of me about how I am unable to handle my alcohol. So that is my fault no one else. Which he actually drove after the bar back to the basement of his mom's house where he had his friend waiting for him and I to arrive since he did not act like the normal Yelling towards his same friend who then goes to sexual assault me while he never stopped them . And they all knowledge about me being intoxicated with alcohol and even had blacked to different times with different friends of Sean castle and he has a domestic history check background should places on his real so called dating app like meet m e , Tinder , and any one could be telling their some one else and then all of sudden after 14 years of me a s this male who actually never told his legit name and after looking up his cell phone which he actually told his own brother age and making me feel like it not be deal because I was legally yet I young and that nice . He always has been kind to me and even has saved me when I had been homeless which I just wish some would be honest with the websites to check some base or points. Which can save lives even when we all would not be expecting it .
We'd advocate for this too. Thank you for watching and commenting! we are trying to raise awareness and help those in need, which is why we have our online shop - purgatory.online/collections/all - Please consider donating, sharing and don't forget to subscribe :)
My best friend was killed when she tried to leave her abuser. It’s so important to have a plan to leave safely and avoid confrontation. We need more resources for abused women.
This is what people don't understand. They don't or won't believe that someone would hurt their partner, let alone take their life. "Just Leave" isn't always an option. It's hard to hear when people don't get that, so thank you for sharing this story. Thanks for watching and commenting. We are raising donations to help those in need, which is why we're selling a £1 'ticket' -if you liked our film and what we're trying to do, please consider buying a £1 ticket as a donation - purgatory.online/products/movie-ticket-donation - Please share our film and website, and don't forget to subscribe :)
I'm very sorry to hear that your friend passed away from such a Devil of a POS. I'm sorry and I pray God's holding her tightly keeping her safe. I pray all these bastards whether it be a MAN OR WOMAN BC BOTH ARE JUST AS BAD WHEN THEIR NARRSASISTIC AND A FUCKED UP PHYCHOPATH... I HOPE THEY ALL GO TO HELL AND GET KARMA WHILE HERE ON EARTH SOMEHOW SLOW AND PAINFULL TOO. I left my comment on myself right underneath the directors comment on top and just scratch a small part out of my hell. I'm sorry she wasn't able to make it out. I lost forever my father's side of the family and it kills me to this day bc of what my ex did that I will always be blamed for by all my family except my momma. But she passed away sept.6th 2019 and was my ONLY and each other's Best friends..... IT still hurts and ducks me up to this day that I wish most day's I wasn't here... Sorry again and also for my message. It's almost 8yrs AWAY from THAT SCUMBAG AND I STILL FEEL FUCKED UP.....XOXO😇🙏💞🌹🌹🌹💐🌠🌌
I'm sorry for ur loss 🙏 my condolences this is why I'm so scared to leave the narcissist but I'm planning.i feel like I would rather be with God than with the narcissist. narcissist make life a living hell every day.
This is exactly why I’m so damn picky. I will not end up trapped in a house heavy with anger and fear like I always have been. I will build a house full of love and gentleness.
Sounds like a nice house to live in. Thank you so much for commenting on Purgatory! We really need your help with our next film BREAKDOWN. We’re offering perks like signed scripts, invites to set, even the chance to BE IN THE FILM! Please help us, by checking out our short concept video and explanatory video from Director Jack Stockley on this channel. We really need your support to reach our goal, so if you can, please contribute to the campaign and PLEASE share the link to it - igg.me/at/breakdown/
Dear madam, your blog is very interesting.please pay attention! Dear sirs and madams. I suggest creating a petition of giving castration and life imprisonment to those who tortured and injured and killed violently like this, rapists and those who tried to rape as well, even if teher was no penetration. To establish procedure of giving evidence due to poligraphs, detectors of lie. to establish cameras in many parts of building and streets as possible,c . Because teher are many cases when rapist repeat the crimes and cruelty after serving in prison. They should be isolated and deprived of opportunity to rape again. and change the law allowing to injure rapists and robbers in self defense and during protecting of victims. and when you are witness of cruelty on the street or in family record secretly the video. When you hear children screaming and crying miserable, please do not ignore and tru to fond out what happened and address local or find in Google or Facebook pages groups for Domestic Violence Victims Helpline, Domestic Violenec Victims Support, Domestic Violence Victims Rehabilitation centers. When you see cruelty on the street somewhere else, try to figure out and follow them secretly where they learn, record it. At least try to talk to the aggressor if their children are unwanted peacefully. Show victims you care. Write om paper ;show the aggressor link and group, link and names of articles about anger managment.
Thats what i want to do, too. My late gf whom i lost four years ago, was one of a special kind of person. Gentle, warmhearted, loving, an absolute gem among humans .. so the bar lies high for any aspirant. I am currently transforming my Home into a kind of fresh start for my life, still cherishing her memory but letting go. And any other possible Partner will have a hard time going through that doorstep.
The way he blamed her mother for ruining the meal is so realistic 😭 abusers are usually narcissistic and in their eyes they’re never in the wrong. Like they really truly believe it’s not their fault. It’s so scary how delusional they are.
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Thanks for the video. Your comments accurately describes my husband and his mother. If not for his betrayal last fall, I wouldn't have realized how much he had been manipulating me and blaming me for his abusive ways.
They know exactly it's them. For them it's all perverse and gratuitous entertainment at their victims's expence. I just watched a few Dr. Phil movies on narcissists before i watched this.
Si, es muy bueno ver cómo hay maltratadores, sin importar el género. Porque conozco mujeres que también son así, conocí una señora que dejó a su marido y a sus hijos por otro hombre. Un espanto
The invalidating of her feelings, the constant "patching up" after being agressive, the manipulating, the small comments to break down her selfimage, the isolation from her family, the blaming, this is so accurate.
Thanks for paying so much attention to the film and the details. Thank you for watching and commenting! we are trying to raise awareness and help those in need, which is why we have our online shop - purgatory.online/collections/all - Please consider donating, sharing and don't forget to subscribe :)
My husband doesn't even apologize for his emotional abuse. He blames the violent verbal abusive episodes on his over eating and high blood sugar. He is never sorry for any of his cruelty.
@@mariariley3894 Like me you will probably have never heard the word sorry and he's most likely very good at turning it all back on you. They are seriously ill people.
Pure narcissistic cruelty and abuse. They act so nice in public and everyone thinks that they are soooo sweet and nice. Behind closed doors they are evil monsters. This movie is so real. Thank you so much for producing this movie.
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They "act" nice at home too, they're just extremely condescending and passive aggressive, until you say something back and then the real them comes out and they become verbally, physically and sometimes sexually aggressive.
@@BlueMuseProductions why are you mentioning PewDiePie in hashtags? You're manipulating the algorithm, hoping it'll go in your favor by trying to piggy back off a PewDiePie hashtag. This channels videos have nothing to do with him. You're going against RUclips's policy and you're abusing the functions of hashtags. I could give a shit less about RUclips's policies but you are abusing the function of a hashtag. When someone searches PewDiePie's hashtags they're looking for videos related to him, not yours.
@@mandielou In the description we simply wrote "we want to get more views than a #pewdiepie video." YT put that hashtag on the top - we've since removed the hashtag, but kept the wording. We weren't deliberately trying to manipulate anything.
Goes for anyone in life, really. Please hit the like button and sub to the channel for more :) - Thank you so much for commenting on Purgatory! We really need your help with our next film BREAKDOWN. We’re offering perks like signed scripts, invites to set, even the chance to BE IN THE FILM! Please help us, by checking out our short concept video and explanatory video from Director Jack Stockley on this channel. We really need your support to reach our goal, so if you can, please contribute to the campaign and PLEASE share the link to it - igg.me/at/breakdown/
Exactly, I have done this and you end up losing respect for yourself in the process which can set off a vicious cycle of always attracting/being attracted to the wrong type of men
When she was excited about wearing the dress and having her hair down . Only to be told it didn’t look good ; only to be told she wasn’t good enough - he makes fun of her for being happy about having her hair down. The small things and the realism brings me to tears.
Thank you for your comments. Thanks for watching and commenting. We are raising donations to help those in need, which is why we're selling a £1 'ticket' -if you liked our film and what we're trying to do, please consider buying a £1 ticket as a donation - purgatory.online/products/movie-ticket-donation - Please share our film and website, and don't forget to subscribe :)
The narcissist/coercive controller I was with 3 years ago told me after I moved in that I now always had to wear my hair up (he even got angry when I took my hair clip out to go to sleep) and he was bizarre about how I dressed; said I was now a reflection of him. Although I managed to escape a few months later, I will never actually be free from the threat of his vengeance (he promised to kill me if I ever hurt him or left him).
After our first child I decided to fix my hair and make-up because that was something that I hadn't done in awhile. I was excited for him to see me and when he did he said that I looked like a $2 hooker. In all the 18 years we've been together, he's only given me a handful of genuine compliments and neverending insults and accusations. I seem frozen in my will to leave, it's the unknown of what will happen because he's filled my mind of images of how he will hurt me and anyone else that ever slighted him in his life.
I think what shocked me most about this was seeing how quickly the abuser could flip between adoration and praise to insults and outbursts of rage. Like in the beginning I even thought "Where is this going? He seems pretty nice... is she the abuser in this film?". And sadly I think that's why a lot of this goes unnoticed. Abusers usually know how to appear charming and loving in front of other people, so they're shocked when their victims come out with allegations.
The character took you for a ride in this film. He's trying to fool the viewer. Thanks for watching Purgatory! Please CLICK THE LIKE BUTTON & SUBSCRIBE to the channel, as it makes the algorithm spread the film and our message of support :)
Listen to the seemingly caring sentences - they have an edge to them - first thing on waking - 'lazy baby' (why not a cheerful 'hey, sleeping beauty') Ever hear of compliments I wish I had not got? e.g. that is a great pic of you, amazing what a good photographer can do. Passive aggressive and always has an edge that is cutting in an underhanded way.
It's also why victims have so much trouble leaving. The disparity between the two behaviors causes a crazy-making degree of cognitive dissonance, is perhaps what someone else might say. It undermines your sanity. You don't know what to think any more. (No, not me. I'm just here to learn, like you.)
17 year Domestic Abuse Survivor here. "Just leave" is harder than it seems. The control tactics are so terrifying. With the phone in my hand, attempting to call 911,I was grabbed from behind and told "You go ahead and call them, you'll bleed out before they get here". On aother occasion, when I was trying to run away, it was made clear to me that any such future attempt would result in him taking my children "...so far away you'll NEVER see them again". Leaving was so hard, and even with restraining orders, he still ran me off the road in my car, threw a brick through my car door so hard that it penetrated the steel (he was aiming at me)... And I even awakened one morning to a strange noise, raised on one elbow to look out the window that was above the bed where I was sleeping, and came face-to-face with him. This was ALL while supposedly under the protection of the law. It's no wonder so many women just never make it out alive. I'm just glad he wasn't more insistent upon my demise, or I wouldn't be here to write this today. I believe his narcissistic love for himself is the only thing that kept him from a murder charge and prison time.
Please don't give up on yourself, for you children. I'm very sorry you have to go through that situation, I hope you'll get situation get better soon :(
Well done for leaving my partner long ago literally just never said sorry once I stupidly also went through 20"years of abuse with 3 different partners. You think I would have learnt the first time. But as you know you re made to feel like you can't make it on your own and that you're stupid and ugly and that you're lucky to have them. Literally said sorry 500times a day and wasn't allowed to cry. Been free from them 8years now. The first 3years were the hardest but it has got easier
@@xobls IT ISN'T love ,they only care about themselves. When he drugged her I was hoping he'd drink it himself by mistake,then she could have tried to escape . But she was in denial anyway .
My abusive ex believed if I cried I was just doing it to piss him off. If I managed not to cry he would keep at me until I did and then he could be "rightfully" angry because I was crying to upset HIM.
The part that she cries in the bathroom but tries not to cry so loud so he can hear brought back so much memories for me. She even got scared at some point and halted her cry for a second because she heard a noise and thought maybe it’s him behind the door to evaluate the situation for a second, then she continued crying. I was in that situation before.
Sounds like you went through a tough time. We truly hope that you have found some happiness and love in your life. Thanks for watching so acutely; noticing the small things and for commenting. We are raising donations to help those in need, which is why we're selling a £1 'ticket' -if you liked our film and what we're trying to do, please consider buying a £1 ticket as a donation - purgatory.online/products/movie-ticket-donation - Please share our film and website, and don't forget to subscribe :)
@@daniellebrown4757 we hope the film didn't upset you too much. Thank you for sharing about some of your experiences. We hope that you're in a happy and healthy life now
For me was the part " today is going to be a good day". I knew that something was not right" I am single now....part of me is scared of getting into a relationship and losing myself again. I got a cat now. I feel happier on my own. Yes, I get lonely at times, but It is better being lonely alone than being scared to say or do something. I feel safe.
In the beginning of the control cycle of an abusive relationship, if you hear yourself saying "I'm sorry", for nothing you did, it is a red flag. If you say it twice in one day, it is a warning. If you say "I'm sorry", more than three times in a day get your ass out of there, now! It will only get worse.
THIS. Thank you OP - this is what victims (especially women, who have been conditioned since birth to never take up space in the world) need to hear. A colleague of mine did not realize until she started working that she apologized so much, until she was finally told (off?) by our boss to stop her overt apologizing. The effects of living with only ONE other adult, under ONE roof. Women should NEVER make the mistake of giving up career to raise family: it is NOT noble to risk being killed so your children are left ORPHANS. I use the word 'orphans' coz the abuser DID not, DOES not and WILL NEVER care about the children anyway - children are used as pawns/trump cards by abusers against their partners. Never, EVER make it easier for the abuser to isolate you, socially + emotionally AND financially, especially when things are going WELL say in the beginning of marriage/cohabitation. Abuse occurs over time WITHOUT you realizing it, until you are all broken and a shell of a human being - too weak to get out or expect any better, thus achieving the abuser's desired end result.
Love how they demonstrate the abuser is “there” but truly not there, like an empty shell of a person. No real intimacy. How she has become isolated. The silent pauses that have more hatred than screams. The million “I love you”s that carry no weight.
I also like how they showed how an abuser will rob you of any confidence you have. She came out looking gorgeous with her hair down and a dress and she was smiling and confident and then he destroyed it by saying she basically didn't look good. Then she immediately pulls her hair back and lowers her head. An abuser's way of keeping the victim under control. Lacking confidence will make it harder for her to leave.
My mother was like this. What emotional abuse does to a person is just... It just makes you want to die so badly... Especially if it's coming from people who are supposed to love you. The constant hot-cold treatment, the subtle putdowns, the fear when talking about how I spend my money or what I plan to do with my life. The "fights" that left me crying my eyes out wishing to die. Knowing deep down she doesn't give a shit about how I feel or what I need and never did. What made it so hard to get to the bottom of it was that she suddenly became "nice" after our fights and there it was again - hope. Hope that finally things are going to change. When you are isolated and have few people to cling to, you tend to settle for this and go on. What is important to understand is that there are people who can absolutely not be helped. They cannot change. All you can do is leave. Whenever someone questions my decision to leave my family behind for good, my heart breaks. What people don't understand is that you can't work everything out. Yes, even if it is family! Some people are so rotten from the inside, there is just no hope. I wish more people would understand that. Learning about narcissism was my way out of this hell.
So true it's heartbreaking and somehow you manage too live the best of your ability 🙏. God loves us through it anyways no matter how hard it may seem it's your going to be okay hopefully someday ❣️❣️❣️. Part of me died but then their life afterwards without them too break free from the agony somehow I have managed too embrace pain from trauma as it comes instead of fighting against it
I made my own chosen family of friends when I left home. I knew that if I stayed that I would have killed myself. The crazy thing was that I missed my real family so much. But I realise that it was a dream I made up in my head. When I would visit home I thought that they would be happy to see me.... It was only for the first hour when I gave out presents..... Then they were just as abusive as ever. They would punish me for going away. They grind you down and destroy your self esteem. I wished I could take my sisters and brother with me. But it wasn't possible. They didn't want to leave. It was all they had known.
I am I the situation you were before. I figured out a few weeks ago that my mom is like that. I still cannot believe. I found out through my friend who said she is respectless.. (is it respectless or unrespectful?) I dont know. And never realized that because it was normal for me. Then I watched her and how she is talking to people. She lives in her own world. I got a borderline personality disorder and my whole life i thought it comes from my dads behavior, because he wasnt there. . But the doctor said its not from my dad. He was only not there because of my mom (!!!) My mom is like a devil. And thats the reason she never knew something about my illness ever since. When diagnosed I was 13 and still she always asks why i am so sensitive.. tz. She knows nothing about borderline. Its disgusting. I was shocked then and tried to find out more about respect. And my friend was right. My dad helps me now because he said, he could do nothing to save us- we believed in her so hard, we didnt listen to him any time because of her manipulating us. So i found out that she didnt "gave" us our dad, .... for 30 years I thought he left. She said to me "he didnt want you" as i was a kid. Its so terrible.. Im still in shock. Dont know what to do. My life is a lie. I dont know what is right or wrong. I feel like the unworthy individual on earth. I hate myself for not believing my emotions and go with my dad when i was little. I wanna quit with my mom. Two weeks eatlier we were best friends. She doesnt know whats happening with me now- this is, with my disability, a living hell for me. One day i have to explain. Or not? When you broke with her, did u explain why? I guess its all my fault and she will say :ok then. When you want to go- go. Without a tear That will hurt the most.
I was actually so scared whenever the abusive husband had an outburst. The actor did a good job of portraying that. This is so scary to see on-screen, but to think this happens even in real life is even scarier to think about.
Trust me, it is WAY scarier and very much confusing when it happens in real life, especially when you are a peaceful and non-confrontational person. This is like an avalance which rolls over you.
It’s a shame that help is usually on a waiting list or appointment based schedule. Some people don’t have families or even close enough friends to help. Reaching out to a neighbor or even someone you might see at a grocery store, anything is worth the effort to save yourself. Telling your abuser you are leaving is very dangerous. Plan ahead with people you can trust and take someone with you, preferably a strong man to get your personal things. DON’T do it alone. No matter how well you think you know someone a person is never prepared for what might set off an abuser and what life threatening act can happen. I know a lot of women know this fact, but there are a lot of women who have died trying to leave. Don’t make the mistake in thinking it could never happen to you. A lot of women who thought the very same thing are no longer with us.🙏❤️🌷
As a father of daughters, I wish this sort of film was shown in every school to all genders. I've been in a similar situation with a woman who was very controlling. I had to warm my own mom to not call so I wouldn't get "into trouble". If you wake up each day hoping it's "one of the good days" with your partner, you need to get out. And don't be afraid to ask your friends/family for help.
That’s a really good point. My dad is a narcissist and my first thought waking up every morning was exactly as you said, just praying that it was one of the good days. One of the days where he’d work longer than usual.
What if somebody is in a relationship with narcisstic guy and that person is alone? Don't have family or friends and the only close person is her abusive partner? People who are lonely find harder to break that chain.
I’m amazed by the dead on accurate depiction of what it’s really like to live through this kind of abuse. It’s like the writers read my diary. I’m 16 months safe, after 14 years of rape in my sleep. It’ll take the rest of my days to heal, and I’m grateful I had the courage to seek help.
Sending you love and support from the writer and the entire cast and crew. We're glad to hear that you're safe! thank you for being brave enough to comment.
I'm sorry that happened to you....I'm glad you got out and are now safe. This video and your comment was educational for me. I didnt know that some domestic abusers do this. Their level of depravity seems to know no end. Im Still Really shocked
Damn, I notice some controlling behaviors in myself. I recognize the "but it's up to you" when I say it after offering advice, sometimes unsolicited advice. I need to check myself more to make sure I let go of the urge to control.
Its always a good idea to work on yourself, even if you're not a bad person! Thank you so much for commenting on Purgatory! We really need your help with our next film BREAKDOWN. We’re offering perks like signed scripts, invites to set, even the chance to BE IN THE FILM! Please help us, by checking out our short concept video and explanatory video from Director Jack Stockley on this channel. We really need your support to reach our goal, so if you can, please contribute to the campaign and PLEASE share the link to it - igg.me/at/breakdown/
What he was doing was even more insidious than giving her unsolicited advice. He was hoping she would take the sleeping pill on top of the alcohol he had given her earlier, so that he could rape her that night. The underlying cause of the blood in her urine, apparently. So he must have been raping her quite violently. But I'm glad you're noticing and committed to stopping even mildly controlling behaviors, and not brushing it off because "at least I'm not as bad as that guy."
When she was washing the dishes, they showed him in the back quietly adding something in the glass before pouring the alcohol. So he drugged her with the alcohol. Probably the same sleeping pills she be taking or he had something even stronger.
This is spot on. I was married to this guy for fifteen years. In the beginning he was wonderful. He was the perfect guy and moved very fast, marriage within six months. I was only nineteen and he was thirty. It was intoxicating at first but then it slowly turned to hell. Like being slowly boiled alive and you don't even realize it. Luckily we did not have any children. Maybe it was my body's way of protecting me. I ended up having a moment of clarity after yet another of his almost daily episodes. I made a break for it while I had the courage. I decided that I would rather be dead than be with that evil monster for one more day. I took a small bag of clothing and jumped into my car and never looked back. Left all the trappings behind, house, furniture, stuff, it didn't matter. He harassed me for a couple years , until he found a new woman to torture. I hope she was able to escape as well. That was twenty three years ago and my life has been remarkably better. Don't give up, get out, deal with the fall out, fight for your life, you can rebuild, I promise, you're worth it.
I only realized about two years ago that the reason for my extreme anxiety, lack of self love or compassion, and unavoidable thirst for toxic relationships was a result of being abused as a child. People will have you believe that abuse can only be physical. But this simply isn’t true. 😔
After 5 years with an abusive partner just like this, I broke up with him and he stalked me and attempted to kill me with a kitchen knife in my bedroom. It’s truly not always easy to “just leave”
@Olivia K it’s terrifying and I still think about him coming after me again when he gets out of jail as well. I’m so sorry you went through such a similar situation though!
so many people don't believe that this is real or can happen, we like to think it's because most people are well-natured, but that doesn't help victims. We hope you are safe and have a strong and large support network of friends and family. Thank you for watching and commenting! we are trying to raise awareness and help those in need, which is why we have our online shop - purgatory.online/collections/all - Please consider donating, sharing and don't forget to subscribe :)
@Olivia K so many people in these comments need to be made aware of this! it's not a film, it's real life. sending love and support. Thank you for watching and commenting! we are trying to raise awareness and help those in need, which is why we have our online shop - purgatory.online/collections/all - Please consider donating, sharing and don't forget to subscribe :)
I got tired of it. I just called the cops whenever he was stupid enough to show up. I was thinking, sh*t, go ahead. They'll know EXACTLY who did it. Lol
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I'm a male, and I fell into a narcissists trap. She controlled me, abused me, and manipulated me for 6 years. People always tell me I let her and that I should have been able to defend myself cause I'm a fighter. But if you haven't been in this relationship dynamic, you'll never understand. I just broke off a relationship with a girl after 2 months because I was noticing the same red flags as my ex. Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice...
Not to pry but if you just broke it off with a potential abuser, your last abusive relationship lasted 6 years, and you now have a new gf in your profile perhaps you are not taking the time to figure out why you attract that type of person. Do you fear being single/alone? I noticed that about myself which is why I took the time to be single and learn myself.
@@squarebear619 I'm not trying to be argumentative here, but genuinely inquisitive. How does one go about figuring that out? Because I'm not like that. I'm nice and caring and treat everyone with respect. I'm not particularly violent or rude or harsh. So why do I attract those types. I just changed my pfp because her and I are no longer together either. Kinda odd. It's a long story but the girl that was in my pfp and I have known each other for 15 years and always had a thing for each other. I finally gave it a shot and it was going great. Then one day quickly fell apart. So strange how that happens. And all she said was, I am going through more than anyone in the world right now and that she didn't want my help anymore. So idk what I'm doing wrong but apparently I am. Because I keep failing in relationships. That's alright. One day I'll find the one. And if not, then I'll just live for my son. Not that I already don't. But im okay if it's just him and I. He deserves the best father possible and that's what I try to be. Thanks for the question. It's a good one.
@@maximilianraley2457 sometimes, we are too nice and do not uphold safe boundaries. Overlook obvious red flags in order to be "good" people. But no matter what, you are not going to be the good person in everyone's book. Sometimes you have to be the bad guy in order for self preservation. Therapy and self discovery/awareness work wonders. Taking time, however long, to yourself so that you are strong in this plane of wolves and wolves in sheep's clothing. It is not easy, I will give you that. Everything is easier said than done. But first, embracing solitude and being alone is crucial. If you cannot stand being with yourself for any length of time then why should anyone else? Self reflection and awareness are about as uncommon as common sense. It is a journey. You've got to kind of reel back that overly romantic, wanting to save people, The One, etc. You need to save yourself and be the best parent possible. Once you are whole, you will attract another whole person but even if you do not, you are enough. I do understand you as I am a divorced single mom. I got out of the pattern to show my daughter a better way. Remember, in order to help others we must help ourselves first. In an airplane emergency you put your own mask on first even before your children. You are useless to them and others when you aren't alright. We can help build others up but we cannot and must not do the work that they need to do personally.
I normally never do this, to share my story publicly. But I also was a victim of domestic abuse by my ex-husband. As well physically as mentally as sexually. With this movie it all came back. Especially the rape in the middle of the night. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. I got re-married to a very Nice and caring man. And we now have taken in, in our home 5 foster children, victim of any kind of domestic abuse.
Beautiful, thanks for sharing about a good outcome. Love and life can recover and blossom. Thank you so much for commenting on Purgatory! We really need your help with our next film BREAKDOWN. We’re offering perks like signed scripts, invites to set, even the chance to BE IN THE FILM! Please help us by checking out our short concept video and explanatory video from Director Jack Stockley on this channel. We really need your support to reach our goal, so if you can, please buy a perk (even a £1 raffle ticket helps!) and share the link to it on your socials, as it all really helps :D - igg.me/at/breakdown/ - Thanks, Blue Muse Team
Thank you for sharing.. He's told me all men are the same and if I find anyone else it will have to be a much older man because I'm divorced with children.. Uses this tactic to scare me..
@@n.n9035 God can do anything!!!!! Never let a human speak that over your life, that is broken in the name of Jesus you are not longer under a stronghold of those words you are free in Jesus name.
It shook me too. But I'm also kinda "glad" (it's not the right word but I think you get what I mean) that they included it, also the connection to the uterinary tract infection because she cannot even care for her hygiene after the r*pe.
Much agreed. But the onus is not on the woman. We don't blame children for crossing the road and getting hit by a drunk driver. Let's not blame women for entering a relationship and then being abused
@@URFUTUREUK women definitely pick their partners that makes no sense. If you don't like the men approaching you nothing stopping you approaching men wtf
This was how my ex husband was in our relationship….one minute super lovely and the next physically abusive. Outwardly everyone thought he was charming. It took me four years to build up the courage to leave but not before he had broken my jaw among other injuries. To this day some 35 years later I’m still triggered by and have flashbacks from that time 😔 Thankfully I now have a wonderful husband.
Glad to hear that you have moved to a happier, loving relationship. We hope you're doing okay :) thanks for sharing your story. Please click the like button and sub to the channel for more :) - Thank you so much for commenting on Purgatory! We really need your help with our next film BREAKDOWN. We’re offering perks like signed scripts, invites to set, even the chance to BE IN THE FILM! Please help us, by checking out our short concept video and explanatory video from Director Jack Stockley on this channel. We really need your support to reach our goal, so if you can, please contribute to the campaign and PLEASE share the link to it - igg.me/at/breakdown/
Being two faced/two personality person is the main sign of narcisstic abusers. They can be soooo nice, so sweet and caring and one minute later they can call you stupid bi*ch cause you forgot to close the door or turn off the oven. The switching between those two moods are incredibly perfect and smooth af.
"There you go again , THINKING !" It crushed me. How narcissistic abusers are and they truly believe everything they do and say is right and things must go their way or not at all. The sexual abuse in this video is just a very horrendous extreme to what abuse can be , even without it the relationship is so painful for the victim. I feel deeply for all such women and hope they make it out alive. I pray no man or woman has to go through domestic violence , be it physical or mental. It's not right to have to live like this. It's just not.
And the worst is she obviously has an ailment and he didnt let her go to the doctor. And his sexual abuse while she was under the influence by him giving her to drink then blaming her that she drank too much.
@@ataraw.6142 Her "ailment" was a symptom of being sexually assaulted. I'm not sure if you're familiar with how victims are examined, but unwanted and/or forced penetration of the vagina, anus, or the mouth causes tissue damage. She was bleeding *because* he's been drugging and assaulting her. The reason he doesn't want her to see a doctor is because they would most likely notice sexual abuse has occurred. Then she would know what he's been doing to her. She might not leave him, but part of the sick thrill is her being unwise to it...The control he has over her body and "fooling" her. Truly disgusting. I was sick to my stomach when I realized it.
I figured out from the start that he was going to be the cause of the blood, but I thought it was going to be because he hit her in the kidneys. Raping her in her sleep is so much worse.
I cried when I read "the victim is never to blame". Thank you. I think everyone who has been through this asks themselves almost daily if it was their fault. I know I do.
We know people that still do and they're out of the relationship and in a happy healthy one now. Guilt complexes can weigh on you from bad relationships. It's important to remember that you're a good person and it wasn't your fault. Arguments happen, that's fine, but when one partner goes too far and becomes abusive, we'll, you don't deserve that. We're sending you a shit ton of love and support! Hope you have some good friends around you now. Thanks for watching.
Well of course the victim is to blame! It’s their fault for getting in the relationship in the first place😂🤷♂️ why should we care about couples abuse that’s their business
I used to think that I was a bad person until I went to church and everyone welcomed me and was excited to see me. Not every church is like that but I believe God can help you find one that is if you ask Him for His help . I have no idea why anyone would blame the victim. They do, and it hurts really bad. I know I’m not perfect, but I should never be blamed for something my husband does. It hurts when I try to reach out to my family members for help and all they see is my husband. Or maybe they see something worse. I do not know if he tells them things about me. But it’s their choice whether to believe it. It’s not me.
Men and women can be abusers, we really do need to address the education of relationships. Why don't we teach this as a fundamental subject? Thank you so much for commenting on Purgatory! Please click the like button and sub to the channel, as it makes the algorithm spread the film :)
Weman are abusive too I’m on my fiancé account weighting this I a man and my ex tried to build me up then break me so many times and tried to coach me to kill my self so I sead nothing and left I am in a new relationship now and my fiancé is kind loving compassionate and treats me with respect I am the one that was first and now I’m last so we are making good memories and just taking are time to being last I pray for all GODS children that are being hurt or abused in any manner I pray GOD can bring you peace in your time of need Amen.
I can’t imagine how horrendous it would be to endure the physical aftermath of sexual abuse routinely and have no idea what’s happened. It saddens me to think of just how many people are in this very situation. What’s worse is that a lot of people still dont seem to accept that people can be sexually abused by a partner, which is dangerous bc perpetrators are statistically more likely to *be* the sexual / romantic partner. Awareness on this topic is so important, thank you so much for this film
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@@staylor8847 I was in denial for so long. I'm glad you've seen the light and I pray for healing and love to you. Makes me physically ill thinking of it too, but I will not let myself forget because it keeps me moving forward in my recovery
The creepiest thing is: He obviously rapes her anal, which is the explanation why she's bleeding. Now I see why he doesn't want her to see a doctor. Uah...creepy. But...she must also feel pain there the next morning, I mean, she should realize that she has been raped. Or am I wrong? He also kisses her cheek. She should see a spot there and put 1 & 1 together.
Yep. Thank you for watching and commenting! we are trying to raise awareness and help those in need, which is why we have our online shop - WWW.PURGATORY.ONLINE - Please consider buying something and don't forget to subscribe :)
That’s where your intuition comes in they might be charming but the way they make you feel is telling I’ve always gotten a bad feeling instantly even though they’re super nice you have to differentiate between someone being genuine vs acting genuine!!!
It is always completely mind blowing reading the comments on these to see how many people this happens to. How can this happen so frequently to all of us? Why? I am sending virtual hugs (with consent) to all of you.
We have to remember that not everyone is like this ,and decent loving people still exist. But when we hear about so much domestic violence happening around us it puts a dampner on things, I think the best thing to do is always look out for the warning signs if you ever find yourself in this horrible situation, for starters I will never let someone dictate when I can and can't see my own family ,and stopping you from going to the doctors is massive alarm bells 🚩🚩. Try and get help but don't tell the creep, and have a bag packed ready to leave .
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@@gemstar7286 it’s definitely more complicated than this, no one who was abused CHOSE to let someone to dictate their lives. When I was younger my narcissistic stepmother had many convinced things were okay when she was abusing the whole family. None of us chose it
Lol! I asked my dad if I could borrow his chainsaw to cut up some wood in my backyard and he jokingly said don't forget to use it in the bath tub for easier clean up 😂. It took me by surprise and a minute to understand his joke. Didn't know my dad had a dark side
This type of video should be shared in high school health class at the very least. So many women and men don’t realize they are being abused because they think it’s normal to be treated like this. Learned behavior from family etc. and it’s so hard to leave once your in because of gaslighting. Besides a lot of people won’t believe you if your partner is a covert narcissist they are excellent manipulators.
@@IkesPimpHand Ehhh..... because you don,t want to believe it. I see it often. I truly do. A lot of women are defending the good guys in their lives (be it a father, a brother, a bf, a friend etc), and saying these things... But I guess you'd rather stand with the ones that pretend it never happens. Open your eyes. Edit: after seeing your username, I now know why.....
It hit me so hard when he shut her down from seeing the doctor. My ex did that to me, I ended up in ICU with stage 5 kidney failure. He never visited me. Texted me about how lazy I was, said I was just using the hospital as a vacation. It took me an additional 2 years to leave with 2 kids and 1 dog. His family tried to have me thrown in a mental institution when I tried to amicably divorce him. I am still blamed for leaving. I had to flee. It was grim, for a while. But I’m back up on my feet, in a stable loving environment I have created for my family. Now I’m going through therapy to help me deal with all of the emotional trauma. I really appreciate this raising awareness.
Thanks for sharing about your experience. Glad to hear that you're now in a healthier place. Wishing you all best. Thanks for watching and commenting. Every view helps us raise money, so please share a link to our film/website www.purgatory.online - thank you :)
So sorry to hear that, I'm glad you survived. Can I ask, looking back on your relationship prior to marriage and children, can you see any red flags that you didn't know were red flags at the time?
@@racheloshaksmusic Yes! He would keep me on the phone all night long knowing I had to work the next the day, I fell asleep on the phone one time and the next day he accused me of having sex with someone else, I looked at him crazy and said what? He laughed it off like he was joking and changed the subject really fast. (Once married he brought that up all of the time, but change the story and say he saw me the next morning) He would offer to drive me to work, and then do things that made me late. I was later fired. He would show up at my job randomly, once I was talking to my previous roommate who happened to be a male. The accusations again. He agreed with everything I liked. I love camping, omg so did he, later when married I discovered he had never even been camping. It was like that with pretty much every hobby, music, movies etc All of my friends had something wrong with them or had spoken to him negatively about me behind my back, or tried to seduce him. I’ll think of more and edit it in, I’m sure are there are more I’m not remembering (just woke up). I appreciate your question. It’s so amazingly common, I used to think I am an intelligent woman I don’t understand how I ended up where I was. It has nothing to do with intelligence. Abusive people go through cycles that keep you hoping, keep you self blaming. It is the loving, forgiving and kindness that they are taking advantage of.
@@jessicavardeman6543 Wow basically he earned your trust really quickly by lying and becoming like your best friend, keeping you up at night, while throwing hints of of his true character. That's informative to hear, I am careful of guys that seem to "force" themselves into my life/mind. Especially as soon as I start to feel uncomfortable. These kind of people are almost everywhere. You are an intelligent woman, your intuition was speaking to you, but like you said, they take advantage of our kindness, forgiveness and our reasoning. It's okay though I believe God will give you a good man in Jesus name.
You captured the chameleon qualities of the abuser so well. So loving and caring in one minute and cold, calculating and dangerous in the next. Truly horrific that human beings behave like this. I was once captured by the intoxication of the between moments and just couldn’t process the cognitive dissonance of the dangerous horror moments. There is no end of women ready to fall into the trap. Get your lives and self esteem together before you go on the first date, these types will eat your soul for breakfast.
I almost forgot how many times I cried over my dinner and didn't eat my meals during a relationship for three years until I watched this. We don't even realize how much we disassociate from when we were being abused.
Scary accurate....this is my parents to a T. Dad always controlling what mom wore, who she saw, what we ate. Putting her down and expecting everyone to apologize to him for "making" him upset. On and on. The physical abuse against her, then eventually me and my brother. I'll never understand why people have to be this way. My therapist says it's a miracle that I haven't ended up with an abusive partner. You guys did a fantastic job dealing with a less than pretty topic!
@@BlueMuseProductions Always remember we must repent of our sins (sin is transgression The Law Of Yahuah The Father in Heaven. The Law are The Books: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, & Deuteronomy). We must repent of our sins and Have Belief On Yahusha The Messiah. HE Died and Rose three days later so that we can be forgiven of our sins! Come to HIM🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂
@@presleylucas161 Always remember we must repent of our sins (sin is transgression The Law Of Yahuah The Father in Heaven. The Law are The Books: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, & Deuteronomy). We must repent of our sins and Have Belief On Yahusha The Messiah. HE Died and Rose three days later so that we can be forgiven of our sins! Come to HIM🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂
My father used to be like this, but my mom is a fighter so it didnt work for long. However my father's brother would TERRORIZE his wife and family w fear, violence and threats of murder at times. To this day several of my cousins who ran away from home STILL haven't seen or speak to eachother in years, and my uncle has been dead in the ground for a couple of years now.
Reminds me of my ex-husband: isolating you from your friends and family; controlling what you wear, who you see, gaslighting you about loved ones, making everything unreasonable sound so reasonable. If your friends and family don't like him, LISTEN TO THEM. I only wish my ex had been physically abusive. I would have been able to recognize that. The mental and emotional abuse was something I had no idea even existed. The only part that didn't strike true to me was when he apologized. My ex was always in the right.
Both of my parents were like that . I ended up with controlling men . Thank God I had enough sense to leave as I had a zero tolerance level for physical abuse. My father was violent against us children but not my mother. He just intimidated her so she didn’t protect us. I got into a physical fight with him at 15 and won which is why I felt that I didn’t have to put up with another man’s violent crap . Dancers get muscles and of course he wanted that control back so he forbade me to dance . I ignored him but he beat my sister for another 7 years
Mom was the emotional abuser . She acted like a combination of Carrie’s mother and Nurse Ratched. I swore that I wouldn’t raise my kids so that they ended up hating me the way I hated both of my parents.
@Chris Carson my parents always say to my sister and i “if we tell you that we can sense that there is something wrong about your friend/boyfriend, LISTEN TO US and if your friends or other family members tell you, LISTEN TO THEM because LOVE IS BLIND!”
My Husband Waa much more subtle. He was never physically abusive but he was very controlling. And limited my options . He never told me not to do something but he was certainly very annoyed if I did anything he didn't like. He also found it hard to take blame and wanted a gold star for every little thing. Now on my own I've discovered I'm very different to who I thought I was with him. Damaging relationships come in many different disguises.
This is eeriely what it is like. Only my ex never bothered to apologize. Even now I get nervous telling my wonderful husband I am going to see my parents. Every time, he happily wishes me well, tells me to say hi ,and occasionally asks if he can come. Happy to be safe and truly loved by a real man who is the best teammate.
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@@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 I have children, so our attitudes aren't exact parallels, but once I escape I'm certainly never again going to be dependant on any other person - financially, physically, mentally, or emotionally.
Don't spend time labeling the abuser. Abusers don't stop abusing. Abusers are responsible for the abuse. You cannot control anyone but yourself. Call your domestic violence hotline about how to safely take your children with you and leave your abuser.
Exaclty why we made this film! We hope it allows viewers to spot red flags in perspective partners. Thank you for watching and commenting! we are trying to raise awareness and help those in need, which is why we have our online shop - WWW.PURGATORY.ONLINE - Please consider buying something and don't forget to subscribe :)
You can spot most abusers from a distance, unfortunately the traits that make them stand out are often considered attractive to women. Aloofness, disconnection, charm, mysteriousness, boldness, multiple partners, flashy displays of wealth...all these things are red flag for abuser.
@@nunceccemortiferiscultu7826 My husband was nothing like that though. I felt like I had known him my whole life. He was my best friend. He was very shy. He had never had a partner before me, never had a job before me, hadn’t even had a drivers license before me. He was completely broke. I wanted to rescue him from all that as he had a really painful childhood. I wondered why his friends in high school hadn’t helped him out more. Well I gave him everything and that is what he wanted. I didn’t even notice because he was love bombing me so hard. No one had ever warned me about that. When we got married everything changed and he completely neglected me.
Hearing, “there you go again thinking,” sent shivers down my spine. I heard those words from my abuser so many times. So many of the scenarios were familiar. I did manage to get him out of my house and out of my life. He’s the 2nd abusive man I wasted time on. I’m slowly recovering & rebuilding my life. It’s hard but I’m so much better off on my own. This film was so well done. I hope it’ll help others understand what domestic violence can be like & encourage victims of abuse to step away from their abusers & into the role of survivors.
unless your mother sets an example of being with garbage however my mother still tried to stop my siblings abuser who groomed her from a young age with that much brainwashing and a invalidating cold household these things happen
100%. We can feel it, the instant we meet them, then are tormented watching their daughter take years to see it. The worst situation ever. You don't raise your kids to be someone's rag doll.
This should be shown in schools nationwide. The more younger people learn about this, the better. You never know the signs or these kinds of people until it’s too late, for you or someone you know.
Exactly this. We hope the film teaches better behaviour and to spot potentially unhealthy behaviour in partners. Thanks for watching and commenting. We are raising donations to help those in need, which is why we're selling a £1 'ticket' -if you liked our film and what we're trying to do, please consider buying a £1 ticket as a donation - purgatory.online/products/movie-ticket-donation - Please share our film and website, and don't forget to subscribe :)
The best way to flatten the curve domestic violence is through education about the narcissistic personality disorder. I knew one victim of domestic abuse and described the traits of a typical abuser. I told her to read everything she could about narcissism. It gave her the courage to leave her abuser without looking back.
It certainly is a big factor! well done on helping your friend. Thank you so much for commenting on Purgatory! We really need your help with our next film BREAKDOWN. We’re offering perks like signed scripts, invites to set, even the chance to BE IN THE FILM! Please help us, by checking out our short concept video and explanatory video from Director Jack Stockley on this channel. We really need your support to reach our goal, so if you can, please contribute to the campaign and PLEASE share the link to it - igg.me/at/breakdown/
When I was married to an abusive man I remember everyday waking up wondering is today going to be an okay day or a really bad day. The explosions, manipulation, coercion, pain. Best thing I did was leave and regain my freedom!!
Sounds like you went through a lot that the film represents. We hope that you are now happier and healthier and we're all sending you a lot of love and support. Thanks for watching and commenting. - Please share our film and website www.purgatory.online and don't forget to subscribe :)
A lot of women in my family suffered with abuse for many years. I’m aware of the warning signs and know immediately what to look for in a man thanks to my mother. She had me read up on and watch what I needed to know. She along with my aunt and gran all suffered horrific DV and abuse back in a time when it seemed to be shrugged off as a “domestic” and nobodies buisness. My aunt was finally able to leave after being in intensive care. My mum fled in the middle of the night after my dad put my baby brother in hospital with a broken arm. She happily remarried and me and my sister were always very careful and I’m glad she made me aware. No woman or anyone actually should go through this kind of control. I hate that they do and I at least hope with police being educated, the public and improvements in the law things will get better.
It's great to hear that people can get away from bad situations and live a better life. Thank you so much for sharing and commenting on Purgatory! We really need your help with our next film BREAKDOWN. We’re offering perks like signed scripts, invites to set, even the chance to BE IN THE FILM! Please help us, by checking out our short concept video and explanatory video from Director Jack Stockley on this channel. We really need your support to reach our goal, so if you can, please contribute to the campaign and PLEASE share the link to it - igg.me/at/breakdown/
I cried as I watched this. I am 4 years abuse free. I was strangled and thrown across the room by my ex boyfriend, who had spent 3 years abusing me behind closed doors. The assault was the final act of almost killing me. It took me another year to leave, because I had no $ and there are ZERO resources out there for us. ZERO. And I was in Los Angeles. I was told "just leave" by coworkers. Thank you for making this film. It might save someone.
Thank YOU for watching and sharing your story. We need to show those in need that they can lead better lives and we need to educate those who can't empathise with the victims, that they aren't to blame. We are trying to raise awareness and help those in need, which is why we have our online shop - WWW.PURGATORY.ONLINE - Please consider buying something and don't forget to subscribe :)
How did you get yourself in that position? Just curious...I've always had "middle finger" money as long as I can remember. Even a bit for a long time adds up. I always tell everyone that, especially women. Have your own money, car, etc.
“you weren’t dressed like that when the delivery man came were you” i felt that one line viscerally. i had forgotten those “little” comments and negs in the wake of the explicit abuse and violence that came after in my last relationship (19F, 25M, he was my boss at my college night job and we dated for four years) - it reminded me of the time he came over to my apartment in the middle of the night after being out and i had been at home for whatever reason and while he was walking into the lobby a random man came down the stairs (note that i was living in a TWELVE story apartment building with SIX apartments per floor in a college neighborhood of nyc) when he got upstairs he accused me of having just had sex with this stranger who he said must’ve been leaving my apartment because it was suspicious .???? he shamed me and silent treatmented me and threatened me. and these things happened all the time. but he controlled my world - or so it felt. i feel compassion for my younger self. great dialogue.
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Chills. I had 2 repairmen come to the home I rented for 2 different appliance failures and was asked the same thing. At first, the "jealousy" is a little flattering because it makes you feel like this person cares about you, but eventually it gets exhausting when anyone and EVERYONE is a threat.
How about saying "no, I was wearing a belly dancing outfit I rented for Halloween", yes, my blood was boiling at his constant put downs and twisting every thing good into bad.
I'll have to admit that the accusation that she was dressed up for the delivery man threw me for a loop. I thought it was just him that said things like this, leaving me feeling cheap and somehow bad
You wouldn't believe the insecurity in a man that is going out with a goregous woman and makes comments like "I don't know what you do or look like when I'm not around" in a condescending tone. Treating a loyal woman like a thirsty go. Then having 2 instagram accounts liking and following porn stars langerie photos. double standard
@@lizi.2503 It is a double standard. However I also think theyre not contradictory, but go hand in hand. If a man spends a large chunk of the moments to himself virtually viewing women portrayed as hypersexualized, naughty, unfaithful, and easy, it's not surprising that it begins to color their view of the world and the the real women around them. I had a neighbor who got a black eye and a huge bite mark because her man found a porn that looked "exactly" like her, and he wouldn't accept that it wasn't her. They had only been dating a year or so, so even if it had been a video of her (it wasn't), the video was ollldddd and posted way before they even met. It's crazy. Like they can thoughtlessly spend all day drooling over the idea of a woman that isn't rooted in reality, then despise the real woman living with him for having the capability of becoming the "loose, flirtatious woman" he fantasizes about, which would bring him shame and make him a "cuck". So twisted
Idk what's more sick....the abuse itself of the fact that he nurtures her afterwards like this is something normal. Psychopaths are experts at abuse and that makes them harder to leave, if not impossible
Thank you for watching and commenting! The love given after an outburst is how they trap their victims. We are trying to raise awareness and help those in need, which is why we have our online shop - WWW.PURGATORY.ONLINE - Please consider buying something and don't forget to subscribe :)
Everything is so relatable. Very accurate representation of abuse. The outbursts can also include physical abuse and the same apologies come later. The little details are so accurate like not allowing her to go out of the house, jealousy from the delivery guy, distancing her from her mom, sexual abuse while she’s asleep. Everything is so accurate… and the cycle of love bombing and abuse that goes on and on. In an abusive relationship we don’t see the abuser as a bad person. We feel empathy for them for some reason because after abuse they show how they are suicidal and going insane. We show them love and care, while ignoring our own needs. Getting out of abuse is difficult, especially when you’re pregnant or don’t have enough financial resources. Such videos are so important to educate what an abusive cycle looks like because after facing abuse for a long time, we start doubting our own self and it’s really important to be reminded again and again that we are being abused.
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The abuse shown here is much worse than what I went through but I still relate with a lot. The hardest part is how it makes you feel like you’re losing your mind. I hated questioning my own reality. I could no longer trust myself to remember events as they happened because he would get in my head. The first time it got physical was because I quietly cried in front of his friends after he told me he’s more attracted to other women. He was worried his friends would think he was abusive. For the longest time I believed I deserved it. I remember the pit in my stomach the morning after, hoping he wasn’t mad anymore. Unfortunately he was. His first words when he woke up were “Are you going to apologize?” This is after he choked me and left a big dark bruise on my arm. He then checked his phone, realized his friends didn’t even notice me crying and all his anger went away. It was as if nothing happened. That switch was scary. I wish I could go back in time and hug myself. I was so scared and felt so guilty for reacting normally to a mean comment.
We hope that you're doing okay now and have found happiness. thanks for sharing your story, it helps other to seek help. Thanks for watching Purgatory! Please CLICK THE LIKE BUTTON & SUBSCRIBE to the channel, as it makes the algorithm spread the film and our message of support :)
I saw an old school friend in her front yard as I was driving by and stopped to say hello. The look of sheer terror on her face when she saw me was stunning. She begged me to leave and was looking around to see if anyone saw her talking to me. We reconnected years later and she told me she finally took her baby girl and fled. She is now married to a man who adores her, lives on a small farm and has a son also. She is living proof that you can do more than survive, you can thrive. To all the women like her, you too can find lasting happiness.
I’ve never been in a relationship and this is my biggest fear, because truthfully how can you ever tell what someone is like? I try to educate myself by watching videos like these
It's not always about what someone is like, people do change over time or due to circumstances and that can be for better or worse. That being said, don't be afraid to love, but do learn to understand human characteristics, so you know how to be the best for yourself and get the best from someone. a good relationship grows to become a good team. Thanks for watching and commenting. Every view helps us raise money, so please share a link to our film/website www.purgatory.online - thank you :)
Pay close attention to how you feel in the progress of the relationship. Feelings never lie, and they are never vague. Self-doubt, confusion, walking on shells, shock, isolation, shame, but most of all fear, should have no place in a loving relationship.
By experience I tell u Always Always ask them about how their parents treated each other as a couple if he witnessed dv because that's the way u will know what kind of person he will be with u ..
I survived almost 9 years with someone exactly like this. It took him a few years to get to the point of full out gas lighting (had to build trust before he destroyed me) If anyone is in a relationship with someone like this, get out now. It only gets worse, you're not going to fix them. Make a plan, and get out.
Make a plan, make a move. Please click the like button and sub to the channel for more :) - Thank you so much for commenting on Purgatory! We really need your help with our next film BREAKDOWN. We’re offering perks like signed scripts, invites to set, even the chance to BE IN THE FILM! Please help us, by checking out our short concept video and explanatory video from Director Jack Stockley on this channel. We really need your support to reach our goal, so if you can, please contribute to the campaign and PLEASE share the link to it - igg.me/at/breakdown/
This reminded me so much of my ex. I was literally shaking, heart pounding, sick to my stomach while watching this very accurate representation. It was like watching what I went through, through someone else’s eyes. When you’re with a partner like this you are blinded by love and psychological manipulation. And even when you know what’s going on, the bond is so strong, you can’t bear to separate from them. I’m so glad I finally took the leap of faith and listened to logic rather than my emotions. Because now at 23 I’m finally in the first truly healthy, loving, stable relationship of my life. And I could never go back. There’s something so beautiful and pure about a love like this. I’ve never known anything like it. Please, if you’re in an abusive relationship like the one depicted in this film, take the leap of faith. There is a whole new life awaiting you beyond this hell.
Well said! We need stories like yours to show victims that they can find a better life and to help those who don't/can't understand, to find empathy with victims. thank you for being strong enough to share with us.
This film is extremely well done and hits closer to home than I anticipated. Her saying "Today is going to be a good day" is what I would say sometimes. It is difficult to leave these types of relationships and you cannot see how bad it is till after you are dropped to the side.
Totally here for you and these comments! Hope that you're doing well now. Thanks for watching Purgatory! Please CLICK THE LIKE BUTTON & SUBSCRIBE to the channel, as it makes the algorithm spread the film and our message of support :)
Everything about this film was so accurate, it made my heart race and my palms sweat. This was my childhood. He had utter and complete control over us all. He was pure evil and the only reason we all got free of him was because he died at the age of 46. However, even though he died when I was 21, it has taken my mum, me and my sister another 20 yrs heal to the point of peace and acceptance of our past... but we'll never be who or what we would have been without Everything we went through. Thank you for bringing awareness to this.
I'm so sorry for this.. I have children and I'm trying to get out for their sake as much as mine.. The older the kids are getting the worse he gets the worse the control gets...
From someone who has suffered from DV myself, thank you so much for putting a film out there like this to highlight the true struggles within domestic violence so more people can understand that we can’t “JUST LEAVE”
Our absolute pleasure. Thank YOU for commenting and watching. We hope that you're in a good place now? Thank you so much for commenting on Purgatory! Please click the like button and sub to the channel, as it makes the algorithm spread the film :)
Victim here as well. I was a young vulnerable person and I kept getting sucked back in each time we broke up. I finally realized, no man is better than this man. I moved 1000 miles away to get away. Lots a therapy later and I have a healthy relationship with my husband of 31 years.
So happy for you I was married to a man like this too narcissistic and abusing but once he started mentally abusing my daughter and putting her down not his daughter I was gone and he hit me one time it was enough for me when he was at work I drove 1700 miles back to my home town left Florida and him in the rear view mirror for divorced and didn’t look back
31 years of happiness!! Go you guys!!! We're going to celebrate this for a little while longer 🎉🎉🎉🎉 Thank you for watching and commenting! we are trying to raise awareness and help those in need, which is why we have our online shop - WWW.PURGATORY.ONLINE - Please consider donating, sharing and don't forget to subscribe :)
I hope I can one day not find a man that will not abuse me. My last two relationships were very similar to this, and I honestly don’t know how that happened because I have been going to therapy and trying to not get into relationships with these narcissistic abusers, but the fact that it happened twice in a row is very concerning to me.
I dealt with this for almost 8 years…i was isoleted and depressed i had low self esteem. My 7 year old son passed away and he blamed me, the abuse got worse. I attempted to take my own life not only because the loss of my son, but my ex was leading me down that road. I couldn’t grieve or cry for my son because he would scream at me. I ended up in a hospital for mental health after my 2nd suicide attempt and I was done for good. Im still traumatized today and I mess up in relationships because i think everyone is him.
We love you. Remember that there is love out there for you. We hope you have some form of support network? friends? family? or social support? If you are UK based and need help, please visit WWW.PURGATORY.ONLINE - If you are not in the UK, drop us an email at bluemuseproductions@outlook.com and we can help get you in touch with a support group.
U will be alright.huge hugs and my prayers coming your way.May Allah bless you.i divorced a narcissist 8 months back.i decided to leave as I wanted my children to feel safe and secure, I didn't want him to do to them what he did to me.All I knew was fear and anguish for 12 years.my kids are free now.your beautiful son is in a safe and happy place.You will meet him one day
Praying and fasting and standing in the gap for you. One thing at a time, one day at a time. Music helps me ,fishing helps me,walking helps me,reading helps me .
CONGRATS WINNER !!!! - Hey Jspin! you've been selected at random to win our 50,000 views giveaway! please send us an email to bluemuseproductions@outlook.com and we'll sort your prize! - CONGRATS!
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I was just thinking I appreciate the actors who go into these types of things knowing they’re playing abusers or victims. Important to bring awareness.
Thanks for watching and commenting. We are raising donations to help those in need, which is why we're selling a £1 'ticket' -if you liked our film and what we're trying to do, please consider buying a £1 ticket as a donation - purgatory.online/products/movie-ticket-donation - Please share our film and website, and don't forget to subscribe :)
The first time a person in any relationship doesn't respect you, turn and walk. Then, you've lost nothing but a short amount of your time. The hard part is, the most sinister don't show themselves until the other person has given away all power. 👹
It’s not about “allowing.” People can take other people’s power. Some are not able to stand up for or protect themselves. Saying “just don’t allow it” doesn’t respect the victim but instead blames them. Just a friendly reminder to be careful of the advice you give, even with pure intentions ♥️
Been a victim myself of coercive control and mental abuse, with both threats of and actual violence. I spent a decade in a state of increasing fear, and eventually found the strength to leave. It's so vital that domestic abuse in all its forms is recognised Thank you for this film.
this is what we want. to educate people in behaviours not to accept. Thank you for sharing your truth and advocating our film. Thank you for watching and commenting! we are trying to raise awareness and help those in need, which is why we have our online shop - purgatory.online/collections/all - Please consider donating, sharing and don't forget to subscribe :)
So crazy to think back , 14 years .....I lived through 14 years of this and so much worse ....Healing from this takes time. Be good to yourselves out there.
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Yes ..things get worse than this. Another thing both men and women say to you if you tell them about it is “ You must have deserved it” or “ Did you provoke it? “
Situations can degrade and get worse, you're right and thank you so much for commenting on Purgatory! We really need your help with our next film BREAKDOWN. We’re offering perks like signed scripts, invites to set, even the chance to BE IN THE FILM! Please help us, by checking out our short concept video and explanatory video from Director Jack Stockley on this channel. We really need your support to reach our goal, so if you can, please contribute to the campaign and PLEASE share the link to it - igg.me/at/breakdown/
When my ex picked me up and threw me across the kitchen when our son was 1.5 years, my "best" friend and his mother said I provoked him. That friend is no longer my friend and my ex's mother still enables him.
My Ex Narcissistic husband used to smirk when he'd made me cry; He also used to search through my belongings just in case I bought something that he didn't know about. Thank you for showing this video.
hey gillian, thank you for watching and commenting! It means a lot to have the film shared and the messaged discussed. We hope you're keeping safe and well.
My ex did the same. Sometimes mimicked my crying and laughed, mocking me. It can be hard to watch things depicting DV, but I'm still thankful for videos like this that can raise awareness. People just don't know how good at hiding it these abusers can really be.
My ex boss use to do the same! 😭 She loved making me feel worthless and not good enough. Even smirked at me whilst I cried in front of her and senior managers. She pushed me so much that I almost topped myself. Thankfully, I was able to walk from the job and get my mental health back. Now in a new job, with fantastic managers and healing with self love and good friends ❤ Hope you are ok now 😘
Well done to all of you for somehow managing to deal with that kind of horrific abuse. I've never been treated even close to this by any person in my life and I'm still incredibly depressed and anxious. Well done!
I had 13 years of it. Nothing if it was this mild. After 2 weeks of him being in jail I realized this felt like heaven. I never let him back. He was bad with the kids but our local friend of the court in the USA seemed to think my children were safe with him. My oldest son is 42 now and I said he's still not safe with him. They are nasty forever...they just learn when and how to hide it.
Thanks for sharing your story. It helps others find support and not feel alone. We hope you're keeping safe and healthy now. Thank you so much for watching and commenting on Purgatory! Please click the like button and sub to the channel, as it makes the algorithm spread the film :)
Thanks for watching and commenting! you couldn't be more right. We're also trying to help those in need, which is why we have our online shop - WWW.PURGATORY.ONLINE - Please consider buying something and don't forget to subscribe :)
@@YeshuaKingMessiah hi Yeshua. Exactly! To where that’s why it’s not the answer. Fine if you have somewhere to go but not all abused victims do. But also the opportunity as abusers are also very controlling. I so so hope you are not in an abusive relationship. Take care
It was my reality for more than 2 years. Notice, that manipulation doesn't start like one-two-three. Never. They will make you helpless first. Then the rest comes. I've been there and I classify myself as a classic Stockholm syndrome victim. All I can say now is healing takes hell of a time. It's not even healing, but some kind of awakening.
Thanks for sharing your story. It really helps those who seek advice. Thanks for watching Purgatory! Please CLICK THE LIKE BUTTON & SUBSCRIBE to the channel, as it makes the algorithm spread the film and our message of support :)
I think first comes the awakening, then more slowly, the healing once you allow to forgive yourself (for allowing someone to abuse you and not defend yourself).
I didn't think I was going to be able to make it through the whole film. It takes a lot to make me emotional about my past, but this scenario was far to real and familiar. Thank you for all of your continued efforts into this crime against women, children, AND men. I've seen that with my own eyes as well.
@@shaylyngibson9440 it's something that's not talked about enough in a more realistic dynamic like this. This was not one of those "thrown together" things, by inexperienced people and I appreciate that so much.
This was so fa.iliar for me too 14 years I lived through it. Its been 3 years now and all I cam say is heing takes time. Remeber to be good to yourself and be patient 🙏
I used to dance around like her and be happy like that and my ex would tell me that I was arrogant or fake. I heard that from the time I was four years old and even one of my family members wrote talking about me when I was 10 years old that “she’s so sweet and nice it borders on the con“ …my point is these people are just evil and they can’t stand happy, genuine people and for whatever reason, it triggers the evil and the rage within them. They really will kill you, ruin your life and they do want you dead make no mistake about it.
There are still good people out there. Don't let other people dictate your mood :) be the force for good in the world. Thanks for watching Purgatory! Please CLICK THE LIKE BUTTON & SUBSCRIBE to the channel, as it makes the algorithm spread the film and our message of support :)
I used to stare at my phone when my mum called and know I couldn’t answer because if I answered she would know something was wrong. What makes me think is how the common threads in abuse is even carried out by these people, honestly I think evil can be in people’s blood. I survived 7 years of abuse and I would always say being punched was easier than the mental abuse. Love to everyone out there and if you are in this just know there is a way out even when it seems like there isn’t
Thank you for sharing your story and your words of experience. Victims can make changes and lead happy, healthy lives! Thanks for watching and commenting. We are raising donations to help those in need, which is why we're selling a £1 'ticket' -if you liked our film and what we're trying to do, please consider buying a £1 ticket as a donation - purgatory.online/products/movie-ticket-donation - Please share our film and website, and don't forget to subscribe :)
My sisters thought I cut them from my lives because I was married. When I finally got out I got to be around and call etc, it was so nice after six years of not being able to. Then I found the love of my life. My sisters thought I’d cut them out again. I had to explain that he wouldn’t let me be around or call unless he was with me. It’s wild how your closest circle won’t realize it’s your partner, not you, ignoring them.
The trauma bonding cycle of the abuser traumatizing and then comforting their partner over and over again is so well represented in this short film. One thing that we do miss with the short time frame of the film is how this abuser surely did not behave like this in the beginning of the relationship. Abusers like this are so manipulative that they wait until they know that their partner cares for them deeply and THEN they begin to show their more angry and/or controlling and/or violent behavior, and they often make excuses for the behavior that they know will trigger sympathy from their partner (past trauma, feeling of inadequacy, etc.). Not a slight toward the film at all that this wasn't included, just something I thought was worth mentioning. I thought this film was extremely well done! Thanks to the creators and actors, you all have a lot to be proud of!
Thank YOU for taking the time to watch and reflect on the film and its content. From a filming point of view, you're asking for feature length film to be made! :) but yes, you are correct, the abusers don't start off as abusive. They draw their partner in and it's all good. Until they feel comfortable enough to start pushing emotional buttons. Thanks for watching and commenting. We are raising donations to help those in need, which is why we're selling a £1 'ticket' -if you liked our film and what we're trying to do, please consider buying a £1 ticket as a donation - purgatory.online/products/movie-ticket-donation - Please share our film and website, and don't forget to subscribe :)
Thank you ✨ I went through similar and worse for 30 years. No-one understands unless they have been through it or watch movies like this. The worst abuse these insidious beings commit is invalidation. Your movie made me feel validated. 💖
We're glad to hear that your abuse was in the past and that you got out, but so sorry to hear that you endured for so long. It seems that our film has started to help some people, so thank YOU for sharing. Please help us by sharing a link to our webshop on your socials purgatory.online/collections/all
The beginning is so horribly accurate. How lovely it is to start the day with a charming, caring, and loving man who wakes you with sweet gestures and loving physical touch. Just ignore why it makes you feel uncomfortable and go about your day.
Thanks for taking the time to watch and comment. We hope that you liked the message of PURGATORY. Please consider watching our next film - FLYING - ruclips.net/video/jezw_c9UwQs/видео.html
It started out so Subtle which is exactly how it starts him being so kind and normal at some points, this video is very informative and important to show so many women and men go through this abuse on the daily.
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I pray that everyone involved in an abusive relationship is able to find the STRENGTH, the COURAGE and the SUPPORT they need to be able to LEAVE their abuser. 🙏❤️🙏
This is IT. Thank you for this!!!! Thanks for watching and commenting. We are raising donations to help those in need, which is why we're selling a £1 'ticket' -if you liked our film and what we're trying to do, please consider buying a £1 ticket as a donation - purgatory.online/products/movie-ticket-donation - Please share our film and website, and don't forget to subscribe :)
This was devastating to watch. We all need to be reminded that this is happening every day and should not be kept hidden. Thank you for not being afraid to show the truth.
We're happy to hear that the films emotional impact lands correctly. The crew, Shaylyn and Scott really DID do a good job, huh!? Thank you for watching and commenting! we are trying to raise awareness and help those in need, which is why we have our online shop - WWW.PURGATORY.ONLINE - Please consider buying something and don't forget to subscribe :)
one of the things very common specially in some cultures is the need for extended family to step in-this did absolutely not help in my case and exasperated the situation where side was taken from both ends and luckily for me my family picked up on the ordeal through slips of craziness from her!
It's been just over 2 months since I ended an almost 11 year relationship with a covert narcissist. It took me 10 years and 3 months to put it all together. Once I realized what she is, everything made sense. It definitely started with love bombing then devaluation. Constantly repeated the same toxic cycle and I let it continue while being extremely depressed and confused. I gave her everything(and I mean everything) but it was never enough. I'm in therapy now and going through ptsd while feeling like a fool that I didn't see it all sooner. I learned about narcissism and gas lighting at that 10 year 3 month mark. It was an extremely painful reverse discard but the amount of stress that has left my daughter and I is unreal. We are piecing our lives back together and trying to attain a sense of normalcy or at minimum, the new normal. I truly hope that more people educate others on what narcissistic relationships look like, and what gaslighting is. You might just save a friend, family member, or someone you just crossed paths with, a lot of pain and continued misery.
I'm pausing this at 0:44 seconds and saying that as soon as he said, " did you sleep all the way through" my heart dropped....I don't have to watch this to know exactly how this is going to end bc I lived it( although I will )...gut punch....heart hurts, I've been here.... everyone- know your worth!!. You are ALL special and no one deserves or should be given the power to have control or manipulation over you...oh how I pray we ALL find our inner strength to lift ourselves higher. This is for the evil, negativity and malicious entities too. Nothing good comes from a lower vibration...except that it should lead you to the light...let the darkness allow you to rise from its ashes. You can heal here. There IS hope. TRUST AND BELIEVE IN KNOWING YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT, YOU DESERVE MORE, YOU ARE MORE!
Thanks for sharing your personal story and for giving your reactionary response. We're glad to see that your inspired to help and giving positive comments! Thank you. Thanks for watching and commenting. We are raising donations to help those in need, which is why we're selling a £1 'ticket' -if you liked our film and what we're trying to do, please consider buying a £1 ticket as a donation - purgatory.online/products/movie-ticket-donation - Please share our film and website, and don't forget to subscribe :)
I will never understand how and why someone functions as an abuser. I understand the confusion and heartbreak of the victim because she can’t ever understand someone who tells her they love her could ever be so cruel. This is so accurate and so heartbreaking men and women go through this.
They are born narcisstic and never get counseling to work through it. That's the simple answer. But it always seems more complicated than that. Remember not everyone is a narcisst. Learn and teach the warnings signs so we can leave these people and find better.
Thanks for watching and commenting such strong words. We are raising donations to help those in need, which is why we're selling a £1 'ticket' -if you liked our film and what we're trying to do, please consider buying a £1 ticket as a donation - purgatory.online/products/movie-ticket-donation - Please share our film and website, and don't forget to subscribe :)
It’s like a dog that gets blood in its mouth. They taste power and destroy a humanity barrier most would never want to cross. Once they cross it it’s too late. Lord of the Rings. Hashtag.
Me too. Can we read or see a video why someone becomes and functions as an abuser? I am a victim of a narcissist abuser. My wounds are still fresh and God how could I fall in that lying an manipulative game?!?
I worked at a Shelter for abused partners, not just for women but men too. It really doesn't matter how many times we stepped in to help, and offered undisclosed homes/shelters, counseling, activities, medical care etc., the women/men always went back. After they're away for a while, they seem to forget why they're there, or they desperately want to believe that their partner has changed. Because at the end of the day, Love is what drives the abused person to stay. They keep remembering what it was like in the beginning.... the "courting" stage. I used to hear it all the time.... "he/she was so nice when we first met, and used to do...... or that they....." It's hard for them to understand that the person in the beginning was a lie, and that the abuser is who they really are. Just take one day at a time.... and time really does heal.... but you have to love yourself first!
@Kaitlyn Doute yes you can only inform..ultimately the journey and the decision to make is on them.They either heed the lesson and value themselves or the lesson repeats until they do.❤️
![Caged In [Extended Version] - Award winning Domestic Violence short film (2016)](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/iiF9ays47EI/mqdefault.jpg)
![Caged In [Extended Version] - Award winning Domestic Violence short film (2016)](/img/tr.png)
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This guy has gaslight behavior 💩
This domestic violence short film must be a British boyfriend abusing an Irish girlfriend!
😢❤❤
Wow.... I went through a relationship identical to this for 4 years. He gave me a black eye and a busted lip for spending £1 on milk, amongst other assaults. I was saved by a police officer as I was ready to jump off a bridge to end it all. That was 15 years ago now, and I'm happily married of 10 years to the officer who saved my life.
Wow. I hope you are still doing well 🖤
@@artisticaquarius_ I am thank you. Married to the man who rescued me, and still very much in love. I learnt from it and never look back now. I am a much stronger minded person from it, and strive to help men and women going through the same thing I did. Xx stay safe my friend xx
Violence against women is a shallow and flawed narrative, check out the truth about violence against women here ruclips.net/video/XSMMDfeYz-o/видео.html
Um it sounded real until the end if that...
@@sukamayoutube2323 why didn't it sound real to you?
I am a nurse in ICU. I had a patient who was in a car accident and his wife called and asked me how long he would be in the hospital, "Maybe 2 or 3 days" I told her. I thought she was asking because she wanted him home. She was asking because she was trying to get away and wanted to know go how much time she had.
Wow. There's a story to be told there! Thanks for watching Purgatory! Please CLICK THE LIKE BUTTON & SUBSCRIBE to the channel, as it makes the algorithm spread the film and our message of support :)
I hope she is free and safe now
That is only your thought, not the true.
@@Mr.SpockEuropewhat?
he, mr. spock means hes a womanbeater ;) i live with a dude who is similar to the one in the video... @@chantaviablanche dont even give him your time of day love hes trolin
If you ever get that sick feeling in your stomach and fear someone, even if it's not all the time, get away fast.
Fear is a good measure of a relationship. Thank you so much for commenting on Purgatory! We really need your help with our next film BREAKDOWN. We’re offering perks like signed scripts, invites to set, even the chance to BE IN THE FILM! Please help us, by checking out our short concept video and explanatory video from Director Jack Stockley on this channel. We really need your support to reach our goal, so if you can, please contribute to the campaign and PLEASE share the link to it - igg.me/at/breakdown/
Curree experiencing those emotions
I feared some of my family members until one day they hit me so badly. My advice is to trust your feelings. When you fear someone, he/she will harm you someday.
I be feeling like that alot. I couldnt understand why. Smh. But my tummy be turning alot. He does hit me too.
And remember if you have to literally PLOT an escape plan, you ARE valid as a survivor no matter WHAT they did to you. Humans have a secret sense of danger and when you get it from another person, ITS FOR A FUCKING REASON! Better to sound crazy or dramatic than to be a silent victim trapped to death. You get one life, don’t waste it trying to wait out the evils of another.
There needs to be a domestic violence registry the same as there is a sex offenders list.
Not a bad idea. Thank you so much for watching and commenting on Purgatory! Please click the like button and sub to the channel, as it makes the algorithm spread the film :)
There is in the the UK. Its called a Clairs Law disclosure.
wow! Thats a great idea
Agree!
I think that would save more people and even help the survivors which sadly I have been in extreme ex physical, mentally,even had S. assault me yet he let go because his own grandmother hired her grandson to have a help with lawyer I was left with No because the Female Judge ordered & Told for both my mother and his Grandmother out of the Court room .. it was my self to the Order of Protection Count room trying to keep together. I was fearful so badly that I was unable to stop crying and shaking in and started having an anxiety attack what caused by My ex bf who I was getting triggered by him and his scent and everything I know which is in his fully twisted in mindset of been which then I tried to take a few seconds . Then next thing I know they told it to drop and I was unable to get an order of protection even though I had a police report and also from township of where I lived both saying about his crime against me and my safety. And it messed up now because my now 2nd ex boyfriend is completely normal looking male and even tries to lie on how he allowed us to enjoy Karaoke Bar Fridays nights together then use the gaslighting of me about how I am unable to handle my alcohol. So that is my fault no one else. Which he actually drove after the bar back to the basement of his mom's house where he had his friend waiting for him and I to arrive since he did not act like the normal Yelling towards his same friend who then goes to sexual assault me while he never stopped them . And they all knowledge about me being intoxicated with alcohol and even had blacked to different times with different friends of Sean castle and he has a domestic history check background should places on his real so called dating app like meet m e , Tinder , and any one could be telling their some one else and then all of sudden after 14 years of me a s this male who actually never told his legit name and after looking up his cell phone which he actually told his own brother age and making me feel like it not be deal because I was legally yet I young and that nice . He always has been kind to me and even has saved me when I had been homeless which I just wish some would be honest with the websites to check some base or points. Which can save lives even when we all would not be expecting it .
These type of films should be shown in senior schools, to educate pupils about domestic violence.
We'd advocate for this too. Thank you for watching and commenting! we are trying to raise awareness and help those in need, which is why we have our online shop - purgatory.online/collections/all - Please consider donating, sharing and don't forget to subscribe :)
Indeed!
Yes right
Yeah I lived 35 years knowing little about it then you are in it and don't even realize.
Bad thing about it becoming so educated is that the abusers know better how to hide
My best friend was killed when she tried to leave her abuser. It’s so important to have a plan to leave safely and avoid confrontation. We need more resources for abused women.
This is what people don't understand. They don't or won't believe that someone would hurt their partner, let alone take their life. "Just Leave" isn't always an option. It's hard to hear when people don't get that, so thank you for sharing this story. Thanks for watching and commenting. We are raising donations to help those in need, which is why we're selling a £1 'ticket' -if you liked our film and what we're trying to do, please consider buying a £1 ticket as a donation - purgatory.online/products/movie-ticket-donation - Please share our film and website, and don't forget to subscribe :)
I'm very sorry to hear that your friend passed away from such a Devil of a POS. I'm sorry and I pray God's holding her tightly keeping her safe. I pray all these bastards whether it be a MAN OR WOMAN BC BOTH ARE JUST AS BAD WHEN THEIR NARRSASISTIC AND A FUCKED UP PHYCHOPATH...
I HOPE THEY ALL GO TO HELL AND GET KARMA WHILE HERE ON EARTH SOMEHOW SLOW AND PAINFULL TOO. I left my comment on myself right underneath the directors comment on top and just scratch a small part out of my hell. I'm sorry she wasn't able to make it out. I lost forever my father's side of the family and it kills me to this day bc of what my ex did that I will always be blamed for by all my family except my momma. But she passed away sept.6th 2019 and was my ONLY and each other's Best friends..... IT still hurts and ducks me up to this day that I wish most day's I wasn't here... Sorry again and also for my message. It's almost 8yrs AWAY from THAT SCUMBAG AND I STILL FEEL FUCKED UP.....XOXO😇🙏💞🌹🌹🌹💐🌠🌌
I’m so sorry is there a fund for her? Prayers
I'm sorry for ur loss 🙏 my condolences this is why I'm so scared to leave the narcissist but I'm planning.i feel like I would rather be with God than with the narcissist. narcissist make life a living hell every day.
Do you want revenge on the abuser
Anyone who ever steals your joy, leave as soon as you can. No one ever has the right to ruin your life.
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Damn right
Exactly I refuse to let another human being take over my life and made me feel like another person I had to find myself again after the breakup! ❤️🩹
But when there are already kids, the life is ruined. No way out. With him or without him.
You can't leave if you're underage and the abuser is your parent 😔
This is exactly why I’m so damn picky. I will not end up trapped in a house heavy with anger and fear like I always have been. I will build a house full of love and gentleness.
Sounds like a nice house to live in. Thank you so much for commenting on Purgatory! We really need your help with our next film BREAKDOWN. We’re offering perks like signed scripts, invites to set, even the chance to BE IN THE FILM! Please help us, by checking out our short concept video and explanatory video from Director Jack Stockley on this channel. We really need your support to reach our goal, so if you can, please contribute to the campaign and PLEASE share the link to it - igg.me/at/breakdown/
❤
Peace is wonderful now ❤️🩹
Dear madam, your blog is very interesting.please pay attention!
Dear sirs and madams. I suggest creating a petition of giving castration and life imprisonment to those who tortured and injured and killed violently like this, rapists and those who tried to rape as well, even if teher was no penetration. To establish procedure of giving evidence due to poligraphs, detectors of lie. to establish cameras in many parts of building and streets as possible,c . Because teher are many cases when rapist repeat the crimes and cruelty after serving in prison. They should be isolated and deprived of opportunity to rape again. and change the law allowing to injure rapists and robbers in self defense and during protecting of victims.
and when you are witness of cruelty on the street or in family record secretly the video. When you hear children screaming and crying miserable, please do not ignore and tru to fond out what happened and address local or find in Google or Facebook pages groups for Domestic Violence Victims Helpline, Domestic Violenec Victims Support, Domestic Violence Victims Rehabilitation centers. When you see cruelty on the street somewhere else, try to figure out and follow them secretly where they learn, record it.
At least try to talk to the aggressor if their children are unwanted peacefully. Show victims you care. Write om paper ;show the aggressor link and group, link and names of articles about anger managment.
Thats what i want to do, too. My late gf whom i lost four years ago, was one of a special kind of person. Gentle, warmhearted, loving, an absolute gem among humans .. so the bar lies high for any aspirant. I am currently transforming my Home into a kind of fresh start for my life, still cherishing her memory but letting go. And any other possible Partner will have a hard time going through that doorstep.
The way he blamed her mother for ruining the meal is so realistic 😭 abusers are usually narcissistic and in their eyes they’re never in the wrong. Like they really truly believe it’s not their fault. It’s so scary how delusional they are.
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Thanks for the video. Your comments accurately describes my husband and his mother. If not for his betrayal last fall, I wouldn't have realized how much he had been manipulating me and blaming me for his abusive ways.
They know exactly it's them. For them it's all perverse and gratuitous entertainment at their victims's expence. I just watched a few Dr. Phil movies on narcissists before i watched this.
Si, es muy bueno ver cómo hay maltratadores, sin importar el género. Porque conozco mujeres que también son así, conocí una señora que dejó a su marido y a sus hijos por otro hombre. Un espanto
@@richardparker8881 dr phil isnt a licensed psychologist nor is his show a reputable source for information on mental health issues
The invalidating of her feelings, the constant "patching up" after being agressive, the manipulating, the small comments to break down her selfimage, the isolation from her family, the blaming, this is so accurate.
Thanks for paying so much attention to the film and the details. Thank you for watching and commenting! we are trying to raise awareness and help those in need, which is why we have our online shop - purgatory.online/collections/all - Please consider donating, sharing and don't forget to subscribe :)
My husband doesn't even apologize for his emotional abuse. He blames the violent verbal abusive episodes on his over eating and high blood sugar. He is never sorry for any of his cruelty.
You are a strong woman, don't let anyone take your self worth away
@@lindadebusk8414 thanks
@@mariariley3894 Like me you will probably have never heard the word sorry and he's most likely very good at turning it all back on you. They are seriously ill people.
Pure narcissistic cruelty and abuse. They act so nice in public and everyone thinks that they are soooo sweet and nice. Behind closed doors they are evil monsters. This movie is so real. Thank you so much for producing this movie.
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This story is too familiar.
They "act" nice at home too, they're just extremely condescending and passive aggressive, until you say something back and then the real them comes out and they become verbally, physically and sometimes sexually aggressive.
@@BlueMuseProductions why are you mentioning PewDiePie in hashtags? You're manipulating the algorithm, hoping it'll go in your favor by trying to piggy back off a PewDiePie hashtag. This channels videos have nothing to do with him. You're going against RUclips's policy and you're abusing the functions of hashtags. I could give a shit less about RUclips's policies but you are abusing the function of a hashtag. When someone searches PewDiePie's hashtags they're looking for videos related to him, not yours.
@@mandielou In the description we simply wrote "we want to get more views than a #pewdiepie video." YT put that hashtag on the top - we've since removed the hashtag, but kept the wording. We weren't deliberately trying to manipulate anything.
My mom always told me NEVER PLEASE A MAN WHO DOES NOT RESPECT YOU!
Goes for anyone in life, really. Please hit the like button and sub to the channel for more :) - Thank you so much for commenting on Purgatory! We really need your help with our next film BREAKDOWN. We’re offering perks like signed scripts, invites to set, even the chance to BE IN THE FILM! Please help us, by checking out our short concept video and explanatory video from Director Jack Stockley on this channel. We really need your support to reach our goal, so if you can, please contribute to the campaign and PLEASE share the link to it - igg.me/at/breakdown/
Exactly, I have done this and you end up losing respect for yourself in the process which can set off a vicious cycle of always attracting/being attracted to the wrong type of men
Very simple sentence and easy to understand, Yet so powerful.
If they disrespect you once, they will do it again.
@icherishcrochetandknit309 yes. This has been my experience as well. I'm very sad about it still, but I know I made the right decision 💔😭
When she was excited about wearing the dress and having her hair down . Only to be told it didn’t look good ; only to be told she wasn’t good enough - he makes fun of her for being happy about having her hair down. The small things and the realism brings me to tears.
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All women are princesses and should always be treated with the greatest respect. They're lovely inside and out
The narcissist/coercive controller I was with 3 years ago told me after I moved in that I now always had to wear my hair up (he even got angry when I took my hair clip out to go to sleep) and he was bizarre about how I dressed; said I was now a reflection of him. Although I managed to escape a few months later, I will never actually be free from the threat of his vengeance (he promised to kill me if I ever hurt him or left him).
After our first child I decided to fix my hair and make-up because that was something that I hadn't done in awhile. I was excited for him to see me and when he did he said that I looked like a $2 hooker. In all the 18 years we've been together, he's only given me a handful of genuine compliments and neverending insults and accusations. I seem frozen in my will to leave, it's the unknown of what will happen because he's filled my mind of images of how he will hurt me and anyone else that ever slighted him in his life.
I know he is a pig she’s so pretty and too good for him he’s jealous
I think what shocked me most about this was seeing how quickly the abuser could flip between adoration and praise to insults and outbursts of rage. Like in the beginning I even thought "Where is this going? He seems pretty nice... is she the abuser in this film?". And sadly I think that's why a lot of this goes unnoticed. Abusers usually know how to appear charming and loving in front of other people, so they're shocked when their victims come out with allegations.
The character took you for a ride in this film. He's trying to fool the viewer. Thanks for watching Purgatory! Please CLICK THE LIKE BUTTON & SUBSCRIBE to the channel, as it makes the algorithm spread the film and our message of support :)
Listen to the seemingly caring sentences - they have an edge to them - first thing on waking - 'lazy baby' (why not a cheerful 'hey, sleeping beauty') Ever hear of compliments I wish I had not got? e.g. that is a great pic of you, amazing what a good photographer can do. Passive aggressive and always has an edge that is cutting in an underhanded way.
Mine is exactly like this. it's terrifying. Like he has no conscience
@@commonsenseisrarethesedays Of course not - he is a superior being so he must be right.
It's also why victims have so much trouble leaving. The disparity between the two behaviors causes a crazy-making degree of cognitive dissonance, is perhaps what someone else might say. It undermines your sanity. You don't know what to think any more.
(No, not me. I'm just here to learn, like you.)
17 year Domestic Abuse Survivor here. "Just leave" is harder than it seems. The control tactics are so terrifying. With the phone in my hand, attempting to call 911,I was grabbed from behind and told "You go ahead and call them, you'll bleed out before they get here". On aother occasion, when I was trying to run away, it was made clear to me that any such future attempt would result in him taking my children "...so far away you'll NEVER see them again". Leaving was so hard, and even with restraining orders, he still ran me off the road in my car, threw a brick through my car door so hard that it penetrated the steel (he was aiming at me)... And I even awakened one morning to a strange noise, raised on one elbow to look out the window that was above the bed where I was sleeping, and came face-to-face with him. This was ALL while supposedly under the protection of the law. It's no wonder so many women just never make it out alive. I'm just glad he wasn't more insistent upon my demise, or I wouldn't be here to write this today. I believe his narcissistic love for himself is the only thing that kept him from a murder charge and prison time.
Please don't give up on yourself, for you children. I'm very sorry you have to go through that situation, I hope you'll get situation get better soon :(
Well done for leaving my partner long ago literally just never said sorry once I stupidly also went through 20"years of abuse with 3 different partners. You think I would have learnt the first time. But as you know you re made to feel like you can't make it on your own and that you're stupid and ugly and that you're lucky to have them. Literally said sorry 500times a day and wasn't allowed to cry. Been free from them 8years now. The first 3years were the hardest but it has got easier
It’s absolutely insane that they treat someone they “love” this way.
I'm sorry this happened to you. You're stronger than you realise.
@@xobls IT ISN'T love ,they only care about themselves. When he drugged her I was hoping he'd drink it himself by mistake,then she could have tried to escape . But she was in denial anyway .
They way he gets mad at her for being emotional to his abuse is CRAZY
Yes, because they are psychopaths .
Thats how they are
Fucking narcissists are crazy 😢 they don't care about anyones emotions 😢
But oh so real
My abusive ex believed if I cried I was just doing it to piss him off. If I managed not to cry he would keep at me until I did and then he could be "rightfully" angry because I was crying to upset HIM.
The part that she cries in the bathroom but tries not to cry so loud so he can hear brought back so much memories for me. She even got scared at some point and halted her cry for a second because she heard a noise and thought maybe it’s him behind the door to evaluate the situation for a second, then she continued crying. I was in that situation before.
Sounds like you went through a tough time. We truly hope that you have found some happiness and love in your life. Thanks for watching so acutely; noticing the small things and for commenting. We are raising donations to help those in need, which is why we're selling a £1 'ticket' -if you liked our film and what we're trying to do, please consider buying a £1 ticket as a donation - purgatory.online/products/movie-ticket-donation - Please share our film and website, and don't forget to subscribe :)
So many breakdowns on the bathroom floor. It brought back a lot of memories for me too. Glad I got out before it was too late
@@daniellebrown4757 we hope the film didn't upset you too much. Thank you for sharing about some of your experiences. We hope that you're in a happy and healthy life now
Yes bc they feed off of your suffering
For me was the part " today is going to be a good day". I knew that something was not right" I am single now....part of me is scared of getting into a relationship and losing myself again. I got a cat now. I feel happier on my own. Yes, I get lonely at times, but It is better being lonely alone than being scared to say or do something. I feel safe.
In the beginning of the control cycle of an abusive relationship, if you hear yourself saying "I'm sorry", for nothing you did, it is a red flag. If you say it twice in one day, it is a warning. If you say "I'm sorry", more than three times in a day get your ass out of there, now! It will only get worse.
THIS. Thank you OP - this is what victims (especially women, who have been conditioned since birth to never take up space in the world) need to hear.
A colleague of mine did not realize until she started working that she apologized so much, until she was finally told (off?) by our boss to stop her overt apologizing. The effects of living with only ONE other adult, under ONE roof. Women should NEVER make the mistake of giving up career to raise family: it is NOT noble to risk being killed so your children are left ORPHANS. I use the word 'orphans' coz the abuser DID not, DOES not and WILL NEVER care about the children anyway - children are used as pawns/trump cards by abusers against their partners. Never, EVER make it easier for the abuser to isolate you, socially + emotionally AND financially, especially when things are going WELL say in the beginning of marriage/cohabitation. Abuse occurs over time WITHOUT you realizing it, until you are all broken and a shell of a human being - too weak to get out or expect any better, thus achieving the abuser's desired end result.
@@teachershahira9233 did you forget your prozac bud
I say sorry all the time and its not cuz i am abused
@@teachershahira9233 women will sacrifice children and humanity at the alter of feminism. Your "careers" are worthless.
it does. especially with women as you cant go to the cops as they wont believe you
Love how they demonstrate the abuser is “there” but truly not there, like an empty shell of a person. No real intimacy. How she has become isolated. The silent pauses that have more hatred than screams. The million “I love you”s that carry no weight.
I also like how they showed how an abuser will rob you of any confidence you have. She came out looking gorgeous with her hair down and a dress and she was smiling and confident and then he destroyed it by saying she basically didn't look good. Then she immediately pulls her hair back and lowers her head. An abuser's way of keeping the victim under control. Lacking confidence will make it harder for her to leave.
WOW, SPOT ON!
@@talysewatson6492 very true
Extremely well said!
He was an entirely different man when they first met. He was kind and sweet, thoughtful and sucked her in.
My mother was like this.
What emotional abuse does to a person is just... It just makes you want to die so badly... Especially if it's coming from people who are supposed to love you. The constant hot-cold treatment, the subtle putdowns, the fear when talking about how I spend my money or what I plan to do with my life. The "fights" that left me crying my eyes out wishing to die. Knowing deep down she doesn't give a shit about how I feel or what I need and never did.
What made it so hard to get to the bottom of it was that she suddenly became "nice" after our fights and there it was again - hope. Hope that finally things are going to change. When you are isolated and have few people to cling to, you tend to settle for this and go on. What is important to understand is that there are people who can absolutely not be helped. They cannot change. All you can do is leave. Whenever someone questions my decision to leave my family behind for good, my heart breaks. What people don't understand is that you can't work everything out. Yes, even if it is family! Some people are so rotten from the inside, there is just no hope. I wish more people would understand that. Learning about narcissism was my way out of this hell.
So true it's heartbreaking and somehow you manage too live the best of your ability 🙏. God loves us through it anyways no matter how hard it may seem it's your going to be okay hopefully someday ❣️❣️❣️. Part of me died but then their life afterwards without them too break free from the agony somehow I have managed too embrace pain from trauma as it comes instead of fighting against it
You re not alone. Same here. God bless us and give us power!
I made my own chosen family of friends when I left home. I knew that if I stayed that I would have killed myself.
The crazy thing was that I missed my real family so much. But I realise that it was a dream I made up in my head. When I would visit home I thought that they would be happy to see me.... It was only for the first hour when I gave out presents..... Then they were just as abusive as ever. They would punish me for going away. They grind you down and destroy your self esteem. I wished I could take my sisters and brother with me. But it wasn't possible. They didn't want to leave. It was all they had known.
I am I the situation you were before. I figured out a few weeks ago that my mom is like that. I still cannot believe.
I found out through my friend who said she is respectless.. (is it respectless or unrespectful?) I dont know. And never realized that because it was normal for me. Then I watched her and how she is talking to people.
She lives in her own world.
I got a borderline personality disorder and my whole life i thought it comes from my dads behavior, because he wasnt there. .
But the doctor said its not from my dad. He was only not there because of my mom (!!!)
My mom is like a devil.
And thats the reason she never knew something about my illness ever since. When diagnosed I was 13 and still she always asks why i am so sensitive.. tz. She knows nothing about borderline. Its disgusting.
I was shocked then and tried to find out more about respect.
And my friend was right.
My dad helps me now because he said, he could do nothing to save us- we believed in her so hard, we didnt listen to him any time because of her manipulating us.
So i found out that she didnt "gave" us our dad, .... for 30 years I thought he left. She said to me "he didnt want you" as i was a kid. Its so terrible..
Im still in shock. Dont know what to do.
My life is a lie. I dont know what is right or wrong. I feel like the unworthy individual on earth.
I hate myself for not believing my emotions and go with my dad when i was little.
I wanna quit with my mom. Two weeks eatlier we were best friends.
She doesnt know whats happening with me now- this is, with my disability, a living hell for me.
One day i have to explain. Or not?
When you broke with her, did u explain why?
I guess its all my fault and she will say :ok then. When you want to go- go. Without a tear
That will hurt the most.
I absolutely understand you...saw that with my mother in law. You have to leave, there is no other way.
I was actually so scared whenever the abusive husband had an outburst. The actor did a good job of portraying that. This is so scary to see on-screen, but to think this happens even in real life is even scarier to think about.
Trust me, it is WAY scarier and very much confusing when it happens in real life, especially when you are a peaceful and non-confrontational person. This is like an avalance which rolls over you.
it scared the shit out of me. he did really well
It’s a shame that help is usually on a waiting list or appointment based schedule. Some people don’t have families or even close enough friends to help. Reaching out to a neighbor or even someone you might see at a grocery store, anything is worth the effort to save yourself. Telling your abuser you are leaving is very dangerous. Plan ahead with people you can trust and take someone with you, preferably a strong man to get your personal things. DON’T do it alone. No matter how well you think you know someone a person is never prepared for what might set off an abuser and what life threatening act can happen. I know a lot of women know this fact, but there are a lot of women who have died trying to leave. Don’t make the mistake in thinking it could never happen to you. A lot of women who thought the very same thing are no longer with us.🙏❤️🌷
My step father was like this. And so was my ex...
It happens every day
As a father of daughters, I wish this sort of film was shown in every school to all genders. I've been in a similar situation with a woman who was very controlling. I had to warm my own mom to not call so I wouldn't get "into trouble". If you wake up each day hoping it's "one of the good days" with your partner, you need to get out. And don't be afraid to ask your friends/family for help.
That’s a really good point. My dad is a narcissist and my first thought waking up every morning was exactly as you said, just praying that it was one of the good days. One of the days where he’d work longer than usual.
Me too.. No one warned me when I got married at 19 😢
I agree with you 💯
I'm glad you got out and by doing that are raising your daughter's to not accept that behaviour 🤍🙏
What if somebody is in a relationship with narcisstic guy and that person is alone? Don't have family or friends and the only close person is her abusive partner? People who are lonely find harder to break that chain.
I’m amazed by the dead on accurate depiction of what it’s really like to live through this kind of abuse. It’s like the writers read my diary. I’m 16 months safe, after 14 years of rape in my sleep. It’ll take the rest of my days to heal, and I’m grateful I had the courage to seek help.
Sending you love and support from the writer and the entire cast and crew. We're glad to hear that you're safe! thank you for being brave enough to comment.
I told my fiance that happened to me with an ex and he said it was impossible
Wait why does your fiancé not believe you? Seems like a red flag. Sorry to say.
@@dougspidermanhappy Definitely a HUGE red flag. That shouldn't be a second thought to question something so serious
I'm sorry that happened to you....I'm glad you got out and are now safe. This video and your comment was educational for me. I didnt know that some domestic abusers do this. Their level of depravity seems to know no end. Im Still Really shocked
Damn, I notice some controlling behaviors in myself. I recognize the "but it's up to you" when I say it after offering advice, sometimes unsolicited advice. I need to check myself more to make sure I let go of the urge to control.
Its always a good idea to work on yourself, even if you're not a bad person! Thank you so much for commenting on Purgatory! We really need your help with our next film BREAKDOWN. We’re offering perks like signed scripts, invites to set, even the chance to BE IN THE FILM! Please help us, by checking out our short concept video and explanatory video from Director Jack Stockley on this channel. We really need your support to reach our goal, so if you can, please contribute to the campaign and PLEASE share the link to it - igg.me/at/breakdown/
What he was doing was even more insidious than giving her unsolicited advice. He was hoping she would take the sleeping pill on top of the alcohol he had given her earlier, so that he could rape her that night. The underlying cause of the blood in her urine, apparently. So he must have been raping her quite violently.
But I'm glad you're noticing and committed to stopping even mildly controlling behaviors, and not brushing it off because "at least I'm not as bad as that guy."
When she was washing the dishes, they showed him in the back quietly adding something in the glass before pouring the alcohol. So he drugged her with the alcohol. Probably the same sleeping pills she be taking or he had something even stronger.
The fact that you’re able to recognize your own behaviors & correct them speaks volumes to your character & growth!! 💪🏽
This is spot on. I was married to this guy for fifteen years. In the beginning he was wonderful. He was the perfect guy and moved very fast, marriage within six months. I was only nineteen and he was thirty. It was intoxicating at first but then it slowly turned to hell. Like being slowly boiled alive and you don't even realize it. Luckily we did not have any children. Maybe it was my body's way of protecting me. I ended up having a moment of clarity after yet another of his almost daily episodes. I made a break for it while I had the courage. I decided that I would rather be dead than be with that evil monster for one more day. I took a small bag of clothing and jumped into my car and never looked back. Left all the trappings behind, house, furniture, stuff, it didn't matter. He harassed me for a couple years , until he found a new woman to torture. I hope she was able to escape as well. That was twenty three years ago and my life has been remarkably better. Don't give up, get out, deal with the fall out, fight for your life, you can rebuild, I promise, you're worth it.
A thirty year old man lurking around a 19-20 year old is already a red flag. Happy that you got out of that toxic relationship.
Good for you you escaped
@@LoveYourself-my9nz Yup, abusers prefers em young and lacking life experience
"I was 19 and he was 30" already know its bad after hearing that
💛💜💟
These videos are so important. Most people have no idea that they are being mistreated and abused. We need videos on parental emotional abuse too
100% THIS - thanks Alexis
Yes!
I only realized about two years ago that the reason for my extreme anxiety, lack of self love or compassion, and unavoidable thirst for toxic relationships was a result of being abused as a child. People will have you believe that abuse can only be physical. But this simply isn’t true. 😔
YES! Did you mean the abuse parents receive from their children or the abuse inflicted by parents?
By the time we realize, we are so deep in (if we ever do realize).
After 5 years with an abusive partner just like this, I broke up with him and he stalked me and attempted to kill me with a kitchen knife in my bedroom. It’s truly not always easy to “just leave”
@Olivia K it’s terrifying and I still think about him coming after me again when he gets out of jail as well. I’m so sorry you went through such a similar situation though!
so many people don't believe that this is real or can happen, we like to think it's because most people are well-natured, but that doesn't help victims. We hope you are safe and have a strong and large support network of friends and family. Thank you for watching and commenting! we are trying to raise awareness and help those in need, which is why we have our online shop - purgatory.online/collections/all - Please consider donating, sharing and don't forget to subscribe :)
@Olivia K so many people in these comments need to be made aware of this! it's not a film, it's real life. sending love and support. Thank you for watching and commenting! we are trying to raise awareness and help those in need, which is why we have our online shop - purgatory.online/collections/all - Please consider donating, sharing and don't forget to subscribe :)
I got tired of it. I just called the cops whenever he was stupid enough to show up. I was thinking, sh*t, go ahead. They'll know EXACTLY who did it. Lol
@Sandy Shines thank you so much
The scariest thing is how common this is... I have a feeling that it has become too "normal" for so many people.
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men😢
@ritadonnelly8820 And women. I could become a monster just as easily. I never want to, but I have the ability.
It has always been too "normal".
I'm a male, and I fell into a narcissists trap. She controlled me, abused me, and manipulated me for 6 years. People always tell me I let her and that I should have been able to defend myself cause I'm a fighter. But if you haven't been in this relationship dynamic, you'll never understand. I just broke off a relationship with a girl after 2 months because I was noticing the same red flags as my ex. Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice...
Well then who are you kissing it up with right there ? Just saying ....🤔
@@ChristiansPrayingTogether My new girlfriend. People move on and create new relationships you know.
Not to pry but if you just broke it off with a potential abuser, your last abusive relationship lasted 6 years, and you now have a new gf in your profile perhaps you are not taking the time to figure out why you attract that type of person. Do you fear being single/alone? I noticed that about myself which is why I took the time to be single and learn myself.
@@squarebear619 I'm not trying to be argumentative here, but genuinely inquisitive. How does one go about figuring that out? Because I'm not like that. I'm nice and caring and treat everyone with respect. I'm not particularly violent or rude or harsh. So why do I attract those types. I just changed my pfp because her and I are no longer together either. Kinda odd. It's a long story but the girl that was in my pfp and I have known each other for 15 years and always had a thing for each other. I finally gave it a shot and it was going great. Then one day quickly fell apart. So strange how that happens. And all she said was, I am going through more than anyone in the world right now and that she didn't want my help anymore. So idk what I'm doing wrong but apparently I am. Because I keep failing in relationships. That's alright. One day I'll find the one. And if not, then I'll just live for my son. Not that I already don't. But im okay if it's just him and I. He deserves the best father possible and that's what I try to be. Thanks for the question. It's a good one.
@@maximilianraley2457 sometimes, we are too nice and do not uphold safe boundaries. Overlook obvious red flags in order to be "good" people. But no matter what, you are not going to be the good person in everyone's book. Sometimes you have to be the bad guy in order for self preservation. Therapy and self discovery/awareness work wonders. Taking time, however long, to yourself so that you are strong in this plane of wolves and wolves in sheep's clothing. It is not easy, I will give you that. Everything is easier said than done. But first, embracing solitude and being alone is crucial. If you cannot stand being with yourself for any length of time then why should anyone else? Self reflection and awareness are about as uncommon as common sense. It is a journey. You've got to kind of reel back that overly romantic, wanting to save people, The One, etc. You need to save yourself and be the best parent possible. Once you are whole, you will attract another whole person but even if you do not, you are enough. I do understand you as I am a divorced single mom. I got out of the pattern to show my daughter a better way. Remember, in order to help others we must help ourselves first. In an airplane emergency you put your own mask on first even before your children. You are useless to them and others when you aren't alright. We can help build others up but we cannot and must not do the work that they need to do personally.
I normally never do this, to share my story publicly. But I also was a victim of domestic abuse by my ex-husband. As well physically as mentally as sexually. With this movie it all came back. Especially the rape in the middle of the night. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. I got re-married to a very Nice and caring man. And we now have taken in, in our home 5 foster children, victim of any kind of domestic abuse.
Beautiful, thanks for sharing about a good outcome. Love and life can recover and blossom. Thank you so much for commenting on Purgatory! We really need your help with our next film BREAKDOWN. We’re offering perks like signed scripts, invites to set, even the chance to BE IN THE FILM! Please help us by checking out our short concept video and explanatory video from Director Jack Stockley on this channel. We really need your support to reach our goal, so if you can, please buy a perk (even a £1 raffle ticket helps!) and share the link to it on your socials, as it all really helps :D - igg.me/at/breakdown/ - Thanks, Blue Muse Team
Thank you for sharing.. He's told me all men are the same and if I find anyone else it will have to be a much older man because I'm divorced with children.. Uses this tactic to scare me..
@@n.n9035 God can do anything!!!!! Never let a human speak that over your life, that is broken in the name of Jesus you are not longer under a stronghold of those words you are free in Jesus name.
@@n.n9035you will find better. Write down a list of what you want and read it daily. Manifest it! Also keep your faith & trust in GOD!
I’m so proud of you for sharing your story. I am so happy to read that you’ve gone on to have a wonderful life. 🩷🩷🩷
marital rape is so real. I’m shook to my core seeing the intensity of this abuse. May all women pick the right partners for themselves.
It shook me too. But I'm also kinda "glad" (it's not the right word but I think you get what I mean) that they included it, also the connection to the uterinary tract infection because she cannot even care for her hygiene after the r*pe.
Much agreed. But the onus is not on the woman. We don't blame children for crossing the road and getting hit by a drunk driver. Let's not blame women for entering a relationship and then being abused
I TOTALLY GET THIS. ONE TIME, I STOLE MY OWN CAR. IT WAZ AWFUL
You don't get to pick, they chose you.
@@URFUTUREUK women definitely pick their partners that makes no sense. If you don't like the men approaching you nothing stopping you approaching men wtf
This was how my ex husband was in our relationship….one minute super lovely and the next physically abusive. Outwardly everyone thought he was charming. It took me four years to build up the courage to leave but not before he had broken my jaw among other injuries. To this day some 35 years later I’m still triggered by and have flashbacks from that time 😔 Thankfully I now have a wonderful husband.
Glad to hear that you have moved to a happier, loving relationship. We hope you're doing okay :) thanks for sharing your story. Please click the like button and sub to the channel for more :) - Thank you so much for commenting on Purgatory! We really need your help with our next film BREAKDOWN. We’re offering perks like signed scripts, invites to set, even the chance to BE IN THE FILM! Please help us, by checking out our short concept video and explanatory video from Director Jack Stockley on this channel. We really need your support to reach our goal, so if you can, please contribute to the campaign and PLEASE share the link to it - igg.me/at/breakdown/
Being two faced/two personality person is the main sign of narcisstic abusers. They can be soooo nice, so sweet and caring and one minute later they can call you stupid bi*ch cause you forgot to close the door or turn off the oven. The switching between those two moods are incredibly perfect and smooth af.
"There you go again , THINKING !" It crushed me. How narcissistic abusers are and they truly believe everything they do and say is right and things must go their way or not at all. The sexual abuse in this video is just a very horrendous extreme to what abuse can be , even without it the relationship is so painful for the victim. I feel deeply for all such women and hope they make it out alive. I pray no man or woman has to go through domestic violence , be it physical or mental. It's not right to have to live like this. It's just not.
Such a horror to realize he is the cause of the blood.
More than narcissistic, psychopathic.
And the worst is she obviously has an ailment and he didnt let her go to the doctor. And his sexual abuse while she was under the influence by him giving her to drink then blaming her that she drank too much.
@@ataraw.6142 Her "ailment" was a symptom of being sexually assaulted. I'm not sure if you're familiar with how victims are examined, but unwanted and/or forced penetration of the vagina, anus, or the mouth causes tissue damage. She was bleeding *because* he's been drugging and assaulting her. The reason he doesn't want her to see a doctor is because they would most likely notice sexual abuse has occurred. Then she would know what he's been doing to her. She might not leave him, but part of the sick thrill is her being unwise to it...The control he has over her body and "fooling" her. Truly disgusting. I was sick to my stomach when I realized it.
I figured out from the start that he was going to be the cause of the blood, but I thought it was going to be because he hit her in the kidneys. Raping her in her sleep is so much worse.
This is exactly what it can feel like. You learn to walk on eggshells because every single word could make them explode and burn you.
Yess this but with my stepdad.
I cried when I read "the victim is never to blame". Thank you. I think everyone who has been through this asks themselves almost daily if it was their fault. I know I do.
We know people that still do and they're out of the relationship and in a happy healthy one now. Guilt complexes can weigh on you from bad relationships. It's important to remember that you're a good person and it wasn't your fault. Arguments happen, that's fine, but when one partner goes too far and becomes abusive, we'll, you don't deserve that. We're sending you a shit ton of love and support! Hope you have some good friends around you now. Thanks for watching.
Well of course the victim is to blame! It’s their fault for getting in the relationship in the first place😂🤷♂️ why should we care about couples abuse that’s their business
Nothing you do deserves violence as a response❤
Sending love I cried too when I found out it was not my fault I stayed for 25 years
I used to think that I was a bad person until I went to church and everyone welcomed me and was excited to see me. Not every church is like that but I believe God can help you find one that is if you ask Him for His help . I have no idea why anyone would blame the victim. They do, and it hurts really bad. I know I’m not perfect, but I should never be blamed for something my husband does. It hurts when I try to reach out to my family members for help and all they see is my husband. Or maybe they see something worse. I do not know if he tells them things about me. But it’s their choice whether to believe it. It’s not me.
The fact that there are so many men like this who cause so much damage and pain is something that really needs to be addressed.
Men and women can be abusers, we really do need to address the education of relationships. Why don't we teach this as a fundamental subject? Thank you so much for commenting on Purgatory! Please click the like button and sub to the channel, as it makes the algorithm spread the film :)
Whores, too
Weman are abusive too I’m on my fiancé account weighting this I a man and my ex tried to build me up then break me so many times and tried to coach me to kill my self so I sead nothing and left I am in a new relationship now and my fiancé is kind loving compassionate and treats me with respect I am the one that was first and now I’m last so we are making good memories and just taking are time to being last I pray for all GODS children that are being hurt or abused in any manner I pray GOD can bring you peace in your time of need Amen.
right
I can’t imagine how horrendous it would be to endure the physical aftermath of sexual abuse routinely and have no idea what’s happened. It saddens me to think of just how many people are in this very situation. What’s worse is that a lot of people still dont seem to accept that people can be sexually abused by a partner, which is dangerous bc perpetrators are statistically more likely to *be* the sexual / romantic partner. Awareness on this topic is so important, thank you so much for this film
Thank YOU for watching and commenting! we are trying to raise awareness and help those in need, which is why we have our online shop - WWW.PURGATORY.ONLINE - Please consider buying something and don't forget to subscribe :)
@@staylor8847 We hope you're doing better now. Sending love and support your way!
@@staylor8847 I was in denial for so long. I'm glad you've seen the light and I pray for healing and love to you. Makes me physically ill thinking of it too, but I will not let myself forget because it keeps me moving forward in my recovery
I thought they were birth control pills at first! Mine are the only pills I’ve ever seen come like that.
The creepiest thing is: He obviously rapes her anal, which is the explanation why she's bleeding. Now I see why he doesn't want her to see a doctor. Uah...creepy. But...she must also feel pain there the next morning, I mean, she should realize that she has been raped. Or am I wrong? He also kisses her cheek. She should see a spot there and put 1 & 1 together.
The thing is you can't even tell that people like him are like this. They act so different in front of other people.
Yep. Thank you for watching and commenting! we are trying to raise awareness and help those in need, which is why we have our online shop - WWW.PURGATORY.ONLINE - Please consider buying something and don't forget to subscribe :)
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
That’s where your intuition comes in they might be charming but the way they make you feel is telling I’ve always gotten a bad feeling instantly even though they’re super nice you have to differentiate between someone being genuine vs acting genuine!!!
Hiding who they really are so they won't be discovered. What cowards they are
So true...the key word is act...
It is always completely mind blowing reading the comments on these to see how many people this happens to. How can this happen so frequently to all of us? Why? I am sending virtual hugs (with consent) to all of you.
Girl bye 😂. "With consent"
@@qo4914 I couldn't be out here forcing imaginary hugs on people!! I hate real hugs so I thought I'd add it in 😄
We have to remember that not everyone is like this ,and decent loving people still exist. But when we hear about so much domestic violence happening around us it puts a dampner on things, I think the best thing to do is always look out for the warning signs if you ever find yourself in this horrible situation, for starters I will never let someone dictate when I can and can't see my own family ,and stopping you from going to the doctors is massive alarm bells 🚩🚩. Try and get help but don't tell the creep, and have a bag packed ready to leave .
Thank you for watching and commenting! we are trying to raise awareness and help those in need, which is why we have our online shop - WWW.PURGATORY.ONLINE - Please consider buying something and don't forget to subscribe :)
@@gemstar7286 it’s definitely more complicated than this, no one who was abused CHOSE to let someone to dictate their lives. When I was younger my narcissistic stepmother had many convinced things were okay when she was abusing the whole family. None of us chose it
"My grandma used to say...give him a big hug that way we know how big to dig the hole in the backyard. Granny had a dark side 😂
I love your grandma! If she's not here anymore, I'm sorry. But you'll carry her words of wisdom till the end. 🤣👏🏻
Thank God for giving u such a thoughtful grandma !!! 😂😂😂
Bless ur dear grandma for the advice n u for sharing !!!
Stay blessed.
Lol! I asked my dad if I could borrow his chainsaw to cut up some wood in my backyard and he jokingly said don't forget to use it in the bath tub for easier clean up 😂. It took me by surprise and a minute to understand his joke. Didn't know my dad had a dark side
Hahahahha
I liked that.
This type of video should be shared in high school health class at the very least. So many women and men don’t realize they are being abused because they think it’s normal to be treated like this. Learned behavior from family etc. and it’s so hard to leave once your in because of gaslighting. Besides a lot of people won’t believe you if your partner is a covert narcissist they are excellent manipulators.
Thanks for watching and commenting. Every view helps us raise money, so please share a link to our film/website www.purgatory.online - thank you :)
@@IkesPimpHand
Ehhh..... because you don,t want to believe it.
I see it often. I truly do. A lot of women are defending the good guys in their lives (be it a father, a brother, a bf, a friend etc), and saying these things...
But I guess you'd rather stand with the ones that pretend it never happens.
Open your eyes.
Edit: after seeing your username, I now know why.....
@@IkesPimpHand I’m so sorry :( no one should have to go through that regardless of gender/sex
AGREED! Even I the first time I watched this thought there was nothing wrong with the video!
They tell you it's normal to have problems in relationships
It hit me so hard when he shut her down from seeing the doctor. My ex did that to me, I ended up in ICU with stage 5 kidney failure. He never visited me. Texted me about how lazy I was, said I was just using the hospital as a vacation. It took me an additional 2 years to leave with 2 kids and 1 dog. His family tried to have me thrown in a mental institution when I tried to amicably divorce him. I am still blamed for leaving. I had to flee. It was grim, for a while. But I’m back up on my feet, in a stable loving environment I have created for my family. Now I’m going through therapy to help me deal with all of the emotional trauma. I really appreciate this raising awareness.
Thanks for sharing about your experience. Glad to hear that you're now in a healthier place. Wishing you all best. Thanks for watching and commenting. Every view helps us raise money, so please share a link to our film/website www.purgatory.online - thank you :)
my ex wife did this to me too
50% of all victims ar emen
children are vicimtised by women and no one cares
So sorry to hear that, I'm glad you survived. Can I ask, looking back on your relationship prior to marriage and children, can you see any red flags that you didn't know were red flags at the time?
@@racheloshaksmusic Yes! He would keep me on the phone all night long knowing I had to work the next the day, I fell asleep on the phone one time and the next day he accused me of having sex with someone else, I looked at him crazy and said what? He laughed it off like he was joking and changed the subject really fast. (Once married he brought that up all of the time, but change the story and say he saw me the next morning)
He would offer to drive me to work, and then do things that made me late. I was later fired.
He would show up at my job randomly, once I was talking to my previous roommate who happened to be a male. The accusations again.
He agreed with everything I liked. I love camping, omg so did he, later when married I discovered he had never even been camping. It was like that with pretty much every hobby, music, movies etc
All of my friends had something wrong with them or had spoken to him negatively about me behind my back, or tried to seduce him.
I’ll think of more and edit it in, I’m sure are there are more I’m not remembering (just woke up). I appreciate your question. It’s so amazingly common, I used to think I am an intelligent woman I don’t understand how I ended up where I was. It has nothing to do with intelligence. Abusive people go through cycles that keep you hoping, keep you self blaming. It is the loving, forgiving and kindness that they are taking advantage of.
@@jessicavardeman6543 Wow basically he earned your trust really quickly by lying and becoming like your best friend, keeping you up at night, while throwing hints of of his true character. That's informative to hear, I am careful of guys that seem to "force" themselves into my life/mind. Especially as soon as I start to feel uncomfortable. These kind of people are almost everywhere. You are an intelligent woman, your intuition was speaking to you, but like you said, they take advantage of our kindness, forgiveness and our reasoning. It's okay though I believe God will give you a good man in Jesus name.
You captured the chameleon qualities of the abuser so well. So loving and caring in one minute and cold, calculating and dangerous in the next. Truly horrific that human beings behave like this. I was once captured by the intoxication of the between moments and just couldn’t process the cognitive dissonance of the dangerous horror moments. There is no end of women ready to fall into the trap. Get your lives and self esteem together before you go on the first date, these types will eat your soul for breakfast.
So true! I have never mastered up the bravery to marry, after have spent 18 years in my parents house, they are both psychopaths.
Well said! And thanks for the compliments to the film! Love can make you vulnerable, so make sure to protect yourselves.
That was well-said. “chameleon qualities” is such a great term to address the situation taking place. Love how you worded it. 🙌
Well said
💯💯💯💯
I almost forgot how many times I cried over my dinner and didn't eat my meals during a relationship for three years until I watched this.
We don't even realize how much we disassociate from when we were being abused.
Scary accurate....this is my parents to a T. Dad always controlling what mom wore, who she saw, what we ate. Putting her down and expecting everyone to apologize to him for "making" him upset. On and on. The physical abuse against her, then eventually me and my brother. I'll never understand why people have to be this way. My therapist says it's a miracle that I haven't ended up with an abusive partner. You guys did a fantastic job dealing with a less than pretty topic!
Thank you so much for watching, commenting and being so open to share your story. Sending you love and support!
Who ever u are I have the same exact situation I never understand why people have to be that way either my whole life I’ve wondered it.
@@BlueMuseProductions Always remember we must repent of our sins (sin is transgression The Law Of Yahuah The Father in Heaven. The Law are The Books: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, & Deuteronomy). We must repent of our sins and Have Belief On Yahusha The Messiah. HE Died and Rose three days later so that we can be forgiven of our sins!
Come to HIM🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂
@@presleylucas161 Always remember we must repent of our sins (sin is transgression The Law Of Yahuah The Father in Heaven. The Law are The Books: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, & Deuteronomy). We must repent of our sins and Have Belief On Yahusha The Messiah. HE Died and Rose three days later so that we can be forgiven of our sins!
Come to HIM🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂
My father used to be like this, but my mom is a fighter so it didnt work for long. However my father's brother would TERRORIZE his wife and family w fear, violence and threats of murder at times. To this day several of my cousins who ran away from home STILL haven't seen or speak to eachother in years, and my uncle has been dead in the ground for a couple of years now.
Very, very, very proud of this project and our team.
Proud to have worked with you!
Xxx
Its so good. So well acted. Well done
Well done .. thank you
It's really good... Hard to watch because it is so realistic. 😔
Reminds me of my ex-husband: isolating you from your friends and family; controlling what you wear, who you see, gaslighting you about loved ones, making everything unreasonable sound so reasonable. If your friends and family don't like him, LISTEN TO THEM. I only wish my ex had been physically abusive. I would have been able to recognize that. The mental and emotional abuse was something I had no idea even existed. The only part that didn't strike true to me was when he apologized. My ex was always in the right.
Ditto. My idea of what abuse was was limited to physical abuse. 15 years free.
Both of my parents were like that . I ended up with controlling men . Thank God I had enough sense to leave as I had a zero tolerance level for physical abuse. My father was violent against us children but not my mother. He just intimidated her so she didn’t protect us. I got into a physical fight with him at 15 and won which is why I felt that I didn’t have to put up with another man’s violent crap . Dancers get muscles and of course he wanted that control back so he forbade me to dance . I ignored him but he beat my sister for another 7 years
Mom was the emotional abuser . She acted like a combination of Carrie’s mother and Nurse Ratched. I swore that I wouldn’t raise my kids so that they ended up hating me the way I hated both of my parents.
@Chris Carson my parents always say to my sister and i “if we tell you that we can sense that there is something wrong about your friend/boyfriend, LISTEN TO US and if your friends or other family members tell you, LISTEN TO THEM because LOVE IS BLIND!”
Same ......
My Husband Waa much more subtle. He was never physically abusive but he was very controlling. And limited my options . He never told me not to do something but he was certainly very annoyed if I did anything he didn't like. He also found it hard to take blame and wanted a gold star for every little thing. Now on my own I've discovered I'm very different to who I thought I was with him. Damaging relationships come in many different disguises.
"Limiting my options".
When I read that I understand exactly what you mean. Covert Narcissism. Underhanded passive aggressive.
This is eeriely what it is like. Only my ex never bothered to apologize.
Even now I get nervous telling my wonderful husband I am going to see my parents. Every time, he happily wishes me well, tells me to say hi ,and occasionally asks if he can come. Happy to be safe and truly loved by a real man who is the best teammate.
Thank you for watching and commenting! we hope you're doing okay now? We are trying to raise awareness and help those in need, which is why we have our online shop - WWW.PURGATORY.ONLINE - Please consider buying something and don't forget to subscribe :)
Yup, same here. Lol. I gave up. I'd rather be with my dogs and myself than any human alive, I think.
@@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 I have children, so our attitudes aren't exact parallels, but once I escape I'm certainly never again going to be dependant on any other person - financially, physically, mentally, or emotionally.
Trauma bonding feels just so realistically described here. The actors are awesome
Thanks Valeria! The cast really did a great job, the hard work that went into the nuances of these performances was inspiring to see!
I agree
Trauma bonding is a very accurate description. I flashbacked but stayed to the end remembering, reliving and reconciling my freedom. Thank you.
Don't spend time labeling the abuser. Abusers don't stop abusing. Abusers are responsible for the abuse. You cannot control anyone but yourself. Call your domestic violence hotline about how to safely take your children with you and leave your abuser.
It’s hard to stay away even when you’re terrified. Why?
Men like this should be alone. In the early stages of a relationship, pay close attention to red flags and how someone treats you.
Exaclty why we made this film! We hope it allows viewers to spot red flags in perspective partners. Thank you for watching and commenting! we are trying to raise awareness and help those in need, which is why we have our online shop - WWW.PURGATORY.ONLINE - Please consider buying something and don't forget to subscribe :)
You can spot most abusers from a distance, unfortunately the traits that make them stand out are often considered attractive to women. Aloofness, disconnection, charm, mysteriousness, boldness, multiple partners, flashy displays of wealth...all these things are red flag for abuser.
@@nunceccemortiferiscultu7826 thank you.
The problem is that I have grown up with parents just like this and so I’m so brainwashed I don’t even see the red flags.
@@nunceccemortiferiscultu7826 My husband was nothing like that though. I felt like I had known him my whole life. He was my best friend. He was very shy. He had never had a partner before me, never had a job before me, hadn’t even had a drivers license before me. He was completely broke. I wanted to rescue him from all that as he had a really painful childhood. I wondered why his friends in high school hadn’t helped him out more. Well I gave him everything and that is what he wanted. I didn’t even notice because he was love bombing me so hard. No one had ever warned me about that. When we got married everything changed and he completely neglected me.
Hearing, “there you go again thinking,” sent shivers down my spine. I heard those words from my abuser so many times. So many of the scenarios were familiar. I did manage to get him out of my house and out of my life. He’s the 2nd abusive man I wasted time on. I’m slowly recovering & rebuilding my life. It’s hard but I’m so much better off on my own.
This film was so well done. I hope it’ll help others understand what domestic violence can be like & encourage victims of abuse to step away from their abusers & into the role of survivors.
Thanks for sharing and your kind words on the film.
Moral: Always listen to your mother. If she warns you about bad company, listen.
Thanks for watching and commenting. Every view helps us raise money, so please share a link to our film/website www.purgatory.online - thank you :)
For me, it was my grandpa that saw it first. Im grateful that he gave me his insight
My mother the one who told me clearly he has evil eyes.. And i said maybe itu just a moment, now its true 100%
unless your mother sets an example of being with garbage however my mother still tried to stop my siblings abuser who groomed her from a young age with that much brainwashing and a invalidating cold household these things happen
100%. We can feel it, the instant we meet them, then are tormented watching their daughter take years to see it. The worst situation ever. You don't raise your kids to be someone's rag doll.
The title name, Purgatory, was a perfect choice for this film.. and describes it perfectly. It’s like living in a loop.
Has she not one friend she can call and depend on?
@@marycooper8385 it's not that easy
Or hell. The true meaning.
At first I did not like the title but then realize we are taught that Purgatory is temporary and to keep hope. Perfect title.
This should be shown in schools nationwide. The more younger people learn about this, the better. You never know the signs or these kinds of people until it’s too late, for you or someone you know.
Exactly this. We hope the film teaches better behaviour and to spot potentially unhealthy behaviour in partners. Thanks for watching and commenting. We are raising donations to help those in need, which is why we're selling a £1 'ticket' -if you liked our film and what we're trying to do, please consider buying a £1 ticket as a donation - purgatory.online/products/movie-ticket-donation - Please share our film and website, and don't forget to subscribe :)
No need to show in schools. Kids are watching this on RUclips at home already and learning sooner than than their parents ever did.
Also girlfriend abusers should be shown as well
The best way to flatten the curve domestic violence is through education about the narcissistic personality disorder. I knew one victim of domestic abuse and described the traits of a typical abuser. I told her to read everything she could about narcissism. It gave her the courage to leave her abuser without looking back.
It certainly is a big factor! well done on helping your friend. Thank you so much for commenting on Purgatory! We really need your help with our next film BREAKDOWN. We’re offering perks like signed scripts, invites to set, even the chance to BE IN THE FILM! Please help us, by checking out our short concept video and explanatory video from Director Jack Stockley on this channel. We really need your support to reach our goal, so if you can, please contribute to the campaign and PLEASE share the link to it - igg.me/at/breakdown/
It worked for me though❤
Brilliant.
When I was married to an abusive man I remember everyday waking up wondering is today going to be an okay day or a really bad day. The explosions, manipulation, coercion, pain. Best thing I did was leave and regain my freedom!!
Sounds like you went through a lot that the film represents. We hope that you are now happier and healthier and we're all sending you a lot of love and support. Thanks for watching and commenting. - Please share our film and website www.purgatory.online and don't forget to subscribe :)
know that sick feeling in the gut..
glad your okay
That must so devastating and traumatize for you to as a whole. Sometimes I wonder how cruel some men could be. I'm sorry for your experience
Sounds the life of a woman or a blk
person.
A lot of women in my family suffered with abuse for many years. I’m aware of the warning signs and know immediately what to look for in a man thanks to my mother. She had me read up on and watch what I needed to know.
She along with my aunt and gran all suffered horrific DV and abuse back in a time when it seemed to be shrugged off as a “domestic” and nobodies buisness. My aunt was finally able to leave after being in intensive care. My mum fled in the middle of the night after my dad put my baby brother in hospital with a broken arm.
She happily remarried and me and my sister were always very careful and I’m glad she made me aware. No woman or anyone actually should go through this kind of control. I hate that they do and I at least hope with police being educated, the public and improvements in the law things will get better.
It's great to hear that people can get away from bad situations and live a better life. Thank you so much for sharing and commenting on Purgatory! We really need your help with our next film BREAKDOWN. We’re offering perks like signed scripts, invites to set, even the chance to BE IN THE FILM! Please help us, by checking out our short concept video and explanatory video from Director Jack Stockley on this channel. We really need your support to reach our goal, so if you can, please contribute to the campaign and PLEASE share the link to it - igg.me/at/breakdown/
Some policemen are like the guy from the movie. 😶
I cried as I watched this. I am 4 years abuse free. I was strangled and thrown across the room by my ex boyfriend, who had spent 3 years abusing me behind closed doors. The assault was the final act of almost killing me. It took me another year to leave, because I had no $ and there are ZERO resources out there for us. ZERO. And I was in Los Angeles. I was told "just leave" by coworkers. Thank you for making this film. It might save someone.
Thank YOU for watching and sharing your story. We need to show those in need that they can lead better lives and we need to educate those who can't empathise with the victims, that they aren't to blame. We are trying to raise awareness and help those in need, which is why we have our online shop - WWW.PURGATORY.ONLINE - Please consider buying something and don't forget to subscribe :)
Kit I will pray for you ♡ you are strong and fiece and not alone.
How did you get yourself in that position? Just curious...I've always had "middle finger" money as long as I can remember. Even a bit for a long time adds up. I always tell everyone that, especially women. Have your own money, car, etc.
@@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 how did I get myself in that position? Are you blaming me?
@@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 um, not everyone is the same, this comment seems unempathetic 🧐
“you weren’t dressed like that when the delivery man came were you” i felt that one line viscerally. i had forgotten those “little” comments and negs in the wake of the explicit abuse and violence that came after in my last relationship (19F, 25M, he was my boss at my college night job and we dated for four years) - it reminded me of the time he came over to my apartment in the middle of the night after being out and i had been at home for whatever reason and while he was walking into the lobby a random man came down the stairs (note that i was living in a TWELVE story apartment building with SIX apartments per floor in a college neighborhood of nyc) when he got upstairs he accused me of having just had sex with this stranger who he said must’ve been leaving my apartment because it was suspicious .???? he shamed me and silent treatmented me and threatened me. and these things happened all the time. but he controlled my world - or so it felt. i feel compassion for my younger self. great dialogue.
Thanks for sharing your story. Many readers find solace and support in knowing they are not alone. We hope that you're doing better now and living an amazing and love filled life. Thank you so much for watching and commenting on Purgatory! Please click the like button and sub to the channel, as it makes the algorithm spread the film :)
That's because THEY cheat.
Oh sweetheart. I know where you are coming from. I am so sorry.
Chills. I had 2 repairmen come to the home I rented for 2 different appliance failures and was asked the same thing. At first, the "jealousy" is a little flattering because it makes you feel like this person cares about you, but eventually it gets exhausting when anyone and EVERYONE is a threat.
How about saying "no, I was wearing a belly dancing outfit I rented for Halloween", yes, my blood was boiling at his constant put downs and twisting every thing good into bad.
I'll have to admit that the accusation that she was dressed up for the delivery man threw me for a loop. I thought it was just him that said things like this, leaving me feeling cheap and somehow bad
Thank you for commenting and sharing, we hope that you're doing okay. sending support and love!
You wouldn't believe the insecurity in a man that is going out with a goregous woman and makes comments like "I don't know what you do or look like when I'm not around" in a condescending tone. Treating a loyal woman like a thirsty go. Then having 2 instagram accounts liking and following porn stars langerie photos. double standard
@@lizi.2503 It is a double standard. However I also think theyre not contradictory, but go hand in hand. If a man spends a large chunk of the moments to himself virtually viewing women portrayed as hypersexualized, naughty, unfaithful, and easy, it's not surprising that it begins to color their view of the world and the the real women around them. I had a neighbor who got a black eye and a huge bite mark because her man found a porn that looked "exactly" like her, and he wouldn't accept that it wasn't her. They had only been dating a year or so, so even if it had been a video of her (it wasn't), the video was ollldddd and posted way before they even met. It's crazy. Like they can thoughtlessly spend all day drooling over the idea of a woman that isn't rooted in reality, then despise the real woman living with him for having the capability of becoming the "loose, flirtatious woman" he fantasizes about, which would bring him shame and make him a "cuck". So twisted
Mine thought the mailman was having a affair with me. Because I spoke to him when he put a large package just inside the door
@@somerandomperson5521 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤯
Idk what's more sick....the abuse itself of the fact that he nurtures her afterwards like this is something normal. Psychopaths are experts at abuse and that makes them harder to leave, if not impossible
Thank you for watching and commenting! The love given after an outburst is how they trap their victims. We are trying to raise awareness and help those in need, which is why we have our online shop - WWW.PURGATORY.ONLINE - Please consider buying something and don't forget to subscribe :)
Everything is so relatable. Very accurate representation of abuse. The outbursts can also include physical abuse and the same apologies come later. The little details are so accurate like not allowing her to go out of the house, jealousy from the delivery guy, distancing her from her mom, sexual abuse while she’s asleep. Everything is so accurate… and the cycle of love bombing and abuse that goes on and on. In an abusive relationship we don’t see the abuser as a bad person. We feel empathy for them for some reason because after abuse they show how they are suicidal and going insane. We show them love and care, while ignoring our own needs. Getting out of abuse is difficult, especially when you’re pregnant or don’t have enough financial resources. Such videos are so important to educate what an abusive cycle looks like because after facing abuse for a long time, we start doubting our own self and it’s really important to be reminded again and again that we are being abused.
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The abuse shown here is much worse than what I went through but I still relate with a lot. The hardest part is how it makes you feel like you’re losing your mind. I hated questioning my own reality. I could no longer trust myself to remember events as they happened because he would get in my head. The first time it got physical was because I quietly cried in front of his friends after he told me he’s more attracted to other women. He was worried his friends would think he was abusive. For the longest time I believed I deserved it. I remember the pit in my stomach the morning after, hoping he wasn’t mad anymore. Unfortunately he was. His first words when he woke up were “Are you going to apologize?” This is after he choked me and left a big dark bruise on my arm.
He then checked his phone, realized his friends didn’t even notice me crying and all his anger went away. It was as if nothing happened. That switch was scary.
I wish I could go back in time and hug myself. I was so scared and felt so guilty for reacting normally to a mean comment.
We hope that you're doing okay now and have found happiness. thanks for sharing your story, it helps other to seek help. Thanks for watching Purgatory! Please CLICK THE LIKE BUTTON & SUBSCRIBE to the channel, as it makes the algorithm spread the film and our message of support :)
Hugs, 😢
I saw an old school friend in her front yard as I was driving by and stopped to say hello. The look of sheer terror on her face when she saw me was stunning. She begged me to leave and was looking around to see if anyone saw her talking to me. We reconnected years later and she told me she finally took her baby girl and fled. She is now married to a man who adores her, lives on a small farm and has a son also. She is living proof that you can do more than survive, you can thrive. To all the women like her, you too can find lasting happiness.
One important thing to remember for the abused person...you will NEVER change an abuser, loving them only makes it worse. They need professional help.
I’ve never been in a relationship and this is my biggest fear, because truthfully how can you ever tell what someone is like? I try to educate myself by watching videos like these
It's not always about what someone is like, people do change over time or due to circumstances and that can be for better or worse. That being said, don't be afraid to love, but do learn to understand human characteristics, so you know how to be the best for yourself and get the best from someone. a good relationship grows to become a good team. Thanks for watching and commenting. Every view helps us raise money, so please share a link to our film/website www.purgatory.online - thank you :)
Pay close attention to how you feel in the progress of the relationship. Feelings never lie, and they are never vague. Self-doubt, confusion, walking on shells, shock, isolation, shame, but most of all fear, should have no place in a loving relationship.
@@BlueMuseProductions klQ
you dont need to be in a relationship to be happy. love is overrated anyway
By experience I tell u Always Always ask them about how their parents treated each other as a couple if he witnessed dv because that's the way u will know what kind of person he will be with u ..
I survived almost 9 years with someone exactly like this. It took him a few years to get to the point of full out gas lighting (had to build trust before he destroyed me) If anyone is in a relationship with someone like this, get out now. It only gets worse, you're not going to fix them. Make a plan, and get out.
Make a plan, make a move. Please click the like button and sub to the channel for more :) - Thank you so much for commenting on Purgatory! We really need your help with our next film BREAKDOWN. We’re offering perks like signed scripts, invites to set, even the chance to BE IN THE FILM! Please help us, by checking out our short concept video and explanatory video from Director Jack Stockley on this channel. We really need your support to reach our goal, so if you can, please contribute to the campaign and PLEASE share the link to it - igg.me/at/breakdown/
EXACTLY
Do it safely to
This reminded me so much of my ex. I was literally shaking, heart pounding, sick to my stomach while watching this very accurate representation. It was like watching what I went through, through someone else’s eyes. When you’re with a partner like this you are blinded by love and psychological manipulation. And even when you know what’s going on, the bond is so strong, you can’t bear to separate from them. I’m so glad I finally took the leap of faith and listened to logic rather than my emotions. Because now at 23 I’m finally in the first truly healthy, loving, stable relationship of my life. And I could never go back. There’s something so beautiful and pure about a love like this. I’ve never known anything like it. Please, if you’re in an abusive relationship like the one depicted in this film, take the leap of faith. There is a whole new life awaiting you beyond this hell.
Well said! We need stories like yours to show victims that they can find a better life and to help those who don't/can't understand, to find empathy with victims. thank you for being strong enough to share with us.
My ex husband was like this. I woke up once and he was putting toe-nails in my ear. 😞
Me too. It's so debilitating and I lost so many years. It's still really hard for me to feel secure. So much doubting myself.
@@c.s.7266 you are worth too much to doubt yourself x
Me too
This film is extremely well done and hits closer to home than I anticipated. Her saying "Today is going to be a good day" is what I would say sometimes.
It is difficult to leave these types of relationships and you cannot see how bad it is till after you are dropped to the side.
Totally here for you and these comments! Hope that you're doing well now. Thanks for watching Purgatory! Please CLICK THE LIKE BUTTON & SUBSCRIBE to the channel, as it makes the algorithm spread the film and our message of support :)
Everything about this film was so accurate, it made my heart race and my palms sweat. This was my childhood. He had utter and complete control over us all. He was pure evil and the only reason we all got free of him was because he died at the age of 46. However, even though he died when I was 21, it has taken my mum, me and my sister another 20 yrs heal to the point of peace and acceptance of our past... but we'll never be who or what we would have been without Everything we went through. Thank you for bringing awareness to this.
I'm so sorry for this.. I have children and I'm trying to get out for their sake as much as mine.. The older the kids are getting the worse he gets the worse the control gets...
🙏🏻💔💔
From someone who has suffered from DV myself, thank you so much for putting a film out there like this to highlight the true struggles within domestic violence so more people can understand that we can’t “JUST LEAVE”
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Victim here as well. I was a young vulnerable person and I kept getting sucked back in each time we broke up. I finally realized, no man is better than this man. I moved 1000 miles away to get away. Lots a therapy later and I have a healthy relationship with my husband of 31 years.
So happy for you I was married to a man like this too narcissistic and abusing but once he started mentally abusing my daughter and putting her down not his daughter I was gone and he hit me one time it was enough for me when he was at work I drove 1700 miles back to my home town left Florida and him in the rear view mirror for divorced and didn’t look back
31 years of happiness!! Go you guys!!! We're going to celebrate this for a little while longer 🎉🎉🎉🎉 Thank you for watching and commenting! we are trying to raise awareness and help those in need, which is why we have our online shop - WWW.PURGATORY.ONLINE - Please consider donating, sharing and don't forget to subscribe :)
I hope I can one day not find a man that will not abuse me. My last two relationships were very similar to this, and I honestly don’t know how that happened because I have been going to therapy and trying to not get into relationships with these narcissistic abusers, but the fact that it happened twice in a row is very concerning to me.
I dealt with this for almost 8 years…i was isoleted and depressed i had low self esteem. My 7 year old son passed away and he blamed me, the abuse got worse. I attempted to take my own life not only because the loss of my son, but my ex was leading me down that road. I couldn’t grieve or cry for my son because he would scream at me. I ended up in a hospital for mental health after my 2nd suicide attempt and I was done for good. Im still traumatized today and I mess up in relationships because i think everyone is him.
We love you. Remember that there is love out there for you. We hope you have some form of support network? friends? family? or social support? If you are UK based and need help, please visit WWW.PURGATORY.ONLINE - If you are not in the UK, drop us an email at bluemuseproductions@outlook.com and we can help get you in touch with a support group.
U will be alright.huge hugs and my prayers coming your way.May Allah bless you.i divorced a narcissist 8 months back.i decided to leave as I wanted my children to feel safe and secure, I didn't want him to do to them what he did to me.All I knew was fear and anguish for 12 years.my kids are free now.your beautiful son is in a safe and happy place.You will meet him one day
I’m so very sorry.. sending you love and light 🤍
Praying and fasting and standing in the gap for you. One thing at a time, one day at a time. Music helps me ,fishing helps me,walking helps me,reading helps me .
Hey I've been there. You can get out, there is help. Sending love
Crying, just... Crying. Thank you all for what you do. Thank you for not allowing us to be unseen.
thank you for watching and please share a link to our website WWW.PURGATORY.ONLINE - the film is free on there, as well as link for support.
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the actors were brilliant, such accuracy and depth in the plot, this deserves an award.
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I was just thinking I appreciate the actors who go into these types of things knowing they’re playing abusers or victims. Important to bring awareness.
Don’t ever allow your partner to scream at you like that.
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Tearing out their vocal cords helps
The first time a person in any relationship doesn't respect you, turn and walk. Then, you've lost nothing but a short amount of your time.
The hard part is, the most sinister don't show themselves until the other person has given away all power. 👹
If they start interrogating you there's a problem they don't even need to yell. Struck me on my shoulder yesterday. I walked away.
It’s not about “allowing.” People can take other people’s power. Some are not able to stand up for or protect themselves. Saying “just don’t allow it” doesn’t respect the victim but instead blames them. Just a friendly reminder to be careful of the advice you give, even with pure intentions ♥️
Been a victim myself of coercive control and mental abuse, with both threats of and actual violence. I spent a decade in a state of increasing fear, and eventually found the strength to leave. It's so vital that domestic abuse in all its forms is recognised Thank you for this film.
this is what we want. to educate people in behaviours not to accept. Thank you for sharing your truth and advocating our film. Thank you for watching and commenting! we are trying to raise awareness and help those in need, which is why we have our online shop - purgatory.online/collections/all - Please consider donating, sharing and don't forget to subscribe :)
So crazy to think back , 14 years .....I lived through 14 years of this and so much worse ....Healing from this takes time. Be good to yourselves out there.
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You are a brave lady.
Your beautiful I’m so happy you got out alive so many don’t ❤️🙏🏼
I’m sorry you went through this
Awful it is
Yes ..things get worse than this. Another thing both men and women say to you if you tell them about it is
“ You must have deserved it” or “ Did you provoke it? “
Situations can degrade and get worse, you're right and thank you so much for commenting on Purgatory! We really need your help with our next film BREAKDOWN. We’re offering perks like signed scripts, invites to set, even the chance to BE IN THE FILM! Please help us, by checking out our short concept video and explanatory video from Director Jack Stockley on this channel. We really need your support to reach our goal, so if you can, please contribute to the campaign and PLEASE share the link to it - igg.me/at/breakdown/
Yes
Oh yeah, that's what I heard.
Even in the film enough - when the wife is seen badly bruised by the spouse - the mother in law asks "honey what did you do?"
When my ex picked me up and threw me across the kitchen when our son was 1.5 years, my "best" friend and his mother said I provoked him. That friend is no longer my friend and my ex's mother still enables him.
My Ex Narcissistic husband used to smirk when he'd made me cry; He also used to search through my belongings just in case I bought something that he didn't know about. Thank you for showing this video.
hey gillian, thank you for watching and commenting! It means a lot to have the film shared and the messaged discussed. We hope you're keeping safe and well.
My ex did the same. Sometimes mimicked my crying and laughed, mocking me. It can be hard to watch things depicting DV, but I'm still thankful for videos like this that can raise awareness. People just don't know how good at hiding it these abusers can really be.
My ex boss use to do the same! 😭 She loved making me feel worthless and not good enough. Even smirked at me whilst I cried in front of her and senior managers. She pushed me so much that I almost topped myself.
Thankfully, I was able to walk from the job and get my mental health back. Now in a new job, with fantastic managers and healing with self love and good friends ❤
Hope you are ok now 😘
Well done to all of you for somehow managing to deal with that kind of horrific abuse. I've never been treated even close to this by any person in my life and I'm still incredibly depressed and anxious. Well done!
Gillian...me too..28 yrs I endured that sick smirk and lack of empathy when he'd made me cry..it was unbelievable.
The part where she was begging to see her mom, was awful to watch and way too relatable 😔
I am really sorry about that!
Very powerful. The subtleness, the indirect and direct abuse and the acting of the two was just brilliant.
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@@BlueMuseProductions Yes most definitely.
I had 13 years of it. Nothing if it was this mild.
After 2 weeks of him being in jail I realized this felt like heaven.
I never let him back.
He was bad with the kids but our local friend of the court in the USA seemed to think my children were safe with him.
My oldest son is 42 now and I said he's still not safe with him.
They are nasty forever...they just learn when and how to hide it.
Thanks for sharing your story. It helps others find support and not feel alone. We hope you're keeping safe and healthy now. Thank you so much for watching and commenting on Purgatory! Please click the like button and sub to the channel, as it makes the algorithm spread the film :)
If ‘just leave’ was the answer there wouldn’t be a problem, never the victim’s fault - spot on!
Thanks for watching and commenting! you couldn't be more right. We're also trying to help those in need, which is why we have our online shop - WWW.PURGATORY.ONLINE - Please consider buying something and don't forget to subscribe :)
That’s really well said, thank you.
Leaving IS the only answer
But to where is the problem
@@YeshuaKingMessiah hi Yeshua. Exactly! To where that’s why it’s not the answer. Fine if you have somewhere to go but not all abused victims do. But also the opportunity as abusers are also very controlling. I so so hope you are not in an abusive relationship. Take care
It was my reality for more than 2 years. Notice, that manipulation doesn't start like one-two-three. Never. They will make you helpless first. Then the rest comes. I've been there and I classify myself as a classic Stockholm syndrome victim. All I can say now is healing takes hell of a time. It's not even healing, but some kind of awakening.
Thanks for sharing your story. It really helps those who seek advice. Thanks for watching Purgatory! Please CLICK THE LIKE BUTTON & SUBSCRIBE to the channel, as it makes the algorithm spread the film and our message of support :)
I think first comes the awakening, then more slowly, the healing once you allow to forgive yourself (for allowing someone to abuse you and not defend yourself).
@@alexzombie111 Right, thanks for the reply. In my case, I still didn't allow to forgive myself.
I didn't think I was going to be able to make it through the whole film. It takes a lot to make me emotional about my past, but this scenario was far to real and familiar. Thank you for all of your continued efforts into this crime against women, children, AND men. I've seen that with my own eyes as well.
Thank you for watching and I'm sorry to hear you have some personal experience with the subject matter x
@@shaylyngibson9440 it's something that's not talked about enough in a more realistic dynamic like this. This was not one of those "thrown together" things, by inexperienced people and I appreciate that so much.
@@jillianolson5829 and we appreciate you watching and commenting. Thank you
This was so fa.iliar for me too 14 years I lived through it. Its been 3 years now and all I cam say is heing takes time. Remeber to be good to yourself and be patient 🙏
@@Melisamonet Is the male abused in this video or the female ??? Please tell.
I used to dance around like her and be happy like that and my ex would tell me that I was arrogant or fake. I heard that from the time I was four years old and even one of my family members wrote talking about me when I was 10 years old that “she’s so sweet and nice it borders on the con“ …my point is these people are just evil and they can’t stand happy, genuine people and for whatever reason, it triggers the evil and the rage within them. They really will kill you, ruin your life and they do want you dead make no mistake about it.
There are still good people out there. Don't let other people dictate your mood :) be the force for good in the world. Thanks for watching Purgatory! Please CLICK THE LIKE BUTTON & SUBSCRIBE to the channel, as it makes the algorithm spread the film and our message of support :)
I used to stare at my phone when my mum called and know I couldn’t answer because if I answered she would know something was wrong. What makes me think is how the common threads in abuse is even carried out by these people, honestly I think evil can be in people’s blood. I survived 7 years of abuse and I would always say being punched was easier than the mental abuse. Love to everyone out there and if you are in this just know there is a way out even when it seems like there isn’t
Thank you for sharing your story and your words of experience. Victims can make changes and lead happy, healthy lives! Thanks for watching and commenting. We are raising donations to help those in need, which is why we're selling a £1 'ticket' -if you liked our film and what we're trying to do, please consider buying a £1 ticket as a donation - purgatory.online/products/movie-ticket-donation - Please share our film and website, and don't forget to subscribe :)
I hope not because I don't want my baby growing up to be a monster. I will love my baby out of that!!!
I agree. many women beat their boyfriends and no one cares
Evil is allwed to exist
My sisters thought I cut them from my lives because I was married. When I finally got out I got to be around and call etc, it was so nice after six years of not being able to. Then I found the love of my life. My sisters thought I’d cut them out again. I had to explain that he wouldn’t let me be around or call unless he was with me. It’s wild how your closest circle won’t realize it’s your partner, not you, ignoring them.
@@elbarain2440 I dnt believe your born that way, please do not take that comment to heart 💜
The trauma bonding cycle of the abuser traumatizing and then comforting their partner over and over again is so well represented in this short film. One thing that we do miss with the short time frame of the film is how this abuser surely did not behave like this in the beginning of the relationship. Abusers like this are so manipulative that they wait until they know that their partner cares for them deeply and THEN they begin to show their more angry and/or controlling and/or violent behavior, and they often make excuses for the behavior that they know will trigger sympathy from their partner (past trauma, feeling of inadequacy, etc.). Not a slight toward the film at all that this wasn't included, just something I thought was worth mentioning. I thought this film was extremely well done! Thanks to the creators and actors, you all have a lot to be proud of!
Thank YOU for taking the time to watch and reflect on the film and its content. From a filming point of view, you're asking for feature length film to be made! :) but yes, you are correct, the abusers don't start off as abusive. They draw their partner in and it's all good. Until they feel comfortable enough to start pushing emotional buttons. Thanks for watching and commenting. We are raising donations to help those in need, which is why we're selling a £1 'ticket' -if you liked our film and what we're trying to do, please consider buying a £1 ticket as a donation - purgatory.online/products/movie-ticket-donation - Please share our film and website, and don't forget to subscribe :)
Thank you ✨
I went through similar and worse for 30 years. No-one understands unless they have been through it or watch movies like this.
The worst abuse these insidious beings commit is invalidation.
Your movie made me feel validated.
💖
We're glad to hear that your abuse was in the past and that you got out, but so sorry to hear that you endured for so long. It seems that our film has started to help some people, so thank YOU for sharing. Please help us by sharing a link to our webshop on your socials purgatory.online/collections/all
The beginning is so horribly accurate. How lovely it is to start the day with a charming, caring, and loving man who wakes you with sweet gestures and loving physical touch. Just ignore why it makes you feel uncomfortable and go about your day.
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It started out so Subtle which is exactly how it starts him being so kind and normal at some points, this video is very informative and important to show so many women and men go through this abuse on the daily.
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I pray that everyone involved in an abusive relationship is able to find the STRENGTH, the COURAGE and the SUPPORT they need to be able to LEAVE their abuser. 🙏❤️🙏
This is IT. Thank you for this!!!!
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I’ll admit it I ran outta there once my family recognized this and were having concerns about me
This was devastating to watch. We all need to be reminded that this is happening every day and should not be kept hidden. Thank you for not being afraid to show the truth.
We're happy to hear that the films emotional impact lands correctly. The crew, Shaylyn and Scott really DID do a good job, huh!? Thank you for watching and commenting! we are trying to raise awareness and help those in need, which is why we have our online shop - WWW.PURGATORY.ONLINE - Please consider buying something and don't forget to subscribe :)
one of the things very common specially in some cultures is the need for extended family to step in-this did absolutely not help in my case and exasperated the situation where side was taken from both ends and luckily for me my family picked up on the ordeal through slips of craziness from her!
It's been just over 2 months since I ended an almost 11 year relationship with a covert narcissist. It took me 10 years and 3 months to put it all together. Once I realized what she is, everything made sense. It definitely started with love bombing then devaluation. Constantly repeated the same toxic cycle and I let it continue while being extremely depressed and confused. I gave her everything(and I mean everything) but it was never enough.
I'm in therapy now and going through ptsd while feeling like a fool that I didn't see it all sooner. I learned about narcissism and gas lighting at that 10 year 3 month mark. It was an extremely painful reverse discard but the amount of stress that has left my daughter and I is unreal. We are piecing our lives back together and trying to attain a sense of normalcy or at minimum, the new normal.
I truly hope that more people educate others on what narcissistic relationships look like, and what gaslighting is. You might just save a friend, family member, or someone you just crossed paths with, a lot of pain and continued misery.
I'm pausing this at 0:44 seconds and saying that as soon as he said, " did you sleep all the way through" my heart dropped....I don't have to watch this to know exactly how this is going to end bc I lived it( although I will )...gut punch....heart hurts, I've been here.... everyone- know your worth!!. You are ALL special and no one deserves or should be given the power to have control or manipulation over you...oh how I pray we ALL find our inner strength to lift ourselves higher. This is for the evil, negativity and malicious entities too. Nothing good comes from a lower vibration...except that it should lead you to the light...let the darkness allow you to rise from its ashes. You can heal here. There IS hope. TRUST AND BELIEVE IN KNOWING YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT, YOU DESERVE MORE, YOU ARE MORE!
Thanks for sharing your personal story and for giving your reactionary response. We're glad to see that your inspired to help and giving positive comments! Thank you.
Thanks for watching and commenting. We are raising donations to help those in need, which is why we're selling a £1 'ticket' -if you liked our film and what we're trying to do, please consider buying a £1 ticket as a donation - purgatory.online/products/movie-ticket-donation - Please share our film and website, and don't forget to subscribe :)
I will never understand how and why someone functions as an abuser. I understand the confusion and heartbreak of the victim because she can’t ever understand someone who tells her they love her could ever be so cruel. This is so accurate and so heartbreaking men and women go through this.
They are born narcisstic and never get counseling to work through it. That's the simple answer. But it always seems more complicated than that.
Remember not everyone is a narcisst. Learn and teach the warnings signs so we can leave these people and find better.
Thanks for watching and commenting such strong words. We are raising donations to help those in need, which is why we're selling a £1 'ticket' -if you liked our film and what we're trying to do, please consider buying a £1 ticket as a donation - purgatory.online/products/movie-ticket-donation - Please share our film and website, and don't forget to subscribe :)
I wonder if they were the same in childhood?
It’s like a dog that gets blood in its mouth. They taste power and destroy a humanity barrier most would never want to cross. Once they cross it it’s too late. Lord of the Rings. Hashtag.
Me too. Can we read or see a video why someone becomes and functions as an abuser? I am a victim of a narcissist abuser. My wounds are still fresh and God how could I fall in that lying an manipulative game?!?
I worked at a Shelter for abused partners, not just for women but men too. It really doesn't matter how many times we stepped in to help, and offered undisclosed homes/shelters, counseling, activities, medical care etc., the women/men always went back. After they're away for a while, they seem to forget why they're there, or they desperately want to believe that their partner has changed. Because at the end of the day, Love is what drives the abused person to stay. They keep remembering what it was like in the beginning.... the "courting" stage. I used to hear it all the time.... "he/she was so nice when we first met, and used to do...... or that they....." It's hard for them to understand that the person in the beginning was a lie, and that the abuser is who they really are. Just take one day at a time.... and time really does heal.... but you have to love yourself first!
Shelter needs to understand the ‘trauma bond’ in order to help the clients fully understand WHY they want to go back.
@Kaitlyn Doute yes you can only inform..ultimately the journey and the decision to make is on them.They either heed the lesson and value themselves or the lesson repeats until they do.❤️
They're just bloody con men and women.
It is so sad to see people want to believe in the past and that everything will be alright again. The fantasy really prevents progress.
It is not love, but trauma bond that is driving them back. That's why they need specialist treatment experienced in the matter and it lasts long.